


Reignited

by Duuupuh



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Betaed, Betaed from chapter 3, Character Death, F/M, Graphic Description, Insecurity, Military, Military Training, Multi, Multiple Relationships, Not Beta Read, Reader-Insert, Shooting, Swearing, Violence, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2018-08-08 08:58:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 173,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7751353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duuupuh/pseuds/Duuupuh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a reader-insert fanfic following the interactions between the soldiers called Elites (Sawamura, Sugawara, Kuroo, Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Bokuto and Akaashi) and a heroine, you/the reader, who is trying to survive one day at time in the middle of the war. Old scars will be ripped open while new ones only try to heal, there will be trust issues and argues, fights and confusion, but also harmony. Understanding... and the most importantly, love. </p>
<p>This is a story of a woman, who had given up on everything, finding a reason to stand up and fight once again. </p>
<p>This is the story of the reigniting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Before the end there's the beginning

_I have to be strong._

Air was filled with dust and smell of gun powder. You could hear gun shots and screams coming from streets. Faint footsteps as soldiers ran past but you were waiting calmly in your hiding place. A high-rise near the cliffs, the second floor. The enemy wouldn't check the building. Not now… not when they were seeing a victory right in front of them. The dust dried your throat but you didn't dare to cough. Not now. There was no room for a single mistake.

You were crouching against the wall while holding a certain launcher in your lap. Waiting for the right time to use it. The windows in the room were towards the Sweet River, and if you would have just lifted yourself up and looked to left from the window you could have seen the bridge between the buildings. You could see your allies defending it to get everyone to the safety. 

Everyone but you, and that was the reason enough not to look. Instead you watched the sky as it was turning scarlet as the sun was setting. And you listened. And you waited.

You took a deep breath. _I have to be strong for them_. You looked down at the launcher only to notice that your hands were shaking. Frustration was building inside you, shivers went through your body. It felt like forever when you had last time heard about your team. Or was it only minutes? You couldn’t be sure anymore.

"What's the situation?" you asked quietly. Your headset stayed silent for a moment. Forever. Then the device made small buzzed sound.

"[ _They haven't reached the bridge yet but they are closing fast._ ]" Tsukishima answered, his voice was steady as always but you could hear discomfort in his voice. He liked this as less as you. “[ _There is still time, (Name), you still could - -_ ]“ 

“But I won’t.” You interrupted him while shaking your head little, it felt horrible to hear him plead. “I will stay here. Just… make sure I won’t blow them up with the bridge, okay? It would be too tragic.” 

This time Tsukishima answered quicker but in irritated tone. “[ _Tch, just like this whole mission hasn’t already turned into a tragedy._ ]”

_I’m the tragedy here_ , you thought but dared not to say it out loud. It would only be followed with depressing silence and ill feelings. Apologies. You would need to face those things inexorably quite soon so why to hasten. _I have to be stronger than that. For them_. It surprised you to realize how much you actually thought about your team right now. It hadn’t always been this way… actually, the beginning had been pretty rough for everybody. 

Thanks to you… mostly.

You chuckled little to your own notice, _I was a tragedy back then too, wasn’t I?_

Gun shots quieted as memories started to flood back to your mind like photographs... even sounds, smells and forgotten feelings were there. It felt like you were living the moments again. Maybe it’s because in the end you strangely start thinking the beginning. 

And in the beginning for you, there was only a long rocky road and irritation.

* * *

You gazed out from the car’s open window without really seeing anything. Well there was not much to see either, only a rocky land view and a couple of half-dead trees here and there. Bumps. Rocks were cracking under the tires. You were absorbed in your thoughts, rather irritating ones. Wind played with loose strands of your [h/l] [h/c] hair, which you had tried to tie neatly in hurry. You were wearing pretty casual clothes: grey sweatpants and a white tank top with a sports bra. A metallic, simple styled dog whistle tingled against the dog tags.

From time to time you could detect the driver give you curious looks through the rear-view mirror. His dark tired-looking eyes lingered small moments on your figure before turning attention back on the non-existing road. Wind made his messy black hair look like it was a living thing. It annoyed you. Everything annoyed you at the moment. The whole day had been shitty unpleasant for you. 

Sudden big changes weren’t really to your taste… you would not have had any problems with this transportation from the base of Eagle Garden to the Crow’s Nest IF JUST your superiors would have warned you a little bit earlier. Not on the same day. Not out of the blue. When the head commander of the Eagle Garden had summoned you to his office with your trainer Washijou, that wretched bastard (the feeling was mutual), you already could taste shit in your mouth. 

The commander informed you that you were going to be shifted to the southern army base of Allied Guards, to the Crow’s Nest. There had been silence which you decided to fill by naturally asking when you should start preparing for the leave. The answer still rang in your ears, making your blood boil: “ _Your ride has already arrived and ready to leave whenever you are ready. Better not let them wait._ ” It had totally caught you off guard but what had pissed you off the most had been that contemptuous smirk on Washijou’s face when he had seen your reaction. He had looked so _satisfied_. 

You had taken off immediately, packed everything you owned (there really wasn’t too much of it) and headed towards the location where the driver, who introduced himself as Matsukawa, had been waiting for you. The loyal companion of yours, a huge German shepherd named Mashur, had followed you right on your heels excited. Then you got another mental slap on your face: the dog was not allowed to travel with you on the back seat.

It was already normal to you that the size of your German shepherd frightened many people – even hardboiled soldiers looked aghast after meeting him for the first time. Mashur was clearly bigger that the most of its kind, plus it also was slightly denser which made it look more like a small bear than a huge dog. While Mashur was sitting next to your standing figure you could rest your arm comfortably on its head. The canine had strong built and it could rather easily shove an unsuspecting grown up man to the ground. You had trained it on the warzone and you couldn’t be more proud of your dog. He was your loyal companion, your strength, your protection… and now that fine creature was trapped in a way too small dog transportation crate. 

_He can’t even sit straight in there_ , you had thought when the dog had been finally trapped. You had tried and tried to explain that your companion hates to be locked in and would be totally under your control but this Matsukawa had not believed in it. He had only shook his head while furrowing his thick eyebrows: no dogs on to his car’s back seat. You had felt like wanting to spit venom to his squinty, sleepy eyes. 

Fighting more about the matter would not had probably resolved anything. You had been so fed up about the whole situation and ready to leave that rotten garden of old farts so you had had to give in… you had chosen to travel on the back seat closer the cargo where Mashur was trapped. 

Later on you had wished you would have fight a bit more for your companion’s comfort.

When you had left the Eagle Gardens everything around you had been green and living and fresh, but as you drove further away to the south towards the mountains, the surroundings had started turn into dead dry stone. _Rocky waste land, how lovely_. The worst part still was the road – there was more bumps on it than there was hills in Himalaya and every time the car hit another rock or bump, which caused it to jump even so slightly, you could hear small whimper of discomfort coming from the dog transportation crate behind you. The whimpers got the louder the further you drove. And every time you heard that sad sound your eyes flamed with irritation and burned another hole to the back of the driver’s head. All Matsukawa could do was to give you an apologizing smile. 

_It’s too late to apologize now_ , you thought before drifting back to your thoughts. Otherwise the car ride had been really silent. Of course Matsukawa had tried to have some small-talk with you multiple times but you had no interest in such things. You weren’t there to make memories so you ignored him. At some point he finally had given up trying to talk with you, and was now only giving you those inquisitive looks. It was almost as annoying as his attempts to have a chat had been.

At some point you drove past a small village which Matsukawa explained to be named Gezende, and only about an hour later you saw a city in the distance but got no explanation which city it was. Well you really didn’t care, and you were not going to ask about it either. 

“We have arrived, miss!” Matsukawa finally called. He gave you a smile trough the rear-view mirror. “Welcome to the Crow’s Nest, the Southern army base of King’s Allied Guards in the land of Arylean.” 

There was a hint of proudness and excitement in his tone though his face was showing no deeper emotions. The car went through open gates and soon you could spot many different buildings. The area was huge and full of life as soldiers were working on with their tasks. The most of them were wearing white shirts with grey camouflage pants. 

Your ride stopped at the huge main building. There was two flags with different sigils on the roof: a pitch black crown on an orange field for the Crow’s Nest of the Allies and a white tree with golden leaves on a turquoise field for the kingdom of Arylean.

The kingdom had got a new king 10 years ago and the country was already in a war. The new king wasn’t pure Aryleanese by birth like his predecessors, which had made some old believers rise against him. Still he was well-loved by his people because he really put his heart and soul in to make the Arylean wealthier and more well-being country. People who rose against “the Impure King” started to call themselves Blood Brothers and their goal was to throw current king from the throne and name better one, a pure blooded king.

The War of Blood has been going on for nine years now and no significant improvement have been seen on either sides. Arylean had had to ask help from the other countries since over half of its own soldiers had turned against the Impure King, and so the Allied Guards of Arylean, or Allies, was founded. You had been playing your part in this war for five years now. 

You immediately hopped off the car when it stopped and went to release your companion. A soldier with light brownish hair with short cut approached Matsukawa who leaned lazily on the vehicle. They seemed to be good friends.

“Welcome back!” he said, and turned his attention to you and gave a small smile “Welcome to our base! How was the ride, miss?”

You glanced at him irritated and continued to unpack the cargo so you could reach the dog transportation crate. Mashur knew that freedom was close and was getting restless. It made you restless too. The brown haired man looked at you in confusion as Matsukawa answered the question.

“Hee.. thanks Hanamaki. Well the ride was rather calm… maybe little _bumpy._ ” 

He clearly said the last words louder so you could hear them. You glared at him icily. Hanamaki felt chills going up his spine. Terror. He turned to his friend while covering a side of his mouth, “Oi oi, what did you do to deserve that? She’s so pissed! You must tell me everything later.”

“Pff, there’s not much to tell. That’s how she was during the whole ride.” Mashur jumped off the crate and shook and flexed himself before looking around little. He never went too far without your permission. You took your backpack and gave a look towards Matsukawa. “Hmm… It seems like we are going now. There’s some boxes for the kitchen plus medical treatments on the cargo. I promised to bring her to Ukai so could you finish the delivery for me.” 

“S-sure thing.” Hanamaki glanced at you curiously. Matsukawa turned at you and signed you to follow him to the building.

People in the building immediately noticed you. Wherever you walked the area fell silent before whispering started. They whispered about your looks, how rare sight to have female soldier and wondered the size of you German shepherd that came right on your heels. You noticed that you hadn’t seen any other female soldiers yet. But then again, you didn’t care.

A couple of floors and turns later Matsukawa stopped at certain door and pressed a buzzer. Next to the buzzer there was a badge that read ‘Commander Ukai’. Mumbled noises was heard coming behind the door before the answer came, and you were allowed to come in.

You stepped in the room which was rather dim and smelled strongly of tobacco. You followed Matsukawa to the middle of the room and saluted. Mashur came to sit right next to you with straight pose, like a salute. Matsukawa spoke first, “Matsukawa Issei, from the transporting squad. I have returned from the Eagle Garden with private (Surname) as you have asked, sir.” 

A blonde haired man wearing a headband sitting behind his desk looked at the both of you for a moment before giving you the permission to be at ease. He had a tobacco in his hand and he blew smoke out. “Hm, I can tell. How were things at the Eagle Garden?” He leaned towards and placed his arms on the desk. “Did you hear anything new?” He seemed to be interested in the matter but something in his eyes told that he already knew about it.

“I heard that some Blood Brothers had terrorized their troops in Lanchor. The enemy is turning more brutal.” Matsukawa’s expression turned slightly grim. “They care less and less about civilians. Hospitals will soon ask for medical support since there’s too many injured.” 

Ukai silently stared at Matsukawa before sighing. “It’s really unfortunate.” He inhaled the lasts of the tobacco and snuffed it out. 

Only then you noticed the third man in the room. He was standing in shadow next to the open window, wearing all pitch black outfit. He had large build which made him look pretty valiant. He had short black hair and his dark eyes were on you. _There’s something different in him_ , you thought, you could feel pressure in his stare. You squinted your eyes slightly, _How I didn’t see him earlier?_ The man gave you a surprised smile, like he hadn’t expect you to notice him this quickly. You probably wouldn’t had seen him any time soon if Mashur would not had turned his snout towards the suspicious man in the shadows. It was a sign for you to look. You gently brushed Mashur’s silky ear.

Commander Ukai leaned back on his chair. “Well I think this was all I needed for today Matsukawa. Rest well, take a nap or something, and continue as you have planned. Good work.” 

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir!” Matsukawa saluted and gave you a small nod before leaving the room. 

There was a folder on the table with your name on it. Ukai opened and eyed it. 

“So you are (Surname) (Name). I have heard quite a lot about you.” He rose his gaze from the paper to you. You didn’t avoid his gaze though you felt pressure build inside you. “Do you know why you were send here?” 

“I was not granted the pleasure of knowing it, sir.” Irritation washed over you. Your answer made the commander chuckle little.

“I have heard rumors that you had some discord with some of your superiors.” You remembered the smirk on your former trainer’s face this morning, the memory made you bit your lip and finally break the eye contact. Ukai smiled, “Well, I’m not really surprised. Washijou’s training methods are really divisive. What surprises me more is the fact you haven’t been informed about anything. We have to start from the beginning.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Haah… long story short, you have been transferred here to strengthen our lines in special forces. You will be working with the Elites after you pass the needed tests. But by the information what I already have here about you, you should pass those tests without bigger problems.” Ukai turned his attention on Mashur. “The files tell that you own a dog and handle it fine. If he doesn’t cause any problems I don’t see a reason to separate you two.” 

You gave a small relieved sigh and looked at your companion who immediately turned to gaze at you and fawned happily. You were giving him attention after all.

“There is still some tests for your dog which he needs to pass cleanly.” Ukai leaned forward again and folded the file on the desk before folding his hands on the file. “If you do well you will be able to take a part in missions as an Elite in four months. Do you have any questions in your mind?” 

You were about to answer negative but somehow you ended up looking at the man in the shadows. He gave you a warm smile, which made you hesitate little. This didn’t slip from Ukai’s notice and he followed you gaze. It was almost like he had totally forgotten the man’s presence. 

“Oh yeah! I present you the captain of the Elites, Sawamura Daichi. He will be guiding and estimating you the coming months.” 

Sawamura came to you for a handshake. “It’s nice to meet you! If you come up with questions don’t hesitate to ask them.” His voice was low and warm, and even though you were expecting him to crush your hand he was surprisingly gentle. 

“N-nice to meet you too. Thank you, sir”, you managed to say, it annoyed you how your voice trembled. Nobody seemed to notice it though. Then the buzzer rang.

“Hee in the nick of time like always”, the commander said and pressed some button on his desk. 

A light grey haired man stepped in. Air around him was everything else but intimidating, more like refreshing, maybe even flowery. He smiled and greeted everyone. The male walked next to you and saluted towards Ukai. “I hope I’m not late, Keishi!” 

_Isn’t he being a bit too familiar with the commander_ , you wondered. Ukai didn’t seem to mind.

“You came just right time Sugawara. I just finished.” Ukai turned to you again, “(Surname), this is the vice-captain of the Elites, Sugawara Koushi. He will be showing you the places today and he will be familiarizing you with our system for the following days.” Sugawara turned to you and gave a sweet genuine smile during the handshake. He had a mole under his eye which gave him angelic look. He even waved to Mashur, which made the dog turn its head curiously. 

_…is this man serious?_

“Well since you said that you have already finished you won’t mind me taking Miss (Surname) now!” Sugawara sang and gave you a nod before saluting and moving to the door. You saluted confused to the commander and followed the vice-captain. Immediately the door clicked close you could hear mumbled talking continue behind it. 

“I think we should first take your belongings to the barracks so you can move more freely. Can I carry something for you, miss?” Sugawara smiled and tilted his head little. You hated it when you were called ‘miss’ but somehow you just couldn’t get angry at Sugawara. It gave you a troublesome feeling. 

“Thank you but I got this, sir”, you said while lifting the backpack on your back. For a moment Sugawara was hypnotized by you strength and beauty before remembering the moment.

“Oh okay, and please call me just Suga”, he gave a sheepish smile, “I don’t need such honorifics. And everybody here calls me Suga anyway.” You only mumbled small ‘yes’ before looking away confused. For Sugawara it was only cute gesture but he could feel your discomfort so he decided it was better to continue. “This way please!” he said and went ahead. You headed outside and went round the main building. During walk Sugawara told you about the Elites. 

“So basically we are, as the name says, the elites of the Crow’s Nest, soldiers with our own specialties working for common good. We are a special group who take anomalous orders from the Head Quarters of the Allied Guards. Currently there are seven powerhouses in the Elites plus handful of others who support us from the distance. You will get to know everyone soon!” 

Behind the main building there was a sporting field where some soldiers were just having a close-hand combat practice. It was easy to spot an Elite from the crowd, he had a jet-black t-shirt and pants when the other soldiers had lighter grey camouflage pants and white or black t-shirts. The Elite was shouting instructions to ‘the Rookies’ as Sugawara stated them.

“As an Elite you will take part in training and educating Rookies with you talents”, the grey haired man explained, when he saw you follow the practice. “We have slightly different schedules with training since we have to be always ready to act. Someone may say that we… um.. slack off, since we have more ‘free time’ than other soldiers but the free time can be spent however we find necessary.” 

The Elite who was training the Rookies noticed you quite soon. He eyed you for a moment before shouting an order to have a pause and walking towards you two. He had dark spiky hair, his expression was serious. The man looked little intimidating which caused Mashur to growl little. You touched its head as a sign you had heard him, and the canine calmed down. It was your way to communicate with your companion.

Sugawara seemed to be surprised about the Elite and stopped. “Oh it’s you Iwaizumi! Wasn’t it supposed to be Kuroo’s turn to arrange this practice?” Sugawara shouted. Iwaizumi signed Sugawara to come closer. After apologizing and asking you to wait Sugawara went to the dark haired man. 

“There has come some changes with the plans…” was all you could Iwaizumi say before they went further and turned their backs to you. 

Without knowing how long it would take, you put your backpack down and scanned the area. There was some forest almost around the base which pleased you slightly, at least something could stay alive in this wasteland. You noticed somebody coming at you - a blonde guy with an undercut with cunning smile on his lips. Two of his friends stayed behind with their nervousness. One of them whispered as loudly as he could “Oi, Terushima, stop it already! You get in trouble!” but the man was already at you. 

_Heeeh… I have been here only minutes._

“Heeeey, pretty one!” The man stopped in front of you and smiled sweetly as he shamelessly checked every inch in you. His golden eyes lingered on your chest area before returning to your eyes. He gave that cunning smile again, “Where do they make such beauties? What’s your name?” 

You gave him a warning glare and looked for help from Sugawara but the Elite was intensely focused on the subject whichever they were talking about. Either of the Elites were not about to notice you anytime soon. Terushima knew this too. He smiled.

“No need to be shy, I just want to have some fun”, he came closer which wasn’t for your liking so you backed off. Mashur looked at the male curiously ears perked up but got ignored. The blonde was more determined than other men who had ever tried you though. At this point many had given up but this guy… this guy was stepping over the line. Greatly. 

He put his right arm around your shoulder, brushing your chest “accidently” before letting his hand hang relaxed. His grin was scheming and his words dripped honey. His golden eyes clearly desired you, or the certain part in you at least. “A woman gets also lonely here just like a man does, and when you do you should come to me. I will please you - -” His lips touched your left ear when he whispered. “- - with all my manhood you’ll be willing to take, sweetie.” 

Whoa. Sure. 

You took gentle hold of his right arm as a fake smile appeared on your lips and for a moment Terushima thought he got you and your soft woman’s heart. He couldn’t be more _wrong_. Your grip tightened and with a swift movement you slipped behind him under his arm. From there you twisted Terushima’s arm behind his back, gave a kick to the region back of his knee joint and pushed him forward which caused him to go chest first to the ground. There was not much time for him to react. Terushima grunted and for a moment seemed angry.

“What the hell was tha - -!!?” 

He turned to face you only to see Mashur towering over him. The dog had his teeth bared as he snarled malevolently. Terushima shrieked in terror and tried to back off but Mashur stepped over him and barked while snarling at him. The blonde froze in fear. You held a dog whistle in your mouth. Immediately you had pushed the blonde man down you had given small blow to the whistle - for Mashur it meant ‘go’. The sound was so high that only animals could hear it. 

“T-take this beast off m-m..!!” 

“One word”, you said calmly but loudly enough for Terushima to hear you over Mashur’s snarling. There was no expression on your face, Terushima didn’t like how heartless it made you look. “…and I could end that _loneliness_ your manhood so suffers from. How would you like that?” The male looked at the dog who was snapping its fangs dangerously close to his genitals. He turned his terrified eyes on you.

“P-p-please don’t. I-I beg y-you, let m-me g-go!” 

Mashur’s snarling and barking had drawn almost everybody attention by then and Terushima’s friends watched the situation in horror from the safe distance. Sugawara was running to you with Iwaizumi, shocked expression staining his gentle face. Even Iwaizumi seemed to be surprised how things had got out of hands so fast. 

“W-what in earth is happening here Miss (Surname)?!” Sugawara half-shouted in terror when he finally reached you. You glanced at Sugawara while Mashur kept growling at Terushima. The blonde was pathetic sight. _Would they even care if I told them what happened?_ “Miss (Surname), please make this stop! Right now.” 

You gave one last glance to Terushima, who stared your (e/c) eyes in terror. His heart stopped as you opened your mouth to speak. _One word_. “Mashur”, you said with severity in your voice. Hearing his name coming from you the dog instantly perked its ears up. “Off. With me.” You raised the backpack and started to walk to the direction where you had been heading earlier. Mashur moved away from the golden eyed man and galloped to your side. Terushima trembled as he stared you go like nothing had happened and soon his friends came to him. Sugawara felt aghast.

Sugawara immediately apologized Iwaizumi for the trouble and went after you. “Miss..!”

“Please don’t call me ‘miss’, Sugawara”, you said without meeting his eyes. You felt slightly ashamed of talking over your superior but you were currently quite pissed off. “It makes me sound like some little girl. I’m a soldier just like everybody else here so just please no more ‘miss’s.” 

Sugawara surprised to hear you say his name. Your lips made the name sound somewhat sweeter. You clearly hadn’t meant it that way but still he hummed little to it. “Mmm okay, no more ‘miss’s. Do you want to talk about what happened back there, (Name)?” 

It was your turn to surprise the way he called you by first name, you were so used to be called by your last name. How familiar this guy can get in less than an hour? You frowned slightly, “He didn’t know how to back off so I showed him how.” Mashur gave a supporting bark.

“I see”, Sugawara chuckled. “Please try be liiittle bit gentler next time, okay? Poor man looked so terrified!” 

_It was my intention_ , you thought, _so there wouldn’t be the ‘next time’_. Still you just mumbled a small ‘yes’ and continued your tour with the cheerful Elite.

Little did you know that Ukai had followed your actions from his window with Sawamura. The captain had watched your movements amazed while Ukai had just sighed troubled. After things had solved out and you had started to walk off with the vice-captain, Ukai had returned to his seat and opened the file about you again. 

He sighed again.

“Something in her is clearly troubling you”, Sawamura said to which the commander answered by grunting. It annoyed how well the captain knew him. He started to read a part from the file which included notes about your talents:

“ _\- - studied first-aid in a high school and has great paramedic skills, handles pressure well, interested in Aryleanese culture, makes up her weak build and lack of power with speed and mobility, quick to act - -_ well that one certainly is true.” Ukai lit a tobacco. As he sighed again smoke rushed out of his mouth.

Sawamura looked at him confused. “Those are all good skills to have, sir. Everything you just read was like a high praise for her, so what is the problem? She seems to be overall fine soldier.” Ukai turned at the younger male. 

“Those words were written by (Name)’s own uncle who worked for military all his life. Sir (Surname) was strict but caring trainer… I met him a couple of times before he retired for taking care of his niece. I heard he even trained (Name) before she joined the military.” The blonde man watched as the smoke rose towards the ceiling. “The problem really isn’t that it is her uncle who is praising her since everybody agrees with him in some level...” 

Sawamura waited patiently for the commander finish the tobacco and continuing.

“Tell me Daichi, how does a soldier get in the special forces and in the Elites? What makes him or her differ from others?” 

The question was little strange Sawamura thought but he still answered it. "A soldier who is renowned usually gets promoted to the Elites by trainers and commanders. In the most cases they have praiseworthy papers, great experience on warzone and they cooperate with their teammates well. Why do you ask?”

“She wasn’t promoted here by any of his old trainers. Not even by his uncle.”

“Well with all those praises they may have sent her here to use her skills for - -” Daichi’s explanation was cut short when Ukai continued to read your files.

“ _\- - unsocial and rather hostile personality, lack of cooperation, shows no trust in others (including medics and superiors), with the German shepherd forms a double act made in hell (the dog is known to be capable of killing people), has endangered a couple of missions by acting her own, doesn’t admit her weaknesses - -_ ” Ukai was not surprised to see Sawamura to be taken back a little. Well you can’t judge a book by its cover. The best, or more like the worst, was yet to come. “The reason for her transportation from the Eagle Garden is described here with a few words: _‘We couldn’t handle her.’_ ” Ukai shut the file, and leaned on his arms. The air in the room had turned heavy. He sighed without raising his gaze from the file. 

“You probably understand what that means.”

“Saying that they couldn’t handle her is clearly a thread for us to try to handle her,” Sawamura felt anger grow inside him, his face twisted in irritation. Crow’s Nest was known from its strict training, you do or die trying. Everything based on teamwork – victory wasn’t claimed by acting alone like in Eagle Garden and you, a lone wolf, had been sent here of all places. "They want us to break her.”

There was much and more cruelty in the world but this went over Sawamura’s personal understanding of injustice. She was supposed to be one of them and they send her away only to be destroyed. He remembered how stressed and dim your (e/c) eyes had been. You acted tough but you clearly had felt betrayed. You knew why you were sent here.

“I won’t allow that to happen”, the captain’s dark eyes met the commander’s brown ones full of determination. “It won’t be easy but some way we will make her trust us. She will become one of us.”

Ukai had to smile, _she was here only a moment and has already effected on him this much_. “That is reassuring to hear, Captain.” _Hopefully she will be willing to take our help._

_Otherwise she won’t last._

* * *

After you had started to walk away with Sugawara, Iwaizumi was informed what had happened, and he was not pleased. “Terushima… when do you, the fucking idiot, learn to think before acting?!” His voice was threating and grumbling. Terushima trembled under the death stare of Iwaizumi Hajime, chills going up and down his spine. In that moment the fact that a huge dog almost ripped off his balls didn’t feel so bad after all. “Twenty laps. **Right. Now.** ” 

“Y-y-yes, sir!!” while Terushima literally ran for his life and others kept on combating against each other, Iwaizumi turned his gaze to follow your back. You were beautiful for sure, but what had caught his attention in you was a certain elegance in your posture and how you moved. You were confident. Something in him wanted to see more of it. 

And oh he would.


	2. Figure it out or let it be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have created a map for the series so the readers (and me lol) could keep up with the story better!  
> I'll put it on TUMBLR so go check it out :) nick: duuupuh

_You were running in dark. Shadows were everywhere, attacking, hurting. You did everything to push them away. Where were you running? Home?_

_“The enemy knows, (Name)…” familiar voice croaked. Shadows pushed you down on your knees forcefully and started to pull you down. Binding you. “…they are coming for you.” You fought back, got up and kept running. “He betrayed you all.” Despair twisted inside you._

_It felt like underwater, heavy, can’t breathe. “Just you and me, okay?” his sweet voice rang in your ears. There was a warm light ahead you. Press on. The closer you got the light the wilder the shadows turned. Arm grabbed your arm and you could hear familiar voice saying: “You will be alone there.” Uncle? Is he here? The light pulsed once. “You fool.” A pulse, again. You detached yourself and ran faster after the light. Closer. Closer. And when you almost reached it…_

_***BANG!*** _

_…burning pain went through your stomach, numbing, taking control over your body. Paralyzing you. Sweet familiar pain. Can’t breathe. Taste of blood, smell of gunpowder. Cold eyes, like daggers, looked down on you. His beautiful smile had turned grim. No._

_“He betrayed you all.” Terror. Shadows were surrounding you. Slowly embracing you with their freezing cold nails, frozen daggers. Despair._

_“You fool.”_

_“The enemy knows, (Name)…”_

_“Just you and me, okay?” the light flickered as the shadows were eating you. “You will be alone there.” No. You reached for the light and caught it. It turned blood red as you sank the knife in it. Knife? No no no._

_Another voice shouted, “Run!”_

_You twisted the knife. “…why.. d-did you… became so p-precious.” The light faded away in your hands and the shadows swallowed you. ”…they are coming for you.” Can’t breathe. No. ”Run!!” No!!!_

 

You woke up gasping in cold sweat. For a moment you felt lost in the dark room before remembering being in Crow’s Nest. You could feel the heartbeat in your throat. It wasn’t first time for you to have that nightmare but it terrified you all the same. Mashur was whined quietly to your panicked state right next to your bed. You rose up to sitting position and took a deep breath.

“Just a nightmare, buddy.” You pet the canine’s head, making him to wiggle its tail little. “You know my demons…” There was familiar pain on your stomach - you had this bad habit to grasp your scar whenever you got anxious. There was red nail marks all around the scar, an old bullet wound. 

It was quite early but you knew you wouldn’t fall asleep anymore so you decided to get ready for the day. Having a private room you didn’t need to worry about sneaking around. You dressed up and made your normal morning routines before heading out with Mashur for a run. 

Mashur galloped next to you the whole run, straying occasionally from you before appearing again back to your side. Air was cool but not so fresh what it had been in Eagle’s Garden. But then again that was expected – there was hardly anything living in this close to the mountains of Aouina – there was only a rather small looking forest in the area. Otherwise just mountains and dust. After an hour you noticed Rookies starting their morning routines so you decided to head back. Sugawara was just at your door when you arrived back. 

“Oh good morning! You sure have started your day in time!” Suga looked happily surprised. He even said ‘good morning’ to Mashur, who just fawned weirdly. “Did you two sleep well?” 

You hesitated. “Well enough, thank you for asking”, you mumbled as you opened the door for Mashur to get in. 

“First nights are always a bit burdensome… But it will get better!” 

You must have looked really tired for him saying that. 

“Mashur, go to bed. I come back later.” The German shepherd did as commanded and laid down before giving small woof at you. You nodded and shut the door. Together with the gray haired male you went to get some breakfast. The canteen was quite empty when you arrived, only small bunches of soldiers sitting here and there. 

As Sugawara was explaining your day’s schedule while you ate, two men in full black outfit appeared next to the table. Shorter one was the same man, Iwaizumi, you had met yesterday. The other male had dark, chocolate brown hair curled outwards, same colored eyes looking down on you curiously. He smiled happily.

“Suga-chan, why are you sitting alone with this beautiful girl? I’m getting jealous ~ “, the male sang and sat next to Sugawara while smiling at you sweetly. His sweetness made you furrow your browns unimpressed manner. He sure was attractive, you couldn’t deny it, but it didn’t mean his flirting would work on you just like that.

“R-right, I was planning to introduce you later but oh well, (Name), may I present to you the Elites: Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime!” you rose to shake Oikawa’s hand as you introduced yourself. 

“(Surname) (Name).”

“Nice to meet you, (Surname)-chan!” Oikawa smiled happily, “Let’s get along well!” He seemed to treasure your touch… he was just a way too gentle with the handshake for your taste. 

Iwaizumi was more reserved. “Nice to meet you again.” His voice was low, and he shook your hand firmly.

“You too…” He clearly hadn’t forgot the other day, which made you feel little troubled. Oikawa seemed to get truly shocked about the fact the two of you had already met.

“IWA-CHAN!! How do you know her?” He seemed to start pouting. Even stupid would have figured out that they were best friends by now. “Why do you hide something like that from me?” …you were about to start doubting something deeper too.

“Shut up, Asskawa!” 

“How RUDE!” 

_Are they even grown up men?_

“Please calm down!” Sugawara begged while lifting his hands up. At least they listened, glaring each other one last time before turning their focus on their breakfasts. Oikawa was chatty type, asking questions all the time and trying to get your attention without really succeeding though. You focused only to your meal, ignoring everything that happened around you before rising up and leaving, the vice-captain right after you.

After your leave Oikawa gave troubled look to his friend. “Iwa-chan has my charm lost its effect. She completely ignored me!” 

“Everybody would ignore you if you wouldn’t be so damn annoying.”

“What a friend you are… but she surely is mysterious. This can turn really interesting.” Oikawa said, a sly smile appearing on his face. And for once Iwaizumi had to agree with him.

* * *

The morning schedule with Suga didn’t differ much from those schedules you had followed in Eagle’s Garden: morning started almost always with running following with education, for example about ‘functional prevention of risks’ or ‘strategic planning’. After lunch it was time for shooting practice and since day was pretty the practice was held on the outdoor shooting range.

Shooting wasn’t really your master skill. Of course you hit right where you aimed but you got clumsier as the distance to target grew, and stress didn’t help your aiming at all. Pistols and small hand guns you managed quite well, beating an average person without difficulties. 

But then it was time for to use a rifle… 

First everybody shot five shots while standing. Targets were solid black circles on the white background. You hated how rifle (and almost all bigger guns) kick back after pulling the trigger. The recoil really hurt your shoulder, and it would always hurt even more a day after. Your first shot hit the outer most black ring from the left, next one second inner ring from the right. By the end your every shot had hit the target but none in the middle. Your shoulder was burning and it was time to shoot again five while laying down… unfortunately change of position didn’t really improve your score. 

You clicked your tongue before rising up to give room for the next shooter. There was intimating aura coming behind you, making chills go up your spine. A lean man with scowl on his face walked to your spot. His posture was stable and he shot and reloaded quickly, nothing seemed to disturb him.

“As expected, you got the full score Kageyama!” Sugawara said happily while writing down the results. The dark haired male didn’t seem satisfied and walked to Sugawara to see the results.

“Is any of them irregular? Did they hit exactly the same spot?” 

“W-well the third and fourth shot are slightly on the left but hit in the middle all the same!” Kageyama clicked his tongue and seemed displeased. “Kageyama you have to calm down!” An orange haired male appeared next to Sugawara to see Kageyama’s results and got all hyped about them.

“UAAH!! Kageyama, you got the full score again!! So cool!” he shouted in awe. Kageyama clearly couldn’t hold up praises well, getting all flustered and told his friend to shut up embarrassed. The smaller male’s brown eyes beamed in enthusiasm as he went to shoot. _Is he going to compete him?_ , you thought as you followed the man with your eyes while cleaning your rifle. He had already problems with loading his rifle, therefore you started to question his skills. _Correcting: Is he going to be alright?_

The short man took his posture, which seemed okay to you but when he shot the recoil threw the man on to the ground and catapulted the rifle from his hands far behind him. Everybody stopped and looked baffled at the orange haired man and the rifle on the ground. Soon the dead silence died as the soldiers started to laugh or snicker. Kageyama seemed to be more upset than amused.

“HINATA YOU IDIOT!!” For a moment it seemed like he wanted to strangle Hinata. The taller male ranted how he had directed him earlier, pointing up everything he had done wrong now. The smaller male was growing paler and smaller as Kageyama went on and on. Sugawara separated Kageyama from terrified Hinata.

“Kageyama, stop it! Hinata, are you hurt?” The smaller male assured to be okay and able to continue, but you could see that he was in pain. The rifle had brushed his cheek and shoulder quite roughly. Sugawara seemed to know it too by telling Hinata to take it easy. He instructed the orange haired male to take right posture and to hold rifle correctly. Meanwhile Kageyama turned his attention on you.

“Are you going to stay here?” he asked while glaring at you with his blue eyes, almost like trying to threat you. Sadly he wasn’t only one who knew how to glare icily. 

“Maybe I am”, you said while lifting your rifle on your shoulder from the strap. You didn’t break the eye contact when you asked, “It bothers you, doesn’t it?” The man straightened up while squinting his eyes and he bit his lips together, which only confirmed that the matter really bothered him. _Bullseye_. The fact you had guessed his thoughts so quickly frustrated Kageyama. 

“Just you know, I will be the one who becomes an Elite”, he said sharply, “And I won’t let some new soldier from Eagle Gardens step on my way and…!” 

He would had gone on if Sugawara wouldn’t had started to head back. Kageyama glanced you angrily as reminding you that he was serious before leaving. Suga looked rather surprised to notice that you had made your first contact with other soldier.

“It seems you met Kageyama. He is… one of the most talented Rookies we have here and has a part in the supportive team of the Elites”, Sugawara’s voice was slightly troubled when he talked about Kageyama, “He is a bit intimidating but - - ”

“Kageyamaaaa!!” Hinata run past you after his friend, he almost jumped over the tall male shouting something about a false start. They almost started to wrestle.

“…” 

Suga sighted deep and gave a small tired laugh. “It’s always like this with them. They are always competing and fighting, making huge fuss over everything, haha!” 

“Kageyama seemed to know about me”, you said blankly and gave Sugawara a small look. A drop of sweat appeared on his face as his expression turned troubled. 

“H-he didn’t threat you, did he? Kageyama has always been very determined to get in to the group of Elites, so he might have some issues on accepting you.” 

“I don’t really care… but yes, he did mention about his… determination.” 

Sugawara sighed again.

“I’m really sorry (Name)!” Sugawara clapped his hands together and bowed little, “He overheard me and Daichi talking about your arrival.” It still felt so weird to hear someone call you by your first name. Sugawara looked generally apologizing. It was so annoying that you just couldn’t get annoyed because of Sugawara’s pointless apologizing.

“Like I said I don’t care”, you said without making eye contact with Sugawara. Instead you stared the black haired male as he was trying to catch clearly quicker Hinata. “…and I don’t need his or anyone else’s acceptance either.” 

_That didn’t sound good_ , Sugawara thought alerted. But shooting had stopped, which meant the practice was closing its end. After lining up Sugawara let you all go. There was free time before dinner so you headed back to the barracks with the vice-captain. 

It was time for you to meet the powerhouses.

* * *

Sugawara had requested that Elites would assemble in the Elite’s lounge. It was equipped with a kitchen, a dining table for eight to ten people plus there was a couple of sofas and armchairs around a simple coffee table. There was a huge notice board on the wall in front of sofas. On the notice board was a to-do list for eight people, plus calendar, some posters and a map of Merene. The most of the duties in the to-do list were Rookie trainings but there were some duties written as abbreviations.

The lounge was located between your room and an aisle where rooms of the Elites were situated. It seemed that your room had been their former captain’s room but after his death it had remained vacant. Usually the captain lived in that room but Daichi gladly stayed with Sugawara so you, the only female soldier of the base, could have your own pace. 

You walked long hallway which connected Rookies and Elites’ barracks, towards the planned meeting place with the vice-captain. As you closed the lounge are you could hear various voices, some of them you even recognized. As you walked closer you could hear parts from their conversations. Air was filled with smell of coffee.

“..c’mon Oika..” low voice said.

“..ey hey you can’t be that crue…” someone said loudly demanding.

“..I won’t t…u have to see her yourse..” Oikawa said before his voice drowned in wailing.

“..Pfff…did you get dumped?” the first, low voiced man said amused.

“…never have gotten dumped! She wa… ust shy- - ” Laughing covered Oikawa’s voice. “- - SHUT UP!!”

“..hat if she isn’t an eye candy?” the loudest person said. You furrowed your brows while your upper lip twitched slightly in annoyance. You started to doubt if it was really necessary for you to meet these dorks. 

“Is that really what you only care about?” Calm, rather monotonous voice said. At this point Sugawara gave loud cough to inform you had arrived – or more like warning them from continuing the conversation any further. 

The speaking stopped. Then many curious faces leaned to see your coming. Sawamura came to you when you finally arrived in the lounge. Iwaizumi was sitting at the dinner table and Oikawa got up from sofa to see you. There was three Elites, who you hadn’t met yet, sitting around the coffee table. 

“Nice to meet you again. Have you settled down well?” Sawamura’s voice was warmer than you remembered. Had something changed?

“Yes, sir. Mashur just has hard time to stay still.” Sawamura raised his eye brown, which forced you to continue, “Er… there is just so much to see and explore. For him.” This made Sawamura huff amused since you had sounded like you had seen everything already. But it was good to know you had things okay.

“Well, let’s hope he can settle down soon too”, Sawamura said with satisfied smile on his face. 

Oikawa didn’t seem to have patience to wait and whined, “Daichiii ~ “, as a sign to move on. Sawamura sighed.

“They have waited the whole morning to meet you. Are you ready?” You just nodded. There really wasn’t option to decline, was there? Sawamura ordered the Elites to make a row and then introduced you to them.

“This is (Surname) (Name), she came from Eagle’s Garden yesterday to join our team. (Surname) will be following our duties to reach the title of an Elite so I expect you to guide her wisely.”, Sawamura sounded really serious and mature. Still two men had trouble with keeping their attention in their captain: the cat-eyed man stared at you like a prey, while the owlish man looked hyper excited, smiling stupidly and twitching all the time. “(Surname), would you tell something about yourself?” 

“Yes, sir”, you said and took a step forward, facing the men in front of you. “I got interested in studying first-aid and cultures in high school and joined army immediately after graduating. After a year in army I joined the Allied Guards and I have fought under their name for about five years now.” You hated talking about yourself so you kept things short and simple. After giving a small nod, Sawamura continued.

“(Surname) is also trained paramedic, so remember to turn on her when needed.”

Elites found this really exciting – they had now their own medic in the team. After this it was time for them to introduce themselves. The first one was Sugawara as a proper example.

“Sugawara Koushi, I’m the vice-captain of the Elites and the management team, plus I assist the sniper team in need”, the gray haired man smiled sweetly like an old friend. 

“Kuroo Tetsurou, the commando and mobility team”, the man with messy black hair announced. His voice was recognizable – he had wondered earlier if you had dumbed Oikawa. His eyes made you feel troubled. Giving small nod you turned to look at the twitching golden eyed man right next to him.

“B-Bokuto Koutarou, mainly in the commando team.” So he was the loudest one. Remembering his wondering about your being ‘an eye candy’ made you squint your eyes ill mannered, which made Bokuto gulp. 

“Akaashi Keiji, I’m with the sniper and negotiation team.” Akaashi seemed to be only Elite after Sugawara who didn’t make you feel uneasy. He seemed to be really composed, and he didn’t have any threating aura around him. You gave him a small nod before turning to men you already knew.

”Iwaizumi Hajime, the tactics and mobility.” It was third time for you to meet him. But his friend didn’t seem to mind meeting you again.

”Oikawa Tooru~, in the teams of sniper and tactics”, he sang happily, a sweet smile on his face.

“Nice to meet you all.” You eyed them one more time, memorizing their faces and names. 

“Let’s get along!” they shouted and bowed little at the same time when Daichi gave them signal. Even after the formalities there was still little time before the dinner so everybody relaxed. The Elites returned to drink their coffees, while Oikawa turned to you. He wanted to be gentleman after all.

“(Name)-chan, do you want coffee? I can make you some!” You weren’t really thrilled about him calling you by your first name… even with over-sweet ending. 

“No, thank you”, your voice was little sour. 

“Eeeh ~? Don’t you like coffee, (Name)-chan?” his voice waved disappointed. Was he playing with you? It seemed so at least, he was repeating your name and trying to act “cute”.

“I don’t drink coffee before meal”, you lied, trying to hide your annoyance. Since there was time you thought to feed your dog. After excusing you went to your room, shutting the door behind you. The door clicked locked. Kuroo and Bokuto found it disturbing that you left so quickly, they didn’t manage even speak with you! Sugawara assured them that they would have plenty time to get know with you – you would become an Elite after all.

“Still, what’s up with her?” Bokuto half whined, “I thought her to be a bit more… err…”

“…easygoing?” Kuroo filled his sentence.

“Exactly! Man, you sure know me well!”

“You welcome bro,” Kuroo said smirking before turning more serious, “But tell me Daichi, is she just shy or does she just avoid conversations?” Captain just sighed troubled, 

“Erm, you know I’m not allowed to talk about these matters, but you should understand that she wasn’t handled very well in Eagle Gardens. It may have something to do her withdrawnness.” 

Oikawa spat, “That twisted place does good to nobody.” 

“Her withdrawnness could also be reason why she didn’t cope in Eagle Gardens”, Kuroo narrowed his eyes when looking at captain. “I just wonder which way it is.” Daichi gulped little, fighting not to look beaten. _Kuroo surely sniffs things out quickly…_

“Anyhow I wish you won’t pursue her too much”, Daichi said serious, “(Surname) surely has her reasons.”

“What if she turns out to stay that way?” Bokuto asked while tilting his head and pursing his lips. 

Suddenly they heard door to slam and you were back. Everybody froze – had you heard them gossiping about you? You raised an eye brown due to their petrified forms. Sawamura and Oikawa were biting their lips sealed, while Iwaizumi, Akaashi and Suga sipped their coffees troubled. Bokuto and Kuroo were completely avoiding eye contact with you. _Were they talking about me?_

Suga was first to break the silence.

“H-hey, is everything okay?” His voice trembled and he wished you hadn’t noticed it. Awkwardness was almost visible in the room, so you decided just to play along.

“Everything is fine… but, aren’t we… um… supposed to get going? …or something?” You asked while directing your gaze at the clock and back at Suga. The gray haired male checked the clock and shouted in astonishment.

“Ah! It is time for dinner!” he rose up, “Let’s go guys!” Everybody sat frozen for a moment before gulping down their coffees in one go, and followed the vice-captain and you to the canteen. 

There was only a round table in the dining hall left empty. It was slightly separated the others, closer stations where the dishes were returned and the exit. Elites went accustomed to sit around the round table. As you were going to walk past them Daichi and Suga stopped you and asked you to join them… and you did as you were told, though you got an icy glare from Kageyama who sat little further away. But did you care? Nope.

Once again conversation turned to you. Kuroo, Oikawa and Bokuto were curious about you, asking everything from your childhood to your arrival to Crow’s Nest. Still you kept your answers short, if you even answered. Sugawara tried to calm others down without succeeding. The air felt pressing and you just wanted to leave. 

As you were getting up, Oikawa started whining.

“Eeh, you are already going (Name)-chan?” to which you just nodded and muttered a small ‘yes’. Everybody just stared you in silence, as if waiting for explanation. Did you really need to explain every choice you made? “You hardly ate anything!” Oikawa continued, but you ignored this.

“Sugawara, is there something I can participate in later?” 

“I d-don’t think so…” Sugawara hesitated. He didn’t want you to be alone whole evening. 

“If you want to come listen lecture about what cultural differences foreign soldiers meet in Merene, feel free to join us in library after an hour”, Akaashi said without putting too much weight on the matter. Sugawara gave him relieved smile while certain trio was surprised about him to pay attention on you. 

“…I will think about it”, you said nodding before leaving. As the door shut Bokuto turned at his black haired friend. 

“Akaashi, you keep lectures?!” he shouted shocked, almost hurt for not knowing. 

Akaashi grimaced, “Bokuto, I have kept that lecture almost a year now…”

“You have?! I thought you just liked to read.” 

“But oh my Keiji-kun… to think you would make moves on her this early. You have genuinely surprised me”, Oikawa said with sneaky voice. This caused Sugawara give uncomfortable laugh, He just have to do this to everyone, does he?

“I’m not doing moves on her, Oikawa-san, and you are hardly ever ‘genuine’.” Iwaizumi sneered little. Oikawa pouted: he had hoped to finally see Akaashi Keiji flustered. “(Surname)-san said being interested in cultures, so I just thought she might like to come.” 

It took while from everyone to remember that you really had said to be interested in cultures in high school. After eating everybody, except Akaashi who had to get prepared for the lecture, went back to the lounge hoping to meet you there. They didn’t, when they arrived lounge since you had already went to train with Mashur.

* * *

In the evening only Kuroo and Iwaizumi were in attendance when you arrived back to barracks. They were discussing intently around the dining table about some close-combat methods they had seen in television. As you walked past them to get water for you and Mashur, they fell silent. It didn’t come as a shock to you, in Eagle Gardens it had become a common thing. 

“Good evening to you too, (Surname)”, you heard Kuroo say behind you. He looked over his shoulder at you while leaning his chin on his palm. Iwaizumi had remotely troubled look on his face. Seemed like you weren’t the only one who felt difficult in Kuroo’s presence. 

“Good evening”, you still answered before turning to return your room.

“Hoo? You are already leaving...” Kuroo said in a disappointed but slightly playful way. “I’ve been wondering if you ever will sit down to chat with us, (Surname).” He squinted his eyes while smiling little and waited your reaction. Iwaizumi leaned back, waiting too. 

Furrowing you turned away tired. “It remains to be seen”.

The small smile on Kuroo face washed away as the door shut. He straightened his back as he filled his lungs with air for a sigh, and turned back to Iwaizumi. 

“I know it is (Name)’s first day here, but it still frustrates me.”

“Sugawara thinks she just needs more time.”

“He can be wrong too.”

“…we should still trust Sugawara. It’s not always easy to settle down.” Iwaizumi gave Kuroo short solemn look, which caused Kuroo purse his lips and look away. He knew Iwaizumi was right – there was always someone who remained anxious even though the base was their “home”. Even Kuroo had a friend who probably still hadn’t settled down though they had arrived Crow’s Nest together more than three years ago. 

Iwaizumi called his day finished and headed to his and Oikawa’s room. It seemed to be good choice – the mission Sawamura and other’s had been called for wasn’t he simplest one, which meant they weren’t coming back soon. Some politician had addressed an audience in Lanchor about some earlier attacks, vowing to catch the criminals… and had almost got assassinated after the speech. 

And now that criminal had the Elites after him. 

Poor man.

* * *

“I give up! I give up!” Tall man with spiked brown hair shouted as you were binding him down to the ground. His whole arm was under your control while you pressed his head down with your leg. Your weight was on his upper body which made sure he wouldn’t move anywhere without your leave. A shadow stopped at you and Iwaizumi gave you permission to release the man. You might not shine in shooting practices but in close hand combat average Rookies were no match for you. 

“Inuoka, use your height more for your behalf”, Iwaizumi said to the man who was rubbing his wrist in pained expression. First Inuoka had thought to be lucky to be pair with a beautiful woman but he was quickly changing his mind. He was troubled about that your expression hadn’t changed even once during the match. Like the out-come of their match had been visible to you from the start.

“I k-know she has weaker build than me but she is just freaking quick! I do my all and she has barely broke sweating.” Inuoka sighed frustrated. Still he had never seen a girl look as elegant as you. Even now when you were sipping water while a single sweat drop run down your neck made you look so hot. “(Name) is so… mysterious.”

Iwaizumi found this accurate. _She still haven’t told us about herself…_ You had arrived about a week ago and you still avoided conversations about you. Well you did take a part in conversations when the subject was familiar to you:

 

Like once Bokuto had been wondering why some Merenese children called him ‘uncle’ while they called some others ‘father’. Akaashi had explained that it was common in their culture children called men and women who were older than them ‘uncles’ and ‘aunties’. He wasn’t sure how it worked with calling ‘father’. Of course their own father would be called ‘father’, but why did they call others too… That was when you had decided to lighten them.

_“Children just follow adults lead… if somebody who they think as ‘father’ doesn’t call you ‘brother’ they will call you ‘uncle’. It is the safest way. ’Fathers’ are probably some their relatives or people who they or their family members highly respect.”_

_“Hoo! That makes sense!”_ Bokuto had shouted and hit his fist to his palm.

 _“But when are you supposed to call somebody your ‘brother’ and when ‘uncle’?”_ Oikawa had asked, and since Akaashi had waited for you to answer you had educated them the basic things.

It was common in Merene that if a person was old enough to be your own parent you called them ‘uncle’ or ‘auntie’. The seniors should always be called ‘fathers’ and ‘mothers’ unless they never had children. Being called ‘brother’ or ‘sister’ meant that you were on the same level, there was a bond between the talkers. But for example mistaking calling someone ‘brother’ when it wasn’t advisable could get you shunned from the community.

 _“Ack! That is horrible!”_ Oikawa had said shaken.

 _“Hey hey what it means when a child called me ‘brother’! Is it special thing?”_ Bokuto’s voice had been full of excitement. Talking with you had felt nice, and there had been nobody in the room disagreeing with that.

But Akaashi and you had seemed to get little troubled, small sweat drops appearing on your temples.

 _“…Bokuto, it means you are on the same level with the child.”_ Akaashi had said slowly, but still Bokuto didn’t seem to understand if being on the same level was a bad or good thing. Oikawa again had figured it out and started laughing. 

_“Bhaha Bokuto it means you are in the deepest bottom!”_

Bokuto had gotten shocked and had needed Akaashi to verify that it meant the boy had probably messed with him. The owlish man had seemed to get super depressed in no time, small tears appearing in his eyes as he had wilted in your eyes. But there had been other possibility too, and it surely hadn’t hurt to say aloud:

 _“Of course if he tries to connect you like foreigners do, he might really think you as his brother… umm, like you connect with Kuroo. In that case you should be probably honored.”_ This had totally boosted Bokuto, making him getting hyper excited, back to “normal” self. Oikawa had got more and more confused and started whining.

 _“(Name)-chaan… that is so complicated! How can you learn all those little twists?”_ Iwaizumi had been pretty surprised to see Oikawa genuinely interested about the matter – the friend had a bad habit of faking his emotions.

_“It is not impossible… you just have to learn to read the hints. Usually Mereneses give you those hints themselves, you just need to learn to see them.”_

_“Where have you learned all this?”_ Oikawa had asked without thinking. 

_“…”_

 

And like that you would fall silent. If conversation ever turned to you, your (e/c) eyes would dim little. After that you would focus on whatever you were doing or just walk away. Something was stopping you to go further than chit chatting… never going deeper, never ever to reach your past. Though you had been mentioned about this it seemed like you didn’t care… at least nothing ever changed.

Personally Iwaizumi wouldn’t pay attention in the matter but he also suffered from your behavior – Oikawa wouldn’t shut up after you ignored him, Sugawara seemed really stressed about you and well when Sugawara was stressed nobody could really calm down. But it was Kuroo who troubled Iwaizumi the most: the rooster head had started to give a new kind of aura of irritation, which never meant good. _He may yet lose his temper._

 

A day earlier everybody had gathered at the same time to the lounge to prepare for the night. Kuroo had sat in an arm chair staring at you in silence as you were getting cold water from the fridge again. Your huge dog had followed you in the lounge which had caused Bokuto and Oikawa start to fuss around the dog. The shepherd had even went and sniffed Oikawa’s hand which had made the man rather euphoric.

Suddenly Kuroo had asked in what kind of missions you had been in past. Oikawa, Bokuto and Daichi had looked at him murderous, thinking the same thought _“Don’t ruin this now Kuroo..!”_ , but to everybody you had answered.

_“Pretty basic ones: giving first-aid, taking over buildings, solving hostage matters - - ”_

“ _You must have done something more special to be promoted to the Elites_ ”, Kuroo had interrupted you. This had made you stop and stare at the man. Iwaizumi had noticed you to squint your eyes even slightly. He had figured out you to be on your guard, even your dog had visibly tensed up. “ _Why did you leave Eagle’s Garden in first place? Usually people aim to get there - -_ ”

“ _Not everyone, Kuroo._ ” Oikawa had said angrily.

“ _\- - except Oikawa and Iwaizumi there._ ” The atmosphere had gotten troubled, and though everyone had tried not to put pressure on you by waiting for the answer they couldn’t help themselves. One by one they had glanced at you and waited in silence. Daichi had kept his eyes on Kuroo, displeased expression on his face. Kuroo had still ignored it and raised eyebrow when you had remained silent, “ _Well… what is it?_ ” 

You had sighed and turned to face Kuroo. It had felt promising… before they had seen your cold, slightly mocking expression. “ _It is none of your business._ ” Your voice had been full of irritation. Giving a small whistle you had left the lounge your companion right on your heels. Even when your room’s door had shut and clicked locked, the lounge had remained silent. Daichi broke the silent first.

“ _You just had to do that?_ ” He hadn’t been pleased. 

Kuroo clicked his tongue, “ _Like I was the only one who wanted to know._ ” The black bed-haired male had rose and left, leaving everyone troubled before captain called everyone to go to bed. 

But damage had already been done.

 

As you were jogging with the Rookies and Iwaizumi you couldn’t be thinking the other day. It made you irritated, _That Kuroo, why does he have to be so persistent?!_ It wasn’t only Kuroo though, everybody were clearly waiting for answers even though they weren’t announcing it as Kuroo was. I hadn’t slipped your notice that they had glanced at you, _every one of them._

Iwaizumi had noticed that you weren’t pleased, you had been rather hostile towards Rookies today - Inuoka had to go to infirmary to show his wrist in the close end of the close combat training. The soldier who had replaced him, Kindaichi, hadn’t been any luckier – his leg was already started to bruise as he limbed with the group. You hadn’t made any contact towards Elites either: during lunch you had just ate and left, taking in only orders. Iwaizumi found this somehow troubling… it felt like you weren’t proceeding at all.

It was past mid-day, only a couple lesson left before the free time. The commander was giving a lecture himself: it was about leading a group on warzone, decision making in hurry and stressed, and how important teamwork would be in that situation. Otherwise interesting lecture but you didn’t know how to feel about it. You weren’t a person to lead. You were just taking orders.

“ _You will be alone there_ ”, you heard your uncle’s husky voice in your head. You bit your lip. 

After the lecture ended commander asked you to stay with him, there was a smaller man with glasses who also had stayed. The man looked rather modest: black messy hair, brown eyes… nothing in him really stood out. 

“(Surname), this is Dr. Takeda. He is the head of the medical treatment in our base”, Ukai told as he introduced you two. His hand shake was really gentle, and for a moment you were afraid of crushing his hand. The way you loosened your grip during the handshake made the doctor smile. 

“It is really nice to meet you at last (Surname)!” His voice was gentle.

“Nice to meet you too, doctor.” 

“So we were discussing about your future use and working and Dr. Takeda suggested that you should do a list about equipment you might need as a paramedic. Err… something what you find useful on the battle field”, Ukai explained and Dr. Takeda nodded supportive.

“Yes, after doing the list we could look it through together and make needed orders. Of course I will see and educate you to use some tools if you want! I’m happy to help comrade paramedic anytime!” It was hard to resist such an opportunity, and so it had been decided. 

Ukai had recommended you to get this matter over with soon so you could return to your duties. You were informed that the files about first-aid equipment would be in the storage room, so you headed there since you had time before the next lecture.

\- - -

The storage room wasn’t too big but it was full of different cabinets and lockers which made it look like a mace. 

“It should be right ahead and on the left…” you muttered. The cabinet was right where it was described to be but the problem was where the files were located – right on the top, out of your reach. After scanning the room you realized there was no chair or anything you could climb on. _Just great._

There was no way you would go look for a chair so you just stubbornly decided to reach them. Even on your tip toes you could barely touch the lower file. But hey you had managed to touch it! After trying and trying again you had actually succeed to move the file closer the edge.

“You know, you could ask help. We don’t mind helping you.” 

A tall male had appeared to observe your effort. Kuroo leaned against the door frame his hands folded on his chest. His cat like eyes made you feel weird pressure, there was something you didn’t like. Something in him was hard to figure out. You furrowed. 

“Thank you sir, but I will manage”, you said while turning back to your mission. But before you could even reach for the filter again you heard Kuroo’s low voice coming right behind you. 

“Tell me…” you could feel his warm breath on your neck. _When did he…?!_ you thought when you whirled around. His eyes were serious. “Why is it so hard for you to trust us?”

You froze. 

Kuroo’s gaze made you feel uneasy: it was hard to look at him in the eyes, so you looked away. His presence was pressuring, you swallowed hard which made shivers go up and down your body. This man was dangerous. Really dangerous. Kuroo was well aware of your uneasiness and since you made no movement to answer his question he pressed on.

“By now you should have already understood that you are safe here. (Surname), everybody inside the gates are your allies, on the same side with you.” Kuroo hoped you would say something, anything, but you just stood there quiet, avoiding his eyes. Stubbornly. A part in you wanted to believe in his words but you just couldn’t. Kuroo was losing his temper. 

“Nobody here is your enemy, but, but when we head out and be **on the enemies’ side** we have to be able to trust you. A-and how do you expect us to depend our lives on to **your** hands when we **can’t even have a normal conversation** , and we know only **_rumors_** about you?!” Kuroo’s voice got louder and louder until he was almost shouting. Kuroo knew he was stepping over the lines Daichi had gave him but not knowing was killing him inside.

“ **WHAT are you SO AFRAID OF?!** ” his voice echoed in the storage room and in the hall way, getting attention of outsiders. 

_Betrayal… and for my heart_ , you found yourself thinking without saying it aloud. Kuroo had slammed his hands on the walls of the cabinets behind you trapping you between his arms. You stood there stiff, not knowing what to do or even what to feel. _Why must him…?_

You were interrupted as a short person with half long blonde hair with black rooting appeared at the door. He seemed to get anxious when he realized the situation you were in. His gaze moved on the floor before turning back to you two and then moved to look down.

“Um, we should go Kuro”, he said quietly without making an eye contact. Kuroo glanced his friend and sighed. He seemed to calm down slightly. Sadly you didn’t. 

Suddenly Kuroo leaned at you, his chest pressing you against the shelves of the cabinet. Panic was building in you and just when you were about to act he backed away. A rather heavy and flat object were placed on your head, swaying, you automatically crabbed it to prevent it from falling. You only saw Kuroo walking away from you. 

“Sorry Kenma. Let’s go.” The smaller man glanced you quietly before going after Kuroo. Even though his face was rather blank, there was sorry in his eyes. To your surprise you had those two red files, which you had hard time to reach, in your hands. 

It made no sense, _why would he…_ but since you had to hurry you decided not to waste time for the matter. 

Your heart was drumming in your ears.

* * *

At some point Kuroo stopped walking. “Why are you still following me, Kenma?” He glanced his friend over his shoulder. Kenma avoided his eyes and fidgeted little. “What’s the matter? I already left her be.”

“Why… are you so troubled about her?”

“Please don’t answer my questions with a question…” Kuroo frowned, he knew he couldn’t hide things from Kenma. He always found out what was up. They had been together for so long time after all. Kuroo sighed, while collecting his thoughts. “I don’t really know. Like… I hate it how everybody sees that she isn’t okay but do nothing. And all this hiding! I hate it! (Name) has potential but she doesn’t use it so… erm…”

“…you want to force her to open up and use her abilities.” Kenma finished the sentence for him. It sounded harsher than Kuroo had thought. But once again Kenma knew… “This seems a bit familiar.” 

Kuroo gulped, “Haha… really? How is that?” 

Kenma glared at him. Kenma had suffered almost the same treating you were suffering right now in the past. Kuroo had basically forced him to find a thing in the army he was good at so he could stay by Kuroo’s side. Surprisingly there had been something in which he was a master: coding, hacking and other things that needed technologic understanding. But it was still hard for Kenma to fit in. He just couldn’t feel relaxed, so he somehow understood you.

“Maybe you should just let her be.”

Kuroo sighed, “Just tell me one reason - - ”

“It hurts.” Kenma stared at Kuroo serious, “Ripping old wounds open just… hurts.” Kuroo was taken back. _Old wounds?_ Kenma had this ability to create the profile of the person and figure out something that others just don’t see right away. _She has wounds..?_

Kenma furrowed his brows like he knew what Kuroo just thought. “Remember I warned you. I won’t listen your whining later on”, Kenma muttered as he walked past him. 

Kuroo grinned little as he watched his friend go. 

_Damn, he already knows I’m not backing away…_


	3. Hands that don't tremble

After two weeks, you had fully accustomed to the schedules in Crow’s Nest. Basically, you just followed the Elites during the day - and helped them if it was needed - but you still made the same tests and practices as Rookies. Sometimes an Elite needed to hurry for a mission during a practice, some other of the Elites or a Rookie would take over and end the practice. For now, you hadn’t needed to replace anyone but Daichi had suggested you to try it some time. You had just got troubled by it.

You also helped Dr. Takeda whenever he needed you. Working with him was interesting since he had so much knowledge: he taught you how to use some first aid equipment, told his own experiences as a medic and showed you some really handy tricks for tricky situations. 

The first real test that you really had to accomplish had been the Cooper test. Since you ran with Mashur every day AND also participated in the running with Rookies you faced no problems during the test. You got on the first place, Hinata and Kageyama right on your heels. Mashur had also passed the behavioral test: whatever they had tried to make Mashur to lose his temper or get intimidated, your canine had just sat still quietly, not caring. Well, dogs are like their owners after all. 

 

After a morning run and the breakfast with Rookies and Bokuto you headed to the sport field for the warming gymnastic exercises for the coming mobility test. There was a two-kilometers-long obstacle course, full of climbs and creeps, zigzags and jumps for testing your mobility, speed and endurance. Only time mattered.

Since the course was pretty wide, three soldiers could participate at the same time. As you waited for your turn on the starting line a familiar orange haired man appeared to your side. Hinata and you turned at the same time to look each other. 

“GUWAAH!!” Hinata shouted surprised and stepped back a couple of steps. 

You blinked startled, _what was that reaction just now?_ He turned to look around worried, before returning his attention on you. He was all fidgety. 

“H-hey (Surname)! Y-you are here too!” 

“Well, yes. Like everyone else…” you answered a little confused of what was going on. Hinata was acting weird. _Is he sick?_ “Are you… alright?” 

Hinata turned to look at you tensed, “I-I’m okay, t-thank you! But I think I n-need to go n-now.” _Before he finds us._ “H-haha! Byebye!” But his leaving was stopped as a taller male gripped him from the neck of his shirt and lifted him in air.

“Where were you going?” Kageyama asked, staring his friend suspiciously. Hinata turned pale when he recognized Kageyama’s voice. “You are getting all nervous again, aren’t you?” 

“Ahahaha Kageyama… I was just about to go to look for you. B-but now I found you so let’s just - -” Kageyama let Hinata down during his stuttering. “- - go..?” Kageyama had noticed you. Well you had noticed him too. The air between you tensed immediately which made Hinata panic. 

_No no no, you were not supposed to meet!_

Hinata was really aware of how much Kageyama despised you - if someone even said your name aloud near the young sniper, Kageyama would glare the person irritatedly, murderously even. And well, Hinata had also heard that you gave no mercy for those who you didn’t come along with. And now he was there, between two predators who just wanted to get rid of each other. No good.

“So you are still here?” Kageyama said grimly. 

“Sorry to disappoint you”, you answered poisonously. This made Kageyama click his tongue and glare at you. 

Hinata trembled, _this is no good!_

Hinata started pushing Kageyama away, “W-well then, w-we need to go to g-get our places and…” 

“NEXT ONES!” Bokuto shouted. You and Kageyama and Hinata were standing on the line together. You stepped at the line, and glanced Kageyama sharply as a challenge. _Let’s see what you got._ Kageyama clicked his teeth annoyed and pushed Hinata towards the line while glaring at you. Hinata whimpered as he took his place between you two. “GET SET!”

“GO!”

You sprinted and got the clear lead. Bokuto watched in awe how quickly you had reacted, leaving the duo immediately behind you. But Kageyama and Hinata ran to your side after third obstacle. They were arguing again. In the half way Kageyama and Hinata pushed past you, tiring themselves with their own personal duels. It seemed that Kageyama had already forgotten you since he was glaring only at Hinata now. You followed their going secretly, staying close but not too close to threaten them. 

When it was time for the last zigzag running before the final climb to the finishing line you picked up speed. During the zigzag you caught the both of them and during the run to the wall you went past them. When you finished the course the two males just got down the wall. Kageyama won Hinata by milliseconds. As they were huffing Bokuto called you to help him with taking up the scores. 

While he was catching his breath, Kageyama watched annoyed as you jogged to Bokuto.

“Damn it!”, he suddenly shouted and slammed his fist against the ground making unprepared Hinata jump up. Kageyama felt so angry and frustrated.

“W-why are you damning so loudly? That was 18th win to you and 19th lost to me this month!”

“I’m not damning that!” Kageyama shouted before turning his focus on you again, “I lost to her! And she didn’t even try her hardest!” While Kageyama was fighting to catch his breath, you were already in full action with helping Bokuto. 

_Damn it! I underestimated her!_

 

After the results were collected it was time for the lunch. Sugawara, Akaashi and Iwaizumi were already eating when you arrived with Bokuto. 

“(Name) passed the mobility test fair and square!” Bokuto announced before even sitting down. “She even helped me after the test!” 

You sighed, “That is just because you asked me to help…” 

“Congratulations (Name)!” Sugawara smiled, and after others had congratulated they started to memoir their own mobility tests. Soon Oikawa and Kuroo arrived to the canteen together, wondering what the fuss was around you. 

“What has happened ~ ?”, Oikawa asked as he was sitting down with Kuroo. The tall black haired man glanced at you an eye brow raised up. The gesture was enough to make you feel uncomfortable. 

“(Name) passed the mobility test, and was the first one in the scores!” Sugawara answered proudly before Bokuto would start to spit food out his mouth to answer.

“Really!? Congratulations (Name)-chan ~!” Oikawa sang happily. “How about the freak duo?” 

“They lost to her fair and square. They went ahead, forgetting (Name) and when the time was right she just ran past them. Boom! So brilliant!” Bokuto laughed excited before showing more food in his mouth. Kuroo sneered to this. This didn’t slip your notice. You got up and prepared to leave, _I’m not going to hear his snarling…_

“But (Name)-chan I just got here! I would have wanted to hear every twist…” Oikawa said while pouting.

“I have to take Mashur out”, you explained, “and Bokuto knows those… twists… too.” 

Everyone watched you go. They felt troubled – you clearly were pushing them away. You were so tensed. Kuroo kept his eyes on you until you vanished from his sight. He could only feel annoyed.

* * *

Even though you didn’t feel tired you abstained from jogging with Mashur. There was still practices left… and you didn’t want to hear Kuroo’s snarling about how you still had _stamina_ after such a _wonderful_ results in the test. You made yourself irritated by only thinking about him. 

Mashur jogged ahead of you and suddenly sat down in front of you. You stopped and just stared the canine before he gave small woof to you. ‘ _Stop worrying_ ’, he seemed to tell you, ‘ _Your stress is making me feel uncomfortable!_ ’. 

You sneered little, “Sorry, let’s go back then.” and Mashur galloped in front of you back to the barracks. _I can’t let this bother me. Just concentrate on the practice._

And soon it was time for the last practice of the day: a hand to hand combat training with Iwaizumi while Sugawara was observing and writing up the results. Thanks to your previous hostility during the training, Iwaizumi had come up a new strategy. This time the Elite had chosen you more difficult opponents: the first one was this almost two-meter-tall Lev Haiba.

His green eyes shined excitement when you faced him. Lev had only heard about you from his comrades and seen you a couple of times during practices. And now you were there, right in front of him. _Waah, (Name) is even prettier up close!_ You observed the man cautiously as you flexed. 

Iwaizumi gave a signal to start the combat. 

You noticed immediately that reaching Lev was hard since he was quite fast and with his long legs he managed to back away even faster… in other words he also reached you in seconds. You felt really annoyed, since you had to work a bit harder to survive. 

As you dodged Lev once again you glanced at Iwaizumi, _This was his arrangement, wasn’t it..?_ The Elite first acted like he had no glue of what was happening but he smiled little. _I knew it…_

Only when Lev managed to grip your shoulders you realized how horrible match you were – the man’s arms were longer than your legs which meant that you couldn’t even kick him. You could not reach him. You were trapped. _Freaking tentacles!_ Thanks to his muscle power you couldn’t even just drop down and kick his feet.

“Haha, I got you! Wow you are so short! Your legs can’t even reach me!” 

Lev laughed amused as he observed you from the safe distance. You got dumbfounded. Was this man mocking you? To your face? A vein popped up on your temple and your upper lip started to twitch from annoyance. 

_This fucker…_

“Haha, what can you do now?”

His laugh got others attention. Those who managed, watched the match troubled - they would never laugh at you. The Rookies knew what had happened to Inuoka and Kindaichi when you had had “a bad day” during a practice, and now that idiotic Lev had gone and mocked you. 

Yaku watched his friend’s actions unimpressed, “He should stop messing around with her.” Inuoka next to him just gulped before nodding furiously. He watched in horror as Lev lifted you up from your shoulders like it was nothing. From afar it looked like he had just picked up some cat. Air around you had turned grim. 

“Waah, you are so light too!” He said surprised as he looked up at you. “Haha, so now… should I carry you to Iwaizumi or - -?” 

Lev’s amusement came to end when he felt a death aura coming from you. You looked down at him venomously, before hitting your knee to his elbow’s joint. Lev still refused to let go of you. 

“That isn’t eno - -” 

But the hit had forced his elbow to bend, bringing you slightly closer to his body. You took quickly grip on his t-shirt’s sleeves, twisted you lower body up and brought your shoes’ soles straight to Lev’s face. The impact made his nostril bleed and a thousand stars appear in his vision, he dropped you down. Right when you touched the ground you closed the space between you. Lev panicked and tried to catch you again, but you gripped his right arm, slipped behind him and locked the arm behind his back. You forced him on his knees by twisting his arm, making the man shout in pain. 

“Gwaah!! I’m sorry I’m sorry I was just playing around!”, he cried. Everyone had stopped their matches and watched the two of you in horror. Yaku stared you in awe, that move was just brilliant!

“That’s the worst mistake you can make with me”, there was no empathy in your voice. No humanity. Your grip wasn’t relenting at all. Lev was about to panic.

“Let him go, (Surname).”

You turned to look at Iwaizumi who had appear behind you. You hadn’t heard his coming… the Elites seemed to be masters of sneaking. You looked down at the silver haired male before spitting and letting go of his arm. After Iwaizumi had advised Lev to stop his nose from bleeding before continuing the practice you walked to him while sipping water. Iwaizumi found this surprising, you never really approached anyone. You cleared your throat gently.

“So…” 

Iwaizumi noticed a change in your expression - it looked like you were pouting. It wasn’t as expressive as Oikawa’s pouting but visible to Iwaizumi’s sharp eyes. 

“…what kind of _puzzle_ are you going to give me next, sir?” 

Iwaizumi looked at you blankly. You were pouting. Then he smiled shortly to your descriptive phrasing before turning to look at the Rookies who were still training. Soon he nodded at a certain pair, 

“That kind of.” 

You turned to look at the given direction. At first no one caught your eye but then you noticed a rather fierce looking man with short-cropped blonde hair with two darker stripes in his hair. He was rather hostile, giving his opponent no time to rest before attacking at him with full force again. The man seemed to feel your stare and turned at you, glaring. He seemed to be even worse than Kageyama. _A real beast_ , you furrowed.

“Kyotani Kentaro. Oikawa has given him nickname ‘Mad Dog’ ”, Iwaizumi said before turning to you, “Pretty reasonable name isn’t it? He is like a wild animal.” 

You nodded. As you observed him you noticed that he went with full force and was also fast. Kyotani attacked from weird angles, confusing the opponent by it before striking them down. You (e/c) eyes were locked in his every movement, looking for weaknesses. Observing. _I must not get intimidated by him. He is just one more dog to handle._

Iwaizumi watched your glaring at Kyotani a while and laughed little. This broke your trance and made you turn to him confused. 

“Sorry… I’m just surprised that you didn’t object this arrangement. Usually everyone take immediately a step back and plead not to face him.” You turned your gaze back at Kyotani and only then you noticed: everyone really were alerted around him, looking over their shoulders so they wouldn’t bump into him even by accident. _They are afraid of him._ “If you want to try and compete him I will not stop you… but just you know that he gives me troubles too. He is on the top in competing but as a soldier he is - -”

“S-SIR!!”

The discussion was stopped when a soldier ran to Iwaizumi in panic. Something had happened during the training. Iwaizumi rushed to the scene where a Rookie was laying in the ground gasping for air while other soldiers busied around him. Iwaizumi immediately ran to the man. Horrified. What had happened when he hadn’t watched? The soldier was spitting blood and was choking. 

“(NAME)!!” Iwaizumi shouted in raspy voice. Alerted. You ran to Iwaizumi and the man who was already squirming in pain.

“What happened?” Your voice was severe but calm. Everyone turned their eyes on another man who was on his knees little further away. He was as pale as ghost, shocked. He shivered under everybody’s stares. Somebody said that he had been a pair to the injured man during the training.

“I-I-I didn’t s-see! I s-s-swear!” He stuttered in panic. “I d-d-didn’t mean it…” 

You knew that you wouldn’t get quick answers from him so you ignored him. “He won’t be any help.”

“Will somebody tell me what happened?!” Iwaizumi shouted, frustration echoing his voice. Sugawara was rushing to help but Iwaizumi stopped him. “Sugawara call Takeda here! It’s urgent!” Sweat appeared on Sugawara’s temple as he nodded and ran off. 

The man was grasping his throat, breathing laboriously in pain. He was fighting for every inhaled amount of air before coughing it away, and it was only getting worse. His face was red, starting to turn blue. You gripped his hand from his throat and saw clearly that his throat had started swell: the windpipe was misshapen, crooked too much on his right and the swelling was on the left. 

“He has got direct hit to the throat, from the left”, you muttered your thoughts aloud before anybody managed to answer to Iwaizumi’s question. Everyone’s eyes turned to the man on his knees who was hugging himself.

“I-I-I d-don’t know… I t-thought..! H-h-he d-d-didn’t s-see it co-coming..! O-oh god..!” The man was stuttering while staring horrified at his friend on the ground. A couple of soldiers tried to calm him down. _That one will pass out soon too._

“Take him away to clear his head!” Iwaizumi ordered.

As you touched the throat slightly to feel the damage the man panicked because of the pain and tried to push you away. “Iwaizumi could you keep him still.” 

As the black spiky haired Elite took hold of the man, he started hyperventilating. Or at least tried - his throat barely let the air come into his lungs anymore. His friends tried to calm him down but he was beyond listening. His breath turned more and more troubled, hissing. You felt sharp edges under the skin in his throat. _Those are gristles… they are broken._ The man was already turning blue.

His throat is swelling fast, you though alerted as you observed the man. 

“What is happening, (Surname)?! What do we do?” Iwaizumi asked vigilantly. _Why do you just stare at him? Why aren’t you acting?_

“Hold him still. This will hurt.” _This may give me more time to think._

Since your medical equipment hadn’t arrived yet there was little you could do to help to ease the man’s suffering. No painkillers. No sedatives. You just had to deal with it. He just had to deal with it if he wanted to stay alive. You placed your hands around the man’s neck, placing your thumbs on the both sides of his twisted windpipe, right under his voice box. When you were sure you had firm hold you nodded to Iwaizumi who tightened his grip. You took a deep breath and twisted the gristles back. The man tried to scream and wriggle but all you could hear were some inhuman voice before he passed out from pain.

“He passed out! He is all limp!!” Somebody shouted in horror. _It would have been more merciful to him if he had done that sooner_ , you thought as you straightened the man’s neck so he could breathe more easily. The man didn’t move, nor made any sound. Actually, he was starting to look quite pale. “Is he even alive?”

Iwaizumi got worried about this. “What do we do now, (Surname)?!”

“Iwaizumi make us some room and shoo these Rookies off! I need exactly three men right now, if even that now that he’s unconscious!” As Iwaizumi was driving unneeded audience away, you made sure that the man doesn’t swallow his tongue by changing his laying position. It didn’t seem to help. The soldier still had trouble with breathing. _Wait a minute…_ As you checked his throat again you noticed something alerting – the gristles around his windpipe were broken from right side too. _It had already started to swell. If it swells from this side too..!_

There was one thing left to do. 

“One of you hold his legs, the rest hold his head and arms still.“ You ordered the four soldiers that were closest to you to approach. One of them ran to hold down the man’s legs and two others came to help Iwaizumi, who just arrived back, with the upper body. For the fourth one you gave a different order. “You cut your water bottle half, about five centimeters from the bottle neck. Wash it if you can.” 

The soldier nodded and started working immediately. 

“What are you up to?” Iwaizumi asked confused and worried, holding the man’s head as he was turning blue again. The lack of air was making the Rookie’s body to cramp, to tug. When you unsheltered your pocket knife he turned pale and his green eyes widened in shock. “WHAT are you DOING?!” 

Iwaizumi gripped your arm as you were bringing it closer the man’s throat. He looked dumbfounded. The other soldiers stared at you terrified. 

“Listen Iwaizumi, his throat will dwell shut soon. If his brain doesn’t get oxygen his brain cells starts to die after a minute which can cause him a brain damage.” You said in a serious but calm manner.

Iwaizumi looked baffled, but refused to let go of your arm. “Wh-what then… what can we..?” 

“I’m making a temporary tracheotomy.” 

Iwaizumi furrowed in confusion. But before he could open his mouth to ask, you answered slowly and calmly: “Iwaizumi, I will open his windpipe.” 

Iwaizumi froze.

He swallowed hard. How could you be so calm? Your hand didn’t tremble under his grip. Your voice didn’t waver. You had just said to open a living man’s throat with a knife and showed no signs of hesitation. Why didn’t your hand tremble?

“Hajime, he will suffocate if I don’t. Let me do this.” 

How could he stop you? You were the medic here. Iwaizumi let go of your hand reluctantly, without breaking an eye contact with your serious (e/c) eyes. Then he just nodded, and you nodded back.

“Hold him still now. Those who don’t stand blood please look away.“ 

You put the blade between the swelling and the collarbones. _I must not hit the biggest veins. I must not go too deep._ You inhaled and with strong clean movement you sank the knife in his windpipe. Blood rushed on your hands. The unconscious man twitched in pain but didn’t wake up. He was sweating a lot. Trembling. You pulled the knife out and sank two slender fingers in the wound, feeling the muscles and the rough edges of the windpipe and spread the cut open. Cold air passed past your blood moist fingers. You placed pieces of cloth to stop the worst bleeding and then planted the mouth of the cut bottle inside the wound, inside the windpipe. _This isn’t the most hygienic way but it may save him…_

When the patient’s throat finally swelled shut, he started breathing entirely through the hole and the bottle in his windpipe. Healthy color started to return to his face. He started to wake up too, though he was in great pain. Saliva was running out his mouth since the esophagus had swelled shut too. 

“Can you breathe now?” you asked carefully, to which the male just nodded, clearly pained. “Good. Lay still and don’t move.”

“(Name)!” Sugawara shouted as he finally returned. He was running a phone in his hand. “I finally contacted Dr. Takeda! He is on the line - -!” Sugawara stopped in shock when he saw the man, the blood, and how frightened everyone looked. Iwaizumi was pale and sweating, still holding the man’s head firmly still. He felt a lump in his throat whenever he saw the wound but he couldn’t stop glancing at it. 

You walked to Sugawara and took the phone. Your hands were covered in blood.

“Doctor..! Yes. Yes, he got a hit straight to his throat, from the left, right under the voice box - -”

As you continued to explain how things had turned out and what you had done to avoid suffocating, Iwaizumi noticed to he was staring at you. He felt that looking at you helped him to calm down. You were the only thing that made sense to him right now. There you were, hands all bloodied, totally calm, just casually talking on the phone. _(Name), how could you be so calm the whole time?_ , he wanted to ask. _Why aren’t you trembling?_ , Iwaizumi thought, as he felt trembles go through his body again. 

”- -yes. It seemed to work, he is breathing through the bottle but I don’t think… Yes… Yes please. Roger! See you soon!” You sighed and gave the phone back to Sugawara, and walked to the man who was now fully awake. 

“Dr. Takeda is coming back from some meeting as quickly as he can. Let’s move you to the clinic so he can finish this”, you said to the male who tried to nod but only winced in pain. “Please try not to move. I know you feel awkward and you are in pain, but fight it down. Concentrate only on breathing for now.”

After you left with the man and some other soldiers to the clinic, Iwaizumi and Sugawara ended the practice and went to report what had happened. They also had to hear from the person who had caused the damage. He seemed to have lost consciousness at some point but had eventually woken up. They had a hard time trying to calm the man down but said that it was an accident. Later on, the patient confirmed his statement, so he was not charged. 

\- - - -

You were already in the lounge washing your hands when everyone came back to get prepared for supper. There was still blood under your nails, which bothered you. Was it even that man’s blood? Maybe you had dug too deep and were actually bleeding yourself. Kuroo and Bokuto sat down on sofa as Iwaizumi, Oikawa, and Sawamura just stepped in.

It didn’t took long for the gossip to begin.

“So I heard that some soldier got really beaten during a practice today!” Bokuto said excited. It was always exciting to hear others’ failings. 

Kuroo seemed to agree, “Hoo? What happened?”

“Erm, I don’t know really… it seems he got a hit on his neck and lost consciousness. Somebody said he got a hit to his face since there was lots of blood on the ground.” This was when Sugawara and Akaashi entered in the lounge. Kuroo checked the notice board to see who had held the practice that day. 

“Ho, so it was during Iwaizumi’s hand to hand combat practice!” Everyone turned their eyes on Iwaizumi who just furrowed his browns annoyed as he sat at the dining table. “So did he got hit on his face or-?”

“It was nothing like that!”, Iwaizumi spat angrily. He felt guilty from what had happened and didn’t want to hear about it.

“Whoaa! Sorry, sorry!” 

“Iwa-chan, what in earth happened then?” Oikawa asked, surprised about his friend’s reaction. The look on his face was giving was one he had never seen before. He looked hurt and ashamed. _Why is he hating himself right now?_

Iwaizumi sighed frustrated and rubbed his forehead. 

“That Rookie got hit right on his throat, fuck, damn it! He couldn’t breathe… it happened so quickly. His throat broke or something.”

Iwaizumi glanced at you; you were drying your hands. “The gristles around his windpipe got mashed”, you said calmly, before giving a returning glance towards Iwaizumi. 

“Yeah… and then (Na-)… (Surname) forced his windpipe back to original position. And then she cut his throat open and stuffed some bottleneck in there a-and - -” 

Everybody froze, processing the information before…

“SHE DID WHAAAT?!” Oikawa, Bokuto and Sawamura shouted, while Akaashi and Kuroo just stared at Iwaizumi, mouths wide open. Soon everyone either held their throats or had suddenly trouble with swallowing. They looked at you like you were some a savage.

“I made a _tracheotomy_.” You explained annoyed to the males. “A hole on his windpipe so he could get air when his throat swelled shut.” 

“Yes, and it saved the man.” Iwaizumi said before turning grim again. “He could have died. If (Surname) wasn’t there he would have suffocated. I couldn’t do anything.” 

Iwaizumi bit his lip in guilt. Everybody looked at their troubled friend. Oikawa tried to cheer him up by saying that ‘these things happens’ and that ‘it wouldn’t have been his fault’, but this only made Iwaizumi angrier.

“I was holding that practice, damn it!!! I should have prevented that from happening, as a superior I should have been prepared!! I didn’t even know what to do!” Daichi stood up and came between his friends. He put his hand over Iwaizumi’s shoulder and squeezed firmly. 

“Iwaizumi, that soldier didn’t die, and you did your job as you were ordered. Don’t blame yourself for this.” Daichi said calmly. Iwaizumi trembled in anger, and stared the floor while gnawing on his lower lip. Daichi sighed at this and smiled a little. “Furthermore, I heard that that man will make a full recovery, so please calm down.”

Hearing this made Iwaizumi look up directly into his captain’s dark brown eyes to see if he was lying. Daichi smiled and nodded at you, drawing Iwaizumi’s attention to your form. His eyes were wide open, confused.

“Dr. Takeda said that the hit didn’t damage his voice box so it shouldn’t affect his speech much. He also told me that after the surgery the windpipe will heal in time.” 

Relief was visible in Iwaizumi’s eyes when he heard that. Daichi squeezed his shoulder again.

“He will be okay, Iwaizumi.” 

“Thank gods…” Iwaizumi whispered and sat back down relieved. Daichi and Oikawa patted his back, grinning, and everyone laughed when he shooed them off in embarrassment. They were glad he was finally smiling. It was a kind of sweet smile, you thought absently.

“Now that things are settled, let’s go get some supper!” Daichi announced. If anyone can even swallow after hearing that, he thought while rubbing his throat. You seemed to be really calm about the matter. 

 

As everyone headed towards canteen, Iwaizumi walked up to you.

“Thank you, (Name).” Iwaizumi was smiling, relieved, a light blush appearing on his cheeks as he rubbed his neck. “You were unbelievable today… you really saved us.”

“N-no problem. I’m the paramedic here after all”, your answered awkwardly. The fact he had called you by your first name made you feel embarrassed. It seemed that he would only call you by your first name when it really mattered. 

Iwaizumi gave a small laugh, making you confused again. Had you said something funny? Bokuto turned to you suddenly and asked how you knew what to do. As you explained the symptoms you noticed Iwaizumi had moved back, making room for the others to approach you.

_(Name), you can slice a man’s throat open without hesitation, but you can’t take a little praise_ , Iwaizumi thought amusedly; he had noticed the wavering in your voice. When you glanced back to see if Iwaizumi was still there, your eyes met and Iwaizumi’s heart stopped for a second. 

_What was that?_

He put his hand on his chest, confused. His heart was beating faster. Oikawa turned to look at him and smirked. 

“Iwa-chan ~ , do you have trouble breathing? Should I do a trahetomy for you ~ ?”

“ _Tracheotomy_ ”, you and Bokuto corrected at the same time.

“I would never let you do it, Trashykawa.” 

“You are a horrible man Iwa-chan! I would be awesome medic!”

“Yeah right…”

This started a loud conversation on whether Oikawa would be able to be a medic at all. 

Then the conversation turned into him becoming a fine nurse… 

Surely a pretty one… 

Soon everyone’s heads were filled with sick ‘pin-up Oikawa nurse’ visions…

 

You shook your head in exasperation. _Why am I here again?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient, and huge thanks to JuleMaker who is willing to help me as a beta!  
> I feel so lucky ~ 
> 
> Hopefully you enjoyed the chapter!


	4. Pointing fingers

A couple of times in a week there were training sessions where only the Elites (and you, at times) participated in. The reason for this arrangement was so that the Elites were able to use their abilities at maximum, which was never possible with Rookies. Today it was about self-defense. Everyone had gathered in the gym hall designed for the combat training: the gym floor was entirely thin blue mattress and everyone used rubber weapons to avoid unnecessary injuries.

First you were trained in disarming with fake handguns and later with rubber blades.

Training with the Elites was intense. After a couple of failures, you managed to disarm Akaashi and then Sawamura. At some point, you started to wonder if they had actually let you do it or if you really were just improving. Either way, Sawamura genuinely praised you after succeeding before he decided to start the next practice. 

Next, you had to disarm a rubber blade. One person was the attacker and the other had to disarm or neutralize the danger. The roles changed after neutralizing or, well, dying. The Elites had developed a point system for this training. If the attacker managed to kill the target, he got the point. Then again if you managed to defend yourself and neutralize the attacker, you got the point. Of course you had to attack your target with full force: it was important to learn how to beat strong enemies. When two of Elites competed, the rest would watch and learn from the side of the ring. 

Soon it became clear that Iwaizumi was probably the best with disarming – only Kuroo managed to beat him once. Then again, Kuroo was also the ones who attacked the most fiercely; he almost always managed to beat his target. 

Unfortunately, you had to face Iwaizumi first. You didn’t even manage to get a hit in before he pinned you to the mattress. This happened again when he attacked you; you barely managed to protect yourself. Although, you got a chance to disarm him, he overpowered you. 

You also lost to Oikawa both times. You almost got him while attacking but again – you weren’t strong enough. Aaand… you lost to Bokuto too. Obviously! He was basically 90 kg of pure muscle! It soon became clear that it was impossible for you to beat them using strength but you didn’t care. 

Kuroo was leading in points, only Bokuto had been the only one who had managed to beat Kuroo while attacking.

As you watched the others fight, you had noticed something irritating – the Elites didn’t use their full strength with you. Blows Bokuto gave Kuroo while attacking were much rougher than the blows he gave to you, Oikawa moved much faster than he did with you, and even Iwaizumi had been rather gentle when he had disarmed you… yet still they wished you to try more.

_How can they ask me to do my best when even they can’t do the same for me?_ , you thought as you watched Oikawa quickly dodge Iwaizumi’s attack. After losing, Oikawa started nagging that he had managed to beat Iwaizumi before he took the blade away. This caused loud oral voting, which ended for Iwaizumi’s win. 

”Okay okay! Let’s continue!” Daichi shouted as Suga wrote up the results. Both of them gulped when they realized who would match next. Suga gave Daichi the ‘ _this will not end well_ ’-look but there was little to be done for the matter. “The next ones are Kuroo and (Surname). How do you start?” 

“I go first”, Kuroo stated as he threw and caught his blade coolly. Your upper lip twitched slightly.

The situation between you two clearly hadn’t improved. You faced each other silently. Displeased. The tension had been going on for over a week now. You couldn’t forget how he had scolded you a rather intimating way in the storage, how he had trapped you and shouted at you. To Kuroo, there was nothing more annoying than knowing you were holding back and refusing to connect with the team. You were dishonest. There was something you didn’t want others to see, so Kuroo had decided to force it out.

Defending yourself against Kuroo wasn’t easy: his fast reflexes and high mobility were admirable. You were barely able to react in time, but somehow you held on, taking damage little by little. And he wasn’t even going all out against you! Kuroo saw how you struggled. With quick pause, he messed up your rhythm and swept you out from under your feet. After landing on the thin mattress, it didn’t take long for you to feel the point of the rubber practice blade pressing gently against your throat. Kuroo was looking down at you. 

You bit your lip in frustration. Kuroo rose and held his hand to help you up.

You didn’t take it to get up. It was your turn to attack.

“I’ve been wondering - -” Kuroo started as you rose. Sweat had caused Kuroo’s bed hair flop so he brushed it on his side. “- - if we have done something to upset you.”

_This subject again_ , you thought annoyed, but pushed the feeling away. Mixing emotions with the coming match wouldn’t help you at all. You walked to Suga to get the practice blade. There was many different styled blades to pick but you decided to go with the most basic one. It didn’t bring back any memories. You felt everyone’s eyes on you. 

“No answer yet again.” Kuroo’s voice was full of judgment and irritation. He just couldn’t keep it in anymore. “Just when you will stop running away?” 

You halted. For a moment, you were lost in your thoughts, hearing your nightmares whispering unpleasant things inside your head. Shadows, cold daggers… that Man’s sweet smile and cold eyes. You just wanted to forget, and Kuroo just had to bring everything back up. Suga looked at you worried, for a moment it seemed like you had stopped breathing. 

Daichi didn’t like how your eyes darkened, “Kuroo, don’t provoke her.”

“Daichi, she obviously doesn’t want to be here! Even you mentioned her withdrawnness multiply times.” The others seemed to be equally troubled about the matter. Bokuto rubbed his neck, feeling uneasy. Daichi couldn’t really talk back so Kuroo continued despite the disapproval look he got. “I just want to know why she still remains here.” 

“…”

Chills went up your spine. Were they suspecting you? It’s true that your ‘withdrawnness’ made people cautious. People in Eagle Garden hadn’t been exceptions, they even went as far as forcing you to leave. Was it going to happen again?

“I-it’s not like I hate it here or anything - -”, you blurted out without thinking. Everyone turned to look at you their eyes wide open. However, you were the most startled in the hall. _Why did I say that?_ , you thought in confusion while taking your position, _Do I really like it here? …do I really want to stay?_

The rubber practice blade firmly in your hand, you faced Kuroo. He looked serious but something in him hinted of irritation. 

“Then what is it?”, he said without blinking an eye. Frustration took over you instantly. _Why can’t he just drop it already?!_

“It is none of your business”, you spat before launching at the taller black haired male. 

The other Elites watched in awe at you attack. Your movements seemed to be flawless. A couple of slashes later you had to fall back. You couldn’t reach him. _What’s going on?_ Something had changed in him. He was different. Your instincts kicked in, _I have to stop this game right now._

With quick moves you finally reached him but before you could bring any hit in he easily grabbed one wrist and then the other.

“What. Is. It?!” Kuroo half yelled to your face. Just like a week back when he had lectured you, you were once again trapped and yelled at by him. “Seriously (Name) you can tru- -”

“Drop it already! It has nothing to do with you!” You squirmed from his grip and sent a powerful kick towards his side. To your shock Kuroo used your momentum sending you to fly past him. You landed on your side, air escaping from your lungs. The blade had been dropped onto the mattress between you two, but everybody in the room knew that you wouldn’t be the one to reach it first. You wouldn’t reach it. But instead getting the blade, Kuroo just looked at you angrily.

“It’s not over yet,” Kuroo seemed to read your mind. “Pick it up.” 

Disbelief washed over you. It made no sense. You had lost fair and square! While recovering from the impact you turned to Daichi in confusion. The captain looked at you powerlessly but before he could speak Kuroo explained the situation you were in.

“The match won’t end before I neutralize you, the attacker, or before you strike me, your target, down.” 

You found yourself dumbfounded, but then realization hit you. Hard.

_He… schemed all this…_ you stared at the blade in the disbelief, _right from the start._ When your eyes met again with Kuroo’s you found something in him, something you had missed from the start.

Kuroo Tetsurou was _sly._

Understanding that little fact opened your eyes. _I’m just a game for him._

“Well are you picking it up or - -” Kuroo was forced to shut up as fast and furious attacks suddenly rained down upon him. Anger was visible in your eyes, giving you strength to attack with renewed vigor. _He’s just playing with me. “You fool!”_ rang in your head; your nightmares resurfaced as you attacked and launched yourself at Kuroo, forcing him finally to focus on your assault. 

_Has he ever even taken me seriously?!_

Kuroo tossed down onto the mattress many and more times but you weren’t giving in. Even Suga tried to calm you down but you were too furious to listen. All you wanted was to end this shitty joke, but Kuroo clearly wasn’t the one who would end the match. _Shit!!_

After multiple failed attempts, you were panting hard. You were on all fours, leaning on your arms. You were losing your stamina. _Fuck, damn it!!_

Even Kuroo had begun sweating in earnest. He wiped his hair off his face and panted.

“Hey hey… we aren’t done yet, kitty.” 

The match had moved to the point where everything looked hopeless for you and there was no one to help you. Kuroo had lifted the degree of the difficulty to the point where you couldn’t move without really trying. Without putting more talent in. The air was thick and heavy as everybody felt you give up. Sugawara looked at his captain in disbelief but the man only turned his gaze away. The others were uncomfortable too but rules were rules, and you wouldn’t become exception.

“I’m… done with this _shit_ ”, you finally panted. Everyone looked troubled as you rose and picked your simple styled rubber blade and headed at Suga. _This is it._ The hall fell silent, only your faint steps were heard. Sugawara watched you in agony as you crouched to place the blade back in the box. He wanted to say something but somehow he knew you wouldn’t hear him. 

Kuroo didn’t like this at all. This wasn’t what he had wanted. He wanted you to go all out on him, not quit!

“This isn’t over yet (Surname)!” But it seemed you were beyond hearing anything. As you moved. Kuroo walked at you to prevent you from leaving, to prevent you to turn your back at him. “If you think I just let you to run away from th- -!” He planted his hand on your shoulder to turn you to face him, only to get a punch to the chin. 

Kuroo staggered backwards holding his chin, tasting blood. The strike had surely come as a surprise to everybody. It was faster than he had thought, making Kuroo somewhat amused. _So you can hit._ But before he could say anything snarky he felt a shiver done his spine.

His instincts kicked in. 

_Eh..?_

His hand stopped your knee just in time before it could sink in his stomach. _When did she reach me?!_ , Kuroo thought in shock as you started to slash at him. 

“WHAT! THE HELL! DO YOU! KNOW ABOUT! RUNNING?!” You shouted angrily between the slashes. 

Everyone had tensed up. 

Kuroo barely dodged the slashes, concentrating solely on the blade. He noticed that you had changed your practice blade to a lighter, narrower one with nasty-looking curve. However, it wasn’t only thing that had changed – you moved differently, your tempo had changed and your (e/c) eyes shined murderously. You were… you were finally _serious._

Kuroo felt hairs in his neck stand up. _This is what I wanted..._ The blade slashed his cheek, leaving an angry red line on the skin, _...so why do I feel this bad?_

Suddenly the blade slowed down. Only then did Kuroo realize that the blade was flying up alone.

_Huh?_

Before Kuroo could bring his attention back to you, you gave a strong frontal kick and made Kuroo crash down onto the mattress. The air left his lungs and for a moment he saw stars in his vision. You had caught the blade right after sending the male flying, and immobilized him with your body. With sharp movement, you “opened” his throat before sinking the tip of the blade between his collarbones towards his heart and lungs.

“ **HELL YES** , I will run, because last time it saved me from a man like _**you**_!” You spat the words straight to Kuroo’s face, startling the man. Oh, but you weren’t done yet. More like you couldn’t shut up anymore. You were boiling mad.

“A man that I thought I knew fucking tried to kill me!” Without realizing, you sank the blade little bit deeper into his skin. Kuroo could feel how your hand shook. “I will not let anybody fool me like that. No, no, **I won’t**!! Not even if it means I have to face my enemies alone! I will not let that happen ever again!!” 

For once Kuroo fell silent, looking up at you shocked and thinking, _Shit… I have made horrible mistake._ But he couldn’t say anything.

“So how in **the fuck** can I trust you, someone I barely know, when the last person **who I devoted _my whole life_ pointed a fucking _gun at me_?!** ” 

Your words echoed in the hall as everybody sat startled around you two. You had literally screamed your breath out and now huffed raggedly. “H-he fucking… shot me…”, you whispered. Once again you had grasped your stomach, your scars. They hurt.

There was new kind of emotion coloring your face – unadulterated despair. It hurt. Whatever you were feeling was surely painful in every possible way. Kuroo could only stare your tired eyes aghast. He had forgotten how to breath. What could he say? 

The situation felt rather threatening and pressing for Sugawara’s taste. He broke the silence with small cough, “I t-think this was all for today! R-right Daichi?” and hit the darker male’s side with his elbow. The captain took the hint and called that the practice was over for today. 

Your grip to the blade wasn’t relenting at all.

“(Name)?” Sugawara asked carefully. Only then did your tensed shoulders relax slightly and you removed the blade from Kuroo’s throat. Daichi watched you rise tentatively, avoiding eye contact with everyone. _(Name)…_

Ashamed of your emotional explosion you took your leave first, leaving Kuroo laying on the mattress. Sugawara came to you, his brown eyes were full of sadness, but he couldn’t find words. Your (e/c) eyes were dim again, hurt, tired. For once he could understand how you felt. He just took your practice blade, which you were still gripping, and gave you a small nod. You kept walking.

When Kuroo finally snapped out of his thoughts he turned to watch at you go. Strangely, he realized he didn’t want you to leave. He felt that if you slipped away now he would be total loser… the only girl in a fifty-kilometer radius had just thrown him, an Elite of Crow’s Nest to the ground rather brutally. He didn’t want to lose the game verbally too. How could he ever face you again if he did?

“You can’t…”, he finally answered to you. “But hey, you know… nobody of us are him. He is not here, (Name). W-what I try to say…” _Shit my voice trembled!_ “You really need to understand that it’s over and you are safe in here. With us.” 

When you stopped at the door Kuroo felt a weird sense of relief for a moment. But when you turned to look at him everything crashed inside his head. 

“Funny… that was exactly what they told me in Eagle Gardens too”, you said with a weak, pitiful smile staining your beautiful face. You looked exhausted. “…and here I am.”

* * *

After you left Kuroo cursed loudly and slammed his fist into the mattress. He couldn’t figure out if he was more frustrated because you had got the last word and shut him up or because you had looked so damn vulnerable. 

_Shit._

Akaashi came to him and helped him up without saying anything. Everybody had fallen silent, feeling depressed after seeing you in such discomfort. Daichi headed to Kuroo and the taller male was sure he would hear the most annoying yet deserved lecturing he would ever hear in his life. But the captain walked past him, going after you. Kuroo watched eyes wide open as the captain left the hall before Oikawa snapped him out of it, and headed to showers with everyone.

_Just shit and fuck and damn it._

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” He asked while following Oikawa and others, trying to keep his brave act up.

“No, if you be quiet.” Oikawa said coldly, everyone seemed to quietly agree.

“Oh… okay.” _I don’t feel like talking either._ There was a small silent moment. “Thank you.”

“Shut the fuck up, Kuroo.” 

Oikawa and Sugawara had rather hurt expressions while Iwaizumi and Akaashi were quiet as always but looking somewhat tired. As Kuroo was dressing up, he noticed that Bokuto was staring with his eyes wide open at his hands, looking at them as if he had just noticed that he actually had two of them. Akaashi watched his friend, troubled.

“Bokuto-san, please dress. We should get going.” It took a moment for Bokuto to process Akaashi’s request. He managed to put on a shirt and put a towel on his wet hair, before stopping and staring in the distance again. “Bokuto-san… what is it?” 

Reacting to his name he shot his eyes up. His eyes were sparkling, full of hidden excitement. “Did you… did you see how she moved? She was so quick, so… unpredictable.” He turned his focus on his hands again, “How did she do it?”

“Do what?” Oikawa asked in piqued manner, he didn’t like that they were talking about you after what had happened. 

“She moved that blade like it was a part of her body. Did you see it?” Bokuto stared at his hands again, before pressing them into tight fists. “That one moment… her eyes seemed to brighten, or something. There were flames…”

“…”

Everybody just dropped the subject and decided to let Bokuto be. It was rather rare for him to be silent anyway. When they headed back they walked past your door, hearing Daichi’s low voice coming behind it. Kuroo wanted to stop. 

Why? To apologize? 

But Oikawa and Iwaizumi surrounded him and pushed him past the door.

“Kuroo, let her rest”, Iwaizumi said, while pressing Kuroo’s left shoulder firmly.

“That’s right. Let (Name)-chan be, okay?” Oikawa pushed Kuroo’s back with his left hand. 

He just answered quietly ‘okay’. Kuroo felt baffled, like his mind wasn’t functioning. He followed Akaashi and Bokuto to their shared room as Oikawa and Iwaizumi went into their own. Sugawara stayed in the lounge and sat down at the dining table, waiting for his roommate. Kuroo gave one last look at your door before pulling the door shut behind him. 

_I’m sorry._

* * *

Captain Daichi had caught you just when you had been stepping into your room. You had let him in since otherwise Mashur would have wanted to go outside and you weren’t really in the mood to go anywhere…

“I want to apologize to you for Kuroo’s actions”, Daichi said while leaning on the desk. You were sitting on your bed while Mashur had his head on your lap. “He went over the line. I feel bad that I couldn’t prevent this.”

You sighed tired. “I don’t mind, sir. He used the rules brilliantly after all.” 

“(Name), you are allowed to be upset about this.” 

But you really weren’t. After you had left you had felt rather numb, there was no emotion in you… exhaustion, maybe? You sighed again. 

“Sir, I’m really tired. Can we drop this subject for now?” 

“I understand, but you need to promise me something first.” Daichi looked into your tired (e/c) eyes in a serious but warm way. “Promise me that this isn’t the last time we talk about this… (Name), I’m not saying that I will force you to talk but at this point I have to advise you to talk about these matters. Everybody here has their own demons but it doesn’t mean you have to fight them alone. I don’t want to see you suffer, I truly don’t, (Name).” 

Captain’s words and tone made you feel little embarrassed; his voice was so warm and you knew that he truly meant no harm. Still, even thinking about telling someone about your past made you feel terrified. _Would they really understand?_

“I don’t know if I can promise that, sir…”

“For now it is enough for me if you consider it.” 

“Yes, sir”, you said quietly, not looking him in to eyes. “I will consider it.” Still it was enough for the captain who immediately relaxed after giving a small sigh. 

“Thank you (Name).” Daichi smiled relieved, he felt proud of you. You had long way to go, but this was a start. “Well, I will drop this subject now. Be at ease.” 

He rose up and headed towards the door. Still at the door he suddenly stopped and turned to you again slightly ashamed, rubbing his neck.

“Erm, could you also give Kuroo another chance. He seemed to be genuinely regretting his actions.” You remembered his expression during your out-burst. _He had seemed baffled, no, maybe even shocked._

“…I will try”, you muttered while pouting little. 

“I really appreciate it. Thank you again.” Daichi seemed to blush little when he called you a ‘good night’ and left your room. You could hear Sugawara’s voice calling him from the lounge, before the door clicked shut. 

Mashur reached to sniff your lips, his whiskers tickled the corner of your mouth and forced you to smile little. “Pff.. always sniffing the trouble away, huh?” Your familiar warm voice made the dog fawn his tail before giving out a big yawn. You planted a kiss on your companion’s snout.

“It will be a long night, so make sure to stay by my side okay?”

* * *

The next morning you bumped into Oikawa in the lounge. He didn’t know that you had nightmares last night but he saw that you were extremely tired. It concerned him. _(Name)-chan, are you okay?_ , he wanted to ask you, _it hurts to see you that way_. He wanted to cheer you up, to make you smile and laugh but he already knew he would fail. You weren’t just some soft-hearted woman who looked for somebody to love her or looked for someone to love.

“Good morning, (Name)-chan”, Oikawa said quietly as you walked to check your schedule at the notice board. 

He seemed to be little down. _Is he worried about yesterday?_

“Good morning, Oikawa.” The fact you had called his name made the brown haired male quickly cheer up, making him hum happily as he drank his coffee. 

“What are you up to today?”

“Mm, probably shooting practices only today... Dr. Takeda wanted to meet me before dinnertime too.” 

Oikawa checked the notice board. You actually had mobility training after shooting practice, but it was held by Kuroo. Oikawa realized the situation immediately, _Ah, she doesn’t want to face him yet._

“Well then you will be with me today!” Oikawa said happily, “Lucky ~ “ 

You raised an eyebrown. Oikawa was a sharp person though he hid it with his childish actions. He had noticed that you were skipping a practice but made no remark about it for your sake. You mentally sighed. Oikawa Tooru was yet another man who made no sense to you. Maybe because he was extremely intelligent and cunning. You watched the man sip his coffee like nothing was wrong. 

You furrowed, _men were supposed to be simple._

Oikawa turned to look at you, abashed. “W-what? Is there something on my face?” 

You sighed little, “No there isn’t.” _He is playing a silent hero._

“What is iiit ~ ?” Oikawa wiped his face before furrowing his brows and pouting his lips. 

“Just concentrate on your coffee so we can leave!” You tried to sound annoyed though you had to admit the face the Elite was making was rather amusing.

This stopped Oikawa. He raised his gaze from his mug and blinked confused, “Leave? Where?” 

“To get breakfast of course! Why are you even asking?” You raised eyebrown and tilted your head, “Or have you eaten already?” 

_Ah…_ Oikawa thought baffled, maybe even excited, _she is waiting for me_. It made him feel weirdly warm inside, butterflies flying in his stomach. “I h-haven’t eaten yet! Just a minute, okay?” You just nodded and leaned against the wall, waiting for him. He felt his heart beat a little faster as he drank his coffee. The caffeine rush didn’t really help though.

After washing his mug, he jogged to your side his hands in his pockets, “Let’s go ~. “ 

The brunette looked so happy, humming satisfied as you both made your way towards the canteen. 

_May this be my thanks to you, Oikawa._

* * *

During the dinner, after all the practices, the Elites gathered to eat at the round table. Everyone except you. Kuroo watched the empty seat, troubled. Daichi noticed this.

“What’s up Kuroo?”

Kuroo rubbed his neck uneasily, “(Name) didn’t participate in the mobility training I was holding today.” 

“That’s because I stole her, stupid ~ ” Oikawa sang mockingly, “She practiced shooting with me the whole day.” He purposely wanted to make them jealous and succeeded brilliantly. A certain hot-head lost his temper immediately. 

“Oi oi! You can’t just steal her to yourself!” Bokuto shouted after hitting his fist against the table. 

“Oh but I already did ~ “Oikawa sang annoyingly back at Bokuto, “Does it upset you, owl-boy?”

“What was that?!!” Bokuto was already standing up so he would reach for Oikawa over the table, but Akaashi prevented this by pulling him back down from his shirt.

“Bokuto, don’t let him bother you. You should already be aware that he just wants to annoy you.”

“Oikawa stop it!” Sugawara begged. Oikawa just smiled slyly and continued eating. “And you shouldn’t mess up (Name)’s schedules like that!” 

Oikawa squinted his eyes a little before pouting, “Just so you know we made great progress!” Iwaizumi watched his friend suspiciously but refused to interfere with this mess.

“By the way where is (Surname)?” Daichi asked and looked around. Had you eaten?

“She said Dr. Takeda wanted to meet her… so she is probably at the clinic.” Oikawa answered unconcernedly. He shot his eyes at Kuroo this time, giving a warning glare. _Just don’t you even dare to go bother her._ Kuroo figured out what he was thinking and felt slightly uncomfortable. 

“Oikawa, stop that glaring already!”

 

After everyone ate, they got ready for the free time. Iwaizumi followed Oikawa: it wasn’t uncommon since they always were together but this time Oikawa could feel that Iwaizumi was about to say something to him. 

“Is Iwa-chan coming to the gym too?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Great ~ “They walked in silence towards the gym. After a while Oikawa started to feel really anxious, _Iwa-chan, aren’t you really going to…_

“You surely made yourself look like a villain right there”, Iwaizumi said in his naturally severe way, stopping Oikawa’s thinking. He looked directly at his friend’s brown eyes. It wasn’t like he was angry… more like he had figured things out and was now making sure if he was right. “She avoided that practice by her own didn’t she. You didn’t steal her. That was just a cover-up to focus the conversation on you.” 

Oikawa leaned back a little annoyed. Iwaizumi had caught him. “Well, she seemed troubled so - -” Oikawa abruptly stopped talking when Iwaizumi kicked him hard on his back, making him almost fall down. “IWA-CHAN!?!”

“You deserved that! Don’t poke your nose in to other people’s troubles! You are just delaying Kuroo and (Surname)’s reconciliation by acting your own.”

“I am just worried about her!”

“Well since you are so capable of caring, care about others too! This isn’t easy for Kuroo either!” 

Oikawa was taken aback. He hadn’t even thought about Kuroo in this situation. And when he started to think about it, it felt rather horrible… He knew that Kuroo was genuinely concerned about what had happened. And when Oikawa imagined himself in the situation where Kuroo was, he realized what Iwaizumi was saying.

“You finally get it, don’t you?” Iwaizumi asked. Oikawa had become rather gloomy, staring in the distance thinking about his actions.

“Yeah…” 

“Good. Make sure you fix it.” Iwaizumi said before continuing walking. After he noticed Oikawa hadn’t followed him, he stopped and looked at his friend. Oikawa shot his eyes up, determined.

“Iwa-chan, go ahead! I have something to do!” He quickly ran towards the barracks. He knew if he was fast enough he could catch Kuroo before he headed somewhere else. 

Iwaizumi sighed while smiling, “Sure. Good luck.”

* * *

Your first-aid equipment had finally arrived! Dr. Takeda had even given you a handy first aid kit, it was small but versatile and had straps you could put on your body so it wouldn’t impede your movement. It had taken time to organize the items and there was still lot to do, so the doctor had decided that you would finish in the morning.

As you were passing through the Rookies barracks you collided with Terushima. There wasn’t anyone else in sight.

“Well hello (Surname), how have you liked it here?”, he asked sarcastically, irritating smile on his face. You walked past him but unfortunately he started to follow you. _Is he really still at it?_ “(Surname) I told you not to be shy around me! Please let’s chat little bit.”

“I afraid I have no time for chit chatting.”

“Pff, like you would be rushing somewhere. You just want to live easily and collect gratitude when the war ends, don’t you?” You glanced the man unimpressed, _he has to be stupid to believe that…_

Terushima hated how you acted like you wouldn’t be troubled about his words. _Let’s add some gasoline to the flames then._ “Oh yes, I have heard rumors about you. Supposedly, you sleep with the Elites so you can slack off! Everybody knows that you aren’t doing your best here… and for some reason only the Elite’s don’t seem to see it!” 

This made you angry. The Elites really hadn’t pushed you to do your best so you also weren’t willing to show off your talents. They weren’t taking you seriously after all so why would you be either. You were almost at your room but Terushima didn’t back off. Once you would get Mashur out, there wouldn’t be any problems but before you could do that Terushima opened his mouth once again.

“I heard that you were the only one survive of a mission that failed. Is it true?” You halted just before your door. How did he know about this? _That information was supposed to stay hidden._ You mind couldn’t process what was going on.

Terushima smirked. _Got ya ~_

“But it makes no sense… why haven’t you collected all the awards for that? I heard you could have gotten a medal from it; you could have gone home as a hero but you didn’t show up to the ceremony! Hahah, I heard your uncle was furious when he heard!” 

_My uncle…_ How did Terushima know about your uncle’s reaction when you hadn’t told anyone about it? It had happened in Eagle Gardens, and only ones who heard his shouting were... 

_…of course._

You remembered. After your uncle had raged and left, you had gone to continue your duties when you had bumped into a soldier in the hall way. Only now did you realize why he had smiled so pleasantly back then. _That Tendoo… he heard._

You had had enough but before you could reach for your door Terushima gripped your shirt from the neck and pressed you against the wall. You tried to push him away but couldn’t muster up the strength to do so. He looked so amused. Without your dog, tired from the nightmares, and from yesterday’s training, you could hardly protect yourself. You were weak.

“I’m sorry, I have asked so many questions I already know the answers… I know what you are (Surname).” He brought his face so close to yours that you could smell his breath. You lowered your head, making your hair brush Terushima’s nose and cheeks. “You are that ‘ _traitor’s wife_ ’ after all.” 

Your eyes widened and your body trembled when you heard what he had called you. 

“You were the reason why that mission failed, weren’t you?” 

“Shut up.” Anger and panic was building within you.

“No wonder you were the only one who got aw - -”

“ **SHUT UP!** ”, you screamed. You didn’t want to hear about it. You didn’t want to remember. You didn’t want to think about what had happened. You didn’t want to blame yourself again from what happened back then. Not again.

_“Just you and me, okay?”_

Suddenly you felt strong force rip Terushima off of you, throwing him to the ground. A tall shadow stepped between you. You raised your gaze and saw only black. An Elite. A tall man with broad back and black messy hair. Terushima looked horrified as Kuroo stood there, staring him down. His cat-like eyes looked deadly. 

“What the fuck was that just now, Rookie?” 

Terushima felt like he was against a beast once again; it felt like he was an injured bird in front of a hungry panther, like he had no chance of survival. 

“I-it was just talking- -”

“Shut the fuck up. Do you really think I buy that?” Kuroo stepped closer the male who was now pressed against the wall. After a short stare down, Kuroo seemed to relent. He offered his hand to help the Rookie up. Hesitantly, Terushima gripped it and was pulled up but before Kuroo let the smaller man go, he pulled him close and poisonously whispered, “Listen up, punk. If I ever find you with (Surname) again I will demolish you. Do you copy?”

“C-c-copy t-that!” 

“Good. Now get out of my sight.” 

Terushima rushed back to the tracts he had followed you, towards the Rookie barracks. Kuroo had been taking a nap in the lounge when he heard someone talking to you. He had listened a while before realizing the situation you had been in. Your stressed shout had made him act. You seemed little shaken.

When Kuroo took step at you, you took a step back. Kuroo flinched little.

“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to pressure you!” Kuroo felt like a fool as he took a couple steps back. He was bowing his head little, laughing awkwardly, scratching his hairline on his neck. He was losing his words again, feeling troubled. “I’m sorry (Name).” 

You looked baffled at him. Terushima’s words were still ringing in your head so you didn’t understand what Kuroo had just said.

“I’m truly sorry (Name).” Kuroo said quietly, looking at the floor. 

“It’s alright”, you said almost as quietly. This made Kuroo rise his gaze, stunned, golden eyes wide open. This startled you, “I mean I accept your apology..!” 

Kuroo gulped. He felt… happy somehow; he hadn’t noticed how much this matter had bothered him. Even when Oikawa had apologized for his irritating actions he hadn’t figured out. He straightened up, “Ah, thank you. I w-will respect your thoughts more in the future. That’s a promise!”

You just nodded. For a moment you both stood there in silence, not knowing how to proceed. Kuroo coughed little, getting your attention again.

“S-so, does he disturb you often?” Kuroo asked carefully, not wanting to scare you away. He tried to sound warm like Daichi always sounded, not really succeeding in it. 

You silently looked at the hallway. Terushima was long gone. You found it funny how quickly Terushima had given in after Kuroo appeared. The Elite sure were well respected and feared. 

To Kuroo’s surprise, you turned at him while digging your keys from the pocket. “He d-does that from time to time.” _I promised Daichi at least to try…_

“Hee?” Kuroo checked the hallway once again to make sure there was nobody there. He was feeling a bit happy since you didn’t ignore him. You had the right to do so after all. “Terushima always gets overexcited about girls. He’s childish and thinks too much about himself but this was the first time I’ve seen him so hostile.” You stopped for a moment. Kuroo saw your expression turn slightly uneasy. 

“Haha.. Really?” You bit your lips in the way that said that you probably had something to do with that hostility. A small sweat drop appeared on your temple and you avoided eye contact with Kuroo. He thought you looked kind of cute like that. 

“Oho ho..? What have you done to him, (Name)?” Kuroo asked, slightly amused. 

Another sweat drop appeared on your temple. 

“I kind of… threw him to the ground and instructed Mashur to rip his balls off on the day I arrived here.” Your furry companion rushed out as soon as you opened the door. He had heard you screaming, and was happy to see you and check out the situation. Mashur squirmed all over you, nudging you with his head and barking to get your attention.

Kuroo stared wide-eyed at you. He watched you stop this bear cub… no… this huge dog from barking, while trying to catch up with what you had said about ripping some balls off. When you saw the expression on the Elite’s face you started to panic.

“O-of course I didn’t let Mashur to do it!” 

“Pffft!!” The black haired male burst out laughing. The hallway echoed as he laughed. He tried to say something but his laughing didn’t allow it. “Hahah why didn’t you - - ppfff haha!!” He had to turn away to try to calm down, “Hahaha oh my god, haha!” 

You could see him wipe tears away. A sweat drop on your face you watched the male fight down his laughter. _Was it really that funny…?_ It was surprising how warm Kuroo’s laugh felt. 

Mashur pushed you, signaling that he wanted to go for a walk.

“Er, Kuroo we will go now”, you called out, but the man was still leaning on the wall, his back at you. Finally, after calming down, he turned to see you go but then noticed something that bothered him.

“You are not using a leash?” 

“Um, it’s not really needed”, you said while patting Mashur’s head. The dog looked in your (e/c) eyes and gave a small nudge to your arm. It was weird how this one simple creature could make you feel so safe. “We are connected on so many levels; I don’t need to question him…” without realizing your whole being had turned relaxed, and your voice was turned warm, “…we are partners after all.”

Kuroo looked at you hypnotized, suddenly realizing how much he wanted to see your smile. But before he could say anything happen, you shook out you daze. You tensed up once again and he could tell you were wary of everything. You quietly thanked him for saving you from Terushima and said goodbye before heading towards the outdoor. 

“…We could be partners like that too you know…” Kuroo muttered quietly to himself as he watched you slip outside. He rubbed his neck to try to stop feeling flustered.

His heart was pounding.

_Shieeet… this will turn into a problem._   



	5. A step forward

After a month in Crow’s Nest, you had passed all the needed tests to get into the real action. The first thing you did was lead a morning run with Sugawara. Although some Rookies found it hard to take commands from a woman, they knew who you were and didn’t want to take the risk of disobeying you. Commander Ukai had suggested you to try to truly keep up with Elites, which meant you had to go on missions with them AND take care of Rookies; the faster you got accustomed to the life of an Elite the easier it was for you to start to work as one.

The weather was warm and sunny as Daichi leaded you towards a communication center. You were given your own headset and other equipment needed to communicate in a warzone. As you walked into the main room of the building, there were just two people in attendance: a man with short blonde hair, glasses and headphones who was sitting at computer and a freckled male with short black hair who was watching the screen. The dark haired man noticed your arrival first, tapped the blonde’s shoulder, and nodded at you.

“I hope you are doing something significant and not just playing”, Daichi said in warning tone. The blonde lowered the headphones to his shoulders and frowned. “The day is too pretty to be spent inside.” Daichi sounded like a father nagging at his sons. You had seen the two many times before, they hung out with Hinata often, but you had never actually met them.

“We ran the laps already. It’s too hot outside now so we came here to wait for you”, the blonde answered in a monotonous tone before turning his attention at you. For some reason, the black haired man seemed to be nervous about your presence. 

“I’m sure you did!” Daichi said sarcastically, “(Surname), these men are Tsukishima Kei and Yamaguchi Tadashi. Tsukishima is part of the communication team, making sure we know what others are thinking when there’s distance between us.” 

Daichi looked around little before continuing, “There’s also Kenma, but it seems he’s out right now.” 

“Kenma had to redo his mobility training so he’s practicing with Kuroo”, Yamaguchi said and turned to you, looking a little nervous. “U-um, Kenma and Tsukki are strategists; they guide soldiers from a safe distance and give them information about the movements of the enemy.”

“I see”, you said while nodding before glancing at Tsukishima who seemed to be annoyed with his friend.

“Yamaguchi why are you telling those things. Captain is here to explain things to her.”

“S-sorry!” Yamaguchi gasped.

Daichi laughed, “It is alright Yamaguchi.” He turned to you and smiled, “Yamaguchi is a sniper who assist and protect our communication team. The communication between us is vital for success in the warzone. Yamaguchi’s work is very important!”

Yamaguchi blushed as the captain praised him and laughed awkwardly, flattered. Tsukishima brought you your items: a light military headset, a small voice recorder, and a complex looking wristwatch. 

“The recorder is used only if you have solo missions or if you lose connection to us. It will help you to keep on track of you, help us gather information, and send in reports.” You already knew this, but didn’t mention it; Tsukishima seemed to get easily annoyed. He handed the watch to you. “The time matches ours precisely, so you can’t fuck your timing up because of the clock. It also records your pulse and body temperature, and sends the information to our computers every 15 seconds.”

Yamaguchi handed you a chip smaller than your thumb nail. He explained that the chip revealed your location on the map and advised you to attach it some place safe in your clothes. Tsukishima warned you that if the chip got in touch with water, it would shut down but reappear after being dried properly. Daichi watched you explore your new equipment and noticed that you watched the recorder troubled.

“What’s wrong (Surname)? You seem hesitant.” Daichi asked, making Tsukishima and Yamaguchi turn to you. 

“It’s just that I already have a tape voice recorder that I normally use.” 

Tsukishima looked you blankly before smirking condescendingly at you. “A tape recorder? What century are you from? Nowadays you don’t need a tape to listen to recordings… Ah! Sorry, it must come as a great shock to you.” 

Yamaguchi laughed a little but quieted immediately when he saw your face.

A vein bulged on your forehead, “Watch your words or I might make you run extra laps next time I hold the morning run.” 

This made Tsukishima really irritated and caused him to start glaring down at you. You would have glared back but Daichi appeared and squeeze your and Tsukishima’s shoulders firmly.  
“Are you fighting?” He asked as he gave out a death aura, though he smiled sweetly. Both of you gulped. “Hm?”

“No sir.” You both said in unison. 

“Good! Well then, (Surname) and I have to head to the next practice.” Daichi walked towards the door but stopped before going through it. He turned to the duo behind him, “You are coming too, right?” Tsukishima clicked his tongue silently and gave a fake smile to the captain.

“Well, of course we are coming! We just have to shut the computers down before we follow.” 

Daichi smiled and gave them a playful glare before leaving: you followed close behind.

* * *

“A mission?” You repeated, shocked. The order had come unexpectedly. Your reaction made everybody at the round table look at you, amused. You stared at the captain, blinking confusedly. 

“Mhmm, you are participating on a mission with Oikawa and Akaashi. You are to head to Chitac to assist the local police force in securing the public presence of a politician.” Daichi confirmed, “They need snipers to stop antagonists from reaching him and you are to escort him out of the town afterwards.”

“R-right… and my job is to secure his health if something goes wrong?” _Please don’t say I need to use a sniper rifle, please don’t say it._

“Exactly.” 

You released the breath you didn’t realize you were holding – the chance you don’t kill anyone rose up to 80%. Relief was visible on your face. Oikawa laughed at you before covering his mouth playfully.

“Haha! Oh (Name)-chan, you thought you would need to assist us as a sniper, didn’t you?” You glared at the man. It was annoying how he could read your mind from a single look on your face. Oikawa just smirked. “Fortunately for you we have just enough talented snipers. Maybe next time then ~ ”

Sugawara smiled, troubled as your upper lip started to twitch, “Oikawa-san you shouldn’t annoy her right before the mission.” 

Oikawa just smiled and waved his concerns away.

“Don’t worry, (Name)-chan knows I’m just playing around!” 

Oikawa got a cold glare from you before you rose up and left to prepare for the mission. Truthfully, Oikawa’s clowning around didn’t really bother you anymore but it wasn’t a reason enough to start accepting his inappropriate behavioral. Back in the room, Oikawa watched you leave, puzzled. Did you really get mad? 

Iwaizumi leaned in towards his friend, “You know, (Surname) once said that playing around with her was the worst mistake anybody could make with her. If I remember correctly, she almost twisted an arm off a soldier when he said he was ‘just playing around’ with her.”

Oikawa was horrified, “IWA-CHAN, tell me these things sooner!”

* * *

The politician’s presentation was scheduled to be held the next day, which meant you needed to travel the whole day to reach your destination. As Matsukawa and Hanamaki were loading their vehicles, Oikawa called everyone to the front: as a chef sniper, he was leading the mission.

“Okay let’s see who have here ~ ”, he sang slyly as he scanned the group. Besides him, Akaashi, and the drivers, there were three Rookies, including you. 

It wasn’t surprising that Kageyama was taking part in this mission – he was the best shooter amongst the Rookies and was already part of the assisting forces to the Elites. This wasn’t clearly his first mission, since he seemed confident and calm.

There were two dark haired soldiers you had seen before but you couldn’t remember their names. They seemed to be on good terms and seemed to know Oikawa well, since they chatted casually with him. However, despite their friendliness, you could tell that they really respected him. 

“So we have Akaashi, Tobio-chan, (Name)-chan, Kunimi, Kindaichi, the dork drivers… Hmm? Looks like we are missing one.” Oikawa said calmly before turning to you, “(Name)-chan, where is your doggie?” 

Everyone turned their eyes on you. 

“E-eh?”, you breathed out. Oikawa waited for your answer patiently, tilting his head little. “Mashur is with Iwaizumi right now. He promised to take care of him while I’m gone…” 

Iwaizumi seemed to be only person Mashur listened – one day you had noticed that Mashur had approached the Elite on his own. Since this rarely happened, you trained Mashur to accept Iwaizumi let him order the canine around if you were away. Well, you had only taught him basic orders like ‘stay’, ‘come’, ‘go’ and ‘follow’, but it was enough to manage him for now.

“Hmm, okay”, Oikawa said, satisfied. He pressed some buttons on his walkie-talkie before saying, “Hey Iwa-chan… Let Mashur out, I want him to join us!” Iwaizumi said something back him which made Oikawa laugh little. “But I really want him! It would be good to have him so (Name)-chan wouldn’t need to feel so troubled. It’s her first mission with us you know ~ “

“S-sir, I can manage!” _What was he thinking?_ You started to feel anxious; your departure was getting delayed because of you and Mashur. Soon, Mashur appeared from behind the corner and you watched his ears perk up. Seeing him, you felt somehow relieved. This didn’t slip Oikawa and as he gazed at you, his eyes glitter with satisfaction. _Ah Kuroo was right, the dog really does make her relax._ He squinted his eyes, and hid his smile with the walkie-talkie. _Look how cute and happy you look (Name)-chan_. Oikawa was brought out of his thoughts by Iwaizumi’s voice.

“Ah, yeah he just arrived”, Oikawa answered as he watched the canine rub against your legs and fawn over you. “Well, we will get going now! Thank you and byee ~ ” 

Still feeling a little troubled about the sudden decision of taking Mashur to the mission, you turned to Oikawa. As you were about to apologize for the trouble, Oikawa shut you up.

“I won’t take any kind of complaints about this decision of mine!” He argued while wagging his finger playfully. He turned to look at you and Mashur with a satisfied smile on his face, “Don’t over think this (Name)-chan, I just want to see do your best.”

“Yes sir.” You blinked and glanced at your dog. “I won’t complain.” 

“Good! Now then… Everyone, let’s move out!”

* * *

The ride to Chitac was rather comfortable. Oikawa made sure that Mashur wasn’t stuffed in a transport crate – the dog sat satisfied in the trunk next to their equipment. Matsukawa and Hanamaki had objected at first but after Oikawa had started whining quickly gave in; you had tried not to look too mocking or satisfied at this.

Many hours later you arrived Chitac. Upon arrival, you found that the politician had acquired the group a place to sleep for the night.

-

The presentation was held in the town square. After the buildings around the town square had been checked, the snipers took their places. They were placed in buildings around the podium where the politician would be standing, giving them clear lines of sight all around. You and Mashur were the only ones placed on the ground; you were standing only six meters away the politician in the shadows, ready to act if needed.

If someone approached the politician and Oikawa couldn’t act, you would step in. If the politician was in danger, it was your duty to get him safe no matter what. Nervous, you gulped when the presentation started and attracted people towards it.

“[ _Be ready now. Watch and report every abnormalities._ ]” Oikawa said professionally. 

“[ _Copy that._ ]” 

“Copy that”, you said as your brushed Mashur’s ear. The German shepherd pricked up his ears – he was ready too. 

As the presentation went on, nothing happened; there were no abnormalities. No suspicious movements. Nothing. People listened peacefully. After an hour and a half, the politician ended his presentation and stepped back. Some people clapped for him while others just walked away. Your headset buzzed little.

“[ _(Surname)-san, stay close to him and escort him inside. Don’t let anyone approach him before we come._ ]”, Akaashi said as he collected his equipment. 

“Roger.” You walked to the politician and showed him your identification papers. At first he wanted to stay outside since the weather was beautiful, but you didn’t cave into his desires and led him inside, saying that it was for his safety. Before long, Oikawa and others arrived. Though everything had went smoothly, Oikawa seemed really serious; he hardly smiled and kept looking around. 

“/ _Sir, your ride has arrived. We will be escorting you and your family out of the town._ /” Akaashi spoke almost fluent Velarian, a local language, with a western dialect. The dialect surprised you, _so he is originally from the west huh?_ You recalled there was a naval base in the west part of the Merene, the base of Night Hunter.

After you had escorted the politician and his party to a safe distance, the politician thanked you. Still wary, Oikawa decided it would be better if the politician was safely escorted out of the town before returning to base and gave the job to Akaashi and Hanamaki. With nothing else to do, you waited with Oikawa and the others for their return. While you were waiting, you noticed that the district outside the city was pretty rugged - there was hardly anything living in the area and all the buildings seemed rundown. The few people seemed tired: many had ragged or stained clothes. 

At some point, you noticed two people approach the team. An old man walked while leaning on a stick - his back was hunched which made him look troubled. He had his left hand inside his shirt. He was either limb or was just resting it. Behind him was a boy no older than fourteen. He looked at the older man, worried. 

Kageyama also noticed their presence and immediately decided that he didn’t like the them. 

“Sir, two people are approaching from the right”, he said severely. His eyes were locked in them. The others turned their attention on the duo as well. 

Kunimi squinted.

“The gramps is carrying something under his shirt, sir”, he said while shading his eyes from the sun in order to see. Kunimi was right – you could see some faint edges on the fabric; there was something angular under his shirt. You felt chills go up your spine, _could it be a bomb?_

It wouldn’t be the first time. The Blood Brothers (and the organization’s supporters) tried to attack the Allied Guards as often as possible. Their hostility had only grown lately and didn’t care about their surroundings anymore; they had even taken to attacking innocents, often via suicidal attacks.

Oikawa had a serious and cold expression on his face and soon he gave signal to be ready. He approached the old man and boy while holding his riffle in his hands, “/ _Stop there._ /” Hearing him, you cringed. You knew that on this mission, every soldier had to be able to give and understand common orders in Velarian. Still, you thought that Oikawa’s pronunciation was horrible. 

The man stopped, wobbling dangerously. The man tried to shout something but Oikawa’s voice cut him off.

“/ _Show hands!_ /” Oikawa shouted as he fixed his grip on the gun. 

The old man looked at Oikawa, confused, and made no move to obey. He took a small wobbly step forward and shouted about something. You listened carefully, _he said something… about his hand_. You observed the old man and boy, the latter was getting anxious.

When the man took another step, Oikawa raised his gun and took aim. “/ _Freeze! Show hands!_ /” The others followed his lead, taking aim. The boy paled and gripped the older man’s sleeve. The man seemed to be terrified but hid it for the sake of the boy. He tried to shout again something.

“/ _We mean no harm - -_ /” His voice was weak, as you could expect. Oikawa shut him again.

“/ _No further!_ /” 

_If he has a bomb even a step further is too much_ , he thought, alermed. 

Still the man took another little step ahead, to get closer, to make them hear him. The soldiers tensed up before Oikawa shouted furious at the man. 

“/ _Hands up or we shoot!!_ /“ Everyone looked at the man and the boy murderously, as if they were enemies. They weren’t afraid to pull the trigger. They were ready to shoot if the man came even one step closer. 

You decided you had had enough.

“ARE YOU IDIOTS EVEN LISTENING TO HIM?!”, you shouted at the snipers. The anger in your voice made every man flinch. After lowering your gun you walked between Oikawa and the old man. Oikawa watched you, alermed.

“G-go back to your position (Name)-chan. It’s dangerous!” You ignored him and stepped closer to the strangers while Mashur moved beside Oikawa. The man seemed to be cautious of you and the boy was trembling behind him. You could tell he was close to tears. You breathed in and out, calming yourself down before talking to them.

“/ _Father, please show us your hands._ /” You tried not to sound threatening, but the fact was that there were four snipers pointing their guns at them hardly made them feel safe. The older man observed you carefully, before answering. His voice was hoarse and high but you could make out his words.

“/ _I afraid I can’t, daughter. I’m cripple… my left arm hasn’t moved in years._ /”  
You examined him and noticed signs of a past stroke. It seemed that his left leg was the weaker of the two, and left side of his face was limb. 

“/ _Can I trust your words?_ /” You asked while looking directly to his eyes. The man straightened up little. 

“/ _Yes! By my blood and my soul!_ /”

_That was what I wanted to hear_ , you thought as you thanked him. You unloaded your gun and set it on the ground. Seeing this, Oikawa was lost his temper.

“(Surname)! Pick up your gun and move aside!” _She can speak Velarian? What is happening there?!_ You glanced at Oikawa. Your eyes said all there was to be said, ‘Shut up and don’t interfere’. Oikawa gulped, what he could do? You weren’t listening to him, and if there was a bomb you would both would be doomed. He couldn’t shoot since you were blocking the way. 

You walked toward the man, _for better or worse here I go_. After stopping in front of him, you smiled faintly and carefully peeked inside his shirt. His hand was empty, stiffened into a half fist. There was just a box of some sweets inside his shirt. You touched it slightly and noticed it was too light to be a bomb. The man waited patiently and the boy watched you handling his grandfather tenderly. _He has no hands to carry the box, so of course he would put it there_. You patted his body thoroughly. There was nothing.

“It’s clear! Put your guns down!”, you shouted after you were sure there was nothing that could cause harm. As you helped the man sit down in the shadows, you noticed that Kageyama had yet to lower his gun. Seeing him glaring at the boy, who trembled under his gaze made anger flare within you. “Kageyama, it means you too” , you ordered sharply.

“You didn’t check him… he could be hiding a gun or a grenade or an actual bomb!” He refused to lower his gun. Abruptly, you stood up and walked to the boy who flinched when he saw you coming. You calmed yourself down, since there was no reason to scare him.

“/ _It’s all right. I have to check you so they can calm down, okay?_ /”, you said warmly as you leaned down to talk to the boy. He nodded, a little scared. “/ _No need to be scared, child. I will not let them hurt you._ /” 

The boy had only chocolate bars and some little trinkets like shiny rocks and buttons in his pocket. You noticed that he had long scar on his throat. _Is he mute..?_

After the security check up you turned to Kageyama and Oikawa, annoyed. “Clear, as I said. Now leave them alone.” Kageyama glared at you; he felt insecure even though you had checked them. Oikawa stared you quietly before unloading his gun. 

“It is clear. Relax.” 

The boy followed you to his grandfather to the shadows. After sitting next to him you bent your head down to show that you were sorry. “/ _I sincerely apologize for my team’s actions towards you!_ /” 

There was a short silence before you felt a tender hand stroke your head. “/ _There is no need for apologies since no harm occurred to us, child. You were just doing your duty._ /” You nodded mildly and lifted your chin when the man raised his hand from your hair. The old man smiled though the left side of his mouth hardly moved. 

You turned to the young boy and noticed that he was staring, enthralled with the car you had arrived in. His eyes sparkled as Matsukawa moved the car in the shadows again. His eyes and mouth were wide open. The old man laughed, “/ _Harrien, a fly will fly to your mouth again if you stare with it open._ /” 

The boy blushed and shut his mouth. But when he turned his attention towards the vehicle again, his mouth started to open again. The old man turned to you, “/ _My grandson is really into vehicles and technology. He is best in his class in mathematics and physics, but he has shown talent in languages too… Harrien understood you whole time I bet… he just can’t express himself._ /” 

The boy reacted to his name and seemed to get little sad. You felt bad for the boy... so you came up with something that would really cheer him up. 

“/ _Harrien, if you want you can go explore the car a little. The driver is a really nice guy; he would love to show you a thing or two._ /” 

Harrien’s ears almost literally perked up when he heard his name and the words ‘car’ and ‘explore’. He turned to look at you, his green eyes wide open. After an encouraging nod and approval from his grandfather, the boy stood up and walked closer to the car. Kageyama tensed up a little as the boy approached, but you were a step ahead of him. 

With one click to you headset, you connected to Kageyama, “Harrien is just a child who loves cars. Let. Him. Be.” 

Kageyama startled a little to hear your voice so suddenly. After regaining his bearings, he glared at you icily before turning his attention back to the boy. His eyebrows furrowed little.

“[ _Stop that._ ]” Your voice was as severe as your expression. 

“I didn’t do anything!”, Kageyama said, offended. 

“[ _Liar._ ]”,you said, as you turned off the connection. 

Matsukawa watched the boy, confused. The child with sparkling eyes had just appeared out of nowhere. Harrien circled the car that he was sitting in. He peeked inside without saying a word and touched the wheels before peeking in again. _W-what is happening here?_

“Umm, do you like cars?” He asked carefully as he patted the side of the vehicle. “You know… Car. Um, / _c-car_ / or something like that…” Harrien watched Matsukawa eyes wide open and nodded shyly. “Oh I see.” The boy just kept staring at him but when nothing else happened he got little depressed and continued his exploration of the car from the outside. Matsukawa turned to look at you confused, then he tapped his headset gently. You connected him. 

“Umm, am I supposed to do something? He seemed to get depressed for some reason.”

“[ _Try explaining about the car; he seems to be really interested in how they work_ ]”, you said while watching Harrien peek under the car.

“Eeh… but will he understand me? The boy seems really quiet…”

“[ _Harrien is mute… so he’ll understands everything you say but won’t be able to respond._ ]” Matsukawa still seemed a little hesitant so you decided to sugarcoat it for him, “[ _You know he thought you seemed like a really nice person and seems to really respect you._ ”

Matsukawa was baffled and when he glanced Harrien smiling to him, felt his hear melt. He shut the connection off and walked to the boy who was now looking in the car’s tailpipe. “Hey, since you like this car so much, do you want to peek inside?” Harrien thought the proposition over for a second before jumping up, nodding excitedly. 

His grandfather laughed merrily as he watched his grandson get into the driver’ seat. His eyes glittered with happiness and excitement as Matsukawa showed him how the lights and windscreen wiper worked. 

“/ _Harrien has always been a sweet child. He is always curious but also caring and tender…_ /” The old man said affectionately, before his expression became expressionless. His eyes dimmed. “/ _His father didn’t like it. He wanted Harrien to become a soldier, to fight for the Blood Brothers. To bring him honor by striking down ‘the Impure King’. But Harrien isn’t a soldier… and when his father found out that his son had been learning foreign languages, he took his voice._ /”

You stared at the boy while he turned the steering wheel with Matsukawa laughing beside him. Though you were quite a distance away, the scar on the boy’s throat was still visible. You remembered hearing someone once say how the Blood Brother’s forced their sons pick up guns and senselessly kill for their cause. The children often didn’t want to do it but there was an established hierarchy in Merenese culture; boys had to obey their fathers, those who didn’t obey paid the price with blood.

“/ _He must have gone through a hard recovery to get that far. Does his father know that he is alive? What happened to him?_ /”

The old man shut his eyes and took a deep breath. He had a flashback to that moment when he saw that man trying to kill his own son. “/ _Let’s just say that I saved what there was to be saved…_ /” and you understood. _Ah, that man isn’t bothering them anymore._

You felt relieved. 

Matsukawa turned at you again and you saw that his eyes sparkled almost as much as the boy’s. He pointed the car and the boy and signed a steering wheel at you. He seemed to be asking for permission. “/ _Ah, our driver would like to take your grandchild for a ride. He is asking your permission, father._ /” 

The old man watched how his grandchild watched at him, practically begging. The boy who never asked for anything was finally begging. The old man laughed and gave a thumb up, making the boy almost cry from happiness and beam at his grandfather.

“Okay then! Jump to the front seat, and put the seat belt on”, Matsukawa laughed as he sat on the driver’s seat. He started the car, drove a little bit before making handbrake turn and zipping away. The resulting sand cloud covered the whole area, making everyone cough. 

“SHOW OFF!” Oikawa shouted, annoyed as sand stung in his eye. All he could hear was the old man laughing somewhere nearby. Oikawa had been monitoring you this whole time, watching you communicate with the old man, even smiling a little. Although it was ridiculous, he felt jealous; an old man could make you relax and smile but he couldn’t and that frustrated him beyond belief. 

Soon Akaashi and Hanamaki arrived followed by Matsukawa and his new friend a little later. The boy ran to his grandfather, babbling excited. He ran his mouth even though no sound came out of his mouth; he had so much to say. His grandfather just nodded and listened happily. 

“(Surname)-san, we need to get going!” Akaashi announced. He wondered what had happened when he escorting the politician: the Rookies seemed to be ashamed and Oikawa annoyed. However, what surprised him the most was how naturally you communicated with the locals. Nobody had even known that you could speak Velarian. 

“/ _Harrien, you should go thank the uncle who was nice to you._ /” The boy jumped up again and ran to Matsukawa, digging his pockets for something. He seemed to finally find what he was looking for and handed some chocolate bars to the messy haired man, silently mouthing ‘thank’ and ‘you’ before beaming at him.

“You’re welcome, buddy!” Matsukawa said and ruffled his hair. 

As you got up from your position, the old man asked you to wait so you leaned back down. He pulled the box from under his shirt and gave it to you. You looked at him, confused.

“/ _I own a little shop near the river and learned over time that you foreign sons and daughters love these crackers!_ /” You glanced the box and couldn’t disagree, he had given you (favorite type of creckers/cookies/biscuits), almost everyone had these in their childhood and grew to love them. However, you probably couldn’t buy them anymore from the shops in (country) so you were surprised to see them. “/ _I decided to bring them to you as a sign of gratitude._ /”

“/ _T-thank you, father! We have missed eating there!_ /” You said while thanking him profusely. There was a childish delight in your eyes that sparkled when you looked at the box. The old man shook his head and placed his wrinkled hand against your cheek.

“/ _I’m the one who is thanking you, child. Thank you for protecting our country when we are incapable of doing so ourselves. Thank you, for keeping them away. I truly believe that you will bring us peace someday._ /” His words left you speechless.

-

As the old man and Harrien waved their goodbyes in the distance, you stood still, pressing the box against your chest. “ _I truly believe that you will bring us peace someday._ ” Mashur came to your side and sniffed your elbow. Oikawa gathered some courage before approached you.

“Hey (Name)-chan ~ “, he sang, building towards a tease. Little did he know the anger you felt towards his actions was only building up. Mashur glanced you. Noticing your anger, his ears lowered and he moved aside. Oikawa missed this telling action and continued, “Now that they’ve left we shou- -”

An item suddenly collided with his forehead with so much power that he was momentarily dazed. He fell to ground and could only hold his forehead shocked. There was a box of (favorite crackers/cookies/biscuits) on his chest. Oikawa turned to demand and explanation but couldn’t speak when he saw your face; you looked furious.

“What’s the matter Oikawa? Aren’t you scared of that bomb?”, you asked mockingly, your (e/c) eyes darkening in anger. You glanced at Kageyama, Kunimi and Kindaichi before continuing, “Do you even understand what you did today?! You almost shot a civilian for a box of (favorite crackers/cookies/biscuits)!! Are you fucking stupid?!” 

Guilt and shame hit them hard, Kageyama was about to start shout back at you in self-defense but Matsukawa held him back. When he turned to him angrily, he stopped at the stony glint in his eyes. Kageyama bit his lip and turned to glare at you instead. 

“T-that man _thanked_ you for protecting this country! You pointed guns at him a-and he still thanked you!! And it pisses me off…!” You felt overwhelmed by the confusion and anger they’d caused. _Some Elites they are..._

Akaashi watched wide-eyed the interaction. _What happened here?_ You took a deep breath and tried to calm down, making your way back to the car. Oikawa got up with the box as you walked past him and tried to apologize. “I-I’m so-…” 

“Don’t talk to me right now.”

“Ah… o-okay”, he answered and let you go. 

The trip back home was silent and tense. Oikawa wanted to talk things over with you but he saw that you were still irate. You just stared outside the window but whenever you saw him glancing at you, would furrow your brows angrily and turn back to ignore him. Akaashi heard what had happened from the Rookies but couldn’t scold their actions since they had followed Oikawa’s lead.

* * *

When you arrived Crow’s Nest, it was dark but noisy since Daichi and others were waiting outside to welcome you back home. 

“Welcome back everyone! We prepared a hearty meal for your safe return!”, Daichi said happily. However, when he saw how gloomy and downbeat people were, he and the others became concerned.

“U-um did something bad happen?”, Sugawara asked, troubled. You seemed to be really pissed he noted; watching you jerkily take your stuff and whistle to Mashur to follow you. Even the canine kept his distance from you. Akaashi shook his head at the others when you turned your back at him, making your way through the path the Elites had made for you. _What an angry little bee we have!_

Oikawa walked to them, dejected, holding the cracker box in his hand. Bokuto and Kuroo hooted happily when they saw the package. “UAAAHH!!! Those are my favorite crackers!! Where did you get those?!”, they shouted at the same time. 

Oikawa didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Akaashi explained what had happened as they walked towards the lounge. “Eeh? Oikawa, how did that happen?” Daichi asked troubled.

“I don’t knoooow ~”, he whined defeatedly, “My mind just shut all other options out of my mind. All I could think about was that he was a possible threat…” Oikawa slumped onto the sofa and refused to face the others. “I feel so stupid… (Name)-chan hates me for sure!”

“I d-don’t think it is like that!” Sugawara said, trying to comfort him. But everyone knew, actually it is quite possible. Once someone, like Kageyama, earned your disdain, you wouldn’t t get over it anytime soon. “That happens to everyone Oikawa!”

Bokuto agreed, “Yeah! Sometimes you just lose it. Like… you feel like everyone wants to kill you, so you… kind of… get ready to… to kill them all.” He stared into the distance stupidly before giving up and lounging on the sofa.

“Just where did pull that one from, dude?” Kuroo asked a bit irritatedly before turning to Oikawa, “But seriously… she forgave me too, you know.” _Eventually. After she seriously tried to kill me in a training sessions and then avoided me like the plague._ Kuroo sweatdropped before continuing, “And that situation was pretty fucked up too, wasn’t it?” 

Oikawa raised his head to see Kuroo looming over him. He felt little better, _If that lowlife can be forgiven then surely I can be too._

“What did your brick-head just think?” Kuroo asked, feeling annoyed for some inexplicable reason.

* * *

The next morning you met everyone in the lounge as they were getting ready for the breakfast. But as you appeared they suddenly started to run out.

“Ooooh look how time flies! Bokuto we were supposed to have gone already”, Kuroo said while faking his surprise. Bokuto didn’t even get the hint first.

“Hm? Where to?” But when Kuroo gave him ‘ _play-along-you-fucker_ ’ expression Bokuto suddenly seemed to remember that they were indeed were in a hurry. As the two of them left, Iwaizumi came to you.

“I can t-take Mashur for a run…”. Though it wasn’t the first time he had asked, he seemed so troubled by it this time. Daichi and Sugawara also felt the ‘duties’ call them and slipped off. Now, only Akaashi and Oikawa were left. 

You watched the Elites' walk away unimpressed before turning at the snipers. You raised an eyebrown towards Akaashi. He just sighed and got up to leave but not before saying: “Please solve this before breakfast…” and promptly walked away. 

The only ones that now remained were you and Oikawa. When you looked at him, you noticed that he seemed really troubled and had dark circles under his eyes; he spent all night thinking about earning your forgiveness and didn’t want to upset you again. You tilted your head at the man’s fragile appearance. 

“What is it, Oikawa?” You finally sighed, making the man flinch. He looked into your eyes startled before stuttering out a reply.

“A-aah, I-I’m j-j-j-just th-thinki-thinking…” He couldn’t find the right words. Oikawa felt so stupid, so uncool. He had diverted his anger for Blood Brothers towards unarmed civilians and been so blinded by it that he had even hurt your feelings. 

Suddenly, you appeared, dangerously close to him and put your hand o his forehead. “Do you have a fever? You are trembling.” Oikawa felt his heart skip a beat and his face flare crimson in embarrassment. He shook your hand away.

“I-it’s not that!” 

While examining his face you noticed that there was a bump on his forehead. You wondered where he got it from and were about to ask him before remembering what had happened yesterday. _O-oh yeah… I threw the box at him._ Feeling guilty, you put your hand over the bump and rubbed it little, trying to soothe it. 

Oikawa startled at this. “W-what are you d-doing…?” 

“Does it hurt?”, you asked. Now that you had cooled down, you were ashamed about your outburst. You were easy to angry but usually forgot everything overnight unless the matter really troubled you. 

“A l-little”, he admitted. 

“Let’s put something cold on it, okay?” 

“Okay…” 

As you pressed ice on the bump, Oikawa plucked his courage and finally asked you: “Are you still mad at me (Name)?” Turning to face him, you saw that Oikawa looked morose, avoiding eye contact and nibbling his lower lip in stress. 

_So he was still worried about the yesterday_ , you thought. Well you kind of gathered from the Elites’ reactions.

“Maybe a little” you said, making Oikawa’s heart drop. “But then again I can understand why you acted like that. So I will forgive you.” You took the ice away and put cream on the bump. Oikawa continued looking down, despondent, until he registered what you had said and the looked up, beaming at you before calming down and grinning sheepishly. 

“Thank you…”

-

 

After a while, you and Oikawa went to get breakfast and met everyone in the canteen. They saw that everything was okay and felt relieved. 

However, you wouldn’t let the others off so easily.

“Weren’t you supposed to be in hurry?”, you asked, unimpressed while staring Bokuto and Kuroo. They flinched at the attention before fidgeting. When you turned your glance to Daichi and Suga they did the same.

“Y-yeah right! Eat fast boys! We were supposed to go already!”, Daichi said nervously as he started to eat faster. Everyone expect you, Akaashi and Oikawa followed his lead. You waited until everyone had stuffed their mouth full of food before nonchalantly saying,

“You guys are horrible liars…” 

They stopped and stared at you. With their cheeks full, they looked like guilty chipmunks. You shook your head in amusement before eating your breakfast t a more sedate pace.

* * *

“So you just noticed it?” you asked, as you observed your dog. 

Iwaizumi nodded, “Yeah… when I tried to pick up speed after warming up I noticed that he was limping.” 

Mashur had hurt his paw, probably during the yesterday’s mission. It wasn’t the first time this had happened, only one needle, branch, piece of glass or metal could hurt his paws but it worried you all the same. As you observed the paw you could see little wound between his pads. Though it had stopped bleeding, it had become infected and had to be painful.

You sighed. “I need to wash it and put some cream on it… probably bandage it too so bacteria or sand won’t get in the wound. Thank you for telling me about this.” 

Iwaizumi saw that you felt troubled. While putting a bandage was best for Mashur but hindered missions; you wouldn’t be able to take him with you for the next couple of days. “Have you ever used protective dog shoes on Mashur?”

As you put Mashur’s paw down you sighed again, “Yeah… I tried using them in the past but it just made everything more complicated. Mashur found them really uncomfortable and also lost traction when wearing them. Usually I just strap his paws with cloth but yesterday I didn’t have time to do it.” You looked at Mashur; he kept his paw up but didn’t whine, proof that he was used to this. 

“You know, we have capable technicians here. They could probably modify the shoes to better suit Mashur’s needs.” This caught your attention, _technicians?_ Your (e/c) eyes glittered curiosity. Looking at you, Iwaizumi was stuck by their sparkle for a moment before continuing. “Maybe you should meet them and ask if they could help Mashur. They know what they’re doing, some of the best in the field.” 

You blinked a couple of times while processing what he said before turning back to Mashur, who tilted his head curiously at the look on your face. “Well… it wouldn’t hurt to ask...”

After taking care of Mashur’s wound and bandaging his paw, you rushed to shooting practice. Oikawa and Sugawara had trained with you during the free time, and you were finally noticing results; they had adjusted your posture so that the recoil didn’t hurt your shoulder as much as it had before. By doing this, your aim also improved but you still had a long way to go; you rarely hit the targets dead-on.

After practices and the dinner, you checked out Mashur’s wound. The ointments you put on worked quite well, minimizing pain and infection. However, you noticed that he was still limping. Mindful of his injury, you walked slowly towards the workshop Iwaizumi had told you about.

Hanamaki was checking an engine when you arrived at the garages and noticed you as you were looking around, “Eh? (Surname)-san?”

“Good afternoon, sir.” Hanamaki turned slightly pink, embarrassed that you had called him ‘sir’… he was just a driver after all. But before he could comment on it you continued, “I’m looking for the workshop... It is here somewhere, isn’t it?”

Hanamaki stared at you blankly. _Is she… asking for directions?_ Hanamaki lips quirked up but quickly hid it and wiped his forehead with his arm before nodding, “Yeah it is… umm… go inside, to the end of that aisle, down the stairs and to your left. There is a large room at the end of the hall. They should be there.” 

“I see…” You were troubled by the stairs since Mashur would need to put weight on his injured paw; the dog was in pain even when he walked on solid ground but there was nothing you could do. Resigned, you sighed and moved to the door. “T-thank you!”

“Is everything okay?”

“Erm… Mashur hurt his paw yesterday and Iwaizumi suggested that I meet the technicians to see if they could help.” You held door open for Mashur, wincing slightly as he limped inside whit his tongue hanging long, a sign he was in distress. 

Hanamaki watched both of you sadly.

“Well, those guys will definitely find some kind of solution. They’re pretty enthusiastic workers who never give up. Good luck!” Hanamaki looked pretty upset as he lifted his thumb up as silent support.

You blinked a couple of times, confused but too distracted to think much of it. After thanking him again you stepped in after Mashur, leaving the light brown haired man to his work. When you faced the stairs Mashur halted, he didn’t want to pressure his paw anymore. After a sigh, you lowered yourself down next to the dog before ducking your head under his belly. You gripped his legs and after readying yourself you stood up, lifting Mashur onto your shoulders.

“Phuaaaa!! You’ve gained weight!” You nagged and teased as you lifted about 50 kilogram dog up. Mashur groaned uncomfortable and hid his face in your shoulder, ashamed. After letting him down he fawned happily and squirmed around you, limping little. You huffed in exertion and told him, “You better walk back up on your own…” 

You both took a left and came to a room. You could hear mumbled talking and decided to in. When you opened the door, you came to a room full of tables, equipment, paper, and trash. Both you and Mashur wrinkled your noses at the sight; it was a total pigsty. As you stepped around everything, you noticed five people on the right with their backs at you. They were drinking coffee while one of them was explaining something intensely. 

_Should I wait or interrupt them?_ They were so focused on the subject that nobody had noticed your arrival. Mashur stared you and sensing your indecisiveness, and decided to make the choice for you: he barked once, making everyone in the room startle (including you). His bark echoed in the roomy space and soon everyone turned at you while you shushed your dog, feeling now even more troubled.

“(Surname)!” A familiar voice. Daichi approached you, confused and still little startled from Mashur’s bark. “I’m surprised you know about this place! What brings you here?”

“C-captain!” You stood up, “I’m… we’re sorry to have interrupted your conversation!” 

Daichi walked up to you while the others observed you from distance. They seemed to be really surprised about you. They seemed familiar but you didn’t remember any of them. You figured you had probably seen them before with the Elites or in the canteen. 

“Don’t mind! We were almost finished after all.” Daichi crouched down and pet Mashur’s belly. Only then did he notice the bandage on his paw and frowned. “Is he hurt? What happened?” 

As you explained what had happened and told them about your conversation with Iwaizumi, an average-looking man with dark brown hair and sleepy looking eyes approached you. The others remained at table. Their conversation halted abruptly when they realized that you were looking at them. One man in particular, a tall man with his brown hair in a bun, looked especially nervous at your attention. The other two just froze.

“Well, you came to right place!”, Daichi said, after you finished. The average-looking man stopped behind the captain and smiled at you gently. Your eyes locked with him, making Daichi turn around, “Oh yeah, nobody has introduced you to them yet! (Surname), this is - -”

“Forgive my interruption Captain, but I think I can introduce her to myself and the others since I’m in charge of them!” 

“Pff… I don’t mind! Please continue.” 

“Thank you, sir!” Daichi moved to side as the man took a step at you and offered his hand to shake. “Nice to meet you, my name is Ennoshita Chikara. I’m in charge of the technical team.”

“(Surname) (Name), and this is Mashur. It’s nice to meet you”, you said as you shook Ennoshita’s hand. Mashur barked again, but calmly this time. Ennoshita smiled at the canine before turning at his team. Everyone stiffened when their leader glanced them.

“I would like to introduce you to the other too, if you don’t mind.” 

“I wouldn’t mind.” _He’s a cautious person._

Daichi observed their interactions from the side. “We are the base’s technical team; our main mission is to make sure the devices work in the warzone. We are also in charge of weakening the enemy through subversion, obstruction, disruption and destruction – mainly through sabotage.” Ennoshita’s voice was full of pride. He nodded at his team, which caused the men to straighten up. “Please introduce yourselves, Asahi start.”

“Azumane Asahi, technical and mobility teams!” Azumane was the tallest of the three. Though he had strong built he seemed to be gentle and maybe even easily scared. 

“T-Tanaka Ryunosuke! I-I’m with technical and mobility teams!” He had a shaved head and sharp eyes. Tanaka seemed to be hotheaded though he only showed weakness and admiration in front of you. “N-nice to meet you!” 

“Nishinoya Yuu! With technical and commando teams! N-nice to meet you, miss!” Nishinoya was the shortest of them and was also the one who had been talking when you had arrived. He seemed to be bursting with excitement from the inside but was holding in. He seemed to be as excited as Tanaka but tried to play it off. Horribly.

“It is nice to meet you, too.” 

You could almost see smoke come from Nishinoya and Tanaka as their faces turned red. Azumane stared at them , somewhat troubled before turning to you and smiling weakly. Ennoshita just sighed, “Tanaka, Nishinoya please calm down. (Surname) didn’t come here just to meet you…” As the duo were catching their breaths, Ennoshita turned to you. “I overheard from your conversation with Captain earlier… you were looking for help for your dog, weren’t you?”

“Y-yes.” Mashur looked up at you before squirming encouraging, “I was just thinking if you had any idea on how to protect his paws from sharp objects without making him lose traction in his steps. We have tried to use protective dog shoes but those just made him feel uncomfortable and slowed us down.”

The men stared as you looked at Mashu, a troubled look on your face. Seeing you, the technicians felt something build up within them – though they had just met you it hurt them to see you that way, with such a sad expression on your beautiful face. What they didn’t know was that their silence was making you feel even more troubled. _Don’t they know how to help?_

“I’m asking too much, aren’t I?” Your voice sounded unsure and weak. 

Your question jolted the men in action.

“NO!” Tanaka and Nishinoya shouted at once, startling you and the others. Nishinoya approached you and continued, “WE WILL FIGURE OUT SOMETHING! R-Right Asahi?” He turned to look at his tall friend behind him. His eyes were shining brilliantly, as if he was saying ‘we can do this!’.

Azumane gulped, before nodding “I-it doesn’t sound impossible. I think we can do something.”

It felt so forced, like he was agreeing only because the others pressured him to. Wanting to put him out of his misery, you tried to take back your request. “You don’t need to force yourself! We will manage - -”

Azumane shook his head fervently, “N-no, it’s fine! I really think we can do it.”

“Oooh! That’s the spirit, goofball!” Daichi laughed, elated.

You grimaced awkwardly, _goofball?_

“Please don’t call me that Daichi!” Azumane seemed to get really troubled by the name, becoming somewhat depressed before turning his attention to you and Mashur again. He scratched his cheek nervously before asking, “U-umm… can I check his paw? J-just to get texture of its build.”

You blinked, “Sure. Mashur, sit.” 

While the canine sat down you lifted his uninjured paw up, giving it to Asahi. As Asahi observed the paw, Mashur sniffed his hand. You noticed that his touch was gentle and precise, making no wasted movements. 

“Mmm… yeah. I think it will work out just fine.” Asahi smiled gently as he rose up. Tanaka and Nishinoya followed him to the computer, where he sketched and explained his idea at the same time. “If we take a 3D printout of his front and back paws, we can build a protective shoes on them. We need to make sure the base is robust and the stalk comfortable. Let’s focus on flexible materials to maintain the normal trajectory around the joints…” 

Azumane sounded very professional during his explanation. Tanaka and Nishinoya acted similarly and even threw their own ideas in. It was surprising how composed they all turned when they began to work. Soon they were fussing over Mashur, taking pictures of his legs from every angle. As soon as they finished, Tanaka sat down at the computer and cracked his neck and fingers, “Let’s make some magic.” 

Nishinoya loomed over Tanaka, giving advice while he worked. They were totally concentrated on their work again. Ennoshita walked up to you with Daichi and Asahi, “It will take some time for them to finish. They have just sketching after all…” 

When Daichi and Ennoshita glanced at Asahi, he said,“A-ah… There is some other projects we need to work on too. It will take three to five weeks for us to finish Mashur’s shoes if nothing come up later…” 

Asahi seemed to get little disappointed about his answer, as if he was ashamed that Mashur’s shoes weren’t their top priority. 

“We don’t mind. Mashur will be out of action for at least three days and that’s only if the infection doesn’t get worse.” The canine looked up on you and tilted his head questioningly since he heard you say his name. You affectionately scratched his head before continuing. “If I need to take him on a mission I will just use strappings like I have till now.”

Daichi and Ennoshita smiled and accepted your answer, but Asahi seemed concerned, “B-but aren’t you afraid?” 

You slowly turned towards the man, Asahi seemed really fragile and you didn’t want to startled him. “Afraid?” 

“Y-yeah, like…. aren’t you afraid of… um… losing him during a battle?” Asahi watched Mashur, worried. The dog sat by your side so trustingly. “I mean… he looks really precious to you.” 

You got surprised that he actually questioned your choice to use Mashur in the warzone. He was the first one to ask about it, if you remembered correctly. You fell silent as you observed your companion who just fawned and nuzzled against your hand. 

Daichi turned a little troubled by his question. “Asahi… you shouldn’t question her choices - -”

You spoke over the captain, “If I would be afraid of losing him, I wouldn’t take Mashur to the warzone in the first place.” 

Everyone turned to look at you. You had replied as if the answer was obvious, like there was no way Mashur would ever die. That wasn’t really the case, you just couldn’t imagine yourself going into the warzone without him; Mashur would be where you were. When your eyes met with Asahi’s dark brown eyes, the man flinched little.

“I s-see.“

Tired of the sudden silence, you decided to go. “Well, we will head back to the barracks. Mashur needs rest and I promised to meet Dr. Takeda before supper.” You bowed to the men in front of you, “Thank you for helping us. Please tell me if you need my help for this project.”  
Almost immediately, the technical team turned extremely embarrassed and shy, unable to stutter out a proper reply. Finally, Ennoshita answered, “I-it’s our pleasure! We are happy to help!” 

After saying your goodbyes, you left. 

“O-oh god, she turned me on so much.” Tanaka half whispered as he was making a 3D picture of Mashur’s paw. Nishinoya just nodded furiously. Daichi and Ennoshita watched them, unimpressed. 

“She hardly gave you any attention…”

“It doesn’t matter.” Tanaka said seriously. 

Nishinoya nodded again as he stared Daichi excited, “It’s her presence. It’s all we need.” 

Daichi laughed at them, somewhat troubled while Ennoshita shook his head. _They are always like this when there’s a woman in the same room as them_. Turning, Ennoshita noticed that Asahi seemed to be little down. Confused, he asked, “What is troubling you now, Asahi?”

“Eh? A-aa… I just…” Asahi started to feel even more troubled. “Did I make her feel uncomfortable just now? By asking if she was afraid to lose her dog…”

Daichi sighed, “I don’t think she was upset. I think (Surname) wouldn’t have answered your question if she had felt troubled by it.” Hearing this, Asahi sighed, relieved. “I was pretty surprised she answered though! (Surname) hates to talk about herself after all.”

“So, she hasn’t still opened up?” Ennoshita asked suddenly. Daichi sighed and shook his head, troubled. Daichi associated with Asahi and the other technicians often since they came to the Crow’s Nest at the same time; they talked about everything, even you. “Just… what she must have gone through that she can’t? Doesn’t she feel a burden by hiding it all away?”

Everybody became silent, they had thought about it too. 

“I think…” Asahi started in slightly sad voice, “…you kind of learn to live with it. W-with hiding, I mean. At some point everything just turns numb and you just… don’t want to remember how it felt back then. Remembering becomes really… scary.” 

Asahi had turned so gloomy that Daichi wanted to hit him. But he had a point, a very accurate point in fact. He sighed and turned back to the computer, determined to find a way to bring you out of your shell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This series has got already over 1.5k hits!! Omg! I'm so freaking happy <3 >////<  
> Thank you so much for your nice comments and constructive criticisms! Whenever I hear that somebody enjoys the Reignited series I find more motivation to write! You guys make me so happy! Thank you so much for being here! <3


	6. Fire in her eyes

Occasionally, the commander himself organized an event in which everybody, including the Elites, participated. Ukai carried out and monitored the event with help of his friend, Takinoue Yuusuke, who had been an Elite himself years ago; now, he was one of the trainers who supervised the current Elites. He was strict and sharp but positive and encouraging. Despite the high regard the Elites held him in, his ever-present smile made you uneasy.

The morning started without the morning run – instead everyone was summoned to a huge lecture hall where the commander explained the situation and how everyone would proceed. Soon Takinoue was introduced and after the breakfast he held a lecture about the importance of this training. After a light lunch, everybody headed out with him.

The test started with a four-kilometer run. 

“I’m going to push you to the edge of exhaustion. By the end of your day I expect you to be drained or half-dead. If not... I promise you that you will be before the night falls.” Some soldiers glanced at you. “LET’S START!” 

As your set was getting ready for the run you noticed familiar faces in the group: Hinata was easy to spot due to his ginger hair, Ennoshita greeted you with Tanaka, and Lev soon fussed around you. The “Mad Dog” was there too but he wasn’t friends with anybody though some same aged man with neat light brown hair exchanged a couple of words with him.

The run was easy task for you: you kept a decent pace, running a bit faster than common soldiers. Basically, you just matched Hinata’s running pace since he was on of the fastest Rookies. Unfortunately, he wasted his abilities by thinking too much or just being reckless; Hinata had a bad habit of paying attention to others’ performances which caused him to forget about watching his own stamina and performance. When you got closer to him, about a kilometer before the finish line, Hinata panicked and rushed ahead to get away from you. This caused him to exhaust quickly and you were able to jog past him right before he crossed the finish line. Lev almost managed to get past him too but the smaller male sped up again; he didn’t want to “lose” to Lev, though he had technically already beat him by having better time.

Kageyama was even more frustrated by his teammate’s running. As Sugawara and Bokuto held Kageyama down while their set was got ready to go. Hinata hid behind Ennoshita. 

Right after you left the sports field the next set started their running. Takinoue glanced at you while squinting his eyes but when your eyes met, he calmly turned his gaze away. Like nothing had happened. 

You felt slightly troubled, _is he plotting something?_

-

The next exercise for the Rookies and the Elites tested the basic muscular endurance: push-ups and sit-ups. This training was absolutely horrific for you. It served as a reminder of how much weaker you were compared to the men around you. 

You were paired with Iwaizumi: he counted your push-ups and held your feet and counted while you did the sit-ups. The whole exercise wore you down, though you didn’t let it show and just bit through it. 

During this time, Iwaizumi encouraged you, “You are doing great, (Surname). Keep that pace.” or “One more.” 

His encouragement made everything feel less horrible, for which you were thankful. Unfortunately, you weren’t as reassuring as he was, but he didn’t mind. The real problem came when Iwaizumi started his sit-ups; you had to use your whole body weight and power to hold his legs down. After the training, you weren’t sure which who was sweating worse. 

During the meal, you were reunited with the Elites. Everyone of them were exhausted since the commander mainly focused on their performances; they had to do their best whole time.

“What a way to spend a free day!” Kuroo whined as he tried to find power to eat his dinner. His hands were shaking from the strenuous exercise. You noticed quite soon that everyone were fighting with the same issue; their forks clattered against their plates due to their trembling hands.

“Well… if we didn’t fail horribly today we don’t need to spend another day doing this!” Sugawara laughed as he reached for his milk glass. He needed his both hand to lift the glass without spilling it. You felt like you were in wrong place. Yes you were tired, but you hadn’t worked with your full power. Not even once. 

All the bases in Arylean had so-called “free days” which meant that on those days, one base was released from its duties. It didn’t mean that the soldiers could just slack off and relax, or have fun in some random city or sleep whole day. The free day meant that the base would not get missions, jobs, nor need to assist other bases, unless there was an absolute emergency. The day served as an opportunity to test the Elites and the base’s strengths and weaknesses since everybody would surely present.

After the dinner, it was time for muscular power training. Takinoue tested how strong you were: how much you could lift, how hard you could hit, how hard you could kick… In this exercise, Ukai himself decided whether your performance was good enough for you to pass. Naturally, he was stricter with the Elites and the teams assisting the Elites: the transportation team, the communication team, and the technical team. For the cadets for the title of the Elite - Kageyama, Hinata and you - the superiors had their own plans; they really wanted to see what the three of you could do and how you could develop further. Takinoue monitored the three of you closely and commented on your performance so that you could improve and fill his and Ukai’s expectations. 

Though you couldn’t lift as much as the others, Takinoue saw potential in you. He told you to redo your hits once before letting you to move towards the next exercise. On the side, Ukai observed you quietly, filling you with a sense of unease once more.

The last task was to deliver a power frontal kick, Kuroo liked to call it ‘the door kick’ since it was usually used to kick a door in. Takinoue held up a kicking shield, a thick padding designed for the use of leg work, and calculated everyone’s performances. Once again, Ukai monitored from the side. The Elites started the last round: Kuroo, Bokuto, Daichi and Iwaizumi’s kicks forced Takinoue to take a step back because of the impact. Akaashi and Oikawa did good job but Sugawara needed to try again to satisfy Takinoue. 

Still Sugawara wasn’t the only one, 

“Azumane, don’t be afraid to use your power! Again!”

“R-roger!” 

“Ennoshita try again, this time fix your footing before kicking!” 

“Copy that!”

“Hinata don’t panic! Try again! You too Lev, kick it like you mean it!”

“R-r-roger!” “OSU!!” 

“(Surname), you were too far ahead so try again!”

“Roger!”

The next round, everyone did better, still some of other soldiers were told to redo their kicks over and over again. 

When your turn finally came, you took your stance and stood firmly in front of the kick shield. You took a deep breath and kicked, it hardly moved Takinoue behind the shield but made a louder bang than last time. The trainer glanced at you behind the kick shield – your kick had been stronger than average soldier’s kick but… it was a little too girly and weak for you. Not surprising.

As you moved to side Ukai sighed internally, _I know you can do better than that._ “(Surname) redo.” 

You glanced at the commander and squinted your eyes, displeased. Still you went to wait your turn again and kicked the kick shield with the same amount of power as last time. Takinoue stared at you behind the shield, unimpressed, maybe even annoyed. 

”(Surname) redo again”, Takinoue said before Ukai could.

Everyone turned to look at you and the trainer. The Elites gulped as they watched your face darken, this wasn’t new to anybody anymore but it still pissed you off every single time. You tilted you head annoyed and your upper lip twitched, waiting for an explanation. Takinoue sighed and leaned on the soft shield.

“You know… every morning, I see you run around the base with your dog as fast as some gazelle so I bet you can kick like one too. That last kick was just weak!” This made you feel troubled, you really did run faster when nobody was looking because nobody was supposed to see you, but apparently someone had, which annoyed you. “I know you can do better than what you are showing outside. Don’t be too self-conscious!”

Takinoue tried to sound encouraging but it didn’t work with you. In fact, it had the opposite effect and made you want to leave or at least not to try at all. You glanced at the door, wondering if you could figure out some excuse to leave? Maybe using Mashur? 

Takinoue saw the look on your face and sighed, “You are not leaving this place before you impress me and Ukai. But hey… I promise you that I will let you leave immediately after you do so.”

You faced the trainer once again, his face showing that he was serious. You growled lightly, pissed off. You really wanted to leave; you were tired, missed your dog, wanted a shower, and wanted to sleep… You could leave if you just kicked that damn shield as hard as you dared. You sighed and nodded reluctantly. Takinoue immediately straightened and lifted the kick shield up before nodding at you. His face was grave though the glimmer in his eyes hinted his excitement.

The Elites and Ukai watched, astonished, as you quickly flexed your legs and jumped up a couple of times - you were really going for it. They had already learned a thing or two about you: if somebody mentioned the lack of effort in your performance, you wouldn’t even try and just leave. Takinoue probably didn’t know this but had still managed to use this trait of yours against you brilliantly. It was a win-win situation – everyone would see a glimpse of your full power and you could leave as you wanted.

Everyone watched as you tied your (h/l) (h/c) hair into a messy bun on the top of your head, and moved towards the kick shield. After two meters, you stopped and lifted your arms into a fighting position before sighing. Takinoue’s eyes met yours and after you nodded slightly he prepared himself. Gently he pressed his shoulder against the shield and placed his legs behind them supportively. After so many years of training with multiple soldiers he had learned to calculate each soldier’s strength by their looks and former performances. Regarding you, he was expecting a kick that was slightly stronger than the one you gave earlier. He knew you weren’t very muscular, but durable. If you just used more speed your performance could improve. When he was ready he glanced at you and shouted, “Go! Kick it like you mean it!”

Everyone had stopped what they were doing and turned to you. 

The feeling of annoyance tickled down your neck as you prepared yourself. You closed your eyes, shut everything out, and inhaled.

 _I need to fight my way out_ , you convinced yourself as you recalled your past, your struggle.

This was nothing compared to that. 

_I’ll kick the door in and leave this room._

The room had completely silenced. Or maybe not… whatever happened you weren’t listening anymore. When you exhaled and opened your eyes, your visions was clearer, more focused. You moved. You used your speed to create power, closing the space between you and the shield quickly and kicked with all your might. For a split second, it felt as if time had slowed down. 

There was a deafening bang as the sole of your shoe made contact the kick shield. The impact tickled your muscles, jolting through your bones. You felt the shield give in to your foot, it was no match for your power.

Takinoue grunted , surprised, when he fell on his bottom and the kick shield fell on him. 

The room remained silent. You could only hear your own heartbeat. 

Takinoue’s expression reflected those of the others: shock. He couldn’t understand what had happened; he had heard you inhale and then suddenly the kick had come and had been much stronger than he had anticipated, catching him off guard. 

You looked down at him unimpressed. _He underestimated me…_ It annoyed you.

As Takinoue got up, you moved towards the door – there was no reason for you to remain. Ukai stood there, dumbfounded, he could only nod when you glanced him as you were leaving. 

Takinoue came out of his shock and spoke, panicked, “(Surname)!” As you turned around to hear what was still on his mind, the male lifted his thumb up at you, “Good work!” He surprised everyone including you; it was rare to hear such a thing from him. Maybe you should had felt happy but you didn’t.

“Sadly I can’t say same thing to you”, your voice was monotonous but there was a hint of disappointment in it. Takinoue gulped as you picked up your hoodie and walked away. Your eyes had seemed really cold. Maybe even a little upset. 

Daichi and Sugawara panicked,

“S-sir, she didn’t mean to insult you!” Daichi started while Sugawara nodded furiously.

“Y-yeah! (Name) just hates to be forced - - !” 

Takinoue held a hand up, stopping them,

“I don’t mind. I totally deserved that one!” Ukai snorted.

Daichi, Sugawara and the rest of the Elites and the Rookies watched him, confused, “Deserved that? Why would you..?” 

“Well I did underestimate her. I never thought she could do that well! And like you said, I forced (Surname) to show her best after all so I should have taken her seriously at least...” Everyone watched their trainer in awe. It took courage to admit a mistake in front of your underlings. All of your underlings. “Well… Let’s continue so we can leave too! Next one! GET READY!”

The training ended an hour before the supper, allowing everyone to clean themselves before the meal. Bokuto was once again spacing out after his shower. He had watched you closely when you had went for the kick. He had visualized it again and again, getting goosebumps. Your (e/c) eyes had shone with a singular purpose and your movements had been elegant, powerful, brutal… 

Perfect. 

The moment you had opened your eyes, Bokuto had known. He hadn’t imagined that fierce personality he saw in you. That fighter he had seen encountering with Kuroo recently wasn’t a figment of his imagination.

He had seen fire in your eyes, a veritable blaze.

And in that moment Bokuto Koutarou knew what he wanted.

* * *

It was really hard to keep up with the Elites. In addition to training, there were always missions assigned to you: small jobs, assisting jobs, jobs in the base… There were more severe missions but you wouldn’t be assigned them until you were promoted to the title of the Elite. Once in a while, you assisted two or more Elites on a mission so you could get used to their work but besides that you did menial jobs. You also assisted Dr. Takeda all the time and hold practices for the common soldiers.

It had been less than a week after you started working with the Elites and oh god you were worn out. You had thought that you could always rest during transport, after practices, or after helping the doctor, but resting had turned out to be harder than you’d expected. Firstly, the men chit chat all the time – they joked around, laughed, gossiped, and lost their cool in card games… they were just _noisy_. You slept during bombing and firing practice but you just couldn’t relax around them, not that you had anytime to rest anyways.

Today had been a perfect example. Before mealtime, you had finally finished a job with Dr. Takeda. Before that, you had been on a mission with the noisiest people the base had: Bokuto and Oikawa… Before the mission, you had held combat training with Iwaizumi and Daichi… plus you had held the morning run, participated in shooting practice and planned health checks with the doctor while taking care of Mashur on the side of everything.

 

Exhausted, you sat down on the lounge’s couch and sighed. Your head hurt. There would be a little free time after the meal but you needed to go back to the clinic. Dr. Takeda had so many things going on at the same time, there was no way he would survive without you. You still needed to fill your medical equipment, order some more, do the paperwork… but first you allowed yourself a moment of rest. 

The lounge was quiet; the others hadn’t arrived yet. 

_I should take Mashur out and take a shower before the supper_ , you thought tiredly. That way you could go to bed right after the last meal of the day. You hoped that you might be able to sleep at least seven hours. 

Your head throbbed so badly that you decided to take a painkiller. As you waited for the medicine to take effect on you, you began planning again. Before you knew it, you started to nod off. You slapped your face to try to stay awake, _the day isn’t over yet!_ But you couldn’t fight it. The pain was melting away, making you even drowsier.

You didn’t quite fall asleep – you were sort of meditating, your mind functioned and your ears worked. You could hear Mashur lay down next to the couch and sigh. You knew you should’ve opened your eyes and forced yourself up, but you didn’t. You heard the clock ticking. Soon, you heard noises but didn’t recognize them. It was getting harder and harder to focus on your surroundings. Your mind was slipping into dreams.

Suddenly you felt chills, your instincts kicking in. It didn’t feel good. You felt a cold sweat break. Through your eyelids you could detect a shadow. You could feel it looming over you, spreading, coming closer… swallowing the light around you. 

_“The enemy knows, (Name)…”_

Something touched your arm.

Your eyes shot open and you gripped whatever was coming at you, alarmed. Your heart was beating wildly. 

Sugawara startled as you gripped his wrist. A blanket fell from his hands to your lap. “I’m s-sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!” 

The vice-captain was the first one to finish his practice and he had come to the lounge to wait for the others. You seemed to be asleep on the couch so he had decided to put a blanket on you. You had looked exhausted the past few days.

You blinked a couple of times before realizing that you were still gripping the vice-captain’s wrist quite hard. _I… fell asleep..?_

You let go in a panic, “Sorry! That was a reflex…”

“Haha, quite a strong reflex you have there”, Sugawara joked as he massaged his wrist. You could see the bruises already forming. You felt a pang of guilt before wiping your eyes quickly. As you were about to get up Sugawara turned troubled, “You should continue your nap! There is still time before the meal.”

“I don’t need a nap”, you lied, standing abruptly. Truthfully, you were getting up because it was hard to stay awake even while sitting comfortably. “It would just mess my rhythm.”

“(Name), you look really tired so please consider it. I won’t mind! I can even leave if you - - ”

“No! I’m not going to sleep and you don’t need to leave. That’s it. I will sleep when I actually have time for it.” Well… you had time to sleep but you already knew that you wouldn’t be able to sleep in the presence of others. Not even in Sugawara’s presence though he wasn’t threatening. You just couldn’t. 

Not yet at least. 

Maybe never. It was hard for you to trust people.

Sugawara knew you were lying but didn’t want to pressure you. As you walked to your room to ‘brush Mashur’ you walked straight past Akaashi and Iwaizumi who had just came back from a mission, ignoring their greetings. After you had shut your door Sugawara sighed.

“What’s the matter with (Name) Sugawara-san?” Akaashi asked politely as he got a glass of water while Iwaizumi sat at the dining table. Sugawara glanced at your door before smiling weakly.

“I tried to put a blanket on (Name) while she was sleeping on the couch but I freaked her out.” Sugawara lifted his shirt sleeve so the men could see the blue bruises you left on his wrist. 

Akaashi sighed, “You shouldn’t get troubled by that… it happened to Kuroo-san too.”

Sugawara stared at Akaashi, shocked, “Really?! What happened?” 

Akaashi lifted his shoulders, clueless, “I just heard him telling Bokuto about it. (Surname)-san had dozed while writing reports at the table and Kuroo-san went to wake her up. He almost got punched in the face.” Iwaizumi and Sugawara felt troubled. 

“She still has a hard time trusting us”, Iwaizumi admitted. 

Sugawara glanced your door again before sighing, “(Name) just needs more time… that’s all…”

* * *

“Eeeeh!! What are they doing here?!” Oikawa’s loud whining filled the gym. He pointed at the door where two familiar figures stood, confused. Oikawa’s complaining had forced them to stop at the door, Hinata hid behind Kageyama while the taller male’s eyebrows furrowed, troubled. He tried to look tougher by puffing himself up but failed and ended up looking just as nervous as Hinata. It was rather clear that Oikawa didn’t want them to join on their special training.

Daichi sighed, annoyed, “Hinata and Kageyama will be participating our training too. They have succeeded well in the trainings so I want to see what they can really do.” 

Oikawa turned all dramatic and looked to someone for support. As his eyes met with Hanamaki and Matsukawa, the men pretended to see a butterfly and follow it since it was far more interesting than their partner’s personal problems. Oikawa felt betrayed. 

“Oikawa, you invited Matsukawa and Hanamaki here yourself! This is the outcome of your own choices.” Daichi continued chastising him as Oikawa grimaced at Kageyama and Hinata again. Hinata stiffened.

“Stop glaring at them!!”

“But they are so troublesome ~ !”

Ennoshita’s team was also participating. Usually they only trained together during the free times but since Oikawa had invited more people to take part with the evening training they had been invited too. As always, Ennoshita greeted you politely, while Asahi got really frightened by the Elites. He was sure he would die today. Sugawara and Daichi immediately noticed their teammate’s distress and started to fuss around him, causing him to freak out even more. 

Tanaka and Nishinoya approached you slowly, making you observe them, confused and wary. You noticed that they had a friend with them: a man who strangely reminded you from Tanaka but who had a blonde Mohawk. The man seemed super nervous. He was blushing furiously even though you hadn’t moved or even said anything. 

Nishinoya walked to you, full of confidence, “(Name)-san! How have you been?” Tanaka and the man with Mohawk stared at the two of you from a safe distance. 

“I’m doing well… I guess”, you answered, unsure. Nishinoya seemed to wait for you to ask about him. “H-how… how about you then? Anything new?” Nishinoya’s eyes glittered in excitement as he started to tell you about the things they had done recently and how Mashur’s new protective dog shoes were being processed. After a while, Tanaka and the man started to get fidgety and you glanced them, troubled. Nishinoya turned his attention to his friends and jolted, as if suddenly remembered something.

“Oh yeah!! (Name)-san, you haven’t met Taketora yet!” Nishinoya half shouted and waved you to approach the man with Mohawk. The man stiffened. “Taketora is with the technical team too! He watches our backs on the battlefield and participates in the sabotaging!” 

Taketora blushed such a furious red that for a moment, you thought he would faint. 

The two of you shook hands. “N-n-nice to meet you!! I’m Yamamoto Taketora!” Your hand felt so small and slender in his hand. Warm and soft. Taketora was afraid he would crush you. You were so beautiful, like a goddess. 

_Please don’t faint, please don’t faint…_ you thought. “Nice to meet you too! I’m (Surname) (Name).”

“I k-know!” Taketora panicked. Everyone stared at the man awkwardly. “I m-m-m-m-mean… u-u-um..!!!” You blinked at him, genuinely confused. Taketora froze. Soon you could see blush creep up to his face and the smoke came out of him. He fell backwards onto the mattress, leaving you aghast.

“HE FAINTED!!” Tanaka and Nishinoya shouted as they ran to their friend. You looked at the man helpless, _what in earth happened?_ Ennoshita hurried to you and told you not to worry. This happened a lot with Taketora whenever he was near women. 

Everyone seemed to be used to it so you didn’t pay too much mind to the matter either. Still, you helped to resuscitate the man. After a couple of attempts, he finally stayed conscious, though he needed to stay at least four meters away for you to stay calm.

As everyone warmed up, Daichi spoke, “Today we will train in close combat! The rules are simple: the first one on the mattress loses. We will not use rubber blades; you need to use your own body and abilities as your weapon! Wear your fighting gloves! Let’s keep injuries to a minimum!” 

Since there was more people than usual, it was decided that two pairs would compete at the same time while others observed. After everyone had competed at least two times you would move to “educational competing” – where only one couple would fight while others observed. The results would be written down both times. 

You picked a name from a hat: Hinata Shoyou. 

The small, orange haired man stared at you nervously. Though you had trained with the Rookies for over a month you had never trained with Hinata. Still, you had observed his performance many times, looking for his weaknesses and strengths, his movements, his style… you knew a lot about the man even though you had never actually fought against each other. _He is fast and he has great stamina, but he doesn’t have technique_ , you knew. _That stamina of his will cause troubles._

You tied your hair up and got ready.

When the whistle was blown Hinata attacked you. He really was fast and closed the gap between you in no time. But you had expected this, he had seemed like a person who would approach first. When he was close enough you took a small step back before suddenly lunging forward. You caught his arm and tried to twist it behind his back but he was able to jerk it free. As he lunged at you again, you pushed him past you. 

This happened more than once; neither of you could catch the other.

Kageyama shouted some advices to Hinata but the orange haired man hardly listened. He was overwhelmed; usually he had no problems reaching his opponent. You were different; you were talented. 

He smiled.

That smile made the hair in your neck stand up. _He enjoys this_ , you thought while feeling somewhat irritated. As Hinata lunged at you again you let him come close and caught him. You both were fast which cause you both slip away. This time though, you locked your grip, ensuring that the small man wouldn’t be able to slip away. This started a wrestling match. Both of your physical powers were evenly matched; neither of you could push the other down.

You had expected it – everything depended on technique now. 

You tricked Hinata a couple of times before jumping at him, pushing your whole body weight on his arms. Hinata wasn’t strong, so he quickly lost his balance. This caused the two of you crash onto the mattress. Within seconds, you took hold of his arm and locked it between your legs while twisting it. Hinata gasped in pain and quickly tapped out.

You won. When you stood up, Hinata rubbed his shoulder before jumping up and shouting, “ONE MORE TIME!” Everyone turned their attention at Hinata. Oikawa sighed, _here he goes…_ The main reason why he hadn’t wanted the odd-duo to join them was the fact that those two wouldn’t give up easily. They just had to whine for more. 

You looked at him unimpressed. “No we won’t. It is the other’s turn to - - ”

“Fight me again!” Hinata didn’t listen. His eyes gleamed with excitement. You felt pissed, where was that enthusiasm coming from? He had lost, did he want to lose again? Nothing would change. “One more time!”

You stared at the man, annoyed. The coldness of your eyes made Hinata gulp but refused to back down. “I will not”, you said and moved to the side. Hinata got really upset at this.

“Why not?! Is it because I’m not as good as you?”

“Because I don’t need to.” _You terrify me_ , you thought while looking for a place to sit down. Oikawa made you room and so you headed there. Suddenly, you felt chills, even Oikawa seemed to feel it as his cheerful expression became serious. You glanced behind you.

For a moment it looked like Hinata would come at you by force, charging blindly, forcing you to fight, but Kageyama stood up and stopped Hinata before he could do anything. They exchanged looks before Hinata broke the eye contact, looking resolutely at the ground. 

After a couple of matches, Sugawara picked up your name. He blinked a couple of times, a little troubled. It was you after all. But since you showed no emotions regarding the choice he took his place in front of you. After Daichi blew the whistle the match started. 

Once again you knew many things about Sugawara’s fighting style: he wasn’t the strongest or the fastest of the Elites but he had technique. You both approached the other at the same time, but it was Suga who caught you first by arm. However, he didn’t grip you tight enough so you slipped away and caught him instead. You weren’t gentle to him and with quick movements you managed to throw him over you.

Sugawara groaned as he hit the ground, your grip still on his arm. He shifted your balance and pulled you down with him before holding you against him. He gripped your shirt, gently so he wouldn’t pierce through your skin in the progress, and gave a chokehold, though he didn’t choke you at all.

You felt pissed all over again, _this is not combat._

In your frustration you shouted out, startling Sugawara. Why did you scream? Had he hurt you? Without thinking, he loosened the chokehold on you. This was your chance. After gripping Sugawara’s arm again you dived from his hold and twisted his arm. The man yelped in pain as you forced his arm behind his back. You lifted it up, not letting him go. 

Not giving mercy. 

“Okay, stop! Stop!” Sugawara groaned in pain. 

“Why the fuck didn’t you even try?!” You shouted at him. Sugawara froze as he laid on his stomach while you held his arm still behind his back. “We came here to train in combat, and that definitely wasn’t combat! You are not supposed to go easy on me!” Sugawara glanced up at you, and regretted it almost immediately. His heart dropped, you looked so disappointed. Hurt. 

But he couldn’t argue back. He had lost because of his gentleness towards you. 

“I’m sorry”, he finally answered quietly. You grimaced angrily and let go his arm. Sugawara stumbled onto his knees and turned to you… but you had already turned you back at him. You sat down and sipped your water, avoiding eye contact with the vice-captain. Everyone gulped, even the match between Daichi and Nishinoya next to you had stopped when you had shouted out loud, frustrated. Daichi blinked, troubled at you two.

“If you don’t pay attention you are done!” Nishinoya shouted as he lunged at Daichi. 

“E-EH?!” 

And down they went. After some rolling around, Daichi finally managed to free himself from Nishinoya and crushed the smaller man under his own weight. Since there was nothing to be done Nishinoya gave up. 

You followed the matches, annoyed. Once again you felt like leaving, nobody was taking you seriously here. They hardly ever did. Except Hinata, who kept staring at you intensely. _He is still at it_ , you thought. His staring really didn’t help you overcome your anger and frustration. It didn’t help at all that Hinata actually picked your name from the hat. 

You stared at the short, overjoying man as a vein popped up on your temple. “Do I really have to?” Next to you, Oikawa and Asahi turned really troubled at the toxicity of your voice. Hinata was jumping up and down, getting ready. You refused to budge. 

Daichi laughed tensely, troubled and calmed Hinata down, “The idea of this training was to encounter different people with different fighting styles, Hinata. I think you should pick up a name again…” 

Hinata shouted in agony. “BUT c-captain!! I really want to fight her!!”

 _She clearly doesn’t want to fight with you idiot_ , everyone thought troubled as you turned even grimmer. 

“Well we need to make a compromise then. (Surname), you will fight Hinata on the next round, okay?” You clicked your tongue, annoyed. Daichi smiled at you grimly, _agree_. Silently you gulped and nodded. “Great! Hinata pick up another name.” Hinata’s eyes glittered in excitement. He grinned at you, and you faked a smile at him while screaming inside. 

_Stay strong_! Ennoshita’s team and Matsukawa plus Hanamaki thought troubled.

Hinata jumped to the hat and pulled out a name. As he read the name he froze, turning pale. He gulped, “O-Oikawa T-T-Tooru…” He turned to look at Oikawa, frightened.

Kuroo, Tanaka and Iwaizumi gave a laugh: Oikawa and Hinata were probably the worst match in the hall, Hinata had gotten a serious beating from Oikawa before and was clearly terrified. The fact that Oikawa was supporting you didn’t help the Shrimp’s situation at all. It was just too amusing. Others just stared Hinata troubled, feeling pity for the Rookie. 

Oikawa grunted, annoyed, as he was getting up. 

“Demolish him”, you suddenly deadpanned. There was no emotion in your voice. He glanced down, you seemed still really annoyed but when you looked up to meet Oikawa’s chocolate brown eyes there was a sly glimmer in your (e/c) orbs. 

Oikawa smiled cunningly.

“Okayy ~ “, he sang as he flexed his shoulder. He saw you hide a sly smile with your water bottle. It made his heartbeat quicken as his smile widened. Hinata trembled in front of him, definitely not ready. The smile on the Elite’s face seemed to reflect his own death. “Well then… let’s go ~ “, Oikawa sang as took his fighting stance. Hinata gulped.

The match was over rather quickly. But it was a very satisfying match. For you at least. Hinata had been no match for Oikawa at all. You hoped that his fighting spirit had shattered, _maybe he will not want to face me anymore._

“Okay! Let’s move to next one!” Daichi called as Sugawara got his notes. He glanced at you, troubled, but you ignored him once again. Everyone got up and formed one huge ring around the blue mattress. “The rules remain the same but now you have more room to move. Use it to your advantage! The loser is the one who hits the mattress first. Any methods are allowed! Keep the fight gloves on!”

Oikawa came to sit next to you and offered you a gentle fist bump with a sly smile. To everyone’s surprise, you fist bumped him. You owned him for that one after all. 

Kuroo fought against Iwaizumi for real. They boxed without mercy. They moved and threw each other around so much that Ennoshita and Matsukawa had to dodge them at one point. They managed to move just before Kuroo landed on the mattress where they had been sitting. In the end Iwaizumi won by strangling the man until Kuroo gave up. He wanted to have his neck, thank you very much.

After matches Taketora versus Hanamaki, and Akaashi versus Ennoshita, it was finally time for your match with Hinata. Oikawa cheered you on as you got up. You told him kindly to shut up, you were annoyed again.

“I will not lose to you!” Hinata shouted as he took his fighting pose. He clearly hadn’t lost his fighting spirit. 

“I _still_ will not lose to you”, you answered coldly as you got ready. 

The fight didn’t differ from your last one either. Hinata still overthought his actions and made hesitant moves. He _had_ learned something since he was even harder to catch but his technique doesn’t get better in the hour between your matches… with your confident moves Hinata was soon on the ground. 

“This is not right”, Bokuto suddenly whispered, surprising Akaashi next to him. Bokuto had been strangely silent the past two days. He had either been in his own thoughts or looking for you. Now his golden-colored eyes followed you, wide open. Locked onto you. His concentration made Akaashi feel chills. “It’s wrong. She is not supposed to look like that…” it seemed he was muttering in his thoughts.

“Bokuto-san, are you okay?” Akaashi asked carefully. Bokuto seemed to react to his own name on some level of consciousness. But he gave no proper answer. 

“I hate it.” 

“What do you hate?” Akaashi tried again, carefully. The match between you and Hinata hadn’t progressed much. Only Hinata was getting frustrated, though his eyes still glimmered in excitement. Yours seemed dimmer the longer the match went on.

But Bokuto gave no answer, he seemed to be too focused on you. Akaashi dropped the subject but made a note to ask Bokuto later what was on his mind.

After some wrestling the match ended like the last one; you over Hinata, twisting his hand behind his back. 

As Hinata caught his breath you moved to side; you had hardly broken a sweat. You sighed and swiped your slightly damp chin on your shirt’s collar. Hinata jumped up again and turned to face you, “ONE MORE TIME!” Everyone expect you sighed. You ignored the orange haired man and sat down. “PLEASE!” 

You didn’t hear him. You refused to hear him. He angered you, frustrated you beyond belief. Hinata took a step at you, “(Surname) - - !” 

The air around you turned heavy, threatening. 

_Come a step closer and I will kill you._

Sugawara stood up, “Hinata!” The orange haired man turned to the vice-captain. “Let it be. Please.” Sugawara looked genuinely troubled but his eyes were sad. He signed Hinata to come sit next to him. Hinata looked at him in disbelief but as he tried to argue back Sugawara shook his head. Hinata shut his mouth and turned to you once again. It was almost like he was in verge of tears. But still he turned around again and went to sit next to Sugawara. They both looked beaten.

The matches went on and on. You noticed some interesting trick that you probably could use. Though you lacked muscle power… and weight… but just maybe? 

After it was clear that Hanamaki had lost to Iwaizumi, Daichi called out the next ones. 

“Mm… Bokuto! You haven’t fought yet! Pick your partner and get ready!”

Kuroo grinned as he was getting up since Bokuto always picked up Kuroo. They were always rivals, fighting against each other. But when Kuroo saw his bro’s face he halted; something was different. Bokuto’s eyes were burning… but not for him. He wanted something else, he wanted… someone else.

“Sorry Tetsurou… but I want to fight against someone else today”, Bokuto said. as if in a trance. Focused. His golden eyes were glimmering.

“N-no worry, buddy!” Kuroo said baffled and sat back down. Bokuto nodded in thanks and slowly turned his eyes on you. 

You felt chills, Bokuto was somewhat different. It was odd to see him so focused, so fierce. Dangerous. It made your heart pound faster, _why do you look at me like that?_ Bokuto swallowed before speaking. 

“Would you fight against me, (Name)?” Your name left his lips so naturally. He spoke softly but full of confidence. Though he didn’t sound like it, he was pleading. He wanted you to fight against him. Everyone stared the man in the middle of the ring, aghast, what was he up to? What was happening? Was this wise?

Akaashi especially felt troubled; he tried to analyze the words Bokuto had told him earlier but couldn’t figure anything out. He was facing a situation he rarely met with Bokuto: he didn’t know how to proceed.

After gulping you nodded, “Sure.” 

As you got up Oikawa pulled your shirt,

“He is different”, the sniper whispered, his eyes glimmered, alert. You weren’t sure whether Oikawa meant to warn you or guide you: was he telling you to be cautious because Bokuto was acting strange or take a note that you were facing a person you might not know. 

You pushed Oikawa’s hand away and nodded; whichever the case was, you were going to be careful. 

“Yeah, I know.” 

You walked in the middle of the ring to face Bokuto. He stared into your eyes for a moment before turning his gaze away. Soon your eyes met again. _He is looking for something_ , you realized but couldn’t figure out what it was. Or why. Why now? Everyone in the room clearly felt troubled.

“Are you ready?” Daichi asked and glanced at both of you. He had sweat dropping on his temple; he was really stressed about this. You glanced at Bokuto – both of you nodded at the same time. You took your fight stance and Bokuto followed. You felt somehow odd. Misplaced. 

Neither of you broke the eye contact as the whistle was blown. For a moment you felt as if time had slowed down again, you saw how Bokuto reacted to the sound of the whistle, how his muscles tensed… he was coming at you. His golden eyes glimmered, like that of a predator.

You felt chills.

Your instincts were blaring in warning.

Without realizing you bent your body backwards, barely dodging Bokuto’s punch. You were startled, _when did he - -?!_ You backed away. Time sped back up and now you were dodging Bokuto with all your might and talent. Bokuto’s eyes were still at you. Your heart was beating erratically; it felt like you really were in danger. This man could _hurt_ you.

As another punch came from the left, instead of backing up again you dove under his arm and caught it. You placed your leg behind his and tried to push him over but he refused it to happen. He leaned forward and turned quickly, making you lose your footing before throwing you down. With a backward roll you managed to get up before Bokuto could come at you again.

_How do I fight a man who overpowers me in both weight and power?!_

Some distant, unpleasant memory rose from the depths of you mind but you pushed it down. You had to focus on Bokuto. This situation wasn’t completely new to you, you thought absently. But when did it happen? There was no time to think about it.

Bokuto hesitated for a moment but came at you anyway. You had to dodge him again while trying to figure out something. Anything. You wanted to win, you wanted to know what he was looking for. Suddenly Bokuto managed to catch your collar and you winced in pain – his hand scratched your skin through the shirt. The skin under his grip was burning. You caught his arms and refused to go down. He tried to take your feet under you but you were too quick. You knew that you could never win him in power. You had to figure out something. 

And you did. 

Bokuto had to bend down to keep you still so you placed your left leg on his thigh and bounced up. You aimed your right knee at Bokuto’s chin. He would go to sleep if odds were by your side, or he would see stars a while, or he would let you go… or you could miss. But you didn’t want to think about that outcome.

Bokuto’s eyes widened and he had to let go of your shirt. As he stopped your knee right before it hit his chin you twisted yourself free from his arm. As soon as you landed, you breathed in and lunged at him, caught his wrist, and went past him. For a moment you though you managed to get him, to twist his arm behind his back and end this.

You couldn’t be more wrong. 

Bokuto gripped your arm and stepped a couple steps after you. The next thing you knew was that he had already yanked you in front of him and suddenly all you saw was the black of Bokuto’s trousers; his kick was almost at your face. 

_Huh?_

There wasn’t much time to react. 

It was a strong kick. Really strong. You light body could do nothing against it, the kick pushed you out of its way like you were nothing. Like a pillow after a kick from a furious child. The impact made you almost literally fly. It felt like an eternity passed before you to hit the mattress but when you did… 

… you crashed _hard_. Air escaped from your lungs immediately and you rolled over and over, all the way to the edge of the mattress and past it, past Matsukawa and Tanaka. You rolled so quickly that they couldn’t catch you. 

The hall fell silent. 

Bokuto was cold, almost emotionless, as he turned to the direction where he had kicked you. Everyone turned to look at you in horror. You had rolled off the mattress and were now laying on your stomach, unmoving. There was blood on the mattress.

“(NAME)?!” The watchers shouted in unison. 

Sugawara rushed immediately to you with Daichi and soon everyone were getting up to see you. Some of them were doubted if you were even alive. Fortunately, you were already moving again, you lifted your upper body on your elbows. You were slowly recovering. The ponytail of yours had loosened during your roll and now your (h/l) (h/c) hair was covering your face. 

You brushed your chin. It felt numb. You ears were ringing. There were stars on the floor, everywhere. Everything was swaying. All the sounds around you were muffled and distorted. Daichi and Sugawara were kneeling next to you. 

Oikawa watched the blood in terror. He felt anger spring inside him and soon he got up. He rushed to Bokuto, who just stared insensately at you, and gripped his collar. He had to force Bokuto to look at him, to rip his gaze from you. 

“WHAT the FUCK BOKUTO?! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL HER?!” Oikawa was furious. Akaashi rushed to separate the men but couldn’t do anything. With Iwaizumi and Kuroo’s help they pulled Oikawa further. “LET GO OF ME!! I’M GONNA SHOW THAT - - !!”

“NO YOU WON’T!” Iwaizumi shouted at Oikawa’s face.

“There’s been enough blood shed today!” Kuroo agreed.

Meanwhile Akaashi focused on Bokuto.

“Bokuto-san, explain this to me!” Akaashi said desperately. He had never seen Bokuto hit a woman or even act so coldly towards his opponent. Bokuto stared at him for a moment before turning his eyes to you again. “Bokuto!” Akaashi shouted again and shook him. What had happened? 

“She… (Name)… she is strong”, Bokuto said. He was losing his words. He was baffled about you.

Akaashi couldn’t understand. Nobody could. “Yes, she is but y-you shouldn’t kick her like that! You hurt her, Bokuto!”

“I didn’t…” Bokuto said as a faint smile appeared on his face. He remembered what he had seen. A split second before impact. Flashback. “She blocked. God dammit, she actually managed to _block_ that one..!” 

Everyone who heard his answer felt chills, _blocked?_ Kuroo let go of Oikawa and turned to look at you too. Soon everyone were looking at you. Waiting for something. _What does he mean?_

Sugawara was fussing around you, “(N-Name)? Are you in pain?” 

You gave no answer. You were holding your chin, hiding your mouth. Nobody could see your face properly since your hair was blocking the way but there was blood on your face, your nose was bleeding quite badly and blood poured over your fingers. Then they saw it: there was a bruise on your left arm, _she really managed to block_. Your instincts had saved you, somehow you had managed to lift your arm between your face and Bokuto’s leg. 

“(N-Name)?”

You lifted your chin to see Bokuto. And when you did, everyone in the room felt chills. Major chills. It felt like the air would have vibrated itself. Your (e/c) eyes were wide open, burning. Focused. There was something in your eyes they had never seen in you.

As you wiped your nose with your bloody hand, they saw a smile similar to Hinata’s. No, even more fierce. 

You were _excited._

Bokuto felt chills go up and down his spine. “There it is”, he whispered. Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Akaashi and Kuroo glanced at him confused. “Those flames… I found them finally…” And when the men around Bokuto turned to see you again, they understood what he meant. You (e/c) orbs were flaming, glittering. They were bright and vibrant. Excited. Brutal.

Your heart was bounding in your chest strongly. Bokuto’s eyes were on you and somehow you enjoyed it. _He is taking me seriously_ , you thought as excitement trembled through your body. _Finally, somebody is taking me seriously here._

As you started to stumble up, Sugawara panicked, “(N-Name), don’t get up! You should rest!” But you weren’t listening. You felt no pain, you only heard your own heartbeat, blood flow through your body. Warm blood ran over your lips, but you just licked it away. “(Name)!”

“Once more”, you said calmly. Every man in the room felt agahast; you sounded so serious. You seemed to be in the same stage with Bokuto, concentrated. You wanted to fight. You turned to look at Daichi. The captain flinched when he met your eyes, “Sir, please let me continue.” 

Sugawara watched you in disbelief before turning at Daichi, “I d-don’t know if it’s wise!” 

Kuroo felt hypnotized, when you turned to look at Bokuto again he gulped. _Who are you?_ He glanced at Bokuto, _what did you do to her?_ Kuroo had hard time swallowing. Or standing. He wanted to see what would happen though it scared him. He sighed weakly and squeezed Bokuto’s shoulder, “Just… don’t kill her, okay?” 

Bokuto smiled without breaking eye contact with you, “Okay.” Kuroo gulped and squeezed the shoulder again before going back to sit. Oikawa and Sugawara watched him shocked but Kuroo just shook his head, he wasn’t too sure about this either. 

Iwaizumi look at you a moment before taking a deep breath. Soon he turned and pulled Oikawa with him. 

“I-Iwa-chan - - !” 

“She will be okay.” 

Oikawa watched Iwaizumi, confused. Worried. He turned to look at you once again, you were really focused. Were you even okay? There was so much blood. Would you be okay?

Only Akaashi stood between the two of you now. He felt an incredible pressure; you both wanted this. Akaashi glanced at Bokuto and then at Kuroo who just nodded weakly. Akaashi’s breath trembled as he sighed. He turned around and walked to you and stopped in front of you. You glanced up at him, eyes glimmering. Akaashi watched you troubled, _she looks so… satisfied._ He handed you a tissue before glancing at Bokuto again and walked to side. 

Sugawara didn’t want to believe this. It scared him. He turned to look at Daichi desperate, _will you really let this happen?_ Daichi sighed, troubled. “Just… easy, okay?”

Both of you smiled, “Roger.” 

You wiped your nose and face from the most of blood before putting the tissue on the side.  
You closed your eyes as you waited for the whistle. 

It felt great, all your senses had got sharper. It was such a familiar feeling. You were so focused on Bokuto that you hardly heard anyone else – it was almost like you were together, alone in a huge hall. Just the two of you. 

The whistle was blown. 

You could hear him. You felt him.

You dodged to side, air wafted past your ear. You opened your eyes and dodged again to other side. To the back and to the side again. When a hit was coming from the side you easily dodged it and attacked. You pushed Bokuto’s arm from your way before sinking your knee in his side. The man grunted and reached for you. You went under his hand. 

Everything felt like slowing down again. It felt like you were in charge of time and you decided not to waste it.

After attacking back and forth a couple of times you both were getting tired. Sweat was flowing, your skin felt hot, it was hard to breath. But you went on. You managed to kick him to his side a couple more times, but he couldn’t catch you. 

Bokuto started to get frustrated. You were completely different, you were… unpredictable. Faster and smoother. You knew exactly where to hit and when.

Oikawa watched your movements in awe. They were all elegant and connected. He had never thought you could move like that. The other Elites felt torn; while the match was magnificent to watch Bokuto was still in the lead. He had more power. Kageyama and Hinata had a hard time to understand what was even happening. What happened you? You were a completely different person. 

Maybe you were. For the moment you had forgotten everything that troubled you. The fact that somebody was finally taking you seriously made you feel… overwhelmingly grateful. You wanted to treasure that moment. You felt free.

As Bokuto attacked at you again, you kicked him in the stomach. He tried to catch your leg but you slipped away. You saw him bent down and took your chance. You climbed on top of him by using his leg as your footing and jumped to sit on his neck. You slipped your legs in his armpits and forced him to bend forward while pushing all your weight forward.

There was nothing he could do. 

You were the one to hit ground first but by dragging Bokuto’s weight with yours, you made a forward roll and threw Bokuto on the mattress. There was a loud bang. Before Bokuto could recover you choked him with your legs, squeezing his throat between your legs. 

As he tried to grip your legs you sat up and raised your elbow above his head. Bokuto stared into your (e/c) orbs and knew he had lost. He gulped as you brought the elbow down…

…and stopped right before it hit Bokuto’s face. The man looked up at you, terrified. Both of you were panting and huffing. You glanced at Daichi, you weren’t going to let Bokuto go before you were sure the match had ended. Daichi stared at you frozen before snapping out of his trance. 

He blew the whistle.

Bokuto’s eyes widened as he puffed, “D-did I lose?” He seemed to be back to normal. 

You let your legs relax around Bokuto’s head and you lifted your elbow from his face. It was hard to breath, exhaustion was finally hitting you, “I…I’m afraid… no…” you panted and fell on your back, “…it was… a tie…” 

Your face hurt. You could feel your pulse in your nostrils, your cheek had started to swell too, not to mention your arm. The bruise was getting darker.

Bokuto rolled over your leg and laid on his stomach, as he moved on his elbows his arms trembled. You had exhausted him, which was quite a rare sight. His ribs were on fire from your kicks. He couldn’t keep his head up and so pressed his cheek against the cool mattress. 

Everyone rushed to you two. 

“Are you guys alive?” Kuroo asked, there was concern in his voice. Both of you just groaned in growing pain. He laughed nervously, “I take that as a yes.” 

You were lying in a starfish position, you could taste and smell blood. Bokuto was lying on his arm, his face next to your leg. Oikawa fussed around you as Matsukawa and Hanamaki came to check on you, “(Name)-chan! Does it hurt?” 

“Yeah… it does...” 

Bokuto tried to laugh but it hurt too much. “Same here… thanks for your concern…” Oikawa just glared at him.

As others helped the two of you up, Sugawara watched you with a hurt expression. He had underestimated you once again. Sugawara bit his lip, _why can’t I take her seriously?_ He was hurting you with his actions, with his tenderness and caring, more than with a beating would. _Why can’t I give her what she wants?_ Sugawara pressed his head down.

“Is everything okay, Suga?”

Sugawara glanced up at Daichi while feeling dissatisfied. Daichi didn’t look concerned but supportive. Sugawara sighed, “I’m just hating myself right now, that’s all.” 

Both of them watched as Bokuto leaned on Kuroo with all of his weight while Oikawa and Hanamaki helped you up. New panic occurred as your nose started to bleed again – quickly there was five men fussing around you. None of them knew what to do.

“Has anybody got a tissue?!” “Here.” “Lift your chin up (Name)-chan!!” “Guys, seriously I’m fine so - - ” “Isn’t that just what you are _not_ supposed to do?” “How could I know?!” “Please calm d- - ” “Oh my god, oh my god, oh…” “Do you feel dizzy?” “Should you sit back down or - - ?”

“Just shUT THE FUCK UP!!” You shouted, annoyed, things were getting just more complicated with their fussing, “I’m the fucking medic here!!” 

As everyone apologized to you, you instructed them on how to proceed ad they did so somewhat calmly but when your legs suddenly gave in from exhaustion and blood loss was making you nauseous, the men had a brand new reason to panic. 

Sugawara had a hard time trying not to accompany you. He wanted to help you, to fuss over you, to calm everybody down so you would have room to breathe, to ease your anxiety, to make you feel better. But he couldn’t. He wasn’t needed, he wasn’t worthy. He had messed up enough already.

Daichi watched his silver haired friend’s expression turn sad and defeated. Somehow Daichi knew what the vice-captain was thinking. _You tend to blame yourself too much_. He sighed, “She is not going to hate you because of what happened.”

“How can you know?” Sugawara asked weakly. 

“Because you are Sugawara Koushi, the vice-captain of the Elites, and she respects you.” Sugawara glanced at Daichi and bit his lip. Could he be right? Daichi nodded at you, “You should check if she’s okay.” They turned to you. You were seriously getting angry, the men around you were losing their cool again since the bleeding hadn’t stopped. They weren’t helping the situation at all. 

Sugawara took a deep breath, finding the courage to face you once again. Soon he shot forward, determined, got a cold pack from the first-aid kit, and walked to you. “Everyone step back, give her room.” The authoritative voice of the vice-captain stopped the fussing immediately. Soon everyone took a step back from you. “Bokuto, Kuroo get mops and clean the blood on the mattress. Noya could you get warm water and towels. Others, go find something else to do. You are not needed at the moment.”

“Eeh? Why me? I am injured too!” Bokuto whined.

Sugawara glared at him, “You are the main reason why that blood is on that mattress. Get to work.” Bokuto fell silent and just nodded. 

While pressing your nostrils shut, you watched wide-eyed as everyone obeyed; Nishinoya, Bokuto (supported by Tanaka) and Kuroo went to get needed items while others moved to the side to wait. Oikawa had a really hard time leaving you but with Iwaizumi’s “assistance” the brunet was left no choice but to watch you from further away. 

“Please sit down, (Name)”, Sugawara said firmly but there was a hint of stress in his voice. His angelic face had a troubled look on it though he clearly tried to hide it. The light gray haired man sat in front of you and offered you the cold pack which you gladly pressed on your neck. Goosebumps went through your body. 

As Sugawara squeezed warm water from the towel, he spoke. Quietly, gently, and somehow carefully. “I know that I… messed up with you, and that you might find my presence uncomfortable…” Sugawara looked at you with his earnest, brown eyes and offered you the damp towel, “…but please let me worry about you.”

Your eyes widened with surprise, _he… wants to look after me?_ It felt absurd. It felt a little… sad even. You weren’t the type of person to let others take care of you after all. But Sugawara had been there for you since the day one. He had always made sure you were alright.

Just like now. 

Your silence made Sugawara feel nervous, _did I say too much?_ Had he messed up again? You glanced the towel he offered to you before lifting your gaze at the man in front of you.

“I appreciate it… thank you”, you said quietly. Since you were pinching your nostrils shut your voice sounded really nasal. As you let go of your nose to take the towel, warm blood ran over your lips and chin again.

“A-ah!” Sugawara gasped and pressed the towel on your mouth and chin. You stared at him confused, “I-I’m sorry! I panicked when I saw the blood!”

“Don’t mind…” The air around you turned a little awkward. Your hand was all sticky from blood, and you were afraid to touch anything with it. Especially Sugawara, since you didn’t want to stain him with your blood. “Since you are already at it you should finish it too”, you said bluntly.

Sugawara blinked a couple of times before a small blush appeared on his face. Then he laughed. A sweet laugh of relief. You brows furrowed at him but he just smiled, “You surely are surprising, (Name).” Sugawara wiped your face gently and when the bleeding finally stopped he started to tend to the bruise on your face.

Daichi watched, satisfied at with the two of you – there clearly was a bond of respect between you and the vice-captain. Daichi sighed happily, _she finally let somebody help her._ “After Kuroo and Bokuto are ready, let’s continue the practice!”

 

After the practice the men headed towards the showers of the gym while you went ahead to your room. Mashur sniffed your slightly bloody hands curiously, alerted. You had washed the most of blood away but of course your companion would notice. You crunched down and petted the dog, “I’m okay, really. Next I will go to shower and then we go for a short walk before the supper, okay?” 

Mashur sniffed your face gently as you spoke, fawning at the words ‘go’, ‘walk’ and ‘supper’.

Iwaizumi accompanied you during the walk with Mashur. He hid his worrying quite well though you noticed him to glance at your bruised arm and cheek time and again. 

As you laid on your bed and waited for sleep to come, you recalled the match between you and Bokuto. It was quite hard to remember the feeling you had felt. It was so rare. Confusing. You hadn’t even known that somebody like you could actually feel that… alive. 

You lifted your hand above you and stared it in dim light. _For a moment I felt so… invincible and somehow unstoppable_. It had been like every cell in your body had been ready, in your command, in that moment. It had tickled your body though you hadn’t felt anything. It felt like you could have continued forever though you had collapsed immediately when you had let go of that feeling.

It felt dangerous. Beautiful… but extremely treacherous.

You gulped and pressed your fist against your chest, _if I lose track of myself like that again…_ It could drain you in the worst possible moment. It could put you and the others in danger. Your heart started beating faster as you drowned in desperate thoughts of future and your past. You bit your lip. 

It scared you. For the first time in long time you felt afraid of yourself.

* * *

_In the dream you had been in the gym, facing a strong looking man. Bokuto? Something prevented you from seeing his face, a weird blur and mist. But somehow you knew that he wanted to fight you. You dodged, and dodged, attacked and dodged but couldn’t reach him. There was no one else in the park. A park? There was grass under your feet._

_Familiar feeling. Familiar figure. Muscular. Tall._

_You weret hit, on your chin. It made you lose your footing, a metallic taste appeared in your mouth. Blood. But you felt excited. He felt excited. You felt your body stir, getting ready. This feeling… I know it. You attacked the man with new force and finally reached him._

_Exhausted._

_It was hard to breath but you managed to kick him. Again. Again. When the man showed weakness, you climbed on top of him. On his shoulders. Forcing him to bend down. Roll-over. Crash. As you rose up to finish him, you felt a shooting pain in your stomach._

_You shrieked. Pain._

_It numbed you. What was happening? You were bleeding. Your bullet wound was bleeding, was hurting. Had it ripped open? No. It was hard to breath. You felt something come out of the wound. The bullet made a small ping sound as it hit the wooden floor. Huh?_

_No. No no no._

_You raised your gaze from the wound. He was standing in front of you. A gun in his hand. No. No no no! Your body felt stiff. Exhausted. Numb. You couldn’t move. You needed to move. You recognized that this was your nightmare. The same one you always had and it was supposed to stay same. Then why didn’t you move? You always moved in this part._

_Then you realized why. Exhaustion._

_The man loaded the gun._

_“You fool.” His lips moved but it wasn’t him who was speaking. His beautiful eyes were so cold._

_***BANG*** _

You shot up in your bed, gasping for air. Sweat drops ran down your forehead and neck, your back was damp. Instinctively, you reached for your scar. Once again you were gripping your scar like it was still bleeding. It felt clean, but the pain remained, like you actually had been shot a minute ago. It terrified you.

 _He shot me twice?!_ You felt a furious pain in your chest. He had aimed for your heart. To kill you. You remembered. You were supposed to die. You died, didn’t you? It was hard to breathe. But you couldn’t remember if it had actually happened. What had happened? 

You got up from your bed and crashed on the floor. Numbness. Your legs felt heavy, tired – every muscle in your body was screaming. They didn’t listen to you. It felt horrible, terrified you even more. _What happened to me?_ After forcing your legs to cooperate you reached the bathroom. 

Sudden bright light made your eyes sting.

You lifted your shirt in panic and checked in the mirror, the skin around the bullet scar was red and raw but not bleeding. Only the scar remained. No open wound. You checked your chest, only nail marks and bruises from the match against Bokuto. No wound. No bleeding. Realization made it easier to breathe. For a moment you felt relief before you realized how fucked up you were. 

“How fucking miserable can I be..?,” you whispered exhausted from the earlier shock as you sat down on cold ceramic tile floor while taking support from the sink. As you held your hand on the bullet wound you pressed your head down and gripped the sink. You gritted your teeth, “Fuck dammit!” 

You hated to feel so terrified. So weak and miserable. You felt so cold.

Soon Mashur accompanied you in the bathroom. He whined a little and licked your bruised cheek a couple of times before lying down next to you. The Shepherd lifted his huge head onto your lap and closed his eyes. Supported you. You bit your lip and furrowed, feeling like you could cry till morning. Still you refused to cry, like always. Crying wouldn’t solve anything. 

You stroked Mashur’s head, making the dog open his eyes little. “Right now I wish you could speak, buddy.” Mashur opened his eyes and turned his ears, listened, observed. “I wish you could tell me what to do.” It was so cold.

Though you knew. 

_If this is the price of that feeling_ , you thought as you gripped your scar, _I will not take it._

 

-

 

“Oh dear god, please kill me now”, Bokuto whined as he and the others waited for the breakfast time start. 

Sure, everybody felt tired and sore but Bokuto was clearly in the worst condition of the Elites. The kicks you had given him had created horrible bruises on his sides and every muscle in his body still seemed to pray for air. He was at the dining table with Akaashi and Iwaizumi, pressing his head against the table, beaten. He wasn’t sure if he could lift himself up anymore.

“Pff.. that is totally your own fault.” Kuroo laughed as he sipped his coffee on the couch with Daichi.

Everyone agreed. 

“It was your idea to make her fight like that”, Iwaizumi said, annoyed. Oikawa and Sugawara glanced Bokuto angrily. They were expecting more whining but instead Bokuto smiled. Then he suddenly laughed. 

“It was totally worth it though! She looked so excited!” Others gulped, it was hard to say back anything. You had seemed so excited after all. So fierce and somewhat… unwavering. But it still terrified how you would be right now. You had taken a kick almost straight to your face, and the way Bokuto was now it was clear that you wouldn’t be in any better shape.

Daichi was the one who mentioned it first, “By the way, did you see (Surname) during the morning run?” Everybody shook their heads, you hadn’t participated in the run this morning. Iwaizumi confirmed that he had seen Mashur outside an hour before the run but he hadn’t seen you. 

“Maybe (Name)-chan had went ahead while Mashur stayed behind?” Oikawa suggested. Iwaizumi just nodded his agreement – Mashur seemed to have his own routes to go after all. 

“There’s no way!” Bokuto shouted, “If I am like this she can’t be running without heavy pain medication! Can’t you see I am dying here?” 

Akaashi nodded in agreement. “I think it sounds quite impossible too. (Surname)-san took almost direct hit to her face after all.” Everybody gave Bokuto a look. The man just sighed, annoyed since he had been getting those looks a lot already though it was just morning.

“So… are we going to do something?” Kuroo asked.

“What exactly?” Daichi asked little suspiciously. Kuroo furrowed and raised his hands up.

“I don’t know! But it is clear that everyone is worried about her! Should we ask her if she’s okay, or go look for her if she is still outside or - - ”

Suddenly they heard the outdoor click open but the newcomer wasn’t you. Kindaichi peeked inside and was startled that everyone were staring at him. “U-um… I saw him wandering around and he led me here. It seemed he wanted to come inside so I - - ” Mashur slipped inside between Kindaichi’s legs, “A-ah wait!” 

“Don’t mind! He can come in.” Daichi called in reassuring tone. The Rookie calmed down immediately but before he could go Daichi spoke again. “Kindaichi! Did you see (Surname) when you came?” 

Kindaichi blinked a couple of times before shaking his head, “No, sir. Only the dog was outside.” 

“Ah, okay. Thank you! Go get your breakfast.” Kindaichi saluted and left. Meanwhile Mashur had made his way to your door and scratched it. When there was no answer, he barked once. The hall way echoed but still there was no response. Soon Mashur tilted his head and fawned a little at the door.

“It seems that (Name) is in there…” Kuroo said quietly. Suddenly, the door to your room opened and Mashur shot his eyes up at you. You raised your finger up your lips – ‘be quiet’. As you opened the door more Mashur slipped inside and you out.

“Stay”, your voice seemed rather emotionless. You had Mashur’s empty cup in your hand.

“(Name)-chaaaaan ~ “ Oikawa sang as he came towards you, “How are you? Did you sleep w - -?” 

You shut the door loudly and turned to see the men in the lounge. A sudden feeling of ill took over everyone and for good reason; you looked exhausted, likely half-dead. There were dark circles under your eyes and your bruised cheek had swollen more, making the eye on that side shut more than the other. The bruise on your arm had got larger and darkened too. 

But still it was you (e/c) eyes that twisted something in their guts. They were blurry and dim. There was no lively gleam in them, no sparks, nothing. 

“(N-Name)?” Sugawara asked carefully. It terrified him, _what had happened?_ You walked towards them, “Is everything alright?” 

You lifted your gaze making everyone look at you alerted.

You sighed as you made your way towards the kitchen, “I’m fine.” 

You hadn’t been able to sleep after that nightmare. You felt uncomfortable, insecure even. On some level of consciousness you were afraid that you would break down, that you would scream and cry because you felt so damn vulnerable, so weak. Disgusting. But you knew that it wouldn’t happen. You would never let that happen. Not in front of them. Crying never helped.

Nobody clearly believed your obvious little lie since they started to move around, stressed. You leaned down to get Mashur’s dog food from under the kitchen’s sink. After that action, it was quite clear that you weren’t okay. Your pain was visible; as you leaned down your body kindly reminded that you were not supposed to move in any direction and pulsating pain took over your body and made you grit your teeth. It got the worse the further you leaned. Still you managed to fill the empty cup with dog food. As you straightened up the pain eased. But it wasn’t enough. 

The worst part was that your bullet wound ached; it felt like it was inflamed.

Daichi found this alarming, he had learned that whenever you felt horribly bad you tended to grip your shirt around your stomach. He didn’t know why, though he could take a guess. “(Surname), please be honest with us.” 

He looked genuinely worried about your condition. The others seemed to observe you worriedly too. 

You took a deep breath, annoyed this time.

“Believe it or not, I feel fine. Yes, my body hurts but no, it doesn’t make me feel utterly miserable”, you said bitterly. You glanced everyone to see their reactions: none of them seemed to believe in your words. They seemed even more troubled now. Anger flared somewhere inside your numb body. “Why the fuck are you making those kind of faces? It’s clear I’m not the only one here with sore muscles!” Your voice came out sharper than you had meant.

Daichi took a step at you, “I’m sorry, (Surname), but you just don’t seem to be fine.”

You clicked your tongue, “Well I am.” 

Daichi furrowed, it was slightly annoying that you were once again turning their worrying down. 

Bokuto whined, “(Name), how can you even move? I can barely breath normally! You make no sense… like we went on each other for real. At least I thought so!” You glanced at the spiky haired male, he was looking directly at you. His golden eyes seemed tired but right after you made an eye contact with him his eyes seemed to reignite. “But… it was quite fun wasn’t it? I really enjoyed to see you so satisfied!” Bokuto smiled widely.

A lump raised to your throat, _satisfied?_

It made you feel disgusted. _Satisfied?_ Once again you felt like you were losing your grip from the reality, from the decisions you had made last night. Had you actually felt satisfied? You snapped out of your thoughts as pain got worse in your stomach – without realizing you had once again brought your hand on your stomach and sank your nails into the skin around the scar. 

“It was…” you started but the words got stuck in your throat. “It was not fun”, you finally lied. Somehow saying it out loud felt bad but you knew it was needed. This was for you. So you could move on. So you could forget.

Everyone stopped, you hadn’t liked it? Yesterday you had seemed totally different. Bokuto lifted his head from the table, his eyes were wide open, shocked. 

“You…” Bokuto blinked at you confused, “…didn’t like it?” It felt absurd – you had looked so excited, your eyes had burned (e/c) flames! And now you claimed that you didn’t like it. “Like… at all?” _Even a little?_

You grimaced in discomfort, “No and I will not act like that ever again. And I wish you would forget it soon too.” Everyone looked at you, aghast. What happened to you? You knew they would start to question you soon, _I need to leave_. You turned around and took Mashur’s cup, “I will not eat breakfast today so please go ahead.”

 _I need to hurry_.

As you headed towards your room you could hear steps behind you. Alertness ran through your body. For a moment you wanted to flee.

To run.

Soon Daichi reached and stopped you. “Has something happened?” There was severity in the captain’s voice but still he didn’t sound threatening. It annoyed you. “I can clearly see that something is going on so don’t you dare to come up with any lame excuses. This is something deeper than just sore muscles and exhaustion, right?” 

His brown eyes were severe.

“Even if there was something deeper going on it would still be my own business, not yours.” You said back poisonously. There was a short stare down between you and the captain - neither one of you were pleased. Sugawara and the others watched you two, alerted. 

Mashur’s whining behind the door broke the silence. You dug your keys from the pocket you always kept them in and turned to open the door. For a moment you thought that Daichi would let you be though a small voice in your head reminded that he wouldn’t. And he didn’t. Before you could escape to your room he spoke again. 

“You can talk to us; you should rely on us whenever there is even a slight need for it, (Name).”

“I have already someone who I can rely on.” Mashur licked his lips as you came in and commanded him to sit down and wait. After he obeyed you put the bowl down next to the water bowl. Your body refused to cooperate.

Daichi stayed by the doorway, “You have us too.” He sounded desperate.

“I’m afraid you are wrong…” You said tiredly as you walked to the door and leaned forward, forcing Daichi to take a step back, “…it’s _you_ guys who have _me_.” There was a tired smile on your lips. Your words stung. Numbed. Daichi watched you desperately but couldn't say anything back. He didn’t want to let you go. He wanted an explanation but he couldn’t act.

And so you closed the door.

Daichi stood a moment still before glancing at his team. They had clearly heard the conversation, all of them looked crestfallen. The air around them had grew heavy as you thoughts of them sunk in. For a moment it had felt they had finally reached you and made you open up, and yet it had been a ‘one step forward, two steps back’ kind of situation. 

You had once again rejected them. 

Daichi sighed. “Let’s go to eat.” Slowly the Elites got ready to leave – expect Bokuto, who made no action to get up. Akaashi watched him concerned before encouraging him to get up. Kuroo joined to encourage his gray-haired friend but it was only after Iwaizumi joined to encourage Bokuto that the man finally found enough strength and courage to get up. 

 

You took part in the normal practices but refused to spend time with the Elites. They didn’t see you during meal nor the free time. During supper, they saw you leave the canteen first. But little by little you returned to them; one day you started to eat meals with them again, the following day you spend your free time practicing with Oikawa and Sugawara and soon it was like nothing bad had actually happened. It was like you had gotten over it.

Like you had forgotten it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience! The school is taking all the free time >^<
> 
> Your sweet messages and compliments have truly touched me ; w ; you all are so kind! I have written your comments on post-it notes and placed them on the wall around my computer. You truly encourage me to continue this series and make it even more entertaining for you <3 Thank you!
> 
> Hopefully you enjoyed the new chapter! :)


	7. One match can make an explosion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...where can I even begin ;; I'm so so sorry for the delay!! Please forgive me!  
>  At first my beta was super-busy whole time, but now I haven't been able to reach her for two months.  
> I tried to stay positive and understanding but... yeah... looks like I don't have a beta anymore ^^'
> 
> BUT! 
> 
> This doesn't stop me; I'm still going to keep writing the series! Without a beta-reader it just take more time to check and correct the text, and the outcome will still be full of errors and misspells (I'm stubbornly blind to see errors on my own text). If you are okay with this, please keep enjoying the series. <3 I have warned you though!

****

**(A/N): THIS CHAPTER IS NOT BETAED!**

* * *

* * *

“Next ones!” You shouted after you had written down previous results. “Ready! Set! GO!” 

Three soldiers rushed towards the first obstacle, while you observed them carefully from the side. You were holding an educating mobility test for the half of the Rookies. Earlier you had held a shooting practice with Kageyama; while Kageyama had been directing the Rookies, you had been observing and writing down the results. Currently he was holding hand to hand combat with Takinoue to the other half of the Rookies. Soon you would switch the groups.

Everything had gone well so far. You had heard some of the soldiers complaining behind you back but one glare from you had shut them up. The training made you feel complicated but you endured it. You _had no choice_ but to endure it.

The Elites had been called for a mission and they had left in a rush at night. You hadn’t been told where they were going or what they were doing but their cold calmness and quietness suggested that something severe had happened.

It was decided that you wouldn’t be accompanying them.

“ _This mission is far too risky so we can’t take any Rookies or Elite-candidates with us. Only fully-trained soldiers from here and the other bases will accompany us._ ” Daichi had told you while he had been putting a full gear on; they were meeting the enemy in close combat. As Daichi had been putting his combat helmet on, he had continued: “ _(Surname) I called you here because I need your help. You need you to take care of the Rookie’s training while we are gone. Make an agreement with Kageyama and Takinoue how you will train them._ ”

“ _...roger, sir._ ” You hadn’t been thrilled about the order, but Daichi needed your help. How could you have refused him? Daichi had smiled warmly as he patted your shoulder before squeezing it firmly. Warmth of his hand had made you feel shivers.

“ _You think that it will not work out so well, but I know you can do it. I believe in you! I know you know what’s the best for them._ ” Daichi had smiled widely before giving your shoulder one last squeeze and running to the battle-helicopter with other Elites. 

 

His words still rang in your head, making you feel annoyed and flustered at the same time. Complicated. His words had caught you completely off your guard. 

You couldn’t let him down.

“Don’t stare at your feet while running! Anticipate what is coming!”, you shouted as some Rookies ran past you. ”Look forward!” 

After everyone finished and you had written down the results you showed them some useful tips. You showed how to drop down so they wouldn’t hurt their knees or ankles in progress. You showed how to rhythm their steps and how to keep that rhythm so they wouldn’t wear out quickly. For your surprise, the Rookies listened to you… or they just spaced out, but you decided it wasn’t your fault. It was their loss.

After the practices, you went to check out Mashur. It has been about two weeks since he hurt his paw and the wound had finally healed. Still, you put strappings on his paws to be on the safe side. Another infection would feel twice as nasty than the first one. After a test run you noticed that Mashur wasn’t limping anymore. 

He wasn’t the only one who had overcome some “obstacles” – it had taken several days for Elites get over the fact you didn’t want to fight against any of them full on anymore. Bokuto had hard time to accept it but after you started to ignore and avoid him every time he brought the subject up, the gray-haired Elite had finally let the matter be – your friendship was more important for him.

Mashur waited outside the canteen while you went to eat dinner. The round table of Elites stood empty and quiet. Lifeless. Since the Elites weren’t in attendance there was no reason for you to sit at that table so you went to sit with other soldiers, ate, and left. 

After the last training, you decided to check if your help was needed in the clinic. What a silly thought though… of course your help was needed. More than ever as always.

Dr. Takeda was really stressed out. There was a major hustle in the clinic plus he had some personal things to do; he needed to get ready for the annual health checks, he needed to make plenty orders for the medicines and other equipment, et cetera. Still it was surprising how much time he used to talk about his stress than actually doing something for the matter. He just talked and talked! You knew _everything_ that was stressing him right now. 

As you helped him with the routine checks in the clinic Takeda got an urgent message – the Elites were coming back with their troops. Many had gotten injured, plus there was a prisoner with them. 

Dr. Takeda checked the time and got troubled, “(S-Surname), could you check that Elites have everything well?”

“Are you sure you don’t need me here? There will be many injured soldiers…” 

“I will manage, I’ll call some medic trainees to help me. Just come help me after you finish, o-okay?”

And so, it had been settled. You were told to wait in a lobby of the main building since the Elites had something urgent to discuss with the commander in the upstairs once he had read the report of this mission. Plus, the prison of the base was situated under the main building and the convict would be interrogated right after his wounds would be checked. You had the first aid kid and other portable devices with you and you were fully prepared pretty much for anything. As you checked the equipment once again, you sighed, _hope for the best, prepare for the worst._

Soon the first vehicles arrived and injured soldiers were moved towards the clinic. Limping with aid or carried. There was so many of them. There were soldiers from other bases too. Air turned heavy. _What happened there?_

The door swung open so suddenly that you jumped. It was Kuroo. There were blood speckles on his chin and his black shirt’s sleeves were damp from blood. He seemed to be in his own thoughts, as he rushed in. For a moment, he seemed lost. Kuroo stopped when he realized that you were there and your eyes met, and suddenly his golden eyes turned troubled. Hurt. His mouth moved as he was going to say something but then he turned his gaze away. 

You felt immediately anxious, _what was that?_ Your body shivered. What was going on?

Soon the others Elites followed him inside. Iwaizumi helped limping Oikawa in, he had clearly hurt his knee. You had noticed that his right knee was weaker than the left one when you had arrived in Crow’s Nest. He had probably sprained it long time ago, and now it only haunted him. You had known from day one that someday you would need to treat his knee and lecture him about it. 

You rushed to help him but he immediately refused your help.

“I think you should take a look at him first…”, Oikawa said as he was helped to sit down and nodded towards the door. Bokuto came in with a tanned man, an Aryleanese. It didn’t take long for you to realize that the man was a Blood Brother. His clothes were dusty and bloody, and he had red markings under his eyes. It wasn’t uncommon from a Blood Brother; they believed that the previous "true blooded" kings helped them to see through falsehood with that red painting. It was known, that some Blood Brothers painted their face with real blood.

Bokuto handled him rather roughly while the others glared at him silently.

The Blood Brother’s right hand was bleeding badly: his forefinger was half tore, you didn’t even need to be close to see his fingers bone sticking out of the flesh. His middle-finger wasn’t in any better shape: he had major internal bleeding in his hand. The skin had turned dark and the hand was swollen. Bokuto forced the man sit down and handcuffed his non-injured into the back of the chair.

Bokuto seemed really angry. Ridiculously angry. He seemed to be ready to kill the Blood Brother at any time. Soon Sugawara and Akaashi came in. They had only scratches on their face. You scanned everyone quickly; it seemed like Oikawa was the only one who had really injured. Akaashi’s seemed to be cautious of his left shoulder, but made no number of it.

Only one person was missing.

“Where is Sawamura?” You asked cautiously as you put single-use gloves on and started to press the Blood Brother’s wound to stop the bleeding. Though you weren’t looking, you heard how everybody grimaced, “What has happened?” 

“They…” Kuroo started while glaring at the convict. He was angry, frustrated. His body shivered as he tried to keep everything in. “…the enemy got him. An ambush. We didn’t see it coming.” The men seemed to flinch to the memory.

Your eyes widened. _What?_ They had got the captain of the Elites? You could hear you heart beating louder and louder. Daichi wasn’t coming back? You could hear his voice in your head:

“ _\- - you can do it!_ ” Daichi had smiled so brightly at you less than 20 hours ago. His voice sounded so distant now. “ _I believe in you!_ ”

“Okay…” You needed to find your words again. _I can’t freeze now._ “Okay. What’s the plan? Shouldn’t we go after them right now?” 

“W-we will figure out something! (Name), you should treat his wounds first… you know our politics here.” Sugawara tried to sound confident though it didn’t really work. He nodded at the prisoner who seemed to get really amused about the situation. You nodded and started to clean his damaged hand, but the man suddenly laughed. 

”Ghwahahaha so it is tru! You fools treat your prisoners like they woud be your guests!” A filthy laughing filled the hall, echoing in the empty space like there would be more than just one Blood Brother in the building. 

Shivers ran through your arms; you wanted to punch him. You concentrated on the wound to keep your head cool: the wound looked nasty and was already infected, there was symptoms you met rarely. You needed to think. While you kept exploring the damage on your ‘guest’s’ hand you could hear Oikawa cursing loudly. 

“What the fuck did you say?!” Oikawa tried to get up, wincing when he put weight on his knee. Iwaizumi ordered his teammate to calm down. Akaashi stepped between Oikawa and the convict so there wouldn’t be straight line between them. No eye-contact. It calmed the situation down a bit.

You took a cold pack from your supplies and threw it to Iwaizumi, “Press his knee with it.”

While Iwaizumi did as he was told, you observed the men in the room. They all looked devastated. They had no clue where the enemy would have taken their captain. You had heard that they had lost a well-respected captain once already, and you were quite sure that right now they were remembering it like it would have happened the yesterday. _They don’t know what to do._

Sugawara met with the commander quickly and told him about the situation. The commander promised to do whatever he could but without leads nothing would proceed quickly enough. A chaos was about to ignite.

Everybody really tried to come up with something that could help them to get information about their captain’s whereabouts. Kuroo was already connecting Kenma and Tsukishima again while Bokuto came up with crazy ideas to get information. Unfortunately Akaashi and Iwaizumi had to strike every one of them down by referring in ‘the morality of the Elites’ and ‘the all-mighty rulebook’. The guest must not be harmed anyway. 

Their struggling made you feel rather vile. _Sawamura would know what to do._

You remembered Daichi’s smile from the morning. “ _I believe in you!_ ” For a moment, it somehow felt as if he patted your shoulder again. His hand had been so warm. Your natural urge to get in to action was kicking in. _But what could I do…_ There had to be something. A start of an idea was sprouting inside your head. _What can I do?_

Seeing Suga in such distress really, _really_ , hurt you. The gray-haired man was pale, staring at the dark grey floor as if the solution could be found if he just stared hard enough. Lively shine had vanished from his brown eyes. He looked ghostly. Suga didn’t want to think what could have happened to his best friend and captain, but it was unavoidable. As the vice-captain of the base everything was now on his shoulders. 

As Bokuto was running out of ideas, and the communication team of the Elites informed that they wouldn’t be able to help without even a small hint. For the first time, they felt trapped. Helpless. Even pitiful. The Blood Brother found this extremely hilarious. 

“PHAHAHA!! Look at u! What happened to those almighty Elites?”

That was enough. You had to try your plan though you hadn’t thought it through yet.

“It seems you are familiar with that one rule: ‘ _No man of the Elites is allowed to use any kind of violation on convicts for information retrieval, as a punishment or as an intimidation. Convicts must be on the same level with the guests, without forgetting general safety._ ’ But you know…” You lifted your chin to look directly at your patient’s eyes, “…that isn’t the only rule we have here.”

The laughing died and the man whose wounds you were treating looked down at you. His facial expression was something between confused and disregard. He rose his eye brown asking manner. _He is doupting._

The Elites stared at you confused. 

You had to try. 

“We also have some ground rules which everybody must obey here. One of them goes ‘ _The role you have given must be followed. Mistreating your role in any way shall be punished as needed_ ’, and you have surely mistreated your role as ‘a guest’ with your ill-mannered behavioral. You really can get hurt in here.” 

As you spoke you kept cleaning his wounds, using a little rougher touch as you ended your sentence. A warning.

Well… the rule didn’t mean exactly that – more like ‘a strategist is not allowed get involved with medicines’ or ‘a soldier is not allowed to act over his superiors’ kind of thing but somebody could understand it like the way you had just used it. At least if you were, or acted, stupid enough.

The Elites were looking at you astonished with the same though in their heads: _how in earth can she remember those rules from word to word?_ Even Sugawara had snapped out of his trance, and tried now to keep on track what was happening in the main building’s lounge. 

The Blood Brother stared at you while a mocking smile appeared on his face. “Whut is your point in tha?” 

You looked at the man straight into his eyes and gave your answer with straight face. 

_For the both of us, please cooperate_ , you thought a bit desperately.

“My point is that if you give us the information about the location of Sawamura Daichi we can look over your punishment. We make sure nothing bad will come to you if you cooperate with our negotiator.” 

Your partners-to-be seemed to get new strength from your idea. _That is brilliant, (Name)!_ , Sugawara thought with others, _this could wo - -!_

But there really was no time to hold breath for the prisoner’s answer… he started head on laughing with gruff voice. For him this was hilarious. As you waited quiet for him to calm down you could feel the air get heavier as Suga and others sunk their heads down. They thought there was no hope anymore. _You sighed, I’m sorry everyone…_

“ _You may think it will not work out so well but I know you can do it._ ” 

The Blood Brother spat at you. “You stupid bitch have forgotten your own rule! Bhwaha!”, imitating your voice he continued, “It goes ‘ _No man of the Elites is allowed to use a- -_ ’” 

_“I know you know what’s the best for them.”_

_I'm sorry._

***CRACK***

The sentence was cut short as the Blood Brother screamed in utter pain in inhuman way.

With one ruthless movement, you had snapped his half torn forefinger and badly damaged middle-finger outwards forcing the first mentioned to break and the latter to dislocate. The chair had went down with one strong kick to your dear guest’s chest and now he was laying on the floor fighting for his breath. You towered over him while twisting his broken hand. Blood trailed down your hand as the bone had cut through from the flesh of his finger. 

The blood and your cold eyes made the man shriek in fear. 

“GraaAAAaaahaaa!! B-b-but youyou you c-ca-can’t… AAAAaaggrht.. the E-elite’s - -!!!”, you twitched his hand to shut him up. It made him scream but at least he wasn’t telling you the rules you already knew. 

“A man of the Elites this or that! Mister… to your misfortune I am **not a man** or even part of the Elites yet. That shit doesn’t work on me.” You watched the man looking up you in horror, tears running down his face. There was no sympathy left for the man since you had warned him. “Maybe you listen to me now.”

The mood in the room had dramatically changed after your actions. Oikawa, Iwaizumi and Akaashi were watching you in terror, eyes wide open, frozen. You had really gone from zero to over one hundred without giving even a small hint of doing so. Unexpectedly. Some others took this slightly better: Kuroo and Bokuto were in awe how quick and brutal your movements had been. But they weren’t going to say it aloud because _shit you were in trouble now_! Knowing that too, you left no time to lose and leaned closer to face the man who was now whining pitifully. 

“I’ll give you one more chance to cooperate, okay? When you go in the interrogation room you **_will_** speak. But **_if you don’t_** , just believe me…” You brought your face so close to the Blood Brother’s so your noses almost touched, and threatened him as poisonously as you could: “…nothing would please me more than rip these filthy fingers of yours and **_seal them_** up to your arse.” You could hear Kuroo and Bokuto gulp at the same time with the Blood Brother. “Do you understand?”

The immortal smug who had come in the Crow’s Nest was now gone, and whimpering, currently furiously nodding, a weak mortal man had become in replace. What a change. He shivered nicely under your cold glare. The horror was visible in his eyes. 

Oh but so it was in Suga’s eyes too. 

“W-what in earth are you standing there for?!” The vice-captain shouted at his underlings in disbelief. “Stop her! NOW!” Oh _he was not pleased_ , no not at all. His brown eyes were locked on you, shocked, like you would had deceived him. Erm, you kind of had, but you didn’t really put too much though on it. There was no room to start feeling guilty now.

You gave a last pitying smile to the convict before walking away from him to the first one who came to get you. Iwaizumi caught your left arm and twisted it behind your back. Not too harshly but hard enough to make his point clear – you wouldn’t go anywhere now. 

Without questioning you obeyed.

_Now I have done it… hopefully you still believe in me, Sawamura?_  
  


* * *

 

Since doctor Takeda was extremely busy with the other patients, the prisoner was first sent in to the interrogation room with Akaashi and Kuroo. He had to deal with painkillers for now, he would get needed treatment later. You just hoped he would do as you had “kindly” recommended him to do. Meanwhile you went to the Commander Ukai with Iwaizumi and Sugawara. 

You were left alone with Ukai, who looked rather displeased. 

“What happened?”, he asked in serious tone while leaning on his table, facing you directly and smoking tobacco. Before you even could open your mouth he continued. “No wait, more like… what were you thinking? You stated the rules and disobey them under the same minute!?” 

“He didn’t follow his role as a gue - -” 

Ukai slammed his hand against the table before marching to you.

“No, YOU didn’t follow YOUR role as the base’s paramedic! From what I heard you did not only threaten the convict but also tortured him TO get information out of him! Is this true?” His face was about three centimeters away yours, an eye contact was unavoidable. 

You gulped. “Sir, I - -” 

“FUCK DAMN IT (SURNAME)! What the fuck were you thinking?!” The commander walked furiously back and forth in front of you. He glared at you every time he turned. “Dishonoring the rules of Elites and using them falsely is serious matter! Those are the highest rules here, and you went and _spat_ at them.”

_I’m the one who got spat at…_ you thought. That moment would have been right moment for you to shut up, but you didn’t. 

“I afraid you are wrong, sir.” You were playing with fire on a field flooding with gasoline, you knew, but you really weren’t trying to find easy way out of this. 

Ukai stopped, “What do you mean?” 

“I just… misunderstood the rules… and as a Rookie I don’t need to follow the rules of the Elites… if I’m correct.” The commander stopped in front of you. Once again he brought his face close to yours while he pointed at you. Threatening.

“Don’t you dare to play a fool in front of me, (Surname). I know you are smarter than that!” 

You swallowed, “I’m sorry that the level of my knowledge doesn’t reach your expectations, sir.”

Ukai stared at you dumbfounded. 

Ukai sat back down on his bench and stared at you a great while, but you avoided the eye contact. Silence turned ill. Ukai found your acting infuriating. Still, the more he thought about the rules the better he understood how brilliantly you had used them. There really were holes in the base’s rulebook, he knew, but realizing that made him feel even angrier.

“You are really pushing the limits here, (Surname). Do you understand where your actions can lead?” 

You bit your lips sealed and gulped. You understood very well what could happen to you: the best scenario was that your punishment would be only demotion and you would stay as a Rookie for the rest of your service. The worst scenario… well… you would be a traitor. You would be sent back to (home country) just to sit in prison a part of your life. 

You needed to keep your cool. 

“I don’t quite understand why I am punished from a mistake, sir. Like I said, I misunderstood the rules.”

Ukai kept staring at you a while before sighing, you weren’t going to admit anything. So he couldn’t charge you from anything either. _There is little I can do and there are far more important things to be solved_. His eyes relented slightly. 

“Listen carefully. I didn’t mention about this to Takeda. As a timid person, he would probably be wary around you if he knew that you had violated a convict, and he really likes you. Look, this is all kindness you can get from me so don’t mess with it.” His eyes were cold and serious on you. He wasn’t kidding. He sighed, “You can leave now but stay away from the trouble.” 

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” You said while hiding your surprise. Though Ukai had clearly known you were acting stupid, he had let you go. After stepping outside Iwaizumi immediately stepped in front of you. Though he tried to hide it you knew he was anxious, his eyes always told the truth. He didn’t want to treat you like a criminal.

“She is free to go. I will continue with her after we solve this… mess.” The commander half-shouted from his room to Iwaizumi. After hearing this Iwaizumi visibly relaxed in your eyes as he stepped to side and nodded. 

Iwaizumi walked with you to the lobby, your first aid kit was still on the table. As you started to organize equipment you had only one question in your mind, “Have you found Sawamura yet?”

For a moment Iwaizumi hesitated to tell you but gave in, “...the convict gave us information a bit of here and there. Kenma and others are already digging into that information but so far it hasn’t given us any results.” Iwaizumi seemed tired. Exhausted, maybe even sad. He tried to hide it by maintaining his posture and keeping his chin up. But you saw the truth.

“I see.” You took your first aid kit and moved towards the door. Thia alerted Iwaizumi and he grabbed your arm to stop you.

“Where are you going?” 

You sighed, “Relax Iwaizumi… I’m heading to the clinic, Dr. Takeda told me to help him when I’m finished here. There were many injured.” 

Iwaizumi grimaced little. Was he hesitating? 

Then you realized, _oh… our guest is in the clinic too, isn’t he?_

Iwaizumi was fighting between letting you go and stopping you. He knew your help was needed but then again… what would happen if you met the Blood Brother again. _Shit, what am I supposed to do?_ His mind refused to cooperate with him.

“You know, you could come to help us too.” Baffled Iwaizumi blinked a couple of times, _...help?_ You seemed serious, “Your presence would definitely calm them down and I think you could help with cleaning the wounds and putting bandages. Little things but huge help.”

You knew Iwaizumi wanted to act to help his captain. This wasn’t really the same thing and wouldn’t help them find Sawamura but it could give him peace when he could help someone else. He would be able to act at least. Plus he could keep an eye on you as he wanted. Soon Iwaizumi walked to you and nodded, “I will help. I… I don’t want just sit and wait.” 

After a nod, you stepped outside and headed towards the clinic with the Elite. 

It didn’t take long for you and Iwaizumi to get buried in work. There was a hustle in the clinic: bullet wounds, wounds from frag grenades, sprains, broken bones… Every medic from the Crow’s Nest was working to save lives there. With your and their guidance Iwaizumi was able to help the injured. 

At some point, you ran out bandages and went to a stock get more. As you were coming back you bumped in Takeda.

“(Surname)! You finally were able to come!” The doctor looked really stressed. You couldn’t but notice that he had a file on in his armpit, and on its cover was written ‘convict’ and this day.

“Ah, yes." You had hard time to tear your gaze away from the file. "It seems... that... everything is under control in the clinic too.” 

There was a conflict between forces of good and evil going inside you. The evil spirit was telling you to start a hustle, to put more pressure on the doctor so you could reach the convict again – to make him tell this time e v e r y t h i n g. The spirit of good was just whimpering pathetically ‘don’t do it, don’t do it.’ 

It was quite clear what you decided to do, _I’m already in trouble after all._

“But hey Dr. Takeda! Have you looked the order form for medical equipment that I gave you?” 

Takeda turned pale when he remembered. He had promised to take care of it after all. “A-aah! I really had forgotten! I’m sorry (Surname), I’ve been really, really busy and only getting busier! I haven’t been able to event sent mine own order form a-and the first-aid station is still full of injured soldiers and now I have this convict’s hand to fix a-and…” 

You acted troubled, but ignored his words. It was cruel but you could always apologize later. “Correct me if I’m wrong but shouldn’t those forms be sent by end of this week in order them to arrive in time? I might be wrong too.” 

“I-it can’t be! Oh god! I will never be able to send them..!” Takeda turned anxious. He trembled from horror. Suddenly he seemed to come up with something and turned to you quickly, “(S-surname), could you please help me. Have you ever amputated a finger?” 

You acted surprised. “I haven’t amputated but I have treated those who have lost fingers.” You answered truthfully before acting stupid again. “Why do you ask?” _You need my help with the convict, don’t you doctor?_

“This convict I need to tread has really damaged hand which need quick finger amputation. I-I was th-thinking if you could do it w-while I sent those forms?” 

_Got you…_ you thought as you acted shocked. You blinked before stepping back little.

“Eh? But doctor, I have no education for such - -”

“Please (Surname), I will guide you the whole way through it! That finger must be amputated soon! I know you have skills to do it so please help me!” He was desperate. Takeda really needed your help. Just how could you ever refuse? 

You acted like the matter actually troubled you before sighing. “…okay then. Can you make him ready for a surgery?” 

Relieve was very visible in the doctor's eyes, he even seemed to be able to breath better. “Yes! Thank you! Come to the operating room as quickly you just can! Thank you!”

As Takeda headed towards the operating room you stood in silence in the hallway. Was this right thing to do? You would need to face Ukai again. Shivers ran through your body when you recalled your last meeting with the commander.

_Why am I going this far again?_

It wasn’t like you to work against rules. You always followed the orders, since orders and rules were the only things you believed in. Only things that made sense in this world… and now you were stepping over the line for the second time. You could always say that you didn’t lie… you just didn’t tell everything: you just hid something major. It had become so easy to you, it was already like a part of your nature. 

Suddenly you remembered Daichi again. The way he had smiled at you. Those words. Had he ever judged or doubt you? He hadn’t. Actually, none of the Elites had ever judged you. They constantly wanted to make you feel good.

_I am doing this… for them_ , you realized. The men who always looked after you were now suffering. _They need this to be done_.

After taking a deep breath you took the bandages in the clinic before slipping away without noticing. At the door of the operating room you collected your thoughts, _I’m doing this to get him back. For them_. You wanted everything return to normal. You wanted that round table in the canteen be lively and loud again. _They are helpless without him._

And you stepped in. 

-

It took over a half hour for Iwaizumi to notice your absence. He observed the clinic and searched every room before asking if somebody had seen you. A medic told that he had seen you in the hallway with Dr. Takeda. The hair on Iwaizumi’s neck stood up, _shit, did she go with him?!_

And when he rushed in the operating room, you stood there a surgical mask on your face, rubber gloves on your hands in surgical wear, beside the convict who was in deep sleep while you operated his hand. Iwaizumi watched you in horror, “What are you doing, (Surname)?!” 

Suddenly Dr. Takeda stood up confused, “I-Iwaizumi-san, you are not allowed to be in here! We are in the middle of the surgery!” 

“I’m sorry for my rudeness but is she allowed to be here either?” Iwaizumi asked confused. Did Takeda know that you were the one who had demolished the convict’s hand? Was he okay with it? 

Takeda turned even more confused, “Why she wouldn’t be able to be in here? (Surname) is helping me as a colleague medic!” 

Takeda turned to look at you. 

You gulped, _okay I need to solve this quickly_.

“Iwaizumi, Commander requested me to help anyone I can and Dr. Takeda himself asked my help. Everything is alright.” Iwaizumi calmed down little though it still felt strange. Everyone knew that Takeda got really easily frightened, he wouldn’t let you help him if… 

_If._

… _he doesn’t know what (Name) has done_. Iwaizumi gulped. But since the commander had suggested you to help here, there wouldn’t be any harm. Or would there? He couldn’t be sure. _I need to contact the commander to be for sure_ … 

Iwaizumi stepped back, “I’m sorry to interrupt you.” He glanced at you suspiciously before stepping outside.

As the door clicked shut you knew you needed to hurry, _he is going to ask Ukai’s guidance_. Takeda was still very confused of what was happening. 

“W-what was that? (Surname), why he said you shouldn’t be in here?” He was starting to tremble again. He looked at you, anxiously. You sighed, _tell a truth without telling anything major_. 

“Don’t mind about him doctor. It’s just a cultural difference which was bothering him… Aryleanese don’t believe in female soldiers so the fact I’m tending this man is… ummm… kind of offending. For our ‘guest’ at least.” 

Dr. Takeda weighted your words a while, before sighing relieved. 

You acted your panic, “I’m truly sorry I didn’t tell you about this sooner!”

“Oh don’t mind. If I just leave you out of the report there shouldn’t be any problems, right? He is unconscious after all!” Takeda smiled under his surgical mask. After you nodded he returned to fill the order form for the needed medical equipment. With his guidance, you finished the amputation of the convict’s finger and put on the bandages. You bandaged the hand so it looked almost like he had all the fingers. You felt quite proud about it.

You had nearly finished, when Ukai dashed in with Iwaizumi. “What is happening here?! (Surname) you promised me to - -” Dr. Takeda stood up again and stared at Ukai confused, forcing the commander to shut up. _I promised to hide her actions so they could keep cooperating, shit dammit!_ Ukai crossed his arms and tried to smile friendly at you. “I m-mean, weren’t you supposed to help in the clinic? Hm? What are you doing?” 

Before you could answer Dr. Takeda stepped between Ukai and you. 

“I asked (Surname)’s help myself, and she has been very helpful! I know her presence is offending our convict but he doesn’t need to know she was here!” Takeda bend over in a perfect 90 degrees bow at Ukai, “Please look over this for me!”

_Why would her presence be offending the convict? What is he talking about?_ Ukai blinked a couple of times, distressed. That bow meant that Takeda wouldn’t get up unless Ukai agreed. Ukai and Iwaizumi stared at you questionable way but you just avoided eye contact dumbly. 

_This little…_

“Phaa… I look over this just this time! Next time inform me first, okay?” Ukai’s voice was serious. His smile to you was forced and made shivers run through your spine. Takeda shoot up and thanked him. Ukai waved you to follow him to change room, and so you left Takeda to finish his work. 

As you were taking off your equipment Ukai snarled at you, “I told you to stay out of trouble and it took exactly 1 h and 34 minutes for you to get into a trouble again!” 

Iwaizumi observed you troubled. You took off your gloves and put them in the pocket of the surgical wear. There was no sign of remorse in you.

“Did I really get into a trouble by helping Dr. Takeda?” You asked as you took the surgical mask away and opened your hair. 

“I told you to stay away from the convict!”

“No, actually you didn’t”, you deadpanned as you folded the wear on the bench. There was confidence in your (e/c) eyes.

Ukai grimaced, he really hadn’t said anything about it. 

“Well now I do: stay away from the convict! Not even higher forces will help you if you don’t!” Angry and embarrassed he left the room, leaving you alone with Iwaizumi. Both of you could hear his ranting in the hallway as he stomped away. After a glance to each other you decided to ignore Iwaizumi, he might leave you alone after realizing you didn’t want to talk. 

It didn’t work very well. 

“Just what are you plotting?” You glanced at him again in tired manner. Iwaizumi squinted but didn’t back down, “Seriously, I have been with Oikawa over two thirds of my life – I can already sense if somebody is scheming something. So, what is it?” 

You stuffed the surgical wear and mask in the garbage bag and shut it. 

“I’m really getting tired to all this suspecting, Iwaizumi. I just helped Takeda as you saw! The convict was unconscious whole time and Takeda was in the same room with me! Why can’t you let me be?” This took Iwaizumi aback little but you weren’t done yet. “Look, I know this is stressing. It’s frustrating that things aren’t proceeding but please don’t overthink things.” 

Iwaizumi got little ashamed. He stared at his feet a while before you continued. Your voice was gentler, “I think you should go support your partners. This isn’t easy for them either.” 

After your eyes met, Iwaizumi saw that you tried to calm him down. It felt like your eyes were telling that things would solve out. Everything would be okay soon. It calmed.

“I guess you are right.” He nodded frustrated, _I’m really overthinking_ … “Will you come with me? I don’t… know what to do with Oikawa’s knee and it is almost time for the supper…”

You nodded, “Sure… let me just take these thrashes out and check if everything is okay in the clinic. I meet you in the lounge.” Iwaizumi just nodded, beaten. He wanted to follow you but it would be suspecting in your eyes, wouldn’t it? He smiled tiredly at you from the door before shutting it.

Chills went down your spine, _he saw through me immediately!_

Your heart was beating fast. _I need to calm down_ , you thought as you stepped outside with the thrash bag. The bag rustled quietly at the rate of your steps and trembling hands. During the surgery, you had gotten a stupid and desperate idea how you could tip the scales in favor of getting Daichi back... but there had to be a better way. A _cleaner_ way. 

_I must not rush_ , you reminded yourself again. There was too much at stake. You needed to see how things were processing with the Elites before making any decisions on your own. 

  
  


-

 

The Elites hardly touched their food during the supper. They wanted to act but without any leads nothing could be done. They tried to come up with something. Anything. They were waiting for an inspiration to appear like a sudden shooting star. Kenma and Tsukishima were constantly looking for Daichi with the information they already knew: the car which the enemy had used. It had been a black pickup truck but the Blood Brothers almost always changed their cars at some point, plus there was a lot of black pickup trucks in the area. They were checking every car one by one after finding while monitoring the secure cameras. The process was slow and wasn’t giving them much information, but it was everything that was left to do. The other leads had reached dead ends.

After the supper, the Elites moved to the lounge. They gathered all the information they knew and started to go through them all over again. Had they missed something? Was there something major still hidden behind them? 

You observed them from the side; they looked devastated and were clearly still in shock. Pale. Exhausted. 

_Scared._

They couldn’t handle their emotions. After some arguing Kuroo and Oikawa were almost at each other’s throats. Iwaizumi and Akaashi separated them before things got bloody. You hadn’t ever seen them so outraged.

“Stop that arguing! We need to stick together!!” 

“Fuck with this sticking together!!” Kuroo roared back at them. “Why didn’t Daichi stick together with us back in Yuquin?! We could have been spared from this zoo if we would have followed the fucking plan!!” 

“What the fuck was that?!” Oikawa shouted. 

_Angry._

“He had to stay behind to give us room to retreat!” Iwaizumi shouted back at him, while holding Oikawa down. The rage made him forget the pain in his knee, but fortunately Iwaizumi was aware of it. 

“That was an unneeded sacrifice! We could have retreat together!!” Kuroo shouted while Bokuto supported him. 

_Broken._

“STOP THIS!” Sugawara cried out of frustration. “Daichi did what was needed to get everyone to safety and you **will not** put blame on him for that!! The plan didn’t work out..! He… He **had to** do it! For his team!!” Sugawara’s voice was hoarse. It seemed that he had tears in his eyes. He was in pain. 

Kuroo and Oikawa gritted their teeth before slumping back on their seats. Half of the men buried their heads in their hands. After calming down they started the planning again. Where would the enemy go with Daichi? What was their goal? How did the enemy benefit from having their captain?

The situation was getting overwhelming, and every minute made it worse. The more time passed, the thinner changes you had to find Daichi. It hurt to watch them struggle and be able to do nothing. You didn’t want to see them so weak and broken. It was horrible to see them get aggressive towards each other. This wasn’t a brand-new thing to you but it made you feel ill. Ill memories flooded to your mind. Whispers. 

Quietly, you went outside to get air. You tried to proceed what they had said about Daichi. About the ambush. About him staying behind for them.

_An unneeded sacrifice, huh?_

You rubbed your neck and sighed. The breath came out as a faint steam out of your mouth and danced up with calm breeze. You felt chills and wondered if evenings had always been this cold. You watched the first stars appear while reliving the current day.

_“I know you know what’s the best for them.”_

Maybe you did.

  


* * *

  


The room you entered was small but well lit. The walls were painted dull light gray while the floor was darker. There were no windows, and only two plain but heavy looking doors in and out of the room. _So… this is the prison of the Crow’s Nest_ , you wondered as you made your made towards a lonely desk in the middle of the room. Sugawara had mentioned about the prison the day you had arrived the base but you had never visited it. 

A man behind the desk stood up when he noticed you. He was rather short, had a black buzz cut and his nametag read ‘Watari’. 

“What is your purpose?” 

He seemed to doubt you. 

Well, it was quite accurate feeling to have since you didn’t really look like you were supposed to be there. You wore casual clothes: gray collage pants, a black hoodie over a white tank top. You lifted a first aid kit on the desk and opened it for a routine check. 

_If this man has heard about me, he surely doesn’t show it_ , you thought. Nothing in the man implied that he knew what you had done. Yes, he was cautious, but not alerted enough. 

“I’m here to check on the Blood Brother who arrived here today. I need to give him the antibiotics and make sure his wound is clean. The blood results showed that there’s still bacteria left in his body. A new inflammation might inflict a blood poisoning.”

Watari gazed at you while squinting his eyes. 

“I wasn’t told about your coming. I’m not allowed to let anyone meet the convict without Commander’s consent”, he muttered as he checked the kit.

You sighed, _the commander again_ … 

“Of course not you knew about my coming since Dr. Takeda and I got the results just a while ago.” Watari reacted to the doctor’s name; Takeda was the head of the medical treatment in the base after all. Watari seemed to get a bit worried so you put some pressure on him, “You know that untreated inflammation may cause some severe problems later… But well, rules are rules and I can’t help it! Let’s hope he’s still alive in the morning when Dr. Takeda checks on him!” 

You shut the first aid kit and turned to leave. 

Watari panicked, “W-wait!”

_Oho?_ , you thought a bit slyly and stopped. You glanced at him as if you were surprised. 

“I will let you in… I give you 15 minutes, okay? If you go over it, I will report you to Commander.” Watari stared seriously at you. 

You blinked a couple of times and nodded. “Okay. I will be out under 15 minutes.” 

A weird ticklish feeling crossed your chests. A familiar but distant feeling. You didn’t have time to start to analyze it since Watari was already opening the door to the cells. _I must focus_ , you reminded yourself, _this is all far from over_. 

You reached the convict’s cell and Watari opened the door for you. Before stepping in you turned at him, “Um… he is pretty sensitive individual so he might scream. He screamed quite a bit when I treated him last time too. Just you know!”

Watari nodded anxiously before stepping back as you stepped in the cell.

“Thank you!” 

The door clicked locked behind you and soon you could hear muffled footsteps fade away. The prison room had the same dull light gray color. There were no windows, and only door to outside was locked behind you. There was only one light in the middle of the room, a table and two chairs. It was an interrogation room; the convict would be heard once more before he would be sent to a cell with a bed. The interrogator had tried to take advantage of the convict’s confusion (caused by anesthesia), but the search still stood. He hadn’t shared anything new information.

Since it was quite late already, the next interrogation would be quite soon. You needed to hurry.

The convict was handcuffed to the solid table, he was still sleeping the anesthetics off and didn’t notice your coming. When you pulled a chair loudly and sat down to the other side of the table, he finally started to wake up.

He turned pale when he recognized you, “A-a-aaa….w-w-why are…” He pinched himself like this would be just a bad dream, but oh boy; his nightmares were only starting.

You smiled sweetly.

“ ’Why?’ you ask. You know exactly why I’m here. I gave you a chance to talk and well… you didn’t. We still can’t find our dear captain, and that’s bad thing for you.” The smile vanished from your lips and soon your face was emotionless which made you look cold. Brutal. There was venom in every glare you gave to the man in front of you. “If I would be you, I would try to save myself.”

“U a-are j-j-just bluf-bluffing! U a-are the o-one they w-will punish!”

You chortled once, “Well of course. But they won’t be able to stop me, since they don’t know I’m here after all. Lucky for me the night is only starting.” 

The man straightened on his chair and dared to glare at you little. 

You tilted your head slightly while a mocking smile appeared on your lips. “I see.”

You dig your pocked and placed a clothing and your old tape voice recorder on the table side by side. Without hesitating you opened the clothing and revealed… a slightly tanned colored finger. It was dried little but it was recognizable finger.

The Blood Brother retched horrified and tried to get further away from the finger but the handcuffs stopped him. As the convict turned paler you leaned at him, “Do you still remember what I promised to do to you with this filthy finger if you didn’t cooperate with us?”

The man froze as you lifted your first aid kit on the table and took fresh pair of rubber gloves and put them on. His head started to make small shaking movement as his lips formed words you couldn’t hear. Your expression didn’t relent at all. 

_Who is bluffing now, bastard?_

You clicked the recorder on. It started to buzz as the tape inside it started to roll, “Well then..." You took a pair of medical gloves and started to put them on. "Let's recall a couple things.” 

Your sharp (e/c) eyes locked with the Blood Brother’s and soon he screamed like a pig before slaughtering. 

Watari heard the scream echo in the hallway and felt chills run up and down his spine, _12 minutes left, 12 minutes left…_.

-

“I thought you had your eyes on her!! There was six of you!!” Ukai roared apoplectically as he dashed towards the prison. The Elites followed him confused and horrified; they hadn’t noticed your leaving and when they finally had, you were nowhere to be found. Iwaizumi had been first one to react. Tsukishima had checked the surveillance cameras and found you. The commander had been informed immediately. There were no cameras in cells… but maybe they didn’t even want to know what was happening inside one of them. 

Watari jumped up when the commander suddenly appeared in front of him with his own bodyguards, Takinoue Yusuke and Shimada Makoto, and the Elites right on his heels.

“Do NOT tell me she is still here!!” 

Watari shook from fear before nodding weakly, “S-s-she has been here for 10 minutes , sir!!”

“FUCK DAMN IT!! Open the doors!!” 

When they reached the door of the convict’s cell, they could hear only mumbled talking. When the door opened you were just at the door about to leave. What a horrible surprise it was for you to meet the commander himself right at the door. His face was red and veins were visible on his temple. 

Something twisted inside you, _he wouldn't kill me, would he?_

The convict had his cheek against the table and he was crying, muttering things alone. On the table… there was a finger. Takinoue grabbed your collar and yanked you out of the cell but you squirmed free from his grip. Soon Shimada was also at you. Before they managed to seize you, you threw the tape recorder to Kuroo. 

“They changed the car in a city to the south of Yuquin, the change car is either a red off-road vehicle or a small black jeep!! The license numbers are in the tape! They have supporters in the city and the enemy will head towards Boota after midnight!!” Everyone stared at you shocked. Takinoue and Shimada pressed you against the floor to quiet you down but you didn’t. “Everything is on the tape! Names, addresses, their plans! HURRY!!” 

Kuroo’s mind was blank and he could only stare at you. What was happening? Why had you threw it to him?

“You are not allowed to take that tape with you! It is an evidence from her actions against my orders!” Ukai shouted devastated. He was furious. Ukai offered his hand towards Kuroo, “Give me the tape, Kuroo. Now!” 

Kuroo glanced at the commander startled before turning his golden orbs at you again. Your (e/c) eyes were glistening, you were serious. The solution was in his hands.

They could save Sawamura.

“Kuroo! NOW! It’s an order!!” Ukai demanded.

Kuroo’s grip tightened and he took a step back. His eyes were locked on to your desperate ones, “If we depart immediately we might reach the enemy before they move Daichi again!” You breathed out relief and Kuroo nodded. “We must hurry. We need to go right now!” He glanced at his comrades and took a couple of careful steps backwards before dashing away from the prison. Bokuto glanced at you in awe before nodding and following his friend.

“STOP! I order you to stop!!” Ukai tried in vain. Soon Akaashi, Oikawa and Iwaizumi were going after them too. They weren’t listening. Only Sugawara remained; he watched you frightened as they put handcuffs on you and forced you to stand up. You grimaced in pain. It hurt Sugawara to look at you, you had went too far. A way too far! 

_But why..?_

But when Ukai tried to run after the Elites, Sugawara stopped him. Without thinking he put his arm on the commander’s way. He looked in Ukai’s confused eyes and half-whispered, “I’m truly sorry but… we really need him to come back home. I’m sorry.” 

Sugawara glanced at you one more time before dashing after his team. 

Ukai stood there dumbfounded. Even the vice-captain of the most trained soldiers of the base had disobeyed his orders. It would be too late to try to stop them now.

Ukai was trembling from anger when he turned to look at you. Veins had popped up on his temple and neck. He looked like a monster. “Do you have anything smart to say now?” You gulped as chills ran down your spine. No mistakes now. Not even tiny ones. “Hm? Well??”

“N-no, sir.” 

Ukai stared at you for a moment before nodding. “Good. That’s good.” Ukai waved at the prison keeper, Watari back to him. “Prepare a cell of solitary confinement for (Surname). She will be staying there for a while.”

-

As the cell’s door clicked shut and Watari left you alone, you found yourself feeling rather… pleased. It had been so long time you had planned and schemed this much. At the clinic, you had hidden the amputated finger in your fist when Takeda had spoken to Ukai, and after removing the gloves the finger had stayed in the glove. You just needed to pick up it from the thrash when nobody was watching.

Being able to do this much felt somehow relieving. At least for now. When you laid down on the hard bed and closed your eyes you could feel a weird excitement welling inside you. 

It was… ticklish. You had felt it a bit earlier.

_Excitement._

_I had already forgot this feeling…_ You sighed, it felt like it was easier to breath. This is what you had done for so many years. This is what you had been trained to do. It felt like you were finally functioning normally.

It felt good.

  


* * *

  


On your third day in the prison, Oikawa surprised you with a visit. You were just having a daily ‘prison workout’ when he brought you a meal instead of Watari. In the solitary confinement, you were supposed to be isolated from human contact, the exception of the prison staff. Usually Watari brought you the meals but no words were ever changed. You never even tried; you knew the rules.

“Hello (Name)-chan!” Oikawa sang as he stepped in the cell while Watari held the door for him. You wiped sweat from your forehead confused. “I brought your meal ~. What an interesting cell you have!” 

The solitary confinement cell wasn’t the worst cell you had seen. It was clean and modern: you had a bed, a table and a chair, but the luxury was that a toilet was situated behind an extra wall for privacy. Not that you wouldn’t have any privacy already. Three solid walls and one wall of bars and an always-locked door with bars. Only noise you ever heard was when somebody opened the main door at the end of the hallway, and that happened only when you got your meal.

“What are you doing here, Oikawa?” You felt irritated, _what is he up to?_ Oikawa put a tray on the table and sat on your bed casually. “You aren’t supposed to be here. I’m not supposed to meet anyone.” You turned to ask explanation from Watari, but the smaller man had already left.

“Watari was my underling some time ago! He won’t tell anyone ~ he likes me too much!“ Oikawa showed a trophy with his fingers and stuck out his tongue while smiling, one eye closed. His trademark expression. It irritated you even more. Before you could start nagging Oikawa turned little more serious, “Don’t be so upset! I missed you (Name)-chan… Since we haven’t heard anything about you for three days, I decided to check that you really are okay!” 

A hint of worry in Oikawa voice forced you to calm down a bit. He didn’t mean harm to you.

You sat down on the chair, _well I haven’t heard about them either_. Oikawa was still careful with his knee, you noticed. “Is your knee alright?” you asked as you started to eat. Oikawa blinked a couple of times before putting his hand on the knee and gave it a rub. 

“Aww… you don’t need to worry about me (Name)-chan! It hurts sometimes but it is getting better.”

You glared at him, “If it hurts it’s not fully healed, idiot. Warm up well before exercising and flex it whenever it’s possible. If the pain is unbearable put some ice on it - - ” Oikawa sighed and smiled to you, _I came here to worry about you, silly girl_. You furrowed when you saw him smiling. “ - -and use the damn knee brace they have given to you! You wouldn’t had sprained your knee again in the first place if you idiot would had just used it.”

Oikawa got shocked, “How did (Name)-chan know that I have a knee brace!?” 

“That’s obviously an old injury. They probably gave it to you when you sprained the knee for the first time.”

Oikawa stared at you in awe, she figured it out with one glance. He felt chills as he thought how sharp your eyes were. Not just your eyes though - you were sharp. The way you had plotted to get all that information out of the convict was admirable. It was almost terrifying.

“Did Ukai punish you?” It had troubled you; they had ignored Ukai’s orders because of you after all. 

Oikawa laughed little, “Haha yeah he did! He wakes the barracks up an hour earlier to stand outside for 75 minutes despite the weather… oh, and he cut our free time to half. Commander says all that is ‘ _for rebuilding his authority in the base._ ’” Oikawa laughed again. You fell silent, _they really got punishments because of me…_

“How about… How’s Mashur?” You asked without making eye contact with Oikawa. 

“Mashur is doing fine. Iwa-chan is taking good care of him. We keep your room’s door open so he can join our company at any time…” Oikawa sighed little, “…so far, he has remained in your room. He comes out only if Iwa-chan orders him to. I think he misses you too.” 

Hearing that Mashur missed you made you feel sweet pain; it warmed your heart but he was suffering because you weren’t there for him. 

“I see…” 

Oikawa observed you a while before sighing, annoyed, “(Name)-chan, are you really not going to ask about him? He’s the reason you are here after all!”

_Daichi…_

After Ukai had locked you in the cell, you hadn’t gotten any information how the mission of rescuing Daichi had went. You didn’t know if he had been hurt… or if the Elites had even succeeded, if somebody had injured or if something worse had happened. But the captain clearly wasn’t dead since Oikawa wasn’t weeping. That was enough information for you. It was more than enough…

“I have reasons to believe he’s alive and I don’t need to know more.” You turned to face Oikawa, the man flinched little when he saw severity in your eyes. You were angry. “But, Sawamura isn’t the reason I am here. This is outcome of my own actions, do you understand?”

_I’m not going to mix any of you with this mess._

Oikawa nodded unwillingly as he gulped. Your gaze eased up as you sighed. You walked to the door and knocked the bars. Oikawa jumped up, “W-what are you doing, (Name)-chan?” 

Soon Watari appeared to the door. You nodded at him and turned around to face Oikawa again, “You are not allowed to be in here even if your friend let you in. It is against the rules and against my punishment. I’m asking you to leave.” You kept a stern face but you felt dead inside. 

Oikawa watched you in disbelief as Watari opened the cell’s door and you stepped away. Watari stared at Oikawa in serious and concerned manner. It was time to go.

As the cell’s door clicked shut Oikawa gripped the bars and turned to you again, “Why do you do this?” _Why did you even do this to yourself?_

“I will not let any of you get in more trouble because of me. I won’t allow it.” You turned to Watari, the expression on your face was tired but gentle, “Please don’t let them in anymore. You should concentrate on your own performance too. Follow the rules the commander gave you.” 

Watari bit his lips sealed and nodded before taking Oikawa away.

  


* * *

  


On the evening of the fifth day, you were laying on the bed your back towards the door. You felt exhausted but knew that you wouldn’t fall asleep anytime soon. It wasn’t that you were depressed or lonely. It was quite relaxing to just… be. It was Mashur what troubled you. You missed your companion badly. It was hard to sleep knowing he wasn’t in the same room. 

Restlessness. 

You heard the door to open somewhere in the hallway. It was time for the supper. Or was it the time for a lunch? Once you had woken up and waited for your breakfast and you had gotten your dinner next. Well which ever meal it was, you weren’t feeling hungry. You didn’t feel like doing anything right now. Not even eating. You hadn’t touched your breakfast either.

Steps were getting louder and soon they stopped at your cell’s bar door. The familiar keys tinkled and the door opened. Only then you realized that there was two people. As the door shut you could hear Watari’s short steps get further away while sturdy steps closed you slowly. A trey knocked against the table behind you, and somebody sat down on the chair. 

You got irritated again, _I told them to stay away_. 

“I’m quite sure I told you guys to stay away from me.”

You heard a chuckle. Chills. Your eyes widened as the man behind you talked in deep voice, “Wow, what a way to welcome me back!” 

You shot up to see him. Shock. 

“C-captain!”

Daichi laughed at your reaction. His laugh was so warm. Familiar. You remembered his smile from the morning he had been captured. It was really him. 

_Daichi._

His face was bruised and there was a small cut on his nose. He had a white cast on his left hand. Though the fabrics hid the most of his injuries you could tell he had been abused; it seemed that his stomach was tender, maybe from kicks or beating. Blood Brothers were known to be hostile to their prisoners.

Daichi noticed immediately that you were observing his injuries. He sighed a smile on his face, “I got a quite a beating but I’m alright. I stayed at the clinic as long as Takeda requested me to stay. The x-rays showed that there were no majorly broken bones so he allowed me to leave this morning.”

You glared at the black-haired man suspiciously before relenting a little. You sighed and allowed yourself to relax, “At least you listen to the doctors... unlike some others.” Oikawa’s over-sweet, annoying smile flashed in your mind. Your upper lip twitched in resentment. 

“Pfhah… Oikawa visited you, didn’t he?” Daichi laughed. 

At first you felt shocked he knew about it but then you remembered that Watari was Oikawa’s old teammate. Daichi knew that surely too. It wasn’t hard to figure out that Oikawa was the only one who could visit you, was it? It was Oikawa after all. You just nodded troubled as you rubbed your neck.

“Two days ago…probably. Maybe three.” You felt troubled again. Daichi sneered in amused manner again. “I told him not to come here again. I told none of them to come here.” 

Daichi’s amusement dried away when he saw your (e/c) eyes dim. You were deep in your thoughts - it seemed that you were looking through the floor. Tired. Maybe even sad. 

The captain sighed and leaned at you, forcing you to look at him. He had a reassuring smile on his face. Like there was nothing to worry about. Like everything was going to be okay. It felt wrong. 

“Don’t worry (Name)… I will get you out of here.” 

You furrowed and broke the eye contact. Though he meant good with his words you refused to believe them. You were in the prison. In a cell of solitary confinement, which usually meant that the prisoner would stay there until his or her wits break, and for you it meant quite a long time. You wouldn’t leave your cell anytime soon. Silence filled the room. When it was sure that you wouldn’t speak Daichi smiled and spoke again.

“You know… when Kuroo and others told me what you had done to get the information about my whereabouts, I thought ‘ _Wait… Who are they talking about? That can’t be (Name), she would never overrun the bounds that are given to her._ ’ Honestly, I was shocked.” 

You glanced at Daichi without making a direct eye contact. The fact Daichi had thought that way of you didn’t really surprise you – you always followed the orders. The orders were something that made sense of this world… told apart the good and the bad… gave borders. Following the rules ensured that you wouldn’t face unnecessary problems. 

You already knew where Daichi was heading with this conversation. You sighed, troubled, before he could even continue. It amused him but he decided to hide it this time, “Just… what were you thinking? Tell me what was on your mind that day.”

The question annoyed you because you didn’t know the answer. What were you thinking back then? You moved around on the bed; you felt uncomfortable. 

“ I just… I don’t know. Just…” It felt like you couldn’t turn your thoughts into words. You were thinking too many things at the same time. Where could you start? Still Daichi waited patiently, and nodded to encourage you. “At first… at first I thought there was nothing to be done. Nobody thought there was… but when the convict brought up the rules, I realized that I could at least try. Something. I could try to persuade him. W-well it got out of hand rather quickly… but I knew I could get away with it if I just played dumb enough…” You bit your lips together and grimaced. Frustrated. “I really thought he would tell them everything.” 

“But he didn’t”, Daichi said while leaning his folded hands. Something in him had turned serious though he still felt somewhat gentle. Understanding. Caring. “Did you decide immediately that you would use force to make him to speak?” 

“No.” The severity in your voice proved that you weren’t lying. Just as Daichi was about to sigh relieved you continued, “… but I couldn’t start thinking that was all I could do.”

After hearing this Daichi sighed and tried to straighten up. His stomach objected this selection and Daichi felt penetrating pain in his stomach. The pain forced him to stop for a moment before allowing him to continue the movement slowly. When his back touched the chair’s back rest he relaxed little. You looked him troubled, _he should have stay at the barracks and rest_. 

Daichi smiled through pain as he rubbed his stomach gently. You turned your gaze away again. 

“I heard everybody were pretty desperate… Did it have an influence on you by anyway?” 

_Where does he pull these questions?_ , you thought as memories flooded in your mind. The Elites had looked so devastated. You remembered how they had turned against each other. Shouting. Arguing. They were supposed to be allies. They had been so lost.

“… they didn’t know what to do.”

“But you did?”

You hesitated. 

“They said… you stayed behind to keep the enemy busy and got caught in the process. You sacrificed yourself so they could retreat.” Your (e/c) eyes met Daichi’s brow ones. This time Daichi couldn’t maintain the eye contact with you. He gulped and turned his gaze away, there was a sad smile on his face. “I… when they said that… only then I knew what to do. There was a solution. After that I couldn’t care less anymore.” 

Daichi’s eyes widened and he looked at you somewhat terrified. But you looked determined; those were your choices. Yours alone. _I’m nothing compared to a captain, it needed to be done_.

“I did what I did and I will endure my punishment gladly. I deserve this.” There was a hint of bitterness in your voice. _So please don’t try to save me anymore_. You turned you back at Daichi and laid down on your bed again. You were exhausted. “So let this be. I will never get out of here if you guys keep barging in all the while.” 

So exhausted.

The cell fell silent. Only your and Daichi’s quiet breathing were hearable. Air around you felt heavy. 

_Please leave._

“Did I deserve my rescue?” Daichi’s voice shattered the silence. The question made chills go down your spine. There was a hint of anger in him. “Did I deserve to come home? The ways that were used to get me back here were false. They were ill. I got home because the most important rules of the base were broken and still they joyed my return… they celebrated that I came back safe and sound. They joyed while the real hero was locked in a cell, alone.” 

You glanced at him over your shoulder, Daichi looked so betrayed. Hurt. Angry. _Why do you look so sad, Daichi?_ , you thought while biting your lip. Your chin tried to tremble so you had to force it stay still. Daichi’s words confused you. He called you a hero… while voices in your mind were telling otherwise. Nobody. Traitor. Criminal. Failure.

_Hero._

Could it really be like that? 

_I’m no hero._

Daichi saw you had hard time to believe his words. It was expected. Though you did never talk about yourself, he knew what kind of person you were; you took the blame without caring. You didn’t defend yourself. Maybe you didn’t know how to do it or maybe you thought nobody would ever listen to you anyway. Maybe you had always been like that. 

You accepted your fate without reasoning again. Daichi didn’t want it to happen again. Not after what you had done for him. 

“(Name). It’s my turn to save you.” He said, determined. He said the words you were afraid to hear him say.

“…I have caused enough trouble already”, you said tiredly. Your voice drained into a whisper, “Just let me be.”

It didn’t help. Sawamura Daichi had already made up his mind.

“Yeah… and so have I, and it’s my job as the captain of Crow’s Nest to clean this mess. Not Ukai’s, nor anybody else’s. Mine.” Daichi stood up, forcing his abs to stretch. He grunted in pain. But he stood up. You turned around and watched him powerlessly from your bed, why are you doing this? You were just a soldier among other soldiers. Nothing to be compared to a great captain like him. You didn’t deserve this kind of kindness. 

Daichi walked to the door knocked the bars a couple of times before turning to you. 

“I will visit you again soon, okay?” 

“Please don’t”, you whispered.

“I will.”

As Watari walked to the door and started to open the door, Daichi nodded at the tray he had brought to you. “Your supper, eat all of it. It’s an order.” He smiled again, making you feel flustered as warmness spread in your chest. The feeling annoyed you. Why did it make you feel better? It was not okay.

Daichi stepped out of the cell but before following Watari he turned to you again. It seemed like he wanted to say something. But he didn’t. Daichi just looked at you before smiling. Then he just walked away. 

It felt weird. Awkward even. You heart fluttered, confused. When you heard the door in the hallway click locked you glanced at your meal. The appetite hadn’t returned… but he had ordered you. 

_He even said to visit me again_ … But when?

You felt annoyed. 

You got up and started to eat the supper. Daichi could come back within an hour or in the morning. The either way the plate must be empty when he comes. He had ordered you after all. Orders were only thing that made sense…

…and Daichi’s orders mattered to you the most.

  


-

  


“Daichi! It’s great to see you in better shape!” Ukai laughed as he got up from his bench to welcome the captain back. They shook hands, “Did you get the flowers I sent you?”

Daichi had to laugh, “Yeah I got them. Thank you for them. It’s truly good to be back, sir!” Ukai laughed again and lifted a chair for Daichi to the front of his desk before sitting back to his chair. As Daichi sat down Ukai picked up a bottle of cognac and two glasses. Before he could pour it Daichi continued, “Though we both know who we can thank for this…” 

Ukai stopped and even his smile froze. Slowly he placed the cognac bottle on the desk while licking his lips. He knew how delicious it would have tasted… but now the topic had turned sour. The cognac had probably turned sour with it. He sighed, exhausted, before facing Daichi. 

“Daichi… why are you exactly here?” 

“Sir, I beg you to drop all the charges against (Surname).” 

Ukai stared at the man in front of him. He prayed that Daichi wasn’t serious. The captain’s eyes glistered in determination, his expression was serious. _Shit… he has that look on his face_. Ukai rubbed his eyes with his forefinger and thumb, uneasy. 

“Look, it’s truly great that you are back but that I cannot do.” Daichi lifted his chin slightly after hearing this. _He was expecting me to answer this way_ , Ukai thought troubled. He knew Daichi. “Private (Surname) disobeyed and misused the highest rules in the Crow’s Nest and I can’t let that slip. We will avoid further damage with this.” 

Daichi didn’t step down, “How many know about this?”

Ukai sighed again and lit up a cigarette. His nerves were getting him, “This isn’t really a bragging matter… only the Elites and my men and those who they have leaded the information know. Oh, and the convict probably hadn’t forgotten it. He is still looking for his fingers…”

“Then there isn’t really anyone out of our control who would know. We can silence them”, Daichi said. The twinkling of his determination in his eyes was staring to hurt Ukai’s eyes. 

“Daichi, please don’t start arguing with me! This is already tearing me apart! I know my gramps will hang me for this if he learns about this mess and - -”

“Bury this matter and you don’t need to face Sir Commander!” Daichi spoke over the commander. It wasn’t bad since they knew each other well, but it still wasn’t acceptable. “Keishin, you know there are holes in the rules! She noticed and used them brilliantly!”

“Don’t test me Daichi!”

“The rules can be understood wrong! You know it too, but you are too proud to admit it since your grandfather found those rules with other commanders.” Ukai gulped, Daichi had seen right through him. But the captain wasn’t done yet, “She punished the convict for mistreating his role as a guest of the base, Dr. Takeda wrote that the fingers amputation was needed in chance of blood poisoning and (Surname) is _not a man_ of the Elites!”

“Neither will she if it is up to me!” Ukai shouted as he stood up from his chair.

Daichi followed his lead. Pain hit him hard, but he rose up to face his commander, “Please give her a chance! She has come so far! Do you think she would had gone this far a month ago for us? Would she have ever disobeyed?” 

Ukai started to walk around his room stressed. Daichi got a point but it was risky. Your actions could be understood many different ways and he couldn’t forget that. 

Ukai sighed, “You are defending her just because she saved you. As a captain, you shouldn’t let emotions get mixed with your work…” 

Hearing this hurt Daichi. Ukai was right. Letting emotions control can lead to grave happenings… to hopeless actions. Daichi knew it well.

The captain’s silence felt hopeful to Ukai – he might drop the subject and move on. Daichi was staring at the floor. For a moment, Ukai felt compassion for his comrade but then Daichi faced him again. His brown eyes glittered determined. 

“It’s true that I don’t know much about her… but I have learned that (Name) isn’t a person who disobeys her authority easily. Rules are like a lifeline for her, and still she went against them. For us.” Daichi put weight on the last words. Daichi knew you hadn’t broke the rules just for him. _“They… they didn’t know what to do”_ , Daichi remembered your words. 

Ukai grunted stressed as he sat back down – Daichi wasn’t giving up. The commander lit up another tobacco, he felt weak. He felt like he was losing the debate… _Why must he stay so freaking determined!_

“Just let her continue, sir. She has started to open up to us... every day she reveals more about herself. (Name) is really… changing. Please, sir.”

Ukai sighed and lookedat Daichi serious. As a commander, he couldn’t do hasty decisions. He had the reputation of the base on his shoulder. “Letting her slip may give her an idea she can slip again.”

“Or you would finally win her trust with it.” 

“…” 

Ukai got swallowed by his own thoughts. He started to really think about Daichi’s suggestion… they could silence everyone if they acted quickly. His grandfather, the former commander of the Crow’s Nest, wouldn’t need to know about this accident. The only problem was the convict himself… he was about to be moved to the capital for interrogations and permanent imprisonment. If he spoke how he had been treated here and you wouldn’t have been punished for it... it would be fiasco. “I will not promise you anything. I have to put the base’s reputation in front of one soldier.”

Daichi sighed and nodded, “At least you will think about it.” Ukai seemed to have a lot of things on his mind so Daichi decided to leave him alone. At the door, he still stopped. There was still something he needed to say. 

“You know… I met (Name) before coming here, and she said she deserved this. That she was fine with this.” 

Just when Ukai was about to stand up and rant about how Daichi or anybody else weren’t allowed to meet you, Daichi continued without making eye contact. His back was still at the commander’s desk but his voice was strong. Ukai could hear frustration in the voice. 

“You welcomed me back with cognac and flowers, but I wouldn’t be here if she hadn’t broken those rules, Keishin! My men would have never found me without her effort. So… did I even deserve to be back?” 

Daichi turned to Ukai making the commander flinch. Daichi seemed angry. Hurt. It was really rare for the captain show Ukai these emotions. Ukai gulped. “Sir, you can throw your anger and frustration at me if you want. You can write to my resume that I’m lousy and weak hearted person and the worst captain in Arylean, but just this one time. Let her go.”

The room turned silent. Air was already foggy because of the tobacco Ukai was smoking but now the air was truly heavy. Without saying another word Daichi turned around and left the room. Ukai couldn’t say anything. When the door clicked shut Ukai blew smoke from his mouth and extinguished the half-smoked tobacco on the ashtray. 

For the first time in long time he felt like the smoke was really suffocating him.

  


* * *

  


It had been late, when you had heard the door open and Daichi’s voice in the hallway. He had told Watari to go to sleep. He had stopped before your cell and peeked at your cell. He had laughed to your unimpressed expression before grinning playfully.

When he stepped in front of your cell, Mashur had followed him in a leach. Your eyes had widened and you had lunged to the bars, Mashur had lost his mind when he had noticed you. He had cried and made really high noises as he had rubbed himself against the bars for your touch. He had barked and rolled over, showing you his belly, he had licked your hands and face….

You had hugged your canine through the bars while shushing the canine from barking. Daichi had laughed and adored the long-waited meeting. You had kissed your dog’s snout a small smile on your lips. Daichi had felt his heart miss a beat when he saw it. You hadn’t seen his blushing because you had been too excited about Mashur.

In that moment Daichi had decided to bring Mashur with him whenever he visited you… and he visited you a lot: during the morning run, before and after the meals, during the free time… it had started to feel he was always there. Ukai had told him to stay away but when Daichi hadn’t listened to him the commander had given up. Though you had told him not to come over and over again, he always showed up. 

He wasn’t going to abandon you.

  


-

  


After you had been a week in the cell, Daichi and Takinoue appeared in front of your cell. You had been training, doing pushups when you had heard the hallway’s door open. Watari opened the door but nobody stepped in. 

You looked at them in asking manner, “What is happening?” 

Takinoue glanced at Daichi and nodded. Your captain turned to you, “Commander Ukai wants to meet you personally. It seems he has concluded your case.” Takinoue waved you to follow him. No handcuffs… no hostile acting. You glanced at Daichi anxiously but the captain just smiled and encouraged you to follow Takinoue. 

When you reached the commander’s room Daichi remained with you. Your file was on the desk with some random paper. Ukai was smoking again, tobaccos smell made your nose sting unpleasantly. The window was open to fresh the air but it didn’t seem to help. The air was foggy. It was weird to look out of a window… it’s been a week you were outside last time. Ukai cleared his throat and turned to you.

“Welcome to the surface (Surname). How do you feel?” 

The question confused you, Ukai was the one who sent you down there and now he was asking how you felt? You glanced outside from the open window again. Wind whiffed in moving the curtains in progress, cool air filled the room and made the smoke dance. Some birds were singing in the distance. 

“Rather calm, sir.” There was no reason to give him a proper answer. You didn’t even know how you actually felt. Normal? Confused? 

Ukai chuckled little, “It seems the prison didn’t upset your mind too much.” He looked at you a great while. It troubled you, were you supposed to answer him? After thinking a while you decided not to. The commander didn’t ask you anything so there was no real reason to answer either. When you didn’t say anything Ukai glanced at Daichi before leaning back on his chair. “Well… I called you here to announce your accusations and how we proceed from now on. Do you want Sawamura leave the room?”

You glanced at your captain who just smiled at you. You turned back at Ukai, “I don’t mind about his presence here, sir.” Daichi sighed relieved. 

Ukai took a moment before nodding. He turned his focus on the paper in front of him. 

“Well then, let’s start. (Surname) (Name), you are accused of concealing important information, abusing the orders your superior gave you, misusing and breaking the base’s laws by attacking the convict verbally, physically and mentally, and using false ways to get information. For these accusations, I put you in a solitary confinement cell for a week for starters. The objective of this treatment was to let you calm your mind.” Ukai sighed and looked at you again, “Does these happenings ring you any bell?”

You gulped before glancing at Daichi quickly, he seemed to be serious. You couldn’t deny anything… so you nodded, “Yes, sir. I recall everything.” 

Ukai squinted his eyes before talking again, “So you understand the severity behind your actions.”

“Yes, sir.” This was the first time you were admitting your actions. You couldn’t be sure if it was a good or a bad thing to do. Well… you didn’t care anymore - whatever Ukai had decided to do to you would be righteous. You sighed beaten, _whatever comes to me I will endure it._

Daichi watched you troubled. He turned to Ukai, “Sir, I think you have tortured her enough. Please give us your answer.” 

Ukai glanced at Daichi, annoyed, before turning back at you. He could see your fists trembling. He cleared his throat once again, “As the Commander of the Crow’s Nest I must secure my soldiers and the base’s safety and wellness. After hearing out your superiors and reading the documents I have come to a conclusion that you, (Surname) (Name), aren’t a threat for the base or its residents.”

At first you didn’t realize what Ukai had said. There was no oppressive silence before the big revelation like in shows like ‘Do you want to be a millionaire’, no stressing drumming, nothing. He just went and said it in one go. You lifted your chin to meet Ukai’s eyes, the expression on your face was confused. It took a while for you to be able to ask, 

“E-excuse me, sir?” 

Ukai sneered before putting the paper down, “It means, I will be dropping all the charges against you. You are free to continue your training for the title of the Elite if your captain and other Elites will allow it.”

Speechlessly, you turned at Daichi. He tried to hide his excitement horribly: he tried to bite his lips shut while the corners of his mouth tried to reach his ears. His smile was twitching. He lost the fight when he finally tried to answer, “I feel that nobody will object, sir.” 

He smiled the most brilliantly. You felt baffled, _is this really happening?_

“You were lucky (Surname)… I was really worried that the Blood Brother would refuse the cooperation of hiding this incident but it seems your threating worked on the convict rather well. He promised to stay quiet about this. He even assured me that he would bite his tongue off if somebody tried to force the answer out of him…” Ukai tore the paper in front of you. All the charges in that paper were ripped to piece, they didn’t exist anymore. “Everyone who knows about this is silenced so I expect you to stay silent about this too. Do not brag with this.”

You couldn’t find your words, “I… what? How… just… huuuuuh?” 

Ukai laughed, “Finally you have lost your tongue!”

 

  


-

  


 

After Ukai and Daichi had explained the situation to you again and again you actually started to believe it. You were free. Of course, you needed to stay silent about this and come up with a believable excuse why you hadn’t been attending the activities for a week. 

As you were heading towards the door with Daichi, Ukai stopped you. The commander walked to you and pointed at your hand.

“Open your hand.” 

It felt a weird request but you did what was told, though you felt little skeptical about it. He had a tobacco on his mouth. Were you his new ash tray? 

Ukai planted a small object on your palm. 

A matchstick. 

Just a normal matchstick. 

You looked up at him confused. 

“You may think that you have no big part in this war. That you are just a common soldier among the others. But I believe that every soldier has a chance to change this war and the world with it. A week ago, you almost blew up that chance of yours.” Ukai put weight on every word that left his lips. He sounded like a man with influence and pointed at the matchstick in your hand, “That will be a remainder for you. Repeat after me: _One match can make an explosion._ ”

“O-one match can make an explosion.” 

“Good. Remember that and stay out of trouble. That is my order to you. You have more influence than you think. Do not blow your chances away like that ever again.” His voice was severe but weirdly caring. Like he was wishing you to stay out of trouble for you and not for him and the base. 

You glanced the matchstick on your palm and gritted it inside your fist.

“Roger!”

  


-

  


The closer you moved the lounge the more troubled you got. You started to really realize that you were free. That you wouldn’t go back to that cell. It was absurd. Euphoric. Excitement was bubbling inside you. It felt like you would burst from it, or throw up. Your arms tingled, your legs tingled… it felt like you could finally do a triple backflip - you just didn’t dare to try it. There was so much energy in you. You wanted to run with Mashur as soon as possible.

Daichi chuckled as watched you, _it feels good to be back, doesn’t it?_

Your arrival took everybody by surprise. There were more people in the lounge than you had expected since the drivers Hanamaki and Matsukawa were there too. The first mentioned was just challenging Iwaizumi in arm-wrestling at the kitchen table while Matsukawa and Bokuto were rooting for them. Oikawa was watching them bored while sipping coffee as Kuroo threw snarky comments to the arm-wrestlers. Sugawara and Akaashi were in the middle of the chaos having their own conversations. 

Then you were suddenly there. 

Oikawa was the first one to notice you; his coffee went down the wrong pipe and he started coughing furiously. Iwaizumi got startled by this and when he turned to glance at his friend he noticed you standing on the entrance of the lounge. He froze. Hanamaki was desperately trying to pin Iwaizumi’s arm onto the surface of the table, but the arm hardly budged. 

Bokuto followed Iwaizumi’s gaze, and shouted, “(NAME)!?!” 

After that everyone were aware of your presence. Sugawara, Akaashi and Kuroo shot up from the couches and came to look. Iwaizumi breathed out without taking his eyes off you and pinned Hanamaki’s arm easily onto the surface. Matsukawa stayed to comfort his buddy while everyone moved just a bit closer to you. 

“G-good evening…” You hated how your voice wavered. You were actually pretty glad to be back. Only after hearing your voice everyone started to fuss around you.

“(Name)-chan!!” “Are you okay?!” “Whoaa you look so drained! Did you get your meal every day?” “(Surname)-san, are you tired? Should you sit down?” 

It was hard to follow their questions. Not completely new situation for you but you hadn’t been with so many people for seven days. The information flood was overwhelming. They got so close to you that you actually started to feel trapped all over again.

Daichi pushed his team away from you, “Okay now… please calm down and give her room.” 

Everyone stepped a couple of steps back. Everyone but Sugawara. When your (e/c) eyes met with his brown eyes you felt ashamed all again. You remembered the disbelief in his eyes at the prison right when you had been caught. He had had to face so much troubles because of you… and the situation had been rather bad already. 

But Sugawara didn’t look angry nor upset. He looked sad… and relieved. Happy. Everyone waited quietly as the vice-captain took a step towards you. 

“Hey… is… is everything okay?” He asked carefully, almost like avoiding scaring you. 

You swallowed hard before nodding, “I’m fine, t-thank you for asking…” You glanced at everyone before you bit your lips sealed. You humbled and bowed deep down in front of them. Your voice came out weaker than you were expecting, “I am sorry for the trouble that I have caused you. P-please forgive me.”

The Elites stared at you confused. Daichi opened the situation in low voice, “Ukai dropped all the charges against her and allowed her to continue training with us if we unanimously allow it.”  
Everyone stared their captain dumbfounded before turning to you again. Were you seriously thinking that they wouldn’t allow you to continue? 

“Of course we allow her to continue!!” Oikawa and Bokuto shouted in unison while others nodded. Everyone turned to Sugawara, “We will, right?” Their eyes were glittering. 

“H-how do you even dare to question me?!” Sugawara shouted in disbelief, “Of course she will continue!”

This cause loud cheering and soon everyone were at you again patting your back and forcing you to stand up straight. You felt like a mess, there was just too many emotions. You felt like running away again. Suddenly you felt a soft poke on your leg and when you turned to look, Mashur was standing there. He fawned happily and attacked you as you leaned down. He nuzzled against your legs and whined happily as you petted him. 

“He really missed you”, Iwaizumi said while others laughed. The fur ball they had tried to cheer up the whole week without succeeding turned immediately to… well, to very happy fur ball when you came back.

You pet the dog gently, his fur felt silky in your hands. His snout was moist, he smelled familiar. His brown eyes twinkled as he pushed you again with his head. “Hey, buddy…” you said softly. You had missed him so much. It was great to have him this close again. No bars between you. Nothing. You felt connected again. 

That was the first time other Elites noticed that little smile on your face. It melted their hearts. Some of them had to look away a moment… it felt like their hearts were bursting. Still soon they turned to see you again – your smile was a rare sight after all. 

You straightened up and sighed. Your whole body was tingling, yarning for action, for speed. Excitement. 

“I really… want to go for a run”, you sighed as you massaged ticklish feeling away from your arms. Mashur reacted to the word ‘run’ and galloped towards the out door. He turned to see if you were following his head tilted little to side.

“I think that meant ‘let’s go’!” Daichi laughed as he watched Mashur go. “Well… running would definitely do good!” You were already following the canine, and soon Daichi was following you.

“Are you sure you can, Daichi? Aren’t you still convalescent?” Sugawara asked him troubled as he walked after him. 

Daichi just laughed, 

“Remember to remind me of my stupidity if end up to be half-dead after this!” Daichi laughed. Bokuto, Iwaizumi and Oikawa punched the captain gently on his shoulder as they jogged past him,

“On it.” 

“Roger.”

“Copy that.”

Daichi stopped on his tracks and found himself speechless. His teammate’s chaffing never stopped to surprise him… and it had only got worse after he got caught. He really needed to start to rethink his words before saying anything out loud if he wanted the chaffing stop even little. Kuroo just smirked and patted Daichi on his shoulder while Akaashi just nodded him while passing by. 

Daichi watched his teammates move outside. Sugawara walked to Daichi’s side and patted his back, “I will remind you, I promise.” Daichi glared at him unimpressed. Suga just laughed at him and moved towards the door. 

You were already outside flexing to get ready.

When everyone was gathered and ready to go you shot into running. 

It felt so good. Easy. Free. The energy that had been building inside you was finally wearing out. Cold air on your skin. Wind in your hair. Mashur galloped in front of you, occasionally glancing at you and making sure you were still there. You took it as a challenge and picked up speed.

Your heart was pounding, your chest was hurting, your legs were getting heavier… it felt so liberating.

Bokuto and Kuroo were the ones that had kept up with you the whole run. They were really competing. 

“What’s…. up… with… tha… that speed…?” Bokuto said as he fought for air as he laid on his back on the gravel.

“I… I have… no clue…!” Kuroo answered as he leaned on his arms while facing the ground. Iwaizumi was next one to arrive, Akaashi and Sugawara right behind him. Oikawa’s knee had started to complain suddenly during the run so he had stayed behind with Daichi. When they finally arrived it was clear that Daichi was clearly regretting the run. Oikawa laughed at him horribly. 

“Why did… you guys… suddenly speed up?” Sugawara huffed as he watched Kuroo and Bokuto suffer on the gravel ground.

“It was… (Surname)… who sped up.” Iwaizumi corrected. 

Everyone turned to see you. You were huffing too but you were standing straight your back at them.

You were sweating just like the others but somehow… it wasn’t enough. Mashur came to you, his tongue was hanging long but when you asked, “Was that it?”, Mashur pulled his tongue back as his ears perked up. The canine took a couple of steps ahead and turned to look at you again. You felt excited. 

You turned to see the Elites, your eyes shined the same way your dog’s eyes. You wanted to go. It wasn’t enough for you. Kuroo and Bokuto gulped while Iwaizumi and others stared you in awe. 

“I think… I need another round…” There was no bigger emotion in your voice but your eyes said it all. 

Daichi waved at you, “Just go… as many times… as… as you dare…” He had hard time to breath. His ribs were failing him greatly. Daichi waved that he couldn’t go anymore. The pain was pulsating from his stomach everywhere on his body. Oikawa patted his back,

“Do you want me to remind you from your stupidity?” 

“Shut up… just… shut up…” 

You inhaled the lungs full of air. Oxygen in to your muscles, to your brains, to your heart… as you exhaled you leaned forward and dashed. Mashur ran next to you and barked a few times, he was excited too. Iwaizumi took a deep breath and ran after you. Kuroo and Bokuto glanced at each other confused before grinning and stumbling up.

“We are not done yet!!” They shouted as they ran after you and Iwaizumi. Akaashi sighed while Sugawara just lifted his shoulders and started running. Daichi and Oikawa stayed behind. 

Air felt cool on your sweaty, warm skin. Your muscles worked, your heart beat, your lungs fought for air… you felt so alive. 

So free.

  


****

*** * * * ***

_Meanwhile…_

Matsukawa and Hanamaki followed the happenings in silence. You had totally took the spot light, everyone were fussing over you… and then suddenly everyone had rushed outside and started running. Matsukawa and Hanamaki watched in silence as everyone ran somewhere.

_Just… what is happening here?_

“Hey…” Hanamaki started. He seemed pretty confused.

“Hm?”

“…what were they whispering about Ukai dropping some charges against (Surname)?” Hanamaki wondered. Usually this kind of things didn’t bother him but this time it really bothered him. “What charges? Didn’t Iwaizumi and Oikawa say that she was on a training camp?” 

Matsukawa just lifted is shoulders lazily, “Maybe it’s better if we just ignore it… like we never heard anything.” 

Hanamaki agreed. 

They sat in silence for a moment. 

“Hey…” Hanamaki said again, when you finally arrived back with Mashur. 

“Hmm?” Matsukawa hummed as others started to arrive after you. One by one. Daichi seemed to be in really bad shape. Still it seemed that you were about to go again.

“…should we leave before they remember us? They might ask us to join them…”

Matsukawa glanced at his friend before turning his attention back on you and others. He felt chills. Kuroo and Bokuto were the athlete ones and they were fighting for breath after one round. 

It wasn’t good sign.

Matsukawa gulped and slowly rose, “If we move slowly they might not notice us.”

“Yeah…”, Hanamaki half-whispered and followed his friends lead. “Avoid the windows. At the glass wall let’s just run.”

“Yeah”, Matsukawa whispered.

After you and others had left for the next round Daichi turned to look inside through the windows. The lounge was empty. It felt like he was forgetting something… but he couldn’t recall it. Little he knew that right when he turned his attention elsewhere two cautious drivers peeked from a window and made a run for it. 

****

*** * * * ***

* * *

  
  


A black helicopter was preparing for leaving. There was the sigil of the Allied Guards’ Headquarters, a white bird spreading its wings around an orange sun on a deep red field, on the helicopter’s side. The convict was about to be moved to Rosbelian where he would be interrogated and locked in a prison for good as a prisoner of the war. 

The Elites were monitoring the happening while getting ready for the coming trainings. You were with them, stretching your arms and legs - Kuroo needed your help with a combat training later. The men noticed movement at the main building and soon Watari came outside with the convict. The men of the Headquarters took the man in the half way and headed towards the helicopter with him.

The convict seemed exhausted. Stressed. He was thinner than you remembered... though you had heard he had lost his appetite and sleep. Some even claimed that the man had lost his sanity. The Blood Brother was hugging his right arm, pressing it against his chest like it would drop if he didn’t. His eyes were glazed.

Oikawa glanced at you cunningly before starting loud tattling, “You know…” Everyone turned to look at him. Oikawa nodded at the convict. “I heard that as they were changing the bandages they noticed that the convict wasn’t missing just one finger… his middle finger was gone too!”

Everybody, except Akaashi, got startled and sounded surprised since none of them had heard about this. Well… you had… somehow… Oikawa noticed you to turn trouble just for a moment. He grinned. 

“But we saw just one finger in the cell!” Sugawara breathed out aghast. He glanced you but you were just casually stretching your legs. Sugawara turned to Akaashi troubled, “Akaashi, weren’t you translating the conversation between Dr. Takeda and the convict?”

Akaashi nodded, “The convict got pretty shocked when they noticed the missing finger. Dr. Takeda didn’t seem to know about it either. The convict desperately asked after his finger so Takeda had to admit that he wasn’t the one who had performed the surgery.” Kuroo and Bokuto laughed troubled while Daichi and Iwaizumi gulped. For the first time they felt sorry for the convict, “When he learned that it was actually (Surname)-san who had operated him, he fainted.”

You felt everyone’s eyes on you, and when you turned, the Elites were staring at you while smiling troubled. You furrowed before Akaashi continued, “After that his mind stopped working… he kept counting his fingers. Some say he went insane but I think that was just his way to keep his sanity.”

Everyone turned to look at the convict again. They were just starting the helicopter – slowly the propellers started to move. As the speed grew the wind dusted sand in the air. The wind reached even you and the Elites, making some protect their eyes as the sand storm went past you. 

Oikawa turned to you, frustrated, “(Name)-chan! What did you do to that other finger? It is still missing ~ “

Everyone turned to stare at you again. The wind made your hair dance gently as you watched the helicopter. As the doors were shut and the helicopter started to get up, you sighed.

“He will find it… eventually”, you said before turning around and heading towards the gym.

“Eh?” Everyone were aghast. For a moment they saw a smirk on your face. It freaked them out – blood drained from their faces. “EEEEEHHHH??!?!?”, they shouted in unison as they jumped up and followed you. 

“J-JUST WAIT!!” Daichi and Sugawara shouted in horror as they ran after you. _She didn’t, did she?!!?!?_

Everyone busied around you while trying to figure out if you were serious or bluffing. You just furrowed your browns annoyed. Bokuto ran past you and stopped in front of you, forcing you to stop. Kuroo appeared behind him and leaned on Bokuto’s shoulder as Bokuto asked the question everyone were wondering right now, “D-did you really seal that finger up to his a-arse!?” 

Oikawa sneaked next to Bokuto to see your reaction. Iwaizumi was on your left with Sugawara and Daichi with Akaashi on your right. They were sweating while holding their breaths. It was distressing to see you so calm. 

You sighed and scratched the bridge of your nose, “I don’t quite understand your question ~” After that you just walked past the men. They didn’t buy it. 

“(Name)!!” 

“Tell us!” 

“(Name)-chan! You can’t just leave like that!” Oikawa whined as he jogged next to you and pulled you from your shirt gently. It annoyed you, but you were actually enjoying their reaction. “The case is still open!”

“Oh, but isn’t.” You flicked Oikawa’s hand making man wince little and letting go of your shirt. You glanced at the men behind you, “There is no case about this after all.” 

You left Elites dumbfounded and moved on. 

“(Name)!! WAIT!”” 

But you didn’t. 

You ran.

  


* * *

* * *

  


****

*** * * *BONUS* * * ***

The room was dim and getting dimmer all the while, the night was falling fast. It was chilly. By the mumbled sounds Daichi could figure out being underground. He could hear cars drive past the building, steps, shouts… the enemy was one floor above him. They were celebrating his capture.

Daichi grit his teeth whenever he tried to move. He was got quite a beating after arriving to the basement. The chair creaked under him as he tried to wriggle his hands free from ropes once again. His hands were getting numb, but the rope wasn’t loosing at all. There was a possibility that his left wrist was broken: some Blood Brother had twisted it quite badly. 

The chair creaked again as he tried to pull his arms loose. It wasn’t helping at all. 

Daichi wanted to believe that he would be rescued by the end of the day, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up. _This was my choice_ , he kept telling himself. _If I hadn’t done it, my men could have been killed_.

The enemy soldiers on the upstairs laughed loudly. It made Daichi feel frustrated. _This was my choice… I will accept the penalties of this choice._

There was a sudden loud noise. Did something fall? Or was it… a gunshot? Before Daichi could decide firing started in the upstairs. There was mumbled shouts and screams, running steps. Cars braked at the street, stopped. As firing went on Daichi could separate steps coming towards him. Towards the basement. 

Somebody tried to open the door but it was locked. 

Then it was kicked in. Impatiently. Without hesitation.

The sudden loud noise made Daichi’s ears ring, the light coming from the door forced him to squint his eyes. Kuroo and Iwaizumi rushed in the room decidedly. Iwaizumi stayed at the door and pointed his gun towards the stairway, making sure nobody was following them. Kuroo walked straight to Daichi. The firing was still going on upstairs but it was quieting down. A grenade exploded somewhere.

Before Daichi could heave a sigh of relief and thank the Elites for finding him, Kuroo spoke,

“I apologize my hastiness but we really need to rush back, Captain.” Kuroo cut the ropes and helped Daichi up. He wrapped Daichi’s arm over his shoulder to support him. Before moving towards the door, Kuroo quickly scanned the room so nothing important wouldn’t been left behind. 

Iwaizumi glanced at Kuroo before talking to his headset, “We got him. Coming back up.”

Oikawa answered, “[ _The first floor is secured. Bokuto moved to the upper floors with the local forces. Akaashi and Suga are talking to the chief of the police forces. There’s two hostages by now._ ]” 

"Check..."

Daichi blinked confused as Kuroo started to help him up the stairs while Iwaizumi went ahead to secure the stairway. Everything was happening so quickly. 

“Could… somebody tell me what is going on?”

“Hee… I would love to tell you the whole story but I know I would just overrode something important.” Kuroo answered while a smile grew on his lips as he would have remembered something funny. Daichi furrowed in confusion before grunting. Pain was getting worse as he moved. 

They arrived in the first floor where Sugawara was already waiting him with Oikawa and Akaashi. Iwaizumi was at the stairway to the upper floors. Shooting had stopped as soon as it had started. Faint steps could be heard as soldiers moved in upstairs, and soon Bokuto joined their company. Sugawara walked to Daichi while seeming troubled. 

“It’s great to have you back, Daichi.” Sugawara was grinding his teeth, he was stressed over something. He was avoiding Daichi’s eyes. 

_What’s going on?_

Kuroo checked the time, “We need to get going.”

“Why are we rushing again?” Daichi asked vexed as Kuroo and Sugawara started to help him towards the vehicles. The pain was getting intolerable; it was pulsing to his whole body, making his loose his strength. Daichi could feel Sugawara tense up. At first nobody was giving an answer. “Well?”

“Let’s just say that (Name) is in trouble.”

Daichi furrowed, “(Name)? What has happened?”

Kuroo sneered mischievously. Sugawara sighed in fraught manner almost immediately, “Oh god…” 

Iwaizumi started, “Well... she threatened a convict we got after the enemy got you.”

“(Name)-chan broke his fingers too!” Oikawa continued almost happily as he stepped in the transporting car with others. “She was treating them at first but then she twisted them out of their places. One finger even broke! You should have heard the sound it made! Yuck!”

“(Name) also fiddled the rules of the Elites! She was like 'I'm not a man nor an Elite yet, so I can do whatever I please.'”, Bokuto said excitedly while helping Daichi in the vehicle before stepping in after him.

Akaashi was the last one to get in, “Well she also broke the rules.”

Oikawa knocked the roof of the vehicle and soon they were moving. 

“Pfff…she said that she would gladly shove those filthy fingers up to his ass if needed…” Bokuto laughed. Oikawa laughed too.

Kuroo smirked to the memory again before continuing the story, “She even played dump in front of Ukai and got away with it. I don’t know about you guys but that was brilliant!”

“Brilliant indeed… she even amputated the convict’s fingers… and… well… stole them.” Iwaizumi seemed to feel ashamed. As if he should have been able to stop it before it even happened.

Akaashi sighed, “Before we noticed, she had slipped in the cell where the convict was held - -”

“They claim (Name)-chan tortured the man in his own cell to get the information!!” Oikawa shouted over Akaashi. The brunet Elite seemed to be upset. “That’s just too much!”

“Well the convict was almost half-dead when we got to the cell”, Iwaizumi said a bit irritated, “They have good reasons to claim that! Even that finger was there!”

“Aaaand now she in prison herself!”, Bokuto said it like it was a record or something. 

“Let’s not forget that we ran away with the evidence against Ukai’s orders…” Akaashi reminded. 

“Oh… y-yeah…” “True.” 

“Mmm… So yeah, we need to hurry back”, Kuroo finished the conversation. “Hopefully you understand now!” Everybody, except Sugawara who was staring through the floor again, nodded and waited for Daichi’s reaction. 

There wasn’t any. 

Daichi stared at his men dumbfounded for a while, trying to proceed the information. It wasn’t processing anywhere. _Who are they talking about again?_ It felt like the Elites were trying to pull some prank on him. Still, Daichi knew that his men weren’t too good at acting, plus Sugawara’s reactions told that the men hadn’t colored the story.

When Daichi tried make an eye contact with the vice-captain, Sugawara turned his gaze to the opposite direction. There was sweat drops on his temple.

“Suga… how did all this..?” Daichi couldn’t even describe it. "...what..??"

Sugawara just shook his head without making eye contact. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t even know. I spaced out for a moment and it just happened.”

Daichi stared at the man who was supposed to be his right hand even more dumbfounded. He was so confused. _She would never do that_. He was getting more and more troubled about you, the more he learned about the happenings before his rescue. 

He had a hunch that he might have a severe headache later too. 

****

*** * * * ***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you enjoyed the chapter! 
> 
> If you are interested in betaing and like the series,  
> please contact me: duuupuh@hotmail.com :)
> 
> See you soon!


	8. Never miss a good chance to shut up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

You stood in front of the noticeboard in the lounge. The schedules looked weird and didn’t make sense to you. Tomorrow everybody was supposed to participate in the same… occasion? Or was it training? You didn’t have a clue what was in for the next day, since it was written as abbreviation.

_CTF-2_ … you read it again. Apparently, you were participating in it too. The location was also unfamiliar to you; _Zana?_ You checked the map but couldn’t find any city named Zana. It couldn’t be a base, you were sure about it. You felt frustrated; you had been in Crow’s Nest for two months and you still couldn’t figure out a single abbreviation. 

_Why must they use abbreviations anyway?_ you thought as annoyance build in you. 

“W-Why are you glaring at the board, (Name)?” Bokuto asked, cautiously. You had stood at the noticeboard for a while already. Both of you were waiting for the others to finish their practices. 

“I’m just wondering…” you mumbled while furrowing your eyebrows. 

Bokuto tilted his head in an asking manner before walking to your side. He followed your gaze and stared at the noticeboard with you. Soon realization hit him, “AH!! So you were wondering what happens tomorrow, hm?” Before you could answer him, he continued excitedly. “It’s CTF-2, which means the ‘capture the flag’ - game in two man teams! We rarely have those trainings.”

You blinked. “I see… and this ‘Zana’ is..?”

It took a moment for Bokuto to understand you were asking a question, “…uuh. OH! Zana is an abandoned city near Gezende! We use it frequently for combat practice in cities.”

Bokuto moved to the map of Arylean and pointed a small dot on the map, to northwest from Crow’s Nest. 

_Zana, huh?_ you thought while looking at the dot.

After a meal Akaashi told you about Zana. The city had been quite lively during its best days. It was surprising to hear since it was in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of a rocky wasteland. Zana wasn’t big, but it had provided work for everyone and had been pleasant place to live in. Or so Akaashi had heard.

But like you already knew, the city was now abandoned. When the War of Blood had broken out, the Blood Brothers had taken over the city while trying to reach the capital. The Allied Guards took back the city and forced the Blood Brothers to retreat behind the Sweet River. The city was damaged because of multiple bombings and heavy firing. Most of the city’s residents never returned to the city… and those who returned, left soon after the base of Crow’s Nest was built about 50 kilometers away. People believed that Zana became the enemy’s target because of the base. 

Zana turned into a ghost town, but he city’s days weren’t over yet – nowadays it provided a perfect place for training. Most of the battles against the Blood Brothers were battled in cities like Zana after all.

-

 

After the normal morning routines, you headed towards the ghost town with the Elites and the supportive teams. To your surprise, Kageyama and Hinata were also participating. Mashur was coming with you; you were taking a part together, as a team. Nobody had objected since they were interested to see you and Mashur in real action.

You arrived in Zana after midday. The sun was shining brilliantly but the weather wasn’t suffocating. 

“Okay, listen up!” Daichi called and everyone made a ring around him. Daichi’s left hand hadn’t completely healed yet and he still needed to use a brace. It was crystal clear that he wouldn’t be participating in the training. If he did, you would stop him. 

Everyone was allowed to pick up a gun and a rubber knife of their choices. Everyone were using blood red paintballs to keep damage at minimum and reality at maximum. The battle was carried out in pairs: only one of the pair would be wearing an armband, “the flag”, which was just a piece of clothing with the name of the team written on it. If you got shot, you had to hand over your flag and return to the meeting point. The pair who captured the most flags was the winner.

You we allowed to have an extra handgun, since Mashur for obvious reasons could use guns. Azumane and the shaking-from-excitement trio had special equipment invented for Mashur: a bulletproof dog vest, a muzzle with painting powder on it so the “damage” of the dog’s bite would be visible, and a prototype of the protective dog shoes. Mashur sniffed the stuff excitedly as you dressed him. Your dog was sensing that something new was about to happen.

Everyone wore light gear, which included a bulletproof vest with extra pockets, pads for elbows and knees, a military combat gloves with open fingertips, military shoes, and a headset to communicate with your partner and Daichi when needed. All equipment was in black.

“…if everything is clear, form your teams!” 

Everyone had already decided their partners: you were with Mashur, Bokuto with Kuroo, Iwaizumi with Oikawa, Sugawara with Ennoshita, Akaashi with Kenma, Hinata with Kageyama, Asahi with Nishinoya, Taketora with Tanaka, Yamaguchi with Tsukishima, and Matsukawa with Hanamaki. Daichi would step aside for now and monitor everyone from a computer. The computer showed him everyone’s location on a map. Plus everyone were wearing small button cameras. Daichi would see what was happening through everyone’s vision. 

The communication team tested that everyone had clear connection with their partners. Meanwhile you checked that Mashur felt good in his new gear. The dog seemed calm and showed no intentions to rip the gear or shoes off, which made you feel pleased. He didn’t like the muzzle, but excitement made him forget it from time to time.

Somebody stopped behind you.

“Ee… why are you wearing a first aid kit?” 

You glanced over your shoulder at Matsukawa who looked at you a bit tiredly but still confused. Others, such as Hinata, Yamaguchi, and Ennoshita’s odd trio, also looked at you in an asking manner. You indeed had your first aid kit with you; the kit was locked on your lower back with multiple straps and had some medical equipment in it. 

You sighed as you got up, “Well… the main reason is that I need to get used to its weight and presence so it wouldn’t bother me on the warzone. I need to learn move with it.” 

The weirdo trio gasped in admiration while Hinata and Yamaguchi felt chills. You were thinking so ahead.

“Hmm… Was there some other reason too?” Matsukawa asked.

You patted Mashur’s head gently. “You guys might get your ass kicked today,” you answered while a grin paid a visit on your lips. Mashur licked his lips and stared at the group of men in front of him. 

Matsukawa had to grin back at you.

“Okay! Let’s start! Come here in turns. I will give starting locations! You will go to the given coordinates and wait for my signal to start!” Daichi shouted. 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi went to him first, and as they walked past you, Oikawa smiled at you cunningly. 

“See you soon, (Name)-chan ~ “

Though you felt chills, you nodded calmly. _I hope we won’t_.

The location you and Mashur were given was suitable for your taste; it was in the middle of the city, between tall buildings and near a park. From that point, it was easy to move to any direction. It took a moment before Sawamura contacted everyone. After everyone arrived in the given locations Daichi made sure somebody from each team was wearing the flag. When you finished making sure the armband wouldn’t budge, Daichi informed everyone that the game was about to start.

“[ _Everything looks good! If anyone has any questions in mind this is your last time to ask them_.]” The line was silent for a moment. Nobody said anything so the captain continued, “[ _Good! Let’s start after the buzzer. Good luck everyone!_ ]” 

The buzzer rang. 

You observed the park and your surroundings from a cover. Everything seemed calm, so you blew the dog whistle and Mashur left your side, vanishing between the buildings. No one was near. _Somebody might look cover from the park_ , you thought, _it’s a good place for an ambush_. As you moved towards the park you heard the first shots echo in the city. It made adrenaline rush in you.

In the park, you moved in shadows but you saw nobody for the first ten minutes. The park was overgrown. The air was fresh and moist. It was reassuring that there was still life in Zana: you could hear birds singing, squirrels raced on the branches of the trees… 

Suddenly you heard something else and stopped. 

Fast footsteps. 

You hid yourself by lying down near bushes and aimed at the open area in the front of you. Soon you noticed movement on the front left. 

Hinata. 

He was running pretty carelessly, watching over his shoulder all the while. Was he chased? Where was Kageyama? You took aim but soon noticed that it was impossible to hit Hinata from your current location. You needed to change your position. 

Carefully. Kageyama wouldn’t be too far away from him.

You sneaked closer and crawled to a tree. Slowly you sat up, your back resting against the tree. Hinata hadn’t noticed you, he was busy with arguing with Kageyama. You listened as you took aim again, quietly.

“…th…bad idea Ka…ama! No..I mean that she…anywhere..! You saw the dog at…right?!” It was hard to hear what he was saying but it was clear who they were looking for. _Do you want to get rid of me that badly, Kageyama?_ you wondered as you aimed at Hinata’s chest. 

You took a deep breath and loaded quietly. Hinata was moving quite much and you knew that you needed to hit by first shot. It would make things easier for you at least. You concentrated and aimed, Hinata was in the middle of the aperture of your military rifle.

You put your finger on the trigger and got ready to pull…

“[ _Azumane and Nishinoya, out!_ ]”

Startled, you pulled the trigger too early. You had totally forgotten Daichi! You missed Hinata by ten centimeters, and this didn’t escape his notice. He shot his eyes on you.

_Shit!!_

“SHE’S HERE, KAGEYAMA!! She’s not wearing the flag!” Hinata shouted as he ran towards you. You reloaded and tried to shoot him again but he had already reached the pipe and lifted it up. You shot towards the sky before Hinata was onto you. 

“Got you!!” Hinata shouted as you wrestled on grass. You kicked his stomach before throwing him over you with your legs.

“In your dreams!” you shouted back as you jumped up and pulled out a practice blade. Hinata jumped up and followed the lead. 

_Come at me._

Just as Hinata was about to attack you, he heard Kageyama’s voice through the headset, “[ _Don’t do anything rash! She has more technique than you._ ]” 

“I know!” Hinata answered in frustrated tone as he made some threatening quicks at you with his blade. You backed away a couple of steps. You knew you could finish him quite quickly but Hinata wasn’t the one wearing the flag. You needed to find Kageyama, and you could sense that he already had his eyes on you.

“[ _I can see you! I take my position at the big oak tree so try to force her at me_ ,]” Kageyama said quietly, Hinata could hear him crawling through vegetation. “[ _We will finish her, Hinata._ ]”

Hinata gulped. Right when the buzzer had rang, Kageyama had forced them to move towards the park. Almost if he had sensed that you were there. Somehow Kageyama knew that you would be on the ground level, probably trying to ambush somebody. It seemed to fit your style.

Hinata only needed to lure you out… and there you were. 

After some desperate slashes Hinata had managed to force you move about a meter. He glanced quickly at the oak, _little more!_

Unfortunately, you noticed this… and you figured what it could mean. _Oh? At the tree?_ After some slashes, you took a step to side, away from the tree. It made Hinata panic. He didn’t want you that way, but his panic was just about to grow. 

You put the dog whistle on your lips. _Let’s go buddy…_

Hinata got alerted, “She’s using the whistle!” 

Kageyama saw this too. It was not good. Kageyama noticed Mashur as he had made his way towards the park after Hinata. The canine had stared at him before growling at him. Mashur ran away immediately when Kageyama had moved his rifle. It had left bad taste in the young sniper’s mouth. _He is coming from somewhere..!_

“[ _Keep her busy! I make sure the dog doesn’t reach you!_ ]”

Hinata looked over his shoulders before coming at you again. You kept dodging him for a while before you halted and started to push him back. The whistle never left your lips as you attacked him. Hinata felt terrified and insecure. He had hard time to keep his eyes on you as he looked for the huge Shepherd. 

“Don’t worry,” you suddenly spoke as you showed the orange haired man your rare cunning smile, “It’s not you who he’s aiming for.” Hinata’s eyes widened but before he could warn his partner he heard Kageyama’s gasp and grunting… and really, really malevolent snarling.

“[ _S-SHIT!!! GRAH!! GET OFF ME!!_ ]”

While Hinata was distracted you caught his blade hand and dashed behind him. Soon you were holding your blade on his throat. The rubber blade’s dull edge sliced Hinata’s neck.

“You died.”

You heard Kageyama’s desperate shouting in the bushes at a big oak tree. After whistling again, Mashur galloped to your side and it didn’t take long for Kageyama to crawl out too. His face, throat and arms were covered in red paint from Mashur’s muzzle. 

“Looks like you both died.” 

Hinata gulped, without the muzzle Mashur would have ripped Kageyama’s face and throat open. Hinata glanced at the dog who was now fawning his tail in an excited manner next to you. He seemed so harmless.

Kageyama walked to you as he wiped the paint from his face. You released Hinata, taking their flag without saying a word. Well… you smiled slightly, which was like quiet mocking to Kageyama. You picked up your rifle and started to move to new location. You had heard a gunshot in close proximity, and you were sure that the fight you just had didn’t go unnoticed either. 

Hinata and Kageyama watched you go. The smaller male was terrified; Kageyama was probably boiling over… 

“She is… sharp,” Kageyama suddenly said. “Very sharp.” There was weird weight in his voice. 

Hinata blinked confused. “W-Wait… you’re not… angry?” 

Kageyama clicked his tongue, annoyed. “Of course, this annoys me… but this time she showed what she can do.”

Hinata stared at his partner in awe, _waaah… it must be hard to admit that, Kageyama!_

The black-haired man glanced at Hinata, irritated before getting his stuff. “Stop that, it’s disgusting. Let’s inform Daichi our defeat and move to the starting point.” 

“What do you mean disgusting!?” 

-

Oikawa inhaled slowly as he aimed at the unsuspecting man in distance. When the sniper was sure he got the man, he exhaled and pulled the trigger confidently. The gunshot echoed in the empty building and soon he could hear satisfying cursing as the paintball hit Tanaka’s forehead and red paint poured on his face. 

_Headshot ~_ , he sang in his head as he got up to move downstairs. Iwaizumi was probably already at Yamamoto. “Did you get him already?” 

Oikawa’s headset buzzed little.

“[ _Not yet_ ,]” Iwaizumi answered huffing; he was running. It didn’t take long before Oikawa could hear a shriek coming from somewhere near. “[ _Never mind, I got him._ ]” 

Oikawa hummed as he walked to Tanaka who still wiped paint from his eyes. 

“Shit dammit Oikawa!! You just had to shoot right between the eyes again?!” Tanaka ranted. The paint was burning his eyes. 

Oikawa chuckled, “Your face looked kind of pale so I thought to put some color on it ~ ” 

Tanaka was about to get up and fight the Elite but was interrupted as Iwaizumi dragged Yamamoto to them. Yamamoto was quite beaten: his nostril was bleeding and there were bruises on his arms. There was a nasty looking bump on his head.

“YA-YAMAMOTO?!” Tanaka watched his friend, horrified. “Why the fuck did you beat my bro up, Iwaizumi?!” Tanaka rushed to check if his friend was even alive anymore.

“Don’t blame me, he slipped on the stairs spontaneously,” Iwaizumi answered calmly as he offered the armband, which he had caught from Yamamoto, to Oikawa.

Yamamoto whimpered and pointed his finger at the Elite, “D-don’t you dare to call it spontaneous!! You were chasing me a huge knife in your hand, fuck dammit!” 

“[ _Yamamoto and Tanaka, out!_ ]” Daichi called out. Soon everyone’s headsets buzzed again, “[ _Hinata and Kageyama are out too!_ ]”

Iwaizumi got quite surprised by this. “Oho! They didn’t survive long this time!”

“They definitely went after (Surname)-san… pffhaha! At least they learned their lesson!” Tanaka laughed. 

“Eeeh… I wanted to eliminate them myself!” Oikawa whined before smiling cunningly. Tanaka and Yamamoto shivered while Iwaizumi got ready to move. Oikawa had clearly decided who they would get next. “Well, can’t help it. Let’s go Iwa-chan!” 

But Iwaizumi was already going, making Oikawa whine as he ran after his friend. Yamamoto and Tanaka stared at the duo, troubled.

Yamamoto gulped. “(Surname)-san has surely awakened many dangerous men’s interest…”

Tanaka could just agree. He really didn’t want to be in your shoes right now.

 

Well, neither wanted you. Not anymore. You were running for your dear life. _How the hell did I not notice them earlier?!_ Red paint splattered as a paintball hit a wall next to you. Too close. You dived to a narrow alley before going inside a building from a window. You dared not to stay there. You ran through an empty room before finding a stairway and made your way up.

“[ _Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, out!_ ]”

You huffed, from the highest floor you could move to the roof and change from building to another quicker. Maybe even lead your chasers astray. You heard him running in the stairs too. 

_Shit!! How persistent can they be?!_

****

Earlier: 

****

**  
**

The park had remained silent so you decided to move into the city. If you ever had heard shooting you had moved to the opposite direction, nothing would had been worse than to get in the middle of a crossfire. You had sneaked through the city while observing the surrounding areas with Mashur. The dog had seemed to get restless: he had wanted to explore the area and lead others to you. 

After waiting a while you had blown the dog whistle once and Mashur’s ears had perked up. He had turned his attention on you. “ _Carefully. Go._ ” Immediately after you gave him the permission to go, Mashur had galloped away and vanished. 

You moved ahead a while, quietly in the shadows, while anticipating and observing. Listening. 

Precipitously, you heard noise coming from the roof of the two-story building, which was right next to you. Steps. Swiftly you moved to a narrow alley and pressed you back against the building’s wall, _somebody is on the roof_. Mashur hadn’t smelled him? The steps moved closer to the edge of the roof. Towards the alley between two buildings. At you.

The person stopped almost at the end of the gable roof. Your heart was bounding. He was literally above you. Carefully you aimed up with your rifle, _if he peeks down, I shoot him_. 

You heard a discontent groan. 

“ _Dude, I was sure I saw movement over here a while ago!_ ” the person sighed frustrated… and after that you couldn’t have been more terrified of the man on the roof. You recognized his voice. _Nope_ , you thought as you lowered your gun and decided to get hell out of there, _nooope, I’m not facing him_. 

“ _Seriously where is everybody?_ ” 

Bokuto Koutarou.

He had scoped the area while Kuroo spoke to him through the headset. Meanwhile you moved to the corner of the building and peeked at the roof. Bokuto was crouching on the ridge, not noticing you. Slowly you pressed you back against the wall again. You might need to dash to the next building.

“ _Yeaaah… maybe you’re right. I go down._ ”

You froze. _He’s coming down?!_ you panicked. There was no other warning, out of the blue Bokuto just jumped down and grunted. He landed only three meters away from you. The corner of the building was only thing between you. 

_Shit shit shit shit shit!_

Bokuto walked forward and stopped at the alley. 

He turned and stared at it for a while. There was nothing. No one. 

“ _Geez, this is no fun Kuroo! I want action!_ ” 

It had been matter of seconds that you had gotten away. You had rapidly backed away and sneaked in the adjacent building and lowered yourself down so he wouldn’t see you from windows. Bokuto had stayed still for a moment and listened before talking to Kuroo again. 

Soon he jogged away.

You peeked out from the window. Bokuto was nowhere to be seen. I wasn’t noticed? 

But as you were about to sigh in relief and get up, you noticed movement. 

Inside the building. 

**Next to you.**

Hanamaki Takahiro stared at you dumbfounded, eyes wide open from shock. Frozen. He had been hiding from Bokuto too, and suddenly you had stormed in the building without seeing him. There was less than four meters between you.

You had frozen too, and stared the man confused. _Huh?_ For a moment, you hadn’t known what to do. How to proceed? Hanamaki seemed to have the same problem. Nothing happened. It was as if the both of you had just encountered with another human for the first time.

The situation was uncontrollably weird.

“ _Oi Makki! I think the route is clear…_ ” Matsukawa whispered as he had entered the room from the upstairs. He was wearing the armband. Both, you and Hanamaki, stared at the black haired man confused. 

Then reality had hit you, _I need to get hell out of here_! and you had dashed out of the building. 

 

****

Back to present: 

****

**  
**

_That was an impossibly idiotic mistake from me_ , you thought irritated as you reached the roof. As you stepped on a roof ridge you noticed Hanamaki on the ground. As soon as he noticed you he aimed at you with his rifle. The first shot was too low and the following one too ahead of you. You grunted as you made your way forward while observing him. It was already hard to balance on the ridge. You managed to shoot back at Hanamaki a couple of times before Matsukawa reached the roof. 

You gritted your teeth. Your position was impossible. After shooting Matsukawa a couple of times, you managed to force him to take cover from the building before you climbed on the next roof. 

“You won’t get away!!” Hanamaki shouted as he took aim again.

You turned your attention on him again, the whistle was on your lips. Your eyes gleamed fatality. Hanamaki felt chills.

“Watch out for the dog!” Matsukawa shouted from the cover. Hanamaki had to lower his gun and turn around to look for Mashur. He span around a couple of times but didn’t see the canine anywhere, “MAKKI! She’s getting away!!” 

When he turned around, you had already got away from his aim. 

“Damn, she tricked us!”

Your legs felt heavy but you couldn’t stop now. You jumped down on the other roof and hid behind chimney, you pressed your back against it as you prepared your rifle. Matsukawa’s footsteps were quite hearable. When you heard him to jump down on the same roof you jumped out of your cover and aimed.

_He’s too close!_

Matsukawa tackled you, easily dodging one sad shot you had tried to fire at him. You lost your balance and soon both of you rolled down towards the edge of the roof.

While wrestling you managed to rip the armband from Matsukawa’s shoulder. The man didn’t approve and gripped you tightly. Still, you squirmed away from Matsukawa’s grip and gave him a powerful kick on his stomach which made the man grunt in pain.

You made a run for it. But then… 

“HALT!”

…Hanamaki appeared in front of you, with you in his aim. 

“You are not going anywhere, miss.” 

You grunted beaten while lifting your hands up. Matsukawa walked to you while pressing his stomach. “Oh ow… wow. You kicked me for real!”

“I told you get your ass kicked today,” you spat.

“You kicked my stomach, not ass. Shouldn’t you know the difference?” His mocking made you want to kick him again. Matsukawa walked to you and took his armband back, “I will be taking this back, thank you ~ “

Hanamaki observed you while squinting, “You don’t have the flag?”

You shook your head before smiling. “I don’t… but I think you should ask him.” You nodded at Hanamaki’s direction and everybody could hear low rumbling. 

“Go! Go!” you shouted and Mashur lunged at Hanamaki who barely managed to put the rifle between the dog and his throat. He fell on his back. Meanwhile, you attacked unsuspecting Matsukawa with a power kick which made Matsukawa fall. 

Hanamaki pushed Mashur over him, making the dog whine little as he crashed on the ground. 

You raised your pistol at Matsukawa.

“HALT!” Hanamaki shouted once again. You were aiming at Matsukawa and Hanamaki was aiming at you while Mashur stood between you. “The first one who moves will be shot!” 

Mashur was about to lunge again at the man but you stopped him just in time. Mashur didn’t move but snarled at the brown-haired soldier. 

You were trapped. If you shot Matsukawa, Hanamaki would shoot Mashur and then you. If you turned and aimed at Hanamaki, he would be able to shoot you or Mashur and then there would still be Matsukawa. It didn’t look good. It frustrated, you had managed to struggle this far and yet they still got you! 

You slowly held your hands ups and dropped your pistol on the ground. You glared at the men.

“I think you should end their game right now Makki… it’s dangerous to wait,” Matsukawa said gloomily. He was still feeling your kick.

You swallowed uneasily.

“Yeah…” Hanamaki stared at you and Mashur and took aim at you, “Sorry, I need to do this just in c- -”

***BANG***

A paintball came from the roof and hit Hanamaki’s chest – red paint splattered on his face. 

***BANG***

Another paintball hit Matsukawa on his back. Your eyes widened, what happened? The shots had come unexpectedly. You and the drivers followed the paintballs flight path to the roof across the street you were. Two figures sat there, looking quite relaxed. 

“Haha!! Bro I told you I saw movement nearby!” 

“You sure did… but how the fuck did you miss three people?” 

Kuroo and Bokuto watched three of you, amused. Their eyes gleamed in excitement. 

“Hahaha, look at their faces! Seriously! You didn’t expect to see us anymore, huh?” Bokuto laughed as he got up and threw his rifle on his back again. Kuroo smirked and winked at you. 

“Surely not…” Matsukawa sighed as he got over the fact the Elites had demolished them, “How did you even find us? I saw Bokuto rush to the opposite direction from here.”

Kuroo and Bokuto glanced at each other before grinning. “We are Elites! We always find what we are looking for!” They seemed to be so proud of themselves. They even gave each other fist bumps.

You gulped, _why haven’t they shot me yet?_ Carefully you lowered your hands and lifted the whistle on your lips. You had an idea what was happening, you just didn’t want to believe in it. 

Hanamaki sat down and stared at the men unimpressed, “You guys saw Mashur and followed him here, didn’t you?”

“N-NO WE DIDN’T!!” The Elite’s shouted fake-offended, but there was nobody to believe them.

“You are so plain...” Hanamaki sighed as he wiped the paint from his face with his shirt.

Matsukawa hummed in agreement and pointed at you while holding their team’s armband in the same hand, “Then why didn’t you shoot her too? Did you just come to save her?” 

Bokuto and Kuroo stared at Matsukawa confused, before blinking at you. At first, they didn’t seem to understand the question. Wasn’t Matsukawa holding your flag? _Wait a minute…_ Mashur was still wearing a flag. Your flag. As realization of the circumstances started to hit them, their eyes widened. They visibly cringed. 

“W-WAIT, YOU GYUS DIDN’T SHOOT HER YET?!?!” “IS (NAME) STILL IN THE GAME?!” 

_I knew it_ , you thought as you got ready to run, _they are idiots_.

“[ _Akaashi and Kenma, out!_ ]”

“WHUT?!” “Kenma noooo!!!”

It was you chance. Quickly, you yanked the armband from Matsukawa’s hand and picked up your pistol from the ground. There wasn’t time to get your rifle. You had to run! You blew the whistle so Mashur would follow you and ran past Hanamaki out of the Elites sight. Kuroo and Bokuto stared at you in disbelief.

“Bro, she’s escaping with our armband!!” 

Kuroo clicked his teeth and got up too. “Let’s go, let’s go!!”

Hanamaki and Matsukawa stared at the men awkwardly as the chaos was finally settled. Bokuto jumped down from the roof and ran past them while Kuroo kept going on the rooftops. When the men vanished, Matsukawa and Hanamaki sighed in unison. Were they really the Elites of the Crow’s Nest? The greatest warriors. The liberators of the kingdom of Arylean. The lost children felt like a more accurate description.

“Damn she sure is brilliant,” Matsukawa huffed as he collected his stuff. His stomach hurt, “Ow… but so damn brutal.”

Hanamaki nodded as he contacted Daichi, “Once she learns to use a rifle properly, (Surname) will be quite horrible opponent.” 

“[ _Hanamaki and Matsukawa, out!_ ]”

The duo made their way towards the meeting point in silence. It had been quite thrilling to have you against them. Hanamaki accidently laughed out loud.

“What’s so funny?” Matsukawa asked.

Hanamaki smirked. “(Surname) is just so unpredictable! Like… who has nerves to trick person with a whistle when you are at gunpoint? She was just so brilliant!”

Matsukawa smiled but soon his smile turned a bit troubled. “Do you think… that she came at us with all she got? I mean that was good job but… yeah. It felt a bit forced.”

Hanamaki stared at his friend a while. He sighed, he had thought about it too. 

“Maybe it was forced… but now she is facing _them_ …”

Matsukawa nodded. He felt little troubled for you. Kuroo and Bokuto were the men who had pressed you over the edge before. Maybe they could do it once again, whether you wanted it or not.

-

 

It was impossible to leave Bokuto behind. The man had already decided to catch you. You knew how he wanted to challenge you once again, to see you fight and struggle. There was no way you would let that happen again. You zigzagged across the streets, climbed on roofs, dropped down, ran through buildings, zigzagged some more, and still that man refused to fall behind. Whenever you glanced over your shoulder your eyes met with Bokuto’s golden ones. 

It irritated you.

You had commanded Mashur to keep distance, but you knew he was somewhere close. He wouldn’t leave you alone during dire straits. 

You ran through an alley when you suddenly heard Mashur’s bark coming near. Your instincts kicked in and you dodged down, sliding on the sandy ground. A paintball went over your head and splattered against the wall. Mashur had his eyes on the shooter. You glanced at the direction where it had come – Kuroo’s smirk turned troubled as he tried to quickly reload his rifle on the roof, but soon he had to run after you again. He jumped on rooftops while Bokuto ran after you. It felt like some freaking animals were after you. Mashur’s eyes followed Kuroo closely. After whistling Mashur vanished i between the buildings again.

It was irritating just to run away but you couldn’t do anything. If you stopped, Bokuto would get you in seconds if Kuroo didn’t manage to shoot you beforehand.

You heard gunshots coming from your right, somewhere quite near. Less than kilometer away. Soon the announcement followed the gunshots.

“[ _Sugawara and Ennoshita, out!_ ]”

Once again you got an idea but it fought against everything you had been taught. It was quite suicidal… but when you glanced over your shoulder again you knew you were dead quite soon anyway. _Shit, let’s just try it_ , you thought, frustrated as you sped up little and headed to right. You also gave new orders to Mashur.

“What the hell?! She is speeding up?!” Bokuto shouted, abashed.

“[ _Don’t lose sight of her! Stay sharp… Mashur ran to same direction and I heard gunshots coming from there_ ,]” Kuroo warned as he jumped down from the roof and headed to same direction as you. 

“Sure!! OoooaaAAAAAAAHHHH!!!” Bokuto shouted as he picked up speed.

The consequences of running started to remind you about themselves – the left side of your chest stung and your legs felt heavier and heavier. Your lungs were burning. But you knew there wasn’t long way to go anymore. Soon Mashur should find what you were looking for. 

Bokuto was getting closer. His smirk told you that he knew that you were finally getting tired.

_Hurry up, buddy!_

Your thoughts seemed to get through, and soon you heard the sweetest sound in this world. A bark. It wasn’t far away. You saw a really narrow street between two tall buildings. _Over there!_ Quickly you dashed there, the walls scratched your arms as you ran through it. This made Bokuto fall behind a bit.

When you finally got out you looked around and saw…

…Iwaizumi. On your left.

He had his back towards you, and in front of him in distance was Mashur. The canine saw you and barked. Iwaizumi heard your steps and turned around quickly. He was fast to act; he took his rifle and aimed… 

_What in - -?!_ He had no time to pull the trigger.

You came at him fast and suddenly you dived, sliding between his legs.

“Have fun!!” 

Before Iwaizumi could turn to go after you Bokuto suddenly appeared in front of him from the same narrow street. Bokuto was about to dash after you but when he saw Iwaizumi he dived out of his aim. 

“What the fuck?!”

Iwaizumi’s shot missed barely. Both were shocked.

“Kuroo, Iwaizumi is here!” Bokuto shouted to his headset as he ran to a fountain in the middle of open area. It was the only place that could provide some cover against Iwaizumi. 

“I spotted Bokuto and (Surname)!” Iwaizumi shouted, aghast. He needed to take cover as Bokuto opened fire. Iwaizumi managed to spot you right before you vanished behind a corner, Mashur right on your heels. _Seriously, what was that?!_ “Enemy fire! (Surname) and Mashur are heading towards the center!”

“[ _Do you see Kuroo anywhere?_ ]” Oikawa asked as he was changed his position. He was either running up or down the stairs.

“Negative! Only Bokuto!” Iwaizumi shouted through firing. “Bokuto doesn’t have any cover from sides or back. Get here quickly! Kuroo can’t be too far away.” _Those two never separate._

“[ _Coming!_ ]” 

Kuroo was already at the scene, in shadows. “What the fuck is with that position, Bokuto?! You are open from every side!” he hissed, upset.

“[ _Well shit, you think I don’t know?! I didn’t have anything better at hand!_ ]” Bokuto sounded frustrated. He had almost caught you! “[ _Get me out of here before Oikawa appears!_ ]”

Kuroo aimed at Iwaizumi from shadows. “Just keep him busy. I will finish him in one go.” 

Iwaizumi had no idea of Kuroo’s presence. Kuroo was skilled killer – quiet and sharp. Deadly. He never let his focus slip, never ever let his will to kill show. He took his aim. The rifle’s aperture framed Iwaizumi’s chest beautifully. Kuroo had his finger on the trigger.

“[ _Iwa-chan, cover! Kuroo is on your right!_ ]”

Startled. Iwaizumi glanced to right before diving in to cover. Paintball hit the spot where Iwaizumi had sat a second ago. Kuroo felt chills, _fuck it!_

“Bokuto, Oikawa is here! Get the fuck out of there!”

Heavy firing filled the area. 

When you heard it you finally allowed yourself to stop and catch your breath. You found a nice hiding place in a small park in the center of the city. You sat at a tree surrounded by bushes. Mashur listened to the firing attentively before you called him to join your company. Only then you noticed that Mashur had lost one of the protective shoes. 

“Phuaa! We will never find that one!” you whined tiredly as you tried to catch your breath. Mashur just fawned to your talking. 

It annoyed how you needed to rely on running. For you it was only reliable way to survive. You had run away so long that you didn’t remember how to stop and fight anymore. But this was about surviving… and you managed to capture two flags. It’s not too bad result since there were ten pairs in total. 

“[ _Kuroo and Bokuto, out!_ ]”

“Oh god…” you whispered. Suddenly you didn’t feel so safe anymore. But as you were about to get up and look for a place for an ambush your headset buzzed again.

“[ _And the time is up! Everyone return to the meeting point!_ ]”

You sighed relieved. There was no way you could have ran any further anyway. Mashur jumped around happily when you took the muzzle off. “Mashur, free. The game ended, okay? Let’s go to the others.” 

As you made your way towards the meeting point you met with Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Kuroo and Bokuto. 

Kuroo and Bokuto looked quite displeased. Kuroo had a red splash on his chest while Bokuto had one on his stomach and shoulder. There were only splatters on Oikawa and Iwaizumi, no direct hits.

“You pulled a quite unpleasant trick over there, (Name),” Kuroo said, annoyed. Bokuto glared at you dissatisfied. Sulking. His spiky hair had somehow slumped which made him look a bit pathetic. 

Mashur came between you and the men, growling little. You shushed at the dog before glancing at the men unimpressed. 

“I didn’t ever ask you to follow me, did I?” 

“You stole our flag!!” Bokuto shouted as he came at you frustrated. Mashur bared his teeth slightly, which caused Bokuto to take a step back. “W-Why isn’t he wearing the muzzle?”

You glanced at you dog, “The game ended already, idiot.” The men around you didn’t know to who you were talking to. Mashur licked his lips sweetly and fawned carefully; he didn’t want you to be mad at him. You glanced at the unpleased men again.

“If I remember correctly, this game was named ‘capture the flag’…” There was a sly tone in your voice when you said, “…and that I surely did.” You waved two armbands in front of the men. Bokuto and Kuroo wanted to argue with you, but they didn’t know where to start. You had outsmarted them today too many times already. 

As the men tried to find words, Oikawa snorted, “You sure have guts, (Name)-chan!”

 

When you finally arrived back to the others, and when you had finally got deaf to Kuroo and Bokuto’s weak excuses, people rushed to you, amazed. They had watched your and Mashur’s going from the camera that was attached on your clothes. You had totally forgot that you were observed.

“Naif… N-Nice.. work!” Tanaka breathed out furiously blushing.

“G-G-G-Good..! Uhm! I m-mean… g-great..! You w-were! Yes!” Nishinoya nodded, excited.

You blinked, confused.

“They mean that you were brilliant, (Surname)-san,” Akaashi said as he walked to you after the others. He glanced at the sulking men behind you, Bokuto and Kuroo had hard time to accept… well… anything at the moment. They had got quite beating from you. 

Daichi welcomed all of you back too. “Well done everybody! We had really intense encounters once again and we have lots of material to review! Let’s announce the results and head back to the base.”

Oikawa and Iwaizumi had won the ’capture the flag’-battle with the armbands of Tanaka, Sugawara and Bokuto’s teams. It was decided that since you didn’t actually beat Hanamaki and Matsukawa, Bokuto and Kuroo got the armband. They rejoiced over it greatly. They also demolished Asahi and Nishinoya in the beginning of the game. This made them the second best pair.

Your, Sugawara and Akaashi’s teams got one armband each. You got Kageyama and Hinata’s flag in the park, Sugawara got Akaashi and Kenma’s, and Akaashi got Tsukishima and Yamaguchi’s.

As you were getting ready to get in a vehicle Kuroo and Bokuto came to you full of confidence. Kuroo leaned against Bokuto who kept his arms folded contently. They felt so good. So unbeatable. It was time for playful snarling.

“Well, how did it feel? You know… when we got the flag in the end?” Kuroo smirked while Bokuto hummed satisfied. 

After blinking a couple of times, you sighed. Did you really need to hear their boasting? Sugawara told you to ignore them and get in the vehicle but you faced the men instead. 

“Yes, you got the flag. What a pretty flag indeed. I’m really happy that you got that flag in the end ‘cause...” 

You gave a look on the men’s paint stained shirts before you turned your (e/c) orbs on the men. There was a condescending smile on your face. 

“…well …you got utterly defeated and lost your own flag after all.” 

The duo froze.

There was a ruthless smile on your lips. “How did that feel, hm?” 

People who had been close enough to hear the conversation snorted in amusement. Daichi and Tanaka had hard time holding their laugher. You got in the vehicle, Sugawara was smiling uncontrollably when you sat next to him. Daichi had turned his back against Kuroo and Bokuto to hide his face; he was about to crack up. After Mashur jumped in after you Sugawara knocked the car’s metallic roof and the car rode off.

Bokuto and Kuroo felt nasty. Crushed. 

“BOOOM!” Tanaka and Nishinoya shouted in union. “Direct hit!” 

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were getting on the other vehicle and smirked. Tsukishima turned at them and shouted, “How did _that_ feel?” Yamaguchi cracked up. 

The duo felt quite lifeless. 

“I think…” Bokuto started quietly, “…we should shut up for now around her.”

Kuroo stared into distance while his underlings threw seriously crappy comments at them. “Yeah… We should.”

-

 

Like every evening, you and the Elites had once again gathered in the lounge after the supper. Asahi was there too – he wanted to know how the prototypes had worked on Mashur. You sat at the dining table with Asahi while Mashur lay tightly next to your foot. The Elites were watching the video recordings from today. They played them from a computer and projected them on the wall in front of the couch. They seemed to have fun – they were commenting each other’s performance and mocked basically everyone else but themselves. 

“This is great! Watch Yamamoto!” Iwaizumi shouted as he pointed at one screen. Everyone stared it before cracking up.

“OH my god!! He literally flew down those stairs!” Sugawara said aghast.

“BHAHAHAH HA!!” Kuroo and Bokuto laughed. “Holy shit!! HAHHA!”

You stared at the men, unimpressed. 

Asahi asked your opinion about the prototypes so you explained that you had liked the material and Mashur hadn’t even once tried to rip them off. The only thing that worried you was that one of the protective shoes had fallen of at some point. That should never happen, especially if you were on the warzone with Mashur. Otherwise the shoes had worked quite brilliantly.

Asahi wrote down the details and new ideas as you spoke. 

Soon he nodded and put his pencil down, “Okay, great! I have an idea how we will chance them. I think we should test the traction at some point just to be sure we are using the right material.”

“Sounds good,” you said and felt pleased before getting little troubled. “Ee… We’re genuinely sorry that we lost one of the shoes… we can go to look for it if it’s needed!”

Asahi laughed little before shaking his head, “Don’t worry about it! We will make another in no time!”

You sighed, relieved, but before you could thank them the loud shouting started next to you. 

“How could (Name)-chan even be able to dodge that?!” Oikawa shouted astonished as he jumped up and pointed at your screen. You had just dodged Kuroo’s paintball. Everyone looked at the screen in awe. You felt somehow annoyed.

“There’s more to come, wait for it!” Daichi stated excitedly. Oikawa focused on your screen in detail. On the video, you were running in the narrow street and then dashed at Iwaizumi. Oikawa and Bokuto’s jaws dropped when they saw you dive between Iwaizumi’s legs and get away. 

“WHAT WAS THAT?!?” They shouted in unison. 

Kuroo watched your movements, hypnotized. _That’s that explains how she got away…_

“Iwa-chan, how didn’t you get her from there?!” Oikawa watched his best friend in disbelief. “She was coming right at you!”

“HEY! I was focused on Mashur, okay! Then she just appeared and got past me, and before I knew it Bokuto was coming at me!” Iwaizumi ranted back. He turned at Bokuto and Kuroo, “More like, how you guys couldn’t get her?! You made an ambush for her at one point and Kuroo missed!”

Kuroo got up slightly offended, “Oi oi oi! Don’t point your blaming finger at me after _that!_ That dog of hers startled me with a bark! I would never have missed from that position!”

A sudden, loud bark made everyone flinch surprised. Mashur stared at the men over the table while you stared at them exhausted. Why did they have to be so damn loud? 

The men stared at you and the canine for a short while before they got a conclusion. 

“It was the dog’s fault.” “Mashur tricked me.” “That must be it.”

“Aaaand the case is closed,” Daichi finished. He was a bit worried about the expression you had. “Please calm down. Seriously.”

Asahi left when you had gotten up to feed your dog. You had promised to visit his team at the workshop soon. Everyone scrammed to wash their teeth before coming back to the lounge. You placed Mashur’s bowl in front of the dog and filled it with dog food. Mashur licked his lips. 

“Wait.”

Mashur waited. You left him wait in the kitchen while you went to brush your teeth. The Elites watched curiously what was happening. Mashur didn’t even budge. He just waited patiently though you weren’t in the same room anymore. You took your time before coming back. You stopped in front of your dog. Mashur stared at you for a moment.

You sighed, “To side.” Mashur moved to your right side right away and sat there. He never broke the eye contact with you. It was important for you to make sure Mashur could give 100% of his attention to you. He had to do it even if he was hungry or tired or angry or hurt. The Elites watched your dog baffled. 

“Good. Enjoy!” Mashur immediately attacked his food.

“Your control over Mashur is admirable!” Daichi smiled at you as he leaned against wall in the kitchen. 

Iwaizumi nodded in agreement, “It must have taken long time to train him. How old is he by the way?” 

“T-Thank you… but… um… I don’t know.”

Daichi and Iwaizumi blinked confused, before Daichi asked, “You don’t… know?”

Everybody observed the situation.

“Yeah… but I think Mashur is almost four years old.” You glanced at your dog who was already finishing his meal. “When I got Mashur, he already knew all the basic commands, such as follow, go and stay. I just taught him some other tricks and learned to control him with a whistle.” 

After Mashur finished, you took the bowl and started washing it. 

Akaashi watched Mashur and crunched down, and the dog moved towards him. Akaashi scratched him as he spoke, “So, he wasn’t yours from the being with?” It was rare for you to speak about your past. For once you seemed to be okay with it. Or you didn’t consider it as part of your past.

“Ah… yeah. He belonged to a foreigner soldier who had found Mashur when he was still a pup. I met them during…” 

The memories. The old damp crypt. Smell of blood and rotting flesh. Fever. Both of you had been hidden from your enemies by a gentle priest. Faint smell of incenses. Mashur had hated them. Your scar stung.

“...during a mission,” you lied. 

You rarely thought about the moment when you had met Mashur since it felt like he had always been there. Since the beginning. But now you remembered that that wasn’t the case. Mashur had been somebody else’s dog. 

Remembering it hurt little.

The Elites noticed that you had hesitated. You probably had lied, or not told the whole truth. Mashur sensed your uneasiness and walked to you as you dried the food bowl. The dog nuzzled against you – ‘ _I’m here, silly_ ’ he seemed to tell you. 

“So what happened?” Sugawara asked. Mashur’s tenderness towards you made him smile. It warmed his heart to see how close you two were. “How did he end up coming with you?”

You stared at the man baffled for a little. How could he smile that way? “Umm…that man passed away… A blood poisoning. A grenade had ripped off his arm and his wounds got horribly inflamed.” You stared at your dog and his sparkling eyes. After sighing you ruffled Mashur’s temple. “I’m not quite sure if it was me who got Mashur or was it Mashur who got me… but here we are.” 

Mashur woofed gently before moving towards your room. He glanced at you at some point if you were following him. Then he woofed again quietly. 

Daichi laughed, “Even I understood what that meant!” Everyone chuckled to his comment. Daichi left first towards his room, “Okay, let’s go to sleep! See you guys tomorrow!”

“Yeah, Good night!” Everyone called as they started to move towards their rooms. 

Suddenly Akaashi stopped and turned to see you and Mashur. You were just at your door.

“Hey…”, he said quietly. For a moment he thought that maybe you didn’t hear him but then you turned to see him. Akaashi felt that he lost his voice. “I… I’m glad that you and Mashur found each other. I think it’s wonderful.” It felt totally random thing to say… but Akaashi just felt that you needed to hear it right now. 

It sure made you feel warmer. You wanted to hear that. 

There was a small smile on your face as you thanked him.

Bokuto and Kuroo watched as Akaashi stepped in their shared room. He didn’t seem so composed what he usually did. 

“Oooi… what’s going on?” Bokuto asked suspiciously.

“Nothing”, Akaashi answered sedately as he shut the lights. From his bed he called, “Good night.” It seemed that Akaashi was acting normally after all so Bokuto and Kuroo dropped the idea of teasing him.

“Yeah, good night.” “Nights.” 

It didn’t take long for the duo to fall asleep. On the other hand, Akaashi found it impossible: his heart was pounding fast, his face and neck felt hot and there was a ticklish feeling inside him. When he closed his eyes all he could see was your smile, and every time he remembered it his heart went crazy all over again. 

Akaashi lifted his hand over his face. _Oh god, how am I supposed to stay composed after that…_

 

You were quite amazed about yourself too. Not had you only showed your abilities to the Elites and other during the CTF-2 training, but you had managed to tell a bit about your past too. Well… your and Mashur’s past. Even thought it had felt uncomfortable, you felt quite… okay about it.

There was long way to go… but for the first time in long time you felt like you could trust somebody.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Huge thanks to hypophrenia for betaing it! :)


	9. Runners in the night

You were working on a computer as Dr. Takeda recited equipment the clinic had a shortage of. You listed the items and needed amounts, and reminded the doctor if he was forgetting something. The progress was slow, and the day was nice so you felt a bit sad to spend it while sitting inside. Yet you couldn’t complain… you had promised to help the doctor. 

Your conscience was still stinging your heart; you had harmed the convict both physically and mentally and Takeda was still clueless about it. Even though it had happened about a month ago, you couldn’t leave Takeda troubled over his work alone. He was so innocent! He had even promised to compensate your hard work later! Dr. Takeda did that from time to time, so you couldn’t help but feel excited – once the doctor and you had visited the nearby village, Gezende without any particular reason. It had felt like a day-off.

When you were nearly finished with the list, an unexpected man disturbed your and Dr. Takeda’s working. Both of you turned to see the newcomer. 

Tsukishima stood at the open door but didn’t step in. His expression was sour and tired; he clearly didn’t want to be here.

“Tsukishima! What brings you here?” Takeda asked in a friendly to before scanning the man carefully. “You seem to feel unwell. Are you hurt?” 

Tsukishima sighed, troubled, “Of course not…” 

You raised an eyebrow. _Is he running away from practice again?_ It was Bokuto and Kuroo’s turn to hold the practices and Tsukishima hardly tolerated the duo; you knew he avoided them whenever it was possible. 

The blonde man gave you a tired look as a return before continuing, “I came to get (Surname). The Elites have an announcement to make and she needs to be in attendance.” 

“I s-see.” Takeda blinked a few times. The Elites rarely disturbed his work purposely. The doctor just shrugged his shoulders, “Well… it can’t be helped. (Surname)-san you should go since it sounds quite important. Come back later if you can. I’d really like to reward your help somehow!”

You just nodded and went with Tsukishima. It had been a while when anything interesting had happened in the base. The latest major training had been two weeks ago. There hadn’t been any missions which you could participate in either. The latest week had elapsed so slowly!

“Do you have any idea what is happening?” you asked Tsukishima as you walked towards the sports field. 

The tall male sighed, annoyed, and rubbed his neck. “I have an idea… but I wish this isn’t about it. It would be just too tiresome.” 

You waited for a moment to see if Tsukishima would explain about this idea of his. It seemed that the blonde was not going to tell you anything so you decided to stay quiet. You just hummed as an answer before stepping outside after him. The air was fresh and the sun warmed your skin. It felt good. Soon you saw every Elite standing in line in front of five people: Kageyama, Hinata, Yamaguchi, Ennoshita and Asahi. 

It felt little odd. _Why just them?_

After taking your position next to Kageyama, you saw Tsukishima walk to Kenma, Tanaka and Nishinoya. _The communication and technical teams…_ You got a feeling that this meeting was about some training – whatever was coming, you surely were observed since those four weren’t participating. 

Daichi took a step forward, turning everyone’s attention on him. He glanced at everyone before starting:

“You are probably wondering why you are standing there. We have observed the six of you carefully and come into a conclusion that all of you are capable to move forward in your training… towards the tittle of the Elite. That’s why you will be taking part in a training called ‘ _runaway_ ’.” 

Kageyama and Hinata’s eyes gleamed in determination while Yamaguchi just gulped. You heard Asahi and Ennoshita sigh hard, and you could swear that you saw pieces of their souls escape with the sighs. Something _died_ in them. You furrowed, _that didn’t seem too good._ They apparently knew what was coming and they didn’t like it. 

The Elites just smiled amused. Daichi explained everything.

‘Runaway’ meant a manhunt and you, who had been summoned, would be the runaways. The Elites would work as a team to find each one of you wherever you were hiding. They were using rubber bullets which really hurt but never caused severe damage. They had all of the base’s technology in their use… and you got basically a small starting pack with small amount of money and some equipment of your choosing. The training was important though: it taught the escapees how to survive and how to avoid getting captured while the Elites learned to catch unique individuals. The goal was to develop as a soldier. To learn. 

Still the pressure would be high on the both sides. You felt it already… and it didn’t feel good.

“- - the time prepared to finish this performance is two weeks. The longer you will survive, the better score you will get, and with points you will get closer to the tittle. Your wristwatches will tell you when the time is up… if you survive that long. So far, only Akaashi has managed to survive the whole two weeks! There’s only one rule: you must remain inside the borders of Arylean. We don’t encourage you to hide in the known enemy activity areas either.”

You didn’t feel good at all.

Daichi nodded at Kenma. A bit reluctantly, the man walked towards you and gave everyone a starter pack and a bracelet. Meanwhile Daichi explained, “That bracelet is your mission. There’s one chip inside of every bracelet, and those chips contain very important information about our strategies. You need to protect that information… because we will surely come after them.”

You felt ill when you stared at the bracelet in your hand. It looked simple but it had a thicker part where the chip was hidden. _They will come after it._ Your nightmares were waking up in the middle of the day. The sun seemed to dim, or shadows just got darker. Shadows. It was hard to breath. You felt those shadows behind you. Their presence. They wanted to rip you a part. 

Suffocate you. 

_“…they are coming after you,”_ A familiar voice whispered in your memories. 

The shadows were joying. 

A sweat drop ran down your temple as you gulped. It felt as if a thousand ants ran under your skin. You looked at the Elites in front of you as you tried to focus on your breathing. Abruptly, they made you feel even more threated. They seemed cold and emotionless, completely strangers. Unfamiliar. Did you even know these men? You had hard time to swallow. You were gripping your scar again. 

Somehow each one of them reminded you from _him_. His bright eyes had turned so cold so quickly. Dark. His sweet smile had turned grim. _Who are you?_ you found yourself thinking as you glanced the men in black in front of you.

_Who are you?_

“Do you have any questions?” Daichi finally asked. He glanced at everybody but nobody said anything. You wanted to decline. You wanted to stop it before it could even start. But how could you? You needed those points for the title of the Elite. 

_Wait_ , you thought, shocked, _why do I want to be an Elite?_ When had you decided that? Had you decided that? 

Before you could figure it out, Daichi continued, “Well if some questions come up, please turn to me or other Elites. Your preparation time will start now! The hunt starts the day after tomorrow at twelve. Good luck everyone!”

Hinata and Kageyama turned at each other excited while Yamaguchi, Ennoshita and Asahi felt genuinely troubled. Asahi and Ennoshita had failed the test more than once. Yamaguchi didn’t even believe he could do it. The odd duo ran to make preparations for the coming. Asahi whined that he didn’t even want to be an Elite and still everyone forced him to try and try again. Sugawara mocked him openly. It didn’t take long for other to join the mocking.

Only you couldn’t hear them, white noise filled your ears. 

You stared at the bracelet as your nightmares whispered in your ears reminders of your past. _“You will be alone there."_ You remembered the smell of gunpowder and blood. You heard echo of their steps as they ran behind you. Gunshots. Shouts. _I need to calm down..._ you thought, stressed, _it’s just a test. Just a test._

Suddenly Oikawa leaned on you and looked over your shoulder at the bracelet. “Eeh… they’ve upgraded it again!” 

Your heart stopped. With quick movements, you turned and shoved the man away harshly. Your heart was beating uncontrollably, _I didn’t hear him!_ The panic was visible in your eyes – your (e/c) orbs wavered in fear, and your eyes were wide open. You seemed to want to flee.

Oikawa stared at you, alerted. Others Elites had noticed your sudden movements too. Oikawa took a step at you as he spoke, “O-oi, (Name)-chan, calm down! The game hasn’t even started y - -”

“Don’t touch me,” you hissed, your voice was weak but venomous. You took a step back. Oikawa stopped, confused. 

_“…they are coming after you.”_

“S-sorry! But hey what’s going on?”

You just bit your lips sealed. It was hard to breath. Sugawara walked closer to you but stopped when you glanced at him, alerted. “(Name)… There is no need to be afraid - -”

“I know!” _But you’re terrifying me so much right now._ Your scars stung. They hurt so much. “I… know.” There was no way you could calm down here. They were watching. 

_“The enemy know, (Name)…”_

You swallowed hard before walking away. You needed to go. They wouldn’t understand, and you wouldn’t explain. There was no reason for you to stay in the base anymore. You wanted to leave. To run. Hide. You felt so vulnerable.

You rushed to your room and tried to think what you needed besides the pack you were given. Everything felt like a mess: it was hard to think and when you finally knew what you needed it was nowhere to be found. Your organized room had turned chaotic. Stressing. You had to command Mashur to his bed. He was hindering you. 

Panic was building in you. It was spilling over.

A sudden knocking startled you: your heartbeat picked up its pace and your body trembled. It felt like your knees were giving in so you needed to take support from a wall. You could hear Akaashi’s gentle voice through the door: 

“(Surname)-san, is everything alright?”

_Oh god… why am I like this!?_ You took a deep breath, I need to calm down. You took another deep breath as you sat down on your bed, next to the small rucksack you had been furiously packing. You cleared your voice before speaking. 

“I’m fine. What’s up?” Did you normally even speak that way? Was it odd?

Akaashi listened if you were going to open the door. You weren’t. Akaashi knew he needed to proceed gently, “I was thinking if you would like to spend time with us before the meal at the workshop. The technical team promised to offer coffee for everyone.”

You sighed, stressed. A small part of you wanted to go and forget this madness. Unfortunately, this madness was only about to begin and every cell in your body were aware of it. You couldn’t go. You just didn’t feel safe. 

“I’ll pass… thank you for asking.” 

Even silence felt pressuring. Suffocating. Akaashi was still standing behind your door, you knew. 

He leaned against your door and sighed. “(Name)-san, I know you are not feeling okay and I understand it. It feels terrifying to be chased but… but it’s still just us. We would never hurt you.”

_I want to believe it_ , you thought sadly, _but I have made that mistake once already._ One man had hurt you already. His beautiful eyes had turned so grim. He was not supposed to never hurt you either.

Akaashi’s heart dropped little when you didn’t answer anything. He pressed his forehead against your door gently. “Take your time. See you at the canteen.” His voice sounded so weak. Sad. Soon Akaashi walked away. The hallway quieted.

You bit your lip in frustration, before continuing your packing. Soon you had everything prepared: bandages, some medicine, a toothbrush, a couple of shirts and other clothes, some toiletry, money, and some other equipment such as a rope, a pocket knife, matches and so on. _Something is missing_ , you thought as you stared the items. Mashur whined quietly, he didn’t like your uneasiness. You stared at the dog before realizing what was missing. 

“The dog food.” There was no way you would leave without Mashur. Not after everything that had happened to you in the past. You really needed him. He was only thing that made sense right now.

Soon you were quite satisfied to your packings. If you had a lack of something you could just buy it with cash. It wouldn’t leave a trace.

_Trace_ , you thought troubled. You turned over your t-shirts collar and stared at a chip you had attached in your shirt some time ago. It was probably telling the communication team your location even now. You removed the chip and held it on your palm, _should I leave it or take it with me?_

Your decision making came to a halt when Mashur begged to get outside at the door.  
Right after leaving your room you started to feel uncomfortable all over again. You wished that you wouldn’t meet anyone. It felt an impossible wish to be granted; you were in the middle of a busy army base after all.

Mashur took longer than usually or the time was moving slowly. You were tearing your fingernails anxiously. The day didn’t feel as pretty as it had felt in the morning. Sky felt too high and sun too bright… shadows too dark and air too cold. You didn’t want to be outside anymore. 

_I need to hide_. It felt like a stupid thought but you couldn’t get rid of it. _I need to hide quickly._

While waiting for Mashur, you noticed someone walk past the windows in the hallway. The person seemed to notice you too since he stopped and walked back his tracks to the backdoor, and stepped outside. You glanced over your shoulder, tensed. Daichi noticed straight away that you felt alerted. He smiled little before stopping about two meters away from you and leaned against the wall next to you, facing the same direction. 

He said nothing or did nothing. You felt pressure, awkwardness. 

After a while Daichi sighed, “So… what are we staring at?” 

He obviously tried to make you feel better. Maybe he did in some level of your consciousness but you didn’t change the fact that you wanted to hide.

“Nothing particular…” 

Soon Mashur appeared from the bushes and galloped to you. He sat between you and Daichi without an order. The dog knew who was disturbing who.

Daichi chuckled before crunching down to pet Mashur. “Are you taking him with you?” 

You gulped. Daichi’s comment just fortified the fact that everything was real. The training was really going to happen. Soon you would really need to run away from him. To vanish and stay hidden. From them. 

“If it’s…” your voice suddenly died out. Quickly you cleared your throat and continued, “If it’s allowed, then yes.” The captain didn’t even glance at you. He just kept scratching Mashur as he answered.

“Of course, it is. You are a team, after all.” You were getting stressed all over again. The bracelet around your wrist felt heavy and you grew more and more conscious about its weight. “Akaashi and Oikawa are really worried about you.”

You gritted your teeth and looked away. You felt pathetic for losing your calm because of a simple training. Daichi glanced at you a bit worried.

“If you have any questions, just ask them. We are allowed to guide you in need.” 

You bit your lower lip but didn’t budge. You were completely shutting the captain out of your vision. Trembles went through your body. His presence was stressing you. Daichi could feel your discomfort, _I can’t help her if she pushes me away…_ He sighed and ruffled Mashur’s head one last time before getting up. 

“The meal is soon. Don’t skip it.”

Daichi moved towards the back door.

Chills.

“What if you don’t find me?” you suddenly asked.

The question had troubled you since you had started to pack. It terrified you. What if they stopped looking for you? The nightmares from your past were hunting you. What if you wouldn’t be found? You didn’t want to be chased ever again, you were tired to run away. Something in you wanted to be found right now. Right now.

Daichi glanced at you before facing the door again.

“Well, usually if we don’t manage to capture someone in time the person is allowed to have a four-day vacation after the test. If you fail to return even after that, there will be a real manhunt with cooperation of other bases…” His explanation hurt your feelings. _He doesn’t understand_ , you though futilely. Meanwhile Daichi chuckled little as he continued, “Just don’t underestimate us (Name), it is our reputation on the line so we will not - -” 

Daichi turned around to face you again, but he lost his words instead. The spot where you had stood was empty. You had vanished. Mashur was also gone.

_I didn’t even hear their leaving…_

Only wind whispered in the trees.

* * *

Dr. Takeda was still at his room in the clinic. Finishing the list had been much harder to do alone than he had expected. But he had finally done everything needed for today. He had missed the meal time so he just grabbed a chocolate bar. He would survive till the supper with it. Takeda stretched his back after rising up, every joint in his body felt stiff.  
Suddenly you dashed inside his room.

Without warning. 

“(S-Surname)!” Takeda shouted, startled, you had totally taken him off guard. He hardly recognized you since you were hiding under a black hoodie and scarf which were hiding you face quite brilliantly. “Oh god… Y-you almost gave me a heart attack!” Mashur followed you but stopped at the door.

“Doctor… could you do me a favor?” you asked while you revealed your furrowing expression. You seemed desperate, maybe even sad. Takeda found this troubling. He hadn’t seen you like this before. Something was different.

“Of c-course! Has something happened? (Name)-san, why do you look so upset?” 

Dr. Takeda walked to you and watched your grim expression genuinely worried. You bit your lip before telling about the meeting with the Elites and about the coming training. Dr. Takeda listened patiently before nodding.

“So it is time for this once again.” He thought about it a moment before nodding again, “I will help you… but what could I do for you?” 

You walked to the door and told Mashur to wait. After shutting the door you turned at Takeda – there was a solemn gleam in your somehow dimmer (e/c) eyes. Whatever it was in your mind it surely wouldn’t be a joking matter. Something in you seemed lifeless.

Dead serious.

“Help me out of here.” Your voice had turned emotionless and cold. “Help me vanish.”

* * *

* * *

The clock was ticking in the lounge. Oikawa and Iwaizumi were slurping their coffees as they read comics together at the kitchen table. Bokuto was laying on the couch like he would own the half of the furniture himself, while Daichi and Sugawara sat on the other half peacefully. They were watching news of (country), once again projected from the computer. They were quite interested what was happening in their homeland. Meanwhile, Akaashi was reading the local news on an armchair. Pages were turning, the reporters were joking, the air conditioner was blowing… 

There was much happening around Kuroo but still he could only hear the ticking of the clock. He was leaning against the back rest of the couch, he glanced the clock all the while. _11:49 AM… wasn’t it same five minutes ago?_

He sighed, annoyed. 

Daichi sighed louder right after him and turned at the man, “If the clock is troubling you so much, we can take it down.” Kuroo just faked to be amused. Daichi snorted little. “Stay patient! We will act immediately when the time comes.” 

Ten minutes and the training would officially start. Mere minutes and the Elites could finally start looking for you… and the others of course.

“We should have acted sooner,” Kuroo complained. Oikawa shouted out his agreement from the kitchen. A chance of complaining never slipped from him after all.

The captain sighed again, genuinely troubled this time, “We are not allowed to check her or anyone’s location during the preparation time.” 

Sugawara agreed and turned to Kuroo. “They must have a head start, you know it! (Name) just decided to head out immediately. I personally find that a smart choice!”

Iwaizumi agreed, “The sooner you leave, the further you get. Plus, she has more time to get accustomed to the idea that we are looking for her. She has time to anticipate our doings.”

“They got a point, bro,” Bokuto said while chancing his position on the couch. “Of course it’s a bit annoying that she left without saying but this is training. We can’t tell her what to do.”

Kuroo glanced at his friend. They all were right but… were you really okay? 

“Aren’t you worried about her acting at all? (Name) was clearly terrified about us… as if we would really beat her up or something!” 

Everyone quieted. The way you had pushed Oikawa away and how you had avoided them after that had surely left bad taste to their mouths. The Elites sank into their thoughts for a moment. 

“She even mentioned how someone, who was close to her, had tried to kill her! And here we are, ready to hunt her down! Doesn’t this make just a great prequel for her? Am I the only one who is - - ”

_***peep peep peep*** _

Their wristwatches peeped at the same time. _12:00PM._

The game was on.

Daichi got up and shut the computer, “Okay let’s start! Kuroo contact the communication team and tell them to check their chips locations. Let’s see who has done the beginner’s mistake. Let’s head towards the center.” 

Just like that they stopped worrying. The Elites stopped whatever they had been doing and headed towards the communication center. They were finally allowed to do everything to get you back home as soon as possible.

When they arrived to the center Kenma and Tsukishima were already typing at full: every screen in the room were in use in some way. Kenma was monitoring as the system was pinpointing the chips locations – the 28 percent of the area of the country had been already scanned. 

Meanwhile Tsukishima looked through the material of the base’s security cameras. Two huge screens had been split in smaller sections, one for every camera in the base. Daichi walked to Tsukishima straight away.

“Have you found anybody yet?” 

The video materials were playing in higher speed on the screens.  
“So far no one. The system has picked up their faces a couple of times but in the wrong cameras, such as canteen.” The screens started to turn darker before the night vision turned on. Only then one of the screens slowed down and started to blink slightly. “Seems like we got our first one.”

Asahi was sneaking in the hallway, making his way towards the garages. When he finally reached the garage, he used his own keys to start the technical team’s motorcycle and drove off. 

Sugawara smirked. “He left early so he could hide his ride more efficiently. Not too bad. Last time he hesitated and we just followed his tire marks until we reached him.” 

The new day came in the videos. “So this is from yesterday,” Daichi muttered as he observed the screens. One of them blinked. 

“We got another one,” Tsukishima called. “Actually, two of them…”

Kageyama and Hinata had decided to cooperate. It was early morning. They ran to the garages and met Matsukawa and Hanamaki there. At first the drivers seemed to decline to take them anywhere but as the duo got on their knees and pleaded, they had to give in. It didn’t take long for Yamaguchi appear there too.

“Did all three of them go with the same ride?” Iwaizumi asked. He sounded disappointed.

Meanwhile Kenma had taken a look of the drivers’ schedules for that day. “Both of the riders had multiple transporting missions: Hanamaki headed all the way to Todomosco while Matsukawa went to Chitac and back,” Kenma spoke quietly and made no eye contact. Still there was excited gleam in his eyes. 

Kuroo smiled. “In other words, to the different ways…”

Tsukishima speeded up the videos before stopping them again. Hinata and Kageyama clearly left with Hanamaki while Yamaguchi went with Matsukawa. “We know at least which direction they headed. But they can just jump off whenever they want or - -”

One of the screens blinked again. Ennoshita made his way to the main building before heading out with two people. Daichi squinted his eyes, “Who are they?” 

Everyone moved closer the screen while Tsukishima zoomed in. One of the men had short spiky, light brown colored hair while the other one had a dark shaved head. After staring a while Sugawara shouted out loud in surprise, “Oah! They are Narita and Kinoshita!!”

Daichi’s eyes widened. “What in..?! It’s really them! Whoa! I haven’t heard about them for such a long time! Narita has shaved his hair?!”

Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Bokuto and Akaashi stared at the men confused. 

“Some old friends of yours?” Bokuto asked while raising an eyebrow. 

Before Sugawara or Daichi could explain, Kenma spoke,

“Narita Kazuhito and Kinoshita Hisashi, started their service in Crow’s Nest about five years ago before taking part in a flight training in Rosbelian. They remained in the capital after the training.” He sounded unimpressed but the rarely showed any emotions. He typed something before continuing, “They serve at the Headquarters as helicopter pilots, and it seems they bought some packages here and left.”

Daichi smiled. “Ennoshita always supported those two. I guess this is their return gift for him.”

“Is it known where they headed after leaving Crow’s Nest?” Sugawara asked a small smile on his lips. It wasn’t an angelic one. Kenma felt pressure in it which made him a bit nervous. 

“I-it’s not specified.” 

Akaashi took a step forward, “Since they are working for the Headquarters, they can land to every army base’s airport. They need a permission and valid reason for their landing to the public airports.” There was a huge map of Arylean behind a glass on the wall which allowed Akaashi to draw on it. As he spoke he circled the bases where the pilots could have landed, except one. “Nowadays pilots cannot fly to the base of Serpents without scheduling since the enemy activity has increased in the area. I don’t believe they would ever take the risk of flying Ennoshita-san there. This leaves only Eagle Garden, Ironwall, Night Hunter, and Dames available.” 

Kenma thought for a moment before turning back at his screen. He typed before nodding little. “I will ask every base their permission to check the security cameras of their airports. If that doesn’t give us anything, I’ll hack into every public airports’ network and check their cameras.” 

Kuroo and Bokuto rushed to ruffle Kenma’s half-blonde hair, “That’s the spirit!” Kenma just hissed and pushed them away before continuing. Only eighteen percent left, and the whole country would be scanned.

“Where is (Name)-chan then?” Oikawa asked without taking his eyes of the screens. The day was already ending on the videos. The night vision turned on once again. “She wouldn’t have waited this long.” 

Iwaizumi took a step forward. His voice was deep and he sounded like a perfect soldier as he spoke, “We have reasons to believe that (Surname) left the base right after our meeting. The last one who saw her seems to be Sawamura, they had been in the backyard of the barracks before she vanished.” 

Tsukishima furrowed annoyed, “The system didn’t pick up her face at any point after the meal at least.” He removed everybody else’s profiles from the system and rewound the videos until one of the screes found you. The Elites came instantly closer. They wanted to see you. The men’s interest in you made Tsukishima feel a bit icky. “Let’s see what she was up to.”

On the tape you just stepped out of your room with Mashur and a small backpack with you. You pulled the hood of black hoodie on and hid your face with a scarf. Your eyes seemed dim. Mashur walked next to you, stressed, glancing at you all the while. You were about to walk ahead through the hallway but suddenly stopped and glanced at the security camera. Quickly you took a step back and went outside. Soon you vanished behind a corner of the barracks.

You had clearly avoided the camera. Tsukishima got confused. He typed the keyboard quickly but couldn’t find you. None of the security cameras were picking you up… none of them showed where you were going. The Elites got troubled. 

Kuroo walked to Tsukishima, “What’s the matter, Tsukki? Where’s she?” 

Tsukishima clicked his teeth as he typed furiously. 

“She can’t just… vanish. (Surname) probably hid her face so the system cannot identify her… but that doesn’t mean she could just become invisible.” He opened a blueprints of the Crow’s Nest on one screen and highlighted the security cameras and their viewing areas. He had no idea where you had headed but Tsukishima knew which way you had went. Soon he had to cursed disappointed, “Shit, she went towards the dead space. Over in that area the most of the cameras are pointing to the other direction and from there she could change her direction to anywhere. The nearby forest will give her cover.”

The Elites felt chills. They thought the same thing but it was Bokuto who spoke first.

“Are you saying that (Name) knew about that dead space?” 

Could you really be that careful? Was it just a chance? This was the first time for the Elites even hear that there’s a dead space in that area. How would you have known?

Tsukishima leaned his chin against his palm as he observed the blueprints, he calculated all possibilities. After a while he sighed annoyed look on his face, “I don’t find any other reason for her to go there. She must know about the dead space. She looks determined which mean (Surname) knows where she’s going. She has a goal.”

The Elites’ gulped, _she knew about it?_

“How should we proceed then?” Daichi asked. He could still remember how you had just vanished in the middle of his speech. The last expression he had seen on your beautiful face had been insecurity. 

Tsukishima sighed. Things were really getting troublesome. “I can only look every video through one by one and identify her myself.” 

“Good. I will make sure you get all the support you need,” Daichi said determined.

“Sir, the scanning is completed,” Kenma called as he rolled with his office chair to the next desktop. Daichi nodded and so Kenma projected the results on the main screen. The map of Arylean opened in front of everyone. There was only five visible red dots on the screen. Three were in the base, one in Valirian, and one was in the middle of nowhere, in the wasteland between Gezende and the Sweet Sea. 

“Only five?” Kuroo said baffled. “There was six of them.” 

Sugawara nodded troubled. “Let’s check them out.”

Kenma typed something and names appeared above the dots. Ennoshita, Kageyama and Yamaguchi’s chips were in the base and since they had clearly left the base, leaving those chips behind was meant to happen. They couldn’t be located easily. 

Meanwhile… 

“Is Chibi-chan seriously that stupid..?” Oikawa asked in amused disbelief and Tsukishima agreed by snorting. Hinata was actually wearing his chip. The Elites needed just to go pick him up. 

Sugawara sighed disappointed. “Asahi probably remembered the chip while riding… Why would he leave it in the middle of nowhere otherwise?” Daichi could imagine that goofball panicking in the middle of rocky wasteland. A quite amusing image.

“So it’s (Surname)’s chip that is missing,” Kuroo stated, troubled. Somehow it didn’t surprise him anymore.

Tsukishima nodded, “The chip will shut itself down if it gets in touch with water or if you break it.” 

Nobody believed that you could be so cruel to break it. Or would you? They suggested that maybe you had purposely wet it or it had accidently got touch with water. They had no idea, why you would do it purposely but you had always been unexpectable.

“I’ll check if I can find out when her chip shut down. Usually it leave some trace,” Kenma said as he started typing again.

“It could also show where she headed since the chip works about 30 seconds before shutting,” Tsukishima confirmed, Kenma nodded at him. The Elites felt so proud of their little geeks. 

Daichi turned to his team, “We know where Hinata is, so I think we should pick him up before he realizes how badly he has messed up. Oikawa and Iwaizumi, go interrogate Matsukawa and Hanamaki and make them tell where they dropped Yamaguchi and Kageyama. Kuroo, go check (Surname)’s walking path and try to figure out where she would be heading and how she avoided to be seen. The rest of us will start planning our strategies.”

“Roger!”

* * *

* * *

The second day of the runaway training was finally turning into evening. The weather was warm but wind was hardly blowing which made air quite heavy, almost musty. Still, the city of Alejai remained as busy as ever: children had just earned their freedom from schools, people rushed to get ingredients and food for the evening, and some people were just finishing their work. The smell of food drifted to the street from open windows. Spices. Flowers bloomed. People laughed and chatted. The atmosphere was happy and lively, and people who walked past seemed content and happy.

Meanwhile, you were absorbed in surviving. You needed to stay unnoticed, to be sure that you had a head start against anyone or anything. Especially against them. All the time. It had absorbed you thinking; it kept you going, it kept you on the edge. The world around you had turned colorless and threatening. Your dim (e/c) scanned the surroundings all the while: how people moved and where they had turned their focus, you looked for familiar faces and threatening movements, you listened conversations as you moved by… every abnormality alerted you. Every ill-mannered smile, every glance they gave you, every fast movement towards you… Did they stare you too long? Did they whisper about you? Was somebody following you?

You were wearing a shaggy, army green jacket with a black shirt and pants. The jacket’s long tail reached to your calves and rustled quietly as you walked. Even though the jacket was supposed to be light, the warm weather made you feel uncomfortable in it. You had found courage to open your jacket but you didn’t dare to take it off. Someone might see you… they might recognize you. The hood hid half of your face leaving only tip of your nose and mouth visible. There was no emotion in you – you felt rather cold and empty. 

You needed to survive.

They were looking for you.

You looked for a place to hide or a way to escape all the time. You felt like a rabbit moving in a thick forest; you needed to know where to go if a predator appeared. All the possibilities ran through your mind as you made your way towards the market square of the city. 

Even though forest surrounded the city, it was mostly build from yellow sand stone, as were many other cities in the country. The red roofs of the buildings somehow reminded you of Mediterranean cities though something was totally different. There were small parks to remind people that the area had been a part of the surrounding forest long time ago. The Nymph River made sure that the soil stayed fertile in the city. Food was cheap but high-quality.

Since your appetite had finally returned, you needed to find food.

Mashur made his way towards the market about ten meters ahead of you. The dog dodged walkers and small vehicles lazily, zigzagged without problems while his tongue hanged long. You held the dog whistle between your lips on the corner of your mouth as you guided Mashur with small whistles. 

The market square was packed. There was a huge fountain area in the middle of the square and all the available space around it was in use. Sellers shouted out their offers and items they were selling while people chatted and laughed. Stray dogs barked somewhere. The air was full of smells of different spices, and street foods, and noises. You ordered Mashur go ahead as you went to look for food. Children ran past you and you bumped in many people, but somehow you felt safe. It would be hard to spot you from there. 

After buying some fruits and grilled meat, you made your way to the center of the market square. Mashur was already drinking the water from the huge fountain. There were other dogs at the fountain but Mashur paid no attention in them. You sat down on the edge of the fountain. Some small children were having fun in the fountain with their parents. They laughed happily. 

You shared a portion of the grilled meat with Mashur. He would get his dog food in the evening. You kept your eyes on people in front of you and looked around the area. Nobody seemed to pay attention on you, which made you calm down a little. Just a little.

Some bigger children in a trio waded past you in the fountain, water splashed as they made their way through. You glanced at them but they hadn’t even noticed you. They were shouting and bickering about something fervently. 

“/ _You are lying!_ /” “/ _No! I don’t lie! You must believe me I saw them!_ / ” “/ _Yeah right!_ /”

One of the boys splatted water at the one who wasn’t believing him before continuing, “/ _They had pitch black clothes and super cool stuff on! They had even guns! I saw them!_ /”

You froze. 

A small boy who seemed to be the quietest finally shouted in admiration. 

“/ _Waaah!! So cool!_ / “

“/ _He’s lying, Banh! He hasn’t - -_ /” 

“/ _I’m not lying!!_ / “

The biggest boy stopped and crossed his arms on his chest. “/ _Prove it! Show us where they are!_ /” 

“/ _Fine! Follow me!_ /” The boy, who was sure that he had seen some mystical pitch black creatures, waded his way quickly out of the fountain and waved the others to follow him. The boys ran after him.

Suddenly you didn’t feel like eating anymore. You stared at the boys, frozen, as realization hit you, _they are here_. 

They were looking for you. 

Quickly you turned to Mashur, “Away. Keep distance. Go!” 

Mashur jumped up and ran away. Soon the dog vanished in the large crowd of people. The Elites knew Mashur was with you so it was important to make sure there’s distance between you. 

The boys were running towards a busy market street. You had to decide if you hid or determined your chasers’ plans. _I should have left this city immediately when I got here_ , you thought as stress was building in you. Takeda had surely told the Elites that you he had dropped you in Alejai. You should have left.

You followed the boys with your eyes. Soon they would vanish from your sight. After taking a deep breath you got up, and went after the boys. Knowing your chasers intentions was a priority. If they had no clue about you and your whereabouts or if they were looking for someone else, you could stay and hide in Alejai. On the other hand, if they did everything to find you, it was safer for you to leave the city as soon as possible.

The kids moved quickly but you couldn’t match their pace. It might get someone’s attention. Luckily the boys were quite loud. It wasn’t hard to hear where they were even though you hardly saw them. The boys bumped in many people and even did some shenanigans to the passersby as they moved by: they lifted ladies’ hems, pinched, spooked… many got angry but the boys just laughed and ran away. 

At some point, they bumped in a police with huge whiskers and got caught in action. The police man scolded them quite harshly and their childish confidence wore off in a snap of fingers. Still the police soon softened and patted their heads in turns and waved them to leave. You walked past the police and avoided to bump into him. He glanced at you and you forced yourself to smile at him kindly. If you just glared at him, he could have gotten wrong ideas of you. The man blinked and nodded back at you before continuing his patrol.

The leading kid laughed excited and pointed ahead, “/ _There! Look! I told you!_ /” 

The boys looked in awe to the pointed direction, “/ _It’s really them!_ /” “/ _Cooool!!_ /”

In the meantime, you made you way to the left to an empty alley. You peeked around the corner at the direction the boy pointed. The children jumped up and down while pushing each other in excitement. Concurrently you felt anxiety grow and grow inside you though you didn’t show it.

It was really them… you saw men in black military gears. The Crows, as locals called them. There was three of them in front of a building: Iwaizumi scanned the area while Akaashi and Daichi spoke to an old man. You spied them from your safe hiding place. In the windows of the opposite building you could see a reflection which read ‘Police Station’ in Velarian. 

You furrowed, _are they asking immediately Alejai’s police forces to help them?_

It wasn’t good. Not at all. Soon you saw Daichi smile and shook the police man’s hand. The Elites changed a couple of words before Akaashi and Iwaizumi separated to different directions while Daichi remained on the market street. Soon he started to walk towards the market square, towards you. He fixed the position of his rifle on his back as he moved. 

You hid yourself. They had clearly just started to look for you and the start was the worst possible for you. Every policeman would soon be aware of you. There wasn’t just three men looking for you. The number was soon closer to 500 men. No good. 

_I need to get out of here before they see my picture_ , you thought frustrated. Soon everyone in the city would know how you looked. You needed to focus on security cameras of the city already. Pressure was growing in you. Knowing that your chances to get out of the city were running thinner the longer you waited, made ideas flood in your mind. 

You couldn’t just leave the city, _I don’t know where the other Elites are_. The police might already know how you looked. You needed information.

Sawamura was closing you while the policeman with whiskers wandered on the same street. That policeman could still remember you, and you were sure that Sawamura would chat with him. After that things would get out of hand fast. You would lose your head start in a blink of an eye. Suddenly you noticed the three boys approach Daichi as admiration twinkled in their starry eyes. The captain smiled to them which made the boys fuss around him even more. He seemed relaxed. 

An idea.

You glanced at the police and then back at Daichi, whose attention was on the boys. As a group of women walked past the alley you were hiding, you matched your walking pace with them and left the alley. This way your movement wasn’t unexpected, but a part of the ongoing movement. Like a lion moving in grass to the same direction where wind was bending the canes. You blended in. Daichi didn’t notice your appearing from the alley. Soon he left the kids and continued his mission.

Little did he know that you were walking right in front of him, about nine meters ahead. Your heart was bounding in leaps since you knew that Sawamura was right behind you. But the best way to vanish is to blend in to your surroundings. It was nerve-wracking but familiar to you. You were just too brilliant in lying and hiding. You moved confidently. 

The police man with whiskers was wandering around on the street while listening citizens’ troubles. It was time to be remembered. You acted like you were looking for something from your pocket and “accidently” bumped gently into the police. He immediately turned to see you. He felt chills as your cold eyes glanced up at him. 

“I apologize. I didn’t mean it,” you said quietly before continuing your way. By now the police would be aware of that you were a foreigner. 

The police man watched you go confused: he had seen you earlier, hadn’t he? He saw you slip between two buildings where he knew was only a maze of narrow alleys. Before he could decide his opinion on you, the police man felt determined tapping on his shoulder. When he turned around there was a Crow. A high skilled soldier. He almost freaked out, but the Crow stopped him by showing his ID card. The Crow didn’t speak Velarian well but the police understood that the soldier was looking for someone. It was quite rare since Alejai was one of the calmest and safest cities in the country. Blood Brothers never dared to come this close to the Capital to cause problems. There was never conflicts that needed any base’s actions. 

The Crow showed the police a picture. He stared at it eyes wide open: the girl in the picture was beautiful with (h/l) (h/c) hair and bright (e/c) eyes.

It was you, the police was sure of it but he still hesitated. He hadn’t seen your hair and your eyes seemed to be so different. He couldn’t be sure of the color: your dim cold eyes had only resembled the eye color in the picture. The police brushed his whiskers with his thumb before nodding unsurely. He pointed at the gap between the buildings where he had seen you go. 

Daichi noticed that the man was very unsure. Still he thanked the man and went to the pointed direction. 

“Some police man had probably seen her here but he couldn’t be sure of it. I will check the area,” Daichi talked to his walkie-talkie. Since the communication team had remained in the base everyone had to use walkie-talkies to get contact on others in the same area. They also could listen local police channels, though Akaashi was only one who understood Velarian.

It had taken long time for Tsukishima to finally find you from the base’s cameras. You had moved brilliantly to avoid getting noticed: you had always walked behind someone or moved when someone else was closer the cameras. Kenma had abled to get information from your chip. You had moved past the dead zone, towards canteen and clinic, Kuroo had confirmed that it was possible to move to there without being seen and soon Tsukishima had found you through clinic’s cameras. They hadn’t seen how you had left the building but it was quite obvious who helped you out. After interrogations Dr. Takeda has admitted that he had driven you to Alejai. He had never told where he had left you… but at least they knew where to start.

Daichi’s walkie-talkie buzzed. “[ _Copy that. I’m moving in the market square,_ ]” Akaashi called, there was much noise around him. He had to be close to the center of the city. The machine buzzed again.

“[ _I'll go around,_ ]” Iwaizumi said. The starting plan was to ask as many people if they had seen you and cause pressure. They believed that you would move during rush hours, and the presumption was that you were in the market square or close to it. They just needed to force you to move. The evening was already falling.

The communication team contacted Daichi’s headset. Tsukishima’s voice was clear but tired, “[ _Alejai’s cameras haven’t spotted her but I have seen Mashur a couple of times by chance. They move separately. We have come up with new strategy… contact Iwaizumi when you are done._ ]”

“Roger,” Daichi said calmly as he stepped onto a narrow alley. 

He armed himself with pistol just to be on the safe side. There was back doors to the buildings but each of them were locked. The alley divided, on the left was just garbage and dead end but on the right the alley continued. Something told Daichi to press on. He turned to right. Soon the alley divided again. Instead of continuing forward he turned left, the alley was shadowy. Only a cat meowed somewhere. 

Daichi sighed as he lowered his gun, _if she was here she is long gone…_

But as he was about to leave, he felt chills. Alerted. A shadow moved above him but before he could aim at it something fell on him. You hit Daichi hard, making the man fall down on the ground. He grunted loudly as you landed on him. The pistol flew from his hand. Before Daichi could recover you pressed a blade on his throat… and it wasn’t just a rubber blade. You pressed his headset’s microphone with cloth, sealing it. No one would hear him even if he shouted. You knew that walkie-talkie would work only if one certain button was pressed, and, well… Daichi was a little too busy to press it right now. 

You were sitting on his chest, pressing his left arm with your right leg while pressing his other hand your left thigh against the ground. 

“Don’t move.” 

Your eyes shined fatality which made Daichi shudder. He couldn’t bring his eyes from yours. Were you the same person? What at happened to the insecurity he remembered seen in you? Something in your appearance hurt his heart. Suddenly the headset buzzed. You clearly heard it too since Daichi could feel your body stiffen on him for a moment and your head turned a bit.

Tsukishima spoke, “[ _We just saw your microphone’s spectral line jump up unexpectedly. I just wanted to check that you have everything okay._ ]”

You clearly gritted your teeth. “Think wisely,” you whispered. 

Carefully you moved your hand from the microphone of the headset and removed the cloth. Daichi stared at you and gulped, he felt the sharp edge of the blade on his throat. You seemed so serious that he couldn’t be sure if the situation was real or not. Would you really slice his throat open if he shouted for help? 

_Would you do it?_

The headset buzzed again, “[ _Captain? Do you hear me? Tell me your situation._ ]” Tsukishima sounded serious. Tiredness had vanished from his voice. He was alerted.

Daichi swallowed and prepared to speak. You stared at him coldly, and Daichi hated how dim your eyes had turned. 

“…nothing. Everything’s clear.” Daichi could feel you ease slightly and bite your lips together, “I will continue little further.” 

For a moment, the line stayed quiet but soon the headset buzzed quietly again.

“[ _Copy that. Contact Iwaizumi when you are ready._ ]” Tsukishima sighed tiredly. He hadn’t suspected anything. 

“Roger. I will,” Daichi said quietly and soon the headset silenced again.

Then he carefully nodded at you with small movements and you wrapped the cloth around the microphone again. You removed the headset and put it to side. 

“How have you been?” Daichi asked, carefully. He didn’t know why he asked that. It was totally off-topic. 

You glanced at him coldly as you removed the string of your hood with two long movements without answering. The blade never left Daichi’s throat. Then you got up and forced Daichi on his stomach. You twisted his arms behind his back and tied them there with the jacket’s string. Daichi grunted, you weren’t gentle at all. 

Soon you pulled him to sitting position and made Daichi lean his back against yellow sand stone wall. Next thing took Daichi totally unawares: you opened his belt confidently. Daichi had to fight that he wouldn’t start blushing. He was sure that you were thinking to do something with the belt but the fact a beautiful girl was removing his belt made butterflies fly in his stomach all the same. He couldn’t look at you. 

You removed the belt and soon you forced Daichi’s leg so he was sitting his legs crossed. You tied his ankles to remain in that position. He wouldn’t be able to stand up but at least he could sit quite comfortably. You started to gather his stuff: his pistol, the headset, bullets, the walkie-talkie… You removed the hood so you could put the headset on. 

Daichi just stared at you. He wanted to say something. Anything. 

“We… we admired your working in the base.” You got startled sudden speaking. Daichi saw that you were listening even though you acted like you paid no attention in him. “You were very brilliant, (Name). I haven’t seen anyone cause as much trouble to our communication team as you did. Those realists almost started to believe in witchcraft when you vanished!” 

You sighed, pained. It felt horrible to hear Daichi’s warm voice. It made you want to give up and end this shit. But you couldn’t. You weren’t quite sure why you couldn’t but something told you to follow your plan and run away instead of giving up. 

“We got really worried when - - ,” Daichi started, before you cut him down.

“Where are you aiming?” Your voice were emotionless but your expression told Daichi that you felt uncomfortable. “What do you think you’ll gain with that blabbering?” 

Daichi gulped before smiling weakly. “I… I don’t know. I just want to talk to you. I guess I’m trying to gain your trust once again.” 

You furrowed, _gain my trust?_ “I won’t trust you.” _For this stupid game, I won’t trust you. I can’t._

Daichi felt horrible. It hurt to hear those words leave your mouth. Did this really mean that you would never trust him? “(Name), listen! This is just a game, just an assignment to see what you are made off! We would never actually - - !”

You got up. There was no way you were going to listen to him. Not when the game was on. 

“All of you will be just some enemies among the others to me as long as this game goes on.” You took a bandage roll from your pocket and tied Daichi’s mouth with it. Daichi watched you in disbelief and tried to say something. You heard only unclear muffled noise. “I won’t listen to you. I won’t let you lead me astray. No one will ever lead me astray again. I will run and run as I have done the past years. I will survive. I will _remain_.”

When you finished you collected the items you needed and pulled the hood to cover your face once again. Daichi mumbled your name, and you knew it was meant to come out as your name. Your heart stung. You refused to glance Daichi one last time. So you just left. Daichi could just watch you leave. 

Before stepping into sunlight you pressed a button in the headset to open the line so you could hear everything Tsukishima and Kenma were talking with anyone. It was quite chaotic as everyone spoke almost at the same time but it gave you needed information. 

Kuroo and Sugawara had gone after Hinata since he was still wearing his chip. It seems they were already chasing the Rookie in the streets of the Valirian. Hinata had teamed up with Kageyama, who had been unaware that Hinata had been wearing the chip, and now both of them were running for their dear lives. Kageyama had better chance to escape but it seemed that Kuroo was about to catch him. 

Meanwhile Matsukawa and Tanaka had gone to check Asahi’s chip. Asahi had hid his escape ride in small cave and left the chip there so it would be found. Asahi’s location was still unknown but the strategists believed that he was hiding in Chitac. The police forces has been asked to stay sharp and look for the man. 

Kenma had found out that the helicopter that Ennoshita had used to get away had landed in Oba. They had scanned the security cameras of the city and their system had identified Ennoshita a couple of times. Also, Oba’s police forces had been asked to look for him. 

The communication team had found out Yamaguchi’s location too. Matsukawa had admitted that he had taken Yamaguchi to the city of Chitac, but Yamaguchi had bought a bus ticket to Lanchor on the same day. Kenma had got the tape of the bus’s security camera which confirmed that the young sniper had jumped off the bus in a small village, on the coast of Sweet Sea. He probably remained there. Oikawa was going to pick him up.

They talked about you too. They expected you to be in Alejai since Dr. Takeda had taken you there. They couldn’t be too sure since you had turned out to be smarter than they had expected. The police forces has been informed about you and your picture will be presented to them in the morning. Currently, Iwaizumi and Akaashi were at the market square and after Daichi’s return they would move to other strategy:

They would use Mashur to find you since the dog had been spotted more than twice already. Next time the dog would be spotted someone would follow Mashur while others would keep their distance.

You immediately blew the whistle and commanded Mashur ‘ _home_ ’. It meant your current hiding place near the river, in a slum area. You had gotten the jacket you were wearing from a poor man who lived under a bridge near your hiding place. The most of the Alejai’s security cameras were located near the centrum, close to shops, ATMs and public buildings. You had already learned to avoid them. 

Even now you moved confidently past them as you left the centrum. 

Finally you knew what they were doing. Only problem was that you couldn’t leave the city immediately. Sooner or later the Elites could confirm that you were in Alejai after all. You needed to find someone who would take you out of the city. There was no way you would mess up like Yamaguchi had; the public transportation wasn’t an option. 

As you made your way you listened locals to find out if somebody would leave the city anytime soon. There were a few potential choices, but you couldn’t decide between them. None of them was leaving today.

Suddenly you heard Bokuto’s soft suspecting voice, “[ _Hey hey… Daichi said he'll continue little further but he hasn’t moved at all._ ]” 

The communication team quieted for a moment. _So they already noticed that_ , you thought slightly troubled. Daichi’s headset buzzed.

“[ _Captain? What’s your situation?_ ]” Tsukishima sounded alarmed. 

The cloth was still muffling everything that was happening around you. He wouldn’t get any information, and since there was no answer, Tsukishima contacted others. He told that Daichi hadn’t moved and soon Iwaizumi told that he headed there. Akaashi would keep scanning the area. Tsukishima instructed Iwaizumi to Daichi. _My time is up_ , you thought. Unfortunately for Daichi and the others, you were already far away and knew much and more.

Soon you heard Daichi’s voice as he used Iwaizumi’s headset: “[ _Tsukishima!! Shut the line of my headset! (Surname) is listening us through it!_ ]” 

This caused chaos and loud cursing in the communication center. Somehow it made you feel strange satisfaction. It felt like you had got your payback for all that struggle you had felt in the first days. There was ticklish feeling in your belly.

“[ _Damn you!_ ]” Tsukishima breathed out and soon the line shut down.

You had to grin little, you had got some valuable information. Of course, you couldn’t trust in it totally, your chasers would surely change their plans now that you had heard their strategies. Yet you knew about your chasers something knew… they were ready to go quite low to find you. 

_They wanted to use Mashur…_

Mashur was already at your hiding place when you arrived there. The old man who lived under the bridge petted the dog happily as you visited him. You returned the jacket to him, but he had already found you a new one. It was basically same but a bit shorter and brown colored. It was a bit dirty but it hardly bothered you. There were far greater problems on your mind.

As you laid down and Mashur took his place next to you, warming and securing you. You took Daichi’s walkie-talkie and pressed it on. The channel Daichi had used was now abandoned. You searched for open channels and soon found some. Only one was to your liking: the channel was used by local polices. The Elites hadn’t confirmed if the Alejai’s police forces used open channel. What a mistake.

You listened them a moment. Some of the polices were joking to each other that soon they wouldn’t need to do anything since the Crows were bringing more men to Alejai. The polices laughed that they would become kennel masters since their job was to find some Shepherd which was running free. It didn’t sound too good. They were still after Mashur. You glanced at your canine who just slept peacefully next to you. He had no clue what was going on.

Worry washed over you. 

You might need to survive on your own after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for your encouraging comments! They really keep me going, and I have the most idiotic smile on my face when I read them! So thank you, thank you, thank you! :) <3
> 
> Many have wished that I would write more about Akaashi. For now, Akaashi has been on the background because he wanted to give you/Reader more space and understand you/Reader better. As the story proceed he'll have bigger part in your life than you could ever imagine! ;) Just you know, I haven't forgotten him!
> 
> What amuses me the most is the curiosity towards the convict's missing finger (chapter 7)! That's hilarious, haha! I might reveal the secret in the series at one point... we'll see... > v <


	10. Shock to the System

The sun made morning dew sparkle beautifully. The air was cool and slightly humid, easy to breathe in. Enjoyable. Locals started their morning routines, rushed to work and school, or just stayed to take care of the house. The elders enjoyed the weather by sitting on terraces … the morning was peaceful. 

A military vehicle arrived in the market square, which was currently empty and lifeless. Four men jumped from the vehicle before the driver drove off. Oikawa flexed his back tiredly while Bokuto yawned, which caused Kuroo and Sugawara yawn after him. Once your location was confirmed, they had rushed back to the base from their previous missions and left early so they would arrive Alejai in time. Daichi and the others had booked a room from a hotel next to the market square, so the four Elites headed there. They had a meeting there before they would meet the police forces of the city. When the seven men had packed themselves into the hotel room, they started the conversation.

“So…” Daichi started before a yawn rudely stopped him. He shook his head to get the tiredness out of him. “Sorry. So, first I want to know who we have captured by now. Hinata and..?”

Oikawa finished Daichi’s sentence, “…Yamaguchi. But Kageyama got away in the end.” 

Kuroo growled, annoyed. He had almost caught the boy. They believed that Kageyama was still hiding in Valirian… and he would make a mistake sooner or later. The Elites just had to wait for it. 

“How about our veterans?” 

Sugawara was the first one to answer. Ennoshita seemed to be still in Oba while Asahi had used an ATM in Yato. They were quite close to each other which opened an option that they might work together in the end. The Elites wanted to be sure about it before doing anything harsh. Daichi listened patiently before bringing you up. They knew you were still in Alejai, Tsukishima swore that. He had stayed awake the whole night looking for you without success. There was no way you would had left the city unless you had walked.

Kuroo straightened his back on an uncomfortable wooden bench. “So we know that (Surname) is in this city and the suggestion is that she’s trying to leave.” Daichi, Iwaizumi and Akaashi nodded. There was no doubt about it. You had sworn to survive, and staying in the city full of your enemies wasn’t exactly a form of surviving. 

Bokuto raised an eye brown. “How are we going to catch her? Are we still trying to use Mashur?”

Daichi shook his head, “Currently (Surname) is aware of our former plans. We need to figure out something else.” 

“She has showed true talent what comes to getting away,” Sugawara said while crossing his arms on his chest. He furrowed his brows. “(Name) has been with us roughly two months and she hide her talents brilliantly from the start. In other words, we don’t have enough experience to state what she is or isn’t going to do.” 

The other Elites nodded in agreement. They were facing someone new and talented. 

Akaashi came up with something after a short silence, “If Tsukishima-san and Kenma-san went over her files and former missions we could built up a profile about her.” 

People perked up a little and Kuroo immediately jumped up to contact Kenma. It was a great idea.

“(Name)’s former missions can tell us how she acts under pressure and which methods she prefers to use. That information might even tell us in what kind of places she prefers to hide,” Kuroo stated before calling to Kenma. 

Everybody agreed and truthfully, they had never even thought about looking into your files. You had made it clear how uncomfortable it’d be for you, and they respected that. Well… this was the only time they had permission to do so without your leave. While Kuroo explained their idea to a drowsy Kenma, the others started to plan how to force you out from your hiding place. They could use the local police force’s help too. 

“Kenma promised to look for the info after a quick breakfast. They had stayed up whole night,” Kuroo finally said. 

Daichi didn’t like that. He needed his team fully awake and sharp as a needle. They should take care of themselves or they would wear out in crucial moment.

The Elites decided that they would still look for Mashur since he was the most visible feature about your presence; you would be close to the dog. Kenma had hinted that the communication team might have a strategy, which could be helpful, but Kenma needed to discuss about it with the technicians and Tsukishima first. Meanwhile the Elites made their way to the police station where they told about you and your motives. They showed your picture to the police on duty too. They encouraged everyone to contact them if they ever saw you or if they even thought seeing you. 

After that, the waiting started. The Elites spread in the city and looked for you while waiting for clues. The sun rose high and locals started to fuss around. Many of them wondered why there were Crows in the city but the most of them just ignore them. As the sun started to go lower, the streets got busier. Still there was no information about you or Mashur. Sugawara thought that there was a possibility that you knew that they were expecting you to move during busy hours.

Tsukishima contacted the Elites in the afternoon, and he wasn’t happy. The blonde rarely was happy but this time he was totally pissed off. There just wasn’t enough material to create a profile of you.

“What do you mean ‘ _there’s no data_ ’?” Daichi asked, flabbergasted. There _had to be_ since you surely existed and were a soldier of the Allied Guards. Every soldier took part in missions, every soldier fought this war; _every single soldier_ had some data!

Tsukishima sighed piquantly, ”[ _I mean exactly what I said, sir. Yes, she has a data file just like everybody else has their own but… I don’t understand._ ]” 

Tsukishima double and triple-checked the file about you. Everybody listened to the channel anxiously while observing the streets. Tsukishima was surely working hard, but why was he meeting this much trouble when it was about you?

“But?” Daichi asked a little bit too indignantly. “Explain!”

“[ _There’s a three-year gap in her data, sir_ ,]” Tsukishima said quietly as he tapped at his keyboard, “[ _But there isn’t information on what she had been doing during those three years. There’s information from her time in the (country) army. Then she started serving the Allied Guards for a year and **POOF** , there’s the gap, and then (Surname) suddenly moved to serve in Eagle Garden for just about a year before she was moved here!_]” 

Tsukishima almost laughed; he couldn’t believe this was happening. The only thing he was sure of you was that you were making things nightmarishly troublesome. Nothing made sense in you.

Daichi could hear your hissing voice in his mind: “ _I will run and run as I have done the past years._ ” He didn’t feel good about your words. He knew that you hid your past, but only now he understood how much information it meant. Only now he understood how big deal it was. Daichi and his team had no clue who they were facing anymore; you might not be who you claimed to be.

“Is there any explanation about that gap?”

After a moment Tsukishima answered that only the Headquarter of the Allied Guards were aware of it. Daichi had a hunch that that gap could be either a really long sick leave or a mission which existence the Headquarters wanted to keep hidden. Dr. Takeda had sworn to protect your health records, so they couldn’t even check if you had been on a sick leave in the first place. Nothing could be done then.

“Tsukishima you did good work but we need to move on. I understand that you are frustrated but drop it for now. What plan have you come up with?” 

Kenma, Tanaka and Nishinoya explained about the plan while Tsukishima checked the security cameras once again. As they were finishing Tsukishima contacted again.

“[ _I found Mashur!_ ]” Everyone jumped up and stopped whatever they were doing. The evening was already closing and soon the sun would start setting. It was important to find you before nightfall. “[ _The dog moved past a camera just now!_ ]” 

Tsukishima leaded the men on the direction where Mashur had headed. They arrived to a busy market street full of stands, coffee terraces, restaurants, shops… 

Plus, there were just too much people, many were wearing a hood or hid their faces otherwise. The most of the Aryleanese women hid their face behind thin, colorful scarfs. Basically, women who considered themselves beautiful hid their faces so they wouldn’t distract men’s working. It also provided protection: women with scarves were not allowed to be bothered if the women didn’t approach you. It was part of the culture. Women were highly valued here. 

But right now, this tradition caused new kind of trouble for the Elites. Every woman was hiding their faces. You could be anyone or no one. Kuroo and Daichi moved in the crowd. They didn’t see you, or maybe they did but couldn’t recognize you.

Kuroo touched his headset gently, “Maybe we should try that plan of yours…” Akaashi had arrived in the area too and was now observing the street from a roof. The other Elites were nearby areas if you by chance were keeping distance to your dog. 

Kenma spoke first, “[ _Okay… prepare yourselves. If she is close to you, your headsets will start making noise._ ]” The technical team had suggested that they could try to mess up the headset you were probably still using. They would open the line to the headset and cause strong audio feedback. That if something would definitely make you act. “[ _We will open line in three seconds and on fourth we cause the feedback. Starting… Now._ ]”

The Elites started counting as they looked around. 

_One… Two… Three…_

You could hear the headset on your ear click open, _hm?_ But before you could check what was happening…

_***SCRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII - - *** _

…horribly loud, sharp noise shot to your ear. 

It felt totally obnoxious and forced you to rip the headset off you. _WHAT THE HELL?!_ It hurt. The pain was real. You had to bit your lip so you wouldn’t shout in pain. Your ear was ringing and you were sure that the noise had cut through the whole area. You weren’t wholly wrong; you knew they had done it to find you. _Carefully now_ , you thought as you kept walking through the pain. 

“[ _Kuroo, Daichi, she’s close to you! Somewhere in front of you!_ ]” Tsukishima shouted. The Elites had heard the noise created by audio feedback quite well. But why didn’t they see you? 

“I didn’t see anyone start running.” “Me neither.”

Akaashi scanned the area. There was just too much people. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see anyone move vaguely.” He sighed, you had to be there somewhere. It was quite impossible to notice one person from a mass of people. Kuroo and Daichi moved faster forward a moment until Daichi suddenly stopped and stared at his feet. 

A headset. His headset. “I found the headset. She must be close!” 

“Stay sharp, people… Remember we don’t know exactly what kind of soldier we are facing,” Sugawara reminded in quiet voice. Akaashi made his way on the roof quietly. Bokuto, Sugawara, Oikawa and Iwaizumi surrounded the area but kept their distance. Kuroo and Daichi moved ahead. 

People were chatting and laughing, some were busier than others. Suddenly Kuroo spotted a person about your height walking peacefully past a jewelry stall. The person was wearing a half-long brown jacket and was wearing colorful thin scarf. Something in the person’s movements reminded Kuroo from you so he went towards the stall. 

“/ _T-That soldier is coming this way, Marlein._ /” One lady close to you said to her friend. There were a bunch of women looking some jewelry at the stall. You gulped but remained calm. 

“/ _He’s so handsome!_ /” some other lady breathed out in awe. 

“ / _Is he a Crow?_ / “ 

You lifted a whistle on your lip as you fixed your scarf. You could hear Kuroo’s steps behind you. He was about three meters away when Mashur barked in distance.

Kuroo stopped immediately. He knew that bark quite well. Quickly he turned to see where the bark had come… and saw a huge Shepherd gallop ahead. It was Mashur. The dog was with a person who was also hiding her face. The person petted Mashur’s head gently as they walked forward. He glanced at you suspiciously but you just kept walking peacefully forward, glancing at the jewelries like any other woman would do. 

_Could it be her?_

“[ _Kuroo, what are you doing? Mashur is right in front of us!_ ]” Daichi shouted.

Pressure was high. Kuroo didn’t have room for any mistakes so he forced his focus on Mashur.

“Ah… on it!” He ran so close past you that you could detect his familiar scent. Right after he had gone past you, you stopped walking.

Daichi and Kuroo ran towards the person with Mashur while Akaashi aimed at her. When Kuroo got close, Mashur turned around and barked once. Like a warning. The person flinched but Kuroo was already gripping her arm and yanked the person closer, “Got you!” 

Suddenly Mashur ran away regardless that Kuroo had caught the person. _What?_ Wasn’t Mashur going to protect you? Kuroo gripped the hood of the person in hurry; a boy about your height ogled at Kuroo eyes wide open from fright. Both of them blinked their wide eyes a moment before Daichi reached them, “It’s not her! Mashur ran to the east!” 

_It couldn’t be…_ Kuroo thought in shock, let go of the person, and started to move back his tracks. But when Kuroo reached the place where he had seen you, you were already gone. Only the scarf was on the ground. He picked it up and clenched it.

“Shit! Dammit! She was right in front of me!” he shouted in despair. 

You had been almost in his arms and you had remained calm. _Shit! Damn! I approached her intuitively but still overlooked her!!_ You seemed to be so insecure before that Kuroo hadn’t even imagined you could keep your calm that well. 

_She was right here_ , he thought as he looked around from the spot. It made no sense. A person couldn’t just vanish in broad daylight while knowing that she was chased. Kuroo felt his body shiver. _Could she be - ?_ It was an impossible thought. Kuroo shook his head in disbelief; there was no time to solve some unfounded suspicion. _That team doesn’t exist anymore_. He looked around aimlessly as people walked past him. You could be anyone.

He started to feel that he knew absolutely nothing about you. 

“Shit…”

“[ _Calm down, Kuroo! People, let’s spread out! She’s somewhere near!_ ]” Daichi shouted out as he ran to same direction where he had seen Mashur go. You had vanished once again. Daichi didn’t want to believe it. Your words rang his head like a whisper, “ _I will survive. I will remain._ ” The sun was setting, coloring the sandstone walls bright orange. After a while Tsukishima contacted the group:

“[ _I saw them move towards eastern part of the city!_ ]” 

But before Tsukishima could continue Kenma shouted over him.

“[ _We got the signal, her chip has been activated! We see her in our map! Oikawa, you’re the closest to her!_ ]” 

They didn’t know why your chip had been activated right now but they couldn’t lose this chance. Even though you had escaped from them brilliantly, human errors happened to anyone. Even you. Tsukishima could confirm that you were with Mashur. He had video material which matched with Kenma’s data about the chips location. Kenma took control and started to guide Oikawa after you.

“[ _Stay sharp! They are moving towards an area which doesn’t have any secure cameras._ ]”

Oikawa huffed as he ran while the GPS named Kenma gave him directions. He hadn’t seen even a glimpse of you yet! “I don’t see them!” Oikawa shouted as dashed to right and then left. They were running towards east. 

“[ _Continue forward and turn left… now! Your immediate right!_ ]” 

Tsukishima guided the others, “[ _Iwaizumi, she’s coming towards you!_ ]”

Meanwhile, Oikawa was having a hard time brething. He was running with all his might and he couldn’t see a glimpse of you! Naturally, he started whining. 

“She… is too… fast!! I can’t… catch he… her!!” 

“[ _Just keep chasing her!_ ]” Kuroo shouted. He was also running. 

Bokuto was with him, “[ _Don’t worry, we’re right behind you!_ ]” Bokuto sounded a bit too excited about this.

“Should that make me feel better?! I don’t want to be chased by you!!” Oikawa shouted and found new kind of power to pick up stamina. He felt chills, _oh god those freaks are really behind me!!_ They were faster runners than him too!

“[ _CONCENTRATE!_ ]” Daichi roared.

Kenma watched the monitor carefully. You were zigzagging but clearly going towards Iwaizumi. 

“[ _Iwaizumi she’ll be there soon, coming from your right! About 50 meters!_ ]”

Soon Iwaizumi could hear somebody running towards him. Fast. Iwaizumi crunched down behind a corner and got ready to tackle you. He felt his heart beat quicken but he refused to lose his focus by it. He could hear your panting, closer and closer. As a shadow appeared on his vision he got ready, and lunged towards your legs. He collided with the runner quite hard. 

The first impression of the runner was… fur. 

Iwaizumi’s eyes widened in shock as he crashed down with the huge dog, “MASHUR?!” 

They rolled over before stopping on a sitting position. Mashur was in Iwaizumi’s strong embrace. At first the dog got scared of the sudden impact and whined loudly but soon Mashur calmed down when he smelled Iwaizumi. The dog fawned happily on his back in Iwaizumi’s arms. Oikawa, Bokuto and Kuroo arrived soon. Mashur licked Iwaizumi’s shocked face which made the three men snort. 

“We got Mashur,” Kuroo told everyone. “No sight of (Name).”

Oikawa checked Mashur while Iwaizumi held him. Oikawa noticed that there was something hanging from Mashur’s collar: the dog whistle and a small pouch attached to it. As he emptied the content of the pouch on his palm it became clear that you had gotten away once again. Oikawa smirked; he held your chip between his thumb and forefinger so the others could see it too. 

“She got away,” Oikawa sighed. “Mashur had her chip. There’s no way telling when they went separate ways.”

Kuroo sighed, “(Name) totally stole our plan. It was her who used Mashur to catch us.” Bokuto snorted but turned gloomy instantly. He, just like everybody, had waited to catch you… to get you home.

“[ _Damn it…_ ]” Daichi cursed. The atmosphere got whole lot darker like the day that was ending.

* * *

The sun had almost set. Its light printed final shadows of the landscape on the ground and grass fields. The third day of the runaway game was ending. You watched as the city of Alejai got smaller the further the truck drove. Little did the driver know, you were accompanying him during the ride. You had hidden in the cargo which was full of vegetables and other goodies. You had learned that this driver transported all the market’s unsold food to smaller cities every evening for the poor. You had been lucky to manage to get a ride too; the rider drove past the city from east to north every other evening. You just needed to learn when to jump on while Mashur leaded the Elites to other direction. Taking the chip with you had been risky choice but it had totally saved you today. You had kept the chip in a small bottle filled with water. Only thing was to give it to Mashur in the right time and make sure that your chasers thought that you were with Mashur by running past that lonely security camera. You knew that Tsukishima were observing those all the time; they obsessed over him. After giving the chip to Mashur, you had told the dog to go to Iwaizumi while you went to catch your ride. But it hurt to leave Mashur behind this soon. You were completely on your own now… you didn’t like it at all. The Elites knew how you used Mashur, and it gave them an advantage. In this game you couldn’t give them any hints. This evening was a perfect example of it. _They came at me with full force_ , you thought anxiously; they weren’t joking around. You bit your lip. Though your fear towards the Elites was only growing day by day, you somehow had started to look up to them today. Yet you couldn’t stop thinking: _they should just find me_. The thought annoyed you. It fought against your natural urge to flee… your will to survive. It would take two to three hours for the truck reach the city named Ilgin. This time you wouldn’t stay in there. You would immediately go towards the mountains. Towards the Sweet Sea. You would vanish like a single rain drop into a vast ocean. 

* * *

* * *

Red dots on the map moved closer to the target. It was important to move naturally and without hesitating, act like everything normal. The locals had a common bad habit of giving too much attention on the men in black suits. The Crows. The Elites had to change their tactics. People entered and left from a cafeteria. Warm weather allured people to spend time together. Little did those people know that there was something bigger happening in that part of the city. 

Kuroo waited for permission to proceed in a shop next to the cafeteria. When he moved closer to the window he could see Oikawa take position on the opposite building’s roof. _Akaashi must be on the other roof already_ , Kuroo thought as he acted like the amount of the calories in a biscuit packet in his hand really mattered to him. He was wearing casual clothing: a white t-shirt, ripped jeans, sneakers and a red-black checkered shirt tied on his waist… and sunglasses. Absolutely beautiful sunglasses, which he had found while making his way to the grocery store. He could hear his ear buds crack little.

“[ _The target is still in the cafeteria_ ,]” Oikawa said calmly. He was only one who had visual contact to the target. Kuroo knew that Iwaizumi and Bokuto were on the ground level, getting ready to run after the target if something went wrong and he tried to flee. Akaashi was on the roof of the cafeteria. Sugawara was little further away ensuring the cafeteria’s back door. 

Daichi contacted everyone from their hideout, “[ _Is everyone in their positions and ready?_ ]” 

Soon the line flooded from answers. “[ _Aye._ ]” “[ _Yes, sir._ ]” “Yepperoni.” “[ _Rea- pff, dude, what was that?!_ ]” “[ _Ready to act, sir._ ]” “[ _Ready and set._ ]” 

Daichi sighed loudly. It took a short while before the captain contacted everyone again. He probably made sure that the communication team was also ready. “[ _Then we will start. Kuroo, proceed as planned. Others, keep your positions. No room for mistakes._ ]” 

Kuroo hummed and moved outside. He flexed and scratched his neck before walking towards the cafeteria. He could feel Oikawa’s eyes on him. “[ _Kuroo is moving. Entering the cafeteria in ten seconds._ ]” Oikawa informed as Kuroo made his way. He walked past the alley and saw Iwaizumi standing there armed, ready to act. His eyes were sharp on Kuroo, which made Kuroo only smirk, so intense! Some people just stepped out from the cafeteria, which allowed Kuroo to move in smoothly. 

“[ _He’s on your right Kuroo. In the corner with a laptop_ ,]” Oikawa said in serious manner. Kuroo walked to a counter on the left side of the cafeteria and ordered a coffee. He glanced to the right, and there he was. The target was fully focused on the laptop in front of him. Unaware of Kuroo. Without knowing that his game was close to its end. Kuroo smirked as he paid his cup of coffee.

Kageyama felt chills and glanced up. He scanned the cafeteria from his seat, people were chatting and laughing, there was groups and couples, workers were tapping their computers while some people just read books. It was quite noisy in there but it didn’t bother Kageyama. He had been chased for five days but now he had a solution in front of him. Since everything seemed normal the young sniper turned his attention back on the data in front of him. There was so many files about the Elites’ strategies in front of him. Kageyama just needed to find the right data and use it to avoid his chasers. 

“Did you found what you were looking for?” Kuroo asked as he leaned his back against a wall before sipping his coffee. It took seconds for Kageyama to understand who had asked the question. He stared at the Elite eyes wide; Kuroo had appeared literally out of the blue. Kuroo smirked sarcastically at Kageyama, “Hm? Did I get your tongue?” 

Kageyama jumped up, grabbed the laptop, and flipped the table at Kuroo before dashing towards the back door. Kuroo watched things happen, amused. The table hadn’t even scratched him, he hadn’t even spilled his coffee. _Aren’t you a bit too dramatic?_ he chuckled as he contacted the others. 

“He went towards the back door. Do you want me to run after him?” 

Kuroo calmly lifted the table back up while everyone in the coffee shop stared at him confused and alerted. He smiled and tried to tell in Velarian that he had quarrel with his brother. He obviously made mistake at some point because people’s jaws dropped and some of them gave him old-fashioned looks; had he mixed up ‘brother’ and ‘boyfriend’ again? He never learned the difference.

“[ _Could you even ONCE take these chases se- - ?!_ ]” Oikawa’s ranting was stopped by Akaashi’s calm comment,

“[ _Sugawara-san shot him in the leg. The target is captured._ ]” 

Kuroo smirked as he made his way to the back door before someone in the cafeteria called the police on him for child molesting suspicion. Iwaizumi was already walking Kageyama to the others. The boy didn’t look very happy, his usual scowl was even grimmer than before and he was biting his lip. Soon the snipers arrived at the scene. 

“How did you even find me?” Kageyama asked, beaten, when Oikawa took the memory card from his laptop. He had been so sure nobody had known about his intentions. He had checked everything! Oikawa smirked mockingly and lifted the memory card right in front of Kageyama’s blue eyes. The younger male just blinked confused before furrowing again.

“The moment you put this in the computer it sent our base an alarm. It wasn’t too hard to find your location after that.” Oikawa smiled as he snatched the chip away and put in a safe place. “We told you that the chip on your bracelet contains very important information about our base, didn’t we? Obviously, it’d be highly secured.”

Kageyama clicked his teeth; truthfully it had been a bit too easy to get into those files. He should have known. _How stupid of me…_

Sugawara smiled to the Rookie in soothing manner.

“This was your first time, and believe me when I say that you did really good job!” Sugawara ruffled Kageyama’s dark hair which made the boy calm down a bit. 

Kuroo planted a small punch on Kageyama’s shoulder while smirking. Kageyama got totally surprised about it and blinked at the Elite his eyes wide open. “At least you didn’t do as horribly as Shrimp!” 

Bokuto, Oikawa and Iwaizumi snorted little to the memory. Kageyama furrowed and got angry because of Hinata’s stupidity. He swore to beat him up when they met again. Sugawara had to calm the boy down all over again.

Suddenly Kageyama seemed to remember something important. He stopped. His facial expression turned from angry to curious in a blink of an eye. He turned to the Elites his eyes shining. 

“Who else remains?! Who have you caught?” Could he be the last one?

The Elites were a little taken back. They glanced at each other before turning a little troubled. Iwaizumi and Kuroo’s expressions turned a bit harder, serious. Sour. Oikawa crossed his arms on his chest and turned his attention elsewhere annoyed, Akaashi touched his fingers, stressed, while Bokuto turned visibly gloomy. Kageyama stared their reactions, confused. Had the question been too difficult? Sugawara just smiled tiredly as his shoulders slumped little, “Well… Hinata, Yamaguchi and Asahi have been found and they’re at the base. We’ll go after Ennoshita next since Kenma had found out his hiding place…” 

Sugawara left the rest unsaid. 

Unfortunately, Kageyama couldn’t read between the lines what was happening. He tilted his head, confused, before asking: “What about (Surname) then? Have you forgotten her?”

The Elites sighed in common annoyance. Oikawa and Kuroo scrambled to different directions, the corners of their mouths tight, sour expressions on their faces. Sugawara watched them go. He couldn’t blame them.

“We… haven’t found her just yet!” Sugawara tried to sound carefree but the words came out forced. Even he couldn’t believe his own words. Would they find you? “There’s no way we would forget her…” Sugawara half whispered as his eyes turned sad.

Kageyama couldn’t understand what was happening anymore. Before he could ask more questions, Iwaizumi ruffled Kageyama’s head roughly, turning the boys focus on other matters,

“Let’s get going. We need to escort you back to base after all.”

* * *

Shooting pain went through your body and you woke up screaming. You shot up from your bed in panic and for a moment you felt totally lost. It was dark. Too dark. Where were you? Why was it so dark? Your shirt was wet from cold sweat. The air was freezing cold. Shivers ran through your body. Why was it so damn cold? In a state of indecision, you reached your arms from your body, looking for walls, anything that would give information about your surroundings. Cold air hot your sides when you reached ahead. Where were you? It was too dark. Had you lost your eyesight? Your heart beating drummed furiously in your ears, pulsed on your chest and throat. You swallowed, labored. 

Finally, you touched a cold brick wall. Old and cracked. Suddenly you could finally see again, like a curtain would have been opened from your eyes. The whole room was made of stone, except a small wooden window and door. The room was empty, abandoned. The smell of mold stung in your nose. 

Only then you remembered: you were in a small village located on the banks of Fresh Lake, hiding in a basement of an old house and waiting for the morning so you could move again. How long had you been there? 

You listened carefully as your heart was finally calming down. Had you woken anybody? You couldn’t hear any movements coming from the house above you. A relieved sigh left your lips and you sat back down.

“Fuck. Dammit…” you whispered as you pressed your head against your knees and hugged your legs. Thanks to this chasing game your nights had turned so fucked up: this was your seventh time waking up by the same nightmare with the same results. You never could change the outcome… and your dreams were getting only worse night by night. More fierce and troubling. Distressing. Suffocating. I screamed again, you thought while biting your lip. That hadn’t happened in long time. That wasn’t supposed to happen ever again. 

_What’s happening to me?_

The exhaustion was getting overwhelming. How long could you go on? 

_Find me, fuck dammit_ , you desperately thought as you tried to get more sleep. Anger was building in you. Why couldn’t they find you? You fought down your tears, they never solved anything. They never had, and never will solve anything. You curled up in a fetal positon, made yourself as small as you could be. To warm yourself up… to give yourself comfort.

_Please just… find me already._

* * *

\--

Catching Ennoshita had turned out to be a bit harder than the Elites had expected. Ennoshita was a veteran after all, and he had learned from his earlier mistakes quickly. The communication and the technical team had thought that Ennoshita would have been Oba as the cameras showed. It had taken a while for them to remember how clever Ennoshita could be. He was a mechanic too. A saboteur. The leader of the technical team had managed to trick the Elites by confusing the public supervision of the city – the secure cameras sent data from wrong day. If Kenma or Tsukishima saw Ennoshita in the cameras, he had been there a day before. 

When the Elites had gone to Oba to capture Ennoshita, the wanted man had already been setting his next trap in the city of Dayton. 

The city was one of the biggest cities of the country and famous from its food and people’s geniality. The city was full of tourists around the year. Though the Blood Brothers were the most active on eastside of Sweet River, they had recently started to cause problems in Dayton too. Fortunately, Eagle Gardens, the dominant base of the Allied Guards, made sure that those problems never expanded into graver dimensions. So far, the city has avoided the biggest Blood Brothers’ aggressions. 

Since summer was almost at the door, heatwaves and thunderstorms grew in number. The temperature never dropped under 20 Celsius (about 68 Fahrenheit) even during winter times in Arylean. The time of the year could be sensed from the prevalent weather: in summer temperature remains high until rain and thunderstorms drop it back to tolerable heights and winter is quite dry and short. Since the last two days has been pretty warm everyone waited for a thunderstorm.

The runaway game had started seven days ago; the first week was about to end. 

Ennoshita ran as fast as his legs allowed him to go. He made quick right turn and jumped over a wheelbarrow that had been left in the middle of the alley. He dashed left and right while looking for a perfect moment to hide himself. The Elites had finally found him. Ennoshita had been creating another trap for them, but somebody had recognized him and pointed the Elites where he could be found. He had avoided an ambush but now he was being chased.

Ennoshita dived in a street full of people. He could hear someone running behind him but for now the person had gotten confused. Ennoshita knew this was his chance and picked up speed. When he saw no one running behind him he jumped down a small bridge in a controlled manner; he diminished the falling height by hanging from the edge of the bridge before landing neatly on a deck next to the waterfront of a waterway. Quickly, he slipped under the small bridge and pressed his back against the wall. He held his breath and listened. Someone ran over the bridge.

Excitement ran through Ennoshita’s body. Could it be that he hadn’t been noticed? He took a deep wary breath as he gathered courage to move again. His legs yarned for more oxygen and felt heavy when Ennoshita moved closer to the edge of the bridge. Carefully he peeked at the street above him. Ennoshita could see people’s figures move on the bridge from water’s reflection. People were laughing as they went over the bridge, and everything seemed safe. Normal. 

The waterway continued straight ahead before making a turn to right. If he ran there, the buildings located in the corner of the river would give him shelter. Ennoshita licked his lips and prepared to dash. As he was about to take one last peek before going, he felt a cold round metal press against his neck. The coldness sent chills down his spine. He hadn’t heard anyone to move behind him. 

“I’m afraid you’re not going any further, Chikara.” It was scary how calm and cold and deadly Sugawara could sound when he had a gun in his hand. He was a different person when he was armed. Ennoshita lifted his arms up and turned his head. Sugawara smiled a bit too sweetly while his eyes burned from excitement. “Give me the chip so we can end this.” 

Ennoshita forced his lips into a smile.

He started to open the bracelet above his head and gulped, “S-Sure, sir. Please calm down.” He could feel the rifle’s pipe move even slightly downwards. A sign of relaxation. 

His moment.

Swiftly Ennoshita turned around and pushed the rifle’s pipe to side with his arm. Sugawara’s eyes widened as Ennoshita grabbed the gun as he sent a high kick towards the Elite. Sugawara had to let go of the rifle to be able to defend himself. Ennoshita threw the rifle in the waterway before backing away. They stared at each other a moment, small smiles on their faces, before Ennoshita decided to make run for it. 

Immediately he left the shelter of the bridge, a lonely shadow appeared in front of him on the ground. He managed only to look up and see Bokuto’s haunting excited smile, before the Elite tackled him with huge force. They wrestled on the ground until it was clear that Ennoshita wasn’t going anywhere. He was no match against Bokuto. Soon a gun was pointed at him again. This time it was Akaashi’s. 

Bokuto laughed as he removed the bracelet from Ennoshita’s wrist, “Bahaha did you really think that you managed to trick me!” 

Ennoshita gritted his teeth and smiled weakly. Bokuto got up and yanked Ennoshita on his feet with one strong pull before patting dust from his shirt. 

Akaashi sighed and unloaded his gun. “Bokuto-san… you were totally lost for a moment. It was Oikawa-san who saw him slip under the bridge, not you.” 

“Akaashi! Don’t ruin my glory!!”

“What glory? I didn’t know you ever had any,” Oikawa’s unimpressed voice surprised everyone. 

Bokuto got depressed instantly; he had been cool… at least, in his own opinion. These men just couldn’t understand him.

“ENNOSHITA!!” Sugawara shouted angrily, “Did you really need to throw my gun into water?!” 

Ennoshita smiled troubled and tried to avoid eye contact… actually any kind of contact with the angry vice-captain. Sugawara wasn’t buying it and soon forced the man get the rifle back from the waterway. The others accompanied Sugawara under the bridge while Ennoshita was waist down in the water. It was only place that provided some shelter against the sun. It was just too hot day.

After the rifle had been fished from the waterway, the Elites took Ennoshita to their temporary base. The communication and technical teams had arrived in Dayton too, and built up a control room in an electricity company’s conference room with the company’s permission. After Ennoshita’s trick in Oba, their presence had become important – they were only ones who could match with Ennoshita and they knew how to fix purposely confused systems. 

Daichi welcomed Ennoshita back. They chatted a moment of his performance before Ennoshita continued as the leader of the technical team. Nishinoya and Tanaka took him back happy tears in their eyes.

“Waaah, Chikara wemissedyousomuuuch!!” Tanaka wailed as he hugged an unimpressed Ennoshita while Nishinoya hang on his shoulders and wailed. Asahi smiled troubled at them as Ennoshita started to peel his underlings off him. Tanaka and Noya took possession of Ennoshita’s legs – they had felt so lost without their leader. Ennoshita took deep annoyed breath before shaking Asahi’s hand.

“Welcome back, Chikara.” Asahi smiled.

“It’s good to be back…” Ennoshita glanced at the whimpering grownup men at his feet, “…I guess… But is there anything new? How do we carry on?”

Asahi’s smile turned slightly troubled while Tanaka and Noya flinched a little. _What was that?_ Ennoshita thought, worried, before Asahi answered.

“There’s, eh, nothing new… I think that is the problem we’re also facing right now.” 

Ennoshita tilted his head confused. Asahi nodded at the Elites on the sly.

Then the atmosphere in the room changed burdensome – all the joy from the successful chase had vanished and suspicion took over. The Elites’ expressions had turned tricky. They sat around a table in their own thoughts. Only you were left now and there were no clues about you. There was absolutely nothing. They had to be missing something. But what? Without Mashur it was impossible to know where you had gone. At first, they had thought that Mashur would lead them to you, but he refused to cooperate; he had followed Iwaizumi cheerily for one day but now he just laid and waited for you to come back. Having him in the field was pointless so Mashur had been taken back to base.

Even Tsukishima and Kenma had ran out of ideas. The security cameras were looking for you from biggest cities but so far there hadn’t been anything. Either you hadn’t moved at all or you were in some rogue area without any public supervision. It was a tricky situation which the Elites and their supportive teams met rarely. You were just so damn careful and sharp... or something had happened to you. 

New kind of worry washed over the Elites. What if something had happened you? Bokuto’s face furrowed angrily while he pressed his forehead against the table while Kuroo was staring the ceiling the same expression on his face. Oikawa stared at the busy street from a window while rubbing his upper lip, Iwaizumi sat at the table his hands folded on his chest, and Sugawara dried his rifle at the table, a sad expression on his face. Akaashi focused on the newspaper but it was obvious that he was looking through it; he was anxious. Daichi stared into distance while furrowing, he seemed tired. 

They looked so pessimistic and grim that Ennoshita felt ill. Without knowing what was happening, the leader of the technical team turned to his team and whispered while covering a side of his mouth, “A-Are they exaggerating this or is the situation really that bad?” 

Asahi, Nishinoya and Tanaka gulped troubled. The Elites had been like that past days. Asahi swallowed so hard that for a moment he was sure everybody heard him. Luckily nobody did, everyone was too busy with thinking. He leaned towards Ennoshita and whispered: 

“T-They have been like this since (Surname) escaped from them in Alejai... actually, they turn grimmer every passing day without new info about her. She’s the last one left after all, and we have no idea where she could be.”

Ennoshita blinked, _what did he say?_ Asahi got troubled about Ennoshita’s shocked expression and tried to back down, but the smaller man gripped his collar and kept Asahi from going. The brown-haired man yelped when his team’s leader pulled him closer. 

“Are they looking just for (Name)!?” Ennoshita hissed baffled. It was surprise for him that you were the only one left but… 

_How?_

Asahi bit his lips sealed in terror. Ennoshita seemed so fierce and scary, and Asahi could just nod furiously as sweat drops appeared on his temple. _What did I do wrong??_

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!” Ennoshita couldn’t keep his voice down. He was shouting while whispering. 

“Y-Y-You never a-asked!!” Asahi whined back.

The Elites had reacted to your name and were now staring at the mechanics. 

Daichi frowned, confused, “What is happening over there?” Ennoshita let go of Asahi but didn’t break the eye contact with the man. He let the information sink in, _how is that even possible?_ Asahi had no idea what was happening but he didn’t dare to break eye contact with Ennoshita. Daichi rose up, “What is it? If you have some personal conflicts you don’t need to tell, but please solve them somewhere else - -”

“(Surname)”, Ennoshita said. Daichi stopped and quieted while the other Elites’ expressions turned serious. Ennoshita finally turned to see them, he had confused smile on his face. He felt dumbfounded, “H-Haven’t you seriously found her yet?” 

Daichi blinked shocked while Asahi turned pale. That question shouldn’t be asked, not now. Sugawara stared at Ennoshita flabbergasted: the leader of the technical team wasn’t a person to pick up a fight and now he had gone and asked that. But before Ennoshita could continue he felt a death aura. He lost his words.

The Elites’ eyes flamed. Bokuto even got up in anger, “What was with that?” His voice sounded like closing thunder, deep and threatening. 

Kuroo had turned grim too and even Akaashi stared at Ennoshita icily. Oikawa walked closer to Ennoshita while snarling. “If you think that we haven’t worked hard to find (Name)-chan you are dead wrong!” 

Iwaizumi stopped Oikawa’s going but glared icily at Ennoshita. What was he up to?

Daichi glanced at his team, uneasily. They were like a pack of threatened animals, ready to strike. Their patience would soon spill over. “Get a hold of yourselves…” The Elites hardly paid attention in their captain’s command so Daichi turned towards Ennoshita. He felt angry too. “Ennoshita, I believe you meant no harm, or so I want to believe, but could you be a bit more discreet with your words. This isn’t easy to us. But the answer to your question is no… we are not found (Surname) yet.” 

Sugawara got up, as he had finally dried and pieced his rifle together. “Why do you feel so confused about it Chikara? Is it hard to believe that we have troubles with her?” The sympathizing gleam from his brown eyes had vanished.

Ennoshita shook his head, his eyes were still full of disbelief, “No! No that’s not it! I would never suspect you, I know very well how capable you are!” 

“Then what is it? Spit it out!” Oikawa snarled as he released himself from Iwaizumi’s grip and moved at Ennoshita. It felt like a tsunami was about to hit him.

“She’s here!” Ennoshita shouted in panic. 

Oikawa stopped. Everyone looked confused. _What did he say?_

There were sweat drops on Ennoshita’s temple. “(Surname) is here in Dayton! I’ve seen a glimpse of her more than five times already. I even bumped into her on the street yesterday!” It felt like time had stopped in the conference room – no one moved, not even blinked. For a moment Ennoshita was afraid that the men didn’t even breathe anymore. They stared at Ennoshita, eyes wide open. “T-That’s why I’m shocked that you haven’t found her since you clearly had no troubles with finding me!”

No response. 

The men stared at him like he was accidently speaking fluent accident Latin while shitting gold. 

Ennoshita sighed frustrated and walked to Kenma. The strategist flinched but understood what was happening, “W-Where was it?” He asked quietly while he started to tap the keyboard as he hacked into the public surveillance camera system of Dayton once again. 

“In the north-east of the city.” Ennoshita had turned serious. Kenma zoomed in the area and soon Ennoshita pointed a specific point on one street, “There. This’s where we bumped into each other.” 

There was only one surveillance camera on the street and it was at the end of the street. The Elites were finally stirring up and moving closer the computer. Soon they swarmed around Kenma and Ennoshita inquisitively.

Kenma sighed, “It’s pointing into the wrong direction.”

“(Surname) was probably making her way to a small market area in the end of that street… there.” Ennoshita pointed at a small angular open area in the map. “If she went there, the camera must have picked up her. It was about twenty-five past four in the afternoon when we bumped. If she walked the same pace as me, (Surname) would walk past the camera... about half past four.” 

Kenma nodded and projected the video material of the surveillance camera on a huge screen before starting to rewind the video.

Iwaizumi was still feeling a bit doubtful, “How can you remember that time so in detail?”

Corners of Ennoshita’s mouth twitched little but didn’t reach the point you could call a smile. “I was in a half way to my hiding place when we met, and when I arrived the nearby clock tower chimed once. I was coming from that market area. It was about a 10 minutes’ walk.” 

Ennoshita moved to watch the screen so Kenma could have more space to work. Ennoshita knew how uncomfortable Kenma felt trapped. Soon Kenma stopped the video and pressed play.

“It’s now about 04:25PM… the clock chimes once when it’s half past four and about that time she would arrive if she was going to market area,” Kenma muttered and observed the video. 

Tsukishima furrowed his brows, “Why haven’t our system picked up her earlier?” 

He sounded sour. He had already started to think that you were hiding under a bridge and stayed alive by eating worms, and now he hears that you have been in the one of the biggest cities of Arylean walking around while bumping into people on the streets. It made no sense. His faith towards technology and his own skills were wavering. Tsukishima felt pathetic.

Ennoshita saw Tsukishima’s struggle. He gave a small reassuring smile to the young strategist.

“Our system surely does marvelous job which comes to identify a wanted person but it has its own gaps. The more you hide your face, the harder it comes to identify you. That’s a fact, and (Surname) happens to know it.” Ennoshita turned to see the screen before continuing, “She had a hood on and she was using a hygiene mask, Tsukishima. There is no way our system could identify her especially through these blurry old secure cameras, so please stop scolding yourself.” 

Tsukishima’s expression eased a bit, which made Kuroo, Bokuto, and Sugawara flash sugary smiles at the blonde. Tsukishima grimaced and seemed almost as annoyed as he was a moment ago. He was embarrassed, and the trio found it cute. 

“How did you recognize (Surname)-san?” Akaashi asked and glanced at Ennoshita. 

“Well… we bumped quite hard. You could almost say that we collided since neither of us was looking ahead. I dropped my groceries and she picked up some of them for me after apologizing. Her voice sounded familiar but when she glanced at me I was sure it was (Surname). I also had a glimpse of that bracelet around her wrist.”

Akaashi nodded, but Iwaizumi raised an eye brow in suspicion. It was Oikawa who asked the question that was on his mind, “Did you talk with her?” 

Ennoshita shook his head a bit sadly.

“No, she… she didn’t recognize me.” 

Before anyone could start question him more they heard one low chime coming from the video. Everyone turned their attention on the screen and looked for you. Ennoshita took a step forward and waited. And waited. Waited. Then he noticed you.

“A-ah!” He pointed at you. “There she is! The one with dark jacket!” 

Kenma stopped the video and everyone moved closer. You were wearing some black jacket and white trousers. The hood was on just like Ennoshita had told. You had your hands in the jacket’s pockets. The video showed only your back and where you were moving. But you were there. Slowly Kenma let the video continue: you walked towards the market area and dodged someone before colliding to other. Your walking seemed groggy. After the collision, you stopped and glanced at the person, almost towards the camera, before continuing. Soon you vanished from the picture. 

“P-Play it again…” Bokuto whispered and everyone nodded shakily as an agreement. Kenma felt little troubled how silent everyone had turned but did as he was told. The video started to play again, the clock tower chimed and later you appeared. The Elites watched you hypnotized. It was so reassuring to see you move. You were alive. You were _there_. Hope was welling up again – they could find you. After that you once again vanished again before Kenma started the video again. The Elites seemed to yarn for it.

Daichi moved next to Ennoshita but couldn’t bring his eyes from you. The way you walked troubled him. “How was she?” Daichi asked quietly though he knew that everyone was listening. Ennoshita took a deep breath and looked down. Remorse? Was that what he was feeling? Daichi didn’t like it. 

Ennoshita brought his eyes on you again. “She seemed really drained... her eyes were dim and there were dark circles under them. (Surname) looked straight at me, but didn’t recognize me. Well, I nearly didn’t recognize her either. She immediately hid her face and looked around like - -” 

Ennoshita shut his mouth quickly. _Shit…_ He shouldn’t have done that. 

Daichi turned to Ennoshita but the man refused to meet his eyes. 

“Like… what?” Daichi asked troubled. Ennoshita tried to figure out something to chance the subject but Daichi grabbed his shoulder firmly and turned him to face him. Ennoshita gulped – Daichi’s eyes looked alerted. “Like what, Ennoshita? Tell us.” 

Ennoshita felt everyone’s eyes on him. He tried to say it but only a grunt came out of his mouth. Daichi tilted his head severely, forcing him to answer something.

“(Surname), uh, she l-looked like s-someone was after her,” Ennoshita gulped.

Daichi shook his head. “That’s too obvious. That wasn’t what you were about to say, was it?” Ennoshita opened his mouth to protest but couldn’t do it. Was he really going to lie to his captain about you?

Sugawara came closer. “Please tell us Chikara. We… we really need to know.” 

Ennoshita gulped and nodded. He sighed. “I’m sorry… but she looked so insecure t-that it made me think that… s-she… ah… I b-believe she was scared for her life. She seemed… u-unsteady.” 

Daichi stopped for a moment before lifting his hand from Ennoshita’s shoulder. His expression was… hurt. _Scared for her…?_ He turned his head and shook it little. 

Daichi bit his lip and left the room for a moment. 

Nobody stopped him. When Ennoshita looked around he noticed that everyone seemed to dwell in guiltiness. Kuroo grimaced and hit a wall with his fist before walking to the window and stared into distance. Meanwhile Oikawa brushed his hands through his hair and sighed, and Iwaizumi pressed his hands into fists, Bokuto’s body trembled from emotional outburst. Akaashi grimaced uneasily as he sat back down while Sugawara just stared the video of you. Only then he noticed how alerted you turned when you bumped in one person. Sugawara lifted subconsciously his hand to his mouth.

One thought was spinning painfully in their mind: _you were suffering because of them_. It was a hard blow. Impossible to accept. It truly hurt. They were facing new kind of problem: they had finally found you, but could they continue on? 

Suddenly the door banged shut and Daichi walked towards Ennoshita in a determinate way. His eyes were burning: anger was giving him new power to continue, regret gave him will to change things. To act. Ennoshita straightened his posture when Daichi stopped in front of him. 

“You said that you had glimpsed (Surname) more than once during your stay in Dayton.”

The captain’s voice was deep and powerful. Its severity reached everyone in the room and made them pay attention… just like how a captain should sound like. Sugawara noticed that the knuckles of Daichi’s right hand were bruised and bleeding. The vice-captain grimaced, pained. _He’s desperate._

“Y-Yes, sir!” Ennoshita answered automatically. 

“Pinpoint the places where you saw her and which way she went.” The severe tone in Daichi’s voice told that it an order not a request. Ennoshita immediately moved to Kenma, both of them felt a bit confused but they did how they were told. The map of Dayton replaced the video of you. Soon the map got filled with red dots and small arrows.

Meantime Daichi turned to his team, “Listen up! I know you feel bad right now but we need to act. (Surname) is in this city… and she isn’t feeling well right now.” Everyone’s expressions turned grimmer but Daichi continued, “That’s the main reason why we must find her. We will end this game and take her home _with us_. So she can heal and be with us. This’s our best chance to find her and we won’t throw it away!” 

Determination grew in the Elites. Their captain was right, they needed to find you. 

“Do you copy!?” 

“Copy that!!” Everyone shouted as they got rid of their desperate thoughts. Their eyes shined. They were ready to go again. There was a reason to go again.

For a long time Daichi could smile again. “Good. Let’s create a plan based on the locations where (Surname) was seen. Where could she be hiding? When does she move? Where does she go? After some hypothesizes let’s check those areas precisely on the ground.” 

Everyone nodded and turned towards the map Ennoshita had updated with Kenma. After some thinking everything started to seem clearer. Ennoshita had seen you move on the same area where he had been hiding. With help from the strategist they could find a couple of places which turned out to be possible hiding places. You moved during rush hours but never went same route twice. 

Everyone listened carefully. 

They could finally build a small profile of you. 

 

\--

 

Akaashi left first to look for your possible hiding place. They were suspecting that you were hiding in a cheap old hostel in an area with minimum public surveillance. There was a camera in the hotel’s lobby, pointing straight at the desk and an elevator. The only problem was that people used mainly the back door of the hotel, and the quality of the video was just absolute mess. It was probably impossible to identify Kuroo from Iwaizumi with that quality! They had seen someone like you go through the lobby but they couldn’t be sure. If you had rented a room, you hadn’t used your own name while reserving it and the hostel was quite full. 

Gently Akaashi lowered himself on a roof of a tall building which allowed him to observe the hotel from safe distance. Even though there was distance he wanted to be precise: he placed his long-distance rifle next to a chimney and covered it with blanked which was same colored as the walls. He could take cover and support from the chimney. Then he took as comfortable position as he could on his stomach and observed the hostel. 

“I’m in my position and have clear visual contact to the hostel.”

Daichi answered almost immediately: “[ _Good job. Remain there till sun sets and return to the base in time of darkness. Inform if you need anything._ ]”

“Roger.”

In the meantime, Sugawara and Bokuto were observing the small market area which you had visited a day ago while Iwaizumi, Kuroo and Oikawa moved around in shadows and looked for you aimlessly. It was a rush hour: people ended their jobs and students finished schools for today. People rushed to buy food, went home, or just enjoyed their time otherwise. Still there was no sight of you.

Only after the sun had started to set the Elites got the permission to relax for today. Tsukishima and Ennoshita believed that the Elites didn’t see you today since you had gone to the market yesterday. There was no reason for you to get food. Daichi gave everyone permission to move freely if they changed into casual clothes and behaved. He was quite satisfied even though the situation hadn’t improved. You were in the same city and that was enough for now. 

As the Elites changed the clothes Sugawara found himself thinking of you again. He was really worried about you. You weren’t feeling okay and you were alone somewhere in this city. It frustrated that they hadn’t found you. Akaashi hadn’t seen any movement at the hotel either. 

“[ _I’ll stay here until dark. Stay sharp, she might be still moving around in the city_ ,]” Akaashi had informed them.

“Oi, Suga! You are falling behind!” Sugawara flinched out of his thoughts. Kuroo stared at him, apart from his tired eyes Kuroo looked expressionless. Iwaizumi and Bokuto glanced at him while Oikawa paid no attention. 

Sugawara sighed, “Coming, coming…” 

But he was not in a mood to relax. How could he relax when everything reminded him from your uneasiness? You weren’t relaxed, he was sure of it. Kuroo suggested that they could go for beers before getting food and returning to “the base”. Oikawa and Iwaizumi agreed a little reluctantly while Bokuto agreed right away. Sugawara felt ill. There was no way he would drink beer right now. 

“I’ll pass.” 

“C’mon Suga! Especially you should try to relax,” Kuroo sighed.

“You need pure luck to find her on your own,” Iwaizumi agreed with Kuroo. The Elites turned towards the vice-captain waiting. 

“Then wish me luck,” Sugawara sounded tired but managed to smile little. The Elites understood immediately that Sugawara wouldn’t back down. He just couldn’t calm down after hearing that you were in the same city. They wished him luck and Sugawara headed off. 

He had no idea where he should look for you. He walked aimlessly on streets as evening was setting. He was in his thoughts, forgetting the time. He thought where you would feel safest. _She always takes a run when she feels stressed_ , Sugawara thought and stopped. Something told him to go near to the sea. The air was cleaner and moister there. Sound of waves was almost as calming as sound of wind in trees. You might be there. 

As he made his way down towards the shore he saw a mother appear with her son from the right. The woman seemed a bit shaken as she checked behind her before continuing their journey. The child had no glue what was happening. They made their way up, past Sugawara, before vanishing. _Was her eyes (e/c)…?_ Sugawara wondered absently.

Curiosity mixed with a slight troubled feeling made Sugawara want to check what was happening. He turned right. A narrow street ended to a larger one. There wasn’t much people, just some group chatted on a terrace of a small cafeteria which was already closing. Sugawara glanced back troubled, _maybe I imagined it?_

He was about to turn back when a sudden movement drew his attention: a panicky person ran from an alley which was down on the street. The man glanced back but didn’t dare to stop. Sugawara frowned, _what is happening here?_ He didn’t take risks and contacted others: everyone was still wearing communication equipment which included a see-through earpiece and a small fixable microphone. Sugawara lifted his shirt’s collar closer to his mouth.

“Something is happening here. People seem restless.”

Sugawara didn’t wait answer and moved ahead. He brought his hand on a handgun which was hidden under his shirt’s tail.

He heard a low laughing coming from the alley. 

“[ _Is the situation threatening?_ ]” Daichi didn’t sound alerted but there was a hint of concern in his voice.

“[ _Do you need support?_ ]” Iwaizumi asked in serious manner. There was loud people around him, Sugawara could hear laughing and shouting. 

But before he could answer, another person stepped out of the alley. Sugawara’s grip around the handgun tightened when the person with red hoodie and black pants stopped to look around before stepping on the street entirely. Then there was an eye contact and the person stopped, froze. 

Sugawara felt his heart skip a beat.

You stared at him your eyes wide open, your lips parted slightly from shock.

Sugawara inhaled sharply, _(Name)_. You (h/c) hair was on a messy bun but you looked beautiful all the same. So beautiful. Dark areas under your eyes told that you were exhausted. For a moment it looked like you would have eased off; your shocked expression softened, your gaze warmed and corners of your mouth twitched upwards little.

Sugawara could hear a low voice come behind from the same alley you were standing and your expression immediately changed. You seemed to become paler and you bit your lips shut as you turned to look at your feet. There was panic in your eyes, sweat drops on your temple. This alerted Sugawara.

_Why weren’t you running?_

Sugawara took a step at you, which made you flinch. “(Na- -)!” 

Sugawara stopped when he saw a pipe of handgun being pressed against your neck. The pipe touched your skin and pushed you strongly, forcing you to take a step ahead to the street. Sugawara felt blood escape his face. Your jaw was trembling as you moved to the street and a malevolent looking man walked after you with two others. Sugawara moved quickly behind a corner. He loaded his gun. 

_What is happening?!_

The man whispered to your ear something before giving your ear a peck. You turned away in disgust and the men laughed. Sugawara felt his blood boil in his veins as he contacted others. “Blood Brothers! They have (Name) at gunpoint!” he hissed. One of the men ran somewhere while others waited.

This time it didn’t take long for answer to come, “[ _Kuroo and others are coming! How many of them are there?_ ]” Daichi sounded terrified now. This was a turn nobody wanted to face. Sugawara was changing the rubber bullets into real ones but he knew he wouldn’t manage long. He would run out too soon.

Sugawara peeked at the alley again, “At least three. There may be more in the alley.” A car drove to the street, and in that moment Sugawara understood. “A car! They are going to drive her away! I must stop them now!” 

He couldn’t wait. 

“[ _Don’t do anything rash!_ ]” Kuroo shouted. He was running. 

Too late.

Sugawara took a deep breath and jumped from his hiding place, “/ _Freeze!_ /” 

He aimed at the man with a gun. Everyone turned surprised at Sugawara. The moment when the man who was holding you at gunpoint turned at Sugawara, you reacted. With swift movement you dived under the gun, took hold of the Blood Brother’s arm and planted a kick to his ribs with your knee. The man fell on his knees and the gun dropped from his hand. A Blood Brother jumped from the car and opened fire at Sugawara. You crunched down, so the driver wouldn’t start aiming at you, and tried to catch the gun, but another man stepped on the gun and pointed a gun at you… and then blood splattered from his head. The man dropped down dead. The man, the group’s leader who you had kicked, was backing down and taking cover from the alley.

You glanced at Sugawara horrified as you crawled to take cover from the car. You had managed to get the gun but you felt helpless. Lost. Where had Sugawara come from? Why was he in Dayton? Were the others in the city too? Had they found you? The man who drove the car dropped down dead but Sugawara had to reload. You saw more Blood Brothers approach from the alley. You had counted about seven of them when one of them had recognized you. Getting caught had been so stupid of you; you had been so focused on not being seen by the security cameras that you had forgotten that the Elites weren’t only ones looking for you. You had literally walked to their laps. 

The car gave you weak cover but you still opened fire. You hit two of the men but one of them managed to shoot back at you before going down. A bullet grazed your arm which made you shout in pain and fall back. Sugawara glanced at you, frightened. The Blood Brothers shooting only at you now which forced you to back away. Your arm was bleeding but you shot back, it didn’t take long for you to run out of bullets. You glanced at Sugawara in panic and threw the gun away. 

“Please hurry!” Sugawara shouted to the microphone. 

One of the man approached you but when he stepped out of the alley Sugawara opened fire again. He missed, but at least the Blood Brothers weren’t focused on you anymore. But this didn’t mean that you were safe. You had managed to crawl behind the car, but you were still aimed. Sugawara gulped, he would soon run out of bullets too and there was no way he allowed you to be in attendance when that happened. Those men wanted _you_. 

Sugawara glanced at you, his brown eyes gleamed from severity. “RUN (NAME)!” 

You stared at the light grey-haired man shocked as you covered your head. You opened your mouth to protest but you couldn’t find your voice. _But what about you?!_ Sugawara noticed that you were objecting. Or hadn’t you heard? He shot a couple of times before glancing at you again.

“LEAVE! NOW!!” 

You flinched, Sugawara seemed so desperate. You bit your lower lip and forced yourself on your feet. When Sugawara shot at the men again you dashed at an alley closest to you. One bullet hit the wall right next to you but soon you vanished from the enemy’s sight. 

Sugawara felt weirdly pained relief when you were gone. At least you would survive from this. That was enough for him. He could protect you even little.

Suddenly he heard shouting and a Blood Brother ran straight at him. Sugawara felt chills and shot at the man twice. The man spat blood and died at Sugawara’s feet, but another man came right behind the dead one. Sugawara raised the gun and aimed, he pulled the trigger but heard only a small click. 

_S-Shit!!_

The man tackled him to the ground. They wrestled and threw punches at each other. Sugawara got the upper hand and managed to get on his feet. He planted a sharp kick to Blood Brother’s stomach. Out of the blue, horrible pain shot through the back of his head and stars appeared to his vision. Blood ran down his gray hair as his legs gave in under him. He glanced behind him, the man who had held you at gunpoint grinned sarcastically at him, _I forgot him…_

Sugawara managed to stay conscious.

The man said something to the Blood Brother, who was already getting to his feet. The Blood Brother gripped Sugawara’s hair and pulled him on his knees. The pain was burning but Sugawara refused to show it. He bit his lips and huffed through his nostrils as the leader of the group gripped Sugawara’s hair with his left hand and forced him to look at him. He smiled and waved a knife in his right hand in front of the Elite before saying something in Velarian. He pointed at the alley and car where the bloody bodies were lying, Sugawara almost knew what he was saying. Sugawara recognized some words such as ‘shoot’, ‘friend’, ‘bad’, ‘fail’… and then the Blood Brother said your name, ‘(Name) (Surname)’ and then another name, ‘(FakeName)’. 

_What was that?_ He laughed and said something about understanding. _I don’t understand._

His grip on Sugawara’s hair tightened as his face turned darker. Sugawara gritted his teeth and grimaced because of pain. The leader of the Blood Brother group played with the knife with one hand before taking sure grip on it. “/ _Die_ /”, the man suddenly said emotionlessly and raised the knife while the other man pulled Sugawara’s hair so his throat was exposed. 

Sugawara swallowed hard and took a deep breath. _This is it_ , Sugawara though and felt weird ticklish feeling in his stomach. He stared straight at the Blood Brother eyes. He wouldn’t waver. Sugawara was an Elite of the Crow’s Nest. He wouldn’t waver.

The man grinned. Sugawara could see the man muscles twitch… 

…and then someone’s right arm appeared under the man’s right armpit and shot up to back of the Blood Brother’s neck locking the knife arm still. At the same time the left arm sank a blade straightly into the Blood Brother’s throat under his left shoulder. The movements were so quick that the man still smiled when the blade was deep in his throat. Sugawara stared his eyes wide open at the Blood Brother, whose smile died as blood filled his mouth and his crazy eyes turned confused. There was a quick twist following a snapping sound as the man’s spine cracked and blood flooded from his mouth abundantly. The man’s eyes rolled over. 

Sugawara stared at you in shock as you let the man fall on the ground between you. Your (e/c) eyes gleamed fatality though your expression was otherwise blank. Sugawara had seen those eyes before. 

_(N-Name)…_

You shot your eyes at the last remaining Blood Brother. Sugawara could feel the grip on his hair loosen, he could hear the man whimper as he tried to flee. You breathed out, took a step at Sugawara, and suddenly vanished from Sugawara’s vision. _Huh?_ His eyes widened when he heard a step behind him and then the Blood Brother’s screaming. 

Sugawara turned around and managed just to see you sliced the Blood Brother throat from ear to ear with one confident movement. Blood splattered all over the street as the man twitched on his back before laying still, eyes wide open. You stared at the man for a moment before turning around. 

When your eyes met both of you froze. 

There was blood on your hands and sleeves, some blood had splattered on your shirt and cheek too. You observed Sugawara’s damages. His head was bleeding quite badly, his beautiful silver hair was bloodstained. This was so fucked up situation, your heart wanted to ask if he was okay while your brains screamed ‘ _Run you asshole! He’s safe and he has support coming, you will only get caught if you stay!_ ’ but then again… wouldn’t getting caught just end this suffering? 

This pain could end right now.

Sugawara saw that your eyes had softened but you seemed to be afraid. Or worried. He couldn’t tell anymore. The only thing he was sure about was that he wanted to fuss over you, to hug you and tell you that everything was okay. That there was no need to be afraid anymore. He wanted desperately tell you that you were the bravest and smartest woman he had ever met but…

…but how could he? The game was still on and Sugawara knew that he was not allowed to capture you in this kind of situation. The two of you were still ‘enemies’. He had promised to Daichi to _catch_ you. He had promised _himself_ to get you home.

He had to say something… You had to say something…

“(N-Name) - ..!” “Suga, I - ..!”

So you idiots decided to speak at the same time. 

Both of you got startled by other’s voice. You had lost your voice while Sugawara had lost his words. You stared at each other helpless.

Only then you heard the sirens of police cars. They were coming towards the street. Not too far away. The blood of the dead men flowed peacefully downhill towards Sweat Sea as the sun was setting. You turned towards Sugawara confused, _what am I supposed to do?_

The sirens echoed from walls loudly. 

Sugawara turned to see if anyone was in attendance, but it seemed that the two of you were only ones on that bloody street. People had scrammed long time ago. He sighed a small sad smile on his lips and turned to you, 

“You better go, (Name).” 

You stared at the Elite shocked, _huh?_ He was telling you to leave again… but you were right there. He could capture you, couldn’t he? You shook your head slightly as you took a small step towards him. The sirens were really loud now. You still had that bloody blade in your hand. Sugawara shook his head, forcing you to stop. 

You opened your mouth to speak. _Just capture - -_

“(Name), go.” 

Sugawara looked dead serious. His caring and worried expression had melted away and now he stared at you coldly. Or at least he tired. Disbelief washed over you. Your bit your teeth together to prevent your chin from trembling. You glanced at the wall which had started to flash red and blue in turns. “ _You better go, (Name)._ ” rang in your head. Your heart stung as you glared at Sugawara. “ _You better go, (Name)._ ” You threw the blade on the ground in front of him before running down the street. Past the car and the bodies. When the police cars arrived at the street, you were long gone. 

Sugawara sat in a puddle of blood in the middle of corpses, staring into distance when the Elites arrived. It had taken longer than they had expected. Sugawara had walked quite a while in the city and he hadn’t been wearing his chip since he had changed into casual clothes. Locals had leaded the police to Sugawara. 

Iwaizumi reached Sugawara first. He crunched down and shook Sugawara out of his daze, “Are you hurt?!” 

Sugawara stared at Iwaizumi’s green eyes a short moment before shaking his head. Only then he remembered the hit he had received to back of his head. He groaned and pointed at the back of his head. Iwaizumi immediately started to press the wound with his jacket. Soon Kuroo, Oikawa and Bokuto arrived. They observed the bloodshed on the street dumbfounded as the local polices checked every corpse. They found one survivor who you had shot to stomach and the Blood Brother was sent to a hospital. 

“Where’s she?” Oikawa asked as his eyes scanned the area.

Sugawara sighed, “She fled… I told her to go.” The men stared at the vice-captain confused but soon nodded with small gestures. Iwaizumi waved a couple of paramedics to check Sugawara. As they washed and cleaned the wound Sugawara told what had happened. It was soon clear that Sugawara needed stiches and so he was taken to the hospital too. Kuroo went with him.

In the ambulance Sugawara stared through the floor of the car while thinking of you. There was so many questions in his mind. Why did that Blood Brother know you? Who (FakeName) was? How had you gotten into that kind of situation in the first place? 

Kuroo watched his friend troubled.

“If you want to talk about her, feel free to do so. You don’t need to dwell with those thoughts alone… and Daichi probably will not let that happen anyway.” 

Sugawara blinked a few times before smiling tiredly, “Thank you, Kuroo, but I really need to clear my head… especially before I face him. He probably waits for answers and I can give him only questions right now.”

Kuroo nodded. He was about to say something again but Sugawara was already in his thoughts. _He wouldn’t hear me anyway_ , Kuroo thought and sighed.

Sugawara furrowed, the expression that you had given him right before fleeing that haunted him. Had you thrown that blade as a protest? Why had you looked so hopeless?

_Did you cry, (Name)?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that I'm late with this chapter! T ^ T My life is crazy with school, work, and well, with _surviving_ in the first place. I just hope I don't go crazy under all this pressure too, haha...ha... 
> 
> I can already tell that the next chapter will be late too, so I apologize in advance! I read your comments and got so so happy again; I get so much inspiration and strength to continue <3 I promise you'll get it at the latest on December!


	11. The maze

You refused to stop running. It was hard to breathe; your sides stung, and your lungs burned, but you refused to stop. They were after you. They were in Dayton. The Elites were _here_. How had they found you? How had the enemy found you? Were there more of them? There were so many confusing questions in your mind, but you had no time to think about them. You felt so lost… and guilty. Once again you wiped dampness from your eyes; there was no way you would cry. It never helped.

You gritted your teeth, _I almost got Sugawara killed!!_ How could you have messed up that badly? You were seriously losing your grip from reality. How long could you survive like this? When you got closer the hotel where you had been hiding, you finally slowed down and walked peacefully the rest of the way. Usually you used the back door or made your way to our room through the roof. You rarely used the front door, but you couldn’t care less right now. The Elites knew you were in Dayton so they probably already knew you were staying in that crappy hotel anyway.

Akaashi spotted you. He was informed that you were wearing a red hoodie and there you were. You weren’t even trying to hide yourself.

“I see (Surname). She’s entering the hotel.” He observed the hotel and after some time Akaashi could see one hotel room’s window light up on the third floor. Soon you opened the window which was facing Akaashi’s way. “I have visual contact to her room.”

Akaashi observed you a moment.

“[ _Don’t do anything. How is she?_ ]” Daichi sounded really worried. Everybody was aware of what had happened to you and the captain was clearly distressed about it. “[ _How’s her arm?_ ]”

You walked around the room, disoriented. Suddenly you flinched and stopped. You threw the red hoodie on the ground in frustrated manner and checked the wound. It was bleeding quite badly.

“She has a bleeding wound on her arm but she’s already checking it,” Akaashi answered to Daichi, calmly.

You vanished to a bathroom and after a while you came back. Now there was a bandage on your arm. You sat on the end of the bed and buried your face in your hands. Soon you jumped up and walked around in the room while holding your hands behind your head. Akaashi understood you felt lost. You wandered around the room before you suddenly yanked the bracelet off your hand and threw it at the wall before hiding your face in your hands again.

Something turned inside Akaashi, “She looks really upset. She’s walking around the room furiously.” Were you crying? Soon you lowered your hands and sat on your bed again, your back towards the window. You fell on the bed and stared at the ceiling a good while. “It seems (Surname)-san has no intentions to go anywhere.”

Akaashi swallowed laboredly, it was hard to see you so stressed and helpless. Akaashi really wished that he would be given permission to go get you.

“How do we proceed?”

“[ _We don’t proceed for now. Let’s give her some time to collect her thoughts and let’s see how she’ll continue._ ]”

_We let this go on?_ Akaashi’s lips made a thin line of discomfort, but an order was an order.

For a moment Akaashi thought that you had fallen asleep but after a half of hour lying you stood up and closed the window and pulled the curtains on. The air was getting cooler as darkness fell on the city. Still you refused to leave the room. It took another hour before Akaashi saw movement in the room again. You were walking around once again. Suddenly the lights went out from the room.

“Lights are out,” Akaashi informed the others as he took his position again. It took some time before you stepped out of the building. You had changed your shirt to a (color) dress shirt and you had let down your (h/c) hair. You had a small shoulder bag with you. Akaashi stared at you, confused, “She’s moving again but… she isn’t even trying to hide anymore.”

What was up? You were moving towards the center. You surely knew that there were more security cameras.

“[ _Stay in your position, Akaashi, she may run back soon. We’ll take care of her for now_ ,]” Daichi informed calmly. Akaashi could hear him running in stairs. “[ _Inform us about her moves, but don’t follow her._ ]”

You had had it.

You were exhausted; you knew you were suffering from malnutrition and exhaustion but you just couldn’t eat or sleep. Thanks to that exhaustion you couldn’t take care of yourself anymore. Sugawara got hurt because of you and your weak state. For nothing. Two years ago, you hadn’t needed to care about anyone else but you. Two years ago, you had a reason to survive through this kind of fucked up situation, but now you were just told to run around aimlessly. To avoid something you really didn’t need to avoid. There was no motive nor goal. This was a game. You were just suffering without a proper reason.

_I want this shit to end,_ you thought as you moved quickly towards the centrum of Dayton. _I can’t take it anymore._

Fuck the tittle.

Meanwhile, in the temporary base the identification system finally spotted you. It felt like it hadn’t happened in years. Tsukishima smiled little to the screen as he observed your movements. He had found you.

“[ _Iwaizumi, Oikawa, she is moving towards you. From north._ ]”

Oikawa and Iwaizumi moved on the busy street while looking for you while Daichi explained to them what they planned. Sugawara was still at the hospital with Kuroo, but they were assumed to get out in five minutes. This meant they would be ready for action in fifteen minutes. They needed every man on the field if they planned to catch you if you tried to trick them once again.

“There she is,” Oikawa whispered suddenly as he looked ahead.

You were walking towards them… and you had noticed them already. Your (e/c) orbs observed Iwaizumi and Oikawa, fixedly. The men felt their heartbeats quicken under your stare. Iwaizumi whispered to his microphone, which was fixed on his black tank top, that you had spotted them. You seemed to gulp as you changed your course to left. The men followed you quickly but you didn’t try to run away. Instead you moved calmly towards a night club. A bouncer at the door stopped you for a moment, but after you quickly showed him some identification he let you go in. You glanced at the men blankly before stepping in.

The men stopped, and Iwaizumi contacted the others, “(Surname) went in a night club. It seems that she isn’t eager to run away anymore. How do we proceed?”

“[ _We are almost at the back door of the night club. I think we need a man to go inside,_ ]” Daichi informed the others before Kenma contacted everyone.

“[ _It seems her motives has changed since she doesn’t seem to care about the security cameras anymore. This is just a hypothesis but she might want to talk somebody… there’s the possibility that she’s giving up._ ]”

Giving up? It felt absurd. Yes, you had been in serious situation with the Blood Brothers and Sugawara but was it really enough to make you give up? Oikawa glanced at Iwaizumi who gulped, troubled. He didn’t like that shine in the brown-haired Elite’s eyes. _He’s going to talk to her._

Oikawa flashed a smile and fished a pair of handcuffs from Iwaizumi’s jeans’ back pocket. “I’m going in. Secure the front and back doors.”

Iwaizumi was about to complain (and hit) and stop the brown-haired Elite but Daichi managed to give his opinion before it happened, “[ _Oikawa, we don’t know her motives so stay alert. Don’t let her trick you. Inform us immediately what is happening if you have the chance. Do **not** threaten her._ ]”

“Yes, yes,” Oikawa answered composedly as he faced the bouncer at the door. The man stared at him ominously but when Oikawa flashed him his military identity card with a cunning smile on his lips, the bouncer turned paler and moved aside. Oikawa walked past him smoothly, “I’m in ~ ”

Seeing Iwaizumi and Oikawa after so long time made you lose your cool. For a moment you had felt like fainting from stress which was not like you at all. Why had you decided to go in a night club? Weren’t you supposed to get caught?

Your mind was wavering.

In the night club the music was loud and lights flashed in many colors. It took a moment to get used to multitude of drunk men and women. The place smelled like fake-smoke and sweat mixing with beer and perfumes. You glanced behind you before you moved on the dance floor. People pushed you, stumbled and laughed. After you found a spot with less people you tried to think your actions once again.

Why did you feel so stressed? What had happened to your intentions to end this shit? Was this good idea? Why were you even thinking these things? You were having second thoughts.

Some drunk man stumbled and collided with you quite hard. He turned to see you and he started to lisp something to you while moving closer to you. He tried to touch you but you backed away, _I don’t have time for this._ The man smiled oddly and tried to get closer to you again, you really didn’t want to cause any scene, but the man was really annoying you. As you backed away again you bumped into someone. A muscular chest… and suddenly the man behind you leaned down and caught your right wrist with his left hand, pressing you against him in progress, and a cold metal piece was tightened around your wrist. Your eyes widened in shock _._ The handcuff linked your right hand to his left one. The man behind you pressed his cheek against the left side of your head and spoke to the drunkard in front of you.

“/  _I’m afraid she’s mine now_. /”

Oikawa’s voice was soft as silk but the way the drunkard in front of you turned pale signaled that Oikawa’s eyes weren’t so warmhearted towards him. The man instantly backed away while showing his palms to Oikawa as a sign that he didn’t want any troubles.

You could feel Oikawa’s smile in your hair. You were found, _thank god._ Oikawa straightened his back and lifted his left hand up, forcing you to turn around. Trapped. When your eyes met with Oikawa’s chocolate brown ones your heart skipped a beat, _oh god._ Your shocked face made Oikawa smile cunningly while his smile make you gulp. For a moment you just stared at each other before some girls bumped in Oikawa’s back. The man glanced the girls and made them turn bright red, and after a smile the girls squealed in awe. You felt somehow incredibly annoyed.

Oikawa walked to a bar counter and naturally forced you to follow him. At the bar counter he stopped and pulled you closer. Slowly Oikawa pressed his mouth closer to your ear. You saw him wearing a see-through earpiece of a headset, a wire moved along his neck to his collar where a small microphone was fixed. You could smell a shampoo from his hair, and the sweet scent from his neck. It was somehow… calming. Or were you getting mad? You felt lost.

“How are you feeling?” Oikawa sounded a bit severe but gentle.

You tried to figure out some snarky answer but you realized that your mind was totally blank. There was nothing. How were you actually feeling?

“I d-don’t know… confused? Maybe?”

“What makes you feel confused, (Name)-chan?”

_(Name)-chan,_ you thought and frowned. Didn’t you hate it when he called you that? It was supposed to annoy you, make you want to slap him… and now that nickname made you feel so safe. It was almost scary. How messed up did you have to be?

“Probably the fact that Sugawara didn’t catch me on that street, but you guys came after me now. What was that all about?”

Oikawa made a sound that resembled a chuckle but you couldn’t be sure. The music drowned it. Oikawa pulled away little and fixed his hair before looking at you. He had a small gentle smile on his lips as he closed the distance between your ear and his lips once again.

_He’s doing this purposely,_ you thought, annoyed, as you fought against the urge of pulling away and hitting him.

“It’s reassuring to know that there’s also things you don’t know about us.” You felt chills, Oikawa sounded a little bit too judgmental for your taste. Oikawa noticed your discomfort and he pressed his temple against your hair. You could feel his smile as he continued, “The Elites must capture the runaway by their own hands, without support of any outsiders. Not even the supportive teams’ members are allowed to touch the runaway. It _must_ always be an Elite. In your case, (Name)-chan, it was those Blood Brothers who caught you first which didn’t give Sugawara a permission to catch you when the situation was over. It’s against our rules.”

Your eyes widened in shock, _he was following… the rules?_ Why didn’t he say anything?

“B-but… Kuroo also almost had me in Alejai… why didn’t he catch me?”

Oikawa lifted his chin on your head and gave a short laugh, “Our priority was to catch Mashur and there was no room for a mistake. Well… Kuroo made a mistake anyway, but that happened only because he was forced to focus on Mashur and the person he accompanied with.”

_A mistake?_ At first it made no sense but the more you thought about it the more you understood. Even the Elites made mistakes. Everything made sense finally. These men were after you for real. The Elites were really trying to catch you with their talents while following the rules they were given.

Meanwhile you had thought that…

_Shit… I have been such an idiot._

To Oikawa’s surprise you leaned closer and pressed your forehead against his chest and sighed. Oikawa straightened up immediately, confused from the fact you were approaching him. That had never happened before. What was he supposed to do? Oikawa could sense that your body was trembling. From frustration? Fear? Maybe relief? He could feel you open your mouth to speak so he leaned closer.

“…just horrible,” you said, which sounded like a whisper as loud music drowned your voice. “I had a feeling that… I thought you… you didn’t want to catch me.” You gritted your teeth and grabbed Oikawa’s shirt. Your fist trembled. Oikawa felt sad and somehow happy, you were looking for support from him. You were leaning on him in your weak moment.

Oikawa tried to hug you but the handcuff made it quite awkward so he ended up just pressing you closer to his body with his free hand. He could feel you tense up. After burying his nose gently in your hair, he spoke, “We would never abandon you just like that. We have wanted to catch you for a whole week.”

You could feel his breath in your hair. You moved your hands to Oikawa’s back to hug him. Oikawa moved his handcuffed arm back his bag so you could hug him. The position was a bit difficult for him but he didn’t care, you seemed to need it.

“This has been so awful,” you admitted as you lifted your chin to Oikawa’s collarbone. The exhaustion in your voice was real, you were feeling so broken. So freaking tired to all this shit. Oikawa could feel your hands move on his back, taking up a better position. You weren’t going to let go of him any time soon, it seemed. “I have hated every second of this. I haven’t been able to sleep or eat. I have put effort into this only - - “

“Shhh… It’s okay,” Oikawa tried to calm you. It was rare that you actually told what was on your mind, but he didn’t want you to blame yourself. Oikawa tilted his head so his cheek was against your head, “It’s over (Na -) - “

“ - - only to think that you were going easy on me,” you finished your sentence.

Oikawa silenced down and furrowed. Had he heard you properly?

“I thought that you were nice towards me like you always are. That this is a game and you didn’t take it seriously. Like in Alejai, Kuroo could have caught me but went just past me, and Sugawara let me go even though I stood in front of him. I thought that you felt bad for me and allowed me to continue this stupid game. You had changes to catch me but you didn’t… so I made this easy for you. I came here to give up so you wouldn’t need to keep this show up… and now I hear that you have done everything seriously while following _rules_. Like some _perfect soldiers_.”

The tone in your voice turned sourer and colder as you went on. The last words left your lips sharp as daggers. You sounded almost angry. Frustrated.

Oikawa felt chills, “(N-Name)-chan?”

Suddenly you pushed Oikawa towards the bar counter and there was a click as your handcuffs touched something. Metal had touched metal. Oikawa’s eyes widened in shock as you pulled slightly away from him. Cold air hit Oikawa’s stomach when your warmth left it.

“I made a mistake when I decided to come here.”

You lifted your gaze to Oikawa’s chocolate brown eyes. Only then Oikawa understood your words, _she came here to get caught._ But had something changed in you? It felt like your eyes shined in the disco lights. You were once again serious. Confident even.

Angry.

You sighed and leaned at Oikawa again but this time you just pulled the microphone from his shirt’s collar closer to talk. Your (e/c) orbs never broke the eye contact with Oikawa. It was hypnotizing. You clicked the line open from the side of the microphone.

“I understood your motives wrong. I started this training dead-serious but started to feel that you were just playing around with me, and I’m sorry about it. I won’t step astray anymore.”

Then you dropped the microphone and just walked away.

Oikawa felt his body tremble and he lunged after you. He heard loud clacking behind him and couldn’t reach you. He glanced back: his left wrist was handcuffed to the bar counter’s rail. When he shot his eyes at you he could see you throw a twisted bobby pin on the ground before vanishing on to the dance floor. Oikawa felt dumbfounded. Blood was humming in his ears.

“[ _What was that, Oikawa?!_ ]” Daichi’s panicked shout brought Oikawa back to reality. He clicked his teeth and gripped his microphone, hastily.

“I need back up! She tricked me and is leaving the night club!”

“[ _Go after her, idiot!_ ]” Iwaizumi shouted as he rushed closer to the door.

“I can’t! She handcuffed me here and you have the keys!!”

“[ _You fucking - -_ !!]”

Out of the blue the fire alarm went off. The dance floor’s colorful lights shut down and bright white lights turned on, the music stopped, and water started to squirt from the ceiling. People panicked. _Shit, she activated the fire alarm!_ Everybody was suggested to go outside and people started to rush outside from every door. Iwaizumi tried to check everyone one by one but panic made people swarm out from the night club. He was losing his count.

“ _[Stay sharp! (Surname)’s probably trying to slip away by the aid of these people!]_ ” Daichi was with Bokuto at the back door. Kuroo arrived to help Iwaizumi soon and together they checked the front door. There was no sign of you. Had you slipped away? Wet people massed in the front of the night club confused, their stuffs were still inside in the cloakroom. Their presence made their work harder.

_Where are you?!_

When the night club was empty Iwaizumi rushed in. Maybe you had hidden yourself in there. He found Oikawa from the bar counter, soaked and broken. He refused to meet Iwaizumi’s eyes. Iwaizumi could see his friend grit his teeth in frustration, there was no need to scold him anymore. Iwaizumi opened the handcuffs without a word; Oikawa had clearly tried to get out of the handcuffs since his wrist was quite bruised.

After freeing Oikawa, Iwaizumi slapped the man to his back, “Explain this later. She might still be in here so help me look for her.”

Oikawa’s eyes shined with gratitude as he nodded, and they checked every hiding place. It was Iwaizumi who found wet footsteps on stairway which leaded to a room meant only for employees. The room was a simple resting area with a balcony… and that balcony was enough to know you had already left the building. While everybody had focused on people who scurried out, you had slipped away through the roof where nobody watched. It was impossible to know which way you had went.

“(Surname) probably escaped through the balcony of the employee’s recess room.”

Everyone looked around the area while Tsukishima and Kenma looked for you from elsewhere. You hadn’t gone back to the hotel yet at least. The darkness disturbed their searching even more.

You had vanished once again.

 

* * *

 

 

The weather in Dayton was getting windy, and storm clouds were building up in the horizon. It would rain soon, maybe even accompanied by thunder. You sat on a huge windowsill, watching and listening. The air inside was filled with the smell of incenses and wax. Smoke was climbing up towards the high ceiling, kissing the walls and paintings as it danced in dim light. Like a smoky snake reaching for the sky. You were deep in your thoughts as you reminisced the events that had happened the day before; your weak state, the Blood Brothers, your sudden meeting with the Elites, the explanations you had heard, the feelings you had felt, the questions which still haunted you…

“/ _Your scowling will only anger the coming storm, dear child,_ /” Priest Oscarion said calmly as he smothered the incenses and candles with a silver candle extinguisher. His voice was slightly husky, which reminded you from your uncle’s voice. But Oscarion was kinder than your uncle. He listened to you and he actually understood you. “/ _I understand your worry but you should focus on pacifying thoughts and healing yourself. They don’t know you well enough to find you from here._ /“

He smiled warmly to you before continuing his work. He was wearing a light gray robe, the hem reaching to his ankles and his sleeves to his wrists. You watched the smoke dance its way up.

“/ _What am I supposed to do if they find me?_ /”

“/ _They won’t find you, my child, otherwise they would already be here. It was a risky choice to come here to hide since there is clear connection between you and me. This isn’t the first time I have hidden you, sweet (Name)!_ /”

The priest hummed as he smothered the last candles.

Oscarion was old and wise, and once again he was right. If the Elites knew your connection to the priest, they would had checked the cathedral first. It was Oscarion who had found you about three years ago when you had been a heartbroken and lost girl, running away while struggling against a high fever that your wound had caused. You could have died that night. It was Oscarion who had saved you, who had fed, tended to, and hid you.

Now you were once again chased, injured, hungry, and in hiding. Remembering the past made guilt swell inside you uncomfortably.

“/ _I’m sorry to cause your burden, father,_ /” you whispered.

After your latest escape, it had been hard to make the Elites lose your tracks, so you had slipped in the cathedral you knew. You hadn’t thought even once how this effected on him. _I’m only causing him troubles._

“/ _Please don’t look like that child, since I don’t mind about this at all. It is pleasure to help you_. /”

His voice was so soft and healing. Combining it with his warm and welcoming appearance made him really seem like a saint.

You smiled weakly before falling in your deep thoughts again. What were you supposed to do? You had almost turned yourself in but ended up running a second later. All because you understood them wrong. _Damn, why must this be this hard?_ You couldn’t make proper decisions anymore.

Priest Oscarion sighed, you were making such an angry face again. “/ _Since this is a mission to test your abilities and capabilities, I think you should follow the orders you were given. Isn’t it your duty as a soldier?_ /”

He made sense; it was your duty. Daichi and the others were expecting you to follow the orders you were given. That’s why they were also doing their best. But the fact that the Elites of the special forces of the Allied Guards were seriously after you still terrified you. You wanted it to stop _. I feel so insecure._ You just couldn’t forget the feeling you got when Oikawa had hugged you in the night club. Or when Sugawara had saved you.

“/ _This isn’t the same what it was back then (Name), try to understand that. They are just testing your skills, not hunting you down… they wouldn’t hurt you, /_ ” Oscarion said as he walked behind the altar.

You grimaced as you stared at the coming storm, you knew that the situation wasn’t same. Maybe that made you suffer so much. You wanted to do your best and end this game as quickly as possible at the same time. The priest came back from the altar with a basket. He waved you to join him. There were fruits and bread in the basket. Oscarion started to peel a green apple for you. Just like back then, he made you feel like you were a child again.

You sighed as you lowered yourself from the windowsill, “/ _So I will just continue my mission and avoid to get caught…_ /” The priest hummed and nodded as he offered you the peeled apple chunks. You took the apples but hesitated, “/ _It can cause me to stay here longer, father._ /”

_They hadn’t discovered this place after all…_ it was better for you to say as still as possible. The less you showed your face outside, the better chances you had to survive till the end of this training.

“/ _As I said this isn’t the first time I have hidden you under the roof of my temple, fufu…_ /” He laughed sweetly as you ate the apple with a good appetite. He peeled one for himself as he spoke, “/ _Stay as long as you find it necessary. I will hide you over and over again, dear child of mine._ /”

You felt warm and somehow found yourself wanting to hug the old man. It was quite weird, you used to hate being touched. As you ate, Oscarion reminded you about the rules of the cathedral, about the schedules and where you could hide during ceremonies. Oscarion suggested that you would hide under the altar in the small crypt. It wasn’t as cold as the huge crypts under the cathedral and you could hear when somebody entered or went out.

The fastest way to slip under the altar was a way under the stairs to the altar. First you needed to crawl under the stairs and make sure the curtain, that hid the way, was neatly in place before sliding into the crypt. There was a tomb… or more like a coffin made from grey stone in the middle of the small open space. Still you had plenty room to move in there. It was quite well lit too, the light got in from small gaps situated to the crypt’s ceiling which made sure that air changed in the crypt. From the gaps, you could see what happened inside the temple.

Oscarion had prepared a fluffy blanked, pillow, and thin sleeping underlay for you, which felt as if he was spoiling you.

The closing storm made the weather darken quicker, the night was also falling so Oscarion decided to head home. Before going, he checked the wound in your arm once again and promised once again bring you medicine. He left the basket to you so you could eat if you found your appetite. This was another feature which you admired in Priest Oscarion; he never forced you to do anything, but he gently wished you to do something and you did it so you wouldn’t feel bad later. Easy. You knew already that the basket would be empty in the morning. Oscarion had wished you to eat after all.

On the front door of the cathedral he turned to you. The priest looked at you sweetly, and his smiling made wrinkles appear under his eyes. Only then you realized how old he looked, _his hair seems almost white_.

“/ _Just remember, (Name), if you wish to be found you need to be honest in future. To them… and to yourself too… I know the horrors that hound you, I know your demons and that’s why I understand you. Fufu… and that’s why you depended on me now. There’s no boundaries between us. It’s understanding that brings people together, but it’s honesty which creates understanding. Do you understand, sweet child?_ /”

Oscarion’s words had always been challenging to understand, but this time you got it. Or so you thought. You nodded, _but it still terrifies me._ Everyone don’t understand. Not everyone is like Oscarion.

“/ _I believe the bond that your misery created between us brought you here today._ /” The grey old man smiled the way Sugawara always smiled to you, tenderly but full of life. “/ _Rest well, child. Let’s talk more tomorrow._ /”

“/ _Thank you, father._ /” Your voice was quiet and genuinely thankful. _How did that misery give me such a wonderful friend?_ Priest Oscarion smiled and shut the door. The hall echoed from the sound the door made as it was shut and locked. You sighed and checked your clock.

_Six days left…_

* * *

 

 

 

You woke up multiple times during the night. Every crack the building made in the moist and windy weather alerted you. Still you managed to get some sleep. You were really exhausted.

Oscarion opened the front door at 5AM and hid you some breakfast for you under the stairs. After that he started to prepare the altar for the coming ceremony. About an hour later some other priests and their helpers arrived to the cathedral and soon the whole hall was full of ardent believers of all ages. The smell of incenses filled the air once again and people sang and prayed.

When the morning ceremony ended you ate the breakfast which Oscarion had prepared for you; sandwiches, juice, and fresh fruits. There was also medicine as he had promised to you. The wound didn’t look too bad and was already starting to heal. The other priests made their leave but you knew they would come back in the midday. A young priest was overexcited about the coming ceremonies and the fact he could attend them beside Oscarion. The young priest praised Oscarion all the while and was totally looking up to him. You hadn’t even know he was that popular. Still it didn’t surprise you, Oscarion was like a saint after all.

Thanks to the youngster’s enthusiasm the old priest had no time to chat with you. As he shut the doors, he gave you a small tired but positive smile before leaving. Oscarion arrived back before the midday’s prayers, having finally shaken off the youngster. He happily chatted with you about this and that as you ate your meal of the day. When you asked why the young priest was so excited about him, Oscarion just laughed warmly and explained that he had fed the poor on streets one day and a single ray of sun had lightened him. The youngster had seen in and believed that Oscarion had straight contact with high spirits and was fussing about it. You smiled knowingly. _He is a saint._ You were sure about it now.

Soon you needed to hide once again for the midday ceremony. You laid on your bed in the small crypt and listened the prayers. They wished that the ancient kings would help them today too, that the king of sun would bring them summer and the king of rain would bring them life. Well, the last-mentioned king surely was doing his work right, it seemed like the rain wouldn’t end anytime soon. Fortunately, the city of Dayton was situated on the hill next to the Sweet Sea. There were no floods. The streets got the washing of their lifetime though.

As the ceremony ended and the priests chatted about something, you were dozing off so you didn’t pay attention on their talking. Their low voices were really calming.

Suddenly they quieted. You noticed this but paid no mind in it. You could hear the stairs creak as someone walked down from the altar, and next Oscarion spoke, “How can I help you, my children?”

He wasn’t using Velarian.

Foreigners.

Your eyes shot open as you almost jolted up from your bed.

“/ _I hope you don’t mind if we look around a little, father._ /”

You felt chills. It was definitely Akaashi’s voice. Carefully you stood up and peeked from a small gap to the hall. Oscarion was still wearing his long, blue cape for the holy ceremonies. In front of him stood two tall figures in black light military gears. Akaashi and Bokuto. The gray haired man walked around the hall and checked every corner of the cathedral while Akaashi faced the priests.

Oscarion gave an interrogative look towards Bokuto but nodded a small smile on his lips in the end.

“/ _Of course. I hope you don’t mind that some of us are leaving. The priests need their meals too._ /”

Akaashi smiled warmly and shook his head. He politely told Oscarion that they wouldn’t want to bother them. Meanwhile Bokuto had reached the altar’s platform. He peeked inside the altar, but Akaashi told him not to go in. The altar was a sacred place after all. You lowered yourself on you bed quietly, you didn’t want to take the risk of being seen. You could see Bokuto’s shadow move past the altar.

Soon some of the priest said their good byes to Oscarion and left. Door clicked shut and only people in the temple was only you, Oscarion and the Elites.

“/ _What brings you to our sacred cathedral?_ /” Oscarion asked as he sat down on the stairs. Bokuto glanced at him suspiciously but when Oscarion gave him a warm disarming smile, Bokuto turned his head in embarrassment. He checked other areas in the hall.

Akaashi answered slightly vacantly, “/ _We are looking for someone._ /” He walked to Oscarion and showed him your picture. “/ _Have you by chance seen this girl, father?_ /”

The priest took the picture and held it in front of him and squinted his eyes.

You felt something turn inside you. _Oscarion is not allowed to lie,_ you remembered. In Arylean, the priests promise to be fair and truthful to anybody who seek help from them. Oscarion was the most holy person you knew. _He wouldn’t tell them about me, would he?_

Oscarion observed the picture of you in detail but soon sighed and shook his head.

You held your breath.

“/ _Girls like her tend to hide their faces and spend their time on markets and terraces rather than in cathedrals…_ /” Akaashi sighed and nodded understandingly. A small smile paid a visit on your lips; now you knew where you had learned to lead people astray without lying. Oscarion gave the picture back and his eyes shined with worry. “/ _Pardon me if I am intruding but why are you looking for this child? Has she done something bad?_ /”

Akaashi felt pressure in the priest’s gaze but didn’t let it bother him. He shook his head and sat down on a bench, facing the altar.

“/ _She hasn’t done anything bad, father._ /” Akaashi’s voice turned slightly worried as he spoke. Akaashi glanced at Bokuto who sighed and sat down on a bench a little further away from Akaashi. The sniper shook his head, displeased. “/ _She is… lost from us and we don’t seem to find her._ /”

Oscarion observed the men for a moment before he sighed and got up.

”/ _Ah, but there are so many different ways to be lost, fufu… Being lost is like a maze. Always different. But if she has stepped in that maze to avoid you, she will surely know her way back. You needs patience to lure her out from there but eventually everyone leaves that maze. /”_ Oscarion walked to face a candleholder in front of the altar’s closed door. He licked his fingers and extinguished a short candle between his fingers. He pulled stump out from the candleholder as he continued, _“/ Of course… you may have followed her into that maze and looked for her. I believe that is the choice you have made, hm? You came here to look for her after all._ /”

Akaashi blinked confused. At first it felt like he didn’t understand what the priest had said but the information flooded to his brain delayed. “/ _Y-Yes, father,_ /” he had to admit it. They had indeed looked you from everywhere. That probably meant that maze too.

“/ _And now you have gotten lost too._ /” The old priest smiled sadly as he made an eye contact with Akaashi.

The Elite felt something in his stomach drop. How could this man understand him? Akaashi indeed felt lost at the moment and he knew very well that the others felt the same. The more they tried to know about you, the less they understood you.

Oscarion’s smile turned a little bit kinder as he went on.

“/ _Oh, but I am not worried about you. You must have friends that help you out in no time, but what troubles me is that you may have confused the person you are looking for. You have chased and chased her and now she might not find her way out anymore. She may have lost her way back because of that confusion_. /”

Akaashi felt chills. Was this priest judging them? Akaashi gulped, troubled, it was hard to tell if the priest was serious or just playing around. Oscarion walked to next candleholder and extinguished two more short candles before glancing at Akaashi and Bokuto.

He chuckled little. “/ _Fufu… I’m sorry child, I didn’t mean to make you feel threatened. Like I said, eventually everyone comes out from that maze but some take longer than others. They may have forgotten which way they came or they never actually knew. They may have been there so long that the place has actually become bearable and kind, and the world where they escaped had turned grim and scary._ /“

He glanced at the altar and smiled warmly. Akaashi glanced at the altar too. There was nothing.

The priest shook his head and laughed gently, almost like shooing a funny memory away.

“/ _Fufu… There is just so many different ways to step in but only one way to walk through it._ /” He seemed to talk to himself.

“/ _I will help her out of there, father,_ /” Akaashi said, determined. Oscarion turned to face the man, surprised. The young man had actually listened and understood him. Meanwhile his gray-haired companion had a hard time focusing. Bokuto was ready to leave.

Oscarion smiled at the men. “/ _How are you going to do it? She may be looking her way back, not forward. You might wait for her at the wrong end._ /” He turned his back to the men as he walked to put the stumps of the candles to a small basket. The stumps would be melted and cleaned and made to new candles later on.

“/ _She’s looking a way… but it’s not to go ‘back’._ /”

Oscarion felt his heart warm up, _yes, she wouldn’t go back._

Akaashi stood up and stared at the altar. “/ _She would never go back. I don’t know why but that I’m sure about. I think that she’s just afraid to move, just like you said._ /”

Oscarion turned to see the messy raven haired man. The man seemed to be different from the one who had stepped in the temple earlier. Akaashi’s green eyes gleamed now confidence. “/ _If she’s lost we will call out for her, we’ll make sure that she knows which way come when she decides to move. And we will be waiting for her at that door._ /”

“/ _It may take forever,_ /” Oscarion stated while admiring the man in front of him.

“/ _We will wait,_ /” Akaashi answered like it was the most obvious thing. Bokuto stared at his friend his golden eyes shining from awe. Akaashi’s determination made him determined too though he had no idea what the men were talking about. “/ _If she hears us we will surely wait._ /”

“/ _Oh… she hears, my son._ /” The priest sighed, his lips in a touched smile. “/ _She hears…_ /”

Akaashi couldn’t understand what was happening but he nodded all the same. Maybe his words had reached you in some level. Somehow Akaashi felt relieved, it was really reassuring to speak about you. He didn’t feel so lost anymore… and for the long time he could say he understood you better too. If he couldn’t find you, he could always wait for you to come to them, since you would never go back either. The only way for you is forward, and Akaashi pledged himself that they would be waiting for you.

The Elites left soon. Akaashi thanked the priest Oscarion for his hospitality and wise words before the duo vanished. Oscarion sighed and went to finally take the ritual clothes off.

He sat on the stairs once again and hummed satisfied.

“/ _I truly hope you did hear them, my child._ /”

You were hugging your knees while fighting against emotions bursting. You gritted your teeth so your chin wouldn’t tremble, you shut your eyes tightly so you wouldn’t cry, you held your breath so you wouldn’t sob… your nose stung and you had to sniff once. Then again. Akaashi’s words echoed in your mind.

_“We will call out for her.”_

_“We will wait.”_

How could he promise such things so easily?

Oscarion listened you and sighed in understanding.

“/ _Are everyone of them like him?_ /”

When you didn’t answer he hummed in asking manner.

“/ _Well… a-almost. Some of them have some serious problems… but you could say that they are,_ /” you answered after sniffing once again. When would you nose stop running?! It was annoying. It made you sound weak.

Oscarion laughed hearty. “/ _Fuhaha… That’s good._ /”

He stared at the high ceiling and sighed relieved.

“/ _That’s very good..._ /”

 

* * *

 

 

Daichi stared at the profile which they had created for you. It wasn’t huge but it told what kind of person you were. They knew you were reserved and careful but also that you were a master of improvisation and capable of making fast decisions under pressure. Wariness and improvisation. They didn’t really match. How could you combine them so easily? Were you even combining them? The Elites knew that you knew much about the Aryleanese culture and mastered the Velarian language. You knew how to be inconspicuous but the Elites had no idea how you had learned this. You were constantly feeling insecure but you were confident. It made no sense. You were avoiding troubles, but when you faced them you knew exactly how to get away.

Your voice whispered in his mind, “ _I will survive. I will remain.”_

Daichi grunted, stressed as he changed his position once again. How long had he stared that blackboard now? His back hurt and he could feel his bottom grow numb. The air in the conference room had turned stuffy. He had told the strategist that they would not be allowed to disturb him unless they had new information about you. Daichi hadn’t heard about them for long time. _Why aren’t we progressing?_ he thought exhausted. He brushed his eyes with his fore finger and thumb. _What are we missing?_

You couldn’t just vanish like that, could you?

“ _What if you don’t find me?”_ you had asked in shaky voice. Only now Daichi could understand what you had mean with those words.

A sudden knock at the base’s conference room interrupted his thinking.

“Come in,” he said tiredly. If it was Asahi he would punch him for interrupting him, the mechanic had turned troublesome and started to fuss around Daichi like Sugawara did. If it was Sugawara he would allow him in but he wouldn’t listen his nagging. Daichi had decided to find you. He had promised himself to do his best till the end to find you.

The door opened and Daichi glanced at the comer.

The boy with blonde hair with black roots peeked in, Kenma looked really troubled. The captain of the Elites had almost literally locked himself in the conference room and he looked quite horrible: some stubble on Daichi’s chin made him look much older than he actually was and the dark circles under his eyes gave him a really gloomy stare. Kenma gulped and stepped in. He held a paper in his hand. Since Kenma didn’t look so excited Daichi didn’t get excited either. He had done that way too many times in vain already.

“U-Umm… we just confirmed her family backgrounds...” Kenma stared at his feet as he stepped in the room. He glanced at the captain who was now furrowing which made the strategist panic little, “I-It might not help to find her but… ummm… you told us to tell if we found anything new… so…”

Kenma was turning really fidgety. He really didn’t want to be there, but Tsukishima was busy.

Daichi stared at the man before sighing, “Okay… let’s add them to her profile.”

Daichi tried to smile in a reassuring way but failed horribly. Still, Kenma nodded and moved to write down the information on the board.

“So… we actually contacted (Surname)’s uncle, (Uncle) (Surname). He… didn’t really want to talk about his niece but his assistant, who also took care of (Name) when she was child, gave us some basic information.” Kenma wrote as he spoke, “Her parents met in the army and died when (Name) was about three years old. (Uncle) adopted her about half a year later and retired from army. He encouraged his niece to do sports and travelled with her much. He started to train (Name) when she was teenager but didn’t approve when she joined the army. Their relations died when she started to serve the Allied Guards and it seems they are still on bad terms with each other…”

Kenma turned to see Daichi who leaned his chin against his fist. “Did that assistant say anything about (Name)’s time while serving the Allied Guards?”

Kenma shook slightly his head, “He only said that (Name) was lively and open person who loved challenges. She shined in sports and showed true talent in the army.”

Daichi furrowed his eyebrows, _lively and open person?_ That didn’t sound like you at all. Only time he had seen you been lively was during the match against Bokuto. Daichi still felt chills when he remembered how your eyes had blazed.

The captains sighed. “You were right that this information doesn’t help us to find her but I appreciate your hard work. Transmit my thanks to Tsukishima or whoever helped you to find this information.” Daichi got up and stretched his back for a moment but Kenma didn’t move. Kenma just stared at his feet while biting his lips. Daichi knew that meant he was thinking if he should say something or not. Daichi sighed a smile on his lips, “Kenma, if you want to say something just say it. I will hear you.”

Kenma shot his surprised cat-like eyes up to meet Daichi’s brown ones. Almost immediately he avoided the eye contact, “I think… actually many of us thinks that… that maybe you should… ease down a little bit.”

Daichi stared at the pudding-headed man dumbfounded.

“Excuse me?”

He couldn’t believe his ears. Frustration started to build inside him immediately. _Are they giving up?_ Kenma could feel the pressure grow in Daichi’s stared and backed away towards the door instinctively.

“ _I will not step astray anymore._ ” You voice reminded Daichi.

Anger reignited deep inside him.

“T-there’s only two days left, sir… a-and the possibility for us to find her by chance is… is less than 9% now.” Daichi took a step at Kenma while Kenma took three steps back. He knew that he shouldn’t be saying these things but the situation was hopeless. “(Surname) is p-probably getting aid from somebody which means - - ,” Kenma stuttered on before Daichi raised his hand to silence him.

“Are you giving up then?” Daichi asked calmly. Too calmly.

Kenma was afraid to meet his eyes. Daichi wouldn’t hit him, would he? Kenma gulped.

_“What if you don’t find me?”_ Daichi could hear you just like you would be right behind him. _“I will remain.”_ As Daichi spoke his voice got louder and deeper, threatening.

“So what if there’s less than a 9% chance for us to find her? There is still _a chance_ , Kenma, and as long as there is **_a chance_** we can find her. That number is **NOT** **an excuse** **for you to** \- - !”

Daichi’s ranting met its end as the door behind Kenma opened without warning.

Kuroo stepped in and tilted his head to the side while his eyes squinted at the scene in front of him. Kenma was pale and shivering while Daichi seemed quite furious, he had spoken in a quite threateningly way seconds earlier. Kuroo’s smirk was foul as he walked to Kenma, leaving the door open behind him.

“Kenma, go shut down the computers and take a break with Tsukishima. You two have done a great job today.” Kuroo’s voice was gentle as he ruffled Kenma’s black rooted blonde hair familiarly. Kuroo refused to break the eye contact with the captain. Kenma nodded and left the room quickly. He bumped into Iwaizumi before continuing his way past the other Elites.

“S-S-Sorry!”

Iwaizumi blinked. “No, don’t mind.”

“Well he left in hurry!” Bokuto stated surprised as he stepped in the conference room. Kuroo was glaring at Daichi before giving room for the others to enter.

Daichi looked displeased and confused at the same time, “What are you doing here? You were supposed to stay on the field!”

Sugawara was the last one to step into the room and shut the door behind him. The Elites looked at Daichi doubtfully before some of them sat down at a long table. Daichi seemed so taken aback, _are they protesting?_ Why were they like this?

“You seriously need to calm down, Captain,” Oikawa spoke as he sat down and crossed his arms on his chest while leaning back. His eyes were sharp on Daichi.

Before Daichi could answer Kuroo continued,

“Just listen and don’t argue back.” Kuroo still glared at him unpleasantly, “All of us have come into conclusion that we should step back now. There’s no reason to go on.”

Daichi’s eyes widened in shock, _step back?_

Sugawara squeezed his shoulder firmly, the vice-captain’s brown eyes showed that the man was in pain. Hurt. Exhausted. “Daichi, you are draining yourself and others with you if we continue like this. You need to rest just like everybody else.”

Daichi stared at the vice-captain. It felt like the men in the room spoke different language. He couldn’t understand.

“What do you mean ‘ _no reason to go on’_?” Daichi asked flabbergasted and turned to face Kuroo. “She’s still there. We have _not_ found her. I know that you are frustrated to walk around aimlessly but that’s the only thing we can do right now!”

The Elites glanced each other before sighing. They weren’t buying it.

“I think you are not seeing the big picture, Daichi...” Bokuto said troubled.

“This isn’t a brand new situation which we are facing, Sawamura-san. We, and every base, have faced this kind of problem before many times,” Akaashi spoke. “People vanish all the time and sometimes the only way to find them is to wait.”

“What are you talking about?” Daichi gasped and stared the men in front of him confused, “We have waited, and we are running out of time soon!”

“Aaand we have reached the problem,” Kuroo sighed while his face was blank. “Daichi, you need to understand that we simply don’t have time to find her. (Name) is too good and we… well, like you said, we don’t have time.”

Daichi furrowed.

Bokuto was getting frustrated. “Grah, he doesn’t just get it!” He jumped up from his chair and moved to the blackboard. As he wrote he asked Daichi a question, “What is common with Badosta… aaaand… Quantis?”

Daichi blinked, those were the names of two Blood Brother leaders their base had captured some time ago.

“I… eehh… they are criminals we have caught..?”

“YES!! Aaaand…?”

Daichi stared at Bokuto confused before glancing at the others for tips. What was this hoot-head trying to say?

Oikawa shook his head and sighed. “We almost caught them at first but they managed to get away.”

“Bingo!” Bokuto shouted and circled the two names, “For example with this Quantis guy! It took us two years to - -“

“One,” Akaashi corrected Bokuto.

“It took us a year to find him after he got away! And it was frustrating and tiring and annoying, but we found them anyway!” Bokuto smiled at Daichi who just stared at the man a bit confused. But he was finally starting to understand where his friends were aiming.

_They got away but we found them anyway_ , Daichi thought. It had taken quite a long time to catch them.

Sugawara sighed and squeezed Daichi’s shoulder again but gently this time, “What we are trying to tell you is that even though if we don’t find (Name) now doesn’t mean we have failed, Daichi. She’s just too talented to be found inside the time limit.”

Daichi stared at Sugawara who smiled sympathetically at him.

Iwaizumi nodded. “In real situation we wouldn’t be walking around the street aimlessly to look for a single person. We would follow the guidance of the long term searching - -“

“ ...’ _Check and wait’_ – strategy,” Daichi finished Iwaizumi’s sentence suddenly, and his eyes were wide open as he finally understood everything. Iwaizumi stared at him before a small smile appeared on his face and he nodded.

If the person seemed to be impossible to find the searching would be put on a pause. The system would scan all the data files, security cameras, bank accounts… basically everything twice in a month, and life would go on normally until the wanted person would be located again. Check and wait.

Daichi sat on a bench and buried his face in his hands. “What have I been thinking?” He felt so ashamed. The time limit had totally blinded him and thanks to that he had showed some horrible leadership to others. “I’ve been a total jerk…”

The Elites just sighed relieved as smiles appeared on their faces.

Sugawara patted Daichi’s head, “Yes, you totally were.”

“Total idiot,” Bokuto agreed while poking Daichi over the table.

“So unprofessional,” Kuroo said a satisfied smirk on his face.

“So lame ~ ,“ Oikawa sang.

Iwaizumi and Akaashi just sighed unimpressed at their colleagues. Were these guys really grownups?

Daichi laughed little. “I can’t even argue back at you. Shit, I feel horrible.” Daichi continued weakly as he finally faced everyone, “I’m so sorry…”

Out of the blue Daichi showed them probably one of the sweetest and most genuine smile he had ever shown.

“…and thank you guys… I would have been totally lost it without you!”

The Elites stared at him shocked before blush creeped up their necks.

“Y-You’re welcome…” “Oh god stop! Lame!” “We d-don’t mind!!” “Hey look, Daichi came back.” “Phaha!”

They felt so super embarrassed.

The next thing Daichi wanted to do was to apologize to Kenma and Tsukishima for asking for too much. He needed to make sure that he hadn’t hurt anyone else’s feeling either, for Daichi had been quite upset the past few days. When everybody had convinced him that they were okay and ready to take orders, Daichi declared their new strategy.

“Check and wait, that’s all I ask of you for now. If you come up with something please enlighten us but otherwise don’t feel pressured from this.”

It needed patience, but they were ready to wait for you forever.

 

* * *

 

 

It felt like a déjà vu; the Elites were once again waiting in the lounge for something to happen. It was now 11:38 AM of the last day of the runaway training.

There had been no sight of you for a whole week now.

The Elites knew that even if Tsukishima and Kenma would find your location now, they wouldn’t have enough time to go and catch you. It took over thirty minutes to fly any everywhere from the base. Still, it felt wrong and unprofessional to just relax and take a nap or something. Instead they waited for orders. The weather was running gloomy, once again some rainstorm was closing the base from north. It was getting windy and the temperature kept dropping bit by bit.

Iwaizumi glanced at the clock and sighed. “Do you think she will use those free days after this?”

The men glanced at Iwaizumi. It was a good question since you really didn’t seem to be person to relax but the training surely hadn’t been easy for you.

“I believe (Surname)-san returns here,” Akaashi stated while cutting his nails.

Oikawa nodded in agreement. “(Name)-chan eagerly awaits this game to end. She wouldn’t extend this tribulation without forcing.”

Some of the Elites nodded while some of them just hummed. Iwaizumi glanced at the clock again, _11:40._ Time surely moved slowly.

Bokuto groaned frustrated. “Damn it’s so boring! I don’t remember anyone who we would have needed to wait like this… Didn’t we chase Akaashi till the end?”

Akaashi felt chills go through his body when he remembered the time he had taken part in the runaway training. “Yes, you did indeed.”

Kuroo and Bokuto chuckled while the other Elites just smiled. Chasing Akaashi had been almost thrilling – they had surrounded Akaashi and suddenly the clock had rang. If the time limit would had been only 10 seconds longer, they would have caught him.

Kuroo was thinking out a really snarky comment when their headsets buzzed.

“[ _The system found (Surname)! We’re just locating her!_ ]” Everybody flinched, Kuroo and Oikawa managed to jump up before remembering how impossible it was for them to reach you in time. Kuroo groaned as he sank back down on the couch but Oikawa remained standing.

Oikawa frowned as he looked at Kuroo, _why did you sit back down?_ Kuroo glanced at him in asking manner but the brown-haired sniper just clicked his teeth and made his way out from the lounge.

Kuroo felt annoyed. “Oi what was that?”

“Tch. It just meant that I’m going to tell Matsun and Makki that they should go pick - - .”

“[She’s here!]” Tsukishima shouted while tapping the keyboard furiously. The Elites felt like another déjà vu would have washed over them. “[The surveillance camera at the main building spotted her!]”

Oikawa’s wide eyes shot at the clock. _11:57, there is still time._ Without another word he dashed to the hallway. As he lunged outside he could hear the others to react too. A desperate wish crossed through Oikawa’s mind. He could reach you in time.

There was still time.

 -

Exhaustion.

You carried a medium-sized shoulder bag as you made your way past the main building, towards the garages. Oscarion had bought you a thin (fav/c) scarf which many Aryleanese young women liked to wear. It gave you protective covering against Dayton’s supervisor system when you finally left the city, but for now you had given up on it. The scarf was around your neck, fluttering as wind played with it. Oscarion had asked a friend of his take you to Gezende where a local had driven you to the gates of the base.

Oscarion had hoped that you would have stayed in Dayton with him, before calling the Elites to pick you up. The priest said that he would have wanted to meet them but you knew better... he would have wanted to speak to them about your current state for sure.

You had screamed in your sleep once again before waking up in panic the night after Akaashi and Bokuto had visited the temple. Fortunately, it had happened a way before the morning ceremony so it hadn’t caused any ructions. Unfortunately, Oscarion had heard you. He was really worried about you since at first it seemed that you rested well. Because of the nightmares you hadn’t dared to sleep during ceremonies anymore… but you hadn’t been able to sleep during nights either. It didn’t matter how tired you were, your nightmares waited in your dreams. They were always there.

The wristwatch peeped once. _The last_ _minute left._ It had peeped like that about an hour ago too.

“A-Ah!! (Surname)!?”

You stopped and glanced to your right. Matsukawa and Hanamaki stared at you shocked expressions on their faces. They clearly hadn’t heard that you were in the base though you could guess that the Elites already knew about you. You stared at them blankly, feeling so exhausted all over again. It felt hard to keep your eyes open. Why didn’t you feel good to be back? Was it tiredness that made you feel so uncomfortable or was it something else?

You felt lost all again.

“ _It’s understanding that brings people together, but it’s honesty what creates understanding. Do you understand, sweet child?”_ You could almost hear Oscarion’s humming. You missed him already.

Matsukawa took a couple of fast steps towards you.

“Don’t.”

The tone of your voice was weak but severe. You knew what he was up to.

“Only an Elite is allowed to catch me. Not you.”

Matsukawa stopped immediately. His eyes showed irritation of some kind but you were too tired to observe him more.

Sudden footsteps caught the last bit of your attention. Oikawa appeared behind the corner of the main building, he was clearly coming from barracks. When his eyes met with yours, he froze. A strong wind hit your back, making loose strands of your (h/c) hair and scarf on your neck go wild in the progress, before reaching Oikawa. Your (e/c) eyes stared at him dimly, wind playing with his chocolate brown hair.

You weren’t moving. You were right there, not going anywhere anymore.

Oikawa gritted his teeth and dashed at you.

You felt something as you watched Oikawa run towards you despite the fact he wouldn’t reach you. Or would he? A small smile paid a visit on your lips, _if he caught me now I would seem merciful, wouldn’t I?_ You didn’t exactly know why you had come to the base now. Why hadn’t you waited until the time had ended?

Soon you saw the other Elites appear from behind the corner to the open area in front of you. They seemed shocked before desperation took over them. But none of them stopped there. Though Oikawa was the closest to you they refused to stop. Every one of them kept running towards you. Desperately.

_Ah,_ you realized as you watched the Elites of Crow’s Nest shorten the distance between you and them, _I wanted to give them a last chance._ You wanted to see if they even tried.

Oikawa was mere 20 meters away from you. His knee hurt but he went on.

There was still time.

14 meters. It felt like his heart was bursting out of his chest.

But there was still time.

9 meters. He could almost touch you, _I will catch - - !_

***PEEP PEEP PEEP***

The time was up. Oikawa could see you turn your gaze to the ground almost like in disappointment. It felt like something would have pierced Oikawa’s body. It hurt. Numbed. He stopped mere three meters away from you. Mere three. Just two steps closer and he could have touched you. Three steps and you would had been in his arms by the time ended.

But no.

Oikawa couldn’t describe how bad he felt.

Somehow you felt bad too. _He didn’t reach me._ The pain in your heart told that you had really wanted Oikawa to reach you. Or had you? You felt empty. So tired and empty. You could almost hear your heart’s beats echo in your body.

It began to rain. Slowly at first but you could tell that the rain would turn fierce sooner or later. You sighed and started to walk towards Oikawa and the others, towards the barracks. Oikawa flinched when you moved, and he filled his lungs with cold air sharply. From the corner of your eye you could see his body trembling. Frustration? Anger? Pain? You couldn’t tell, and you didn’t have the strength nor will to observe him.

You moved past Oikawa as rain turned heavier, leaving the man stand alone in rain. He stopped trembling but said nothing.

Kuroo and Bokuto stared at you miserably as you walked past them. Well, all of the Elites looked like they all would have failed job interviews eight times in row. Miserable. Sad. Kuroo turned at you and attempted to call your name but his voice broke. You didn’t even react. You just kept walking forward without making eye contact. Akaashi gave you way.

Iwaizumi offered you the dog whistle as you were about to walk past it. _Oh yeah…_ you thought as you stopped and took the whistle, _Mashur._ You had almost forgot his existence. You managed to feel slightly guilty for forgetting until urge to meet your dog kicked in. Suddenly you started to miss him. _I need to see him,_ you thought as you thanked Iwaizumi quietly. Iwaizumi just nodded before he glanced at Oikawa again, he was still standing still.

As you walked to the point where Daichi and Sugawara waited, the thunder roared in distance. The asphalt was thoroughly wet and you could feel moisture come through your jacket from the shoulders. Sugawara opened his mouth to say something but Daichi stopped him by taking a step at you. Almost like blocking your way.

Suddenly you felt so trapped again.

You could hear Daichi gulp before he cleared his throat to speak, “Welcome back, (Surname). You coped marvelously through this experience.” It was clear that you were in a sensitive state so Daichi tried not to sugarcoat his words too much. You noticed that too.

The way the captain spoke made you huff, slightly amused; you would surely hear how _marvelously_ you actually coped later, wouldn’t you? He wouldn’t just let you be. He was Sawamura Daichi, the captain of the Elites. You dig your pocket and offered the bracelet to Daichi, who took it a bit reluctantly. It felt good to finally get rid of that oppressive item.

You moved past Daichi and Sugawara, but Daichi spoke to you again forcing you to stop and listen. His voice was more severe, he didn’t like that you ignored him.

“I would like to talk with you about your performance as soon as possible. This is a basic - - ”

“Captain,” you spoke over him, exhausted, but there was a hint of annoyance in your tone. “I’m on vacation and I wish to not be disturbed.”

You could feel that Daichi wanted to argue back, but somehow he managed get over it. He sighed deep and wiped quickly his wet short hair in frustrated manner. It annoyed you. Anger flared inside you.

“You don’t seem to be too pleased, sir. If you want to argue about my decision, I’ll listen to you. But believe me when I tell you that I definitely won’t _hear you now_ ,” you almost spat your last words as you turned to face Daichi. Your voice was full of contempt. Your (e/c) eyes were dripping poison.

“I don’t want to argue, (Name),” Daichi said gravely as rain started to pour down harder. Sugawara was getting fidgety behind Daichi, he surely didn’t like how the two of you were staring at each other and the coming storm didn’t ease him one bit. Daichi had to give in under your pressing stare. It hurt to see you feel so uncomfortable. You were supposed to be at home and be able to breath and relax… that clearly wasn’t the case. You were still running away from them. “Four days, as I promised. Take your time.”

“Thank you, _sir_ ,” you answered even though there was no hint of gratitude in your voice.

You fixed the shoulder bag’s strap on your shoulder before turning and moving to the barracks. The thunder was getting closer and closer. Iwaizumi had dragged Oikawa from outside in the rain to the garages and Matsukawa and Hanamaki were already trying to mollify him. Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi jogged to reach Sugawara and Daichi, they hardly cared about the rain anymore. They gave you lead, so you wouldn’t feel so threatened.

Daichi seemed to be little beaten so Kuroo patted his shoulder. “At least she is back safely. No need to worry that anymore.”

Daichi smiled weakly and nodded before they walked inside.

When you stepped in your room Mashur ran to you immediately. He whined really loudly while his swaying tail made his but shake too. He jumped on you and pressed you against the door while crying. You brushed your face in his fluffy fur as you inhaled his familiar scent. “Hey buddy…” While pressing your back against the door you slid down to sit on the floor. “Shhh…” you shushed to your dog who kept fussing around you while crying. “Shhhh….”

You felt so numb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm losing my grip on this story ;; I sense that Haikyuu fandom is slowly dying, and I'm dying with it, but I'll work hard to finish the Reignited series! I want to thank those who are still following the series! Thank you for being so patient!
> 
> I want to wish you all Merry Christmas! I wish you all get the rest you deserve! See you next year <3


	12. Kings and Knaves

“I appreciate your concern but believe me when I tell you that I am fine,” you said as calmly and professionally as you could, though you had hard time to keep your voice down and mind clear.

You felt unbelievably uncomfortable. The pouring rain that had swallowed the whole base felt almost warm and welcoming now. In twenty minutes the comfortable couch had turned almost unbearable to sit on. It was a rack, not a sofa anymore. The air in the lounge had turned heavy with the atmosphere… the professional encounter with good intending smiles had turned into forced ones if those thin lines could be called smiles anymore. You weren’t only one displeased in the room.

Dr. Takeda sighed for the 14th time as he fixed his glasses again. He was about to argue back. You had already learned the pattern; after talking he would tap his leg with the pencil and sigh again, and after that he would calm down and take up his professional attitude again.

“(Surname), did you listen to me at all? I didn’t come here just to state my concerns but to help you!”

You felt your heartbeat quicken as vexation built inside you. You didn’t want to sound too rude, it was Dr. Takeda after all, but _fuck,_ this man refused to shut up and let the subject go.

“I heard you loud and clear, but I don’t need your help. I don’t need - -”

“(Name), you nearly screamed your lungs out last night!” Takeda interrupted you by raising his voice, and well, that surely did shut you up. You stared at the doctor your eyes blazing since the subject was brought up once again, but the doctor glared at you almost as badly. Worried. How could you be angry for a concerned man? You groaned; you knew exactly what was coming next as you sank into the uncomfortably soft couch and stared outside. “You screamed, and when Akaashi-san and the others woke you up you were in utter terror! You were sweating, hyperventilating, fighting..! (Name), you didn’t even know where you were! H-How can you even say being fine after experiencing something like that?!”

You felt embarrassed, miserable. Dr. Takeda huffed after finishing and seemed to get ashamed of his bursting. You barely cared how he felt right now. The only thing you cared was how you would get away. Takeda tapped his thigh with his pencil as observed your withdrawn status before sighing.

“H-Have you had this kind of night terrors before?”

Did you even dare to tell him?

“Yes,” you still answered truthfully without facing the man. You were sulking.

“Hm. How have you coped them before?”

“I have my methods.”

“What kind of methods do you prefer to use?”

“Definitely not drugs if you were aiming there,” you snarled quietly.

Dr. Takeda took a deep breath again.

_Here we go again._

“(Surname)-san, I have to advise you to at least try hypnotic drugs. They would reduce your anxiety and help you relax before you go to sleep. In some cases night terrors weaken with this medication and after you are able to sleep normally we can start reducing their use.”

You upper lip twitched in annoyance but you forced yourself to stay calm. “I have tried sleeping pills before and they’re useless. They only make me feel drowsy and empty during daytime. I don’t like them.”

Takeda tapped his leg with the pencil and wrote this down to his little notebook.

“Have you tried antidepressants?”

“No, and I won’t try them.”

“Hm. Have you tried psychotherapy?”

“I have met a headshrinker before and it was a mistake.” You remembered how she had immediately decided in her head that you were totally crazy though she was the one with dyskinesia or she was just obsessed to her hair, why would she otherwise had played with it all the time? Only remembering that woman made you feel annoyed all over again.

The doctor observed you a short while before writing something down on his notebook.

“I take that answer as a no.”

You groaned displeased, _now he’s going to force me there!_ Finally you turned at Takeda and leaned against your thighs while leaning your chin against your hands. “Listen…” The position felt uncomfortable so you changed it again. Nothing felt good. You stood up and brushed your hair out of your face before turning towards Takeda again. “I _won’t_ attend to a psychotherapy.”

Takeda blinked at you astonished.

“B-But why? Seriously, (Surname) it would do good to - -“

“No.”

“(Surname)! Just try it a - -!”

“No!”

“But - -!”

“No, I won’t!!” you finally shouted and turned your back at him while brushing a ticklish feeling away from your face with your hands. There was no way you would let that man force you there.

“Explain to me why!!” Dr. Takeda stood up too, he seemed hurt.

“Because I _DO **NOT** need it_!” you half-screamed frustrated, why wasn’t this man listening to you?! You were finally losing your temper, but Takeda could only thank himself later for that. He was pushing you towards something you didn’t want. You walked around the lounge’s couch area as you ranted and raved from so obvious things, “I don’t need antidepressants nor sleeping pills! I don’t need drugs! _I don’t need help_! I have learned to live with my problems, and these problems have never precluded me from doing my job as a soldier of the Allied Guards! I’m stronger than them! They have never put me or anyone else into - -“

Takeda slammed his notebook loudly on the coffee table between you.

“You got **captured** by **Blood Brothers** because of **sleep deprivation**!!”

His glare was furious on you, and there was a hint of tears in his eyes. Only the ticking of the clock reminded you that time hadn’t stopped.

You clicked your teeth and glared back at him. “That was an exception since I was too focused on looking for the Elites…”

The doctor shook his head perplexed. “(Surname), this kind of game cannot go on!”

“Game?” you asked, baffled, as the ticklish feeling moved now up and down your arms. “Do you seriously think that I am playing with you?” It felt like your muscles were telling you to punch him… or something. Anything really was fine, but he was the closest thing. Your arms were turning restless. It tickled.

Takeda shook his head. “O-Of course not! I would never! But you aren’t doing or telling anything that would help me to understand you better!”

You glared at him. _He wouldn’t understand even if I told him the truth._

You felt frustrated. “ _It’s understanding that brings people together, but it’s honesty what creates understanding._ ” Oscarion’s words had started to haunt you, “ _Do you understand, sweet child_?” You missed his husky voice. He would understand you without saying. He would never force you to do anything. Unlike Takeda. Unlike anybody else here.

“(Surname), pardon me for being so pushy but do you think that there could be some, erm… tribulations in your past that could have something to do with the sleeping problems? Are they coming back to you?”

You halted, _my past tribulations..?_ For a short moment you could hear your shadows silent whispering. Your demons.

_Him_.

Takeda watched you feeling a bit alerted. _What did she remember?_

When you turned around to face him Takeda felt sharp and cold chills, as you had a small unpleasant smile on your lips though your whole experience had darkened. Only your eyes blazed from fury.

“So… you share everything with Daichi and the others, huh?”

Takeda gulped, he had told you too much. The Elites had told him that something happened to you three years ago which had forced you to run for your life. They told that somebody had shot you back then but they didn’t know the details. Of course this information worried Takeda. He couldn’t find his voice to answer properly. What could he even say? Slowly your smile died away and a pitiful glare appeared to color your beautiful face instead.

“For your information, Dr. Takeda, my past _tribulations_ have nothing to do with _you_.” You spat the last word before turning around to leave. “This is enough.”

Despite the fact Takeda was feeling fragile and threatened, he managed to keep his voice severe. “W-Where are you going, (Surname)? You promised me an hour and it had been just…” He checked the clock. “…35 minutes. There’s still time to solve this a-and - - ”

“I promised you an hour and you promised to listen to me unconditionally. Looks like we both failed miserably!” _I have better things to do than being your puppet._ There was no sympathy left in you for the doctor and Dr. Takeda knew it too. He walked after you as you opened your room’s door to let Mashur out.

“I apologize, (Name). My questions clearly crossed the line but…” You didn’t listen to him anymore, right when Mashur stepped out you started to walk through the hallway towards an outdoor. The canine was feeling restless too, circling around you to make sure that nobody could surprise you. Takeda felt desperate, things were ending horribly. “Please, let’s talk this over! Let’s calm down and… (Name)? (Surname)! Y-You can’t solve things by running away!”

“Really?” You almost laughed. The ‘ _you-are-just-a-runaway’_ -card has been slammed on the table once again and you couldn’t even feel surprised about it. “My problems have solved out quite well with this method so far. And if I remember correctly, this base doesn’t have anyone who could actually capture me if I ran. I think my chances to solve my problems alone once again are quite high, don’t you think? So leave me alone.”

Before you reached out the door Daichi, Iwaizumi and Kuroo stepped in. This allowed you to slip out smoothly. They were shocked as you stormed towards them while Takeda stopped in his tracks behind you. The men watched you go, troubled, but when they saw how depressed Dr. Takeda looked, they knew the situation was probably even more troubling.

The door slammed shut and you were gone.

Takeda huffed and brushed his chin. Daichi walked to him slightly sad expression on his face.

“Seems like things didn’t go so well…”

Takeda shook his head, beaten. “It went horribly. She refuses to talk about the matter a-and any help I offer to her. She believes that time fixes everything but… but th-things don’t get solved that way! They o-only devolve. I-I don’t understand!”

The Elites didn’t know how to comfort the doctor. They felt the same; after all, they didn’t understand either. Dr. Takeda stayed with Daichi and others to drink coffee, to calm down. He had time after all. Takeda didn’t tell them about your personal matters but he described your reactions. The other Elites returned to the barracks soon and joined to listen Takeda’s worries about you. The doctor was probably the only one who could actually help you and he was desperate to make sure you had everything okay.

Suddenly Takeda figured out something and turned to Daichi desperate gleam in his eyes.

“W-What if you would tell her that she wouldn’t be allowed to continue her training if she doesn’t start attending in the psychotherapy? You could refer to the fact that she caused a dangerous situation… That way she might take this matter seriously!”

Daichi frowned displeased and shook his head without delay. “I’m sorry, but I won’t do that. That would be forcing her and (Surname) clearly doesn’t need any more pressure on her back, Takeda.”

“B-But - -“

“Doctor, you promised to listen to her, and (Name) gave her opinion and made it clear that she doesn’t want help. By forcing her you would just end up bullying her,” Kuroo stated. His cat-like eyes stared at Takeda in a premonitory manner. Takeda was too close to step over the lines of his authority.

“Kuroo is right. I believe that we should let her calm down first. (Surname) told me that her nightmares got worse because of the pressure of the runaway game and that they would get better within time.” Takeda was about to argue back but Daichi raised his hand and continued, “I know you’re frustrated, we all can relate to that, but at least now she knows that there’s help available and she knows from where to find it. It’s patience what we need, not force.”

Akaashi nodded supportively. He had had long conversation with the Elites about you and the new perspective to support you. It had been a laborious process to explain but everybody understood it by now; they would wait for you.

“Sometimes we think that when things are just going ‘OK’ in life, we are comfortable keeping that status stable. I believe (Surname)-san has had things really bad in the past, and now that everything is finally bearable, she doesn’t see a need to fix them,” Akaashi said quietly and looked at the doctor. He smiled carefully. “I understand that decision. No, it’s not the most efficient way to solve her problems, but it’s a way all the same. I want to believe that one day she realizes that things could be better for her and she reaches for our help. (Surname)-san isn’t stupid but careful, and we need to respect that.”

Dr. Takeda bit his lips together into thin line as he shook his head. It felt wrong to just leave you on your own… but what could he do for you if you refused him and his help. He didn’t want to create bad blood between him and you. Not more than he already had.

Takeda sighed as he got up. “I hope you are right… but time isn’t the right solution.”

Soon he left as a beaten man, exhausted and worried.

Almost immediately when the doctor vanished from the hallway, you stepped back in with Mashur. Lucky coincidence? Maybe not. Nobody believed so. Mashur shook raindrops from his fur as you made your way to the lounge, it was clear without saying that the Elites felt bothered. You could almost feel the air change as you went by. To their surprise you did slip in your room to safety but walked straightly to the lounge and took yourself a glass of water. You observed the tensed men with the gleam of curiosity, which was piercing through the tiredness in your eyes.

“Let me guess; he’s going to force me to visit some headshrinker or he’s going to grill me some more in the future.”

The Elites felt amazed how calmly you were talking about the matter. Or even talked; you had held radio silence and avoided them quite artfully after the sleep attack of yours. You clearly felt ashamed of it. But who wouldn’t?

Everybody glanced at Daichi which made you create an eye contact with him.

The captain smiled and took a deep breath. “Well, he had that therapy on his mind, but it won’t happen… and what comes of meeting Takeda again is up to you.” The captain smiled once again, but more warmly this time. There was a hint of relief but also sadness in his eyes.

_It’s up to me?_ you thought suspiciously as you sipped the water. It felt like you were talking about some different doctor since Takeda hadn’t shown any signs of allowing you to decide about your own matters. For him, your troubles were a dragon that only he could slaughter to save you like you were some helpless princess. He was always so hasty. Someday he would burn his fingers because of it.

"It’s good to hear that I have the right to choose…” Your words were sharp though your voice was quite soft. You could hear Bokuto gulp at the table, while the others moved uncomfortably. Were you really that uncomfortable? Mashur sniffed your elbow as you finished drinking. You brushed Mashur’s damp head before you turned to wash your glass. “I wonder what made him change his mind.”

Daichi chuckled little. “That would be us.”

You glanced behind you confused. The men in the room smiled carefully like some shy maidens.

“We didn’t allow him to force you to anything that you wouldn’t like.”

You blinked baffled. “And that was it?”

“Mmm, yup!” Daichi answered. You glanced at everyone if they were holding their laughter but everyone was serious. They weren’t joking or you were missing something.

“He just agreed and left?”

“Ah, no, he didn’t agree at all.” You gave an even more confused look at Daichi, who just stood up from his seat on the sofa and came to wash his coffee cup next to you.

“But he left!” Daichi flashed you a toothy smile which made the Elites give a laugh.

You felt flabbergasted. _They shooed him away?_

Daichi pushed you gently to the side with his warm hand as he started to wash his coffee cup at the sink. Soon he asked if the others would want him to wash theirs too. Soon everyone rushed to the sink. You stared at the captain as he washed dishes and answered to Kuroo’s snide remarks as others got ready for the dinner.

The atmosphere in the room had become so much easier.

Normal.

As you observed the Elites in front of you, you realized that they were… kind-hearted people. All of them. They were worried about you and they cared about you even though you had pushed them away numerous times.

You felt a bit guilty… but also warm.

Really warm.

**_*ba dum*_ **

For a moment you felt like your heart would have tried to jump off your chest but ended up rebounding from your ribs back to its ordinary place. Somehow it tickled you from the inside. _These men are kind,_ you thought as that ticklish feeling spread through your body. “- _\- they will not hurt you.”_ Oscarion’s voice reminded you… and you knew it was true.

For the first time, it felt like they might understand you.

“Okay let’s go to eat!” Daichi called as he washed the last cup and placed it to dry. The Elites started to walk through the hallway while you told Mashur to wait in the lounge. As you turned to follow the others, you noticed that the men made their way really slowly while glancing back at you at times.

They waited for you.

You stopped. There was a fluttering feeling inside you, butterflies.

“Thank you.”

The men stopped like they would have met invisible wall and turned to look at you. They ogled at you. You felt your heartbeat quicken.

“Umm… I m-mean… for supporting and caring and all. Though honestly, I don’t quite understand why you helped me. I’m not, um… very easy… I m-mean, things could be… better… … Or something like that.”

You stared at your feet as you were getting little embarrassed.

They had all the rights to abandon you, so why didn’t they?

The men stared at you confused while some warm feeling was building up in their bodies. The corners of their lips were moving upwards as the warmth reached their cheeks. Once again, Daichi was the one who spoke for them all.

“Let’s just say your wellbeing comes first. (Surname), we believe that you know what is best for yourself and we trust that you know what you are doing.”

You lifted your chin up, everybody nodded and smiled to you supportively. They agreed. _They… trust me?_

Akaashi took a step towards at you as he was smiling the most calming smile you had ever seen. “Just remember that we are here, okay?”

You blinked at the men a couple of times before pressing you head down again.

“O…Okay.”

Though you tried to hide it, the men noticed a small blush appear on your cheeks. It was cute and innocent… and calming. As you made your way towards the canteen Kuroo and Bokuto ruffled your hair while smirking. They felt super proud of you. Even though the truth was that you hadn’t talked and you had pushed the problem and the help to side, they felt like something major was happening in you. Something was changing.

You felt it too. You felt like you could trust these men around you like they trusted you… that they would understand.

You felt like you could finally take a step towards at the end of this maze you were living.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thunder roared outside when you woke up in terror in midnight.

You shot up from your bed, huffing. You fought hard for to breathe while gripping your stomach. You had been shot once again in your nightmares. Mashur was already next to you and whined. Your body was covered in sweat and your throat felt dry and sore.

Pain shot through your throat when you tried to swallow.

“Fuck d-damnit…” you whispered angrily. Even though you hadn’t woken up screaming, the soreness of your throat hinted that you hadn’t slept quietly either.

After the night terror incident, you felt stiff after nightmares. Like you had ran the whole night. You didn’t like that your problems showed without your will; you just couldn’t stop the screaming if you were unconscious.

You tried to swallow again, but the pain was almost unbearable. After calming down a bit, you got up and headed to the kitchen. You didn’t need to put your room’s lights on since the thunder outside was lighting your way. Mashur had his ears pressed back, he hated thunder. He decided to stay in your room, under your bed.

There was a light on in the lounge.

_Somebody is awake?_

You were surprised to find Kuroo from the kitchen. He looked super sleepy.

“Hey…” he whispered and brushed his face tiredly. You just nodded to him and got yourself a glass of water. Kuroo smiled weakly at you. “Again?”

You frowned a bit. _Did he hear me?_

“…just don’t get bothered by it,” you answered, a bit irritated. It was annoying that the Elites now knew about your nightmares. You hated to make people worry about you in vain. Kuroo looked a bit concerned. “I swear I will punch you to face if you make a ruckus about this.”

He smirked. “Pff… my lips are sealed. I have to protect my looks!” He flashed you his cunning smile. You sipped water again and glared at him, suspiciously. Kuroo shook his head and laughed a bit. “No, not really. I know how super annoying it is to explain your nightmares, so I’ll gladly save you from it.”

You blinked. “You? You see them too?”

The thunder made the kitchen light flicker. Kuroo rubbed his neck in an embarrassed manner.

“Yeah… Sometimes at least. It’s not like I can tell when they come but there are occasions when you just know that they appear. Like after a really stressing training or some missions or… well… thunder.”

“Thunder?”

Kuroo nodded. “Mmhm, especially if it starts during night when you the least expect it.” Kuroo looked outside for a moment. He made uneasy face. “I don’t know how to explain it… but thunder sounds like… uh…”

“Like bombing,” you finished his sentence. “It sounds like bombing.”

Kuroo blinked in surprise and nodded again. “Yeah… and the flashes reminds me of firing. Not a really good combination for someone who has seen that all.”

You sat down at the table with him. “Where did - -?” You immediately shut your mouth and pressed your head down. _I shouldn’t ask about his past, when I’m not comfortable to talk about mine either._ Yet you wanted to know; Kuroo always gave you the impression that nothing could bother him. “…”

Kuroo laughed again. “Pff… don’t get fraught about that! I don’t mind telling about it…”

You glanced at him, confused. Kuroo smiled at you before thinking a short moment.

“Hmm… I wasn’t with the Elites yet when it happened. Damn, I wasn’t even in Crow’s Nest back then! I feel so old now, haha…” Kuroo looked outside again. The lightning made the nearby forest look eerie; like it would be full of shadowy creatures. Chills went through your spine. Kuroo sighed. “I had just started to serve the Allied Guards with my team. We were chosen from the army thanks to our perfect team work and success in the tests. We had always been together; the most of us had even enlisted at the same time from the same city. Our team was named ‘Pantheras’.”

Something turned inside you. _P-Pantheras?_ You had heard about the team. Their work had been legendary and everybody who knew about them surely looked up at them. Even your team… no… especially your team had respected them.

“Our team didn’t really try to gain admiration, so maybe you haven’t heard of us. We didn’t even have our own base since we were always moving. We were quite small, but a potent group. Our job was to map every enemy base from different cities and look for connections between different companies and the Blood Brothers. We were quite good at what we were doing.”

Kuroo glanced at you which made you flinch. You took a sip of water again to avoid eye contact.

“I… I’ve heard about your team,” you admitted and met Kuroo’s eyes.

Kuroo squinted his eyes. “Really? I’m surprised that you’ve heard of us. We worked quietly in the shadows for just a couple of years.” For a moment, it felt like he was looking for something. Soon he broke the eye contact; you were getting anxious.

You gulped. “W-What happened…?”

Kuroo smiled tiredly.

“We were in a small city deep inside the enemy territory. We had worked there quite long time, some say for too long, and we had almost built a perfect web between some major individuals and companies. We were so close to figure out who was funding whom and who was behind it all.” His smile twitched before turning quite painful. “It was midnight when the bombing started. Out of the blue. The Blood Brothers had learned how close to the solution we were and were given orders to destroy us.”

The thunder roared again, and chills jolted through your body. “Wait… the bombing… you were in a city when…”

Kuroo nodded, troubled. “They wiped out the whole city.” The memory made him feel uneasy. “The bombing went on three days. It was pure bloodshed. During the days, the enemy patrolled through the ruins and shot anyone they saw, and during the nights they bombed us. I don’t know if you can call it fortunate, but I had divided our team into two groups and sent the other half to investigate villages near the city before the bombing started. Fortunate for them… but those who stayed with me… well… it wasn’t good. Yet some of us survived to see nightmares from that day.”

You stared at the man aghast. “How… You sound just too composed.”

_How could he continue on after that?_ For some reason, your own struggles started to feel so tiny compared to that.

Kuroo shrugged his shoulders and smirked a bit. “Well maybe I am, it happened so long time ago after all. I have gotten over it quite well, only those nightmares remain.”

He yawned and looked to be ready to go back to bed.

You stared at him in awe and shock. The things that had happened to you had happened long time ago too, but you couldn’t just let go of them. How he did it? Your heart stung.

“Just what keeps you going after that…?”

Kuroo blinked tiredly. “My teammates, my bond to them.”

_Teammates,_ you thought beaten, _that’s our difference._ Kuroo still had his teammates. He still had something to hold on to. You had lost even them.

“Don’t you… feel regret or anything?” you whispered weakly.

Kuroo looked at you and pressed his head down. “…of course, I do.”

His answer made your heart drop, _I shouldn’t have asked that._ You were letting your emotions control you again. It never meant good. You squirmed uncomfortably.

Suddenly Kuroo took your hands in his and smiled tenderly. He made your heart jump; you hadn’t known that he could make that kind of expression. “There’s things I regret… but sometimes you have to be merciful to yourself. It was and still is a hard thing to do.”

Your hands trembled as you held down your emotional outburst. Some part of you told you stop your curiosity to there before you revelated things you didn’t want to be known. Yet you breathed out your question:

“H-How?”

Kuroo smiled, painfully, “By accepting the fact that there was no way I could have known that it would happen. Because if I would have known, I would have stopped it.” Kuroo was fighting against his emotions, too. “I _would’ve_ stopped it.”

You could just stare at him, frozen.

Kuroo breathed out a laugh and got up. He gave you a quick hug to calm you down, whether you wanted you it or not. He knew he had upset you. He needed to give you something else to think about.

“Are you okay, (Name)?” Kuroo asked as he embraced you carefully.

You were finally reacting and snapping out of your thoughts. You felt shocked. You were in awe, but sad.

“S-Sorry… that was just…”

“…too deep?” Kuroo asked, a bit playfully.

“I just wasn’t prepared, that’s all.”

Kuroo smiled and let go of you. “Just don’t cry for me, since I’m fine with this.”

“As if I would,” you breathed out as you rubbed your arms. His touch had made your body feel hot.

“Yeah… as if you would.” The coldness of his words startled you and you glanced at him. He answered to your glance with cunning smile. _Is he playing with me again?_ you thought while furrowing. “Anyhow, I will go back to bed.”

You sighed and put your glass away. “Yeah. Good night.”

Kuroo was almost at his door when he turned. “Oi (Name)!” he shouted quietly, and you turned to see him again. He smirked as he said, “I swear I’ll punch you to face if you make a ruckus about this.”

You had to grin. “Don’t worry, I didn’t get _that_ bothered by it.”

Kuroo grinned back and waved you the goodbyes before slipping in his room.

Mashur was waiting you on your bed. He whined uneasily; the storm was still raging outside. You hadn’t even remembered that it had stormed. Mashur became instantly calmer when you permitted him to sleep at your feet on the bed. Somehow hearing Kuroo’s story made you feel a bit better. Safer somehow.

There were people who had seen the hell and gotten away from it.

His words echoed in your mind. _“ - - there was no way I could have known that it would happen.”_ His message felt important but impossible to follow. You could relate to his story. “ _If I would have known, I would have stopped it.”_ It felt simple and confusing at the same time.

_I would have too…_ you thought desperately as you reminisced your past, _but I should have seen it._ You had been the only one who could have stopped it.

Only you could have seen it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

During the free time the guys decided to play ‘ _Texas hold ‘em_ ’ around the coffee table. They used cheerios as stakes which made the game look absolutely idiotic: seven grownup men were getting all worked up from losing or winning some cereals.

You observed their game as you read local newspaper while Mashur hung out with the boys.

Bokuto couldn’t hide his excitement or disappointment so it was easy to guess his cards. Meanwhile it was hard to say anything about Oikawa’s cards but the way he reacted to Bokuto’s reactions gave just enough information to tell how surely he would win Bokuto. When Bokuto got frustrated you could see a sly smile appear on Oikawa’s lips. Kuroo had a good poker-face, but if he got too excited his eyes would turn sharper, and if he thought there was no chance to win he would be emotionless. Akaashi, Iwaizumi and Daichi had probably the best poker-faces but they were careful players and hardly ever raised the stake. Still Sugawara seemed a complex player since he smiled all the time happily: it was impossible to tell if he was disappointed to his cards. He won quite many times by bluffing.

Iwaizumi and Kuroo had a showdown; both of them had put over a half of their stakes in and it was about to reveal the cards. Kuroo had a sly smile on his lips as he revealed his two cards.

“8-high straight.”

Iwaizumi examined at the two open cards on the table. He really had got straight. Iwaizumi sighed as he turned his cards over.

“Flush. I win.”

Kuroo stared at Iwaizumi’s same colored cards shocked as Iwaizumi collected his win.

“Dammit!! I was so close!” Kuroo held his head as he leaned back as the others laughed while congratulating Iwaizumi or comforted Kuroo. As Kuroo opened his eyes he saw you staring down at him an eyebrow risen. He blinked at you as you turned to everyone.

“Would you mind if I joined in?”

You said it like the game seemed boring though Kuroo could sense that you were excited. It’s been so long time when you had played cards.

Sugawara smiled widely. “Of course! We don’t mind! Welcome!”

You nodded and moved to sit on the couch between Iwaizumi and Sugawara. As Bokuto reminded you about the rules you already knew, Oikawa offered you your stakes AKA twenty cheerios for a starter. It seemed that currently Oikawa was leading, Akaashi was coming next and Iwaizumi on third. Bokuto was currently almost broke but things weren’t going well for Daichi or Kuroo either.

Kuroo observed you keenly and when your eyes met with his golden ones, he smiled as to remind you about the conversation you had had together last night. You squinted your eyes and smirked a bit to him which made the man grin wider.

“Looks like (Name) is now familiar with the rules, so let’s start!” Kuroo called and everyone agreed.

You nodded and after everyone had put one cheerio in the middle of the table as the ante, you got your first cards. Iwaizumi was the dealer and dealt the flop. As he turned three cards on the table you saw your chances: there was possibility for a flush. You saw the others glance at you, but you kept your face stern.

Daichi folded immediately but after Oikawa raised also Akaashi and Kuroo folded. When another card was hit to table you knew you won, thus you raised. You could almost hear the men around you grin from surprise. Still they played along till the showdown.

“3 of a Kind,” Iwaizumi said as he showed his cards.

“Tch, two pairs,” Bokuto grunted.

“Ha! Straight!” Oikawa joyed as he slammed the cards on the table.

Iwaizumi glared at the man, annoyed, as Sugawara showed sheepishly that he also had just two pairs. The men turned to stare at you. Oikawa smirked quite cunningly which forced you to smile slyly. They could feel their heart beats quicken, _god she looks sexy with that smile._ When you turned your cards on the table everyone leaned to see them.

“Flush,” you said, sedately, as you hid your smile with your fore finger. “Looks like I won.”

The men stared the cards until Iwaizumi smirked and chuckled. Soon everyone laughed at Oikawa who just tried to hide his letdown. He smirked at you, excited, _she knows how to play!_

You smirked back as you collected your win.

After several hands, the Elites started to understand what was happening. Daichi, Bokuto, Sugawara and Akaashi had fell from the game and now only you, Oikawa, Kuroo and Iwaizumi remained. Currently it seemed that you and Oikawa had as much cheerios. You were much better than they had thought. The game was getting more and more intense and there clearly wasn’t room for any mistakes anymore.

“I raise by two,” Kuroo informed in severe voice as he moved two cereals on the table.

The cards weren’t even on the table yet but still everyone called and Oikawa even raised the stakes more. As the cards were hit on the table you had to fight against the urge of smirk. _They won’t survive this._ There was Ace of hearts, Queen of hearts and Queen of diamonds at the table. You glanced everyone and raised with five. The men squinted their eyes at you but you refused to meet their eyes. Were you bluffing? They called and the game continued.

As the fourth card, 10 of hearts, was turned on the board you heard a cough coming from the hallway. Everyone halted and turned to see who the comer was and soon Tsukishima walked in the lounge. When he noticed that everybody, including you, was playing _‘Texas hold ‘em’,_ he frowned annoyed.

Sugawara blinked, “Kei! What brings you here?” He moved on the couch to face the man.

Tsukishima tilted his head a bit confused before glancing you, your presence turned him immediately angry again. “You are wondering what brings me here, huh? Looks like your game has made you lose track of time. Supper started a half hour ago and none of you were in attendance so I was sent here to check on you.”

Tsukishima glanced at you annoyed once again which confirmed you that he had something to say to you. He had been quite sour towards you ever since you had finished the runaway game… but well you could already guess why.

Sugawara turned to look the clock on the wall. “Whoaa, we have surely missed the time!” Sugawara turned to look everyone “Okay, let’s finish this hand and head to the canteen!”

“Yosh! Whose turn was it?” Kuroo asked as he checked his cards once again. He couldn’t lose anymore.

“That would be me,” you called calmly as you checked your cards again. You sighed and pushed about half of your cheerios on the table, “I raise by 30.”

“What?!” Kuroo shouted, he didn’t even have that much. Iwaizumi and Oikawa stared at you shocked but you played calmly.

Iwaizumi had only 26 cheerios but since the game was ending he decided to play all in. He put his card on the table upside down and folded his hands. “All in then.”

The Elites who had already fell from the game were staring the game intensely. A huge showdown was about to occur if everyone went full ahead. As Kuroo and Oikawa considered what they should do, Tsukishima took a step towards you. You could feel his pressure behind you and you were 100% sure that he wasn’t worked up because of the game. It didn’t take long for him to ask the question that had haunted him almost two weeks now:

“How did those criminals find you?”

The Elites froze. What was their blunt subordinate doing? They knew that Tsukishima had hard time to accept that you had gotten away, but he was stepping over the line. It was just a practice. It was terrifying to think how this will effect on you. But before anyone could say anything you tilted your head and glanced at Tsukishima over your shoulder and the sofa’s back rest.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you’re actually wondering how _you_ couldn’t find me.” Though your voice was calm there was severity in your eyes. The Elites were surprised how calmly you actually took so private question. Two months ago, you would have just spat at the man’s eyes and left the room! Tsukishima’s upper lip twitched annoyed, you had seen straight through him. “But I believe that the fact they found me was as lucky coincidence as the fact, that Sugawara found be about two minutes later was.”

Tsukishima clicked his teeth as his golden eyes darkened.

“Don’t bullshit me, I know there’s something fishy happening with your data.”

“Oh so you couldn’t find some useful information about me?” you asked dumbly as leaned towards the coffee table at you, you wanted to end the game. “I put all-in. Hopefully that helps you to decided what you two are going to do.”

You pushed all your cheerios in the middle of the table and glanced at Kuroo and Oikawa. They gulped, your (e/c) orbs were shining very bizarrely. Like a challenge.

“Yep, let’s go. All-in.” “All-in.”

The last card was turned, Ace of spades.

“Don’t play dumb, (Surname),” Tsukishima’s voice had a warning tone. Sadly, it didn’t affect you. There was no way Tsukishima Kei would make you feel threatened. You turned to the young blond.

“Maybe you should have Guugled me,” you deadpanned. The room fell silent. Were you serious? Guugle? Nobody in the room couldn’t even be sure if you were serious or not. Tsukishima felt anger build inside him, did you really think that he would go as low as using some open internet search to find a wanted person? He had the best devices in his use, the highest of the most developed technology. He had everything needed to find you.

“Ha. Ha. I had already forgotten how funny and smart you were.”

The Elites stared at you in terror, but you just shrugged. “Well… it’s your loss. It’s you who couldn’t find me after all.”

There was almost visible tension between you by now. Tsukishima glared at you pathetically and you answered his glare with a condescending stare. The card game was totally forgotten now. Sugawara jumped up from his place and walked to Tsukishima before he could come up with some totally inappropriate response.

“Please stop. Right now. Thank you.” Sugawara took a firm hold of Tsukishima’s shoulders and forced him to turn away from you. He smiled really troubled at the taller man as a sweat drop appeared on his temple, “Thank you for coming all the way here to remind us from the supper, Kei! We will head to the canteen next and I think you should go to prepare for the night. Right?”

Tsukishima blinked while frowning his brows at the vice-captain. He glared at you.

“ _Right_?” Sugawara asked more severely while holding a forced smile on his face.

“R-Right,” Tsukishima had to answer under the pressure. The gray-haired vice-captain smiled, relieved, and patted Tsukishima’s shoulders before letting go. Tsukishima turned to leave but glared at you one more time. He felt annoyed, you weren’t facing him anymore. He clicked his tongue as he left, swearing that he would find new information from you. He wouldn’t lose just like this.

“Well, that was something…” Oikawa stated as he put his cards on the table upside down.

Bokuto chuckled. “Pff, Tsukki just hates losing!”

Kuroo folded his hands behind his neck as he leaned his back against the sofa’s back rest. “Don’t take any pressure from him, (Name). He hardly ever has anything nice to say anyway.”

“When will you people start to understand that I don’t care about that kind of defiance?”

The men gave short laughs. The mood had returned and the showdown was at everyone’s hands. There were eight cards upside down on the table, five promising looking revealed cards, and all of the cheerios in one pile.

Iwaizumi turned his cards first.

“Flush.”

Kuroo laughed as he revealed his cards. “Haha!! Full house!”

Bokuto high-fived his buddy while Iwaizumi groaned annoyed as he slumped against the coach right next to you. You happened to notice that your arms touched, Iwaizumi’s warmth glowed through his shirt to your arm. Iwaizumi didn’t seem to notice this; he was too worked up.

Oikawa wiped his lower lip with his fore finger before grabbing his cards. He glanced at you and then the others as a smirk appeared on his lips.

“Shame, I got 4 of a Kind! Aces!”

He flipped his card on the table. It took a moment for the others to react but soon they rushed to see his cards.

It was true. He really had two aces.

“GRAAAAHHH!!! This is not even possible!” Kuroo roared while Bokuto laughed at him. Daichi and Sugawara were laughing head on. For once Iwaizumi had to be proud of Oikawa and so he leaned over the table to fist bump his childhood friend. Akaashi also shook hands with Oikawa. Once again you were surprised how primitive men could be – it felt like you were watching bunch of gorillas who were overjoyed over a pack of cards and a box of cheerios.

“We should go, or we miss the supper,” you sighed. A small playful smile paid a visit on your lips as you rose up. Only then Iwaizumi noticed how close to you he had sat; he felt suddenly cold when you rose. You picked up your two cards and left the couch area.

Oikawa raised an eye brown. “Wait a minute… you wouldn’t just put all-in like that if you hadn’t some interesting hand.”

This perked everyone interest and soon they stared at you suspiciously. There was something sly in you. It seemed like you were fighting against an urge to giggle.

“Oi, we put all-in thanks to you so you must show your cards!” Kuroo groaned as a smile appeared on his face. How did you make his heart beat so fast? It felt like you were the source of the excitement and everyone were completely captured by it.

“Yeah, that’s not fair!” Bokuto hooted.

“Oh really? Was it my fault?” you asked playfully dumbly. The men smirked, how could you make their stomach tickle like that? You offered the cards to Sugawara as you glanced at Kuroo. “Well can’t help it! An order is an order after all.”

Right when you felt that Sugawara had hold of the cards you walked off with Mashur who happily followed you. You calculated that you might just be able to let him inside your room but then you would need to run.

The men watched you go in hurry which piqued their interest. Sugawara was already staring at your cards, one in each hand. His eye widened. “Eh?” He immediately rushed to check the cards on the board. He blinked and at each blink his eyes widened a bit more. “EEEEHH?!?!”

The Elites jumped up instantly and shouted in union. “What did she have?!”

They gathered around Sugawara as he stuttered the answer. “R-R-Royal flush of h-hearts!!”

There was no higher hand in the game. The Elites stared at the cards: King of hearts and Knave of hearts. Their minds were blank. Just how? How could you even stay calm after getting those cards?! Your expression hadn’t even twitched during the last game.

They could hear you shout from the hallway. “I won’t take those filthy cereals, thank you ~ ” It was like a gentle slap to face which brought them back to present.

“Oh god I’m so falling for that girl...!” Bokuto whispered as he smirked a stupid smile on his face. The men blushed at the same time – had Bokuto just said their own thoughts out loud? Sugawara grinned as he dropped the cards from his hands and rushed after you. Everyone followed and they just saw you arrive at the back door.

You had stopped to listen why the men were taking slower that you had calculated. Had they fainted? Should you go check? Was it a trap? And as you had stopped to the door you heard as shoes squeaked against floor and soon a black crowd of weirdly blushing men ran towards you. A panicky smile appeared on your face. _I should have run sooner._

You dashed outside.

“(Name)-chaaaan!! Did you by any chance force us to put all-in that you could win all of us in one go?!” Oikawa shouted as he followed you outside with the others. The rain had finally stopped and overcast had started to tear, revealing the blue sky behind it.

“I don’t know what you are talking about!” you shouted back as you ran towards the canteen. You could hear the men laugh and somehow it warmed your fluttering heart. It made you feel alive. The Elites were fake-cursing behind you, joking, and laughing, and you knew that they would catch you at the canteen. After 200 meters you would be trapped by them. But it didn’t scare you anymore. Those men would catch you gently wanted you it or not.

They wouldn’t ever hurt you.

 

 

* * *

 

 

As you were holding the morning run you realized that you had been in the Crow’s Nest almost four months already. Actually three months and almost three weeks. The time had gone past so quickly for once, soon it would be declared if you would become an Elite or not. Ukai had given you four months to prove your talents to the Elites. You found yourself wishing that you would become an Elite, you had worked hard and finally got a hang of the schedules of the Elites.

It was almost summer, mornings were warmer and days longer.

“Okay, let’s finish! Remember to stretch properly before the next practices! You are free to go!” you shouted as you ended the morning run.

As people scattered you stretched your legs and back, you would have the obstacle run after the breakfast. From the corner of your eye you could see an orange blob moving towards the running route. As you turned you managed to see Hinata and Kageyama run another lap. In some level this surprised you, _are they still competing for the title of the Elite?_ Lately the odd-duo had practiced more fiercely than before.

During the obstacle run you noticed that some individuals were running for real. Kindaichi, Lev and Inuoka were totally on fire, and even Kyotani was fiercely improving his scores. This didn’t happen just with obstacle run but with the other practices too. The majority of the base’s soldiers were practicing harder and eating more. Even the Elites spent their free time by practicing.

It was Thursday evening after the supper when you waited for the Elites in the lounge. They had had a voluntary hand to hand combat practice during the free time. Well you had skipped it since you had other things to do.

When all of you were gathered in the lounge, it seemed that the Elites were hurrying to get enough sleep.

You furrowed as you watched the men wash their teeth while changing their clothes and walking around. “I can tell that something is happening in this base and I have started to feel that either I’m not told about it or you don’t want me to know.”

Iwaizumi blinked at you before spitting and rinsing his mouth. “Well… we will have a training camp soon.”

“Hm..?” you hummed suspiciously, this was the first time you had heard about it. “No wonder they were checking everything up and fixing what could be fixed. With whom exactly?”

Iwaizumi opened his mouth at first but bit his lips sealed quickly. He glanced at Daichi helplessly. He clearly didn’t want to be the one to tell you. You furrowed as you turned your attention on the captain.

Daichi looked at you for a moment before answering. “We have a training camp with Eagle Gardens.”

You could feel your upper lip twitch slightly. “…I see.”

Everyone was observing your reactions. It felt like somebody would have invited your ex to a family party; you felt stressed which caused you to feel annoyed. Did the room turn darker? Something turned inside you as you remembered your former teammates’ faces. It creeped your insides as you remembered how they sounded like and how they moved. You didn’t miss them at all.

You tried to remind calm as you asked, “When exactly?”

“Starting over tomorrow.” Daichi observed you tightly.

You inhaled deep as you rose from the bench. “Right.” It was clear that you didn’t like this information. Maybe that was the reason why nobody hadn’t dared to tell you sooner.

“Are you okay with this?” Daichi asked carefully as he watched you wander in the kitchen. You were deep in your thoughts… or you were recalling something. You were furrowing your brows quite tight. “(Surname)?”

You blinked and glanced at the captain. “I don’t believe I have the rights to complain, sir.”

_‘Sir’,_ Daichi thought, _she is backing away again._ This only confirmed that you were not okay with the coming training camp. You were running away again, well literally too, you were moving towards your room but Daichi knew that you needed time to think.

“Just remember that we’re there too.”

You didn’t turn to face him anymore. It seemed like you would have huffed amused. “Right… Good night.”

“Good night…” Daichi said while others called out their good night wishes before you shut the door. The lounge fell silent. Daichi sighed as he turned to walk to his room. “We don’t know why she doesn’t want to come along with the Eagles, but let’s make sure she won’t be left alone with them at any point. Don’t ever leave her alone with them.”

“Roger.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you so much for your encouragements and kind comments! I got so surprised how much I got them! You guys are super important to me, and I'm so relived that you are still with me. I love you! 
> 
> I got a couple of questions and comments after the latest chapter so here's the answers! 
> 
> I was asked how long the Reignited series will be and honestly, _I don't know_. I have a plan how the story will go and I have tried to count the chapters before...but I have noticed that sometimes my ideas dwell and I have to make them two or three chapters long, and sometimes I manage to write them in one chapter. But what I can tell is that around... thirty? _Maybe?_ That what will make the series much longer is that after about four five chapters, I plan to write chapters for every Elite. In those chapters I'll focus on one Elite and the Reader's interaction at a time while moving forward with the plot. 
> 
> The second question was if I did research for the series. Yes, I did, but I did it in the most easy way for me, which was watching a war movies. _A lot_ of war movies. I focused on how soldiers interact with each other and with their authorities, what kind of training they did, how they lived in the bases, and so on. I also watched different training programs for soldiers from Youtube. I'm not specialist, and I'm not trying to be, but I wanted a clearer picture of what the army could be in my story, in a world which I created.
> 
> I also got some criticism about that the protagonist, the reader, was getting a bit boring, and I understand; the reader has serious problems to move forward and she has been stuck in that same kind of mindset for long time now. Everybody tries to help her but she keeps pushing them away. But. If it has made someone frustrated, I have achieved what I intended. _I'm glad_. I appreciate that comment. I have built the reader's personality from my own experiences and emotions, but also twisted them into a darker shade. Sometimes it's just might feel absolutely impossible to seek help and be understood even though the help would be _right there_ , and that's what the reader is struggling with. It's frustrating and at one point it might turn even boring; "If she can't go on, why should I follow this story?" Everybody makes their choices, and my choice was to create a character that makes readers feel emotions, even the negative ones.
> 
> This is a story of reigniting after all.
> 
> ...
> 
> *in tiny voice*  
>  _S-sorry for the long post!_


	13. Eagles and Crows

”Attention!”

Daichi’s voice roared over the lines of the soldiers in front of the main building. Every soldier of Crow’s Nest was welcoming the soldiers of Eagle Garden who were just about to arrive. The full manpower, the demonstration of strength; lines and lines of gray camouflage pants and black t-shirts. The Elites were lined up in the front in their black outfits and black light gears. They were armed though you knew that they had only rubber bullets in use. Yet another masculine way to show who was in the charge. You were standing in the next line, right behind Oikawa, with Kageyama and Hinata and all the supportive teams of the Elites. The Rookies were lined up behind you.

You felt like a deer on an open field knowing that the hunters were approaching. Too exposed.

You had wished to stand in the back like the Rookies, but the commander had had other plans. Those who worked closely with the Elites had to be seen – Crow’s Nest relied on teamwork and cooperation. Crows don’t work alone, but in flocks.

Soon you could hear multiple engines’ drumming and the first military truck drove past the gates. It had sigil of Eagle Garden on its side: a white eagle carrying a golden apple on its claw on light purple field. The sigil of glory and fertility. Hanamaki and Matsukawa were instructing the trucks that they would park correctly and without disturbing the coming ceremonies and events. There were totally five trucks which meant about sixty Eagle Garden’s soldiers. Soon after the trucks stopped, the soldiers in dark green camouflage pants and white t-shirts jumped off and made neat lines in front of you without blocking the entry to the main building, efficiently and in detail. Ukai observed the happening from the main building’s stairs with Shimada and Takinoue and some other men.

The last few men who jumped from the truck. You felt chills as you observed the elites of Eagle Garden taking their places in the front line: Tendou, Oohira, Semi, Shirabu and Goshiki. The Eagles. The men you knew so well without knowing really anything about them. It was frightening to see them standing right in front of you after so long time. They felt threatening.

And then there was Ushijima Wakatoshi, the captain of the Eagle Gardens, the super soldier, whose tactlessness you highly spited. He walked confidently to his place and everyone could feel the pressure of his leadership; he was different from the other Eagles, like a bald eagle in a flock of falcons. Ushijima had a large build and he was tall. He had power.

You kept your eyes on the ground, there was no way you would face him. Absolutely not him.

The commander of the Eagle Garden, Saitou Akira, a man with black hair and glasses, walked to Ukai and they shook hands. The moment when the formalities started Ushijima checked the Elites in front of him. His eyes lingered on each one for a while before moving to the next. After observing Oikawa, he was about to move to next Elite, but suddenly something caught his attention. He saw you. Even though you were staring at the ground and avoiding eye contact you could feel his olive-brown eyes’ intense gaze on you. You bit your teeth together so you wouldn’t tremble.

_Why do I feel so fragile?_

After Ukai had announced the schedules of the upcoming training camp, everyone was given permission to be at ease. Soon the Rookies were freed to go continue their tasks. It didn’t take long for you and the others to be allowed to leave too. You felt so exposed.

But as you started to hurry towards the barracks you could feel Ushijima’s eyes on you again. A cold pressure. Strangling. From the corner of your eyes you could see him walking towards you. No. This couldn’t be happening. You weren’t ready. No. But what could you do if called you? He was your former captain after all. Would you dare to object him? Should you stop? You felt so lost and somehow scared. Ushijima was about ten meters away and about to call out your name.

_No._

Suddenly Oikawa and Iwaizumi stepped between the two of you. You turned and stared at the men in panic. Oikawa and Iwaizumi looked at Ushijima really oppressively which caused the man stop. You gulped as you weren’t quite sure what was happening. You had never felt such pressure coming from those two, they seemed so fierce. For a moment you feared that they might attack him.

Iwaizumi glanced at you, which made you flinch as you stared at him your eyes wide open.

“(Surname), have you fed Mashur yet?”

At first the question felt weird since Iwaizumi obviously knew when you fed Mashur, but when he glanced quickly at Oikawa and Ushijima, you understood. You gulped and shook your head. “N-no, sir.”

“Go do it now. Wait for us there.” Iwaizumi’s voice was deep and severe. It was a clear order.

You nodded with small movements, or you just trembled, before continuing to walk towards the barracks in fast pace. Ushijima didn’t understand what was happening but the moment he saw you leaving he tried to go after you. He really wanted to talk with you about what had happened in the Eagle Garden, plus he wanted to know how you were. Without delay Oikawa stopped Ushijima by blocking his way.

“You are not going there, Ushiwaka.” His chocolate-brown eyes gleamed severity as a mocking smile paid a visit on his lips. Iwaizumi immediately moved next to him for support. Ushijima could just watch helplessly you vanish behind the corner of the main building.

He frowned slightly as he stared down at the Elites. “I only wished to talk with her.”

“Well… you have always had a bad habit of wishing too much,” Iwaizumi snarled, and Oikawa seemed to agree. Ushijima stared at the men, a little confused. Had he really asked for too much sometimes? He couldn’t recall. But before he could reply Oikawa took a step at him which caused them to be uncomfortably close to each other.

“Listen, Ushiwaka. I don’t know what you did to her, but (Name)-chan is now a soldier of Crow’s Nest so keep your hands off her. She is _ours_.” Oikawa’s voice exuded poison, or so Ushijima felt at least. Knowing that Ushijima would need to meet Commander Ukai and make sure that his soldiers knew the rules and schedules before setting to barracks, Oikawa and Iwaizumi went after you. Ushijima watched them go even more confused, how had he managed to piss them off? He hadn’t meant to do so after all.

Well, he didn’t let it bother him as there was much and more things to do right now.

 

 

* * *

 

 

You felt so insecure. The realization had hit you the moment you had stepped in the barracks: the Eagles were here. They were in this base. _Here_. You didn’t have any place to hide or to avoid them anymore. _They are here_. You had locked yourself in your room with Mashur and you could almost hear Ushijima’s breathing through the door. Or so you felt like. He could be there. Could he? Whichever was the case, you didn’t dare to check. Oh god, how much you wanted to abandon this base.

A sudden knocking at your door startled you badly. Mashur’s ears perked up. Was it Ushijima? No. No no. Somebody called your name, but it was hard to be hear who the person was over your crazily beating heart. It was ready flee like a wild bird from a cage. You didn’t dare to answer. What if you just pretended that you were absent? The door handle tilted down and back up, luckily you had locked the door. There was another knock.

“(Surname)? Are you there?”

A huge rock dropped from your heart when you recognized the voice, _Daichi._ You rushed to the door and opened it. Daichi seemed surprised that you actually were inside.

“S-sorry, I didn’t hear you,” you lied as you checked the hall way. There was no Ushjima, no Eagles, nobody… but you could hear Oikawa’s ranting coming from the lounge.

As you let Mashur out Daichi observed you troubled. Had you turned paler?  “I was just wondering if you were feeling okay,” he mentioned carefully.

“Everything is fine,” you answered, a little too quickly. You smiled a little but Daichi could see that the smile didn’t reach to your eyes. Daichi’s brows furrowed and you immediately avoided his gaze as your smile froze on your lips. Everything wasn’t fine. “Everything is just fine, okay?” You repeated yourself without meeting Daichi’s eyes. You wished that he wouldn’t start some plenary session where everybody would decide together how you were feeling.

Daichi sighed as he moved towards the lounge, “Okay. It’s good to know you’re fine.” He was clearly little disappointed but you felt somehow relieved that he actually played along. It almost made your lie become real. However, the fact he had detected your white lie made you feel slightly ashamed. You bit your lip embarrassed, _I’m once again just troubling them._

Suddenly, Daichi patted your back gently. When you glanced at him, he turned his attention on the others, “Let’s go to eat dinner! After that some of us need to show to our guests around and make sure that our soldiers are aware of tomorrow’s schedules too.”

The Elites decided surprisingly quickly who would do anything. For you they gave nothing to do. Mashur followed you and the Elites to the canteen but stayed outside to wait for you like some polite gentleman. It was decided that Mashur would be with you during the training camp, the dog would carry your first aid kit so everything needed would be on hand if needed without limiting you. It reassured you. Mashur was your power and under your control. You had power.

As you were eating, the Eagles came to eat with their Rookies. Tendou gave you a slightly sardonic smile while he picked up his food. The Elites observed the men and you as they ate, you seemed to be alerted around them. You avoided their eyes all the while, though you weren’t submissive. It felt like you were just absolutely disgusted by them. If you didn’t pay attention to them, maybe they wouldn’t pay attention to you. As Tendou and others moved towards you and you tensed up Sugawara watched you in pain, _what have they done to you?_

Tendou stopped at you though everyone else clearly wanted to move further from the group of the glaring Elites. Tendou didn’t seem to care.

“Heeey (Surname) ~… How have you been? I saw you during the opening ceremony but you seemed to be adoring the rocks at your feet.” Tendou smiled, which made his sleepy eyes squint slightly, making his stare sharper. He stared down at you, satisfied. You focused on the food though your appetite was effectively fading. The Elites felt annoyed. Really annoyed. The pressure grew in the table. “But well, it’s good to know that you enjoy it here… we don’t really have this much rocks to adore after all. It’s a bit of a… _waste._ ”

When Tendou’s last vicious word slipped out his mouth, Bokuto and Kuroo immediately shoot up from their benches. Their beastlike golden eyes glowed fatally and murderously at the red haired man next to you. There was no way they would let Tendou mock you right in front of them. Whatever he meant with that last commend they weren’t buying it.

Kuroo was closest to Tendou.

“Did you say something?” he hissed as Bokuto was ready to rush to his bro’s support if needed. Some veins on their temples and arms had popped up. Tendou was surprised by their reaction, though he could sense that you were surprised too. You had stopped. Frozen. He could figure out that you weren’t used to this either. Soon Tendou felt quite a strong pull hauling himself from you - Oohira pulled him to his side while Semi stepped towards you.

He bowed deep at you, “We apologize! We haven’t completely become accustomed to the climate nor environment which is making us tense and tired. I hope you can overlook Tendou’s offensive manners!”

Kuroo squinted at the man before glancing at Tendou and the large built man with thick dark hair. Oohira was currently glaring at Tendou who was just dumbly avoiding his death stare.

“I don’t care. Go away.” Your voice was emotionless but severe though you never turned your attention from the food. Still Kuroo could sense that there was a storm inside your head - otherwise you would have answered something snarky at Tendou, wouldn’t you? You wanted to run.

Semi looked at you sternly like your answer wouldn’t have surprised him at all before bowing again as a thank you. The Eagles dragged Tendou to their table and soon everyone could hear how they scolded him. Kuroo and Bokuto sat back down but refused to remove their gaze from you, their appetites had vanished. Though it looked like you weren’t bothered by it they could see how tensed you had become.

You were remembering the old days you had spent with the Eagles. Well… you hadn’t spent time with them but you had been quite captured inside the base with them. Nothing had changed it seemed – they still made you feel weak and trapped. Tendou’s snark wasn’t new to you but the fact he had sank his fang in you in front of everyone had totally taken you off guard. It only encouraged you to stay alerted – you weren’t safe. Nothing had changed. Tendoo would mock and bully you while Goshiki and Shirabu would encourage him. Oohira and Semi were probably only ones who didn’t pay attention to you.

But you couldn’t care. They could try and provoke but you wouldn’t break.

You wouldn’t allow them that joy.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The rest of the evening had gone by in a blur for you.

“I don’t understand how that redhead even dared to mock us in front of us!” Bokuto groaned as everyone was preparing for the night in the lounge. The other Elites had turned quiet. It had totally caught them off guard. Though everyone knew the Eagles quite well they had never seen Tendou acting that nastily.

You would have wanted to correct Bokuto that it was _you_ who he had mocked but it felt like a worthless effort. He would just get worked up over it… plus, you were freaking exhausted to talk about the matter. You had learned a long time ago that the best way to get over those mocking was forgetting them – Tendou has always wanted to set you off. To upset you. You wouldn’t give him that joy.

You sighed tiredly. “Just… don’t mind about Tendou… He’s sardonic and loves to intimidate everyone. Just forget it.”

Oikawa frowned, annoyed. “As if his actions could be forgotten like that! There is no way he can act like that without taking the consequences!”

“Then just learn to forget it!” you shouted at Oikawa. You were so tired and frustrated that you just wanted to go to sleep and forget this day. If the higher-ups had heard your prayer last night, you would fall into a coma and wake up when the training camp would be over. “Tendou enjoys it when he manages to upset someone and it gives him strength to continue. By letting his actions and mocking upset you, you only encourage him to continue and then it’s just harder to make him stop!”

Oikawa, Bokuto, and Kuroo grimaced. Everything you just said described Tendou almost perfectly. Akaashi and Sugawara gulped as they hoped that other Eagles wouldn’t be as complicated as this one. But how you could stand such an annoying man? Tendou was aiming at you after all, and by your reactions the Elites could figure out that he wasn’t the only one who was messing with you. You avoided every Eagle.

Bokuto scratched his neck, uneasy.

“It’s not nice to see you so reserved around them, (Name). I’d want to smack their noses in for what they did to you… erm… whatever they did to you… …just what did they do to you..?”

The Elites’ eyes flashed for a moment and you knew that they were clearly thinking _the worst_ but thank god that wasn’t the case. You weren’t _that_ weak! Their bullying was basically based on deceiving and thanks to that you didn’t trust them at all. But should you tell the Elites about their “jokes”… could you really tell them how Tendou and the others had abandoned you in the middle of forest during a training session and you had had to hike to the base with Mashur only to get scolded for being late? Or should you just mention that Tendou forced Mashur to be kenneled by claiming that the dog had attacked him and Goshiki had ‘confirmed’ this? There were quite a few memories of those times.

After a short recollection you turned to face the Elites. A tired smile appeared on your pretty but currently sad looking face and in that exact moment they knew you wouldn’t speak the truth.

 “Sorry guys… I’ve already forgotten.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

The forest around the shooting range echoed from gunshots. Some brave little birds were still around and you could occasionally hear their distant chirping. There was a bunch of crows wandering on the area while cawing. Since summer was close, the mornings weren’t so chilly anymore and the air was little moister than usual. The day would surely be hot one, you could taste it.

“Next ones! Take your places!” Takinoue’s voice pierced through the air.

That meant you so you jogged to a shooting place with your rifle. Ennoshita just got up when you arrived, he gave you a small encouraging nod with a careful smile before heading off. As you took your position you thought everything Oikawa, Sugawara and Akaashi had taught you. Firm hold. Contact with shoulder. Right angle.

“Five shots standing and five lying! Ready!” You took a deep breath and aimed. You felt so anxious, nothing was right. Messy thoughts. Trembling hands. “Go!” You held your breath as you shot and loaded. In no time you were on your stomach shooting the next five shots. Before rising up you peeked through the sight of the rifle to see your result. You felt displeased.

As you moved to give others room to continue, you bumped into Oikawa who was shooting next. He smiled sweetly at you. “Your form was beautiful, (Name)-chan! Just like you ~ ”

You stared at the man, unimpressed. Was that really a needed comment? You would be lying if you claimed that you hated Oikawa’s praises but right now those were needleless. You just clicked your tongue annoyed. “I forgot to raise my elbow again. That mistake cost points for us.”

It was a competition between the bases – the better everyone wielded in the practices, the higher scores the bases got. Every soldier’s performances and scores were summed which made up the base’s total score and the base with best score got a point. There were various trainings to come but the day had started with the shooting. Your performance had been as bad as it had been four months ago though you had trained hard. It made you feel frustrated, which added up to your current uneasiness, made you feel horribly uncomfortable.

Oikawa smiled at you, _aww she is pouting._ He patted your shoulder, gently, and leaned his head closer. “There’s no need for sulking, (Name)-chan, since I’m here. I’ll get those points back in no time ~ “

Before you could correct Oikawa that you _were not_ sulking the brown-haired man moved relaxed to the place where you had been. He took the rifle off his shoulder and loaded it swiftly before taking his position. It was an absolutely perfect bladed-off stance: his left shoulder faced the target, his hands held the gun firmly and he had relaxed but steady footing. He pressed his cheek against the gun and aimed.

You stared at the man, hypnotized - he looked so confident, and he knew what he was doing. A masterpiece.

When Takinoue gave permission to shoot, Oikawa shot five times in instant before laying down. He was so quick and… bold. When Oikawa got up the rest of the soldiers were just laying down. Oikawa wiped his pants from dirt, he looked concentrated. Only when he noticed that you were still watching him, the severity melted from his face and he smiled in the familiar cunning way. You turned your face away, _shit, my face feels warm!_ As you and Oikawa checked the scores you felt annoyed all over again.

There was just one hole in the middle of Oikawa’s shooting target.

As you stared the target annoyed Oikawa leaned to see it over your shoulder. You could feel his breath on your cheek. “Hmm..? See, I told you. There’s nothing to worry about ~ “

Your upper lip twitched and a vein on your temple popped up. It was so annoying how good he was. It was frustrating that you could only admire him. You had shot with all you talent and your score wasn’t even half of Oikawa’s score. _How can this guy be so relaxed and talented?_

Ushijima observed you and Oikawa from the distance as he waited his turn to shoot. You could feel his stare on some level of your consciousness, but you didn’t dare to turn and see if the feeling was correct. Soon Sugawara came to you and Oikawa. You were talking about the scores when Tendou and Goshiki came to check their scores. Sugawara and Oikawa turned immediately uneasy and defensive which made you feel even more unease. Of course, Tendou felt their uneasiness too and he seemed immediately more confident.

“Whoaa! Oikawa you totally nailed this training… unless you didn’t miss the other nine shots,” Tendoo sang while Goshiki stared Oikawa’s score stars in his eyes.

“Oh! Was I supposed to shoot only ten times?” Oikawa acted surprised while Tendou smirked in response. Was this proud Elite actually acting dumb? That would be unexpected. Oikawa scratched his neck. “Haha, I could swear that I shot more! Ooops… looks like I should _concentrate_ on shooting next time.”

The chocolate brown haired man glanced at Tendoo sharply as a cunning smile appeared on his lips. Tendou smirked back in annoyed way while Goshiki gulped. Tendou glanced at you which made you feel really uneasy though you managed to hide it.

“Well maybe you all should concentrate on shooting next time. Maybe you could actually improve, hm?” Tendou smirked at you before walking away. Oikawa’s eyes flared and he was about to talk back but you stopped him by gripping his wrist. Oikawa blinked the fury from his brown orbs as turned to look at you. You shook your head and Oikawa could hear you saying ‘ _forget it’._ Oikawa and Sugawara watched you in pain.

“I think we should go.”

It was time for the obstacle run.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“GO KUROO GO!!”

“Don’t you DARE to fall behind, GOSHIKI!!!”

Bokuto and Oohira shouted head on while each teams Rookies rooted for the runners. Kuroo and Goshiki ran side by side and neither of them was willing to fall behind. Still, after the half way mark Kuroo sped up and managed to take the lead. Little by little the distance between them grew longer and Kuroo finished the obstacle run as the champion. Some Rookies arrived last to the finish line, they had no chance to compete with the elite soldiers. Kuroo high-fived with Bokuto who had won against Tendou a moment ago.

You watched anxiously as the next four runners moved to the starting line. It wouldn’t take long utnil your turn would come and you weren’t really thrilled about it. Mashur pressed his side against your leg and looked up at you. You sighed as you glanced the canine before starting to stroke his head. Still you couldn’t calm down. People from both sides had expectations from you which you weren’t going to fill. Usually you didn’t care about it but somehow the issue had started to bother you more and more. Maybe because the Elites wished you could be honest with them and you really wanted to rely on them but… not now. It wouldn’t work. It was better to keep your talents hidden. For your own sake.

Hinata, Kageyama and Yamaguchi walked towards you. They had finished the obstacle run a while ago and managed to win against some Rookies from Eagle Garden. They seemed too excited. It worried you.

“Hey (Name)! It’s your time soon so you should start to flex.” Hinata smiled his wide excited smile and his eyes sparkled. You furrowed your brows and pursed your lips, _why must he be so excited?_ This was just a game to check which base would do better and still everyone was giving it their all. It was stupid. Hinata tilted his head confused. “(Name)? Are you going to run?”

For a moment your eyes flared from anger but as soon as you understood that this simpleton meant the obstacle running, not escaping from the situation, you calmed down. Hinata and Yamaguchi flinched at your expression while Kageyama just furrowed his brows, annoyed.

You frowned. “Yeah…” you answered though you weren’t sure if you meant running away or the obstacle run. “I already warmed up,” you lied.

Hinata put his hand on hips and pursed his lips. “No you didn’t.”

“Are you stalking me?” There was a hint of anger in your voice.

“N-no! But shouldn’t you flex and warm up, so you can beat that Eagle?”

You looked at the small orange haired man confused, _Eagle? Who?_ You didn’t like the sound of it.

Kageyama tilted his head. “We saw with who you’ll be running when we checked our scores. That Shorubu guy is in the same set with you and some Rookies.”

Hinata flicked Kageyama’s forehead, annoyed.

“It was Kenjorou, not Shorubu!”

“No it wasn’t! Kenjirobu was his first name, idiot!”

“Was it?!”

As the duo went on and on you felt blood rush from your face. Yamaguchi saw this and tried to calm the duo down worriedly in vain. Mashur pushed your arm which made you wipe your face. Hinata and Kageyama were shouting at each other, fighting.

“Shirabu Kejirou,” you sighed while wiping your eyes with your thumb and forefinger. Hinata and Kageyama stopped and turned to you.

“Exactly!” “Yeah, that’s him.”

You sighed and crouched down next to Mashur. _Great. Just absolutely great._ That man despised everyone and was quite fast too. You knew that you could overrun him but… you had never dared to even try.

This was just a game. Nothing important.

Hinata stared at you, confused: why weren’t you excited? Weren’t the Eagles your old teammates? Maybe you were doubting your skills or you were just shy to show them to others. Everyone in Crow’s Nest knew that you didn’t try your hardest but maybe you would try now for the competition. Mashur tilted his head as Hinata crouched down in front of you.

“You don’t need to feel stressed about this since you’re super-fast! There’s no way you would lose to him!” Hinata encouraged you but little did he know that was exactly what you didn’t want to hear. You glanced at Hinata gloomily but Hinata just smiled his bright smile. “Cheer up! You do fine!”

You stared at him blankly before glaring at him, murderously. Hinata gulped but before he could run your grabbed his shirt’s collar and pulled him to his knees in front of you. The cold stare of your (e/c) orbs made Hinata tremble.

“Don’t expect things for me because I won’t fulfill them willingly. This is just a game, not a real fight.”

Hinata’s face turned pale so you pushed him away and stood up. Mashur immediately stood up too, waiting for orders.

“Just a game?” Kageyama asked sharply. Yamaguchi tried to stop the sniper but Kageyama just pushed past him and faced you. “What the hell is wrong with you? Why is it so hard to you just do as - - !?”

“What is going on here?” A familiar low voice asked. Everyone turned to see Daichi who observed the four of you. “For a moment it sounded like you were quarreling. Hopefully that wasn’t the case, hm?”

Yamaguchi, Kageyama and Hinata immediately took straight poses and faced the captain like proper soldiers while you couldn’t care.

“N-no, sir! No quarreling!” Kageyama answered stiffly and obviously lying.

You glanced at Daichi, tired, but the captain just gave you an uncomfortable smile before shooing the Rookies away to get prepared for the dinner. The trio glanced at you one more time before leaving, but you paid no attention on them. Daichi could see and sense that you were stressed, and he knew that you wouldn’t want to run. There was a sound of gunshot and another set of soldiers started to run through the obstacle route. Both of you watched in silence as the soldiers ran.

“Is it the running that makes you feel uncomfortable or doing your best in general?” Daichi asked without making eye contact with you. You glanced at him and sighed.

“Everybody here knows my opinion towards trying and I believe that the Eagles haven’t forgotten it either. It just seems worthless.”

The runners finished and Takinoue called the next names, including Shirabu and yours. The Eagle made his way towards the starting line with the others and it didn’t take long for Takinoue to start looking for you. You bit your lip, there was no escaping. It would be shameless to hide now. After telling Mashur to wait, you moved towards the starting line.

“Do your best.”

You glanced at Daichi who smiled a bit restlessly at you. You frowned. “You say that though you know I won’t do it.”

“I have witnessed your talent and I have an idea what you are capable of.” Daichi sighed and nodded. “I can always hope to see it again.”

It stung your heart to hear it. You stopped and turned to face the captain. Something in him signed from melancholy though he tried to hide it under his smile. It didn’t make you feel good.

“…you’ll just end up hurting yourself by wishing too much,” you whispered before jogging to the starting line.

The desperation forced Daichi to sigh. Though he had prepared himself for the possibility that his words wouldn’t reach you, it was still depressing. He watched you get prepared for the run before moving to the finish line where Kuroo and Bokuto were already waiting. If they couldn’t make you feel safe, at least they could be there for you if you needed encouragement or support.

The obstacle run didn’t go very well for you. Since you were so nervous about the fact you were running against Shirabu, you reacted to the starting shot too slowly. You lagged behind everyone though it was easy get past the Rookies later. But when you tied with Shirabu you couldn’t find courage to run past him. It felt like there was a glass wall moving in front of you with no way past it and you couldn’t find power to crash through it either. The Eagle glanced at you, displeased many times and tried to block your going more than once during the run, but you always dodged him and stayed by his side. You could hear cheers but you refused to listen them.

You ran past the finish line almost side by side and when you stopped Shirabu was out of his breath and sweating while you had no bigger problems with breathing. Kuroo, Bokuto and Daichi stared at you troubled, maybe even disappointed. It made your chest feel tight, almost like you were trapped between two walls. _I can’t feel ashamed now,_ you thought as you whistled Mashur come over to you. _I made the right choice._ So why did it started to feel like a bad decision?

Soon you heard Goshiki’s hurrah.

“Hell yeah!! You won by mere milliseconds, Shirabu!”

Tendoo shook the copper haired man’s head excited. “That’s our KenKen!!”

Shirabu pushed Tendoo away, embarrassed, before heading towards the canteen. You stared at the Eagles and felt somehow… beaten. Why were you feeling so beaten, actually? This wasn’t a new outcome for you. You were supposed to be used to this. It wasn’t supposed to matter so why it annoyed you? IT was confusing. You pressed your hand into tight fist, nails sinking in your palms.

_Why do I feel regret?_

 Mashur whined and licked your fist but you didn’t react to it. It felt like there was a hole widening on your chest and cold air was rushing in.

_Why am I feeling like this?!_

“(N-Name) - - “ Kuroo approached you but before he could reach you and orange blob ran past him.

“WHAT WAS THAT?!” Hinata screamed at you. “Just what was that?! You are much faster than him so how come you lost to him!!”

His brown eyes flamed almost same color as his messy orange hair, he was self-evidently pissed off.

You glared at the man and clicked your teeth. Wasn’t that shrimp supposed to be getting ready for the dinner? He was the last person you wanted to lecture you. A Rookie. You attempted to leave but Hinata didn’t allow that and he quickly blocked your way. Forcing to stop you. Trapping you.

“Answer me!!”

Your eyes flared. “It’s not your business so shut up already.”

What gave him the right to order you? There was almost visible ill tension between the two of you. Neither of you were going to give in which made pressure grew heavier and heavier. Kuroo and Daichi separated you two.

“There there… let’s calm down now,” Kuroo pacified though there was no way that either of you would calm down just like that.

Both of you were breathing heavily, there was ticklish feeling in your guts. Hinata was still glaring at you and you refused to be the one breaking the eye contact. When Daichi finally blocked your vision, you clicked your teeth again and looked away. Daichi tried to put his hand on your shoulder but you flicked his hand away and backed away.

“I need to… need to get out of here or I might beat him senseless,” you whispered without making an eye contact and for once you weren’t lying. You could hear a continuous high sound, like a fuse was burning inside your head. You would explode. It was hard to breathe steadily. Your muscles tickled.

Daichi stared at you severely before nodding. “I’ll come with you, let’s go.”

He patted Kuroo’s shoulder and nodded to Bokuto an uneasy expression on his face. The men gulped before nodding slightly almost like they understood what he had thought. When you walked with Daichi and Mashur past them, Hinata’s eyes flared again. He dashed at you but Bokuto and Kuroo stopped his going.

“Let her be already, chibi!” Bokuto shouted but the smaller man hardly heard him. Hinata gritted his teeth frustrated when he couldn’t reach you. Why were you always out of his reach? Why you used your strength to stay hidden and behind others?!

“WHY couldn’t you even **TRY**?!” Hinata screamed at you.

You stopped. The hissing sound inside your head had quieted. Daichi watched you alerted as your expression turned grim. Dark.

_Boom._

“Because this is just _a game_ ,” you snarled, and turned to Hinata.

Kuroo could feel Hinata flinch under his grip but he couldn’t blame the Rookie: even the two Elites felt threatened under your beastlike eyes. Mashur stayed behind and whimpered. It felt like they were facing some predator not just an angry woman. There was a shadow of a snarling beast behind you following your steps towards Hinata. Fatal.  

“You aren’t _chased_. You aren’t _aimed_ at. You aren’t in _DANGER_. You aren’t in the enemy territory. You. Are. Not. Out. _There._ THIS is NOT **REAL**!”

Daichi grabbed your arm and didn’t let you wriggle free this time.

“Why would I need to run my breath away just to get **_A SINGLE POINT_!?!** ”

“FOR THE TEAM! I WOULD DO IT **FOR THIS _TEAM_!!** ” Hinata screamed while Kuroo kept him from bouncing on you. You felt the hair in your neck stand up and your muscles tensed. You wanted to brutalize that man.

“ **THAT’S ENOUGH!!** ” Daichi shouted as he pulled you closer to him. “You **DO _NOT_** start fighting in the middle of this training camp! You are teammates, dammit!”

Daichi glared at Hinata who flinched under the captain’s stare. Hinata turned his gaze on the ground submissively while biting his lip; he was still worked up but also confused of his own rage. Daichi turned his eyes on you but you refused to meet them. Your body was trembling from the adrenaline rush which was lit by your anger and frustration. Even though you tried to deny it, Hinata was right. He was right. You were supposed to do this for this team. Realizing that hurt your soul but at the same time you couldn’t help your actions. You couldn’t help them.

Daichi stared at you for a moment before turning to the other Elites. “Kuroo, Bokuto, escort Hinata to Kageyama and the others and go to eat. We will accompany you soon.”

Without warning Daichi turned around and dragged you with him. He said no word, just pulled you to the side of the training grounds. Panic started to build in you the further you went, you couldn’t detach yourself from Daichi’s grip. Mashur followed you ears perked up in alertness, faint deep growling filled his throat. The captain pulled you into a warehouse where he let you go after shutting the door, leaving the growling dog outside.

“What are y - -?!”

“Pull yourself together, (Name)!!” Daichi shouted at you. You shut up and watched as the captain walked around the warehouse, stressed. Soon he turned to you again. “Listen, I have played with your rules and turned a blind eye to your arrogance but I’m getting fed up! This cannot go on! Just on whose side are you?!”

You were taken aback, _whose side?_ Chills went through your body. Whose side were you? You were on the Elites’ side obviously. At first the question felt absurd and hurtful, but the more you thought about it the faster the realization hit you: you had let the other base win. For you this event was just a stupid game, but to the others it wasn’t. The Eagles won thanks to you.

Sweat drops appeared on your temple and your chest felt tight again. You had betrayed the men who only wanted to support you. Terushima’s words suddenly rang in your ears, “ _You are a **traitor’s wife** after all.”_ Chills. A traitor. You leaned against a wall and gripped your stomach, the pain was getting worse. _On whose side am I?_

Daichi watched your expression turn dark and scared as your face turned paler. You slid down against the floor until you were sitting in the floor, staring through the concrete floor. The captain had no idea what thought had crossed your mind, but you were once again gripping your stomach, and when that ever happened you felt really bad. During the night terror attack, you had almost ripped your stomach open.

Daichi sighed and sat down on a chair.

“I’m sorry, that question crossed the bounds of good taste. I’m sorry, (Name).”

You stirred little before shaking your head, “I-it’s okay. I don’t mind.”

It wasn’t okay. Daichi observed you, sad, and decided to give you some more time to calm down. He needed to calm down too. The room fell silent for a moment. The pressing silence turned slowly into quietness. When Daichi saw your body relax little and color return to your face he felt like he could relax too. He cleared his throat as a sign that he wanted to speak.

“You know… Crow’s Nest and Eagle Garden has totally different ideologies of what an efficient army should be, and that’s why the competition is really strong between us. We try harder against them than against any other base,” Daichi told in quiet voice. When you glanced at him he showed you his gentle and reassuring smile. “It’s has always been like that really. Crow’s Nest is a base that relies on teamwork and cooperation. We survive by working together as one. Eagle Garden is almost perfect opposite of us since they believe in simplicity and raw power. There every single soldier must be unbeatable, flawless and identical unit to create a working system together. They don’t accept flaws or weaknesses while our base believes that everyone is unique, with their bugs and strengths. We fill those flaws by working together which makes us strong.”

You had never actually thought how different the bases were though you had seen them both from close. You listened Daichi carefully and understood why this base was so obsessed with teamwork. It made sense. Here everyone trusted others while in Eagle Garden you were supposed to survive on your own. Maybe that made it harder for you to believe that you didn’t need to survive on your own. That and your past.

The room turned silent again.

“Please, talk to me.”

Your breath trembled as you sighed. “Is there… something you want to hear?”

Daichi chuckled little. “Nothing specific really...” He stared at his hands for a second before looking at you again a faint smile on his lips. “…but I would want to understand you better. That would really help right now.”

_It’s honesty that creates understanding_ , you remembered as you observed the captain in front of you. Honesty. You had started to fear that word; it told too much, and you couldn’t fake it later on. But for once you forced yourself to face it. To take a grasp of it and speak a truth. Be honest.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes.

“Underestimation… saved me once,” you said quietly. You could hear Daichi move, he was listening. “I survived because I didn’t tell everything about myself. I… hid my talents from the start, and thanks to that I survived something impossible. Underestimation is the only thing that can keep me safe from anyone and I don’t sacrifice that kind of triumph just like that. If I reveal my cards I cannot run anymore. I won’t get away. I cannot protect myself from another - - “ The word got stuck in your throat like a dry piece of bread. You swallowed and opened your eyes and stared at the ceiling, “- - b-betrayal. I wouldn’t be able to protect myself from another betrayal.”

It was horrible to say it out loud. You felt so defenseless.

Daichi felt aghast.

“(Name), we wouldn’t ever betray you! We already think that you are a part of this family. We can protect you!” All of sudden he remembered what you had told about the man who had shot you. He had been an important person to you so of course you were afraid of another betrayal. It made absolutely sense but Daichi would have never guessed that it was also blocking you from showing your talents. Underestimated. It described you well, you were full of mysteries. You always did better than expected if you just allowed yourself to do it.

You bit your lip. “Betrayal is based on trust, Daichi… and I…” _And I have already started to trust you guys._ It scared you and Daichi knew it. He knew that you trusted him and his team, otherwise you wouldn’t have told these things. Daichi came to you and crunched down in front of you.

“I understand,” Daichi whispered and you felt chills. “(Name), I understand. You don’t need to believe me, but I promise you that we’ll never deceive you. I give you my word.”

Daichi offered you his right hand.

“I promise you.”

It felt absurd. How could he promise that so easily? Was he bluffing? No. Daichi would never bluff, he was too honest. When you observed his eyes you could see that he was serious.

You glanced Daichi’s hand before looking at Daichi again. Then back to his hand. Shit, what were you supposed to do? You couldn’t just shake his hand. You weren’t ready for it. But he was offering his hand. Daichi breathed out little restlessly, which made you panic. You gripped his hand with your left hand and since your hand was so much smaller than his you only caught his two fingers. You felt so small.

Daichi’s eyes widened for a moment, but when he saw your embarrassed state his heart melted. You weren’t ready to trust him but you grabbed his hand all the same. Daichi smiled like an idiot as he tightened his hand around your slender fingers.

“Okay... Let’s go so we won’t miss the dinner.” His voice was so sweet that you got only more flustered. You hid your red face with you free hand and nodded. Daichi chuckled shortly and pulled you up. He leaded you through the warehouse to outside where Mashur waited for you.

The dog immediately fussed around you before sniffing your and Daichi’s linked hands. Mashur licked and pushed Daichi’s hand which made the captain laugh. He gently opened his hand which allowed Mashur to push your fingers with his snout. Your possessive dog was getting jealous.

A small smile appeared on your lips: you had never seen Mashur act so jealously. As soon as you loosened your grip on Daichi’s hand Mashur separated your hands with a strong push. The dog seemed to be super satisfied with the result as his tails started sway furiously and he pushed you with his head like some cat he thought he was. Daichi laughed and you had to smile at your dog’s actions before calming your companion down. You glanced at Daichi who smiled to you a faint red color on his cheeks.

“Let’s go then.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

A small truth. All that was needed was a simple confession to make you feel better. Calmer. It didn’t remove you uneasiness or stress but it felt like air around you was cleaner. Lighter. It was easy to breathe. Kuroo and Bokuto couldn’t take their eyes off you as you ate dinner. They glanced at the captain all the while confused. What he had done to you? For a moment before you had been ready to kill anyone at sight and now you were almost pacifistic. Well, you still tensed when an Eagle walked past you but your reactions were much more controlled.

But that peacefulness and especially that pacifisms was about to be destroyed – it was almost time for the day’s last training: the hand-to-hand combat. The combats would be one-on-one, and the opponents would be chosen by raffling. Everyone would fight five times and the ones who got most wins would participate on the next day’s final combats where only the winners moved forward. The last match would be between the best two soldiers.

Luck was on your side for once and you didn’t need to face any Eagles during the matches. The first three of your opponents had been some Rookies from Eagle Garden who you had beaten quite effortlessly though they evidently were tougher fighters than the Rookies of Crow’s Nest. They were bolder and very skilled, but as Daichi had told you, they were all identical. It didn’t take any magic tricks to beat them. Any of them.

On the fourth round you faced one of your own base’s Rookie. He was short, and had light brown hair and eyes, and if you remembered correctly his name was Yaku. Short but fierce, a friend to that giant child Lev… if they even were friends. Yaku usually just scolded and shouted at him.

As Yaku flexed his arms in front of you, you sighed. _He is really taking this seriously._ Since the both of you were from the same base, Crow’s Nest wouldn’t get points from your combat. Only when the opponents were from the different bases the points would be given. It was accurate since Eagle Garden was the underdog, as they had only around fifty-five soldiers plus the Eagles.

Once again Takinoue pulled the training and soon everyone were given permission to start their fourth round in the hand to hand combat. You observed bored as the soldiers around you started to circle around and test their opponents. What were they gaining with this? It was so troublesome.

“You think this is pointless,” Yaku suddenly said. You hadn’t even noticed that you had been observed that closely.

“Well this won’t give our base any points will it?” you sighed.

“No, but you can still do this for other reasons.”

You snorted little. “Like?” _Please don’t say ‘for the team’._

“For pride.” His cat-like eyes gleamed so brightly that it made chills go through your body. “The Elites are soldiers who follow the rules as stated and take responsibility for everything they do. Therefore, they stand proudly behind the orders and their actions, even if the situation they’re facing is fucked up or impossible… and once you’re an Elite, I believe you must learn to follow those ideologies too. That will be expected from you.”

You looked at the short man slightly amused. “Is that really so?”

“So I think,” Yaku gulped but remained calm otherwise. You squinted your eyes and smirked a little.

“I might be a slow learner.”

“Yet it wouldn’t be impossible to learn, just slow. You just admitted it yourself. “

You chuckled a little, this guy totally caught you. His sharpness charmed you, it had been so long time when somebody had actually dared to talk to you like that. You turned to face the short man while you smiled with a cunning gleam in your eyes.

“Yaku Morisuke, wasn’t it?”

Yaku needed to take a deep breath when he saw your smile, _gods she’s stunning._ A sweat drop appeared on his temple as he nodded. “Yes, Ma’am.”

_Ma’am_ , you thought amused. That gave you a hard time trying to stay composed. Ma’am. It made you sound so old and high ranking, but mostly old. Careful excitement lit your (e/c) orbs as you took your stance.

“Let’s go then ~ ,” you teased before preparing for the attack.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Meanwhile Tsukishima had hard time to blocking Tendou’s attacks. It felt like the man wasn’t even trying to defeat him, he was just playing around. It was really irksome and exhausting but the smirk on Tendou’s tired looking face made everything feel twice as horrible. Tsukishima clicked his tongue as he dodged another fake attempt to hit him before returning the attack. He couldn’t reach the Eagle. It was frustrating. Troublesome and useless.

“So Glasses, how have you liked your new teammate?” Tendou asked as he dodged Tsukishima again. The strategist wasn’t quite fast which made his teasing more amusing. “As her former superior I truly wish that she hasn’t caused you too much headaches. She tends to be a bit troublesome.”

_‘A bit troublesome’ you say,_ Tsukishima clicked his teeth as he tried to catch Tendou once again. You were almost impossible.

The red-haired man pushed him past him easily and raised an eyebrow. “Is (Surname) really that tedious?”

Tsukishima grimaced, was this man able to read minds now too? Tendou smirked as he realized that his guess had been correct. He laughed little, _I’m so cool dammit!_ Then his eyes turned more serious and threatening aura appeared around him. Tsukishima gulped, alerted, but before he could brace himself Tendou was already at him. The Eagle gripped his arms and took firm choke hold of Tsukishima.

“There has been a question in my mind ever since I arrived here but that small cat-boy refused to answer me. Maybe you could do me a favor, hm?” Tendou could feel Tsukishima’s adam's apple move up and down under his arm. Tendou smirked. “Don’t you think that (Surname) causes a great threat to this base and the Allies since the Blood Brothers are so aware of her existence? I know that she got captured by some Blood Brothers a short time ago and I believe that will happen again if you guys don’t do something about her.”

Tsukishima’s eyes widened, _aware of her existence?_ What was Tendou talking about? “W-what are you p-plotting? Y-you make no sense.” Damn his throat hurt. It was hard to breathe.

Tendoo blinked a couple of times before laughing. “Wait, you don’t know?! Phaha, we’re talking about unlimited information!!” Takinoue glanced at Tendoo and was about to whistle to end their match. Tendou immediately let Tsukishima go and took his fighting stance, there was no way he would let the four-eyes go this easily. Not just yet.

Tsukishima rubbed his throat, _he’s playing around with me._ What had he meant with ‘unlimited information’? Simultaneously he started to understand Tendoo’s motives: he wanted to get rid of you but he couldn’t do it without support from somebody who was working close to you in this base. _He had asked Kenma and got refused._

Takinoue raised an eyebrow, confused, and soon turned his attention elsewhere. The game was allowed to continue. Tendoo seemed to ease immediately as a cunning smile appeared on his lips.

“Well… I think you should find that small fact by yourself, I don’t really want to ruin your fun, but what do you think?” Tendou’s dark red eyes gleamed like drops of fresh blood. “If you think that there is even a slight possibility that (Surname) is a threat to anybody you gotta tell me. I’m the only one who can help you to protect this base and the Allies from the inside. What do you say?”

The pressure was heavy, it made Tsukishima feel fragile. But he had been right about the Eagle’s motives which forced a smirk appear on his face. He felt quite pleased.

Tendou smirked back at him, _looks like you might need to move again, (Surname)._

“I’m quite honored…” Tsukishima’s smirk turned condescending as he continued. “…but I don’t have empathy towards pathetic people like you.” Though Tsukishima had little sympathy towards you he wouldn’t stab you in the back. It would be totally ruthful and against the ideologies he had learned to value. Tsukishima’s face darkened as his smile vanished. “That might be able to convince some weak Rookies, but it won’t have an effect on me. You better stop endeavoring before you seriously lose your face.”

Tendou’s eyes flared. “You little fucker..!!”

There was no other warning for Tsukishima as Tendou attacked him again. This time there was no mercy.

 

 

* * *

 

 

You had just managed to bind Yaku on the ground when you heard scream that send chills down your spine. You immediately jumped up and scanned the area. The voice had been familiar. Too familiar. _Tsukishima?_ Yaku climbed up and watched your alerted face, uneasy. Many soldiers had halted their combats too, and some of them pointed into same direction. You immediately ran there. Tsukishima was sitting on the ground while holding his right hand close to his body, pale from pain and covered in cold sweat. Tendoo was standing in front of him, looking down at Tsukishima while an ill smiled painted his face.

It was no good. You hated that smile, _he has hurt him on purpose._

“Tsukki!!” Yamaguchi shouted as he dashed to his friend’s side. You whistled for Mashur and the canine weaved his way to you past soldiers. Yamaguchi turned to you in a panic, he was turning pale too. “H-h-his hand. Tsukki’s... hand..!!”

You nodded.

“Show me, Tsukishima.”

The blonde glanced at you before exposing his hand while gritting his teeth. The pain was numbing but extremely painful, pulsating. You stared the hand and felt a lump climb up to your throat: Tsukishima’s right hands middle finger and ring finger were dislocated. They hardly looked fingers anymore. The lowest joint of the middle finger was pointing left while the tip of the finger was pointing down, the ring finger was dislocated only from the lowest joint. Definitely not a pretty sight. His hand trembled furiously and pain was visible in his eyes.

You gave Tsukishima a cold package from Mashur’s first aid kit. “It looks bad but the situation isn’t grave… but we need to restore them to their right places as soon as possible.”

“Well shit, who would have guessed?” Tsukishima snarled through his teeth but you decided to ignore his comment. He pressed the cold package against his hands and gritted his teeth again.

People started to gather around you.

“What is happening he- - holy shit! What happened?!” Takinoue checked Tsukishima as you were preparing a syringe for a local anesthesia. You glanced at Tendou who was still enjoying the scene. Anger flared in you, _he knew what he was doing._ Takinoue followed your glance and gave Tendou a questionable look.

The red-haired man shrugged his shoulders. “My hand slipped.”

Tsukishima’s face darkened but he didn’t say anything. Only then you realized how similar you were. Both of you hated overexcited people and rather forget the happening than made a huge fuss about it. You knew that Tsukishima wouldn’t make a deal from this and somehow it upset you.

You turned to Takinoue. “I can handle this. Please continue the practice so _these snoops_ would give us some _space_.” You glared at the men around you which caused them to take a step back.

Takinoue blinked a couple of times.

“S-sure.” He got up and clapped his hands. “Okay!! People let’s continue! Hop hop!!” The soldiers scrammed and soon the battles continued. Ushijima had finished his battles long time ago and came to check the situation. He stared at Tsukishima’s hand blankly.

“Is your hand okay?”

You, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima stared at the man dumbfounded. Hadn’t he noticed that there was two dislocated fingers?

“Definitely.” “Y-Yes, sir.” “Well of course.”

Ushijima got confused, why did you sound so sarcastic? But since the three of you were already ignoring him he went to chat with Tendou. He needed an explanation. How could he slip like that? He rarely made slips like those.

Meanwhile, you anesthetized Tsukishima’s hand, which the man didn’t really enjoy. You needed to needle him from several places and the swelling made his skin sensitive. Still he bit through the pain and soon his hand started to really turn numb.

“That should be enough. Yamaguchi, hold the cold package for a moment.” The young man did as was told and soon you took a gentle hold of Tsukishima’s chill hand. Though you didn’t move his fingers at all the man squirmed uncomfortably. You took a deep breath as you observed the fingers. “Listen Tsukishima, next I’ll pull your ring finger outwards and back to its place. Though you have local anesthesia you will surely feel it but try to stay still, okay?”

Tsukishima clicked his teeth, nervously. “Sure.”

You took a firm hold from his finger and hand and prepared yourself. “Are you ready?” you asked while keeping your eyes on the finger. You thought which way you will pull and what its trajectory had been. How it had ended there and how it would return its way back. How much power you needed. How to fix this quickly.

“Go on already,” Tsukishima hissed as he braced himself mentally. You nodded and gripped his finger tighter. With a quick movement you pulled the finger and guided it back to its original place. Tsukishima flinched from the nasty feeling but never moved. He made no sound either though he inhaled air sharply. When the finger seemed normal apart from the dwelling, you nodded.

“Good, the next one will be the same way but I’ll straighten your middle finger in one go before placing it back. Ready?”

Tsukishima stared at his misshapen finger for a moment before gulping and looking away. “Go ahead.”

As you took hold of his middle finger you could hear Tsukishima inhale sharply. You didn’t waste time and pulled, there was unpleasant snapping sound as the joints locked back to their places. Pain shot through Tsukishima’s hand, but he gritted his teeth and held his breath, so he wouldn’t scream again. It had been sad when he had screamed in the first place. Right after you finished you snatched the cold package from Yamaguchi’s hand and pressed it against Tsukishima’s fingers.

You took a deep breath. “We need to take an x-ray to make sure that everything’s fixed. I’ll escort you to the clinic but for now press it firmly for a moment.”

“Whooa, that looked painful! Are you okay, four-eyes? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you scream like that!” Tendou seemed so amused from the situation. Was he really proud of what he had done? Proud of hurting a fellow soldier?

Tsukishima gritted his teeth, ashamed. Yamaguchi watched his friend helplessly and glared at the Eagle. But he couldn’t face him for long. He could only support his friend mutely.

It didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel _good_.

“Tendou, you shouldn’t say things like that,” Ushijima stated though he sounded like he didn’t really care. Did he ever care? Despise ran through your body and made something turn inside you. Anger. Pure anger. Flames. _On whose side am I_?

You stood up and told Mashur to wait.

Something was different in you, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi felt it. Why did you look so… cold? You stood between the Rookies and the Eagles, and when you lifted your gaze all of them could feel pressure. Your face was dark but your eyes were sharp.

“You just had to cross the line once again, Tendou.”

For the first time ever, you made Tendou feel chills go down his spine. He smirked a bit uneasily. Who were you? What had happened to that girl who just bit her lip and let things go?

“I don’t know what you are talking about, (Surname). I told so everyone heard that my hand just slipped.”

“Fuck that, you very well knew that Tsukishima is part of the communication team and works with computers. You knew how important his fingers are to him,” you hissed malevolently. Mashur’s growling rumbled in the background as you started to walk towards the Eagle. “You are an elite soldier of Eagle Garden, there is no way your hand would just slip while facing and opponent obviously weaker than you. You think you can do anything freely because you are in a high position but that’s not the case. _Not here_.”

Tendou chuckled, he couldn’t take you seriously. You just suddenly decided to take sides, huh?

“Pff… it seems like you’ve totally gotten attached to this place.”

“I have indeed.”

“How nice.” Tendou squinted his eyes. It was thrilling to see you like that. Totally unpredictable.

Ushijima stepped between you. “Tendou, stop threatening her. (Surname), please calm down, this matter can be talked over.” He had never seen you so angry before. Of course you had had days in Eagle Garden when nothing went right and you had just glared at everyone but this was totally different. You were seriously angry. Your eyes blazed.

You were almost at Ushijima when you could hear Sugawara and Daichi’s shouting coming behind you. Mashur’s growling had finally caught their attention and they weren’t believing what was happening. Were you seriously going to fight them now?

Ushijima’s felt that he needed to stop you so he walked towards you. You didn’t care, and you went on despite the fact that the captain was coming at you. Why weren’t you backing away? Weren’t you listening?

“(Surname) - -“

Tendou spoke over Ushijima. “Aww, c’mon Ushi! Let her come here! I would like to see what happens… though I can already guess it.”

Then he felt chills.

Ushijima was about to put his hand on your shoulder but his hand grabbed empty air. Everything slowed down, stopped, and all he had managed to see was two (e/c) colored fireflies fly past him. He couldn’t react. His body didn’t move though his brains understood what was happening. Suddenly you were behind him and in front of Tendou who still had his mocking smile on his face. He hadn’t realized. Not yet. But he was about to.

Your (e/c) eyes blazed and Tendou’s smile died. It was too late for him. You gripped his right arm and planted a sharp kick on his stomach which caused him to bend forward. Before Tendou could recover from the sudden strike you slipped behind him and forced him to crash on his stomach while you still held his arm strictly.

Twist and pull.

A scream.

Tendou screamed as his arm was about to get dislocated from the shoulder. He could hear his joints rumbling through his body as pain shot through his arm and chest, numbing him. Gravel rubbed against his face, and he could taste soil in his mouth. You towered over him and held his arm with one hand. That was all that you needed. One hand.

“What the fuck are you BIT - - **GRRHAARAAAAAAAH**!!!!” You twisted his arm little more to shut him up. No mercy. No sympathy.

It was even.

“Apologize.”

Tendou felt the pressure of your stare in his neck. You weren’t kidding. Was this revenge for all he had ever done to you? Was he losing an arm because he had bullied you? But somehow, he knew it wasn’t the case. It was for that four-eyes. (Surname) (Name) was actually ripping his hand of because of somebody else.

When the answer didn’t come as quickly as you wanted you gripped his hand harder. Panic.

“I’m sorry!!” Tendou shouted in pain. “I’m really sorry!! I should have never done it!”

“Stop it, (Name)!!” Daichi and Sugawara ran to you but didn’t dare to come any closer. It seemed like it needed just a small movement to rip Tendou’s arm off and they surely didn’t want to be the ones who pushes you over the edge. Ushijima had totally frozen and wasn’t much to help. He stared at you his eyes wide open. Who were you?

You glanced at Tsukishima who was still ogling at you, shocked. Had you seriously just attacked the Eagle just for an apology? How had you even got past Ushijima?

You tilted your head as you stared at Tsukishima. “Do you accept it?”

Were you serious?! Tsukishima had hundred questions in his mind and that question had totally caught him off guard. Tendou was still whimpering apologizes as he laid in the ground his face against the gravel. Your expression was blank, cold. Haunted. Tsukishima nodded, “Y-yeah I do. No h-harm done.”

After a long second, you nodded a bit oddly and let go his Tendou’s arm. Tendou immediately hugged his arm while lying on the gravel and you just walked off. Daichi and Sugawara didn’t even know where to start. They needed to scold you for attacking the Eagle without solid reason but damn they were feeling proud of you. All Yamaguchi had managed to whimper had been “ _He mocked Tsukki and she went nuts!”_ You had gone nuts for someone like Tsukishima? Was that even possible?

Ushijima stared at you his eyes wide open like you were some magical beast: warily but with respect.

Takinoue had finally entered to the scene and was wondering what all the screaming and fuss was about now. “What the hell happened here?!”

Everyone were staring at you but you seemed to act normal though there was some really unsettling gleam in your eyes.

“Oh sorry… my hand just slipped.”

Takinoue gulped. He could see the big picture of this situation but how could he blame you after that?

“I see… your training is over now, do you copy?”

“Copy that.”

Tendou could feel an arrow pierce his body, _th-that bitch..!!_ The Elites had no idea what was happening but they surely did want to hear why you could just walk away from this situation. You walked to Tsukishima and Yamaguchi who were still comprehend with what had happened. You sighed eyes closed before looking down at them. You needed to collect your thoughts.

“So… yup! Let’s go to the clinic to take the x-rays and bandage your fingers. I can ask Dr. Takeda to write you receipt for painkillers if you want to. I think your fingers need to be splinted.”

Your eyes were normal again: clean, (e/c) colored and slightly lively.

Tsukishima gulped, had you seriously just attacked an Eagle for him? An eye for an eye. Tsukishima had gotten a beating from Tendou because he had defended you and you had given a beating to Tendou for mocking him. Ushijima had finally snapped out from his trance and was helping Tendou up. The red haired man didn’t look so satisfied. He looked furious and seemed to be in pain.

Tsukishima’s lips turned into a smirk.

“Sounds good.”

Yamaguchi helped Tsukishima to his feet and soon the three of you were heading towards the clinic. You threw the cold package to Takinoue. “ _Minor sprains_ are tended with cold,” you shouted so everyone would hear you before you pointed at Tendou with your thumb. “It’s for him.”

Soon many soldiers started snorting, including Semi and Goshiki, since everybody had surely hear Tendou’s scream. Well whole base must have heard it. Tendou felt his blood pressure rise as Takinoue brought him the cold package.

Ushijima observed Tendou’s arm. “If it was just a minor sprain why did you scream like that?”

Daichi and Sugawara had hard time to not snort. Everyone could hear Semi’s head on laughing in distance. Tendoo felt embarrassed and angry.

“That bitch almost ripped by arm off, OKAY?!!”

Laugh filled the air.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Mmm… x-rays are fine and the cast has been placed, I don’t think there is anything else I can do for you,” you stated as you observed the x-rays one last time. “Dr. Takeda will decide when the cast will be taken off and you can start to exercise your hand. The more industriously you practice it the faster it heals, so keep that in mind. If you meet any problems or have anything to ask come to me or Takeda, okay?”

You placed the x-ray into a file that you will represent to Dr. Takeda when he arrives from his trip.

Tsukishima observed the cast blankly: the middle finger and the ring finger had been tied to his pinky tightly. He wouldn’t be able to use computer’s keyboard as efficiently but at least the bandage didn’t bother him while using the mouse.

“Sure.”

“Good! If you don’t have any questions you are free to go.”

Tsukishima started to pull his hoodie on but the bandage got caught in the sleeve. His face twitched form pain though he tried to bite it away. You immediately helped him by stretching the end of the sleeve so the man could push his hand through more freely. He seemed to feel a bit ashamed.

“Thanks…”

“No problem.”

Tsukishima shook his head. “I mean… thank you. I don’t know why you went that far but I guess I appreciated it.” Tsukishima couldn’t meet your eyes.

You smirked little, _‘I guess I appreciated it’, seriously, what kind of thank you was that._ But you let it slip. The fact that he even thanked you was quite a trophy for you.

“You’re welcome, but I don’t know why I did that either… _I guess._ ” Tsukishima glared at you, but you just smirked cunningly back at him. ‘ _Are you getting flustered, mister Tsukishima?’_ your eyes seemed to say.

“You know, you are quite the pain in the ass.”

“It’s great to know that the feeling is mutual, sir.” Tsukishima had to smirk. You just had to always bite back, didn’t you? You opened the door for him, Yamaguchi waited in the hallway for his friend, before starting to clean up in the clinic. “Rest for the evening. Oh! And call me if you need to be rescued from the Eagles again.”

“Tch, it’s you who needs rescuing,” Tsukishima frowned as he moved to the door.

“You’re probably right… but hey, I’ve seen worse out there, so you shouldn’t be worried about me!”

Tsukishima stopped and turned to see you. It seemed like you had made that comment without realizing or you didn’t put weight on the matter. Tendou had woken his will to know more about you, to find you. _Why were thr Blood Brothers aware of her existence?_ There were again more questions than answers. How did they find her? How did they know her? _Should I ask about it?_ But the moment Tsukishima thought about it he regretted it – he needed to find that out himself.

“ _Well… I think you should find that small fact by yourself, I really don’t want to ruin your fun…_ ”

He had to find it, he thought, as Tendou’s words echoed in his ears.

_“Phaha, we are talking about unlimited information!!”_

Tsukishima knew the information was out there on his reach. Close. Unlimited.

Tsukishima gulped. “See you later then.” _I’ll find you._

You turned to meet Tsukishima’s golden brown eyes. They gleamed. His gaze made you feel somehow open, _he figured out something out._ “Yeah, see you.”

Tsukishima nodded and left, leaving you feeling somehow terrified and exposed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you again so so SO much for the sweet comments! Seriously, some of them made me _cry_ , and we are talking about making a Finnish woman cry, so well done! Your warm encouragements melt my Nordic heart, haha! <3 
> 
> Once again I'll apologize for being this late with the new chapter, but I'm afraid the next chapter will take even longer. I need to take time for studying since I'm applying to a university this spring and I reaaallly need to read for the entrance examination. I have dreamed about that university for so long! PLUS! I'm actually still in the middle of my current studies in the university of applied sciences... which means I have to study quite hard only to survive this semester all the way. If I don't get in my dream university, I just continue here, and therefore I must study hard so I won't fall behind. Oh, and I work at the same time... Ha...ha.... Freetime? What's that? Never heard of it!
> 
> So, I'll hardly have time for _any_ of my hobbies, but I'll try to find some time for the series! I promise! 
> 
> Thank you for understanding T 3 T


	14. Fight the fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having a rough day?   
> Well, read ahead and thing again! 
> 
> (I'm glad to be back!)

You stared at the ceiling from your bed as chills stormed inside you. The reality had finally slapped you in the face. No, slapping sounded too gentle; more like the realization had slammed you onto the floor and kicked you to stomach multiple times before poking your eyes in. You felt quite battered. The best part was that you could only thank yourself for all of this.

You sighed and pressed your palms against your forehead.

_That outburst was totally unneeded, fuck dammit!_

Even though you _had sworn_ to yourself that you wouldn’t let that idiot intimidate you. Even though you _had decided_ to keep it in ‘till the end. Yet what had you done? You had went full ahead and nearly pulled off Tendou’s arm from its socket. That should have never happened - you had known that exactly when you had awakened from your trance to Tendou’s pained screaming, but how could you have backed away in that situation? Just _‘oops’_ wouldn’t have been enough. Neither could you have dislocated his arm. What was left for you to do was to play your part till the end and try not to stumble. You had created a whole new set of obstacles for you with that, and now you had to walk through it.

You stared at the ceiling quite a while. Wherever you looked you saw Tendou’s blood red eyes stare furiously back at you. He had been in the canteen when you had come to eat with the Elites. He had been like a taunting chain that screeched as it was about to break. It was hard to fall asleep as these thoughts ran through your head. Even while lying alone in our room, you could feel everyone’s eyes on you; they had seen a new side of you, and they yearned for more.

Yet between your thoughts you found peace, little by little your eyelids started to feel heavier and your mind started to wander elsewhere. Out of that suffocating room and to the fresh air.

_You ran in the forest, Mashur galloping beside you. Crows cried somewhere nearby, but they weren’t joyous. They stayed in their group and fled through the forest._

_Something felt off. Unsettling._

_Then a shadow swallowed the forest._

_Coldness. The crows scattered and burned holes into the sky. The blue sky was torn apart. It was night. Dark. What was happening? Mashur yelped in terror as the ground swallowed him whole. No trace. No more steps. No. Shadows smiled at you ominously. No no no. You could hear a scream. Too familiar. It was hard to breathe._

_Barking._

_Mashur? You tried to pick up speed, but the ground become softer under your feet. It bound your legs. You fell. It was going to swallow you. No. Howling. You couldn’t move. A man stood in front of you a pitying smile on his face. His eyes were as red as fresh blood. You froze. You couldn’t move. He whispered your name. No. (Name). He came closer. Why your body didn’t move?! No._

_No!!_

Your eyes shot open. Someone was right at you, _on you_ , but you couldn’t move. He was holding your arms, pressing them down. Panic. You wriggled but it didn’t help, he held you still. He was too strong. Your rapid heartbeat was pounding in your ears.

“(Name), wake up!!”

Only then you recognized the voice and halted with your struggling.

“I-Iwai..?”

The room was dark, but you could see Iwaizumi’s green eyes shine, alertness. You were still in your bed, the blanket was tangled around your legs. You could hardly move them, and with Iwaizumi’s weight on top of you, you barely felt them either.

“What… why are - - ?”

Steps.

Your eyes shot to the door, alerted, but it was just Sugawara who rushed in your room. He clicked the light on, blinding you. The brightness stung your eyes. What was happening? Mashur was whining somewhere near. You couldn’t see. It felt unsettling that you still couldn’t move. Why were you held still?

“What… why you two..?” you rasped quietly while trying to pull your hands free again, but Iwaizumi didn’t relent at all. Iwaizumi glanced at Sugawara uneasily, and it seemed to be enough to tell Sugawara what was going on. He gulped and came to you and Iwaizumi. Both of them seemed terrified.

“(Name)?” Sugawara asked, carefully. “Are you fully awake?”

You blinked your stinging eyes and tried to move which made Iwaizumi grip your arms even slightly tighter.

“Y-Yeah,” you nodded a bit unsurely. Were you? Hadn’t you locked the door? How they got in? Why were they here? They obviously weren’t buying your answer, you saw insecurity in their eyes. What has happened?

“Please tell us where you are.”

You stared at Sugawara and Iwaizumi, confused, “I-In my room in Crow’s Nest…” You blinked and looked around before facing them again. “W-We have a training camp with the soldiers of Eagle Garden here. For a weekend. R-Right?”

The men glanced at each other and only then did Iwaizumi allow himself to take a deep breath. Carefully, he let go of your arms before he moved little further away from you while Sugawara crouched down next to your bed, relieved. Mashur came to check on you, he whined and licked your sweaty hands, while you rubbed your wrists. You couldn’t understand the current situation at all.

“What’s going on?” you asked Sugawara. He took a deep breath but shook his head. He placed his warm hand on yours before nodding at Iwaizumi.

The black-haired Elite wiped his pale face and took another deep breath as if to calm down. Only then you noticed that his hands trembled slightly.

“Iwaizumi?”

The Elite observed your confused state a while quietly. “You… had nightmares again.”

You froze. _Nightmares?_ Out of the blue they came back to you. Running, crows, shadows… the red eyed man. Tendou. You had already forgotten all of that. The way you had woken had been far scarier than the dream itself. Before you could ask Iwaizumi continued,

“I woke up to Mashur’s barking. At first I thought that you had let him go outside and he wanted to come back inside but when he didn’t stop I decided to go and check on him. When I realized that Mashur howled here in your room I knew something was off. I used the spare key to come in and…”

Iwaizumi’s expression twitched. Something turned inside you. Iwaizumi took a deep breath and swiped his face again. He didn’t meet your eyes. Sugawara watched two of you, anxious.

“Iwaizumi?” you asked carefully after gulping.

Iwaizumi shook his head to the memory. “Mashur was on your bed, literally barking at your face and you didn’t respond. You were completely still. For a moment I thought… you... that maybe… I w-wouldn’t be able to wake you up.”

Something stopped inside of you. Mashur poked you with his moist nose and whined. Only then you realized to breath again. _He thought that I…_? Cold sweat made your back feel damp and cold. Slightly reluctantly you turned your focus from Iwaizumi to the dog. Brown sparkly eyes stared up at you restlessly. He had tried to wake you up.   _I heard him barking in my sleep._ You bit your lip.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered as you pressed your forehead against Mashur’s snout. “It seems I stir up troubles for you even in my sleep now too, eh?”

Iwaizumi and Sugawara turned at you, startled.

“What? No!” Iwaizumi half-shouted.

“(N-Name), you aren’t causing anybody troubles in here!”

“Then what are you doing in my room in the middle of the night?” You raised your head and stared at the men, eyes full of self-hatred. The men stared at you, dumbfounded, before turning their gazes away. How could they answer to that? You sighed, “I know you didn’t mean any harm. I’m the mess here. It’s just… it was me who fucked up so you shouldn’t be the ones suffering from… the consequences.”

“You mean the incident with Tendou,” Sugawara wondered, and you nodded. “So it was that which created those nightmares, huh…”

You nodded again and pressed your head down.

“Suffering alone isn’t an answer, idiot.” Iwaizumi’s eyes were stern. You gulped before grimacing faintly. “I have seriously started to wonder if you even know what support is.”

“Of course I know.”

Iwaizumi raised an eye brown slightly, “Well then, tell me where you find it.”

You rolled your eyes exhausted, _he wants to hear it so badly._

“…I look for you guys obviously.”

There was a short silence before Iwaizumi nodded, “Right.” A faint smile visited his face before he got up from your bed. “Sugawara, I think we should go back to sleep.”

Sugawara blinked a couple of times, “A-Ah, right!” Iwaizumi nodded at him and moved towards the door but the vice-captain turned to you again. “Is everything really fine now?”

“Yeah, go to sleep already,” you sighed while pulling the blanket onto your lap. Your legs felt heavy. Mashur went back to his bed and laid down before yawning. Sugawara smiled relieved though his knitting eye browns told you that he was still worried.

At the door Iwaizumi turned to you again. “Do I lock the door?”

“Please.” You felt little ashamed but Iwaizumi didn’t seem to mind. He just nodded and put his hand on the light switch. Sugawara gave you a gentle smile before stepping out of the room.

“Try to rest.” Iwaizumi sounded gentle though there was a hint of sadness in his tone.

“You too…” You felt like you were some child who the parents tried to calm down before the first day of the school. It made you feel even more ashamed. Iwaizumi and Sugawara just nodded at you before the black-haired man shut the lights and shut the door.

The door clicked as it locked.

But it didn’t make you feel secure anymore.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The final matches started after the lecture about the two bases cooperation on the warzone. Only those, who had done well in the day after matches, were competing today, which sadly included you too. Though you hadn’t been able to complete your matches till the end because of the incident with Tsukishima, the fact you had demolished Tendou had given you some points. You hadn’t asked for it. It wasn’t right. You had complained about it but there was nothing to do for you. People wanted to see you compete more.

As you waited for your name to be called out, Kuroo and Bokuto came to you.

“You look like you’re about to throw up!”

“Oi oi, try to calm down little, okay?”

You glanced at the men, unimpressed, before continuing your observation of the current match between Hinata and some soldier of the Eagle Gardens.

“It’s not easy to calm down when somebody in the crowd wants to kill me.”

You glimpsed Tendou’s red hair move through the crowd. Like the fin of the hunting shark. Ready to spill blood. Kuroo and Bokuto glanced each other a bit troubled, before Kuroo caught you under his arm and squeezed.

“I believe the odds are on your side and you don’t need to face that man in the ring.”

“Oh yeah?” you said as you freed yourself by pushing his arm away. You had been held still just enough, thank you. “How can you be so sure?”

“Hm… Well you gave him _a minor injury_ during the previous fights, and the trainers wouldn’t ever allow to anyone to have revenge during these matches.”

“Yeah, and you beat up him already! It would be humiliating to let you beat him again!” Bokuto boasted.

You took a deep breath as you tried to conceal your frustration. These men didn’t understand the situation. You pressed your forehead with your fingertips, trying to find as simple clarification as possible about the current situation for these morons. “Okay, listen guys! Firstly, I did _not_ beat him up. It was - - “

“Yes yes, you didn’t beat him up. You beat him _down_ ,” Kuroo laughed and patted your back in excitement. “Get it? Not up, because you made him basically kiss the ground.”

Bokuto started head on laughing and gave Kuroo a fist bump.

You stared at the men, flabbergasted.

“I told you to listen! I was saying that it was _him_ who made _me_ lose my composure and that was my loss. Secondly, oh believe me, Tendou will seek a way to get his revenge with other methods. He has probably already found it because he hasn’t approached me since yesterday! That man enjoys seeing me suffer!”

Bokuto blinked, “Well get ready for anything that could be coming for you!”

“Do you think - -”, you shouted but when some soldiers turned to look at you, you lowered your voice into angry hissing, “- - that I haven’t fucking thought about everything already?! Right now, the best scenarios would be that he tries to beat me up before the closing ceremony or he puts poison in my food.”

“Wait, those are the best scenarios?!”

“Yeah… but I’m almost sure that he has found a way to recommend who I should fight against first. And if he has, the absolutely worst possible opponent would without a question be - -“

**“(Lastname) (Surname) and Ushijima Wakatoshi, please get prepared for the coming match!** ” Takinoue’s voice pierced the air.

“ - - _him_! Just..! Fuck damn it!!” you whispered loudly before starting to bite your fist. _Of course it would be him!_ You could _feel_ Tendou smiling somewhere. He was enjoying this. He got his revenge and you couldn’t do anything about it.

Bokuto and Kuroo helplessly watched your struggling. Though you weren’t visibly panicking (except that you were biting your fist off) they knew how bad you felt, your eyes told that you wanted to flee. Run. The thought was storming inside your head, your felt incredibly irritated but also so freaking tired.

Panic.

After taking a deep breath you finally accepted the fact that the only way you could help yourself was to get to that ring and… well outlive whatever was going to happen in that ring. Ushijima’s tall figure was already standing at the fighting ring, he was looking for you.

It had to be done. You had to go for it.

Your eyes had dimmed again as you killed the emotions inside you. Like you always had. You silenced everything in your head, gave up on your instincts. They were only in your way. This was only way for you to run away this situation. You were not going to put your heart on this game. This situation was created for you by you.

_This is your punishment, stupid girl._

Kuroo and Bokuto followed you to ring. They could feel the change in you – the pressure you always led up had vanished. It felt like you were going on autopilot, facing whatever was ahead you without care. Daichi was already at the ring with Takinoue. Both turned to see you and soon their expressions changed.

A shade darker.

“(S-Surname)?” Takinoue stammered, he hadn’t seen you this cold before. Kuroo and Bokuto seemed troubled behind you.

“In attendance.”

There was no color in your voice. You weren’t even paying attention to the trainer anymore. Ushijima had noticed you, and now you had locked your eyes in him. It felt like you would have gotten an extra weight on your shoulders. His gaze felt heavy. Crushing. You wanted to ask Takinoue how much bribing it had needed to arrange this match, but you felt too tired to care anymore. You could feel Daichi’s observing stare on you.

“Okay t-then… once you are ready please step in the ring so we can start.”

_Like I would ever be ready for this_ , you thought as you were about step in. Why to run anymore? You felt nothing.

“Do your best, (Name).”

You halted as Daichi’s words reached you. He knew exactly what was about to happen and he still dared to say that. How dared he to say that? You didn’t turn to see him. A memory of his previous words whispered in your head, about hopes to see your talents bloom, but you denied them.

“…you wish too much,” you whispered as you stepped in the ring as you tried to bite down the storm of emotions in you. But it had already damaged you. _“Just whose side are you on?!”_ Daichi had sounded so frustrated.

Ushijima never took his eyes from you. He didn’t know why, but he always had had troubles not looking at you. Ever since he had first time met you, he had been aware that you were different from the others. He could feel it, he had always been aware of it. Something major. Ushijima just had never understood you enough to see it.

And yesterday he had gotten a glimpse of it. There had been fireflies.

“You left a great impact on me yesterday, (Surname),” Ushijima said as you took your place in front of him. You squinted your eyes while your upper lip twitched once. Ushijima blinked, confused, you didn’t feel the same as yesterday. Your eyes were different now. Empty. “I have never seen you like that before. It would be an honor to see that part of you today too.”

You took your stance and shook your head. “That won’t happen.”

Ushijima frowned as he took his stance. It made him immediately look much stouter.

_I’m not a match for him._

“What do you mean?” His eyes were hard on you. Judging.

“I mean that nothing is going to change,” you smiled in your thoughts. Ushijima’s appearance turned darker as his eyes turned sharper.

_I will never be a match for him._

Takinoue whistled, signaling that the combat could start. You could feel your heart pounding madly in your chest. Ushijima was coming at you. You blocked his two first attempts to catch you, before slipping away from his reach. His olive-green eyes gleamed. He was serious. It had always annoyed you in this man, Ushijima Wakatoshi was always serious. He never goofed around. Everything he did was always done without giving mercy. With full talent, great power and as perfectly as programmed soldier did.

Expect for you.

He always came for you carefully; not for an instant kill but a gentle approach. Only after testing how much you could take in, he would start to put on some power. Just for you. To see how you would react. To force you to do the same.

And every time he did it, it made you feel weak. Idiot. He would always go forward step by step and at some point, you couldn’t follow anymore. After he would get bored, he would just step over you. You knew his technique, you knew his goals. Trying to overpower him wasn’t a feeling worth of trying.

Ushijima dashed closer to you, but you knew he could do better. Faster. More sharply. You knew how this man fought. _I don’t want that._ Instead of running, you decided to attack. That way he probably would catch you and end this game sooner. _I don’t want to be here._ You went for a kick but Ushijima blocked it just like you had expected. Before you could recover, Ushijima took a step at you and caught your arm. Soon he pulled you closer and captured your other hand too. There wouldn’t be anything you could do. You wouldn’t be able to squirm free even if you tried, you knew.

So you didn’t even try.

The crowd murmured around you. The game seemed to be close to end, and some how they felt disappointed. It wouldn’t be a surprise for Ushijima to win against some girl, but they had wanted more from this match. They were waiting for more from you, but currently your fighting was huge let-down. The Elites observed the fight uneasily, it was clear that you were doing nothing to succeed.

But instead pushing you to ground, Ushijima stared at you his eyes sharp. You couldn’t maintain eye contact with him. This seemed to irritate him a lot.

“Do something.”

Your eyes widened, did Ushijima just sound frustrated? When you turned your eyes on the captain of Eagle Garden, you saw that the man was serious. Ushijima’s eyebrows knitted together in manner you had never seen. _Is he pleading?_ You couldn’t believe it. But it terrified you all the same. His eyes reminded you of someone and you didn’t like the feeling it gave you.

_I want to get away from him._

You tried to move but the man locked you still. Panic was building in you again. _I need to go. Right now._ You wanted to call Mashur and let him rip this man off you.

“Show me what you got!” Ushijima’s voice roared. His grip tightened. “I know you can do better than this! Show it to me! Show _us_ that you can be better!”

You stared dead on at him. Frustration was building in you making you angry. He was still thinking that demanding from you would solve everything. You hadn’t listened to him even when he had been your captain. Like you would need to follow him now. Like he could demand you. He wasn’t your captain anymore.

A weak, scornful smile appeared on your lips, “I don’t need to prove anything to _you._ ”

Ushijima’s eyes widened for a moment before turning darker. You could feel his grip get tighter around your arms even more. Like fangs of the predator. The air around you turned cold. _Here we go,_ you thought as a weird relief washed over you. Relief and dread. It would hurt.

It hurt.

Without warning, Ushijima swept your legs under you and twisted your arm. Both of you crashed down to the ground and you could feel gravel tear the skin on your cheek bone raw. Ushijima twisted your arm behind your back without mercy, pain shot through your body. He put his weight on you which made it hard for you to breath. For a moment, you panicked that he would take revenge for Tendou but Ushijima stopped just before he could dislocate your arm. He just pinned you down and reminded you of the weight of his captaincy. He was superior, and you just a step stone.

Takinoue whistled for the game’s end.

“The point goes to Eagle Garden.” Some in the audience cheered up, the others just clapped their hands.

Ushijima got up lazily while you stayed on the ground, huffing. It was hard to breathe, but at least it was over. Some part in you was glad it was over but you still felt angry. Nothing had changed. It was frustrating that you needed to go through this, though the out-come would always be the same. As you were getting up, a shadow stopped at you. As you glanced up, Ushijima glared down at you. His eyes seemed cold. He looked so grim.

It felt like a déjà vu. You froze as shadows turned darker around you. _“This wouldn’t have needed to happen, sweet, if you would have just kept playing your role.”_ Why were you remembering this now? There was a lump in your throat and you just couldn’t swallow it down. Why did you remember _his_ voice?

“Thank you for the game.” There was no gratitude in his voice. Just disappointment.

You found yourself feeling even angrier. Furious. Your body trembled as it took over you. _I gave up._ It felt… cold. As it mixed with frustration that you had hidden so long time, the bowl finally was leaking over. Losing wasn’t new to you when it was about Ushijima, but that other man. You had won him. You had survived. Then why didn’t you feel alive? Why were you so fucking attached to your past? Why everything had to remind you of it?!

You felt disgusted at yourself. _Is this really what I am capable of?_

_I have done better._

You gritted your teeth together so your chin wouldn’t tremble as you got up. You tensed your body so you wouldn’t hurt someone when you walked through the audience. Your arms tickled. There was whispering and murmuring about the fight but you turned yourself deaf to them. If you listened, you would seriously hurt somebody.

But the worst was yet to come. The Elites were waiting for you behind the audience. All of them.

They knew that you hadn’t tried your best. You hadn’t fought for the victory. Not for them or for yourself. You had gone where the fence was lowest… you had let Ushijima play around with you freely. The self-hatred in you got only worse.

You felt filthy.

You didn’t raise your eyes when you walked to them, they would have sorry expressions for sure. Maybe angry. Frustrated. You didn’t want to see them. You could feel your heartbeat quicken. Why were you feeling so anxious? Why were you afraid of their reactions? Your fists were trembling, your nails were biting in your palms. Why did you care?

Daichi stepped forward, sand cracked under his shoes. Under his weight. You felt so vulnerable. Seriously, you were ready to get a slap to your face. Scolding. Shouting. You were ready to hear him mutter how disappointed he was to you. You were ready for anything. It hurt, but you were prepared. You could hear the captain move his arm. You flinched, _here it comes._ But Daichi just put his hand on your shoulder gently before squeezing it firmly. Not to hurt you but… to comfort you. Like captains does.

“Don’t punish yourself for that.” His voice was warm though there was a hint of tiredness. And relief. Daichi’s hand warmed your cold shoulder, your cold body. It made your breath waver. “Next time you’ll show them all. I’m sure of it. Just keep your chin up, okay?”

Your eyes widened, _next time?_

As the captain let go of your shoulder the cold hit you like a hit from a whip. Numbing you.

_Next time?_

“Okay, those who are free to go, let’s go to eat.” Daichi called and headed towards the canteen.

You finally found courage to rise your eyes from the gravel. Bokuto and Iwaizumi had still some fights ahead, so they didn’t go after the others. Oikawa and Kuroo gave them some unneeded pep talks before hurrying to the others. Daichi’s back was towards you and everyone was now moving towards the canteen too. He really wasn’t going to say anything else. That’s it? No lecturing? No charging, no pointing nor blaming?

Hadn’t he seen how you had _fucked up_? You hadn’t fought for the team, just let the opponent throw yourself to the ground without resistance and everyone knew and yet… still…

_It’s not right._

You gritted your teeth. _It’s not fair!!_

Sugawara turned to see you as you remained in the same position. You were pale and your body was visibly trembling. “(Name)…? Is everything okay? Are you hurt?”

Everyone turned towards you again. Concerned.

Why did they even care about your condition? You couldn’t just accept it. Your mind was a mess, everything was leaking over and you couldn’t control it anymore. It felt nasty. There was no way you could follow them and act cool.

So you left. To the opposite direction, without looking back. Without hearing them calling your name.

_Breathe,_ you told yourself. _Breathe, breathe, breathe…_

After locking yourself inside and Mashur outside your room, you sat on your bed in silence for a moment. You listened your breath, your heartbeat, distant sounds of soldiers shouting… the clock’s ticking… then finally it poured over. You screamed with your full voice, got up and threw your chair at the wall. It made a loud bang but you couldn’t hear it. White noise had filled your ears as your heartbeat and breath messed it up. Chaos. A mess. Like you and everything in you. How messed could one person be?

“ _You will be alone there.”_

It hurt.

“ _You fool!”_

It hurt so much. You hit your head against the wall, and screamed. To shut up that noise. To shake away the memories, which were once again subconsciously raising their ugly heads. To forget. It hurt so so much. You huffed as you pressed your forehead against the wall. You hit the wall as hard as you could. Again and again… until you felt numb again. Voices rang in your head.

_“Pff… seems like you’ve totally gotten attached to this place.”_

_“FOR THE TEAM!! I WOULD DO IT FOR THIS TEAM!!”_

_“Next time you’ll show them all. I’m sure of it - -”_ You hit the wall again. Desperately. _“Just keep your chin up, okay?”_

_Shut up._ Your body trembled as your outburst was coming to its end. You felt so cold. Weak. _Just… shut up already._ You had avoided that one feeling for so long. You had decided to never expect too much, to never let your actions haunt you afterward. To accept things as they happen, to accept the consequences whatever they were. But now that feeling had finally captured you after long race and it wasn’t going to let go of easily.

Regret.

You, (Surname) (Name), were finally regretting your choices.

_They had needed me and supported me,_ you thought weakly as you slid down to the floor. You bit your lip until you could taste blood, _and I didn’t even try…_

You felt pathetic. So freaking pathetic.

 

At some point you heard Mashur’s faint whimpering coming from the hall way. It took you a couple of seconds to remember that you had forced the canine out. Out of your storming’s way. You had for once let down your (h/l) (h/c) hair and let it be as messy as it wanted. As you opened your door the smell of coffee wafted in. _Somebody is in the lounge,_ you gulped. You couldn’t hear any talking though. Actually, you hadn’t even heard the clattering that the kitchen’s cabinet always made when somebody shut or opened the doors.

You just hoped that nobody had heard your earlier outburst. Mashur poked his muzzle in your room before you could even fully open the door. He immediately sniffed at you, making sure you were okay. Mashur seemed to be little anxious but you could only thank yourself from that.

“Sorry buddy…” you said quietly as Mashur sniffed your bruised hand. His tiny whiskers at his nose tickled your knuckles. “I made you worry again.”

From the open door, you could hear somebody turn a newspaper’s page. It was otherwise silent. The person was probably alone there, _it’s either Sugawara or Akaashi or Daichi._ They were the only ones from the Elites who read newspapers here.

It was almost the time for the last shooting practice which would settle this training camp. Only the best shooters from the both bases would be shooting there. Fortunately that didn’t include you but you still felt pressured to attend. To show at least some support… it felt stupid right away when you thought about it. How could your presence ever help them…?

Akaashi was reading the newspaper at the dining table when you finally stepped in the lounge. Mashur followed you right on your heels, glancing at you non-stop. Somehow you felt slightly relieved that it was Akaashi. He had promised to Oscarion to wait for you after all. Not that he knew that you knew; you had never told him you had heard their speech to avoid complicated feelings.

Akaashi sipped his coffee and nodded at the coffee machine, “Uh… I made too much coffee, so please have some.” He smiled lightly at you, before turning his gaze elsewhere almost shyly. Little did you know that it was because of your hair. It was somehow exciting to see your hair free.

“Aa-a… thank you,” you stuttered. _Coffee wouldn’t be bad for once…_ you had skipped your meal, so you yearned for energy. The earlier outburst had taken the rest of the remaining energy out of you. You noticed how exhausted you actually were when you reached out for a coffee cup; your arms felt heavy.

Only the silence between you was even heavier.

“Um…, “ you mumbled as you tried to shape the thought in your mind. Akaashi turned his focus on you immediately. “Aren’t you taking part in that shooting competition?” Somehow you felt super clumsy. It needed all your focus to pour coffee in to the cup without spilling it over.

“Oh, I will, but I need to calm down first.” Akaashi noticed that your hands were trembling. “Sugawara-san and Oikawa-san are guiding the Rookies, who also take part in the shooting practice, while the rest of the Elites are holding stretching exercise for the other Rookies.”

The information that others wouldn’t be dashing in the lounge anytime soon relaxed you, visibly. At least you didn’t tense your shoulders so much.

“I see,” you breathed out. You sat at the table and sipped your coffee. It had a strong taste but you liked it. _So Akaashi likes his coffee strong._ You let the taste linger on your mouth a moment before sipping again.

“Is it too strong?” Akaashi suddenly asked.

You blinked, _he observes me._ “I like it strong.”

He smiled warmly before turning his focus on the newspaper again, “That’s reassuring to hear.”

“I’m just wondering how coffee helps you to calm down.” Akaashi raised his forest-green eyes on you and looked at you slightly confusedly. “I mean, isn’t coffee supposed to wake you up and make you energetic? For me it works so at least.”

Akaashi smiled again before lifting the cup on his lips again. “Somehow it calms me down.” He sipped his coffee before continuing, “It makes my mind clearer and helps me to focus. It’s almost like I could see better too.”

You sneered little, “You are an odd one.”

“Haha, I guess so,” Akaashi laughed gently. There was a faint blush on his cheeks. You gulped, your heart started little by little to pound faster, and you were quite sure it wasn’t because of the coffee. Warmness was spreading on your face. You brushed your hair behind your ear, slightly embarrassed.

For a moment Akaashi’s eyes widened before his expression turned slightly worried and sad. “(Surname)-san, your cheek…”

“Huh?” You brushed your cheek and prickling sensation reminded you about the previous fight. You had already forgotten that you had gone cheekbone first to the ground. “Oh… right. Just don’t mind about it.”

Ushijima’s olive green eyes flashed in your mind. Regret reminded that you were still the feeling’s prisoner. It made the coffee taste sour in your mouth.

“Let me clean it and put a band aid on it. There seems to be still gravel in it…” Akaashi got up and went to the medical cabinet that was situated to the opposite wall of the kitchen.

“Tch… this is nothing,” you tried to convince the man, but he seemed not to listen. It annoyed you. Once again you were taken care of though you didn’t deserve it. More like… you felt like you could have needed another beating. “I would have deserved rougher beating than this,” you muttered quietly.

Akaashi got what he needed: disinfection liquid for the wounds, tissues, and a band-aid. But when he turned at you, there was a hurt expression on his face. Like he had been slapped.

“That’s not true,” he said in frustrated manner as he walked back to the table. He looked at you and shook his head with small gestures. “(Name), you wouldn’t have deserved any beating. Those injuries don’t and will never define your value.”

You furrowed, it was hard to believe that you were valued on some level. It was impossible to keep eye contact with Akaashi, his eyes gleamed so seriously. He sighed, and moved next to you and started to prepare tissues for the cleaning. He moved closer to you and made his intentions clear. When you didn’t object, or paid any attention on him, Akaashi proceeded. Gently he pressed the wet tissue against your cheek and wiped your bruise. The liquid made you flinch slightly.

“Sorry, did I press too hard?” Akaashi asked, troubled, and moved a little further from you.

“No… the liquid just smarts a little.”

Akaashi gulped and nodded before continuing to tend your bruise. After a couple of stokes he started to put a white band-aid on your cheekbone. Gently but precisely. “What do you want to be done to your hand?”

You glanced at your knuckles, which were full of small wounds and ruptures. Well… your skin had lost the fight against the concrete wall fair and square. Still, you felt no pain when you opened and closed your fingers.

“I don’t think it needs anything to be done,” you answered truthfully.

“Will you allow me to clean it at least?”

You were about to argue back but when you met Akaashi’s green eyes, you knew you couldn’t turn his kind gesture down. Plus, he had all the needed items on the table. Though his expression was quite blank, you saw from his eyes that he was worried. He probably knew that the condition of your knuckles was your own doings. You bit your lip a short time before lifting your hand on the table.

“Sure then… but I expect you to stop worrying after that,” you said while sulking slightly. You were no match for Akaashi. You couldn’t rebel against him.

Akaashi was quite surprised about your answer. He nodded as a gentle smile appeared on his lips.

“I better to stop worrying then,” he hummed as he prepared another tissue.

After cleaning and bandaging your hand, Akaashi finally had to hurry to the shooting range. He got up but stayed to look at you. You weren’t making any gestures to come with him. Before Akaashi could say anything, you spoke:

“Good luck. I’m expecting that you guys take those points back that I lost.” You tried to smile in encouraging manner, though it was quite hard to admit that the Elites had to right your failure. But you had faith in them. The snipers of Crow’s Nest were the most talented you had ever had chance to know. “It shouldn’t be impossible from you.”

Akaashi smiled and nodded, “Thank you, (Surname)-san. We will show them.”

Soon he left. After sitting in the silence a while, Mashur approached you and pressed his head on your lap. He kept his eyes on you, like pleading. The longer you sat still the worse you started to feel about yourself. _I knew this weekend would be horrible so I shouldn’t feel too bad about it._ But you couldn’t convince yourself.

You stomach growled, but you didn’t feel hungry at all. Still you decided to force yourself to go to the canteen and get something to eat. Even something. After that you could ask Takeda if he needed your help. You needed to act. To do something. During your struggles you needed to move forward. Never stop. Like you never had.

 

 

 - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * -

 

 

Dr. Takeda hadn’t been at the clinic when you had arrived there but it hadn’t stopped you from finding something to do. There were some forever-projects, like arranging patient records and medicines to different orders by some specific factors, going on so you decided to work on them. The work didn’t need too much thinking. Mashur slept at your legs as you worked on the computer. After finding a rhythm, you managed to work quite effectively. Your head felt quite empty. Peaceful tiredness had absorbed you, nothing was really bothering you. Still working on the computer made your shoulders feel stiff.

You checked the time when you flexed your sore muscles once again, there was still some time for the ending ceremony of the training camp. _I should stop for today._ As you were storing and shutting the files, Mashur perked his ears up. He lifted his head and stared at the door of Takeda’s office.

Just when you turned and lifted your eyes at the door, Daichi stopped at the door way. He was about to knock the door but when he saw you, he stopped.

“(Surname)? Isn’t Takeda here?” He looked around the room before turning his focus on you again. Mashur winged his tail carefully at him.

You shook your head, “No, he isn’t. Doctor is probably with the commander and the others. I heard at the canteen that they are having a meeting or something.” Daichi blinked a couple of times confused, before looking at some paper in his hands troubled. You tilted your head slightly, “If you have something to him, I can make sure that Takeda gets it once he returns.”

“That would be great! Truthfully, I don’t know how important this paper even is, Takinoue just told me to bring it here.”

You raised an eye brown and took the paper. After eyeing the paper, you opened a certain file again on the computer. “It’s a record which tells Takeda if the previous injuries of some soldiers affected their performance during the training camp. There’s also a list of the biggest injuries that occurred during the trainings and which might need to be checked later.” You started to write up the records onto the system, as it would save Dr. Takeda’s time later. At least during the coming health checks, he would know what going on with his patients. “I wouldn’t call it too important, but Dr. Takeda is precise what comes to renewable injuries. He wants to fix anything that can be fixed after all.”

Daichi hummed as an answer and watched your working from the door way a while. To his eyes, it seemed like you would have given in on something, you looked weary. Empty even. But the way you worked with the keyboard told him that you hadn’t lost your ability to function. The captain sighed and moved in the office and laid down on a single bed at the room’s other end.

“Will you finish it before the closing ceremony?”

The way he asked the question was casual, like he would have asked it incidentally. Still it was clear that he wanted to know if you were about to skip the closing ceremony too. You glanced at Daichi, and he glanced at you. There was a short eye contact which you broke by turning your attention the computer again.

“If I’m not disturbed, there just might be a chance that I finish it soon enough.”

Daichi grinned, _she just had to…_ When you glanced at him again, eyebrow raised, Daichi bit his lips closed and turned his gaze elsewhere. It was better to not start argue back, if he wanted you to come to the closing ceremony.

 

\- * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * -

 

You were lined up with the Elites, standing straight between Oikawa and Bokuto, facing towards the soldiers in green camouflage pants and white shirts. The closing ceremony of the training camp was over and the soldiers of Eagle Garden were finally leaving. The Rookies had left sooner, there was still some formalities to do between the captains of the bases, and the Rookies’ presence wasn’t needed anymore.

Even though team Eagle Garden’s leaving pleased you, you refused to feel comfortable. You didn’t allow yourself to feel at ease. They could sense it, and you didn’t want to please them with that feeling. They might feel it from the others though. You had heard from Daichi that the last shooting competition had ended in victory for Crow’s Nest, but it hadn’t helped much.

Eagle Garden had won honestly the whole event, and it was a bitter pill to swallow.

The commander Akira stepped out from the main building with Ukai. They chatted a moment and soon shook hands for the last time. Akira nodded at the Ushijima and soon the soldiers started to prepare for the leaving. Meanwhile the commander himself got in one vehicle and waited.

“Damn…,” Kuroo snarled quietly. “I hate to let them go back home like some conquerors.”

“Mm,” Iwaizumi, Bokuto and Sugawara agreed while glaring at the men in the front.

Oikawa was the one who always snagged about the Eagles, but now he stood there silent and stiff. He always bragged and somehow looked down at the soldiers of the Eagle Garden, and the Eagles even more. But now they had defeated him too. _He must feel frustrated,_ you thought and glanced at the man.

What you saw made the hair in your neck stood up – against your thoughts Oikawa seemed to be fired up, his gaze locked on the soldiers in front of him. His chocolate-brown eyes gleamed, and he grinned like somebody was mocking him straight to his face. He looked anything else but beaten. You stared at him eyes wide open before turning your gaze at ground. Oikawa looked so proud. So proud that you started to question your rights to stand next to him.

“It pisses me off,” Oikawa said finally, “I want them to leave but at the same time I want to beat the crap out of them.”

Daichi sneered quietly before turning solemn again, though the small smile on his lips never died away. “Let’s beat them next time,” the captain said, his voice ringing with severity and hidden excitement.

_Next time…_

As the soldiers of the Eagle Garden lined up for the roll call before being allowed to get in the vehicles, their captain walked at your line. It was time for the final formalities. Since the trainer of the base, Washijou, was absent, it was Tendou who followed Ushijima half way. Another formality: always have backup. It didn’t mean that they didn’t trust you. You just never went anywhere without backup. Ushijima showed Tendou to stop about ten meters away from the line you formed. The former injury on his shoulder didn’t seem to bother him anymore, you saw. He looked quite satisfied. When Ushijima turned his back at him, Tendou gave you a contemptuous smirk.

The pressure in his gaze made you feel uncomfortable. _He looks down on me._

Oikawa leaned down at you without turning his gaze from Tendoo, and whispered, “Don’t let him depress you, (Name)-chan. He doesn’t deserve that kind of joy.”

Though the urge to bite your lip and break the eye contact with that nasty bloodhound was strong, you refused to bend. Instead you took a deep breath and lifted your chin up, a bit higher, and looked down on him. You had small doubtful expression, like you were pondering if you were facing a man or a child. Eventually Tendou’s smirk died. It felt like forever for him to break the eye contact with you. The Elites smiled once he did, they felt proud of you.

Once Ushijima was close enough, Daichi walked to meet him. The captain of the governing base and the captain of the Southern army base linked their hands for the handshake. Both of them stood straight, giving out impressions of their leadership.

Ushijima glanced at you, but you refused to create eye contact with him. You were everything else but ready to face him. Knowing Ushijima, he probably just wanted to make sure that there still was cooperation between you and him – the combat between the two of you had surely left a bad taste in his mouth too. But you weren’t ready. Not today.

“I thank you for this opportunity of having a common training. I believe that knowing each other’s strengths and weaknesses will improve the cooperation between our bases,” Ushijima’s voice was strong but monotonous. After finishing he turned to look at you again.

“I thank for your team presence,” Daichi said calmly. Oversweet words weren’t to his taste but there was an etiquette to follow. “This weekend has truly been educational, and we all have learned much about each other. I wish that our cooperation will improve in the future for this country’s wellbeing.”

Ushijima turned his attention back on the captain of the Elites.

“Yes,” Ushijima said before glancing at you again. He really had wanted to exchange words with you. The way he had treated you during the combat had been unprofessional, he should have never lost his composure like that. He knew this was his last chance to approach you.

The Elites knew this too. As Ushijima was about open his mouth, Daichi acted.

“I wish you and your team to have a safe return, Captain Ushijima!” He said fake-happily, before turning to his Elites. “Thank at three! One, two,..!”

Everyone saluted and shouted, “ **We thank you!** ”

This gesture sealed everything; it sealed the farewell and ruined Ushijima’s plan to approach you. If he approached you now, he would greatly break the protocol. He could only salute, back down, and leave. Ushijima knew this too. The corners of his mouth tightened as he realized to have lost his chances. Soon he saluted at Daichi and nodded at the Elites and you. After the last glance, he started to walk away.

The Elites had troubles to keep themselves from grinning.

Meanwhile you were finally starting to feel slightly easier. You followed tiredly as Ushijima walk back to the Eagles with Tendou. Almost every common soldier was in some vehicle now. They would leave soon. Ushijima and the Eagles showed gratitude to Ukai before starting to get on the vehicles. It wasn’t like you felt melancholic that they were leaving, but you suddenly remembered that about four months ago, you had also been a part of that group. Training to become an Eagle, to become their teammate.

Though you never were wanted.

“I heard that…,” you started in a quiet voice, everyone stiffened for a moment to hear you out. “Washijou, the head trainer of the Eagles and my former trainer, had compared my transmission here to sending me to wild hungry wolves. That from here on my journey was downwards to inevitable failure.” Though it didn’t mean anything to you anymore, you suddenly started to feel frustration build inside you. It crept up towards your throat and made its presence known. While watching the last members of the Eagle’s Garden getting in the vehicles you were already gritting your teeth. The joints in your knuckles cracked as you pressed your hands into tight fists. You were shaking. From frustration. Anger.

Regret.

“I will show him… them… I will return that pack beside me.”

Ushijima was the last one to get in the leading car. Something caught his attention. Chills. Automatically he turned his attention at you again, swearing it was his last time to do so. His eyes widened of sight what he saw: your eyes shined in resolution. Fiercely.

The Elites listened you, seriously, feeling their hearts get filled with your resolution and struggle. They felt so warm. It felt like they finally understood you, there was a common goal. You were finally facing the same direction with them. Like a teammate and a friend.

“N-Next time…” you voice wavered, but you kept your chin up. You had hard time to fight down your emotional burst. “Next time I will _devour_ them. I’ll… devour them all.”

As the last car left, the Elites could finally leave their positons. You tore your gaze from the receding symbol of Eagle Garden. _They’re gone,_ you thought and let the exhaustion finally capture you. It was over. As you walked towards the barracks the Elites expressed their support in their turns: they patted your back or squeezed your shoulder gently. Patted your hair or stroked it tenderly. Words weren’t needed. And you let them do it. You didn’t flinch or grimace the sudden contact. Without a word, you took it all in and grew stronger. Next time you would fight for them.

You knew whose side you were.

Daichi watched you in awe. _You have grown so much, (Name)_ … After one night, you would have been in the base of Crow’s Nest for four months. It meant something else too: your assessment time was also ending soon. After a couple of nights, there would be a meeting with Ukai and the other superiors.

It would be decided whether you would become an Elite.

 

 

You were almost at barracks when Kuroo suddenly spotted a man waiting for somebody. “Hm? Tsukki? What are you doing here?”

Tsukishima lifted his gaze from the ground lazily, “It’s not really your business, Kuroo.”

He had some unnamed file with him. He looked for somebody before seeing you. When his golden-brown eyes met yours, his expression changed. Suddenly he frowned uneasily and broke the eye contact in seconds. Before you could even start suspecting you had a hunch what was going on _. It’s about me_ , you thought, tiredly, as you glanced at the file in Tsukishima’s grip once again. You probably would start to feel alert now if you wouldn’t feel so freaking exhausted. It felt pointless. You had no strength to hold up any barriers.

Soon Tsukishima found who he was looking for, and moved towards Daichi, “I found something that needs your counseling, Captain.” He glanced at your direction as he handed the file to the captain. It wasn’t huge gesture, but you surely did notice it.

It didn’t take long for you to figure out what this all was about, _he found it_. You didn’t know how to feel about it though. The information that Tsukishima was about to show Daichi wasn’t anything new, for you at least. It was unlimited information. Tsukishima had just taken his time to find it. Well, it was you who gave him sick-leave because of that hand of his, but you never had thought that he would use his time to find _that_. So maybe this too was a consequence of your actions. _I should have bandaged his whole hand,_ you thought bitterly.

You knew it already when Iwaizumi had shaken you awake in the middle of the night that this day was about to be rough, but _this_ rough? Really? Higher might were having the time of their eternal life, it seemed. You could almost smell their popcorns in the wind.

“Are you sure you don’t need my counseling too?” you asked tiredly before Daichi could open the file.

Everyone glanced at you confused but Tsukishima only glared at you. Something was up and only Tsukishima and you seemed to be only ones who knew what was going on. Daichi raised an eyebrow at you two.

“It’s not my job to tell if your counseling is needed, but somehow I can already guess how you would advise us.” He squinted his eyes in a dissatisfied manner. You hardly responded. You were already regretting even asking, _I’m too tired to start to solve this now_. “You think that information means nothing but as a strategist and a member of the supportive teams of this base, I need to bring this kind of information forward. It may be yet something.”

“Do as you please then,” you sighed and turned to leave. “Only thing it proves is that I indeed have enemies in Arylean but oh wait, that fact applies to everyone here! I just happen to have ink on the paper because of it too.”

Tsukishima grimaced as he was losing his temper before turning towards Daichi.

“So can I have a moment with you? Just you.”

Daichi blinked at Tsukishima before glancing at you and then other Elites. Soon the captain nodded. “Yes, of course.”

Daichi made eye contact with everyone in turn before nodding towards you, _go show some support for her_. He had no clue what was going on, but you were gripping your stomach again. The men nodded and went after you, while Daichi and Tsukishima moved to side, so they wouldn’t get unneeded attention.

 

 

“May I ask what was that all about?” Kuroo asked, feeling slightly irritated about all the hiding again.

“No, but you already asked,” you answered through your teeth, before sighing. “It’s really nothing too important. Tsukishima just finally found out something I haven’t cared to share.”

Kuroo grimaced. “Somehow I’m not even surprised anymore.”

“I’m happy to hear that. Keep that up and I might even start to like you.”

Kuroo blinked a couple of times before grinning slyly; he absolutely loved when you bit back instead of avoiding the situation. He was almost sure that you would get pissed off.

“I already know you like me.”

“Shut up.” Though you kept your face stern, Kuroo could see what you tried to hide. He grinned after you and shook his head while chuckling.

“But hey, that doesn’t mean we don’t want to know what that four-eyes found out, (Name)-chan…” Oikawa whined while taking his place on the sofa.

Iwaizumi slapped Oikawa to the back of his head, “Don’t pressure her, idiot!”

“Owwiee!!”

“I don’t really care,” you sighed as you sat down too. The sofa felt so comfortable that you started to fear that you might fall asleep in seconds.

Sugawara observed you as he made his way to the sofa too. Your replies made him feel a bit odd. He had to mention about it, “Please don’t take this wrong, (Name) but you seem to be surprisingly calm about the fact that Kei found something about you.“ You blinked tiredly as you turned your attention on Sugawara. “I mean, I honestly thought that you would be feeling uneasy about it. Now you seem to be fine with it. I’m confused.”

“Well… I would be lying if I said that this doesn’t bother me a bit. I’m just so freaking tired… and quite sure that what Tsukishima found out can’t make me feel as restless as this weekend did. Right now, I feel like nothing can upset me anymore.” You pointed at Kuroo and tried to look serious. “Still, don’t try your luck!”

Kuroo smirked and lifted his hands up. The men around you laughed, and you had to smile.

“Then you probably can walk us through this.”

Your smile froze as Daichi stepped in the lounge. He gave you a small smile before throwing the unnamed file on the coffee table in front of you and going to get himself water. You could sense irritation in him. Maybe a hint of frustration. The others glanced at him and felt immediately a bit uneasy. The file was thin and dull colored, yet when you looked at it your guts felt tighter. A small part in you wanted to check what Tsukishima had found out though you already knew.

Daichi walked to the notice board to see your reactions and leaned against it while sipping his water. His eyes gleamed as he observed you and the file. “Aren’t you going to check it?”

“I think I don’t need to do so.” _Your reaction is too mild for it to be something dreadful_ , you thought as you observed Daichi. You didn’t feel so tired anymore. Everyone sat silently and observed what was going to happen.

“Really? I think you should still check it, you don’t see things like that every day!”

_He’s not taking the hint_ , you thought, irritated from tiredness and the fact you really had to start to solve this right now. “Daichi, just spit out the question.”

Daichi stood still for a moment before tilting his head slightly. “Who is (FakeName)?”

Sugawara’s eyes widened as shiver went through his body. _That nam_ e, he recalled. That Blood Brother had mentioned the name in Dayton during the Runaway game.

“Well, it’s one of the aliases which I have  - -”

“I didn’t ask what it meant, (Name). I asked you who (FakeName) is.” Daichi was serious now.

You started to feel irritated. “(FakeName) was…” As you thought how to describe that person, you had a flashback, a memory. You could see her (h/c) hair and bright (e/c) eyes. It felt like forever that you had seen or even spoke about her. “She was a woman, who worked as a nurse in a busy city. Shiftwork, but mostly in evening shifts. She preferred cool evenings over dry and hot days. She ate well, exercised a lot, enjoyed meeting people… lived quite a normal life.”

“She did?” Daichi asked without moving his stare from you. “What happened to her?”

Daichi’s heavy staring was exhausting you even more. “Who knows. One day she just happened to find something else to do and left. Maybe she didn’t like her work after all.” Though you managed to hide irritated tone from you voice, your eyes showed how you truly felt; they were smoldering.

“Really? Why would she leave all that behind?”

The pressure between you was getting too overwhelming for Sugawara. “D-Daichi…” He had never seen Daichi act like this in front of you. Yes, you were the most rebellious one against the captain in the team but so far Daichi had been understanding. _What in the earth did Kei found?_

Daichi ignored Sugawara’s attempt to calm down the situation.

“She seemed to have everything alright. I find it odd for her to just leave.”

You hid the twitching of your upper lip by smiling faintly but it only made you look rather mocking. “Maybe she got tired of solving other people’s personal problems. In the long run, it can get quite tiring, but you already knew _that_.”

The corner’s of Daichi’s mouth stiffen. Everybody squirmed on their places and avoided looking either of you directly in the eyes. Kuroo bit his lips so he wouldn’t grin, while Akaashi, Iwaizumi and Sugawara stood there their mouths open. Bokuto didn’t quite get it and just looked around while wondering why everybody acted so weird suddenly. _Got to remember to apply cold water to that burn later,_ Oikawa thought while trying to hide his grin under hand and look concerned. It was no-hoper to argue with you when you were pissed off. You had totally checkmated him. But Daichi had it coming.

You sighed and nodded at the file on the table. “Like I just said, whatever Tsukishima found out, it can’t make me feel bad about it. Anybody can find that file if they just know where to look… I haven’t cared about it since it doesn’t change anything.”

Daichi frowned his brows while you raised yours in asking manner. He couldn’t argue back.

Bokuto couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Nghh, could somebody explain what’s going on! I can’t put my finger on what’s happening! Seriously, what’s in that file?!”

Everyone glanced at Bokuto who was rubbing his head as if it was hurting. Daichi gulped and turned to look at you again, troubled this time. You slumped in the cushions of the sofa and waved your hand.

“It’s not classified so go on…”

Daichi sighed and opened the file so everyone could see what it held inside. Sugawara was the one who picked the file up and everybody else leaned in to see it; there was just one printed paper with a picture of you and the name (FakeName) under it. There was quite a lot of text in Velarian above and under the picture. At first sight it looked like a normal picture but soon the men pieced everything together.

It was a wanted poster.

You could hear somebody gulp. Sugawara glanced at you and Daichi in slight shock as Kuroo took the picture from him to observe it closer. Akaashi leaned in to read the text. You looked so different in the picture; you were pretty as always but somehow looking brighter, happier. There was a hint of playfulness in your eyes as you were looking at the picture taker.

When your eyes met with the captain again he asked the question that was probably bothering everyone right now. “Why would the enemy go to this far to capture you?”

Everyone turned to look at you and from their face you could tell that they were confused.

“I simply took something important from them, and they would like to get it back or know what I did with it. I can’t unfortunately tell more you since it- -“

“- - it’s classified information.” Daichi finished your sentence with a grunt. After you nodded he just wiped his face and nodded too. “Of course.”

The lounge remained silent for a moment. As you observed everyone’s reactions you noticed that Sugawara and Kuroo seemed to be the most troubled about the wanted poster along with Daichi. It was quite odd to you. It wasn’t like you were the only person the Blood Brothers were looking for; the enemy knew who the big shots were in the Allied Guards and tried to get rid of them first. For you everybody was on the wanted list.

You got up. “Well since this is now solved out, I’d like to go to sleep. This day has been absolutely horrific. If you have something to say, you should say it now or save it later.”

“You should get the supper before that though!” Sugawara said and got up too. Letting you go to bed without eating made him always worry, especially today since it really had been a hard day for you.

You glanced the clock and grimaced little, “I don’t think I bear that long…”

There was a precise time when the soldiers could go to eat, and the workers of the canteen and kitchen hated to make exceptions. If you couldn’t come to eat, you didn’t eat. Of course the workers had to give in for the Elites from time to time but it was only in emergency cases; this case surely wasn’t one.

Kuroo grinned and jumped up, “Let’s just go! They always have something to eat at the canteen anyways though they hate to admit it!”

“Are we pulling the ‘ _we are about to hurry for a mission so give us food_ ’ -strategy again?” Bokuto laughed.

Akaashi shook his head, “Impossible, we are having a free day. There is not supposed to be any missions today and they are informed about it too.”

“Graah!! True!”

“Looks like I just have win them around again.” Daichi sighed a smile on his face. You were quite surprised about the fact the captain seemed to be so calm now, weren’t you upset a while ago? Everybody turned on him excited.

“Oh Captain ~ ~ “

Daichi laughed yet he moved like he felt super uncomfortable, “If you make this creepy, you aren’t invited.” In the end, everyone decided to go eat since the captain promised to swing it. You felt little troubled about going to eat; you really were tired, Daichi may not be able to convince the staff to bring the supper forward, and you felt still a bit uneasy about the previous dispute. Daichi noticed your wavering and turned to you, “Are you coming (Name)?”

As you watched into Daichi’s eyes you noticed that there was no more irritation; he was looking you like you were old friend. Really tenderly.

You smiled little, the storm seems to have passed, or to be delayed. “Sure then… but you will carry me out there if we don’t get anything. I’m not going to walk there in vain.”

Daichi ogled at you surprised a short moment before chuckling. “Very well!”

Everything felt like normal now; everyone was relaxed and happy as ever. It seemed like they had already forgotten the fact that the base had failed to win Eagle Gardens once again. Nobody brought up the subject about the wanted poster of you which made you glad on some level.

Yet you felt dreadful. So many things had happened during this weekend, so many things were changing in you. You still felt regret for not fighting for your team and for letting the fear of your past control you. The way everyone reacted to the wanted poster had made you rethink again your wills to open up to them; if that one paper managed to upset the Elites that much, how about hearing the whole story behind it then. It wasn’t a pretty story.

Your soul-searching was suspended as Oikawa waved hand in front of your eyes. You blinked and gave him an inquisitive glance.

“Were you just sleepwalking, (Name)-chan~ ?”

Everyone found your tiredness somehow sweet and smiled. You shook your head. “Just gazing…”

Sugawara patted your back, “Don’t worry, that will be fixed soon!”

You smiled and nodded. As the men focused on their own subjects, you focused on that stinging feeling in your chest. Your scar were aching too. But you bit back the feeling though it was suffocating you.

_I don’t know how this will be fixed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey my buddies!
> 
> I'm so so sorry that it took this long for me to return here! I hope everything is going well with all of you and life isn't testing you too much! My current studies are FINALLY relenting a bit (there are still things to do but I know I'll handle them). I have had more time now so I decided to finish and publish a new chapter here! Yay! I still have the entrance exams next Monday (yikes!), but I believe that after them I can finally relax and focus more on writing! Wish me luck! <33
> 
> While editing this chapter I realized that I have basically poured out my struggles of the past two months to this text, haha! It's been a bit rough with the current studies while trying to prepare for the entrance exams, plus working at the same time. But hey I'm still moving forward! It has felt like forever but now things are getting a bit lighter. They always do!
> 
> So I was asked about the characters' age group in the series (thank you nanachu for the question btw!). I honestly never thought it through, but I like to think that the Elites aren't same aged though they are close to each other (I like to think Daichi and Kuroo are the oldest while Iwaizumi is the youngest). Like something between mid 20's to mid 30's. I never specified their ages for the reader's freedom to choose (they can be teens or middle-aged, whichever way the reader wants it).
> 
> Last but not least I want to thank you for everyone who are still on this journey with me! Thank you for your incredible patience and support! 
> 
> Love ya, all! <3  
> \- Duuupuh


	15. The Oath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is super short! I forgot to add this to the previous one and adding it to the next longer chapter would have set off the pace ( Ó 3 Ò )

You were finally becoming an Elite.

The chapel of the base was full of soldiers, crowded from wall to wall. Many people were standing since all the benches were in use. There were a lot of familiar faces and people who you came along with as well but there were even more of those who you hardly knew. Everybody was chatting quietly as they waited for the ceremony to start. The chapel was overflowing with form-fitting gray camouflage patterned with white.

There was a single black dot in the room, and it was you.

You were standing in the front wearing black from head to toes: a tight, ¾ sleeve shirt with high neck, plain fingerless gloves, pants that were a bit baggy, and dark army boots. Like an Elite should dressed. There were not words to describe how awkward you were feeling while standing there in the middle of everyone’s attention. The pressure in your chest made you feel super-uncomfortable.

You glanced at the door again. There was nothing new, just common soldiers waiting for the ceremony to start. You sighed, _I guess they really aren’t coming_. Ennoshita was sitting in the front seat with his team and noticed your worrying. He smiled at you a bit sadly and sighed. It was almost like he was apologizing. Daichi had given an order for Ennoshita’s team to sit in the front to support you on your big day, so somebody who you trusted was close to you. Daichi had thought it would make you feel better.

The Elites had gotten a mission two days ago. They had assured that they would be back by yesterday’s evening, but the mission had dragged on. The night passed and there was no word from the men until this morning when Sugawara had contacted the base and told that they were heading back. There was no telling if they would make it in time. You didn’t want to put your hopes up too high.

You felt pissed. Not because the men wouldn’t probably arrive in time but for how it made you feel – you didn’t know why you felt so frustrated. It was all the same for you if they were there or not; you would become an Elite all the same. Yet the lack of their presence bugged you.

You glanced at the door again, and it suddenly opened. You felt your heartbeat quicken.

Commander Ukai and his friends, Takinoue and Shimada, were with him. You had only a couple of days ago learned that Shimada had permission to work as an army chaplain. You had your rehearsal of the ceremony with him two days ago. They walked to you and placed themselves in front of you so Shimada was in the middle, Ukai next to him, and Takinoue behind Ukai. When Shimada gave a signal, everyone stood up, and after a small prayer he gave everyone permission to sit back down.

The ceremony officially started.

Ukai had a speech about what it meant to be and Elite, how everything and nothing changes after the tittle, about all the important things an Elite must remember… Ukai gave you glances all the while as if reminding you that you weren’t allowed to fuck up anymore; that it would be nice if you actually behaved, didn’t cause troubles, and showed your fullest talent in the future. As an Elite.

You withheld your smirk as best as you possible could.

Daichi and Ukai had had a loud conversation about you becoming an Elite. Ukai had problems accepting the fact you still showed resistance to show your talents. In his opinion you had failed during the training camp and held up the base to ridicule. The fact you hadn’t spoken about your past and the visible consequences of it, such as the night terrors, didn’t please the commander even less.

Yet Daichi had supported you till the end. He genuinely believed that you had room to grow and prove yourself when you felt so. The Elites wouldn’t be rushing you; they had decided together to support you till the end.

When Ukai’s speech finally ended, Shimada moved forward and nodded to you. You moved to stand in front of him. Everybody’s eyes were on you, you could feel it. Everything felt blurry. You somehow felt trapped. It was hard to follow Shimada’s talking but fortunately you knew what you were supposed to say and when. You had practices quite a lot.

“Will you take the Oath of the Elite in front of these men and any higher beings?”

“Yes, I will.”

Shimada brought the holy book in front of you and smiled before nodding. You knew what you were supposed to do. You raised your right hand for the oath as you were placing your left hand on the book in front of you. As you lowered your hand on the book, you noticed that your hand was shaking.

Suddenly the doors on the other side of the chapel opened with a loud creak.

“Pheewww, looks like we made it, boys!”

The ceremony was interrupted. While everyone tried to get a better look at the newcomers, who made their way towards the front of the chapel, you sank your head to hide your smile. You didn’t need to turn to know who was coming. Your heart was beating fast. So fast.

“We apologize our interruption, but we really couldn’t neglect to participate.”

Their steps echoed in the open space. You turned to see them only when they were almost at you.

Only when you saw their sweet smiles and grins you realized how clear everything felt now. The colors seemed somehow richer than before. _Ah, I see…_ , you thought as the warmest feeling spread through your body as the men greeted you with gentle pats and strokes, _…I missed them_. Finally, there was a word for your earlier discomfort - longing. It felt so good to see them.

Instead of moving to side, the Elites made a line, so you were standing in the middle, except Daichi who went to replace Takinoue’s place as a dog tag bearer – you were going to have new dog tags which matched with the Elites after all. All the rest of you formed a pitch-black line: Iwaizumi, Oikawa, Sugawara, you, Kuroo, Akaashi, Bokuto.

Shimada glanced at Ukai who just raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know if you noticed but there’s a certain ceremony going on. What exactly are you doing?”

Daichi took a step forward and answered: “Well, on our way here we thought how we could show our maximum support for (Surname), and we came into a resolution that there is no better way to do it than retaking our oaths with her.”

The Elites glanced at you and smiled.

Ukai sighed loudly before answering, “I see that you have good intentions and I don’t have anything against it only if (Surname) will allow it. She is the main star here today, you know.”

“Thank you, sir!” The Elites glanced you from their places and Daichi smiled to you, “Will you allow us to participate in this ceremony by taking the oath together with you, (Name)?”

You blinked and glanced to your right and left. The men were staring at you their eyes sparkling. You sighed as a smile forced its way on your lips, “Yes, I would love that.” The smiles you got from the Elites after that were the brightest ones you had ever seen so far. Their satisfied huffs filled the air as a faint redness appeared on your cheeks.

Ukai watched you, baffled. He had never seen you so bright before. His lips curled into a smile forcing him to brush his chin to hide it, _to think you could make that kind of face, (Surname)._ He felt like he had yet again underestimated you.

“Well then, let’s continue!”

After nodding at Shimada, the man continued the rituals and brought the book to you once again. Simultaneously, all of you raised your right hand up and you placed your left hand on the book.

“Please repeat the oath: I, Name Surname, vow and guarantee- -“

 

_I, (Name) (Surname), vow and guarantee undying loyalty to the King of Arylean_

_and unwavering obedience to the superiors of the Allied Guards._

_I promise to obey the laws and orders and never give out information that could harm my allies._

_I am a member of the team and will never leave a fallen comrade behind._

_I will always place the mission first and never accept defeat._

_I will finish the mission as long as my heart beats_

_and upon my last breath, I know I have fulfilled my duty._

_I promise to be fair and supportive towards my team_

_and righteous and encouraging lead to my underlings._

_I am an Elite of the Crow’s Nest_

_and I will rise to fight whenever I am called._

 

 “- - All this, I want and will fulfill by my honor and conscience.”

“ **\- - All this, I want and will fulfill by my honor and conscience.** ”

Shimada nodded, a satisfied smile on his lips, and took a step to side. Ukai gave you permission to lower your hands and rest as he walked to you. Ukai took the dog tags from the box which Daichi was carrying and placed them on your neck. The dog tags were made of dark metal and were shaped like feathers.

“Now you have the tittle of the Elite and the responsibilities with it. This oath is not a promise to me or your team, or to the Allied Guards or this nation; it’s a promise to yourself. I look forward to see the results of your hard work.”

Ukai took a step back and cleared his throat. He took up a straight posture, “Everybody, attention!” Every soldier in the room stood up, straightened their backs, placed their fists to their sides and moved their heels together. “Elites, dismiss! Others salute! Show some honor!”

The soldiers behind you saluted as the eight of you walked past them. It felt quite thrilling for you at least. Once you had left the chapel and walked to the safe distance, the men started to fuss around you. Bokuto and Kuroo mussed your hair while the others patted you or showed their support in other ways.

“Whoaa, that went so well!” Bokuto laughed as you pushed him further away, “I’m so proud of you!”

 “Sorry, we were so late!” Sugawara said as he gave you a quick hug. “We didn’t mean to make you worry!”

“(Name)-chan, black suits you so well ~ “

“Could you please calm down a bit!?” you grunted uncomfortably. “Yes, yes, I’m an Elite now and wear black just like you but you don’t need to fuss about it that much! It’s just me!”

The men glanced at each other and for a moment it felt like they were reading each other’s minds, before smiling sweetly at you. “We fuss about this because it’s you, (Name)!” Their honesty made you feel flustered.

Daichi put his arm on your shoulder and gave a gentle but firm squeeze. You could sense tenderness coming from him. “Welcome to the flock, (Surname).”

Your eyes widened, _to the… flock_. Somehow that word made more sense to you than the oath you had just repeated in the chapel. A flock. Your heart skipped a beat when you thought about that word. It gave you the impression that team that worked seamlessly together by taking advantage of everyone’s unique traits, and where every member understood each other; a team which you had longed to have.

_A flock._ Shivers went through your body. You weren’t going to be the only one feeling the chills today though, as you proved soon. A small blush took over your cheeks as you smiled in a playful manner.

“Let the hunt begin then ~ ”

 

* * *

 

 

“Well well, isn’t it our Miss Elite!” Ukai laughed and put his papers away.

You groaned. Where were everyone pulling those? Suddenly after you became an Elite, everyone had started to call you either Miss or Madam again. It was getting too tiring to correct everyone. “Sir, please don’t tell me you summoned me here just to say that.”

Ukai grinned cunningly, “Maybe.” You gave him an unimpressed look which caused the man to laugh again. “Phaha! Sorry, I’m not _that_ cruel. I actually had you something!”

You raised an eyebrow and stepped closer. “For me?”

Ukai lifted some random papers and pulled out a sealed envelope. He looked it a moment before offering it to you over his table. “This arrived for you this morning and I promised to make sure you’d get it immediately.”

You turned the envelope around, but it didn’t look significant. “Why wasn’t it sent with regular mail? That way I would get it even if I would’ve tried to avoid it.” Your name was written on the envelope but there was no address. The handwriting wasn’t familiar to you either.

“It arrived inside a letter that was meant for me. The sender wanted to make sure that the letter would reach you.” Ukai watched you examine the envelope, somehow hesitating to open it. There was still curiosity in your (e/c) eyes and you were already fiddling with the edge of the seal flap to open it. Ukai sighed and looked for his tobaccos. “The man who sent it had connections to my gramps. From what I have heard, he’s sent you letters before too.”

Your fingers halted just as you got a proper hold of the edge. Ukai lit his tobacco as he observed your reaction, _so you’re finally getting who we’re talking about, hm?_

“Somehow his previous letters were never answered, or they never got through.”

Your interest towards the letter in your hand vanished into the thin air. Now it had become a burden. You smiled to hide your disappointment. “That happens a lot with the mail. Especially when the country where you’re trying to send a letter happens to be in a civil war.”

Ukai took a deep breath of the tobacco and breathed out a long smoke cloud. He stared at you for a moment before straightening himself on his chair.

“Listen, though your uncle is a stern and a bit rude man, he still cares about you. He got really worried when he couldn’t contact you in any way and leaned on my help.”

You were frowning and avoiding eye-contact with the commander. His reasoning wasn’t reaching you. You knew that the man never worried about you, he just wanted to test the weight of his remaining authority and Ukai had given him just what he wanted.

The way you acted greatly frustrated Ukai. “Sir (Surname) heard about you when his former colleague congratulated him for your achievement of raising your tittle to the Elite four days ago.”

“Yet when I joined Eagle Garden, his former base, he only mocked and abandoned me,” you snorted. “What a change of heart! Maybe another year of silence would do wonders for our relationship.”

You huffed through your nose as memories flooded through your mind. You didn’t want to remember that day, but it defined your current relationship with your uncle. The envelope in your hand felt heavy and like a nuisance.

The commander observed you for a while and gave you time to calm down. “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on between you two, since _both of you_ are really private about your lives, but don’t think that he hasn’t suffered too. That generation of soldiers are taught to bottle up everything and show a stern face in every situation, but that doesn’t mean their bottles are empty.” Ukai let his words sink in while smoking his tobacco. Soon he breathed the last smoke out and suffocated the tobacco in the ashtray. “I have only one order for you today, and it’s to read that letter carefully through.”

“Roger, sir.” That was what you said, but your expression told another story.

“(Surname), I mean it! Read it. See what he wants to say. Try to see him as a man who raised you and not as the one who abandoned you in his heartache.”

Ukai and you had a short stare down before you gave in and nodded. Reluctantly you put the letter to your pocked and backed away towards the door. “I will read it.”

“Make sure to do so too! I might check if you’ve read it.”

“Why are you so fixated with me reading his letter?”

“Because I made a promise to that man that it would reach you and you would read it! That man isn’t young anymore, you never know when you don’t get those letters anymore. Respect them! You have to respect them!”

There was a hint of anxiety in the commander’s voice, which made you feel uncomfortable. It had never occurred you that your uncle could die someday; he had been a ghost in your life for so long already. You had almost forgotten that he even was there. _Respect them._

You sighed. “Fine. Thank him for the letter for me and tell him that I read it on the same day.”

“Oooor, you could write him a letter yourself, hm?”

You grimaced; the commander was once again testing your limits. You stopped in your tracks again and turned towards the commander. “You told that you have just one order for me today, and it was reading the letter. That I’ll do, you have my word for it, but I do _not_ write him a letter back. Respect _that_.”

Ukai sighed in frustrated manner and crossed his arms on chest. “Someday I will get enough of that sharpness of yours.”

You curtsied at the door towards Ukai and gave a fake-smile before leaving. Ukai could only chuckle. Little by little you were getting out of your shell. You were becoming bolder, and somehow Ukai found it exciting.

_I wonder how greatly you will shine once you open up._

 

You opened the envelope on your way towards the barracks. The handwriting style in the letter didn’t match with the writing on the envelope. Still it surely was your uncle who had written the letter; nobody’s penmanship was as thick and sharp as his. The writing looked a bit different; it was a bit unstable and weaker, but you didn’t bother your mind about it.

It had to be his assistant who had wrote your name on the envelope; your uncle hardly trusted anybody else than his assistant. He had been there half of your youth for your uncle. He assisted your uncle but occasionally he helped you with school.

You read the letter:

_“Dear (Name),_

_Today I was congratulated for your promotion to the Elites of the Crow’s Nest. I find it disappointing that I had to hear about it this way, yet I want to congratulate you for your achievement. The route you have chosen isn’t easy, but you seem to do well. For now, at least. There has been a short break between my letters, I wonder if you noticed. I hate to admit it, but my health has gone down a bit._

_I wouldn’t mind if you sometimes answered my letters. There was a moment when I thought something had happened to you. If it wasn’t for my high rank and connections I wouldn’t have known about your whereabouts. Stop causing troubles!_

_Congratulations on your promotion. Contact me whether you need something._

_Stay safe._

_Sincerely yours,_

_(Uncle)”_

 

Your blood pressure raised as you read the letter. After everything you had gone through, your uncle still dared to show his disappointment towards you. You weren’t surprised though; that’s how your uncle had always been. He despised weakness, which you had noticed multiple times during your life. If you stumbled, he expected you to rise and don’t mind. There was no room for tears. “ _Crying will get you nowhere”_ , he always told you. “ _It’ll never help.”_ Nothing would change with tears, you had learned. He had made sure of it. Your uncle had always been annoyingly blunt with his words, and as a man he was too proud and too rough.

Yet when you finished the letter, you felt odd. His health had gone down and he admitted it in a letter. The man who hated weakness was admitting it to you. It felt somehow wrong.

“‘ _Stay safe._ ’…?” you read quietly. Was he worried about you?

_No,_ you shook your head, _it’s not possible._ Your uncle wasn’t the kind of person who would worry about anything extra. You folded the letter and placed it back into its envelope and opened your locker. There was a plastic folder where you stored the letters your uncle sent you. Some of the earliest letters you had opened and even read, but at some point, you had stopped reading them; you had gotten fed up with his continuous dissing. You already knew how big of a disappointment you were to him, yet he had to point it out in every letter.

You placed the letter in the folder and shut the locker. For a moment, you just stood still.

_‘Stay safe.’_

You shook your head. “He wouldn’t care and so you shouldn’t either,” you told yourself before heading out again. There were more important things to be done. There was a war to win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have written the chapters like _grazy_ lately! It feels so freeing since I've had huge troubles to get anything done for the past five months. I warn you, the next chapter(s) will be _long_. I'm slightly scared that they are _too_ long (ideas just keep coming and I want to use them all), but you choose!
> 
> Saga asked that if the story will have deeper pairings in which the reader focuses on individuals (reader x character -style) instead of this "team feeling". The answer is YES! My plan is to devote whole chapters for each Elite, which focuses on the relationship between a Elite and reader, but also to keep that "team feeling" and character development in the story too. I just try to make those chapters so they serve the plot line at the same time. Plus (I don't remember if I already mentioned about this) I might do this alternative ending thingy in which the reader can choose the Elite with who she want to settle down, but that is still on the level of early planning; I try to focus on the story for now. But we'll see, we'll see....
> 
> Thank you once again for the nice comments and questions! I don't know where you are reading this, but I hope you all have lovely day! 
> 
> See you _soon_!  <3


	16. The higher they rise, the harder they fall

Even though the schedules of the Elite weren’t a completely new thing to you anymore, they still drained you. When you had taken the oath, you had thought stubbornly that you knew everything about the life of the Elite and nothing would surprise you, when the truth was that you were just starting to learn about this way of life.

Training the Rookies had become your full-time job now, and you were finally going on missions with the other Elites. Instead of only following the orders, you were also giving them. Ordering the Rookies around made you feel awkward every time; you weren’t a person for leading after all. You’d rather followed rules than make others follow them. The pressure of screwing something up was always present.

You had also started to keep lessons for the soldiers about first-aid. Basically, you taught the men how to take care of the injured on the battlefield, be it them or somebody else, and how to do it safely and correctly. At first you had thought that nobody would attend the lessons, but people kept coming. After a couple of lessons, it was decided that you would continue your instructions in the auditorium since the class room had started to get cramped. Fortunately, you only needed to hold the lessons two times a week.

Whenever you had free time and nothing to do, you helped Dr. Takeda if he needed you. The doctor also helped you with the lessons from time to time by holding them for you or by attending them with you.

Though you were exhausted, you felt satisfaction from your work. You knew that someday you wouldn’t feel this tired: the start of anything new was always draining since learning new things took so much energy. You just had to keep going. You were taught to be flexible. Everything would be fixed soon.

 

* * *

 

 

Sugawara glanced at you again over the table as the both of you were writing the reports about your previous mission together. You had been sitting there almost all your free time. Sugawara was delaying his work so both of you would end at the same time.

“Is there anything else for you to do after this?” Sugawara asked. It was already evening, but there was still little free time left before the evening formalities and the supper. Just enough time to go for a short walk together, perhaps?

You glanced at the clock and sighed. “I still need to check the order forms of the clinic, so Takeda can send them tomorrow, but that shouldn’t take too long. I double-checked it yesterday after all.” Sugawara blinked in admiration, _she really doesn’t leave any room for mistakes!_ You concentrated on writing for a moment before breathing out and dropping the pen. “Phuaa! Done!”

Sugawara chuckled, “Nice!”

You flexed your back before getting up. “So how about this: I go to the clinic and make sure everything is fine with the order and then we go for a walk as you wanted.”

Sugawara blinked confused and a blush appeared on his cheeks, _h-how did she know that I was going to ask her for a walk?_ Your grinning only made the blush reach his ears.

“Oh c’mon, I’m skilled at reading between the lines! You know exactly that I have to take Mashur out anyway.” You took both your and Sugawara’s reports. You glanced at Sugawara’s paper and chuckled once; it had so less text than in your paper though you had started at the same time. “Plus looks like you were obviously waiting for me to finish!”

Sugawara rubbed his neck as he got even more flustered. “Y-You got me… so before the supper?”

“Got it,” you said, a playful smile on your lips before leaving.

 

\- * - * - * -* - * - * - * -

 

Mashur walked in front of the two of you while sniffing everything that interested him even slightly. Every so often he vanished into the bushes and made his way through the forest, scaring lonely birds in the process, before appearing back to you. Meanwhile you chatted with Sugawara. It was easy to be with him; he had this talent that made you relax no matter what the situation. His aura was really calming.  After so many busy weeks you really needed his presence. Even talking about work with him made you feel relaxation instead of anguish; you planned the coming training sessions and schedules together, you whined about Takeda and his working methods to him… and Sugawara listened to you with content while laughing sweetly. It felt so nice. So easy.

As you were closing the main building, you noticed lights at the garages. One of the garage doors was rolled up and you could hear loud talking coming from there, almost like bickering. Sugawara seemed to be surprised too. As you moved closer Iwaizumi and Oikawa stepped out from the garages while arguing.

No, not just arguing – they were raging at each other.

It seemed that Oikawa had done something to piss Iwaizumi off, which was fairly common, but this time Iwaizumi’s reaction was more aggressive than before. He was furious about something, and Oikawa seemed to press on with it.

You felt immediately uneasy, _what’s going on?_ You commanded Mashur to move to your side since he was getting nervous too. Sugawara slowed his walking before stopping. You glanced at him, confused, but his concerned expression told you that it was better this way. He seemed sad in some way, there were clear signs of worry in his brown eyes, but there was nothing about surprise. _He knows what’s going on,_ you realized before turning your focus back on Oikawa and Iwaizumi.

The men were raging almost nose to nose before Matsukawa and Hanamaki stepped between the men. Oikawa shouted something about Iwaizumi not being fair to his team which made the man lunge at the brunet. Matsukawa stopped him just in time and commanded him to calm down before ordering Oikawa to bug off. The sniper spat at their feet before leaving the scene towards the barracks. Only after Oikawa vanished behind the building, Matsukawa allowed himself to let Iwaizumi go. The men tried to calm the man down but he was furious.

The scene you had witnessed had been intense and it made you feel extremely worried. It wasn’t a normal argument that the duo had from time to time. It was pure _rage_. “What was that about?”

Sugawara gulped. “I bet you’re surprised, but this happens from time to time…”

Iwaizumi was walking circles by the garage door. Hanamaki and Matsukawa still tried to talk to him, but you didn’t see any progress happening. The Elite was drowned in his emotions; he gritted his teeth and brushed away his hair like he was trying to get some inappropriate thoughts out of his head by force.

Sugawara sighed, the air around you had become heavier, and he knew it wouldn’t be lifted anymore. _I should just tell her…_

“The commemoration day of their base’s fall is about in two weeks. Before coming here, they were soldiers of the Eastern Base of the Allied Guards, known as High Court.” You seemed to flinch at the name. You were staring at Iwaizumi and the others intensely but made no movement to do or say anything. Sugawara gulped before continuing, “They, especially Oikawa, had a hard time accepting that event. The base was lost about three years ago - - ”

“Two,” you interrupted; your voice came out almost as silent as a whisper. “It’s happened two years ago.”

Sugawara watched you worried, “Ah… yeah. Two years ago, sorry.” He hadn’t thought that you would know about the incident, but now it seemed that it haunted you. On the other hand, who wouldn’t have heard about the fall of High Court; it was one of the greatest defeats in the history of the Allied Guards. You couldn’t tear your eyes from Iwaizumi. _This is stressing her,_ Sugawara thought while observing you. All of sudden you seemed hollow. Were you trembling?

Iwaizumi got enough of the drivers and decided to leave. Matsukawa and Hanamaki gave him supportive pats on his shoulders before going back in. At first he turned towards the barracks but immediately changed his mind and turned to opposite direction. Towards you and Sugawara.

Iwaizumi seemed to be furious; his walking pace was quicker than usual, his shoulders were tensed, and he still stroked his hair with aggressive movements. Yet it was his expression that upset you the most. When Iwaizumi glanced you, your body flinched and chills ran through your back; you had never seen him that fierce and frustrated. So angry. The man who you knew to be gentle and wary was buried under that rage.

Mashur whined quietly at your feet and moved slightly in front of you, getting bit by bit more protective. He liked this as less as you.

Iwaizumi stopped about five meters from you and Sugawara, and he seemed to hesitate. You could see from Iwaizumi’s eyes that he didn’t want you to see him like that. He didn’t know how to excuse his behavior.

“That… just..!” He took a deep breath and tried to force himself to calm down but just couldn’t. He had no words to express himself, so he used his hands to fill the gaps, but it didn’t help. Nothing helped. “He just HAS TO - -!! I don’t even - -!!“

You felt chills. Mashur growled quietly. Sugawara took a step forward, placing himself slightly between you and Iwaizumi. He gave you a worried glance before focusing on the man in front of you. Only then you realized that you had clenched your hands into fists; your nails were biting in your skin. Pulsating pain. Your heart was pounding in your ears.

“I know, Hajime,” Sugawara said in a gentle but serious way. “Please take your time to cool down, okay? I tell the kitchen staff to retain the supper a while longer.”

Iwaizumi grimaced but nodded in the end. He stroked his head again, frustrated, “Yeah… sorry.” He glanced at you one more time before heading past you towards the forest tracks. He was going to run, you knew. He needed air.

The nail marks burned on your palm as a reminded of your fear. _I couldn’t say anything._

Mashur whined and took a few steps after Iwaizumi before turning to you. He was pleading, you knew. When Iwaizumi started to run Mashur whined again but more loudly. You lowered yourself one knee and stroked the dogs head without taking your eyes off Iwaizumi’s receding back.

“Follow him. Don’t leave him alone,” you whispered to Mashur before giving him permission to go.

Mashur ran after Iwaizumi to the forest without looking behind. You sighed deeply, _he’s only one who can comfort him right now._ You felt frustrated. Sugawara watched you, distressed. All the earlier good mood in you had vanished into thin air; you were once again looking solemn and worried… remembering something unpleasant again. You were clenching your stomach, but it seemed that you didn’t notice it yourself.

“Try not to worry about this too much, (Name).” Sugawara spoke carefully as you were getting up. You were still staring towards the forest where Iwaizumi, and Mashur after him, had vanished. The falling evening made shadows look deeper. “These things tend to solve on their own. They just need time.”

“It’s not that simple…” Your voice was fragile but somehow sharp. There was a hint of painful knowledge in the way you said it. “…but that’s the safest method to solve this. If it can’t be fixed, you wait for it to pass by.”

Though you were still gazing in the same direction, Sugawara knew you weren’t in the present now. You were looking somewhere further, past the time and place. _What are you remembering, (Name)?_

You frowned and shook your head.

“It’s getting late. We should go back.”

Sugawara gulped before nodding, “Yeah.”

 

\- * - * - * - * - * - * - * -

 

In the end neither Oikawa or Iwaizumi accompanied you and Sugawara during the meal. Daichi, Kuroo, Bokuto, and Akaashi arrived from a mission later. They didn’t seem to be too surprised about the quarrel either. Akaashi made a deal with Kuroo and Bokuto who would switch bed with Iwaizumi for the needed time. You realized that everyone was already accustomed to this.

It made you feel uncomfortable.

 

It was already past silence time when you heard a gentle knocking coming from your room’s door. You hadn’t been sleeping since you knew that would be impossible without Mashur. But you knew your situation would be fixed now.

You walked straight to the door and opened it carefully. Mashur squeezed in immediately and went to drink. Iwaizumi flinched when your eyes met. He stood at the door and rubbed his sweaty neck, “Aah, hello… um, I’m sorry to be this late… Mashur got quite a run with me.” His shirt was damp from sweat and his face was slightly flushed.

You blinked and watched Mashur drink his water bowl empty before attacking the food bowl, “Well, that’s good. Really good… I haven’t been able to run with him at fullest for some time.” You turned to Iwaizumi again and he seemed to get nervous. You tilted your head slightly and asked carefully, “Are you okay?”

Iwaizumi got a bit startled by the question before sighing, “Y-Yeah, I am _now._ It took longer for me to calm down than I thought at first…” He glanced at you before sighing again and even deeper. “I’m sorry (Name)… seeing me like that must have startled you. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad back then.”

_He noticed,_ you thought, a bit alerted when you remembered how tensed you had become before Sugawara had taken the reins. “D-Don’t mind that. I just hope that everything’s okay with you… well, with _both of you,_ honestly.”

Iwaizumi furrowed his brows a little but shook it off. “It gets better within time, so you don’t need to worry about it.” Mashur came back to the door after finishing his meal. He was still panting his tongue hanging long. Iwaizumi’s expressions softened when he leaned down to pet the dog. “Thanks buddy, you were great help today.”

Mashur leaned his head on Iwaizumi’s head before the man stood back up. You had to smile slightly; they were already bonding quite strongly. You were feeling little jealous.

Iwaizumi watched towards the aisle where the men’s rooms were located and sighed again. “I better go to sleep… there might be a mission at any time.”

He clearly didn’t want to go though. He looked worried.

Suddenly you remembered the earlier conversation which you had heard. “Oh yeah, Akaashi switched places with you so you should take the room with Kuroo and Bokuto. Just so long as you feel like you need it. Everyone seemed to be fine with it.”

It took a moment for Iwaizumi to understand your words but soon he visibly relaxed in your eyes. He took a deep breath and smiled a little. You realized that you had really longed for that smile.

“Those guys can be thoughtful if they just try, huh?”

You smiled and nodded. “Looks like it.”

“Well, I’ll be off then. Good night, (Surname).”

“Good night.”

You watched Iwaizumi to walk to the Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kuroo’s door. His tired shoulders made him look like a beaten man. It didn’t fit him. He didn’t even glance at his and Oikawa’s door before slipping in the other room. _Get better soon, guys,_ you thought worried before shutting the door behind you.

Your wishes hadn’t been heard that night.

 

* * *

 

 

Even after two days, Oikawa and Iwaizumi were still at it. Whenever the duo was in the same room the atmosphere turned sour and uncomfortable for everyone. They glared at each other all the while and whenever one of them said _anything_ they started arguing about it. The longer you observed them the better you understood the pattern: Oikawa just couldn’t let the matter be while Iwaizumi didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Though you weren’t too sure what the main reason for Oikawa’s anger was, you could tell it was really tearing the man apart.

You heard from Akaashi that after the base of High Court had been beaten, Oikawa’s team had been disbanded. The Allied Guards couldn’t afford to put up a new base for them, so the decision had been unwavering. The soldiers of High Court were allowed to choose where they would be transferred, and Oikawa and Iwaizumi had decided to come to Crow’s Nest. Apparently, Commander Akira would have wanted all the remaining soldiers of High Court to be transferred to Eagle Garden, and it was one reason more for Oikawa to go anywhere else than there; Eagle Garden would be forever his worst rival and Crow’s Nest had been total opposite to that wretched place. Most of the men had decided to follow Oikawa, the former captain of High Court; nobody was forced to come here.

After learning what kind of pressure was sitting on Oikawa’s shoulders, you could understand better how horrible he had to be feeling. He was still trying to be an admirable captain for his men.

Akaashi also explained to you that Oikawa wasn’t exactly the person to let things go and brought up those bad memories, so no one would forget them. Iwaizumi couldn’t stand it. This causes tension between the men, but Akaashi and the others had already become accustomed to it. That kind of arguing had passed the last two years. The tension was now higher than ever since the commemoration day of that bad memory was closing in, Akaashi explained.

He just suggested you to let them be and solve their own matters. That was the safest way to handle them right now.

 

It was midday when you finally arrived from a mission. You had been in the city of Latum, in the northwest, with Kuroo and Iwaizumi. The three of you had been ordered there to capture two culprits who the Allies believed to be disseminating information about the bases actions. Well, the suspect had hit the mark since the culprits had made a run for their lives once they learned to be looked for. Sadly, they weren’t fast enough. The targets were captured within an hour and transported to the closest security prison. The authorities took the reigns from there on and you were allowed to return to the base.

Matsukawa had been your driver during that mission, and after arriving back to base, he drove the car in the garages only to find Oikawa wait you there. His brown eyes gleamed in a manner that made you feel chills. Hanamaki was with him and his expression was troubled; he obviously didn’t want to be there. Iwaizumi grunted and turned grim when he noticed Oikawa.

“Oh boy…” Kuroo sighed as Iwaizumi got off the car, banging the door loudly. You glanced at Kuroo, troubled, who just nodded towards the sniper. “That gleam of determination never means anything good when it’s him behind that expression.”

Iwaizumi took his stuff from the cargo and glared at Oikawa. The man squinted his eyes back at him but said nothing. He was waiting. As you and Kuroo were getting your equipment, you saw Oikawa give you two a look. You bet he didn’t mean to make neither of you feel bad, but it was genuinely threatening. The message was clear: _he doesn’t want us to stay here._

Kuroo leaned towards Iwaizumi and hummed. “Looks like he has something to say.”

Without breaking and eye contact with Oikawa, Iwaizumi spoke. “Looks like it.”

You felt extremely uncomfortable. Some part of you wanted to know what Oikawa had to say, but on the other hand, you didn’t want to stay. It was going to be a storm; the signs were crystal clear! It was surprising that the air didn’t crackle between Oikawa and Iwaizumi already! Your thinking came to a halt when Kuroo suddenly slid his two fingers down your neck and pulled you from your collar backwards.

You jumped the sudden touch but Kuroo hardly minded.  

“Well we go ahead. Solve this before the meal, thank you ~ “ Kuroo said and pulled you with him.

You would have protested but you had to focus on not falling on your back. Kuroo pulled you behind a corner but halted after a couple of steps. You stumbled on him and felt rather irritated about the way how he treated you just now.

“What the h- -?!”

Kuroo covered your mouth and pulled you inside a spare part supply that was situated next to the garage halls. There was one large door separating the supply from the garage halls, and the door happened to be half open. Kuroo brought his lips close your ear while he muffled your voice.

“I’m sorry about the way I acted, but those guys needed space.” Kuroo’s warm whisper tickled your ear. You turned to look at him in an asking manner, _and now you are going to eavesdrop on their conversation? How very considerate of you._ Kuroo grinned like he understood you. He put his free hand’s forefinger on his lips, telling you ‘ _shush_ ’, before letting you go. You took a step away from him and glared at him.

“What are you doing here?” Iwaizumi asked in angry voice.

Both of you flinched and turned towards the door but there was nobody. Tensed, both of you listened if he was coming to you, but then you could hear Oikawa sigh annoyedly.

“You sound like I wouldn’t be allowed to be here, Iwa-chan.”

They hadn’t heard you. Kuroo tapped your shoulder and nodded you to follow him as he moved closer to the half open door. You shook your head, but the man just nodded back while smiling slyly and waving for you to come closer. You wanted to strangle that man. _This isn’t wise,_ you thought, stressed, _I should leave before I hear something that isn’t meant for me to hear._

In the next room, Oikawa continued. “But the answer to your question: I am here to tell you something which, I personally think, is important since you still are my best friend. Of course, you can disagree, as you have done quite a lot lately! But I want to say it anyway.”

Even if Iwaizumi didn’t want to hear it you surely did. Kuroo noticed your hesitation and nodded you to come closer while smirking. You felt so pissed, but sneaked closer in the end.

“Why are you pulling me into this?” you whispered while frowning.

Kuroo’s smirk oozed satisfaction as you snuck closer. “Because I know you want to know what they’re going to talk about too. I’m just giving you an opportunity here.” _He hit the nail on the head_ , you thought, annoyed yet again how cunning this man could be. You leaned against the wall next to Kuroo who just couldn’t control his smirking anymore.

“Then spit it out,” Iwaizumi commanded. You could hear how irritation was growing in him through his voice. The way Iwaizumi had looked few days earlier, while withholding his rage, flashed through your mind. You just hoped that things wouldn’t escalate the same way as they did then. 

Oikawa took a deep breath, most likely to calm down. “I’m going to ask for their permission again.”

Iwaizumi fell dead silent while Matsukawa and Hanamaki groaned.

“Oikawa, just stop alre - -!” “Please, listen for o- -!”

“I won’t!” Oikawa interrupted. He sounded determined, though the frustration was surely building in him too. You knew that he looked for their acceptance, otherwise he wouldn’t persuade them. If Iwaizumi, Hanamaki and Matsukawa just agreed with him, Oikawa would quiet down, but this matter seemed to reach the level where even they couldn’t agree with him. “I won’t rest until that bastard Quantis spits out the truth. I won’t rest until he pays the price of the crime he committed!”

“GET OVER IT ALREADY! That case is closed!” Iwaizumi finally shouted, sounding desperate. Sand and little rocks rasped under his feet as walked around the hall. Before Oikawa could argue back he continued, “Listen! The Blood Brothers destroyed us because they had a perfect plan to do so! Oikawa, we weren’t unbeatable! No base could fight against that kind of outpower that came out of blue! NOBODY could!! Just when will you understand that!?”

“BUT IT SHOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED TO OUR BASE! Not _OUR_ base! We are High Court!!” By the sound you could tell that Oikawa was now storming around the garage too. You could hear Matsukawa try to calm the man down, but it was pointless, the Elite continued the shouting, “We got that name because there wasn’t supposed to be anyone above us! No one was supposed to get past our walls! No one was supposed to destroy us! So how in the hell did it happen?! If it wasn’t a miscalculation, then what was it?!”

Oikawa’s sharp voice echoed in the open space. The short silence that followed made you realize how hard your heart was beating; your ears were bounding. Had you held your breath? Kuroo listened quietly next to you. His smile had finally faded away.

“Why am I only one who wants to find out the truth!?”

“Of course we - -!” Hanamaki tried to say but Iwaizumi shouted over him.

“Of course we want to know it too!”

“Then why don’t you fight to find it?!” Oikawa shouted back as loudly.

“Because we have fought enough already!!! We **have fought**!” Iwaizumi shouted his head off. This made everyone in the room fall silent. Those words seemed to have deeper meaning than you knew. Iwaizumi huffed, and continued in beaten voice, “We did… we did the best we could do. We have done enough! Understand that, idiot…”

You could hear Iwaizumi turn on his heels and move further from Oikawa and the drivers.

“Don’t bother yourself with this matter anymore.”

Oikawa seemed to finally find his voice again. “But - -!”

“Please, Tooru!” Iwaizumi’s voice was so tired and broken. He was in pain. “Let it already be! _Please_..!”

Kuroo and you listened Iwaizumi leave the garages and walk past the outdoor of the spare part supply. The others remained silent a short moment before a mumbled talking started. Hanamaki and Matsukawa seemed to be the ones who talked but you couldn’t be sure if Oikawa was there to listen anymore.

A short moment later Kuroo shifted and pushed you gently. You blinked in confusion, you had fallen in your thoughts again. Kuroo nodded toward the outdoor and soon both of you left the supply. Kuroo led the way, moving carefully so you wouldn’t be spotted or heard until he decided that you were safe.

“Well that was something… No wonder Oikawa has act like a dick lately.” Kuroo sighed while you were walking toward the locker room where the equipment were kept.

You were buried in thoughts as you processed what you had just witnessed. Yet it was impossible to process everything without knowing one fact. “Oikawa said that he’s going to ask permission to do something. What did he mean?”

Kuroo glanced at you before scratching his neck, he felt troubled. He nodded towards the locker room and after you were inside, and he was sure that there was nobody else, Kuroo explained:

“By the sound of it, he is going to ask the Headquarters to reopen the case regarding High Court’s destruction and get permission to interrogate a certain Blood Brother, Quantis, who they believe is behind the attack that destroyed them. So far, they haven’t agreed. They fear that Oikawa is only going to threaten that man and stain Headquarters’ reputation as a revenge. Plus, two years ago the Headquarters came into conclusion that High Court made a grave miscalculation about the enemy’s strength and lost because of it.”

“…and Oikawa wants to cleanse High Court’s reputation.” You were starting to understand the situation. The subject far more complicated than you had thought at first. _It’s about honor._

Kuroo sighed as he put the equipment to their places. “Well, he was the captain of the base after all. Everything fell on his shoulders when his trainers and the commander stayed behind to fight some time for them. Oikawa is the highest ranked soldier who got out of that place and that’s why he believes that it’s his job to bring justice for his base. But the Headquarters are too stubborn to accept any other explanations so it’s quite impossible to change anything without supporting evidence.“

Your eyes widened as you listened to Kuroo. “W-Wait… you said that the commander…”

Kuroo nodded, grim. “The commander stayed behind and blew the base up. He shot the last missiles to the sky, and well you know the natural laws; what goes up must come down too. The enemy never got their weapons nor technology. It was a heroic act.”

You could see seven cloud pillars climb towards the sky before slowing down and turning back down. The blast that followed the explosion had been warm like a summer breeze but smelled like gunpowder.

“I s-see… then he really has his reason to fight…”

You felt awful. The situation in which Oikawa and others were in felt unbearable and unreal. Unfair.

“Yeah, but hey,” Kuroo placed his hand on your shoulder to get your full attention. His golden eyes were gentle on you and he smiled carefully. “This will not break their bond; they have been together too long and went through too many obstacles side by side to break now. Those guys are fighters.”

You gulped and forced yourself to nod. He ruffled your hair before moving to the door.

“So stop worrying about the matters that you can’t help! You aren’t involved in this for love or money!” He opened the door and held it open for you. He smiled in his familiar cunning way to you. “It’s admirable that you worry about them so openly though. Show me such sympathy in future too, okay ~ ?”

Your throat felt tight, but you forced an answer out as naturally as you could. “We’ll see about that…”

Kuroo smirked when you walked past him and said something crafty but you didn’t hear him. Your ears were ringing. White noise. Little did that black-haired Elite know how badly he had just messed up your head. Not with his flirting but with the things he had told you. By saying that you couldn’t help the matter.

It made you realize something.

You were more involved to this matter than you wanted. It felt unreal. _How much more fucked can my situation get?_ It seemed that those shadows you had left behind were following you closer than ever. You found everything that you had left behind a long time ago right from front of you, like you had walked a circle and now the circle was closing. Destiny was blocking escape routes from you; you were forced into certain direction and you really didn’t want to go there. Anywhere but there. You had to clench your teeth together so your chin wouldn’t tremble. _Why must this happen?_

All you could see were those seven cloud pillars creeping up the sky.

A memory.

 

* * *

 

 

Everybody noticed the negative change in you; you started to space out more and you couldn’t concentrate as efficiently as before. Yet whenever someone asked about it you got restless and said that it was nothing. You buried yourself with work but got hardly anything done. Takeda had even given you a short sick leave so you could have some rest. You had declined but got it anyway.

After learning the reason behind Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s ranting and raving, you had been having horrible flashbacks. You tried to push them aside, but they kept coming back; the explosions, the sound of sirens, blood, the pieces of metal, the cloud pillars… and when you weren’t having those flashbacks you were in deep thoughts while thinking if you should do something.

You _knew_ things.

The best option for you would be to keep quiet about the information you had and let the matter solve in its own sweet way, but it would be painful to watch. On the other hand, if you did meddle in this you might be able to help. Or you just make everything worse for them and especially yourself. It was a double-edged sword.

_What do I do?_

“Aren’t you on sick leave?”

You flinched and shot your eyes up towards the voice. Bokuto was sitting in front of you on the other side the table eating a peeled apple. He looked at you for a moment and tilted his head in confusion. You blinked before remembering where you were and why.

“Don’t creep in like that… and you aren’t allowed to eat in library, idiot,” you scolded. Bokuto showed the last of the apple in his mouth and glanced at the book between you and him. You sighed before lifting the book so Bokuto could see what you had been reading. It dealt with medicine and first aiding. “I’m just preparing my next lesson. That sick leave applies only on exercising, and the last time I checked, studying still wasn’t listed as exercising.”

Bokuto raised his eyebrow while he ate his mouth empty and wiped his hand on his shirt. “Really? Maybe you should just rest though.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because you weren’t reading that book, (Name).”

When you lifted your eyes again, you saw a worried frown on Bokuto’s face. He reached over the table and tapped the page that was open. “I arrived here a while ago and ever since then you haven’t even turned one single page. You’ve been staring at it this whole time.”

You stared at the man as he sat back down before glancing at the page only to notice that he was right. You hadn’t made any progress. _I didn’t hear him coming either…_ You took a deep breath and shut the book.

“Looks like I really should rest then.”

Bokuto watched you to take the book and put it on its place on the shelves. Even while walking your eyes seemed to look through the book shelves; your mind was obviously somewhere else. Bokuto gulped uneasily. “Hey, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong but does this have something to do with Oikawa or Iwaizumi… or both of them?”

You froze for a moment before turning to Bokuto again. _How did he know?_ you thought alerted.

Bokuto rubbed his neck. “You know… you seem to tense up whenever Oikawa or Iwaizumi comes near. I mean… you turn somehow restless around them and I was just wondering if the situation they currently have has something to do with it.”

You clenched your teeth together while processing what Bokuto had said. It felt bad to admit that he was right. Somehow you were afraid that Oikawa or Iwaizumi could see through you or hear your thoughts. _If he noticed it somebody other might have noticed it too._

Bokuto got more and more worried about you when you didn’t answer. He fidgeted while sitting at the table and looked at you like a puppy; he wanted to know but he didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable even though not knowing made him feel extremely frustrated. He was fighting to not to be too curious. Though with all the stress you were having, he managed make you feel warm. _Do I really need to hide it from him?,_ you asked yourself before sighing. _He’s not somebody who would spread my things around._ Bokuto Koutarou was honest but loyal, and you knew he respected you.

“You… you’re right… it’s bothering me,” you admitted as you leaned against a shelf and crossed your arms.

Bokuto’s eyes widened but before he could say anything you continued.

“That… unfortunate event... umm… it just stirs some bad memories in me. I don’t like to talk about them but there’s _things_ I probably should say aloud. I m-mean, I’d like to say something, but I just don’t believe that hearing those _things_ would solve anything. I might not be able to help either of them after all. My attempts might just backfire.”

Everything felt so complicated that it made you irritated. _I make no sense,_ you thought while rubbing your forehead. Bokuto wasn’t looking at you but made a concerned face. He rubbed his lips with his forefinger and thought. You were sure that he didn’t even have a clue about what you had just said since it hadn’t made sense to you either.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t - - “

“Don’t say anything.” Bokuto spoke over you and turned to look at you. He seemed serious but blunt.

“E-Eeh… huh?”

Bokuto blinked a couple of times. “If telling them makes you feel even slightly uncomfortable I think you shouldn’t say anything.” You stared at the man, confused. At first it felt like he made no sense but when you thought more about it, you realized that Bokuto made it just sound so simple and effortless. Bokuto saw your skeptical expression. “I mean, I wouldn’t! It’s just that those guys aren’t usual themselves right now. Both Oikawa and Iwaizumi are tired and sensitive, and they start raging _literally_ from anything! Maybe later on it would be better to approach them but now it’s a bit… tricky.”

When Bokuto got up, you just stared at him, exalted. He seemed so mature, you thought absently, impressed. Just a moment ago, you had been totally lost in haze and now he was making everything clearer in front of you. Bokuto was already changing the subject to the coming supper, but you needed to hear it.

You took a deep breath, “So what would you do?” Bokuto turned to look at you his eyebrow raised. “If you were me, what would you do?

Bokuto blinked and looked around while thinking his answer, “Mmm, I would wait. At least until they get over the matter and calm down a bit. It will be easier to have a chat with them then.”

You let his words sink in before smiling and breathing out. For some reason, you had held your breath. “I think you’re right…” You smiled weakly to Bokuto a small blush on your cheeks. “Thank you Bokuto! I already feel better about this.”

Seeing your smile made Bokuto’s heart go crazy and soon a blush appeared on his cheeks. “N-No problem!!” He bit his lips together, _oh god oh god oh god…_ his mind was going blank and he felt super embarrassed about the heat that was rising to his face. For once he had managed to impress you and now his reddening face was ruining everything. He pointed at the library’s door oddly while he walked backwards towards it. “S-Should we go?! Supper is soon and all and everyone’s are probably at the lounge and waiting for us a-and all that!”

His panicky state and stuttering amused you on some level. You wiped your nose as if it tickled just to hide your grin.

“Sure, lead the way…”

 

The good mood didn’t last long however. You could hear Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s arguing even before arriving to the scene. Their shouts echoed in the empty hallway; they were having another argument in the lounge. You and Bokuto glanced each other, troubled.

“I told you to SHUT UP!!” Iwaizumi shouted. You could hear Daichi and Kuroo’s commanding voices but Oikawa’s shouting blanketed them.

“HOW FUCKING NAÏVE CAN YOU BE, HAJIME!?”

Once you and Bokuto were at the door way where the hallway widened into the lounge, Bokuto suddenly stopped and placed his arm in front of you. Almost immediately after you collided into his arm, Oikawa crashed on the floor in front of you. He grunted, his cheek was red and small trickle of blood ran from his nostril. His brown eyes were furious.

Once Iwaizumi took a step towards Oikawa, you flinched. Were they really going to beat each other up? Was this the only solution left for them? Bokuto moved slightly closer to you while keeping his arm protectively in front of you. He had turned serious and observed the situation closely. Ready to act.

“I can take pretty much anything you throw at me but that I won’t tolerate! You can’t go _that low_!!” Iwaizumi spat the last words at the man on the ground in front of him.

Daichi moved to between Iwaizumi and Oikawa. His expression was severe, his own men were turning against each other and he could do nothing. It was their personal problem but even his tolerating had limits. When Iwaizumi instinctively tried to took another step towards the man on the ground, Daichi stopped him. Iwaizumi hardly noticed that, his green eyes were locked onto Oikawa’s brown eyes. Blazing. Furious.

“You don’t look for the culprit from our own men, fuck dammit!! That’s just TOO MUCH!”

Your heart dropped, _from own men?_ You stared at Oikawa in disbelief. He didn’t even try to correct himself and just glared at Iwaizumi. _He’s looking for… a mole?_

Your body shivered as your nightmares raised their ugly heads. _“The enemy knows, (Name),”_ they whispered into your ears. Their voices were sharp. Cold.

There was that same coldness in Oikawa’s eyes too.

It made your scars hurt.

“I don’t want to believe it either but that’s a possibility!” Blood ran down to Oikawa’s chin. He wiped his nose quickly on his black shirt’s sleeve without breaking the eye-contact. “You can’t deny it straightaway like that!!”

They hurt so bad.

You turned to look at Iwaizumi in agony. _Make him stop,_ you thought as panic was building inside you. Oikawa was making enemies that didn’t exist. He was destroying his own base by suspecting the men who stand beside him! _Right beside_ him!

“Of course I can!! You’re forgetting that we have lived with those men! We have fought together, we have argued and laughed, we have gone through so many things _with_ those men! We are _family_! **They would NEVER betray us!** ”

“ **BUT** **YOU CAN’T KNOW THAT, CAN YOU?!”**

Iwaizumi opened his mouth to shout something back but no words came out. He couldn’t argue against that, since a small part in him knew that he really couldn’t know. That what was hidden inside the other’s heads were totally their own information. He gritted his teeth and broke eye contact with Oikawa. There was a hint of doubt in his desperate eyes. Iwaizumi clearly didn’t want to question his men but he was getting worried.

From his green eyes, you could see yourself. Through those eyes, you could remember the agony of losing confidence in the people you cared so much about. For you it had only grew and grew until you were questioning the Headquarters too. The pain inside you was getting unbearable. _They’re making a mistake._ It had to stop. They were about to step on the field that would destroy them as individuals and as a team. Just like it had destroyed you. White noise was filling your ears.

_What do I do?_

”How did they know when to attack? How did they manage to destroy our reinforcements in the city in one go?! How all that could have happened if it wasn’t an information leak?!” Oikawa got up at the same time as he ranted. Iwaizumi was facing so many questions that his faith was weakening. There were no answers.

_It wasn’t like that,_ you knew.

Daichi felt helpless. He glanced around to get some back up but nobody knew what to do. Only then he noticed the state that you were in; you were ghostly pale, gripping your stomach with your both hands while trembling. There was terror in your eyes though you were staring past everyone. _(Name)?_

_That’s a mistake._

Oikawa took a step towards Iwaizumi which made everyone in the room tense. “It couldn’t be a miscalculation but a deception! Why don’t you see that?! We could have been **_deceived_** _by one of **our own** soldiers_!”

It was _too much._

“ **You weren’t deceived!** ”

Everyone got startled your sudden screaming. You were sweating and panting, in disarray. Your eyes followed shadows no one else saw. “It wasn’t a deception…! It… It was an intelligent design created with patience and hatred towards the Allies! They needed to take High Court down, so they could move more freely towards the west…!”

Bokuto glanced at you in shock. Sure, it shocked him that you had decided to say what was on your mind in the end, but to say it _right now_!? Your fragile state wasn’t helping his stress at all. That and the deadly aura that was growing in the room.

Daichi took a step towards you, _this is bad._ “(Surname), I don’t think now is a good time to - - ”

“Intelligent design?”

Oikawa turned at you, his eyes wide from confusion and anger. His glaring made you shiver, but you refused to give in under it. He was like a snarling predator looking for right time to sink its teeth into you.

“So, are you saying that we weren’t _intelligent enough_ to see it coming?”

_He’s becoming blind to it,_ you thought and gulped. “That’s not what I - - “

Once Oikawa took a step towards you, Bokuto moved completely between you two shielding you. You could feel Bokuto’s aura strengthen like saying ‘ _Not a single step closer, Oikawa._ ’ Oikawa stopped but never broke eye contact with you.

“ **You weren’t there, (Name)!!** Don’t just interfere into other people’s affairs when you have no clue what’s going on! You can’t just barge in like you know everything! Mind your own business and let us mind ours!!”

The men in the room grunted vexed; the way Oikawa spoke to you was just rude. Iwaizumi grimaced too, but not because you had interfered but because Oikawa was totally losing his temper. Daichi watched you press your head slightly down when Oikawa finally broke eye-contact with you and focused on Iwaizumi again. Sugawara was already getting up to come to your support.

_I knew he wouldn’t listen…_ you thought, gutted, _...but I can’t step back anymore._ You barged in this mess already two years ago, after all. You were part of it even before it happened.

You touched Bokuto’s arm gently and gave it a small push. Bokuto glanced at you confused and gave you room. You never rose your gaze from the floor when you took a deep breath and opened your mouth again.

“That d-day was a local holy day of the god that Aryleanese believe is giving water to the Earth. The priests of the city were blessing the lake of Zelz on the west coast. The streets… citizens decorated the streets with blue cloths and flowers. It… it rained at midday. Everyone took is as a sign from the god. Some even set off fireworks after the rain.”

You gave the men time to let this information hit in. The room remained silent; most of the men had no idea what you were trying to do but Oikawa and Iwaizumi stood still in shock. Oikawa was staring at you, his eyes and mouth open, but made no movement. No sound. Iwaizumi on the other hand managed to force his voice out first.

“H-How… how do you..?”

You glanced at the duo quickly; there was pain and sadness in your (e/c) eyes.

_I must say it._

“I… I was there… in Vwala, that day. I was looking for my way to you… to High Court. I met some of your soldiers who were having a break in this cafeteria in the western city and they promised to take me to the base when their shift ended. After that things started to… to go… wrong.”

Iwaizumi and Oikawa stood frozen in their places. Daichi knew that those men were only analyzing everything you were saying and would soon start to ask questions, and what Daichi knew too was how much you hated to answer questions. There was a chance that you would close in and nobody knew how those guys would react to that. The captain took a couple careful steps towards you. When your eyes met, he knew how stressed you were feeling.

“Hey, let’s all sit down so you can tell safely us what you know. Okay?”

You glanced at everyone before nodding carefully. Your nerves were getting you. _I can’t stop now,_ you thought when you moved to sit at the table with Daichi and Bokuto.   _I must keep going._ Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s eyes were still locked on you as they found sitting places where they could see you; Oikawa sat at the table with you, but Iwaizumi stayed at the sofas, leaning against one’s backrest. None of them said a word.

Bokuto by your side and Daichi on the opposite side of the table, you took a deep breath and continued your story.

 

_As you had been waiting for the High Court’s soldiers finish their break, you had noticed some Aryleanese man observing the same cafeteria. At first you though that he was observing you but soon it became clearer that he hadn’t even noticed you. He waited for somebody too. Patiently. In shadows._

_Something in the man’s eyes had given you creeps, he looked so satisfied. Mashur set his focus on the man too. Something had been off._

_Some children fussed around the military car that had been parked near the cafeteria. It was normal that children, especially small boys like them, paid more attention on armed vehicles so you hadn’t paid too much attention on them at first. But when the boys stopped their play short and ran to meet the man in the alley, something turned inside you. The Aryleanese man stroked their heads and gave each one two coins before driving them off playfully. Next he took a small blue notebook from his pocket and ruled out something while smiling._

_It made you feel extremely uneasy so you decided to follow the man. You didn’t want to risk anything. You were so close to being safe._

_When you finally cornered him with Mashur’s help, you requested him to show the notebook. He refused to do so while laughing, so you knew there were troubles ahead. Something serious. You knocked the man out without mercy and while he gasped for air, you took a look of his notebook._

_There was a short text in Velarian but the most of the first pages were full of license numbers. Some of them had been crossed and some ruled out._

_But every number had been checked._

_A scary scenario filled your head as you connected all those facts; the boys, the car, the payment, the notebook…_

_You had run faster than ever. Desperately. In fear._

_When you finally reached the street where the cafeteria was located, you heard the first explosion in the city in distance following screams. Soon distant but loud sound cut through air. An emergency siren. The alarm of the base._

_There had been an attack. Smoke pillars rose behind the city, near the forest line that was located close to the base._

_More explosions followed the first and soon you saw the soldiers of High Court rushing out from the cafeteria towards their car. They had gotten an order to move out, to defend their base. You ran towards them, trying to warn them but it was too late. The driver had already been starting the car._

_Once he started it…_

You flinched at the memory. Would you ever forget that moment? The explosion and the fire. The pieces of metal and flesh. Human pieces. Blood. The smell of burning clothes, hair and skin. The shock wave had pushed you and Mashur off your feet. Your ears had hurt so much. The cafeteria had half collapsed. The windows had blasted in. People had screamed and cried around you.

Your voice wavered as you explained the theory you had.

“The Blood Brothers had collected license numbers of the army vehicles that High Court used. They used… car bombs, probably self-made. The kids were taught to put them on correctly. They placed one in every car which license number was on the list and once the deed was done, all they needed to do was to activate them and cause a scene which forced every soldier to move at once.”

You could still feel the desperation that you had felt that day, it made you feel tired and sad, numb. You were so painfully aware how close you had been to save those men.

After recovering from the explosion, you had staggered your way to the roof of the nearest high building. From there you saw the attack against High Court. The Blood Brothers were everywhere, they must have been collecting men for the attack for long time. They had been overpowering. The base put up the fight, refusing to give up, but the masses of enemies had been too much for them.

At some point, you had seen the soldiers of High Court leave the base by helicopters, cars and other vehicles. Abandoning the base. Later the artillery had aimed up when the military area had been emptied and when everyone had been far enough.

There had been seven shots. Seven cloud pillars, making their way right up…

…and right down.

You could never forget how the Eastern Base of the Allied Guards, High Court, had been blown up. The blast had been warm and smelled like gunpowder. After that you had known that you needed to get out of the town, since the next thing the enemy would do was to make sure that there weren’t any survivors left. You hadn’t been wrong.

The Elites listened you till the end quietly, though you knew that a certain someone had to have hard time to do so. About in the half way of the story Oikawa had started to fidget and glance at the captain from time to time. You were feeling exhausted and dizzy. Remembering all that had been harder than you had thought. _What a mess…_ Though you had finished, the flashbacks refused to calm down. _Shh… stop._ You were remembering more than you wanted and it terrified you.

“That’s w-what I know… and my point is that don’t look for the culprit from your own team. It… it was the enemy’s plan, not a betrayal. I’m sure of it.”

Iwaizumi took a deep breath as relief washed over him. He believed in you and your story with all his heart. Oikawa was having troubles to accept anything. He needed more information. He needed to _know_ everything you knew.

“But you learned the enemy’s plans before us.” Oikawa said in severe way. When your eyes met, his expression turned grimmer. “If you knew that something odd was going on, _why did it still happen_?”

You grimaced little. “Did you listen to me at all? I tried to warn everyone, but I was _too_ late! I found it out _too_ late. I _couldn’t_ run _any_ faster!”

“But how did you find it out before us, (Name)?!” Oikawa hit his palms against the table. His eyes gleamed; there was so much confusion and frustration in them. “How were you so fixated to pay attention to a single man that acted a bit strangely? How you knew to expect something bad to happen? It makes no sense! How you knew?!”

You gulped, troubled.

“I was…” The flashbacks, the gun pointing at you and the coldness his eyes, made you flinch but you forced yourself to continue. “I w-was on a mission which didn’t go as we planned. I needed to get back to… to my b-base and the only way I could do so was getting to you. I was… _chased_. The plans failed around me all the time. I had to be alerted all the time in order to survive.”

Everyone felt chills as you told about this. You were admitting things that you didn’t want to show. Someone wanted to call it process but right now you were forced to answer. There were signs of terror and doubt in you. Hesitation. You were visibly trembling though you bravely fought it down. You had told more than you wanted to do.

Oikawa stared at you and after a short analyze, he shook his head slightly. “You are not telling us everything.”

You gulped, _you know I never do._ You glanced at Daichi to tell that you were having enough. _I won’t this time either._ Everything was getting so uncomfortable for you. Your heart wasn’t calming down and you could almost smell your past. _Shh._ The burning flesh and gunpowder. Daichi nodded, asmall gesture. Unfortunately, Oikawa noticed it; you were about to run.

He leaned in desperately.

“(Name)-chan please tell me everything! I know you are feeling uncomfortable with this subject but so am I! I really need to know everything! Please. Help me. T-There must be a file about your mission, right? With that information we could f-fix this!” His chocolate brown eyes showed despair and hidden hope. But there was something forced too. Too forced and shallow. “Please, (Name)-chan!”

You grimaced, _with that file you could destroy me too._ It was alerting how badly Oikawa wanted to fix his base’s reputation. He was so fixated to this matter that it scared you; it was almost intrusive. “I’m sorry but I’m not allowed to talk about that mission.”

Oikawa seemed to flinch little as you got up. _I don’t want to be here,_ you though as agony and panic build in you. You couldn’t think anything else in that moment. _I need to get out of here._ The shadows danced around you.

“You’re lying,” Oikawa spat coldly. He was getting angry all over again while you were getting exhausted. He thought that he had the upper hand. “It’s just because you don’t want to talk about it. Telling that you aren’t allowed to talk about it is just a lame excuse you use to run away from any situations that you don’t like!”

It pained you to hear; Oikawa’s daring words just proved how fixated he was to this matter. He needed time and help to get over it.

“Sure. Let’s think of it that way.”

You turned to leave the lounge, _my presence makes things only worse._

Oikawa was losing his hope and got up too to go after you. Bokuto and Daichi stopped him from going. He glared at them but could do nothing. Kuroo and Akaashi were stepping in too. Iwaizumi wanted to interfere but held himself back; he might only scare you more.

“(Name), I just want _justice_ for my team!”

This made you stop. _Who is giving lame excuses now?_ You turned to face the man and even though you still seemed upset there was a hint of anger in your eyes now too.

“Now you’re the one lying here, Oikawa. You just want to kill a man who is _already_ sentenced for life in prison.”

Oikawa’s eyes widened before sharpening again. _Oh yes, I did read up about your case,_ you thought. You knew exactly what was going on; Quantis, the man who Oikawa wanted so desperately pay the price of his crime, was already captive in a high security prison in Rosblian and sentenced for the rest of his life in prison for the other schemes he had done against the Allies. One more charge against him would be enough for a death sentence, and that was where Oikawa was aiming. To kill a man who would die in captivity anyway. 

Oikawa moved at you. Bokuto stopped him immediately but he really needed to use force to stop the man.

“IS IT WRONG?! Is it so wrong thing to wish for?! Like you or anybody else here would be any better! FUCK DAMMIT!! I bet you want that man, who slaughtered your whole team and tried to kill you, to drop dead too!!”

Twisting sharp pain shot through your body through your scar. Numbing you. You gasped for air. For a moment, you saw only stars in your vision and world swirled around you. Your nightmares were laughing in the back of your head. Your ears started to ring. _How…?,_ your mind was going blank, _How does he…?_

Daichi pulled Oikawa off angrily causing the man lose his balance and crash onto the floor. “That’s enough, Oikawa!!”

_“This didn’t need to happen, (Name)_ _.”_ No. _His_ voice was so grim. Desperate and sad. Your knees were giving in, and you wanted to throw up. _“Everything went so well! You ruined it!”_ No.

_Not you,_ you thought in panic.

“You can’t mix some fucking rumors with this, asshole!!” Kuroo scolded him while making sure with Akaashi that Iwaizumi wouldn’t lunge at the sniper. Iwaizumi had a vein popped up on his temple and his face was red from rage.

“TOORU!!!”

_Rumors…_ you thought confused, _they think those are…rumors._ There was short feeling of relief before the pulsating sharp pain reminded about itself. The pain was only growing. It was hard to breath. The air felt heavy. The world kept spinning around you.

_Calm down, calm down, calm down…_ you thought desperately while focusing on your breathing. _I need to get out of here and calm down._

You turned on your heels and opened your room door to let Mashur get out. The dog immediately dashed outside. Half of the fur on his neck was raised and he swirled around the hallway while observing the lounge. Alerted. He was growling quietly. The circumstance was stressing and threatening, and you were feeling bad which had a straight influence on Mashur. He was cautious. You made your way towards the outdoor, unsteadily.

“(Name)?” Daichi tried to follow you but after Mashur stopped and snarled at him, he stopped too. Mashur wasn’t letting anyone approach you. Not until you felt safe.

You turned around and almost lost your footing. Thanks to the wall you got enough support for not falling. After shushing Mashur and commanding him to your side you took a couple of steps backwards towards the door. Daichi took a step towards you but you shook your head.

“I need air.” Your voice was hoarse and trembling. “I can’t breathe. I need… _air_.” Your other hand was taking support from a wall while your other was digging it nails on your stomach. Your body trembled, and your breathing was discontinuous. Blood had drained the color of healthy red from your face.

Daichi gulped and nodded. “Do you need company?”

You shook your head.

You glanced at the lounge. Oikawa was still sitting on the floor but his expression was awful: he was staring at the floor at his feet with shocked expression. He was holding a hand over his mouth. Your sadness and shock were mixing with the anger you always held inside you. You didn’t even pity him right now.

“Give me five hours and I’ll have forgotten this,” you said before you turned to leave. Everyone was feeling uneasy and you knew it was mostly your fault. Nothing would get better until you left the scene. Mashur followed you tightly.

Daichi sighed, “We’ll talk about this later, okay?”

_Like I could stop you,_ you thought but decided just wave your hand as a sign you had hear him. He was already quite aware of your opinions about talking about these matters.

 

\- * - * - * - * - * - * - * -

 

Supper was already over and the time of silence was about to start when you arrived back to the barracks. You had walked around the base with Mashur until you had calmed down. As you stepped in the hallway which leaded to the lounge, you heard people talking. There was light on the lounge. Daichi and Iwaizumi were chatting quietly at the kitchen’s table.

Once they noticed your coming the both got up to meet you.

“(Surname) - - ” Daichi started but you silenced him by lifting your finger up while you opened your room’s door for Mashur.

“I still have three hours.” You looked at him severe way but there was a hint of playfulness in your eyes.

Daichi weighted your appearance and words carefully. He was almost sure that you weren’t feeling as well as you acted, but at least you weren’t running anymore. He sighed, a small smile on his lips. “Fine. I’ll have mercy on you for now.”

“Thank you, sir.” Next you turned your focus on Iwaizumi who was waiting patiently his turn to speak. He was about to speak, most likely to apologize, but you spoke over him. “Don’t even think about it, Iwaizumi.”

He quickly shut his mouth and blinked, confused. You had irritated expression on your face.

“You don’t apologize since you did nothing wrong. Neither will you apologize for Oikawa, since he will do it himself if he finds a reason to do so. I poked into your personal problems on my own.” Iwaizumi and Daichi stared at you, baffled. You sighed and let your expression to relent a bit. You had decided a long time ago that you wouldn’t apologize for your own decisions, and you wouldn’t apologize today either. You had done nothing wrong; you had tried to help after all. “Let this shit storm calm down so everyone can move on.”

Iwaizumi shook his head in agony. “If I don’t apologize about what happened, you will never get an apology. Oikawa is too proud to apologize to you for what he said even though he knows he hurt your feelings.”

You sighed. “Apology or no, I won’t blame him. Oikawa has justified reasons to rage and be angry, and I’m fine with them.”

You had already forgotten the anger that had flared towards him. While clearing your head, you had tried to understand him and made some progress. Staying angry wouldn’t solve anything. One of you had to move on, and since Oikawa had so many other things to solve out, the one making progress had to be you. And it started by letting go of that incident. 

“J-Just how can you accept his behavioral so easily?” Iwaizumi’s expression was sad and confused.

“Because we are now teammates…” you smiled weakly. It had occurred to you while walking with Mashur; whatever happens after this havoc, you would still be in the same team. “…and this too will pass by someday.”

Iwaizumi lost his words. Your words caused so many emotions to storm inside him, but through all those emotions he found a feeling of faith. He felt somehow glad. Daichi smiled in a calm manner and patted Iwaizumi’s shoulder. There was a hint of gratitude in his eyes when he looked at you as you slipped in your room to rest.

 

After you had finished the conversation with Iwaizumi and Daichi, you locked yourself in the bathroom. You felt empty. Emotionless even. Your mind was a mess. There was so, so much to think about but you found no strength to start solving your troubles. There was dilemma which demanded you to choose between truth and your own safety.

You washed your face with cold water before leaning against the sink. You looked at yourself from the mirror in front of you, two (e/c) orbs staring right into your eyes while water ran down your temple and nose.

His words echoed in your head, _“I bet you want that man, who slaughtered your whole team and tried to kill you, to drop dead too!!”_

You stared at your reflection’s eyes in a demanding way.

_What will you do?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and as always, thank you for you great support!!!! It makes me SO HAPPY that people have liked the series so far; it's incredible to think that my writing can make people excited! 
> 
> So just you know; I love you guys! > 3 <  
> Hopefully you liked the chapter! More is on their way ~


	17. From the ground they can only rise

During the next two days, you noticed a change in Oikawa. Instead of coming aggressively towards you, he started to avoid you and acted almost like you were somebody he barely knew. Still, he did make sure that you knew he was acting like that for a reason by glancing at you from time to time. Whenever your eyes would meet, he would frown and look the other way. Still, from the corner of your eye you could see that he watched you whenever you weren’t looking. Usually with a sad expression, sometimes in frustrated or angry manner.

You kept acting like nothing would have happened and continued your life as you always did. When there was something you needed to say to Oikawa, you said it. Without pressure. Without judging. You weren’t going to step in that radio silence; he could try to avoid you, but you would still be there.

It was Iwaizumi who had a hard time with stopping his judging though. After the first day of ignoring, he was totally vexed with Oikawa; totally fed up to the teeth with his behavior. You had to calm Iwaizumi down every so often.

“Let him be, Iwaizumi,” you kept telling him. “It’s okay.”

Even though Oikawa had finally stopped putting pressure on Iwaizumi about the matter of High Court, their relationship was still cold. Oikawa was willing to talk with Iwaizumi, but their conversation often escalated to arguing fast. On the second day after Oikawa’s outburst, the sniper shunned everybody and used most of his time re-examining all the missions that might have been linked with Vwala or High Court. He spent the most of his time in the library or by the computer, contacting various people.

Oikawa was just on the phone in the library when you were bringing him new training plans for the Rookies to accept. If the schedules felt uncomfortable for him, Oikawa could request changes.  The phone call Oikawa had was intense and took up all of his attention as you arrived. It was clear that Oikawa was asking for something the person on the other side of the line couldn’t carry out.

“Just- - ! No - - no, it’s simpler than you think.” Oikawa was walking around the room stressed. You could hear the person behind the line talk about the whatever-the-matter-was roundly. “But those won’t help at all! Listen, I just need to talk to that person who - -! Please - -! No no don’t - - !!”

The discussion stopped like it had met a wall. Oikawa gritted his teeth. “FUCK DAMN IT!!” Oikawa pressed the phone against his forehead and turned around. His eyes widened for a short moment when he saw you.

You gulped and offered the papers towards him. “I came here to bring you the training plans.”

Oikawa’s expression immediately turned sour and he took a small case, which he nowadays carried with himself, from the computer table. Iwaizumi told you that Oikawa had been collecting evidences and other useful files to add to that case the past two years. The sniper quickly clicked some window shut from the computer where he had been working before walking towards you. He looked dissatisfied.

“Kuroo wished to have a couple of changes but they shouldn’t affect your training shifts. Still, you should look through them and inform Sugawara if - - “

Oikawa snatched the papers from your hand and walked past you.

You took a deep breath.

“The changes must be informed of at the end of this week. Please be on time so there won’t be any extra work later.”

The sniper halted at the library’s door. He tilted his head slightly before saying in a slightly amused tone, “Extra work?” He turned at you. “What do you know about extra work, (Surname)? I have my hands _buried_ with _extra_ work already. This is nothing compared to the work I already have so no need to make it sound grievous.”

You observed him before nodding, “Yeah, you’re right. It’s nothing compared to that.” But when you turned towards Oikawa, your expression was severe. Sharp. “But don’t ever claim that I know nothing about extra work. That just, plainly put, twisting the truth.”

Oikawa’s expression turned scared and for a moment he seemed to want to apologize. He knew exactly that you worked just as hard as everyone and helped Takeda on top of everything. But the words were stuck in his throat and he shut his mouth. Soon he was glaring at you again, though you could see it took effort. He didn’t want to be on bad terms with you, but he wasn’t ready to solve things between you either.

“Sure. Whatever,” Oikawa grunted before leaving the library.

You watched his receding back until he turned behind a corner and vanished.

_Whatever I say, he gets upset_ , you thought, tired.

A sudden sound echoed in the room and snapped you out of your thoughts. A small dinging. Your focus turned immediately to the source of the sound, the computer, which Oikawa had been using before you interrupted his work. Some window was blinking in the lower panel of the screen. You sat at the computer and opened the window to the full screen. You sighed, _looks like he forgot to log out of his email_. The email that had just arrived dealt with another refusal of offering help from somebody. Or so you thought by the headline of the email; you didn’t dare to look through somebody else’s emails after all.

After logging out from Oikawa’s email, you noticed that there were more windows to shut. One by one you shut the pages; there was different news articles, different search systems for files and records, random pages… one of the pages was familiar to you. It was the Allied Guards’ own “home page” for their soldiers. It offered common knowledge about military and common missions, about multiple different trainings the soldiers could choose, and about the Allies’ system in its entirety. The appearance of the site had changed a bit from what you had last visited it… about four years ago? Five?

Every soldier who served the Allies had their own registration numbers and profiles in the system. To log in it needed their personal identification number, the last five numbers from the number sequence, which was located behind their personal dog-tags, AND a self-made password. Through the system soldiers could communicate with each other and with their superiors, they could attend on classes and trainings, there were news and tutorials… all in all there were many different functions in the system.

Yet you had a hunch that Oikawa hadn’t been on that page just to chat with his former teammates. Every mission you ever took part in during your service was registered automatically to the system, and if the missions _weren’t_ classed top secret, secret, confidential, or restricted/private anyone could search and read about them. If some mission was classified, only the people who were involved with the mission could read them with special personal passwords they had been given after the mission.

_He must have been looking for the soldiers who were in Vwala or close to it during the time of the attack_ , you concluded as you went over the page. It made you feel extremely troubled. Oikawa was doing everything he could to kill Quantis.

_“IS IT WRONG?! Is it such a wrong thing to wish for?!”_

You stared at the empty sign-up field on the top right of the home page. You clicked the first field but felt immediately uncomfortable. It felt like it was staring at you. You had avoided signing in to the system for so long time.

After one more glance you got up to leave. _I can’t do it. It would be too painful._

_“- - the Headquarters came to the conclusion that the base made a grave miscalculation of the enemy’s strength and lost because of it.”_

You halted.

_“Well, he was the captain of the base after all. Everything fell on his shoulders when his trainers and the commander stayed behind to fight time for others.”_

A sudden feeling of heaviness and dizziness forced you to slump back into the chair. _It’s too painful._

_“It was a heroic act.”_

You took a deep breath and turned your focus to the empty sign-up field again. It was still active, ready to write down anything you wanted. The numbers you knew by heart, every letter of your password.

_“ - - stop worrying about the matters that you can’t help with!”_

_“You aren’t involved in this for love or money!”_

_“You can’t just barge in like you know everything!”_

 

* * *

 

 

The closer the commemoration day of High Court’s destruction came, the more desperate Oikawa got. He spent less and less time with the others and pretty much locked himself in the library whenever he had the time to do so. By now he was running short of people who even could help him with the matter, and the Elites started to fear that Oikawa might contact the people from Headquarters next. That would be catastrophic, since the Headquarters had already troubles accepting Oikawa’s efforts, so demanding information from them would be the last step towards his self-destruction. Even though Oikawa still somehow managed to train Rookies and follow his duties, Daichi and Ukai were getting anxious; one trip might soon have severe consequences if Oikawa wouldn’t let himself rest. Yet Ukai forbit Daichi to give Oikawa time to rest, since he would only use that time to disturb others. Still Ukai didn’t let the sniper go to the battlefield. He considered it too risky since the Elite’s mind was wandering too much.

Oikawa was finally trying to bond with Iwaizumi again. You heard from Sugawara that they had had a normal conversation the other day. For you that wasn’t the case. Oikawa was still giving you the silent treatment.

“I feel bad for you, (Name)…” Suga sighed as you both made you way towards the main building. Sugawara was supposed to meet with the technicians while the commander had summoned you. Mashur was walking lazily in front of you two; he hardly ever left your side anymore.

You shook your head tiredly. “Stop that already.”

“No! This has been going on too long already! Yes, the commemoration day is within a week, but it doesn’t mean that Oikawa should keep treating you like that! It just too cruel!”

Ever since Oikawa’s outburst at you, Sugawara had tried to convince you to give him permission to talk to Oikawa for you. Sugawara wanted to even try to fix things between the two of you since neither of you seemed to have the will to do it. Though that wasn’t the case in your opinion; you thought it was better to wait patiently. One day everything would be fixed and forgotten. Just not today.

“Oikawa should just be satisfied that he at least knows what really happened in Vwala that day. Without you he would have started to question his own allies and who know what would’ve happened after that!”

Sugawara sighed again but deeper. He was really concerned about this. Though his caring was becoming a bit annoying, you had to admit it was heartwarming; Sugawara was only making sure that you wouldn’t feel abandoned.

“I appreciate that you feel concerned about my feelings but - - “

“ - - but you don’t mind this and you’re going to solve this with other methods...” Sugawara ended your sentence. He gave you the most adorable beaten face. “Right?”

You had to chuckle. “Right.”

He sighed yet again.

At the garages your ways parted. The morning was sunny, but now the weather was getting cloudy. No rain, though. _Maybe I should hold the training session outside today_ , you thought as you held the door open for Mashur before stepping in after him. You greeted a couple of soldiers who worked in the main building before making your way towards the commander’s room. At the commander’s door, you pressed the small buzzer next to it and waited for response. An orange light lit up as a sign to wait. Mashur sat next to your leg and yawned. You could hear mumbled talking through the door. Soon Mashur perked his ears up and tilted his head slightly while staring at the door in front of you.

_Looks like it’s our turn,_ you thought as you gently brushed Mashur’s perked ear and straightened your posture.

The door was flung open and Oikawa dashed into the hallway in a frustrated manner. When your eyes met, for a moment Oikawa looked surprised just like you but soon the already-quite-familiar scowl appeared on his beautiful face. There were dark circles under his eyes which made you wonder when was the last time that he had eaten well and slept the whole night. He saw your observing stare and turned his gaze away immediately. Oikawa didn’t stop to greet you in any way at all; he immediately marched past you, leaving the door open behind him. Your eyes followed him until he vanished from your sight.

Ukai saw everything from behind his desk and sighed.

“Daichi really wasn’t exaggerating when he told about your and Oikawa’s current situation. “

You smiled distantly as you stepped in with Mashur and shut the door behind you. Mashur went to immediately greet the commander, as if bribing the man to let him stay by your side in the future too. You usually left Mashur to wait outside, but you knew that in your current situation it would only cause havoc if you did. Ukai petted the dog and glanced at you.

“Do you know why he was here?”

You shook your head, tired, but smiled a bit. Mashur came back to you and sat next to you, while Ukai straightened himself on his chair.

“He solicited my approval to go over some missions which are highly classified. Such as yours.” Ukai observed you to see your reaction but there was hardly any – you had had a hunch about this. Your expression turned only a bit sadder. “The permission wasn’t granted, just you know.”

You nodded. “I guessed that much, sir. I believe Oikawa has sent the application of retrial for the case considering the destruction of High Court, too.”

“He sure has!” Ukai gave a short laugh and shook his head before lifting two fingers up, “Twice already, actually! The first one already came back with weak results and the seconds should return within two days. I’ve _told_ him that the Headquarters doesn’t change their mind without a reliable evidence no matter how many times he sends that application but he doesn’t listen.”

There was a hint of anger in Ukai’s tone. It made you feel uncomfortable.

“He has his reasons, sir. I believe Oikawa is persistent because he honestly just wants to get over this matter and move on… and, well, unfortunately the culprit’s imprisonment isn’t enough for him.”

Ukai listened to your closely and kept staring at you when you had finished your address.

“Just why are you supporting him?”

You turned your focus fully on the commander. The gleam in his eyes told you that he was closing in on the topic which he wanted to talk about with you; he was closing in on the target, circling around it, and you knew what he was looking for. Your heart started beating faster and you gulped.

“He’s my teammate, the same as the others.”

“Well, he’s treating you in quite an unmanly way and working behind your back, but you still think generously of him. I don’t mean to sound harsh when I say this but knowing you this feels suspicious.” Ukai let his words sink in. He took an envelope from a locked drawer and pulled a bundle of papers out of it. He glanced at you and lifted them up for you to see the front page: a permission form for citing information of highly classified mission. “I received a message that you have given the investigators permission to use the information of your previous mission for the case of High Court’s destruction. Is this correct?”

Your heart was bounding. The name of your mission was written boldly to the front page: ‘Dragonfly’.

“Yes, sir. It’s correct.”

Ukai nodded while looking a bit uneasy. There was a silence. At last Ukai leaned against the table, bringing himself a bit closer to you, and spoke.

“Please, be honest with me now, (Surname). Has Oikawa put pressure on you to allow this?”

 “Wh- -? No, sir! This was my own decision!” you answered, shocked.

He looked in your eyes for a moment before shaking his head a little.

“I’m sorry (Name), but this feels too unnatural to me. So far you haven’t wanted to tell anything about your history and now suddenly you suddenly allow people, who you don’t even know, to dig into your files. That case is keeping in highly classified information!”

“Sir, I understand that this feels absurd to you since I feel quite uncertain about this too, but I know this is right thing to do _in my opinion_. Only mine!” You took a couple of short steps closer towards Ukai. Your voice was almost a whisper, almost if you were afraid that the walls had ears and they were listening to you. “I’m… very aware that the information that I’m handling is classified since it… it was me who demanded that the case should be hidden and forgotten. For my own wellbeing.”

Your voice dried out and you had to swallow. Ukai could see that you weren’t completely sure about this but you sounded honest. The anxiety in your eyes was real.

“I want to emphasize that the investigators are allowed only to look into the certain evidences and information, sir. The case is number 126 – 858895DF, and the needed information is found from the tape that is stored with the files. It has been rated to be plausible and it’s a part of the official exploratory material of the case. The needed part is… erm, about 5 minutes and 36 seconds long, but I think it’s better for them to use the paper version. It’s more understandable, that’s all. There should also be a small notebook in the evidences which the investigators should look into, but only the first five pages.”

Your lip was trembling when you finished. Your eyes were looking through the floor and your face was pale. This wasn’t an easy task to do for you, Ukai knew, but you had still done it. The commander could only admire your strength and devotion. _Looks like I own Daichi a drink._ Ukai sighed and turned the first blank form open in front of him. He took a ballpoint pen from his pocket and started to fill the form with your name and other needed information.

“If you are sure about this, I have no reasons to stop you. Since your case deals with sensitive material, we need to fill this form together. I need to be 110% sure that this really is what you want. This application goes nowhere if I don’t sign it, do you understand?”

You took a deep breath, “I understand, sir.”

Ukai filled in the form for a short while before turning to you again. “Please assure me that you aren’t being forced to do this. Your uneasiness is really troubling me.”

“Sir, this decision of mine is based completely on my own ideologies and not anybody else’s.” You brushed Mashur’s ear before continuing. “I have tried to forget this mission for over a year and have avoided this subject even longer. It makes me uneasy to… to remember. I… I don’t have any happy memories from this mission.”

Ukai observed you a short moment before nodding, “I believe you…” After lighting some tobacco, Ukai nodded towards you. “Please take a seat. We need to finish this before noon so these forms can leave towards the capital today.”

As you lifted a chair to yourself, you noticed Ukai to press a small device on his table and red light lit on the device. _He’s not letting anyone interrupt us_ , you knew. If there was anybody behind the door waiting their turn, that turn wouldn’t come until you were ready.

There was no stepping back anymore.

 

* * *

 

 

Mashur ran beside you. His ears were fully perked up and twitches he listened to the surroundings, yet whenever you commanded anything his focus was only on you. He kept a watch on your every movement. Focused. You pointed forward.

“Over!”

Mashur ran towards a high obstacle and jumped over it. There were multiple different agility obstacles on the gravel pitch; contact obstacles, tunnels, jumps, weave poles… still the dog focused only the ones you were pointing at. You had taken two hours free from duties to train Mashur’s agility. One round you had used just the whistle but now you started to be out of breath that it was easier just to shout the commands.

“Again! Over!” Mashur jumper over the next obstacle too. “Good boy! Tunnel!”

Mashur dived into a long curvy tunnel. His speed made the whole tunnel sway, but soon the dog exited the tunnel and followed you towards the next the tail swinging. The sun was shining brightly and the day was already feeling quite warm. It was perfect weather to train your and Mashur’s endurance.

Akaashi was writing his report of his previous mission in the shadow next to the gravel pitch. Every so often he followed your and Mashur’s training. Matsukawa and Kuroo were sitting in the shadow with him but were fully focused on you. They had been on a mission with some Rookies previously and were waiting for the other Elites’ trainings to end so the day could move on.

“Where does she pull that energy?” Matsukawa wondered aloud as Mashur started to zig-zag weave poles with you right beside him. You had been running around almost an hour already with a few short breaks but showed no sign of stopping.

Kuroo grinned. “Maybe she was born during a thunderstorm or something.”

Matsukawa shook his head but smiled; though it was far-fetched explanation he wanted to believe it. “More like during a category three hurricane, I bet.”

“Phah, true!”

“Pause!!” you suddenly shouted and Mashur stopped on his tracks. For a moment the dog seemed puzzled before remembering what pause meant. Quickly Mashur went down and pressed his head down. Still his eyes were sparkling as he looked up at you; he was ready to get going if you just ordered so. After a short moment of silence, you smiled and patted your thigh. “Free! Good boy!”

Mashur started to fuss around you and encouraged you to play with him. For a moment, you excited him by jumping and dashing towards him before pulling a tennis ball from your pocket. The dog went crazy the moment he saw the ball. You threw it to the other end of the gravel pitch and Mashur went after it immediately leaving only a could of dust in the air.

Kuroo laughed and clapped his hands. “Woohoo! Great job!”

Your attention turned on the men on the side and you made your way there. Sweat slid down your temple and neck, and you were huffing. Only now you realized how hot the sun felt. Mashur brought the ball to your and you threw it again for him. Akaashi got up and offered you his water bottle.

“Mashur looked really magnificent.”

You smirked a bit as you opened the bottle, “Just him? Hm?”

Akaashi lost his words for a moment before smiling tenderly, maybe a bit shyly. Kuroo smiled cunningly while Matsukawa felt just awkward.

“You are always looking gorgeous, (Surname)-san, it should go without saying.”

You almost choked on the water after hearing that. It was Akaashi’s turn to smirk though his smirking was polite and gentle. Mashur arrived back and dropped the ball on the ground next you. His tail was out of control by now; he had so much energy left that you were afraid that you were only one trying to endure this test. Once again you threw the ball as far as you could and Mashur dashed after it. You wiped the sweat from your forehead with your shirt offhanded. The sudden reveal of belly and bare skin made the men around you blush and cough awkwardly, though you didn’t pay attention on it. Mashur was already coming back.

“What are you guys up to next?”

The men glanced at each other. Akaashi was the first one to answer. “W-Well, I need to take this report to the accountancy and after the dinner I need to plan my next lecture.”

Matsukawa reacted to this. “Hey, you can just give that report to me since I’m going there anyway. I’m actually waiting for Makki arrive back with the mail, and there’s always something for the accountancy.”

“Ah, thank you,” Akaashi said surprised and offered the report papers to the driver.

“Wait, with the mail?” Kuroo raised his eyebrow confused. “Didn’t we get mail yesterday too? The mail is supposed to arrive here every three to four days.”

Matsukawa shrugged his shoulders.

“There may be some urgent letters that can’t wait that long. Makki informed me in the morning that there’s quite a lot mail moving now, not only to his base but to all the other bases too.”

“Hm, quite odd. You would think that if it was something important it would be broadcasted first,” Kuroo wondered. Mashur arrived back again but dropped the ball further away and walked to your side. He sniffed your hand and whined quietly. You were feeling uneasy.

Akaashi noticed Mashur’s reaction and got worried.

“(Surname)-san? Are you feeling unwell?”

Matsukawa and Kuroo turned their attention on you. There was worried gleam in their eyes; you looked a bit pale and your eyes were restless as if something had scared you.

“A-Aa, I think I got a bit d-dehydrated.” You smiled, weakly, before wiping your forehead with your hand. IT trembled slightly. “I’m feeling a bit dizzy, that’s all.”

Kuroo got up and came to you. “Then you better finish this training for today. I’ll help you to clear off these obstacles.” Akaashi nodded in agreement as he got up too.

“T-Thank you,” you said, unsure.

Matsukawa got up and brushed the gravel from his trousers.

“I’ll help too if you don’t mi- -“ Suddenly everyone could hear a beeping noise. Matsukawa reached his phone and read the message, “Ah, sorry. Makki just informed that he’s almost here.”

Akaashi nodded. “Don’t mind, you have to focus on your job. We’ll manage together.”

“I’m waiting for my letter ~ “ Kuroo teased a smirk on his lips.

Matsukawa nodded a bit awkwardly and apologized once again before leaving. Your eyes followed his receding back, _it’s really happening._ You had waited for this to happen already yesterday, but apparently there had been a delay.

“(Nameee)… where do we put these?” Kuroo interrupted your worrying by lifting the tunnel obstacles while moving towards the warehouse where everything was stored. Akaashi was already taking down and collecting the jumps.

“Aa… j-just a minute, I’ll show you!”

_I have done my best for them_ , you thought as you cleared the gravel pitch with Kuroo and Akaashi. You were just hoping you had done enough and wishing there wouldn’t be any more shit-storms and hard feelings ahead.

Just a bit more peace.

 

-

 

“You should stop already.”

“…are you seriously still at it? Believe me when I tell this for the last time: _I_ _will not_.”

“Seriously, you’ll only lose your mental health with this!”

“Just like you wouldn’t have called me insane many times before, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa pouted and glanced quickly at the man beside him, before turning back at the computer. Only their voices echoed in the library. “You’re always so mean…”

Iwaizumi refrained himself from getting upset. They had managed to rebuild their relationship close to normal though it had needed enormously patience from them both. Though Iwaizumi had been quite sure that everything would get fixed with time too, he had decided to try fix this quickly. For you. He couldn’t stomach Oikawa’s behavior towards you. Things hadn’t improved much, but he was sure that after the commemoration day passes Oikawa will allow himself to calm down about this matter. Maybe then he could see you as a friend again.

“But there’s nothing to do anymore!” Iwaizumi glanced at the list where his friend had written every person’s name he had contacted during the past week. Just to make sure that he wouldn’t bother them too much. The list was long and messy, there were easily over two hundred names: soldiers from different bases and ranks, military policemen and policewomen, reporters, other authorities… “I understand that the commemoration day is making you feel pressured, but I don’t believe that this can be solved in such a short time.”

Oikawa sighed quickly, which disruptively sounded like a short laugh. “I don’t think two years is short time to solve this, Iwa-chan!”

“That’s not what I meant!” Iwaizumi felt so incredibly frustrated. “I’m telling you that we should focus on different things.”

“Such as?”

“Such as organizing a memorial ceremony for High Court. We should come together with our former teammates, light candles or something, and reminisce our base and those who were lost that day without hard feelings.” Oikawa had stopped working on the computer though he didn’t face Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi sighed deep. “We should… try to make the commemoration day a bit easier, a bit more _bearable_... instead of trying to fill your bloodlust.”

Oikawa sat in silence. For a moment both of them could only hear quiet ticking of the clock in the room before Oikawa’s sigh broke the silence. He faced Iwaizumi a tired but sad smile on his lips. Iwaizumi could already guess his answer and sighed a long, dissatisfied sigh before the brunet even spoke.

“I’m truly sorry, but that isn’t enough for me. I can’t let go of this matter just like that… not yet.”

“But some day, right?”

Oikawa smiled, but only to be polite, and turned his focus on the computer again without answering. He had been looking for somebody who could have known something. Anything. There weren’t any more leads, so he was picking up soldiers randomly and checked their missions. He opened yet a new profile, checked the missions, wrote up the search words for ‘Vwala’, ‘High Court’ and ‘Quantis’, and moved to the next profile if (and when) nothing was found. He had been doing this for two days now. It was futile, but at least he tried.

“I know there is not much hope left, Iwa-chan. I’ve looked through _literally_ almost everything and I have run out of the leads. But… if I don’t keep searching there will never be answers. There’s nobody left to do the searching. I know that the answer is out there, _somewhere_ , I just need to keep looking and maybe someday I will - - “

Without warning the library’s door flung open with a loud bang and two figures dashed in. Iwaizumi and Oikawa instinctively jumped up and were ready for action, but as soon as they realized who the comers were, they halted. Matsukawa and Hanamaki were out of their breath and looked almost as shocked as the Elites.

“O-Oh, you two gave me a shock!” Oikawa breathed out aghast.

“F…finally… we found you… guys!!” Matsukawa huffed as he took support from his legs.

Iwaizumi was already moving to them. Something felt off. “What’s going on? Why were you looking for us?”

Oikawa gulped. “Has something happened?”

Though Hanamaki was out of breath he forced himself to move and speak again. He offered three envelopes towards Iwaizumi.

“Th…these… arrived today. The… the commander told me to… to pick them up from the capital this morning.” He took a deep breath and swallowed laboriously. Hanamaki locked his eyes with Oikawa’s brown ones and smiled in disbelief. “You need to read this, captain!”

Oikawa felt chills and marched quickly to the driver and took the envelopes. One of the envelopes was meant for Iwaizumi and two for him. One of his letters was much thicker than the other and Oikawa attacked it first while Iwaizumi took his own envelope. They glanced each other nervously before starting to read the letters. Iwaizumi was first one to react. He let out a huff which sounded like a laugh, but a smile appeared on his lips only late. Soon he laughed again but this time his expression had turned almost sad. Relieved. He pressed his forehead with his hand and shook his head.

“No fucking way…”

Oikawa managed to read the first page before he remembered to breathe again.

The stack of paper in his hands included research results and short list of the evidences that were used. The application that he had sent had went through and the case had been reopened with new evidence. With the new evidences, the investigators were finally convinced that the destruction of High Court wasn’t the result of miscalculation but the enemy’s systematic attack against the base. The charges of the convict, Quantis, were changed from the life in prison to the death penalty since now it could be proven that there had been a long term plan behind the attack and the felony that it had caused.

Oikawa glanced at Hanamaki and Matsukawa his eyes wide open before gulping and reading the first page again. By now Hanamaki and Matsukawa’s eyes were getting wet.

“Do you get it? Oikawa… you did it. Idiot, you did it!!”

_I don’t understand,_ Oikawa shook his head.

He ripped the thinner envelope open and pulled the paper out with one sharp move. It was an invitation from the Headquarters. They were inviting the soldiers who had served in High Court to witness the death penalty to come into effect after three days. Quantis would be executed on the commemoration day of the High Court’s destruction in the capital, Rosbelian. The letter apologized for the delay of justice’s fulfilment, and the Headquarters promised take care of all arrangements needed as an apology. The letter had been sent automatically to those who had served in the base of High Court, and the Headquarters were making sure that every invited soldier would have that day off till the next morning for celebration.

_How..?_

Iwaizumi captured Oikawa in a bear hug and didn’t even try to hold his tears down anymore. “Damn you, Tooru! You actually managed to convince them! You big idiot, y did it!!”

Hanamaki and Matsukawa joined the bear hug and laughed together while sobbing.

“Every former soldier of High Court got that letter today! Everyone will be there!”

“They promised even arrange everyone their uniforms back if needed! J-Just unbelievable! How did you do it?!”

Oikawa was frozen; he couldn’t understand what was happening. The men were ruffling his hair and patting his back, and he felt lost. It was unreal. “B-But how?”

Iwaizumi pulled away but held his shoulders firmly. His eyes were red, and he had a wide smile on his lips. “You dare to ask how?! Oikawa, you did your _everything_! You found the right people to support you! That’s how!”

Oikawa shook his head in disbelief, “But I… I didn’t find anyone.” Oikawa glanced his eyes wide open at Matsukawa and Hanamaki. It made no sense. He was super happy, and tears stung behind his eyes, but he wasn’t confident enough to cry. Those papers in his hands felt unreal. He shook his head again. “Everyone… they turned me down!”

He walked to the computer and lifted the paper where he had listed everyone who he had asked for help. He read it quickly through and offered it to Matsukawa.

“It can’t be anyone of them! They turned me down openly!”

Matsukawa started to read the list. His first impression was a shock; he had known that Oikawa had contacted a lot of people, but this amount was insane. Oikawa was feeling lost inside his head. All sudden everything had solved out. He would get his justice… but why was he feeling so troubled. Bad even. The problem had been solved, and he got all the gratitude for that, but he didn’t even know the answer himself. Hanamaki and Iwaizumi could see his struggling and came to his aid.

“Hey check out the research list! There must be a list of evidences and their sources!”

Oikawa immediately picked the paper which had a short list of the evidences. All the evidence that had been sent and collected to the investigators were listed; eyewitnesses, documents, videos, tapes… They were listed in chronological order. Oikawa’s finger moved quickly through the list to the last line; it had been added only a couple of days ago.

“It reads ‘ _126 – 858895DF, document and notebook_ ’, ” Oikawa whispered. He had no memory of it.

“What else?” Hanamaki asked in tensed manner.

Oikawa shook his head again and looked even behind the paper. “There… there’s nothing else. No name, no ID, not even base. Nothing.”

Hanamaki took the paper from Oikawa’s hand and studied it closely. Meanwhile Oikawa went through the other papers while Iwaizumi tried to help him. They were desperate and got page after page they got even more desperate; nothing told about that file anything. Even though the other evidence had short explanations about them, that one had nothing. Hanamaki looked through the paper as Oikawa and Iwaizumi went through them and sighed.

“Well, if there’s nothing to be found it just means they’re trying to protect the stakeholders. The Headquarters are really secretive about what becomes classified information after all.”

Iwaizumi and Oikawa halted at the same time. _Classified information._

_Hang on…_

Matsukawa finished looking through the list and felt quite troubled. There was a question in his mind but it was about still quite sensitive matter.

“Umm…  Oikawa, please don’t flip a lid now, but didn’t you ask (Surname) to help you too? Her name isn’t on this list.”

Oikawa froze after hearing your name. _(Surname)?_ Iwaizumi glanced at his brown-haired friend, troubled, before walking to Matsukawa who showed him the list. He was right; your name was missing. When Iwaizumi turned to look the sniper, he felt his stomach drop through the floor. Oikawa’s chocolate brown eyes showed pure terror and anxiety. They were now wet from tears and looking through the floor. He looked pale and he was breathing fast, panicking. Almost like he was hyperventilating.

Oikawa’s chest felt tight, his heart felt broken and his head felt mess. _Oh god…_

Iwaizumi rushed to him and Hanamaki and Matsukawa dropped the papers on the table to support the brunet. He was obviously having a panic attack, which wasn’t new but sudden; Oikawa had suffered from them after the destruction of High Court, but everyone thought that they were in the past already.

“O-Oikawa?” 

“Buddy, you need to calm down. Take deep breaths.”

_Oh god...!_

Without warning Oikawa collected all the files he had gotten with the mail and dashed towards the door. _(Name)…_ All he could think of you, how he had acted in front of you, how he had hurt you. All he could see was your shaking expression and trembling state. And yet… and yet you had supported him. He was sure of it, it had been you, hadn’t it? The only person who had helped and supported him was the one he had avoided almost two weeks, the one who he had hurt the most.

_(Name)-chan!_

 

-

 

The lounge was bubblier than ever. After the dinner Daichi had asked Ennoshita and Asahi to come and check their devices’ functionality since during the latest mission there had been major problems with communication. Tsukishima had confirmed that the problem hadn’t arisen from connections; the problem had to be in the devices and so the responsibility to find the problem rested on the technician’s shoulders.

Kenma was also there to help if needed, though he looked like he had been forced to come; he was sitting on the sofa, surrounded by Kuroo and Bokuto, and his expression was anything else but comfortable. With those two together nobody really could feel comfortable. Ennoshita and Asahi sat at the kitchen table with Daichi while Sugawara observed the working from the side. The TV was playing on the background. Regardless of all the hustle, Akaashi was fully focused on planning the coming lecture at the sofas.

Meanwhile you were sitting, legs crossed, on the floor on the kitchen’s side. Mashur sat in the front of you while facing you. You held his paw up so you could file his nails, tenderly and carefully. Mashur hardly minded that you were fingering his sensitive paws; you had made this procedure quite familiar to him. His back legs had been a bit more complicated job to do but you were satisfied with the results.

Well, the results were as good as you could manage right now; your mind was wandering. _It’s taking longer than I expected…_ you thought.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi had eaten dinner before you. Once you and the others had stepped in the canteen, Oikawa had quickly finished his meal and left without giving a word to you. Yet another protest, you knew. Iwaizumi had followed him once he had apologized everyone for him. Again. Nothing had changed.

_Maybe they didn’t get it…?_

After the dinner while passing through the yard towards the barracks with everyone, you had spotted Hanamaki and Matsukawa sorting the mail in the garages. They had had puzzled expressions as they had divided the mail for the Rookies and the others. Everything was falling into place.

_No… they definitely figured it out._

As you moved to Mashur’s other front paw, you sighed deep. The sigh came out a bit louder than you noticed, and soon Daichi turned his focus on you.

“Is everything okay?” he asked tenderly.

Though there was a certain alertness in your (e/c) orbs, your face was reflecting exhaustion. It was almost like you had accepted something to happen though you weren’t excited about it.

You glanced Daichi over Mashur’s huge body. Somehow seeing him made you feel a bit more relaxed. _Always worrying about me._

“I d-don’t know. Maybe.”

Was everything okay? You felt a bit empty; there wasn’t really anything to feel. Those who had heard you turned, a bit confused. Had you just answered honestly that you felt unsure? That was rare. Mashur’s ears turned a bit towards the hallway. You immediately focused on his reactions. Soon he turned his head a bit towards the same direction and sniffed quietly. It wasn’t huge gesture… but you knew exactly what was coming. Nervousness made your heart rate quicken and you felt uncomfortable.

“Could you guys… stay close? Just in case.”

Daichi blinked a couple of times, confused, and turned on the kitchen chair so he was fully facing you. You were biting your lower lip and trying to focus on Mashur’s nails again, embarrassed that you had said that aloud. Daichi could see that your hands were shaking.

“O-Of course, we’ll stay right here, but (Surname) could you tell what’s happening?” Even Kuroo and Bokuto were focusing on you now, they were sensing that something was off too. Everyone’s eyes were on you eager to know what would settle you off like that.

An unsure smile paid a visit on your lips before you whispered, “I don’t know. I really don’t.”

Daichi frowned a bit and Sugawara was already about to take part in the conversation when a loud noise in a short distance grabbed everyone’s attention. The hallway’s outdoor had been slammed open and someone was catching his breath at the door. A familiar shout cut through the air and echoed in the empty hallway.

“Is she t-there?!” Oikawa sounded almost alerted, desperate. He was in hurry. “(Name)! Is she there?!”

Everyone glanced at you quickly; your expression was telling them that this didn’t come as a surprise for you. The man who had given you the cold treatment was now looking for you, and no one in the lounge knew if it was a good thing or a bad thing. You nodded to Daichi and got up.

Daichi gulped. “Y-Yeah, she’s here!”

Once the answer was given you could hear rapid footsteps moving closer. You sat close to Daichi, your side facing towards the hallway. Mashur squeezed to sit between your legs and leaned his body against the chair. His ears were perked up and his snout was directed towards the hallway, but he remained calm. You stroked his head gently, trying to stay calm too.

Oikawa dashed in the lounge area.

“(Name)!?”

He was so in disarray that it took him a couple of seconds to locate you from the lounge full of people. Once he did, he halted as his eyes locked on you. When you faced him and your eyes met, Oikawa looked like he would have gotten slapped to his face by unseen force.

He was in shock. Disbelief.

“(Name)…” Oikawa walked towards you but stopped. The atmosphere had turned tensed in the room. Oikawa had so many question in his mind that he had to rack his brains over what he should ask first. It felt devastating. There was no answer. Only questions. “(Name)… it was… it was you, wasn’t it?”

He took a step towards you again. Had you always looked that gentle? He didn’t remember your face to be so dainty. It felt like he hadn’t seen you properly for so long time. He wanted to see you better. He didn’t care about the thing you knew and he didn’t anymore, he just wanted to _know_ you.

Bokuto was getting a bit alerted and got up from sofa. His voice came out deep and quiet like growling. Kuroo was ready to grab Bokuto if needed, while Kenma tried to vanish in the cushions of the sofa.

The door at the hallway was flung open again; Iwaizumi, Hanamaki and Matsukawa rushed in the lounge too. There was a gleam of shock in their eyes, but they were much calmer that Oikawa. They surrounded Oikawa and looked at you. Iwaizumi expression relented a bit when your eyes met.

“(Name)..! Y-You..!” His chin’s trembling forced him to shut up.

You sighed and smiled, exhausted from all the excitement, “Hey, guys…”

Your smile made Oikawa’s stomach tickle. He bit his lips sealed and rushed closer to you. He had to see you. When Bokuto was about to block the sniper’s way, Iwaizumi stopped him. His reddening eyes were saying ‘ _this is something that shouldn’t be interrupted_ ’. You didn’t show any signs of fright either so Bokuto let Oikawa approach you but stayed close. There were just two meters’ apart when Oikawa stopped. Mashur seemed to make him even more stressed, and the canine had his eyes locked on him. He still remembered what he had caused to you. You snapped your fingers gently and pointed towards Iwaizumi. Mashur glanced at you and after a short moment of hesitation, he finally moved, but unwillingly, out of your way to Iwaizumi.

“(Name) - -,“ Oikawa started after the dog had went past him but hesitated his words again. What was he supposed to say? Where could he start?  “The Headquarters - - ! You - - ! Did you… did you give them permission to - - ? It was you, wasn’t it?”

From the corner of your eye you could see Iwaizumi passing some paper to the others. _The letter_ , you knew. Everyone eyed it through, their expressions turning from confusion to shock and joy. Oikawa was squeezing a stack of different papers in his fist. After a short glance at them, you finally got your answer. _The application went through…_

Oikawa was getting desperate. “Please tell me…!”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

“Yeah… it was me,” you answered and opened your eyes and locked them to Oikawa’s brown ones. Yours were honest and tender while his looked fragile. “That final evidence is from… my mission. I gave them permission to check up on it.”

The men in the room gasped. “You gave them - - ?” “(Surname)?!” “Wait, you did what?”

At first Oikawa’s eyes widened but soon he shut them tightly. He staggered backwards until his back met the wall of the kitchen and he slid onto the floor. For a moment, you felt an urge to help him, but you knew better. Oikawa’s chin was trembling as if he was holding back his tears.

“B-But… W-Why..?” He shook his head and placed his hand over his nose and mouth. “I don’t understand… why would you after I…?”

Iwaizumi moved closer to you, absently, his eyes were wide open and wetting a bit. He had to take support from the kitchen table. Though he had somehow known that you had helped Oikawa, it felt unbelievable. Why would you go this far for them? Daichi touched your shoulder tenderly and got up to give Iwaizumi a space to sit. The captain didn’t go too far though, he had promised to stay close to you after all. Iwaizumi sat next to you in a ridiculously careful way while gazing at you. Mashur sat next to Iwaizumi as if giving him support. You could hear the drivers move a bit closer too but they kept their distance. The others were listening quietly, only the TV was playing in the background.

You breathed in and rubbed your hands a bit anxiously, “’Why?’, you ask me…”

The tone in your voice was mellow but there was a hint of sadness in it. Oikawa’s chocolate brown orbs yarned for information, but you could tell that he was afraid.

“I’d like to tell you that I did this to support you because you are my teammates. I’d like to tell you that... that I wanted to do it or… that I just wanted you guys to feel better. Oh, I wish I could tell you that I just wanted you to get the justice you so yearned for.” Oikawa stared at you his eyes wide open. You quickly glanced through the room to get prepared for the truth. Most of the men in the room had worried expressions on their faces, but that was only understandable. You smiled a bit weakly, “Unfortunately, the reason for this wasn’t near as sweet as those…”

You could hear Oikawa breath in sharply. You hadn’t wanted to do it nor you hadn’t done it to support them. Even Iwaizumi tensed next to you. You hadn’t noticed that Asahi and Ennoshita had gotten up and Hanamaki and Matsukawa were sitting at the kitchen table instead. When your eyes met with the men behind you, you could see only pain and confusion in them.

A melancholic smile appeared on your lips which made the men eyes dwell up.

“I don’t know much about any of you. I don’t know anything about you as a team, as the men of High Court. I have no idea how you solve desperate situations. I have absolutely no idea what was on your mind on that day two years ago but… but _I know_ how it feels to take an order which puts an end to something good and dear.”

_“The enemy knows, (Name)…”_ A familiar but already so distant voice reminded you, “ _You need to leave at once. It’s an order, (Name)! AT ONCE!”_ Weren’t you all supposed to die together? _“You’ll remain, do you hear me? I order you to.”_ For the strength of the Pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the Pack. So why you had to go through it all alone?

The men of High Court flinched; they remembered. They too had their demons. Whisperers in the shadows. Their hands were pressed in tight fists; Hanamaki, Iwaizumi and Matsukawa were biting their lips and they looked almost angry. Pained and pale. Only Oikawa was staring at you a frightened expression on his face, observing; you were squeezing your stomach again and you were looking through the floor. You really knew how it felt. You understood them.

“I know how paralyzing it feels but… once in action you will _not_ stop. I don’t know if you felt the same but the fact you are right here means that you didn’t stop either. You followed the orders, you did your best, and I believe there is no one who could have done it better than you.”

Your voice got more and more emphatic as you spoke. You took a deep breath again and stood up so you could see all four of them. Your expression was hurt and tired, but gentle. Forgiving. It was getting overwhelming for the men. Your words were torturing them; it was painful to hear but also so soothing.

“I may know nothing about you, not about your struggles nor your feelings, nothing. But… I can say without hesitation that _you fought well_!”

That was the last drop. The four men couldn’t bear it anymore and all of them burst into tears. Openly and heartbroken. The fact you had accidently and without knowing used the last words that their late commander had told them, made your words affect them even more deeply. _“Boys, you fought well. Now go already,”_ he had told them. Seeing Iwaizumi and Oikawa sob, made your chest feel tight and a lump to rise in your throat. Your chin trembled as you continued.

“You have fought enough! If I would be in charge of you, would it be your commander, trainer or captain, - - “, you glanced at Oikawa who was sobbing and gazing at you like you would have been the only thing that made sense right now. You smiled and nodded, “ - - I would be proud of you and I would wish you to be proud of yourselves too. So… keep moving forward already…”

Oikawa hid his mouth in his hands and wailed. By now the others were trying to support the men too. Kuroo and Bokuto had gotten up and were already patting Iwaizumi’s back while Sugawara was supporting Matsukawa and Hanamaki. Akaashi was already getting water for everyone with Ennoshita while Kenma and Asahi observed the situation a bit awkwardly from the side.

Daichi patted Oikawa’s shoulder and soon the man started to calm down a bit. He tried to talk through his sobbing, but it turned out to be a bit hard. “(Name)… you… I’m so sorry… (Name)-chan. I’m… please don’t… please don’t hate…”

_He called me (Name)-chan_ … You shushed him and kneeled in front of him. “The silent treatment isn’t enough to make me hate anyone, idiot…” Next you flicked his forehead as hard as you could, and but Oikawa was too shocked to react to it. “There, you are forgiven.”

You rubbed the spot which you had flicked with your thumb and grinned a bit. Oikawa chuckled as he remembered; the last time you had rubbed his forehead like that was when you had thrown the cracker box at him. Back then he had messed up and made you angry, and you had forgiven him.

Oikawa took tender hold of your hand and pressed it against his forehead, “Thank you, (Name)-chan… thank you…”

You could see tears roll down his cheeks again as his lips made a thin but sad line. You stroked his soft and curly brown-hair tenderly, “Don’t mind. Try to calm down a bit… I think you guys need to meet your teammates from the Rookies before the supper. They need you.” You glanced over your shoulder and smiled to Iwaizumi and the drivers. “All of you.”

The three men nodded but it was Iwaizumi who answered for them.

“R-Roger!”

It took a while for the men finally calm down and get mentally ready to face their underlings. It was a bit hard for Iwaizumi to accept that he had to face the Rookies with his eyes red from crying, but fortunately Hanamaki and Matsukawa’s sense of humor had already somewhat returned and they managed to joke Iwaizumi’s worrying away. While waiting for the men to calm down, Daichi and the others read the papers which Oikawa and Iwaizumi had brought. Oikawa refused to leave your side until he just had to go. He didn’t say anything to you, just gazed at you for the past two weeks that he had wasted.

In the late evening, after meeting the Rookies, he came back to the lounge exhausted, but with a tiny happy gleam in his chocolate brown eyes. He sat by your side and whispered that little word to you again;

“(Name)-chan.”

“Hm? What is it?”

He chuckled little. “Ah, nothing really…“

He looked at your unimpressed expression with a warm smile on his lips before rubbing ticklish feeling of his neck.

”…I just wanted to say your name.”

 

* * *

 

 

The commemoration day arrived and the men of the former base of High Court headed towards the capital. The execution of the Blood Brother commander, Quantis, was to be held in the evening. The trial would start at the midday but Oikawa with his team needed to be in Rosbelian before that. Even though the Headquarters had promised to arrange everything, Oikawa’s presence was highly needed. He had been the one working on this matter, so it was important that he was the first one the soldiers saw after arriving.

The soldiers needed to leave the base of Crow’s Nest at the break of dawn to arrive the capital on time. Since majority of High Court’s soldiers served in Crow’s Nest, the Elites were there to help with needed arrangements; such as loading the vehicles, checking up that everything worked and that everyone was in attendance. The Headquarters had provided the base free day since Crow’s Nest would be undermanned for a day. Soon the military vehicles were loaded and almost everybody were in.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi walked to you and the other Elites. There was melancholy in their eyes.

“Well… looks like we’re going now,” Oikawa sighed and glanced at the vehicles behind them.

“Are you dying or something?” Bokuto chuckled.

Kuroo gave a laugh too. “Yeah, that sounded almost like you wouldn’t be coming back!”

“Eehh… if you would have notified us about this sooner we could have arranged farewell party for you,” Sugawara pouted before a smirk appeared on his lips. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes before smiling.

Oikawa got troubled by this. “I d-didn’t mean it like that!”

“Yeah right,” Kuroo snorted while Bokuto and Sugawara booed sneeringly. Oikawa started to redden. After having enough of bullying Oikawa, Kuroo waved it off and offered his fist for a fist bump. “You’ll be good. Don’t let that bastard enjoy this even for a moment.”

Kuroo’s sudden seriousness surprised Oikawa, but soon he answered to the man’s fist bump. They even shook their hands after that.

“Yes, thank you, Kuroo.”

You stayed at the background when everyone shook hands with Oikawa and Iwaizumi in their turns. They gave some advices and comments, which made Oikawa relax manifestly. You noticed, that Iwaizumi was observing Oikawa non-stop. It made you happy, _together you’ll overcome it_.

When it was your turn to see them off, you moved closer. Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s expressions changed critically; they seemed more fragile and sad but still calmer and somehow tender. They squirmed and didn’t know where to look at, neither of them even wanted to approach you.

You grimaced, playfully.

“Seriously, what’s up with those expressions? This is the moment you have been waiting on, but now you look like a gust of wind could push you over!”

The men blinked in confusion and started to redden. You smirked.

“Straighten your backs, shoulders back, arms to the side!” The men followed your orders and finally they looked like proper soldiers. The smirk on your lips melted into a gentle smile as you gave them the last order. “Just remember to keep your chins up.”

Hearty expressions took over their pretty faces and they saluted, “Roger!”

The men laughed around you. Oikawa and Iwaizumi allowed themselves to relax though they kept their postures straight. The duo stared at you, gentle smiles on their lips. They really had needed this.

“I truly wish that you can finally get your revenge and can finally let go of this matter.” Your expression turned a bit more severe and you dared to point at the men. “I expect you to come back as changed men, okay?”

Oikawa and Iwaizumi gave a small laugh.

“Pfha… sure.” “Got it!”

 

You and the other Elites watched as the men of High Court drove off. As the cars started to vanish behind the first hills in the distance, Kuroo stepped closer to you. His eyes never left the receding cars, but he spoke to you.

“So… what really made you change your mind? You never told them the truth.”

You glanced at him with everyone else. You had hoped that no one would notice that you had dodged the question back then, but on the other hand, you weren’t surprised that Kuroo noticed it nevertheless. By the curious looks of the other Elites, they had noticed it too. Kuroo just happened to be ruthless enough to broach the subject.

“They don’t need to know it.”

“And why is that?”

You glanced at Kuroo and sighed. _I guess I don’t need to hide it._ “Because as much as I hate to admit it, Oikawa was right. If I would have been in their situation I would have wanted that man dead too.”

You watched as the last car vanished behind the hill. The rising sun had colored the sky gentle orange. _I would have wanted to kill him a thousand times to get rid of him so there wouldn’t be even memory left of him,_ you thought bitterly, but never said it aloud. Still your grim expression hinted to everybody that some dark thoughts had crossed your mind, and they could only guess what it had been.

“He was right, and he doesn’t need to know it. We are talking about Oikawa after all,” you smiled, and there was no sight of any dark thoughts on your face anymore. Kuroo looked at you, quiet. You walked towards the barracks again and flexed your arms. “Let’s start the day, shall we?”

Everyone nodded, quietly, and followed you. The day was about to become long one.

 

 

-

 

High Court was in the news that day. The event was considered huge nationwide since the Headquarters of the Allied Guards hardly admitted major misapprehensions. Everybody knew about the base of High Court and its periods from its building till its destruction. After the destruction of the base High Court had been topic worldwide and everyone had wished for it to win the case, but after the Headquarters hadn’t gotten enough evidences the case had been closed. Many had been disappointed with the resolution but there hadn’t been anything to be done.

Until you stepped in the pictures.

Many different medias were in Rosbelian to document this historical event and the trial was to be broadcasted. Since the broadcasting was staring in the midday, Ukai had freed everybody from their duties so they could follow the trial.

Everyone; which included Ennoshita’s team wholly, the communication team, Hinata and Kageyama; were in the lounge where the broadcast was projected from computer to the wall, so everyone could see it. Only while watching the broadcast you understood, how huge thing this was and how many soldiers were influenced.

After the decision that High Court wouldn’t be rebuilt, the soldiers of the base had been allowed to keep their suits and gears if they wanted. From the broadcast, you could see that everyone had taken good care of their suits. The courtroom absolutely shined with purity; the room was full of soldiers wearing pure white shirts with turquoise decorations, and bluish-gray camouflage pants and black shoes. Hanamaki and Matsukawa were in the front row. Their expressions were bright but stern. Proud. Everybody in the lounge could feel chills while watching them – those men had waited for this. Every man in that room had gotten the invitation and responded.

Soon their fight for justice would be over and they could finally rest.

“There they come…,” Ennoshita whispered in awe as the doors of the courtroom opened and two familiar men stepped in.

The moment you saw them took your breath away.

“D-Damn showoffs,” Bokuto breathed away in frustrated manner. The most of the men in the room grunted in agreement. They were almost embarrassed; there was hardly times when men could make them blush. Tanaka, Yamamoto and Nishinoya looked like they were seriously questioning their sexualities. They even turned their heads away for a moment, so their hearts and minds could get some rest.

Sugawara gulped as lifted his hand on his mouth, “It’s so weird to see them dressed in pure white uniforms. Not that they look bad… or anything.”

The room agreed again with grunts and nods.

You couldn’t take your eyes off the duo; Oikawa was wearing a white uniform jacket which had golden buttons and turquoise detail in the front, in the sleeves and on the shoulders. Long turquoise stripes decorated his white straight pants. The sigil of the High Court, a golden crown surrounded two turquoise branches with fresh leaves on the white background, gleamed over his heart. Under the sigil shined all his medals in neat line. Iwaizumi came right two steps behind him in the same uniform, but his shirt had short sleeves, which only accentuated his muscular arms. The turquoise details made his eyes seem brighter green. Even Iwaizumi had his medals on view.

Somehow your heart had started to pound faster.

The men made their way through the aisle to the middle of the courtroom to the front. As they walked past, the soldiers, their former underlings, glanced at them in awe and tears in their eyes. Some of them hadn’t seen their former captain and vice-captain for almost two years. Soon every one of them saluted. It was emotional to see them wearing the bases clothes again. The men saluted while biting their lips sealed.

After Oikawa and Iwaizumi were at their places in the front, the jury of the Headquarters and the judge walked in from the side doors and took their places at the front. The five of the jury, four men and one woman, placed themselves around the judge naturally. The jury was known as the Five since their identities were hidden from the public, but you knew them – you had met them before after all. You stared at the woman in the middle of the room. _The Lady._ She looked now older than when you had last time met her. You hadn’t like her from the start; there was something wicked in her and her motherly, knowing smile.

It didn’t long for the last needed person to be called to the courtroom.

A man around his fifties was walked in in handcuffs and leg irons by two guards. _Quantis._ He was wearing dark-gray prison uniform and white shoes. He had short brown hair which had started to turn gray from the sides. He had shaved his face and looked clean. The hall remained silent as the convict was escorted to the middle of the courtroom and tied down. The guards remained close to him a bit behind him and soon the legal action started.

It was clear without saying how much the soldiers despised Quantis; everybody glared at him the whole trial but the Blood Brother barely felt the glares or couldn’t just care less. Occasionally he gave Oikawa and Iwaizumi amused looks but the Elites didn’t react to it. But all of you knew, they were boiling from the inside even though their faces were stern and composed.

The Five readout the prosecutions against Quantis before stating the evidences. It was finally stated aloud, in the worldwide broadcast, that Quantis had planned the attack against High Court. All the former beliefs of High Court’s miscalculation were denied with the new evidence that the Headquarters had gotten a while ago, which revealed the master plan which proved that High Court couldn’t have miscalculate attack that well planned. The source of these evidence was kept hidden. It was told that some other Blood Brother prisoners had verified this information in hopes to avoid execution.

Through the whole trial the soldiers of High Court never started whispering or exchanged looks with each other. They sat still, listened, and waited. They glared at Quantis while glancing at their captains. Oikawa and Iwaizumi just sat still proudly. Waiting.

“[ - - _therefore the convict, Quantis, will pay for these crimes with his life by electrocution, which takes its place today evening_ ,]” the judge read from the paper. After placing that paper on the table, he glanced at the Quantis who just smiled a bit mockingly. “[ _Is there anything you want to say about this?_ ]”

Quantis spat and grimaced, “[ _Just get on with it._ ]”

The judge raised his eyebrows though his expression hardly changed.

“[ _So be it. The trial is officially ended._ ]”

He hit the gavel two times and everybody were granted to rise.

Quantis was moved immediately somewhere through the side door, and the soldiers flooded out from the courtroom. Oikawa and Iwaizumi stayed in the courtroom for a moment longer to hear out the judge and the Five before moving out too. Only after the courtroom’s doors were shut behind him, Oikawa allowed himself to smile and show a victory sign. This immediately caused the soldiers dash at him and soon laugher and sobbing filled the hallway.

The men in the lounge joined in the cheering by whistling and applauding.

The execution wouldn’t be broadcasted the broadcast ended and everyone needed to go back to their duties. The Rookies were split in two team; the first team started training with Daichi, Sugawara and Akaashi and the second team started with Kuroo and Bokuto. At some point the teams would change.

While Sugawara and Akaashi trained the Rookies about different firearms and how to use them, Kuroo and Bokuto had something extreme in their mind - they wanted to test the Rookies teamwork; the Rookies were grouped into four smaller teams and placed to different corners of the base. From those positions, they needed to move to new positions given by the Elites. Every Rookie had an armband and collecting the other the armbands of the other team gave them points. To make things even more interesting Kuroo and Bokuto had decided that the Rookies had only rubber blades as their weapon; this way the Rookies needed to use their hand to hand combat training skills.

The other Elites thought that this was a horrible idea since the risk for accidents was high; the Rookies couldn’t be supervised since they could move freely, they couldn’t be controlled, and Kuroo and Bokuto had even given them rubber blades. That was a recipe for disaster. Still the duo decided to go for it anyway.

“Swear to all the higher beings that you’re taking responsibility for all the madness that will occur,” Daichi said while feeling anxious; he could already smell trouble. This was something that had never been tried before so he couldn’t immediately object it, but over the years as captain he could already say this wouldn’t end well.

“Pff, you stress way too much about this, Captain!” Kuroo smirked while Bokuto laughed beside him. They were excited like they would have invented something revolutionary; their golden eyes glimmered and they exuded confidence.

“What could go wrong?”

What indeed…

What a glorious day it was for you to be in charge of the health care and first aid since Dr. Takeda had to be elsewhere till next morning. The injured Rookies started to flood in after twenty minutes of the start of the Bokuto and Kuroo’s training. The most of the injuries were minor sprains, scratches, bloody noses and black eyes, but there was a bit more severe ones among the injuries; one Rookie had actually broken a rib after falling on the rubber blade, the other had dislocated shoulder, the third had dislocated wrist, there were cases of a bit deeper cuts that needed stitches…

You were patching the soldiers up over dinnertime; the more the soldiers came in, the more pissed off you were getting. The last of your patients didn’t dare to say anything unnecessary; you were oozing a murderous aura and the smile on your lips was obviously forced. Dr. Takeda had left you tasks to do and thanks to Kuroo and Bokuto, you hadn’t managed to do anything.

After a quick meal, you marched to the lounge, pissed. Daichi had forced the men to write a report of their training session and describe everything that had went wrong and why. They needed to analyze everything so it wouldn’t ever happen again. The moment the duo noticed you, they turned pale.

You smiled to them in a poisonous manner while crossing your arms. “ ‘What could go wrong?’ Hm? There were 38 patients at the clinic today while I was working alone, and only two of them were not Rookies. How is that possible, hm? I thought nothing could go wrong!”

Kuroo and Bokuto didn’t even try to explain anything and just dropped on their knees and pressed their foreheads against the floor.

“ **We are deeply sorry!!** ”

It didn’t help. For the next twenty-four minutes, they had to listen your ranting and raving about how much equipment you had needed to waste for those soldiers, and how you were now behind your working schedules. The men just listened frozen from fear while bowing on the floor. When you finally had roared your voice out, you marched back to the clinic to finish the tasks that Takeda had given you.

Kuroo and Bokuto didn’t dare to get up until Akaashi pointed out that you had left.

 

-

 

Around the time of the supper, Oikawa contacted Daichi via phone to inform about the day and how the evening would proceed. Daichi put him on loudspeaker since everyone was there.

“[ _I apologize for calling this late. We reunited with our team and we’re heading to the city… it’s been quite a time since we last time met like this. Not that I would have missed these weeping boys!_ ]”

You could hear some soldiers’ complaining before laughing started. There were many people around Oikawa and occasionally you could hear Iwaizumi shushing the soldiers around them. _Ah… they are together even now,_ you thought. Their laughing made you feel warm.

Daichi laughed too, clearly happy for them. “Pfha! I never told you to contact us in the first place but I’m glad to hear about you! It’s good to know that you are all together there.”

“So, what’s going to happen next?” Kuroo asked.

“[ _Mm… the convict will have his last meal and after that… well you know… but we will head next towards the main cathedral since there is still time._ ]” You could hear from Oikawa’s voice that he felt a bit anxious about it. The men around him had silenced too. “[ _We um… we’ll pray for those who aren’t here today to see the justice happen… to give us support. They… they definitely should see this_. ]”

Iwaizumi sighed deep, “[ _Commander would love to be here today…_ ]”

You could hear many sighs and a couple of sobs after what Iwaizumi had said. Quiet murmurs filled the line for a short moment, they agreed. Though the men were in high mood to finally get justice for their team, the mood was heavy. It was Sugawara who broke the silence first.

“You commander will definitely be there! I’m sure of it!”

Bokuto nodded and smirked. “Yeah! He will be in the forefront! I’m quite sure that your commander makes sure that that murderer dies twice today; in front of you and in afterlife too!”

Daichi and the others snickered a bit. You could hear some random laughs and shouts of hoorays coming through the line and you could tell that Oikawa was already smiling.

Kuroo laughed. “Phaha, he’ll get one _hell of_ a beating!”

Some of the soldiers laughed and even Iwaizumi gave a laugh. Iwaizumi leaned closer the phone. “[ _Heh… yeah. Knowing our Commander that criminal will have rough times in front of him!_ ]”

The soldiers started to laugh and joke around loudly. Oikawa gave a short laugh but after a short silence, answered totally off the topic.

“[ _Hey… is (Name)-chan there?_ ]”

You raised your eyebrow, confused. “Yeah, I’m here. What’s up?”

“[ _Ah nothing really, you are just awfully quiet_. ]”

“I have nothing to say, that’s all.”

“[ _Well, tell me how your day was! Rough?_ ]”

You glanced at Bokuto and Kuroo, annoyed. “More or less, yes. One certain duo made it hard to focus on my work.”

“[ _Hm? I would have never thought that you would feel that uneasy for us._ ]”

“I didn’t mean you guys, dumbass. Unfortunately, you aren’t the only ones causing troubles for me in this base.” The men around Oikawa snickered and some started to tease Oikawa. Apparently, no one dared to start bullying Iwaizumi. Bokuto and Kuroo were quietly moving a bit further from you and you squinted your eyes at them. “But anyway. Me? Uneasy for you? I don’t have any reasons to believe that you would start weeping or throwing up there, so I don’t feel slightest worry about you.”

Oikawa was quiet a short moment before chuckling at the same time with Iwaizumi. They had apparently waited something deeper.

“[ _No need to worry, huh? I fear that I may laugh during the death penalty._ ]”

“That would only fit into your twisted nature.”

“[ _(Name)-chan, you are horrible!!_ ]” Everybody was now laughing head on, which forced you to smile too.

“Yeah, I know,” you said a smile on your lips before turning a bit more severe. Though you hadn’t experiences anything like this before you felt like there was something you needed to tell them. An advice from the experience. “Just… just don’t break the eye contact with him. Watch him till the end.” _See the life leave that body and forget him. Get peace. Move forward._

The line stayed quiet for a moment. The men around you glanced at you a bit troubled but soon Oikawa answered. His voice had changed; it was more serious yet understanding.

“[ _Thank you, (Name)-chan_. ]”

_He was going to be all right_ , you knew it instantly you heard him say that.

 

-

 

After the supper and the evening formalities, Oikawa called Daichi again.

“[ _It’s done._ ]”

Daichi nodded on the phone while you, Akaashi and Bokuto were just brushing your teeth. Kuroo and Sugawara had already gone to sleep. Somehow hearing Oikawa say those words made your mouth feel filthy again.

“Do you want a day-off so you can be with your team?”

“[ _Nah... unlike us, they aren’t high in rank and therefore some of them must be back at their bases for tomorrow morning. Actually our Rookies and the others already wants to leave so - -_ ]”

Suddenly somebody called Oikawa’s name and you could hear him to push the phone to someone. Iwaizumi finished the sentence for him.

“[ _We will be back to Crow’s Nest around midnight. Don’t mind about us. See you in the morning._ ]”

Iwaizumi’s voice lured Mashur out of your room and accompany you in the lounge. He looked around a bit but soon laid next to the dining table and sighed.

“Okay, see you in the morning then. Welcome home.”

The line went down as quickly as the call had come. Daichi sighed and put the phone away.

“Well, that settles that matter.” Mashur yawned at his feet, and he yawned after Mashur. He patted the dog’s head and wiped his eyes a bit. “I’m glad he said it first. I should go to sleep now. See you guys in the morning.”

 “Sure, good night.” “Good night.”

You finished brushing your teeth and sat at the kitchen table. Dr. Takeda would be back tomorrow morning and you still had a couple of things unfinished. Since you weren’t too tired, you decided to finish them now. You got your papers from your room and settled yourself at the kitchen table, Mashur right beside you, sleeping soundly.

“You are still going to finish those?” Bokuto asked. Once he saw your expression he regretted even asking about it. “S-Sorry. I’ll be going now. Good night. Sorry.”

“Good night, sleep tight ~ , “ you sang in an ominous manner, which made the hair in Bokuto’s neck raise and his body shiver. _How tight she wants me to sleep??_ Bokuto thought, distressed, as he slipped in their room quietly.

Akaashi sighed a tired smile on his lips. “Please don’t tease them too much, (Surname)-san. I’ll be the one who need to listen their whining later.”

You snorted, amused. “Just to remind you: they totally deserved this! But well, once I get these done I won’t tease them about this as much, I promise!”

“Thank you,” Akaashi smiled and yawned. “I must go to rest. Please don’t exhaust yourself with work, (Surname)-san. I’ll help at any time you need.”

“Thank you Akaashi, I’ll write that down,” you smiled as you arranged the papers on the table. “Sleep well.”

“You too,” Akaashi nodded and went after Bokuto.

Once the door clicked shut you focused on the files in front of you. _So, first I need to rearrange them and then mark the results…,_ you thought and started to write. Mashur yawned loudly next to you again, but since you weren’t moving anywhere he let himself to fall asleep. It was pitch black outside but the moon lighted the forest a bit. You had opened the window slightly and you could feel a cool breeze move in the room.

For a couple of hours all you could hear was the clock on the wall, Mashur’s steady breathing, and quiet noises that your pen made as you wrote. You started to feel tired, but you didn’t feel like you could rest yet. At some point, you could hear distant banging sounds; the car doors were shut. Though Mashur didn’t get up, you could see his ears perk up and turn as he tried to identify the direction from where the sounds came from. _They are home…_ Somewhere at the other end of the barracks the door opened; the air moved in the room and window creaked a bit more open. A bit later you could hear footsteps closing from the hallway.

 “Huh? The lights are on?” Oikawa whispered as they made their way towards the lounge.

Iwaizumi huffed, “I told them not to mind about us…”

Mashur rushed immediately to greet the men half way but you kept writing. Since the door of your room was open, they peeked in, but it was dark and empty. They stepped in the lounge and once they saw you they stopped. When you had finished the sentence, you turned to face the men. Somehow it felt like you wouldn’t have seen them for a long time; they looked a bit older than you remembered, somehow tired and fragile.

They looked at you confused; they hadn’t expected you to be the one awake this late.

You smiled a bit cunningly but gently. “I expect you to be changed men.”

Your tenderness struck the men and the emotions overflowed in them. The day had been extremely emotional and more exhausting than they had ever believed, and they were realizing it only now. The trial was over, and they didn’t need to hold back or look tough anymore. They were home now.

Oikawa tried to give a laugh, but I came out weak, “Ha, w-we are indeed…” The fight they had fought for two years was now over for them, and it felt sad. This is what they wanted but it felt incredibly sad. “…i-it’s just a bit hard to accept.”

Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s expressions turned pained.

“It’s understandable, it was never meant to be an easy task.” The men nodded while holding in their tears. You smiled with a hint of sadness in your eyes. “Oikawa, Iwaizumi… it’s okay to feel sad and lost now, but eventually you need to move forward. Not today nor tomorrow, but eventually. We are all proud of you and there’s nothing to change that. Do you understand?”

Tears rose to their eyes as they listened you and nodded. They couldn’t hold it in anymore; they felt so freaking tired but reassured even though they still felt angry. The anger towards the enemy had never gone anywhere, and it frustrated.

Oikawa sobbed and gazed at you.

“(N-Name)…d-do you mind… i-if…?”

He nodded towards you while wiping his eyes. Iwaizumi was still holding in his tears but was also gazing at you. They trembled, and you knew what they wanted. You sighed and moved to sit so you were positioned at the middle of the long chair.

“I won’t mind as long as you don’t disturb my work.”

The men nodded while sniffling and sat next to you while resting their foreheads against you. Iwaizumi sat on your right side, his back towards the table and used your shoulder as a pillow. Mashur sat behind you, between Iwaizumi’s legs and held his head in the black-haired Elite’s lap, yarning for rubs. You could feel Iwaizumi’s body tremble as he finally let himself relax and cry. On your left side, Oikawa he pressed his forehead against your shoulder and held you closer carefully. He sobbed and listened your steady breathing and heartbeat, finding himself calmer the longer he listened to it.

You continued to work like nothing was going on, but you felt a bit flustered.

After an hour, you finished your working only to notice that those two were half-asleep. Both of them held your shirt tail as if they were making sure that you wouldn’t slip away without their notice. So you wouldn’t ever go away.

Because right now they felt like they were home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gods, I felt like I would have ripped my own heart open while writing this! Phew! Hopefully you liked the chapter! Thank you for your support and your kind words once again <3
> 
> So yeah! The curtain has started to rip apart and the past behind it slowly getting exposed. I would say that there's still one chapter before the big reveal, ho ho ho.
> 
> So the timeline is causing a bit confusion so here's short clarification:  
> Reader has been in Crow's Nest now for about six months, but before that she was in the base of Eagle Garden for a year. The past that she's desperately trying to hide and forget happened _before_ she went to Eagle Garden. Therefore the soldiers of Eagle Garden don't know either what has happened to her, but they were first ones to hear rumors about her.


End file.
